+IAmHulds- Ryan gives the answer in this song: “Wake up.” The past is in the past. It happened, it was important, but it can’t be changed now. What you can change is the future. Your life from this point forward is yours to live and shape and create the way you want it to be. By doing so, you can start to forgive yourself for losing so much time in the past - it will be difficult, but I believe in you. ❤️ As Ryan says: “Wake up, roll up your sleeves.” Fight for the things you think are worth fighting for, and live life from now on, looking forward into the future. I’m a nine myself, and this entire song hit me so hard. I hope you find the strength to live life the way YOU want to live it, and spend your time in the ways that feel valuable to you. ❤️
"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves-a strong sense of their own identity. Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams." -Enneagram Institute
The test told me I'm mostly a two but all of my wings are balanced. So it's weird listening to all these songs knowing there's a little bit of me in all of them.
I wonder if all other 9’s have an open G-center in the system of Human Design? It explains the same struggle of having an undefined and adaptable identity.
S.A.L. has said on his podcasts that these songs are meant to be messages for themselves, such as the types talking to them, so it may have been from the wounded past talking to the better future (Or de-integrated talking to integrated if you are a enneagram nerd), then vice versa, and finally at the end they join each other, as if the "past" finally heals/becomes integrated and realizes everything. Sorry for the rambling~
well good for you man maybe you just havent gone through your load of shit in life yet but pretty much the rest of us have. also just so you know crying doesnt make you a baby or weak or anything of the such. its a normal human function.
“I’ve been less than half myself, for more than half my life...I’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes.” ***TEARS*** Thank you, thank you. My heart needed this song.
« *I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life* » This hit me. the real *me* that half my friends dont know. because i always try to act perfect, so that everyone is happy. I just end up forgetting i should be happy too. *isnt it nice to know someone understands* ?
SAME, I took the test just 2 days ago, I wanted to tell my friend about how accurate it is, but it feels like a confession, I ended up not even bother to tell her.
Blanka! Oh man! It's so crazy how true this is isn't it? I'm a life coach who helps 9's find themselves!! I hope you begin valuing the beautiful person you are!! God made you with a specific purpose to play in this world. The fact that you are a 9 is part of that... the world needs us 9's!!! Thanks for your vulnerability!! We are all in this toghether!!
NINE - THE PEACEMAKER Type Nine in Brief Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
This part that really hit me: “Honestly, it’s easier to let myself forget” I tend to always put my feelings aside, I don’t talk about my feelings to others and I just try and let it go. I get really sensitive (I’m crying right now writing this.. lol) and this song hit me. I’m still figuring out who I am, it’s just a big relief to know that others feel the same, and that it’s not just me going through it. I believe all the niners out there, we’ll be just fine. (:
Same, I always made myself forget the bad memories so I have mostly good memories left but not a lot since I made myself forget all these things and it made me forget some other, precious things too :( But we can learn from are mistakes, and we can see the future being bright, it is the power and downfall of nines, nonetheless we'll be just fine
It's tough journey, I'm trying to find myself too. It has been really hard but I feel safe knowing that you and many people out there are going through the same thing too.
Well I always thought I knew who I was, but looking back on it now, the lines between "real/complete me" and the Character I created for myself, the one who plays a part in other peoples lives, have started to blur over the years, especially after the last person who knew the "real/complete me" left. What I believe is different from a lot of others is that I do quite like my "public persona", since it is a part of me and I wouldnt have created it if it had absolutely nothing to do with myself. I just try not to think of it too much
You aren't alone. It is almost reassuring to think that other people feel the same way. It is easier to forget and just please others and go with what they want, but it also feels like time is wasted not pursuing what we want or even knowing who we are.
I- the only reason Im probably labeled as a peacemaker is cause I just want others to be happy..Its been a while since I felt okay by myself..I only feel happy in front of others because I want them to see Im okay..I dont want people to worry about me..Id rather help other people than myself to be honest.
that's literally me. I act perfectly happy and stuff and i try to convince myself that I'm happy while around other people but in reality I'm just.. yea..
honeybooboo69 _ How can we be fine by being ourselves?.. 😔 I forgot what it feels like to be me, but I want to try to change that. I want to help my fellow 9s and other people from getting to this point too. No one deserves to feel the amount of pain that we are capable of feeling.
You know that heavy feeling you get in the back of your throat and the stinging behind your eyes and sometimes you feel this tightening in your chest with it and everything hurts but it's kind if dulled ?
I was listening to him explain the process he went through in writing “Nine” in his podcast. Since he’s a type nine this song was closer to home for him. He talked about how his heart was closed off for most of his life and he just realized it when he was producing the song. As a type nine myself I felt that in my soul.
Hour-long comment below. Forgive me, I wrote an essay earlier today. (Edited for a few typos made at 2am.) The elephant, the gentle giant. No other cover picture on this EP has depicted the animal as being a friend (an equal) of the children as opposed to simply something to be chased, pampered, observed, or near to. Both children make physical contact with the elephant without any intentions besides simply making a connection. In this way, the gentle giant has bridged the gap between species and perhaps even gender. It does this alone, out of its own free will, without any ulterior motive. This is the simplest song on the EP in terms of instrumentation. No frills are needed. The Type Nine would prefer to keep things simple and calm if it is an option. Even within this, the Nine has their moments of creativity, beauty, intense emotion, and vulnerability. Yes, this is a song about the Type Nine, but even more so, it is a song about Ryan. This is his confession to each of us, expressed as gently and purposefully as a Nine could muster, not wanting to be untrue to the listeners, the Nines, nor himself. _"I've been sleep-walking since I was fourteen."_ When you're playing for both teams, as the Nine often does to avoid conflict, you are likely to miss the game entirely. Being stubbornly neutral subtracts from one's experiences in life as they have never taken their life as their own. _"I've been less than half myself for more than half my life."_ For those who insist on adapting every point of view, the realization eventually comes that while they were understanding and explaining the views of others, they never took the time to see their own. At this point, after so many years of mimicking others, it is hard to determine what is the true self and what is the fluctuating conglomeration of everyone else. For these individuals, their mid-life crisis is actually an awakening. They awaken the parts of themselves that remained dormant for so many years, parts that they may have never known were there. _"Wake up."_ _"It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes."_ The Nine, having denied themselves of themselves, seeks to discover their own views by trial and error. How much do I agree with this person? Do I feel like this person is more right or that person? If I see both points of view, does that mean I'm in the middle or outside of it all? Do I actually see both points of view, or am I just trying to equalize them? _"How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?"_ After the Nine realizes they have been "sleep-walking" through life, they feel regret for all the decisions never made, experiences never had, beliefs never explored. They regret their passiveness in times when confrontation would have worked best. They regret holding back opinions for the sake of temporary, shallow peace. They regret having lived subtly, not allowing themselves to remember bluntness and instability were options as well. _"Wake up."_ The choral singers erupt (harmonious, balanced) as Ryan insists to wage war on one of the most difficult and eternal opponents--gravity. This is surely a futile battle, one that no earth-bound creature could ever win on their own. And yet, winning isn't the goal. _"There's so much to fight for, you'll see."_ The goal is to become connected to life through conflict, going against Nine instincts to discover themselves. Now, the dominoes are falling into place, fulfilling their purpose and becoming apart of something magnificent. Progress is no longer hindered, and an old stranger--hidden within the pattern of the unfallen dominoes--can now be accessed as the picture is finally revealed. The scales are tipping, and the unbalanced, the instability and recklessness, are welcomed as new experiences. On Ryan's final note, he expresses the two most difficult yet rewarding achievements of humans: knowing oneself as well as others. This is a message for not only Nines but everyone, an overall summary of this EP, which served as an introspective to human personality at its best and most fragile. And through this EP, Ryan was indeed able to show his understanding of himself and others. And to those who have been able to interpret each of these nine songs and identify aspects of themselves along the way, you have done the very same. We have all faced one of the greatest challenges of this world and, in overcoming it, contributed to the beauty of our world as well...
As a nine, I’ve been waiting for this song for a very long time. Thank you for your beautiful analysis. It was perfectly written. You made me tear up a little. 💕
I really like the idea of this song being not only about type nines, but about Ryan; some motifs and figures from this song he has used in previous songs, even the themed ones, so I guess he was always trying to show us parts of himself
@Ana Karen R. What's interesting about the Type Nine is that they are actually bits and pieces of all the other types. In each of the previous songs, we've been given glimpses of who Ryan is. Perhaps it is his Nine personality that allowed him to write such accurate portrayals of the other types and to feel such a deep connection with each one...
I write poems as well and i have written something similar "I'll be who you want me to be." This song litterally made me cry like a child having a temper tantrum.
