Keaton Henson - If I'm To Die Lyrics
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- Опубликовано: 21 авг 2024
- 2019 UPDATE
I made this video a long time ago and since, it's had millions of views. More importantly than that, a large number of comments. These comments range from the appreciation of Keaton Henson's music to messages detailing hard times and loss. A lot of people who play this video find themselves feeling alone or struggling in some way. I wanted to write a message to all of those people. It seems easy enough to say, but the sentiment is genuine. You are not alone, you matter and you can overcome anything in time with the right support. Please talk to people and find the courage to carry on, whether from places online like this or out elsewhere in the world. I hope this message finds you well, and if not, that you feel better soon.
Thanks for watching, Kate
2019 UPDATE
Another Keaton Henson video! This is not my audio, credit to whoever.
Check out more Keaton Henson videos on my channel:
Corpse Roads: • Keaton Henson- Corpse ...
Mary Celeste: • Keaton Henson- Mary Ce...
Judging Books By Their Covers Lyrics: • Keaton Henson- Judging...
Thanks for watching :)
![I Promise I'm Trying - Cavetown [Lyrics]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nNpm9RUL-eM/mqdefault.jpg)
![[แปลเพลง] Keaton Henson - If I'm To Die [Thaisub]//ไม่เหมาะกับผู้ที่มีความอ่อนไหว.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/t61Pn3Uz0Kc/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m genuinely worried that some of these goodbyes in the comments are people that are really gone
This is going to come off as rude but why do you care
Jordan although we don’t know these people, they still have a story to be told and a life to be lived
@Christopher Hendricks God bless your day. More people like you need to be in this world.
@Christopher Hendricks thank you! :)
Christopher Hendricks You are so sweet and I agree with you (regarding who you like and dont) I also find it funny that you are so straight forward with your opinions. Please enjoy life, you deserve the best
I miss them
not
The people.
The memories.
Me too. For me it was never the memeories that hurt, it was the people themselves.
This hit hard, believe me when i say i know exactly how that feels
Sometimes we miss the getting to make memories with some people, but the great adventure of life is getting to make those memories in the first place and making more with others. Memories are always good, painful, gross, happy, sad, or whatever. They're always good to have because they shape us and how we live with others. I hope everyone can have great memories within the bad. And I hope I make new amazing memories every day, good or bad.
"people come and go but memories stay"
Adri R. Memento mori
Someone wise once told me, those who aren't afraid to die, are afraid to live. I felt that.
Its true
No, not to live. To live knowing we will always love the one we can't have.
and im a living example..
HAHHAHA
Oh, but my God i lived!!!! So hard, so fast!!! I lived for me, my kids, but God I lived!!!! I am totally not afraid to die, just sad at the ones who will miss me.....that hurts so bad, but we are born to die. Live hard, live fast and die kind
I'm tired of hearing that im loved..it only makes the decision harder to make.
On some level, the fact that the decision you're facing is getting harder is comforting to me. It's a decision that no one should be making, and if it's hard to make that decision, then that's kind of a good thing.
But on another level, I know that it feels like people are trying to guilt trip you into doing something that you don't want to do, that they are weaponizing your own selflessness against you. I know that it sounds like they are asking you to suffer for their sake.
Here is what I have learned.
When someone tells you that you are loved what they are saying is that they will help you if they can, that they will try to make living easier and that other thing that you feel like you want to do less and less of an option. When people love you they will certainly mourn you if you go, but before that and ABOVE that, they will celebrate you when you are here.
I love you. That means that I want you to be okay, and that I know that it feels like being okay is impossible. You will be okay. You will prosper and live a life that anyone can be proud of. When I say that I love you, it means that I will help you with that however I can.
At least people tell you they love you. That’s a good thing.
@@oXAmyCakesXo it's not about how you take that love, it's the fact that they want to keep giving it to you. If you're gone... well... they can't. It's their way of trying to tell you how much it matters to them that they are lucky enough to love you in the first place. Believe me, when someone you're used to loving leaves, it's the worst pain your heart can feel.
@@stephanieguilbert6694 that’s what I was thinking
I remember waiting for the last person left who loved me to stop caring. I couldn't do it while they still did. They didn't know but they were the only thing stopping me.