I’m a five, but I have so much respect for type nines. They are truly beautiful human beings and under-appreciated. Thank you for Ryan and all the nines out there for your gifts and willingness to serve! Also thanks to the people running this channel for putting out this great content 🔥
I’m a six but this was my second highest score, and man I respect these people so much. They’ve probably getting hurt but still wear their heart on their sleeves.
@@booboohalloween we have to be strong for others so they feel they can be vulnerable. A 9's life is one not everyone should wish upon their enemies because this is a life of someone who gets used alot, gets beaten down and underestimated alot.
I’m a nine and a four, and I have been struggling to find myself. I feel like I’m watching life happen from the outside and just touching it with the tip of my finger. It’s a heartwarming feeling but it’s sad in some ways too. My emotions are so strong and overwhelming and this makes them that much more difficult for me to decode. I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know where I will belong in the basic concept of life but it’s okay because what matters is that I’m still going. It may or may not be in the direction society wants me to go, but I’m just going. I can’t explain it. It’s the feeling of not knowing what the hell you’re doing or how to get where you need to be, but still just having a greater sense of what’s going on in the world at the same time. I also want to get life over with so that I can step further out of the “ordinary” and step into a new made up world where I belong. I long to escape the Ordinary. I am forever a child at heart. I am a child but I am still more wise than I appear on the surface.
okay, im so confused what type i am. the test i took said i was either a 2 4 or 9. and another website said i was a 6. but i totally understand ur comment :)
I am, too, hun. I don't know who I am. It's hard because I see everything and put myself in scenerios and feel what it would feel like. That's what nines do...so...I think I at least know I'm a nine. I think..
I genuinely cried listening to this song. As a type 9 this song has been a long time coming. Ryan never disappoints but I never imagined he could capture something like this in song.
As a Nine I can say that this suddenly makes me feel so heard and seen and understood and appreciated. Words are not enough to describe this beauty. It was worth every second of waiting.
@@judgemental9237 There's a test I took to see which of the nine types I was! I'm not sure which one most people use, but this is the one I took and it's been reliable for my friends and I: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test2
I am a Nine and this hits like a truck, especially considering that I've been going through a huge struggle of mental health lately. Brought a tear to my eye, honestly, with how powerful and accurate it really is. Another beautiful, beautiful song from Ryan and a Year Two that I know I'll be buying when it's available as a physical CD pack.
I'm INFP, and this song's last lyrics is EVERYTHING "to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do" I relate to this song so much.. Always trying to find meaning in this world, also I recently realized I panic when there's no reason, trying to find it on my own When I know life sometimes doesn't go as we plan and there's sometimes no reason, but I just HAVE to know Also I know about myself very well, but at the same time it just..doesn't feel enough? I feel like there's still so much thing to learn about myself and the others but it's just too hard to know everything.. r
mate u seem like an awesome person!! also loving how ur an INFP as im an ENFP :D also i promise, that eventually ull get to know urself fully, it is a lifetime work, but WORTH IT!! :D have a good day!
Sleeping is my biggest inspection. I love his songs so much. I listen to them before I go sleep, when I feel sad I cry listening to his soft voice. I don't know how I could live without his music.
this song didn't relate to me, it spoke to me it made me feel things I hadn't felt in years and remember things I had hoped I'd never think of again. I'm not sure if I've ever been myself, I've spent my whole life being a reflection of the people around me that I might not even know how to leave it. I want to be my own person, I want to be able to walk with confidence and talk like I love myself but I still find comfort in being the support to someone else, lifting up someone else, being devoted to someone else and neglecting me. I step out and try to develop who I am is scary to say the least, what if I don't like who I actually am? What if me becoming my own person drives everyone away? Honestly, thank you so much Ryan for making these songs, I've loved all of them and I'm so happy you take time out of your life to make music that touches so many people. Your music is very much a nine, and I love that Edit 1/4/20: It's been nearly a year since I made this comment and I'm happy to be able to say I've mostly fought through the urge to suppress my personality and be a blank slate. All I want to do now is be who I am without apology and the people who will accept me will stay, I have faith in that. To the people who liked or replied to this, I hope you're all doing well! Growing is a beautifully slow process and I ask you all to look back at who you were a year ago or more and feel proud of the progress you've made! Time always moves forward, you won't be where you are forever ♥ I promise. Edit 21/06/21: I finally found out why I've been like this most of my life. I'm autistic, and this behaviour of moulding to everyone else was me masking to survive. Thank you Ryan for making a song for neurodivergent people, it feels so much stronger to listen to this now knowing the truth of who I am. This revelation isn't a tragedy, it's an amazing relief. Time does move forwards, and I'm not stuck anymore, learning to un-mask has been a difficult but rewarding journey. ♥
theladyoflove You sir, you made a angsty teenager cry. It’s real easy to change for people just to become one of the group. We all have a voice but sometimes its hard to find it. You and all other nines have to find their own voice and understand that waiting for people isn’t the way to go. Because when were waiting for others we neglect our selfs. We never wait for ourselfs, so we become chained to the rythm, I really hope that you find your voice in this world. I hope you find love. I hope you live a life that is good and self loving. I love you stranger. Have a wonderful and independent life
I'm a nine, and I mean this from the body of my heart, this is such an important message for me to hear, and it just fits. It's so beautiful and so well done, and I'm so happy I can hear it now, after coming to my home town after eight years. This song, it feels like coming back from a dream and coming home, if that makes sense. This song captures that feeling, of being lost and finally making that choice to come home. It's beautiful to hear such a feeling put to music.
Yes!! That part about coming home and waking up!! I have been really struggling trying to figure out which number I am... another nine kept telling me she thought I was a four. I scored highest on a two... and then four and nine right behind, then five, but these top ones were almost tied. And I kept having this feeling like, man, I don’t remember ever really knowing what my opinions were on things or my type... life just kind of happened. I wish I would have spent more time figuring out who I was instead of getting enmeshed in everyone else’s story (sometimes trying to “solve” drama or heal connections and so deeply sad when I couldn’t control harmony). I can want perfection and the noble just cause like a one, love nurturing others like a two, get way lost in feelings and love expressing them like a four, go hours and hours without food on a research binge like a five, just wanna be in the moment like a seven... and maybe some three, eight and six in there too... but honestly not really know where I land. Other people I know seem so sure of their type... and so I was waiting so expectantly for this song. And oh my... it felt different than the others. Even though the others resonated! This one felt like it was coming from inside of me, or out of the pages of my childhood, or holding a mirror up to me, or simply taking my hand gently and saying, “I know.” What a tribute, what a piece. Your music is helping us find us. I am so grateful to be alive in the time you’re writing this. Bless you friend.
As a nine, I believe I'm just starting to find myself. But I struggle to even get the concept of "myself"... I think that me, and perhaps other nines, do not really have an individual, rather several traits of other people meshed up into one. I feel like I'm always adopting traits that I see, and it can change at a simple flick of a lightswitch. I believe a true Nine's self will show in solitude, when there is noone to pick up these traits from. I this is why I, and surely other nines, cherish their alone time so much. There is no one to pressure. I feel that nines are too subconscious and supportive of other peoples feelings, so much so that even being out in public is draining. We make great support, but maybe not the best leaders. I say all of this as I sit here alone, thinking about how difficult it would be to even think about myself, and not others, in public. It is both extremely depressing and prideful at the same time, because I finally realize that I fit in somewhere... i am apart of something indefinitely. I feel like I belong, the one thing nines strive for the most. I am a nine.
I’ve always told myself “I always tell people their beautiful not only because they are but because I don’t want to see them sad” I’ve always told others standards don’t defy themselves but I’m such a hypocrite I’m her telling others to not compare when I always compare and want to be beautiful
"Nine" Who am I To say what any of this means- I have been sleepwalking Since I was fourteen Now as I write my song I retrace my steps Honestly, it’s easier To let myself forget Still, I check my vital signs Choked up, I realize I’ve been less than half myself For more than half my life Wake up Fall in love again Wage war on gravity There’s so much Worth fighting for You’ll see Another domino falls Either way It looks like empathy To understand all sides But I’m just trying to find myself Through someone else’s eyes So please show me what to do To restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself For losing so much time? Wake up Roll up your sleeves There’s a chain reaction In your heart Muscle memory Remembering who you are Stand up Fall in love again and again and again Wage war on gravity There’s so much Worth fighting for You’ll see Another domino falls And another domino falls A little at a time I feel more alive I let the scale tip and feel all of it It’s uncomfortable but right We were born to try To see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful Work we’ll ever do It's a lyric video but for those who like reading their lyrics ahead like me here you go
Ryan (the artist) actually has a podcast where he goes into great depth about everything in this whole series, he reveals so many hidden bits and little gifts. It is a masterpiece. The episode for this song is so deep and explanatory!
2:08 “It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes.” 2:41 “How do I forgive myself for losing so much time? Wake up.” I was cleaning while listening to this because I thought it wasn’t going to hit me that hard, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down after that part. You put the feeling I’ve been trying to explain all my life in words. That’s the closest I’ve come to crying from a piece of media, my breath was shaky and everything
As a 9... Wow... I was waiting for this song for so long, and I'm so sad to find how depressing it seems to be. This song hit really close to home and did a really beautiful job os showing where 9s need to grow... but I found it so sad that it doesn't highlight the gifts that 9's bring to the world. If you are a 9 and feel empty and sad after listening to this... I am so sorry! Just know that you are a GIFT... you are NOT someone who has been living only half alive. One of the core struggles of a 9 is to finally value the gift that they really are. Where is the celebration of the peace and beauty and love they bring? What about the gift of seeing other people, of being able to communicate to others in a deep and powerful way? The time you gave and listened and loved was SO valuable! ... The time you gave up for others, the ways you allowed others to choose what would make them happy, was a treasure, a beautiful gift. The empathy you showed was not just to get some sort of revelation about yourself! It was coming from a heart that feels deeply and knows deeply. You can intuitively understand the pain and feelings of the person in front of you. That understanding was one of the most rare and powerful things you could have given that person in their moment of deep pain. As a 9 you bring so much to those around you!! The world needs you and the gifts you naturally bring to it! In a culture where individualism is seen as the highest and best way to live the gifts and values a 9 brings can feel diminished. Continue to bring beauty, seek truth, be a champion for peace and yes, listen to yourself and live boldly... but don't let this song discourage you. Don't think you have wasted your life!!! Who you are and what you have brought absolutely matters!! I wish Sleeping At Last would rewrite this song. Let's celebrate who we are too!!
@@ifraahhashi1867... You are so welcome! I realized that the guy who wrote this is a 9... and we often have a hard time celebrating who we are compared to others... and we really focus on making things better. I think that came out in the writing of this song without the writer realizing it... Just wanted to speak some truth over us... We are a treasure, made by God... for the world! Blessings dear!!
Thank you for this!! It’s a great song on where we can grow but I really love what you said and how we should celebrate who we are and our strengths too! God created us with such deep gifts and strengths that will change lives😊 Thanks for sharing
@@naomilasela4677 Oh! Yes, I'm glad you could relate. I was just so burdened for all my fellow 9's after listening to this!! I am a Life Coach and I know the struggle it can be for people trying to find direction. Often we can look at all our past work and say it was just a waste because it was done for others or to help their dreams come to pass. But even in my own journey, I've learned that the service we give out of love is valuable even if it's not building our own personal kingdom or career. I hope you are well! Are you a 9 too?
Nines, a tip that has worked for me to break out of my barrier was removing social media from my life, Netflix, video games, from my life. Taking away the things that bring me instant gratification and replacing them with endeavors and practices based on delaying gratification for greater rewards. My mind is more free to focus in on here and now.
"I've been sleepwalking since I was fourteen" Bro. I don't sleepwalk, but I daydream all the time. "Fall in love again" I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be.
This has me in tears. As a nine ive felt like this for ever. I'm 21 years old and I'm still trying to figure out who I am, what the purpose of my life. Like it feels like I'm a walking blank canvas, I don't know who I am. And listening to this I realized how much I've spent just trying to get from day to day. To subsist and survive.
Was tearful less than 10 seconds in. This encapsulates me perfectly, it's going to take listening to several hundred times to fully appreciate it. Gives me hope that I haven't lost my life, but am starting to find it. Thank you for such a beautiful song that sings to so many hearts.
OH MY GOSH. 38,300 VIEWS IN 24 HOURS!? In that same time, 380 NEW SUBSCRIBERS!? This is unbelievable!!! Thank you so much for making this my greatest video by far! You made this happen! 😊 I love you all so much! I hope you know that! Love, TIM
this is one of the most beautiful songs ive ever heard. i am rarely moved to tears, yet i found myself quietly crying as i listened. bravissimo a million times over.
I’ve never EVER seen a piece of media or music so effectively and beautifully encapsulate the feeling of being mentally checked out for the sake of peace, for the sake of never wanting to step on others toes, and then the feeling of horror when you realize that you’ve been less than half a person all your life. This is powerful. I’m so touched. I never truly knew others felt like this and I feel like im truly ready to try and start living as a whole person, not the mold of what other people want. This song brings so much bittersweet joy to me and drives me to live more. My thanks to Ryan are endless🧡
"We were born to try To see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful Work we’ll ever do"Oh, my goodness. This is so true and powerful!!!
i’m a nine and i was worried that this song wouldn’t be everything i’ve been waiting for since this series started. it was everything and more :( the “but i’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes” made me cry, and i didn’t stop till the song finished. it’s absolutely beautiful, i’m so grateful for this whole series and both happy and sad that it’s over :(💗
Ryan. Thank you Ryan. I absolutely needed this. I'm. I'm speechless. HOW? How do you do this? From the first line, I was HOOKED. "Who am I to say what any of this means???" REALLY??? COME ON!!!! I choked up when he said he was choked up. "I've been less than half myself for more than half my life." "Wake up. Fall in love again. Wage war on gravity" I have to do this constantly. I don't always win. "There's a chain reaction in your heart. Muscle memory remembering who you are" 😍😭😍😭😍😭 I'm officially a type nine, now that I've heard this. I wasn't sure before, but now I know. Is this how all the other types felt when their song dropped? Because WOW. This feels so 100 personal. To Ryan, because he's a nine, but also to me. And I can't believe it's over. Not just Atlas. I mean the song as well. It's a five minute song, but I sat here nearly sobbing the whole time. I sat here for 5 minutes, but it honestly felt like barely 3. My only complaint is that I need 20 minutes of this. And maybe that last line lacks a little poetic cadence, but I can tell it's going to grow on me. Also, something about this feels "classical Disney" and I LOVE it.
You've been a subscriber for a long time now and I cannot tell you how much I loved reading your reaction. You've waited so long for your type and IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! I'm literally so happy for you! ❤❤❤ -TIM
@@TheInspirationalMind I love that your channel has grown so much, and not just with Sleeping At Last Songs, but with other songs as well... and yet you still remember and care about individual subbers. You are truly legendary. I can't thank you enough for always supplying us with the lyric videos. This has to be the best YT channel ever. 💖💖💖
Atlas II has been a great ride for me. For the past year I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions, but this mans music has gotten me through everything. The music and lyrics are just so good and special, to me he deserves so much more recondition. Thank you Ryan for everything you have done for me and everyone else through your music.
Why does every time you wanted to pour out your true and deepest feeling, you can't help yourself from crying? Why does it feel so heavy whenever you tried to spoke your thoughts? Why does it pain so much to share your vulnerabilities? Why.. why does it hurt when you wanted to be understood by others? Isn't that what you want? What.. I want? It is what I want. But why then? Why can't you share it? Like how I feel other's feelings, mine as well is the same. But more, and more, and more deeply. Because it grows in me. It lives in me. I fight with it yet I cherish it. But I can't seem to make it understandable. When I start to speak about it, I can't help myself to be flooded with all of my emotions. It stirred my heart uncontrollably. It's like it has been waiting to be free recklessly. And I'm afraid. That something I treasure in me, didn't reach others. - From one of your fellow 9's
it's like this song is telling me my own life story. it's so reflective of how I feel and what I think. "I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen." in freshman year, I hit rock bottom. anxious and unhealthy and severely depressed, self-harming, suicidal... it was crushing me and I was really, really ready to just give up. I wanted to. "still, I check my vital signs. choked up, I realize that I've been less than half myself for more than half my life." through lots and lots of therapy, meds, and lifestyle changes, I became stable, at least. but still struggling immensely. being alive was hard work. I've been alive 17 years. I haven't been myself for 10 of them. sad and quiet and always trying to be the peacemaker and not expressing my feelings in any healthy ways. and now that I'm out of it, I look back and I feel heartbroken. I want to hug my 14 year old self tightly and tell her I'm going to live to the end of freshman year. I'm going to be the lead in a play. I'm going to start playing ice hockey. I'm going to find the best friend I've ever had. I'm going to stop cutting. I'm going to wear short sleeves. I'm going to be *okay*. "wake up." I feel like myself, finally. and yet, like a totally different person. it's strange; this past year has been both the best and worst of my life. It ranged from performing as a lead in a play and starting to play ice hockey by working harder than I ever thought I could, both of which I had never been brave enough to do before, to losing my father to suicide. and somehow, I'm better than I've ever been. I'm okay, for once. for some reason I'll never figure out, I came through all this shit with something to show for it. it didn't break me; I somehow didn't let it. I don't know how. "how do I forgive myself for losing so much time?" I feel like I've spent the past four years in high school wishing for each day to be over, telling myself "just get through this week", telling myself it'll be better next month. I spent all my time wishing for it to be over that I didn't experience it at all. high school's gone, and I feel like there's so much I didn't do. "roll up your sleeves. there's a chain reaction in your heart. remembering who you are. stand up. I feel motivated and energetic and awake and stable. I never thought I could say that without it being a lie. it's crazy. I have a job, I graduated high school, I've been clean from self harm for almost 4 years now. I'm feeling again, I'm healthy. I'm myself - positive, friendly, compassionate. and I can say that without feeling guilty for being kind to myself. I can look in the mirror and recognize myself. "there's so much worth fighting for, you'll see..." for the first time, I believe it. I actually go to bed sometimes looking forward to tomorrow. I have hope, actually. "a little at a time, I feel more alive... I'll let the scale tip and feel all of it, it's uncomfortable but right." day by day, I'm improving - learning how to be productive and healthy and happy and kind to myself. I'm working through my problems instead of drowning in them and keeping them to myself for fear of burdening other people. "...to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." I can now be kind to people without damaging myself. I can make friends without putting myself down. I can hug someone and tell them it's going to be alright, because I *know*. I can smile genuinely at people, make someone's day just a little brighter. and that's what's important to me: helping people. peace and harmony and friendship and love. it's been hard figuring out how to do that without taking so much out of myself, but I finally got it: I had to help myself before I could help anyone else. and I did it, finally. I did it.