Does anyone else scare themseves about how "ok" there are about death and how bad the world is?
Yeah.. i am to accustomed to this stuff
its like you wouldn't even care if you died, its such a common thought to you, such a familiar idea, that its dread doesn't even register anymore. Its like you've lost all sense of self-worth and self-preservation and even death isn't scary anymore.
Im probably a sociopath
Me.
I would say more but you all pretty much summed it up for me..
I don’t care
Hello there, my name is Callisto but everyone calls me Cal. Thats not my real name of course, my real name is Maeve because I'm Irish. Right now I'm laying my bed, its 5am and my dad had taken to drinking again. My younger sister is asleep in the next room and right now, I'm tired. I play volleyball, I aspire to make my high school team. I'm also a dancer, I dance ballet because thats what my mom did. Of course, now my mother is an author and doesn't seem to have time for many things, but I guess thats to make up fro the years of work she missed because of my father. My parents divorced when I was 9, my sister was 6. My father never supported her writing, but he was the one who left her for another woman. My mother now lives in the same neighborhood as the woman my father was cheating with. My mother has a big house and fiancee named John who works all the time just like her. My dad lives 30 minutes away in a small house by the highway with his wife Ms.Caitlyn, they are 13 years apart in age. I have a step sister.
My dad promised me that when he got married, he would stop drinking. Of course he's tried before, when I was in 5th grade he went to a rehab for a month. It didn't help. He did stop, he's been clean for awhile, but now he's falling back onto alcohol, it's just White Claws and Limearitas, but who knows how long before he starts drinking hard liquor again? It'll be in a few months tops. I'll run out of clothes again, he'll make me eat ritz crackers with shredded cheese again because he spent food money on vodka. I won't be able to play volleyball anymore, I won't be able to dance. My life will spiral down with his again and my mother will be too busy to notice. I'll be the money pit again, the expensive child. He ignores my sister. I guess thats good? I don't want her getting hurt like I did. She needs to live. She needs to do the things I never could.
I don't remember a lot of my childhood 2nd, 3rd and 5th grade are blank for me. It's probably just my brain trying to block out things I don't want to remember. That seems to happen a lot. We got a new kitten, her names Ink. She's a calico and my mothers new object of affection. I can't remember the last time I talked to my mother. The other day I left for the pool and volleyball court to practice, as I do everyday, however I decided to sleep over at my friends house. I forgot to tell my mother before I left. I biked back to my house to pack a bag quickly and when i was leaving my mother didn't even look up from her phone. She still thinks I'm trying out for the dance team. I want to play volleyball. I've wanted to play volleyball. I have all A's and all honors courses even though I'm just starting as freshman in high school. I put my diploma for 8th grade on the fridge. My mom took it down after awhile so she could fit Ink's vet appointments.
I'm at my dads house every Friday and every other weekend. I usually sit in my room on my computer or phone. I'm a tik toker and a cosplayer. I have 13.3k followers on tik tok and 530 on insta. My username is corpus_cal. Every time I bring up my account, my father talks about his 7k on reddit. Everything is a competition, and if you know something he doesn't then you're a smart ass. He's destroyed my life before. I've nearly died of neglect. I have this nasty habit of hoarding food in my room, he gets mad at me about that. I've stopped eating meals. Light snacks do best. Granola bar for breakfast, water and maybe tea for lunch because we're on the volleyball court. Dinner is our meal. Late night snacks, maybe a pie slice or two.
My doctor has begged my mother to put me on anti-depressants before. She fired the doctor. Most of the time I have a hard time connecting with people. I call my mom 'mother' and my dad 'father'. It's formal but I have very little bond with them. My sister and I hate-love each other. I don't want to admit it but I despise her for taking away my childhood and all the attention of my parents. She was always sick with ear problems as a baby.
I really want a pet rabbit, they're my favorite animal. My favorite color is red, I even dyed my hair that color. I love scented candles, but not the ones that smell like food, the soft flowery ones. Gardenia and Jasmine flowers remind me of my childhood home. My dad sold that house and I never got to say goodbye. My cat, Callie, is buried under the orange tree there. I'm 14 and people tell me I have an 'old soul'. I like to be the mom friend, I subconciously want people to rely on me because I feel it's the only thing I'm good at.
I love going to the beach. Body boarding is amazing. I really want to learn how to surf, and to see a shark. We live close to the beach. I'm in Florida so it's always sunny. My mom hates the beach, she doesn't like sand and she's too scared to bring her computer so she can work. I have a privlidged life. I go to the top schools in Florida, I have electronics and I'm able to cosplay and openly be LGBTQ with my parents.
I'm always really tired. My dad is too, I get it from him. He used to be off medication for his Bipolar disorder, because of the alcohol. He's on them now. He takes a lot of medicine, but it doesn't help and he knows that. Sometimes I just want to sit on the beach at night when no ones there and just exist in peace.
I'm really good at art, but I'd rather be good at math. I hate art, and I hate myself for liking it. I never have motivation to do it and where will art even take me? I'd be better as a doctor or a zookeeper. Art really is so pretty though, I wish I didn't love it but I tend to see beauty in things very simple, such as a candle or a single shell covered in sand. There's a name for it, but I don't remember it.
Thanks for making it this far, I'm sorry for your time, I hope you have a good night.
2022: In March of 2021 I attempted to end my life. I now live with the scar on my wrist, it haunts me. I am in therapy, I am trying. Things just seem to be an endless spiral. I'm still tired, but I'm better. Both my sisters have harmed themselves. It's hard to see. I feel as though I'm being replaced, I can't feel much anymore and I don't have any friends, they've all left. I'm always floating but things make me happy, even if I do always feel like throwing up, and can barely look at myself in the mirror. Things with my father have resurfaced, it's believed he sexually assaulted me as a child, he used to put me in a shock collar. He won't ever apologize and I'm so, so tired. But I'm trying, so I guess that counts. I feel... angry, at the comments similar to mine, the ones reading out their lives. Why can I not have a single thing to myself? Become creative with your suffering. Part of me feels pity and the other blinding anger. Do not copy me, I beg you, it hurts me to see something so deep merely replicated, in fact, it makes me fucking sick. This is not a vent. It is my story, and by replicating it you have disrespected what I've shared. Please stop, thank you.
hey i hope ur doing okay!! all that stuff about your parents really sucks. i don’t know what to say really. your dad seems like an ass. take pride in your interests!! im sure your art is super cool + cosplaying is cool too!! you seem to be really creative. you don’t have to be good at maths and stuff - intelligence comes in different forms. you seem to be a really cool person. you got this :)) good luck and i hope things get better for you
@@hannah-ko9kj hey there! thanks a ton! ngl I'd forgotten ab out his, but it was nice to hear what you said :) I'm doing better now, and thank you so. much!
Hey girl I'm really sorry you're going through all this. Living in a toxic household takes its toll. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet but I do care how you're doing. Glad things are going a bit better now :)
i hope u okay and always be happy
Connor Stafford Keep your complaints to yourself. Some people don’t have anyone to talk to.
This was the last video my brother watched before he comitted suicide, it pains me so much to listen to this.
05-09-1994 - † 28-12-2020
RIP
He has become eternal love. We shall reunite soon
I’m so sorry for your loss, stay strong
I'm crying for you man
@Abdullah Kamal suicide affects almost every age group, depression, PDSD, and other mental illnesses can lead to suicide. This question is also very ignorant, I lost an uncle to suicide (30) . There are many reasons, but if OP doesn’t want to share why that’s ok.
@Abdullah Kamal Mental issues my friend, you can never truly know what's going on in someone's head. He was likely in a psychosis before and when he did it
I'm too scared to die. Too sad and tired to live. I can't function. I'm so trapped. I'm so done.
Then dream. I'm propolly not the right person to give you help. Bit dream, and maybe you find something to dream for. I hope you do. And then I hope you reach your dream
Me tooo
i feel the same. I wish not to feel, anything. I don't want to feel anything.
But as these pass by I'd like to think that I've only been feeling awful because time wants me to realize that there are some things to be proud of.
I'm proud of you for taking so much time and reading this, for living up to this point. I love you, human. I might no longer live by the time someone reads this comment. but this is how it works.
Nothing really works, but we like to think. and to be proud. I hate to feel. but still I love to feel.