I am a nine, and i honestly couldn't believe what i heard in this song. I couldn't finish without letting some tears fall, who knew that after a odd test you could end up here.
Why do I feel like I need someone to understand me? The strong emotions I get when I think of something I miss about my childhood for example. When me and my friends share memories they always say like «Ahw! I miss those times, but when I share my feelings about it, they really do not understand.. I want someone to understand how hard it is for me to think about something I miss. Really tho, having someone who shares the same feelings.. That would be something..
Bro, I feel this. I always feel like I miss things way more than others do and I pull back on expressing those emotions cause I don’t wanna “scare people away.”
It brings tears to my eyes that this album is over. It brings tears to my eyes knowing he is a nine, and the rawness in his voice is real. I’m a fellow two, but just knowing he sang this song and everyone before it with just as much emotion, I am forever grateful. Idk if he’ll ever see this but thank you Ryan. You saved my life. And thank you Tim for uploading this. I needed this.
the moment i saw this i clicked on it right away and as soon as he began singing i was literally moved to tears. this whole atlas year two has felt like such a journey and i feel so lucky to be able to listen to all of these songs.
when he said wake up I imagined shaking the last real version of myself, trying to wake her up. crying because I don't even think she's alive anymore. she was so small and lively and brilliant. I miss her.
This is worth everything. The wait. The emotional rollercoaster the album’s taken us on. The tears shed and the warmth in our hearts. It’s all been worth it. No better way to come to an end than this. Thank you SAL and thank you TIM. Thank you so much.
The emotion in his voice, the lyrics, the chorus and inspirational music There’s no way i’m getting through 1 second of this video without crying. Truly a masterpiece.
i'm in tears. I've been waiting for this ever since he released one. this is such an amazing and beautiful ending to the series. it explains me so deeply that it hurts. wow. thankyou.
Thank you. I've waited for almost a year for number 9, and here we are. 10/10 started to cry. How do I forgive myself for losing so much time? That line hit me real hard. ❤
I’m a nine and a two and this hit hard dude. His song made me have that feeling in your stomach where your about to cry but you just can’t. I didn’t believe this t at first hit low I’m crying
![Diggy Graves - Red Vineyard [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8Ro085T0mnQ/mqdefault.jpg)
nines, we will be okay
Jimins V Line this comment
I read this comment and just started bawling...
yeah, we will
Fellow army, we will definitely be okay!!
Armyyy
"It looks like empathy to understand all sides but i'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes."
Just wow.
Yeh. That was slightly confronting. But honest.
bruh the libra in me jumped
Me
this is where i started tearing up.
I could never put this feeling that I so very often have into words. Wow is right!
“How do forgive myself for losing so much time?
Wake up. “
oh my goodness
nae loomis that one reaaally got me
that’s the part that really hit me too.
nae loomis i cried fuck
nae loomis I thought the same, that really hit home
nae loomis that’s the part I started bawling my eyes out
“How do i forgive myself for losing so much time”
I FELT THAT 🥺
Unbothered 6 how do you? I can’t find it I myself to just let it all go and forgive myself
Even me...
+IAmHulds- Ryan gives the answer in this song: “Wake up.” The past is in the past. It happened, it was important, but it can’t be changed now. What you can change is the future. Your life from this point forward is yours to live and shape and create the way you want it to be. By doing so, you can start to forgive yourself for losing so much time in the past - it will be difficult, but I believe in you. ❤️ As Ryan says: “Wake up, roll up your sleeves.” Fight for the things you think are worth fighting for, and live life from now on, looking forward into the future. I’m a nine myself, and this entire song hit me so hard. I hope you find the strength to live life the way YOU want to live it, and spend your time in the ways that feel valuable to you. ❤️
me too 😣
S a m e
"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves-a strong sense of their own identity.
Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams."
-Enneagram Institute
wow, this got me.
The test told me I'm mostly a two but all of my wings are balanced. So it's weird listening to all these songs knowing there's a little bit of me in all of them.
So that's why I feel confused all the time. I thought I was a four, then a five, then an eight. all along I was a nine.
I wonder if all other 9’s have an open G-center in the system of Human Design? It explains the same struggle of having an undefined and adaptable identity.
Woah, that explains why I relate a little bit in every eannagram song-
notice how the song switches between "I" and "you" and finally "we" at the end
Thank u for pointing this out 👏
I did not notice this, and now I am so happy that you did. This is beautiful!
@@DragonsRuby glad to! Always paid attention to pov pronouns in ap lit
why did I start crying again after this comment
S.A.L. has said on his podcasts that these songs are meant to be messages for themselves, such as the types talking to them, so it may have been from the wounded past talking to the better future (Or de-integrated talking to integrated if you are a enneagram nerd), then vice versa, and finally at the end they join each other, as if the "past" finally heals/becomes integrated and realizes everything. Sorry for the rambling~
i hope all the nines out there think this was worth the wait :”)
Yes it is
It really was
It is 💞
Yes....and i'm crying now
After I took the test I tried listening on spotify but no premium so I came here, listened to it and now I feel called out by this song lol
I just realized something!! The length of the song is 5:22
5+2+2= *9*
I didn't notice it at first 👏
Oh shit
Son of a bitch...that's clever.
"FBI OPEN UP"
Knowing Ryan... he probably did that on purpose 😊
i normally think tests like this are bs but honestly i couldnt make it through the song without crying like a baby
Tara type 9 almost exactly describes how I act down to how I handle stress overload.
Same
well good for you man maybe you just havent gone through your load of shit in life yet but pretty much the rest of us have. also just so you know crying doesnt make you a baby or weak or anything of the such. its a normal human function.
Tara honestly me too
Tara What test?
ironically we waited and got to know every other number before truly knowing ourselves in this track
“I’ve been less than half myself, for more than half my life...I’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes.” ***TEARS***
Thank you, thank you. My heart needed this song.
Rachel Lisboa mine too
Same here!
Same. And the "wake up" is so gentle, which I also need.
Me toooooo! And "how do i forgive myself for losing so much time?"
@@lifetodamax I need that too. I can't even yell at own myself...I'll hurt my own feelings and crawl back under the covers."😆
I'm a nine, and this hits me like a truck cause I literally don't know who I really am
"I don't know who I am" is literally the biggest eye opener of my life :"0
Sophie M omg me too so im just guessig whatever is on the song is what i am or what i need to do
Sophie M ur profile scared the shitt out of me
Same
Isabella Ross YESS I FEEL LIKE NONE OF MY FRIENDS REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS
I’m a four but realizing this is what nines feel like, I’m crying for them. Hang in there sweet nines, you will be ok, you will find yourself
How sweet of you
i'm both which sucks tskk
Sammeee as a four 😂😭
Me too, im a 4 but the test shows that im a lot like 9s
aww :))
« *I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life* »
This hit me.
the real *me*
that half my friends dont know.
because i always try to act perfect, so that everyone is happy.
I just end up forgetting i should be happy too.
*isnt it nice to know someone understands* ?
The fact your comment made me cry.. honestly SAME
SAME, I took the test just 2 days ago, I wanted to tell my friend about how accurate it is, but it feels like a confession, I ended up not even bother to tell her.
Same
this is the realest thing ive ever heard. i love you
Blanka! Oh man! It's so crazy how true this is isn't it?
I'm a life coach who helps 9's find themselves!! I hope you begin valuing the beautiful person you are!! God made you with a specific purpose to play in this world. The fact that you are a 9 is part of that... the world needs us 9's!!! Thanks for your vulnerability!! We are all in this toghether!!
"i'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes"
that hit close to home
NINE - THE PEACEMAKER
Type Nine in Brief
Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
I literally took this test an hour ago and have gotten 9w1, wow
@@MYCOCO62 what test?
@@ΓαλήνηΧ-ε9ε the enneagram test! all the 9 songs are based on the 9 enneagram types
This is great. Thanks.
amazing
"It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live." -Victor Hugo
There's something so beautiful about hearing an artist called Sleeping at Last sing "wake up" with such love and warmth.
True .. it feels like he is saying it specially for u just for you
Ryan is a 9, so he is in a sense talking about himself in this song. If you listen to his podcast he explains it all. Amazing art.
😭😭😭😭😭
Ryan is a 9, this song is about a 9 , the comment was written 9 months ago
This part that really hit me:
“Honestly, it’s easier to let myself forget”
I tend to always put my feelings aside, I don’t talk about my feelings to others and I just try and let it go. I get really sensitive (I’m crying right now writing this.. lol) and this song hit me. I’m still figuring out who I am, it’s just a big relief to know that others feel the same, and that it’s not just me going through it. I believe all the niners out there, we’ll be just fine. (:
Same, I always made myself forget the bad memories so I have mostly good memories left but not a lot since I made myself forget all these things and it made me forget some other, precious things too :(
But we can learn from are mistakes, and we can see the future being bright, it is the power and downfall of nines, nonetheless we'll be just fine
It's tough journey, I'm trying to find myself too. It has been really hard but I feel safe knowing that you and many people out there are going through the same thing too.
Well I always thought I knew who I was, but looking back on it now, the lines between "real/complete me" and the Character I created for myself, the one who plays a part in other peoples lives, have started to blur over the years, especially after the last person who knew the "real/complete me" left. What I believe is different from a lot of others is that I do quite like my "public persona", since it is a part of me and I wouldnt have created it if it had absolutely nothing to do with myself. I just try not to think of it too much
You aren't alone. It is almost reassuring to think that other people feel the same way. It is easier to forget and just please others and go with what they want, but it also feels like time is wasted not pursuing what we want or even knowing who we are.
I- the only reason Im probably labeled as a peacemaker is cause I just want others to be happy..Its been a while since I felt okay by myself..I only feel happy in front of others because I want them to see Im okay..I dont want people to worry about me..Id rather help other people than myself to be honest.
Chaotic_Mood i’m exactly the same
that's literally me. I act perfectly happy and stuff and i try to convince myself that I'm happy while around other people but in reality I'm just.. yea..
honeybooboo69 _
How can we be fine by being ourselves?.. 😔 I forgot what it feels like to be me, but I want to try to change that. I want to help my fellow 9s and other people from getting to this point too.
No one deserves to feel the amount of pain that we are capable of feeling.
@@badasstoad9419 do u have insta or snap?
Chaotic_Mood listen to 2 too
You know that heavy feeling you get in the back of your throat and the stinging behind your eyes and sometimes you feel this tightening in your chest with it and everything hurts but it's kind if dulled ?
Sure do!
D.C. yes I know that feeling!! 😱
Mhm
Yup sometimes I just dig my nails into my skin when that happens
YES THATS IT
I was listening to him explain the process he went through in writing “Nine” in his podcast. Since he’s a type nine this song was closer to home for him. He talked about how his heart was closed off for most of his life and he just realized it when he was producing the song. As a type nine myself I felt that in my soul.
"Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps."
I wonder if that's how he was able to make such impactful songs for every other type. It was a perfect job for a nine.
Hour-long comment below. Forgive me, I wrote an essay earlier today. (Edited for a few typos made at 2am.)
The elephant, the gentle giant. No other cover picture on this EP has depicted the animal as being a friend (an equal) of the children as opposed to simply something to be chased, pampered, observed, or near to. Both children make physical contact with the elephant without any intentions besides simply making a connection. In this way, the gentle giant has bridged the gap between species and perhaps even gender. It does this alone, out of its own free will, without any ulterior motive.
This is the simplest song on the EP in terms of instrumentation. No frills are needed. The Type Nine would prefer to keep things simple and calm if it is an option. Even within this, the Nine has their moments of creativity, beauty, intense emotion, and vulnerability. Yes, this is a song about the Type Nine, but even more so, it is a song about Ryan. This is his confession to each of us, expressed as gently and purposefully as a Nine could muster, not wanting to be untrue to the listeners, the Nines, nor himself.
_"I've been sleep-walking since I was fourteen."_ When you're playing for both teams, as the Nine often does to avoid conflict, you are likely to miss the game entirely. Being stubbornly neutral subtracts from one's experiences in life as they have never taken their life as their own.
_"I've been less than half myself for more than half my life."_ For those who insist on adapting every point of view, the realization eventually comes that while they were understanding and explaining the views of others, they never took the time to see their own. At this point, after so many years of mimicking others, it is hard to determine what is the true self and what is the fluctuating conglomeration of everyone else. For these individuals, their mid-life crisis is actually an awakening. They awaken the parts of themselves that remained dormant for so many years, parts that they may have never known were there. _"Wake up."_
_"It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes."_ The Nine, having denied themselves of themselves, seeks to discover their own views by trial and error. How much do I agree with this person? Do I feel like this person is more right or that person? If I see both points of view, does that mean I'm in the middle or outside of it all? Do I actually see both points of view, or am I just trying to equalize them?
_"How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?"_ After the Nine realizes they have been "sleep-walking" through life, they feel regret for all the decisions never made, experiences never had, beliefs never explored. They regret their passiveness in times when confrontation would have worked best. They regret holding back opinions for the sake of temporary, shallow peace. They regret having lived subtly, not allowing themselves to remember bluntness and instability were options as well. _"Wake up."_
The choral singers erupt (harmonious, balanced) as Ryan insists to wage war on one of the most difficult and eternal opponents--gravity. This is surely a futile battle, one that no earth-bound creature could ever win on their own. And yet, winning isn't the goal. _"There's so much to fight for, you'll see."_ The goal is to become connected to life through conflict, going against Nine instincts to discover themselves.
Now, the dominoes are falling into place, fulfilling their purpose and becoming apart of something magnificent. Progress is no longer hindered, and an old stranger--hidden within the pattern of the unfallen dominoes--can now be accessed as the picture is finally revealed. The scales are tipping, and the unbalanced, the instability and recklessness, are welcomed as new experiences.
On Ryan's final note, he expresses the two most difficult yet rewarding achievements of humans: knowing oneself as well as others. This is a message for not only Nines but everyone, an overall summary of this EP, which served as an introspective to human personality at its best and most fragile. And through this EP, Ryan was indeed able to show his understanding of himself and others. And to those who have been able to interpret each of these nine songs and identify aspects of themselves along the way, you have done the very same. We have all faced one of the greatest challenges of this world and, in overcoming it, contributed to the beauty of our world as well...
I really really love this explaination of yours :')))
As a nine, I’ve been waiting for this song for a very long time. Thank you for your beautiful analysis. It was perfectly written. You made me tear up a little. 💕
This comment is lovely and made me cry
I really like the idea of this song being not only about type nines, but about Ryan; some motifs and figures from this song he has used in previous songs, even the themed ones, so I guess he was always trying to show us parts of himself
@Ana Karen R.
What's interesting about the Type Nine is that they are actually bits and pieces of all the other types. In each of the previous songs, we've been given glimpses of who Ryan is. Perhaps it is his Nine personality that allowed him to write such accurate portrayals of the other types and to feel such a deep connection with each one...
"fall in love again"
I see this as falling in love with yourself and learning to love yourself again ❤️
•Spicy Milk• 🥺
fuck i’m crying fjdkjs
I used to see it that way. But I fell in love.. and we were torn apart. Now I can’t fall in love again.
@@NexIsDed I’m so sorry for you... you can heal I promise! I’ll be rooting for you and praying for you
“Sleep walking since you were 14” I had a depressive dissociative break when u was 14 so that line hits close to home
my first love broke me when I was 14 ... i hope this isn't a common pattern ;-;
same 14 was the darkest time for me
Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD started at 14.
I'm 14.... hELP
That line hit me hard too
"How do I forgive myself for loosing so much time" cuts so deep it woke me up.
Thank you so much for this
In a poem I wrote: "Tell me who I am." So when "I'm trying to find myself through someone else's eyes" showed up--tears were falling.
I write poems as well and i have written something similar "I'll be who you want me to be." This song litterally made me cry like a child having a temper tantrum.
I’m a five, but I have so much respect for type nines. They are truly beautiful human beings and under-appreciated. Thank you for Ryan and all the nines out there for your gifts and willingness to serve! Also thanks to the people running this channel for putting out this great content 🔥
Eric Tian 👏🏻 yas
I’m a six but this was my second highest score, and man I respect these people so much. They’ve probably getting hurt but still wear their heart on their sleeves.