What helped me when I reached this stage was saying to myself, "So be it, I will die trying for a better life". Let us both rise, let us both keep marching on until we are stopped. I'm thinking about you today, I hope you are well. Take care.
Same
For future visitors to this comment section:
Things are probably tough right now. Even if nobody else does, I believe in you and I'm proud in you. We'll all get through this.
Take care,
Big love x
thank you. I really needed to hear that.
@@juno5402 I hope you are doing well
thank you so much. I have a huge family and we’re all mediocre and I feel almost little to nothing cause I’ve been hospitalized far too many times since I was a kid and it’s been rough with everything going on cause even with a huge family, my alcoholic mom and older sister are the only ones who care about me a little bit more than my huge family.
Thank you.
@@breannasisler5974 thank you hun, I hope you're too
What about all those people who never left a comment?
Well... They are to be never forgotten by other people in another comment section.
I hope...
I'm not part of them anymore
@@cynzka6232 yay im proud of you!! Your doing great! Please stay strong, i love you
Wasn’t gonna leave a comment. But I guess I’ll leave a reply :)
Been holding on for a long time now. Always had an iron will. I feel it breaking over these last few years. No more sitting in silence, always noise playing. Doing something all the time to try to keep my mind from going quiet. One day I will break unfortunately. Until then I will try to enjoy what pieces of life can bring happiness.
i _don't_ want to die
this song makes me feel miserable in such a beautiful way
im waiting for things to get better, it hasn't happened yet
all i can do is wait
Same lost my apartment in 2019 become a major alcoholic got so bad that I was trying drink my self to death took me awhile to get a job now I'm I'm going to get detoxed on Wednesday. Been wanting to quit drinking for 4 years. Lost family and friend. Cause how bad let my addiction take me long story short I'm renting out my friends garage and I'm trying to get my new place. Hope u keep it up👍😊
Prayers for both of you 🙏
Hey hope you're doing well and alive 🥺❤️
I often ask how can emptiness feel so heavy!!😶
You okay now??
When I first stumbled upon this years ago, I set an expiration date for myself.
I'm 24 now, have a wife, a niece, and family that loves me. I'm free to be who I am and have not known abuse for years. I'm in therapy and realized I do, in fact, enjoy seafood; salmon is especially amazing. The only downside I can find is that, when I post this, my state's heavily affected by wildfires and the air quality is dangerous. Other than that horrible event, however, my life is good. A bit boring, a bit sad, sometimes- I'm poor, and have to be under a very tight budget- but life's been better for me lately. I wear the clothes that I want to, I eat the food that I want to, I enjoy what I want and even in the darkest days I tell myself "if I survive this, I'll have one hell of a story for friends and strangers"! Being alive is rough, but it is a beautiful experience (no, not in the flowers and sunset way; in the "books written like this are heralded as the classics" beautiful).
June 15th, 2016. I sit alone in my room. I have everything I need right with me; nobody else is home, and shouldn't be for the next few hours.
I'm only stopped by one of my dogs managing to get the door open, and have to immediately hide what I was going to use because she was trying to eat it. I tell myself that I'll just wait for another day. A few months later, I'd find what I wanted to do to myself and manage to throw it all away. To this day I don't have that in my home.
If you, whoever is reading this, feel like there is no way out and that your life must come to an end, if nothing else I implore you to wait three more days for me. In that time, if you can, eat your favorite food. Talk with your favorite people- or just your animals, up until I met my wife my pets were the one thing that kept me going so I get it- and just talk. It doesn't have to be about this. It could just be about the weather, or just checking in, or a really corny dad joke you saw the other day.
In that time, write down a list of everything you've ever wanted to do. This includes anything you, theoretically, could do at this moment, but don't have the energy to. This also includes taking a shit, if that's something you want to write down.
In that time, go over your favorite things that haven't finished yet. You might find something worth sticking around for, even if it's just until the ending.
In that time, I won't ask you to think about how everyone around you will react or anything, because we both know you're already doing that.
In that time, as hard as it is, I need you to ask yourself: What if it gets better tomorrow?