@@booboohalloween we have to be strong for others so they feel they can be vulnerable. A 9's life is one not everyone should wish upon their enemies because this is a life of someone who gets used alot, gets beaten down and underestimated alot.
i took the test and it gave me 5, 9 and 7
I’m a nine. Thank you.
I feel so called out by this, but like, in the most gentle and loving way possible.
I’m a nine and a four, and I have been struggling to find myself. I feel like I’m watching life happen from the outside and just touching it with the tip of my finger. It’s a heartwarming feeling but it’s sad in some ways too. My emotions are so strong and overwhelming and this makes them that much more difficult for me to decode. I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know where I will belong in the basic concept of life but it’s okay because what matters is that I’m still going. It may or may not be in the direction society wants me to go, but I’m just going. I can’t explain it. It’s the feeling of not knowing what the hell you’re doing or how to get where you need to be, but still just having a greater sense of what’s going on in the world at the same time. I also want to get life over with so that I can step further out of the “ordinary” and step into a new made up world where I belong. I long to escape the Ordinary. I am forever a child at heart. I am a child but I am still more wise than I appear on the surface.
i can’t believe how deeply i understand your comment, everything about it❤️
So I am not the only one who feels 9 and 4 at the same time... sometimes it's so difficult to understand who I really am, and this makes me so sad...
I'm a 4 and 9 too and your comment describes my deep thoughts and emotions perfectly!
okay, im so confused what type i am. the test i took said i was either a 2 4 or 9. and another website said i was a 6. but i totally understand ur comment :)
I am, too, hun. I don't know who I am. It's hard because I see everything and put myself in scenerios and feel what it would feel like. That's what nines do...so...I think I at least know I'm a nine. I think..
I genuinely cried listening to this song. As a type 9 this song has been a long time coming. Ryan never disappoints but I never imagined he could capture something like this in song.
Otaku Madness he’s a nine himself, so I’d imagine this song speaks the most to him too!
Me too. Truly beautiful.
As a Nine I can say that this suddenly makes me feel so heard and seen and understood and appreciated. Words are not enough to describe this beauty. It was worth every second of waiting.
Elisabeth James how do you know if you’re a nine?? I think I’m missing something...
@@judgemental9237 There's a test I took to see which of the nine types I was! I'm not sure which one most people use, but this is the one I took and it's been reliable for my friends and I: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test2
I am a Nine and this hits like a truck, especially considering that I've been going through a huge struggle of mental health lately. Brought a tear to my eye, honestly, with how powerful and accurate it really is.
Another beautiful, beautiful song from Ryan and a Year Two that I know I'll be buying when it's available as a physical CD pack.
Keep up the good fight! You aren't alone in your struggles!!!
“I’ve been sleep walking since I was fourteen” Dad died when I was 14.. that hit real close.
Same....
My dad died when I was ten and it hit me just the same.
I’m so sorry 💔
Same... my dad died when i was 14... so this hit real close...
I'm sorry to hear that. Also replying to this now.. Just a reminder that u're loved ❤❤❤
I'm INFP, and this song's last lyrics is EVERYTHING "to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do"
I relate to this song so much..
Always trying to find meaning in this world, also I recently realized I panic when there's no reason, trying to find it on my own
When I know life sometimes doesn't go as we plan and there's sometimes no reason, but I just HAVE to know
Also I know about myself very well, but at the same time it just..doesn't feel enough?
I feel like there's still so much thing to learn about myself and the others but it's just too hard to know everything..
r
mate u seem like an awesome person!! also loving how ur an INFP as im an ENFP :D also i promise, that eventually ull get to know urself fully, it is a lifetime work, but WORTH IT!! :D have a good day!
I'm a 9 INFP too
i’m a 9 infp pisces, so i really feel this
I am a 9 and infp too- i feel this
@@sophiam4980 same
HERE IT IS!!! I know you've all been waiting for so long to hear this! I would love to hear your thoughts!
Love, TIM
TheInspirationalMind My number!! Thanks again TIM! ❤️
Absolutely gorgeous and meaningful music, I'll be listening to this on repeat for a while.
It’s so beautiful
Omg this song its so beautifull 😯😘
Sleeping is my biggest inspection. I love his songs so much. I listen to them before I go sleep, when I feel sad I cry listening to his soft voice. I don't know how I could live without his music.
this song didn't relate to me, it spoke to me
it made me feel things I hadn't felt in years and remember things I had hoped I'd never think of again. I'm not sure if I've ever been myself, I've spent my whole life being a reflection of the people around me that I might not even know how to leave it.
I want to be my own person, I want to be able to walk with confidence and talk like I love myself but I still find comfort in being the support to someone else, lifting up someone else, being devoted to someone else and neglecting me.
I step out and try to develop who I am is scary to say the least, what if I don't like who I actually am? What if me becoming my own person drives everyone away?
Honestly, thank you so much Ryan for making these songs, I've loved all of them and I'm so happy you take time out of your life to make music that touches so many people. Your music is very much a nine, and I love that
Edit 1/4/20: It's been nearly a year since I made this comment and I'm happy to be able to say I've mostly fought through the urge to suppress my personality and be a blank slate. All I want to do now is be who I am without apology and the people who will accept me will stay, I have faith in that.
To the people who liked or replied to this, I hope you're all doing well! Growing is a beautifully slow process and I ask you all to look back at who you were a year ago or more and feel proud of the progress you've made! Time always moves forward, you won't be where you are forever ♥ I promise.
Edit 21/06/21: I finally found out why I've been like this most of my life. I'm autistic, and this behaviour of moulding to everyone else was me masking to survive. Thank you Ryan for making a song for neurodivergent people, it feels so much stronger to listen to this now knowing the truth of who I am. This revelation isn't a tragedy, it's an amazing relief. Time does move forwards, and I'm not stuck anymore, learning to un-mask has been a difficult but rewarding journey. ♥
This just really spoked to me.....
theladyoflove You sir, you made a angsty teenager cry. It’s real easy to change for people just to become one of the group. We all have a voice but sometimes its hard to find it. You and all other nines have to find their own voice and understand that waiting for people isn’t the way to go. Because when were waiting for others we neglect our selfs. We never wait for ourselfs, so we become chained to the rythm, I really hope that you find your voice in this world. I hope you find love. I hope you live a life that is good and self loving. I love you stranger. Have a wonderful and independent life
🙂❤️
I'm a nine, and I mean this from the body of my heart, this is such an important message for me to hear, and it just fits. It's so beautiful and so well done, and I'm so happy I can hear it now, after coming to my home town after eight years. This song, it feels like coming back from a dream and coming home, if that makes sense. This song captures that feeling, of being lost and finally making that choice to come home. It's beautiful to hear such a feeling put to music.
April Animula yes, it’s called the enneagram.
@@snsjepwpowjdnsoaoapa861 wowww whats that? How to find out what number am i?
Min Gutierrez you take a enneagram test I used www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
Yes!! That part about coming home and waking up!! I have been really struggling trying to figure out which number I am... another nine kept telling me she thought I was a four. I scored highest on a two... and then four and nine right behind, then five, but these top ones were almost tied. And I kept having this feeling like, man, I don’t remember ever really knowing what my opinions were on things or my type... life just kind of happened. I wish I would have spent more time figuring out who I was instead of getting enmeshed in everyone else’s story (sometimes trying to “solve” drama or heal connections and so deeply sad when I couldn’t control harmony).
I can want perfection and the noble just cause like a one, love nurturing others like a two, get way lost in feelings and love expressing them like a four, go hours and hours without food on a research binge like a five, just wanna be in the moment like a seven... and maybe some three, eight and six in there too... but honestly not really know where I land. Other people I know seem so sure of their type... and so I was waiting so expectantly for this song. And oh my... it felt different than the others. Even though the others resonated! This one felt like it was coming from inside of me, or out of the pages of my childhood, or holding a mirror up to me, or simply taking my hand gently and saying, “I know.”
What a tribute, what a piece. Your music is helping us find us. I am so grateful to be alive in the time you’re writing this. Bless you friend.
As a nine, I believe I'm just starting to find myself. But I struggle to even get the concept of "myself"... I think that me, and perhaps other nines, do not really have an individual, rather several traits of other people meshed up into one. I feel like I'm always adopting traits that I see, and it can change at a simple flick of a lightswitch. I believe a true Nine's self will show in solitude, when there is noone to pick up these traits from. I this is why I, and surely other nines, cherish their alone time so much. There is no one to pressure. I feel that nines are too subconscious and supportive of other peoples feelings, so much so that even being out in public is draining. We make great support, but maybe not the best leaders.