June 10th, 2017. I move in with my closest friend, a spur-of-the-moment, post-high-school-graduation decision dreamed up by a joke and miles taken maybe too far for some, and we start dating soon afterwards. One year and nearly a month from this date, I get down on my knees, a single onion ring in my hand, and ask her to marry me. She laughs so hard I swear to you she almost threw up, but she says yes anyways. We're too poor for any official marriage, and I continue what has now become a tradition among the two of us to propose spontaneously with whatever I have in my hands. She has said yes, every time; even with a garbage bag. The latest thing she's said yes to? A cold water bottle. She makes me believe that God just might be real, even if I remain an atheist.
What if things do get better, against all perceivable odds, and you just miss that window?
What if you just miss your favorite candy going on sale, or miss that cute bird in your yard, or miss seeing your pet sleep in the wackiest pose possible?
What if you miss an amazing sunset, or a particularly good breeze, or rain that hits the windows just right and makes the world look like stained glass?
What if you miss doing your favorite things, with no one else around to do them?
What if you miss a friend finally messaging you first with the funniest meme you ever saw?
What if things really do get better, but you're not around to enjoy it and enhance the lives of the people around you?
What if you miss being alive?
June 7th, 2023. The world is burning and the weather app says the air quality is 155 and the map for tomorrow shows 350 at the highest. I, in a panic, decide to play songs to help level out my mood because, despite surviving my life so far, I will always have that gallows humor and realize during the song that I likely don't die due to inhaling the smoke and ash from the distant flames. Just yesterday, I was talking with my therapist about a game called Limbus Company because I love it. When I got home, I was able to talk to my wife about, finally, actually getting an air purifier (better late than never, right?). I check in with my sister; she stayed states away back home, I'm the only one of my siblings to move anywhere far away from where we all graduated. She shows me images of my niece who is finally learning how to walk and has managed to look far less like a potato than she did at her birth one year ago. It finally fully hits me that, even with the world being literally on fire, I'm actually happy.
It's been close to ten years since I set an expiration date for myself.
I beg of you, reader, if you have made it this far;
Please, try your best to wait. Nobody knows who they'll be in one years' time, or six years, or even a week.
Please, do not give up today.
Found your comment the moment I was about to quit. Thanks, buddy. ❤
I feel like im at rock bottom, but its been 5 years and its not getting better
I am so. So proud of you.
I typed a lot. I deleted. Again typing. This is all I can say.
It doesn’t matter how much you type or how long the comment will be, there is people that genuinely care about you and want to hear about you even if they’re total strangers, for me if I feel like I’m these comments I’ve seen someone’s last words I don’t know how I’ll continue on living with myself knowing I could have done something
are you ok? hows your day? are you feeling well?
How is life? People will be there for you.
Felt
That's what I do all the time when I'm talking to others online
I’m not scared of dying I’m scared of hurting people even more.
Yeah same here
I'm afraid that my mom's life will be worse.. I don't wanna die but ... I don't feel alive anymore .. why am I still here?..
@@hellen9937 I feel the exact same way. I’m losing control but if I leave I would be to selfish and I know that her pain would be my fault (It’s also crazy we competed in the same day)
@@hattieshon4159 if you wanna talk with someone but maybe you don't have anyone .. I'll be here
@@hellen9937 Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Everynight I can feel my legs... and arm... even my fingers
... The body I've lost... the comrades I've lost... won't stop hurting... Its like they're all still there. You feel it, too, don't you? I'm gonna make them give back our past!
Writing to myself hopefully a few years in the future, Feb/3/2021 I'm currently in the hospital after a surgery for my ribs, my name is Anthony, I am 18 years old and I live in Florida, my father died of a drug overdose and my Mom is a amazing woman, my sister is my favorite person in this world and I am graduating this year, my friends are like my family and I'd would die for them and I intended on coming back to this comment and writing all about how I am doing next year.
i hope you're doing okay Anthony
Hey mate! How’s everything doing so far?
Hope your doing ok mate, make a full recovery?
U good mate
Hope you are doing well. Earth isn't a good place for innocent souls
sending all of my good wishes to you
I was standing on the ledge. The only thing that stopped me is because of my pathetic fear of heights. Stepped down and I thought of listening to something sad to cry it out. And this song is in my recommended. Probably I searched too much on how to do it painlessly and quick.