I say all of this as I sit here alone, thinking about how difficult it would be to even think about myself, and not others, in public. It is both extremely depressing and prideful at the same time, because I finally realize that I fit in somewhere... i am apart of something indefinitely. I feel like I belong, the one thing nines strive for the most. I am a nine.
beautifully said
I’ve always told myself “I always tell people their beautiful not only because they are but because I don’t want to see them sad”
I’ve always told others standards don’t defy themselves but I’m such a hypocrite I’m her telling others to not compare when I always compare and want to be beautiful
It’s finally complete. After all this time. Of course there’s no disappointment here. 🥺❤️
"Nine"
Who am I
To say what any of this means-
I have been sleepwalking
Since I was fourteen
Now as I write my song
I retrace my steps
Honestly, it’s easier
To let myself forget
Still, I check my vital signs
Choked up, I realize
I’ve been less than half myself
For more than half my life
Wake up
Fall in love again
Wage war on gravity
There’s so much
Worth fighting for
You’ll see
Another domino falls
Either way
It looks like empathy
To understand all sides
But I’m just trying to find myself
Through someone else’s eyes
So please show me what to do
To restart this heart of mine
How do I forgive myself
For losing so much time?
Wake up
Roll up your sleeves
There’s a chain reaction
In your heart
Muscle memory
Remembering who you are
Stand up
Fall in love again and again and again
Wage war on gravity
There’s so much
Worth fighting for
You’ll see
Another domino falls
And another domino falls
A little at a time
I feel more alive
I let the scale tip and feel all of it
It’s uncomfortable but right
We were born to try
To see each other through
To know and love ourselves and others well
Is the most difficult and meaningful
Work we’ll ever do
It's a lyric video but for those who like reading their lyrics ahead like me here you go
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Ryan (the artist) actually has a podcast where he goes into great depth about everything in this whole series, he reveals so many hidden bits and little gifts. It is a masterpiece. The episode for this song is so deep and explanatory!
Wow cool fact
Can you give me his podcasts' link?
2:08
“It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes.”
2:41
“How do I forgive myself for losing so much time? Wake up.”
I was cleaning while listening to this because I thought it wasn’t going to hit me that hard, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down after that part. You put the feeling I’ve been trying to explain all my life in words. That’s the closest I’ve come to crying from a piece of media, my breath was shaky and everything
I'm the type of person who'd say these things to someone else...but forget to tell them to myself.
Hahahahaha my therapist said I do this too lol
“choked up i realise, i’ve been less than half myself for, more than half my life.”
that’s way too accurate, stop-
The line “I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life” is what started my crying messy self
As a 9... Wow...
I was waiting for this song for so long, and I'm so sad to find how depressing it seems to be. This song hit really close to home and did a really beautiful job os showing where 9s need to grow... but I found it so sad that it doesn't highlight the gifts that 9's bring to the world. If you are a 9 and feel empty and sad after listening to this... I am so sorry! Just know that you are a GIFT... you are NOT someone who has been living only half alive. One of the core struggles of a 9 is to finally value the gift that they really are. Where is the celebration of the peace and beauty and love they bring? What about the gift of seeing other people, of being able to communicate to others in a deep and powerful way? The time you gave and listened and loved was SO valuable! ... The time you gave up for others, the ways you allowed others to choose what would make them happy, was a treasure, a beautiful gift. The empathy you showed was not just to get some sort of revelation about yourself! It was coming from a heart that feels deeply and knows deeply. You can intuitively understand the pain and feelings of the person in front of you. That understanding was one of the most rare and powerful things you could have given that person in their moment of deep pain. As a 9 you bring so much to those around you!! The world needs you and the gifts you naturally bring to it! In a culture where individualism is seen as the highest and best way to live the gifts and values a 9 brings can feel diminished. Continue to bring beauty, seek truth, be a champion for peace and yes, listen to yourself and live boldly... but don't let this song discourage you. Don't think you have wasted your life!!! Who you are and what you have brought absolutely matters!! I wish Sleeping At Last would rewrite this song. Let's celebrate who we are too!!
This comment honestly made me cry thank u, I really appreciate it❤️❤️
@@ifraahhashi1867... You are so welcome! I realized that the guy who wrote this is a 9... and we often have a hard time celebrating who we are compared to others... and we really focus on making things better. I think that came out in the writing of this song without the writer realizing it... Just wanted to speak some truth over us... We are a treasure, made by God... for the world! Blessings dear!!
Sarah Bultman i know i find out by he’s podcast for numbers 9 and he spoke truthfully and you are right we are a a treasure made by god🥰
Thank you for this!! It’s a great song on where we can grow but I really love what you said and how we should celebrate who we are and our strengths too! God created us with such deep gifts and strengths that will change lives😊 Thanks for sharing
@@naomilasela4677 Oh! Yes, I'm glad you could relate. I was just so burdened for all my fellow 9's after listening to this!! I am a Life Coach and I know the struggle it can be for people trying to find direction. Often we can look at all our past work and say it was just a waste because it was done for others or to help their dreams come to pass. But even in my own journey, I've learned that the service we give out of love is valuable even if it's not building our own personal kingdom or career.
I hope you are well! Are you a 9 too?
Nines, a tip that has worked for me to break out of my barrier was removing social media from my life, Netflix, video games, from my life. Taking away the things that bring me instant gratification and replacing them with endeavors and practices based on delaying gratification for greater rewards. My mind is more free to focus in on here and now.
I listened to all 9 songs and I think, no matter what type you are, there is always something in every song you can relate to.
It's here!!! And I'm crying. Beautiful end to the enneagram journey.
"I've been sleepwalking since I was fourteen"
Bro. I don't sleepwalk, but I daydream all the time. "Fall in love again" I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be.
“Stand up fall in love, again and again and again.” 😩❤️
This has me in tears. As a nine ive felt like this for ever. I'm 21 years old and I'm still trying to figure out who I am, what the purpose of my life. Like it feels like I'm a walking blank canvas, I don't know who I am. And listening to this I realized how much I've spent just trying to get from day to day. To subsist and survive.
Idk if it just me but mines put everyone in front of them, and what do nine gets? Forgotten. And I think we are the most saddest and emotinal
don't make me cry
Was tearful less than 10 seconds in. This encapsulates me perfectly, it's going to take listening to several hundred times to fully appreciate it. Gives me hope that I haven't lost my life, but am starting to find it. Thank you for such a beautiful song that sings to so many hearts.
Me too! I've never had my eyes well up that quickly just listening to the beginning of a song. This song perfectly reflects the 9's inner world :)
OH MY GOSH. 38,300 VIEWS IN 24 HOURS!? In that same time, 380 NEW SUBSCRIBERS!? This is unbelievable!!!
Thank you so much for making this my greatest video by far! You made this happen! 😊
I love you all so much! I hope you know that!
Love, TIM
❤️❤️
this is one of the most beautiful songs ive ever heard. i am rarely moved to tears, yet i found myself quietly crying as i listened. bravissimo a million times over.
Idk if this hit anyone but when he said "But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes" I felt that.
“To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do..”
I’ve never EVER seen a piece of media or music so effectively and beautifully encapsulate the feeling of being mentally checked out for the sake of peace, for the sake of never wanting to step on others toes, and then the feeling of horror when you realize that you’ve been less than half a person all your life. This is powerful. I’m so touched. I never truly knew others felt like this and I feel like im truly ready to try and start living as a whole person, not the mold of what other people want. This song brings so much bittersweet joy to me and drives me to live more. My thanks to Ryan are endless🧡
Type 9. I needed this. So accurate, it's haunting.
"We were born to try
To see each other through
To know and love ourselves and others well
Is the most difficult and meaningful
Work we’ll ever do"Oh, my goodness. This is so true and powerful!!!
“So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine, how do I forgive myself for losing so much time? Wake up”
*that hurt*
“How do I, forgive myself for losing so much time
Wake up”
that’s so me wat
How can a song speak so much to you? I feel like this song has known me for all my life, my pains, my emptiness and battle scars.
As a type nine, this song made me feel so emotional! Absolutely GORGEOUS song, and I've been waiting for it for the longest time!! 💕💕
Hiw do you find the type?
i’m a nine and i was worried that this song wouldn’t be everything i’ve been waiting for since this series started. it was everything and more :( the “but i’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes” made me cry, and i didn’t stop till the song finished. it’s absolutely beautiful, i’m so grateful for this whole series and both happy and sad that it’s over :(💗
Have you noticed that little breath in the end? It's like the song really helped the person to wake up. What a beautiful little detail.
"how can I forgive myself for losing so much time" hit me really hard, and then the "wake up" immediately after? tears.
Ryan. Thank you Ryan. I absolutely needed this. I'm. I'm speechless. HOW? How do you do this?
From the first line, I was HOOKED. "Who am I to say what any of this means???" REALLY??? COME ON!!!!