To those who doesnt have anyone by your side, believe me you do have people surrounding you. All you have to do is to reach out. Scream if you have to, just to grab someones attention. Im lucky to have someone hearing me out when I needed it the most. And its from the most unexpected places and people you learn the biggest lesson in life.
I hope this message finds you well. I hope you find peace.
I love you
stay safe and healthy
7 years... For 7 years i suffered alone. I never let myself cry. That was what my 13-year old self until 19 years old. "I will bring it to my grave", i thought. But then my situation got found out by my parents and brought me to a psychiatrist. Its been almost a year since my treatment and it felt obvious that my sadness gradually get lesser because of the treatment. So i walk out to get some air and came back laying in my bed listening to this song. I felt like crying. My usual "dont cry. are you crying, self? dont cry.." finally turned to "let it all out.. what you felt all these years.." That was my first time crying so hard in my 19 years of my existence. not even the death of my 8 year old dog nor the burial of my grandfather, i cried that much. I never saw those tears so big and many running down my face before. And its surprising to hear my own wails of cries that i never heard before. I thought to myself, if the sadness will eventually go, let me atleast let myself cry of all the times i never did.
I want to hug this song because it's hurting so bad
Floranges
I see pidge I hit like
I swear
It issss
I know right. It's the first song I've hear and tought that it really is hurting.
@@kadrikapa5855 try to hear "soulmate that wasnt meant to be" and tell me what u think
WHO HURT THIS MAN
Sofia Eve SOKO - Keaton song
Sofia Eve I DONT KNOWWWW
I think after Years of listening to his music and knowing his story with soko, it was himself, his depression, draggin himself away from everyone else.
Life did
@@moztachorocks man... same.. mothafuckin`.. question.. that.. I... had... (immediately!)
This comment section has two kinds of people. The first is the kind the people who love, the people who help. The second is the kind of people that need those things. They need love and they need help.
I've tried so damn hard to be the first kind but everything goes wrong, and I finally realized why. You can't be the first kind of person until you are no longer the second. I am not okay. I don't want to die, but I don't really care to live either. There isn't anything that I want. I'm just drifting, and I don't really have a way to stop drifting.
If you read this...find someone who loves you. Doesn't matter who it is or how they love you. Whether you know them or not, find someone who loves you and be with them. They will help.
I hope we can become loving and forgiving people to ourselves as well. I hope these six months have treated you well.
“I give, not because I have much, but because I know how it feels to have nothing.”
What about me the person who makes light of everyone's serious emotions so that you can laugh at your own sad situation for a bit
"u can't be the first until u r the second" ur so right. Im the first but I desperately need pple to do for me what I do for them. How do u find someone who luvs u? I keep getting broke? Feels like this last one took what little trust I had in others. Given me a hopeless feelin that I will never be loved. I can't keep lovin pple just for them to leave. Not just leave and still be friends but leave and be a god damn stranger...treated worse than a stranger. Fuck that
@@beckjaq3608 well that's funny
My high school boyfriend showed me this song early in our relationship. He could play it on the guitar and everything. During that 2 year long period, we both struggled a lot with our mental health. We made it through high school but it was a constant fear of mine that he might harm himself. He was my first love and he meant everything to me. I wanted him to be my husband and the father of my kids one day. Unfortunately, we broke up after we moved for college and didn’t speak really for our own personal reasons and to try to move on. One and a half years later, my absolute worst nightmare came true. On the night November 13, 2022, he committed suicide.Though we didn’t speak for a while, all of these feelings are coming right back. This pain is unbearable. We’re only 19
I wish you well, sweet heart 🐞
I just wrote my friends goodbye and ended my conversation with the hotline. And now this damn song plays.
Don’t make it harder for me to do this. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
I didn’t want to die.
edit 1 year later: i come back to this song a lot. today i decided to go to the comments. id forgotten i wrote that. when i wrote that comment i was in an extremely ab*sive relationship and after posting this comment i did try to end things. but i was taken to a hospital and got help. im almost two months clean now! and im out of that relationship and have long cut off my ex. thank you to everyone who left responses, im sorry if i worried any of you.
please keep going, you are deserving of life.
edit another year later: I’m a year and almost two months clean! I’ve been through some really tough stuff between all these edits and certainly had my struggles, and times where I almost gave up. But I didn’t, and I’m still here. I’m so sorry to everyone I worried and I want everyone who’s going through now what I was going through then- it does get better. I know it can be impossible to see, but I promise it does. You have to stick around and see it, okay? Prove your past self wrong like I did, keep fighting because it’s worth it when the smoke clears.
I dont know what to say i hope you didmt do it
i hope you’re okay. please be okay. 💖
i pray youre still here...
Love you please be here
I hope you are still with us. I love you, friend
i think i commented on this a few years ago, apologizing for everything. i have good news, i survived. somewhat
thank you for pushing through.
we love you, man. im happy you're here
im so happy ur here. im proud of u
im so so proud of u. take care kind soul.
And we are all happy you did keep going my friend you can do this
Hi. I’m Ruhie (Not my account), and I’m happy to say I survived.
When I was 11 I started to gain an eating disorder, Bulimia Nervosa, and started to have anxiety spikes left and right. I felt so alone, I felt replaceable, I felt like my only defining trait that made people like me was the fact I was a skinny, pretty, good straight A student. I felt like I couldn’t keep it, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t deserve anything I got out of life. I felt like my parents didn’t want me, that I was just another mistake. I wanted to be done, not be a burden anymore to anyone, I wanted to stop feeling so worthless.
I almost tried to kill myself at 12. At the time I felt half-dead already, I had strep-throat and would hide my medication so I didn’t have to go back to school. I felt even more alone there. After I felt like I hoarded enough pills, I decided I was going to take all of them at once. I listened to my favorite playlist, and as dumb as it sounds, after I listened to one of the last songs, ‘Asleep’ by the Smiths, I knew I couldn’t do it. I hid the pills in my bag, and cried. I cried because I hated myself, I hated my life, I hated that I couldn’t do anything right.
One year later, my eating disorder had gotten worse, I was 5’2 and 85-ish pounds. A friend ditched me to have more ‘popular’ friends, and I felt like the therapy I was getting at the time was pointless. But I also made a lot of new friends that year, realized how much I loved acting, and my mom didn’t lash out at me as much anymore. I told them about my depression, they’ve sent me to a different therapist, where I was prescribed anti-depressants.
This year. 13 years old. I grew two inches and gained ten pounds. I’m happier, my medication is working, I’m getting proper therapy, and my diet has changed. I haven’t purged in almost two weeks, and now I’m drinking more water (my vitals were so low on hydration, I could pass out at any time). Things get better. I swear they do.
❤️
Update:
I’m 14 doing a lot better, my vitals are the best they’ve ever been, and I haven’t purged in about four months. I was recently diagnosed with gender dysmorphia and suffering in a whole other area, but I want to try to keep the update hopeful.
I'm glad to hear that things worked out for you and thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure that your story can help someone want to stay strong as well.
I’m glad to hear that! That’s amazing, you can’t imagine how impressive and strong that is. Hope you only get happier and happier!
/Alexa
If you haven't heard it today, I'm so so so so proud of you
I had bulimia too when I was your age, a similar story, thank you for sharing and I love you a lot
Zara Mikaelian Thank you so much :)
It's so hard, you could plan to end your whole world, and nobody knows what's going on in your head
"Tell my almost ex-wife I loved her, and left her too soon."
I found out this year my dad wanted to try and work things out with my mom before they decided to divorce, before he passed away.
I wonder how different things would've been.
Fei Marie I know how you feel. This was my dad every day begging my mom to work things out before he passed of cancer
I’m sorry for your loss....
I'm sorry for both of your losses- honestly, you both don't deserve this sort of pain, no one does; never in a trillion, billion years, but just know that there are people who will love you, and remember you every single day. You're never alone. 💕
May they rest in peace...
I'm so sorry. Much love from Illinois.
Edit: please stay with us. You are precious. I am here for you. I care for you and for your life. I really do. 🤍 I send you love. You are not alone.
hey! im here
❤❤
Kyra Freeman Thank you so much!💓 I’m still fighting and struggling, but I have better days and better moments, things that keep me holding and holding on. Thank you!
ObviouSly_ kiwi ❤️
please stay here dude
Hi.. I hope I see this in the future..and I'm not alone anymore..