I choked up when he said he was choked up. "I've been less than half myself for more than half my life."
"Wake up. Fall in love again. Wage war on gravity" I have to do this constantly. I don't always win.
"There's a chain reaction in your heart. Muscle memory remembering who you are" 😍😭😍😭😍😭
I'm officially a type nine, now that I've heard this. I wasn't sure before, but now I know.
Is this how all the other types felt when their song dropped? Because WOW.
This feels so 100 personal. To Ryan, because he's a nine, but also to me. And I can't believe it's over. Not just Atlas.
I mean the song as well. It's a five minute song, but I sat here nearly sobbing the whole time.
I sat here for 5 minutes, but it honestly felt like barely 3. My only complaint is that I need 20 minutes of this.
And maybe that last line lacks a little poetic cadence, but I can tell it's going to grow on me.
Also, something about this feels "classical Disney" and I LOVE it.
You've been a subscriber for a long time now and I cannot tell you how much I loved reading your reaction. You've waited so long for your type and IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! I'm literally so happy for you! ❤❤❤ -TIM
@@TheInspirationalMind I love that your channel has grown so much, and not just with Sleeping At Last Songs, but with other songs as well... and yet you still remember and care about individual subbers. You are truly legendary. I can't thank you enough for always supplying us with the lyric videos. This has to be the best YT channel ever.
💖💖💖
Atlas II has been a great ride for me. For the past year I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions, but this mans music has gotten me through everything. The music and lyrics are just so good and special, to me he deserves so much more recondition. Thank you Ryan for everything you have done for me and everyone else through your music.
“To know and love ourselves and others well, is the most difficult, meaningful work we’ll ever do”
Wow. Beautiful.
Why does every time you wanted to pour out your true and deepest feeling, you can't help yourself from crying?
Why does it feel so heavy whenever you tried to spoke your thoughts?
Why does it pain so much to share your vulnerabilities?
Why.. why does it hurt when you wanted to be understood by others? Isn't that what you want? What.. I want?
It is what I want.
But why then? Why can't you share it?
Like how I feel other's feelings, mine as well is the same. But more, and more, and more deeply. Because it grows in me. It lives in me.
I fight with it yet I cherish it.
But I can't seem to make it understandable. When I start to speak about it, I can't help myself to be flooded with all of my emotions. It stirred my heart uncontrollably. It's like it has been waiting to be free recklessly.
And I'm afraid. That something I treasure in me, didn't reach others.
- From one of your fellow 9's
Wow you should seriously be an author or a poet or something, that was Amazing and I loved that comment
The power that, “wake up,” has. Always brings me to tears
it's like this song is telling me my own life story. it's so reflective of how I feel and what I think.
"I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen."
in freshman year, I hit rock bottom. anxious and unhealthy and severely depressed, self-harming, suicidal... it was crushing me and I was really, really ready to just give up. I wanted to.
"still, I check my vital signs. choked up, I realize that I've been less than half myself for more than half my life."
through lots and lots of therapy, meds, and lifestyle changes, I became stable, at least. but still struggling immensely. being alive was hard work.
I've been alive 17 years. I haven't been myself for 10 of them. sad and quiet and always trying to be the peacemaker and not expressing my feelings in any healthy ways. and now that I'm out of it, I look back and I feel heartbroken. I want to hug my 14 year old self tightly and tell her I'm going to live to the end of freshman year. I'm going to be the lead in a play. I'm going to start playing ice hockey. I'm going to find the best friend I've ever had. I'm going to stop cutting. I'm going to wear short sleeves. I'm going to be *okay*.
"wake up."
I feel like myself, finally. and yet, like a totally different person. it's strange; this past year has been both the best and worst of my life. It ranged from performing as a lead in a play and starting to play ice hockey by working harder than I ever thought I could, both of which I had never been brave enough to do before, to losing my father to suicide. and somehow, I'm better than I've ever been. I'm okay, for once. for some reason I'll never figure out, I came through all this shit with something to show for it. it didn't break me; I somehow didn't let it. I don't know how.
"how do I forgive myself for losing so much time?"
I feel like I've spent the past four years in high school wishing for each day to be over, telling myself "just get through this week", telling myself it'll be better next month. I spent all my time wishing for it to be over that I didn't experience it at all. high school's gone, and I feel like there's so much I didn't do.
"roll up your sleeves. there's a chain reaction in your heart. remembering who you are. stand up.
I feel motivated and energetic and awake and stable. I never thought I could say that without it being a lie. it's crazy. I have a job, I graduated high school, I've been clean from self harm for almost 4 years now. I'm feeling again, I'm healthy. I'm myself - positive, friendly, compassionate. and I can say that without feeling guilty for being kind to myself. I can look in the mirror and recognize myself.
"there's so much worth fighting for, you'll see..."
for the first time, I believe it. I actually go to bed sometimes looking forward to tomorrow. I have hope, actually.
"a little at a time, I feel more alive...
I'll let the scale tip and feel all of it, it's uncomfortable but right."
day by day, I'm improving - learning how to be productive and healthy and happy and kind to myself. I'm working through my problems instead of drowning in them and keeping them to myself for fear of burdening other people.
"...to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do."
I can now be kind to people without damaging myself. I can make friends without putting myself down. I can hug someone and tell them it's going to be alright, because I *know*. I can smile genuinely at people, make someone's day just a little brighter. and that's what's important to me: helping people. peace and harmony and friendship and love. it's been hard figuring out how to do that without taking so much out of myself, but I finally got it: I had to help myself before I could help anyone else. and I did it, finally. I did it.
Being a nine isn't that nice as people think. Not knowing yourself and not knowing how to wake up... This song hits me so hard.
I am a nine, and i honestly couldn't believe what i heard in this song. I couldn't finish without letting some tears fall, who knew that after a odd test you could end up here.
“Sometimes, it’s easier to let myself forget.”
😔
Covid started when I was 14 and affected me physically and mentally , could feel it when he said, "I've been sleepwalking since I was 14"
"I've been less half myself for more than half my life". wow. That line alone left me speechless.
A Tsunami of a song hitting my Nine Sailboat, riding all the emotions and knowing someday I'll truly return to shore. Thank you.
Why do I feel like I need someone to understand me? The strong emotions I get when I think of something I miss about my childhood for example. When me and my friends share memories they always say like «Ahw! I miss those times, but when I share my feelings about it, they really do not understand.. I want someone to understand how hard it is for me to think about something I miss. Really tho, having someone who shares the same feelings.. That would be something..
Bro, I feel this. I always feel like I miss things way more than others do and I pull back on expressing those emotions cause I don’t wanna “scare people away.”
This could not be more true
@@ceciliahorner2664 i know, right!
maaaaaan I feel like he pulled these lyrics from the inner depths of my soul and as a nine, I am now crying in happy solitude
One of the most beautiful songs ever written, in my opinion.
It brings tears to my eyes that this album is over. It brings tears to my eyes knowing he is a nine, and the rawness in his voice is real. I’m a fellow two, but just knowing he sang this song and everyone before it with just as much emotion, I am forever grateful. Idk if he’ll ever see this but thank you Ryan. You saved my life. And thank you Tim for uploading this. I needed this.
this song helped me understand myself a little more. I cry every time I listen to it
the moment i saw this i clicked on it right away and as soon as he began singing i was literally moved to tears. this whole atlas year two has felt like such a journey and i feel so lucky to be able to listen to all of these songs.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart- hellen Keller
when he said wake up I imagined shaking the last real version of myself, trying to wake her up. crying because I don't even think she's alive anymore. she was so small and lively and brilliant. I miss her.
This is worth everything. The wait. The emotional rollercoaster the album’s taken us on. The tears shed and the warmth in our hearts. It’s all been worth it. No better way to come to an end than this. Thank you SAL and thank you TIM. Thank you so much.
Im a 5, and i still listen to all the songs and cry. His music is beautiful ♡
“I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life" This really struck a chord with me... tough
I feel like I'm floating when I listen to this song. I feel this differently then any song I've ever heard.
The emotion in his voice, the lyrics, the chorus and inspirational music
There’s no way i’m getting through 1 second of this video without crying. Truly a masterpiece.
i'm in tears. I've been waiting for this ever since he released one. this is such an amazing and beautiful ending to the series. it explains me so deeply that it hurts. wow. thankyou.
Thank you. I've waited for almost a year for number 9, and here we are. 10/10 started to cry.
How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?
That line hit me real hard.
❤
I’m a nine and a two and this hit hard dude. His song made me have that feeling in your stomach where your about to cry but you just can’t. I didn’t believe this t at first hit low I’m crying
To all nines, you are loved and worth every ounce of work you put in yourself.
Nah bro.... less than 15 seconds into the song IM FUCKING CRYING??? This test is no joke😔