Hey, you're not alone. I can promise you somewhere, someone is enjoying the same things you like, eating the same food, looking at the same sky, and in that moment, you're connected. And one of those days, I can promise you you'll meet one of these people, who you've got this connection with. And it'll feel less lonley. But you're not ever truly alone, and it's not gonna feel that way forever, okay? Keep at it, kid
You won't be. 🖤🌼
You're not alone 🫶
I spent 20 min trying to type how i felt
......and deleted it all. They say writing it down helps, but i cant help but feel like im burdening others with my problems. And i cant do that. But i want to let anybody who sees this know, good job for still being here. You've survived for your whole life so far. Good job. I hope you have a happy, prosperous life. And we dont know eachother, but i love you. If no one else will tell you that, then i will. Please dont give up. You can do it.
Hey babe, you deserve to write how you feel here, no one will judge you or think of it as a burden. There are many brave people here who write their feelings out and I hope you will be one of them :) There are so many people with connections to this song and people who read the comments knowing that they will find emotional statements from many different people.
I hope I don't come off as preachy, but writing out your feelings always help, at least yourself to understand who you feel.
Best of luck to you
I felt the same i cant even tell what im feelig anymore
"Tell my friends that I didn't dare earn there respect"
Their
@@GabrielaGonzalez-zm4ny please leave
@@people6117 *Fuck off, please. @silverseen Please leave.
Reclusion no one like you, you unwanted sack if garbage*
Can u guys chill out please? I'm sure Gabriela Gonzalez was just informing rock candy003 of their mistake so they could edit it if they wanted. Smoogirl was probably just annoyed at everyone else's harsh responses.
This hurts
An edit: 3 years later. I struggled hard with depression for two years. I was miserable. I made other people miserable. And then, I got better, and I got better by deciding to. It was, and is, tough work every day. I have bad days. I have bad weeks. But i’m here as proof that trying works. Fight for yourself back, it is worth it every day when I experience something new. When I got in to my dream school. When I got my drivers license and took my little brother out to get ice cream. When I can have dinner with my friends.
I crawled myself out of my depression for the life worth living. And I promise you can too. Talk to someone. Get help. Stop letting the hurt consume you. And when you struggle, take a breath, and try again.
Jones how are you Jones?
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I don't know you, but I am very very proud of you. I also crawled out of depression. Every day is still a battle, some easy to win, some very hard. But we fight and we will make it. :)
Thank you for those words.
Jones you really inspired me, I have been struggling with depression for over 5 years now. I have my ups and good periods in between, but in the end it never seemed like anything I did mattered. It still doesn’t seem like anything I do matters, instead of being a student, friend and daughter I have turned into a problem and it seems like all my dear ones are suffering. I want to help them but it feels like a shot in the dark. I hope that one day I’ll end up somewhere along the lines of what you just described. Thank you for sharing your experience and giving me back a little bit of hope.
Thank you Jones, I sadly can relate
Anybody thinking of taking their own life, I don't know if you'll see this or if it will have an impact, but I once read the words of some stranger on the internet pleading that people look for anything that could make them want to live for any amount of time longer. If you want to die today, think of something you're looking forward to next month, next week, even just tomorrow, even just an hour from now. Think of someone's smile who you know will make you laugh tomorrow, think of a movie you want to see, a sequel or a webtoon update, anything to keep you going until you are through it or you are able to find someone who can help you.
When I read what that person said, I scoffed. I didn't think it would work, but last week I was on the very edge of just ending it, I was just so done. You know what saved my life? I had just gotten a new book from my favorite author, and I saw it on the bookshelf. Since then, that book has been my lifeline. Each time I think of ending it, I think of that book, and when that doesn't work, I think of the next book, all of the books and series I will miss if I die today. This may not work for everybody, but please at least consider it, at least try. It doesn't have to be big, it can be a shirt you know is coming in the mail, it can be literally anything as long as it helps you.
For whoever is reading this:
I’m proud of you. You’ve gotten through so much, and you’re still going. That takes a lot of strength and courage. You are never alone, there’s someone going through something what you are going through.
You got this!!!💕
Yeah I'm proud of myself
My friend played and sang this to me a few years ago. I knew he was struggling, but since he ended his own life, I keep finding this song again, be it in my recommended or when I'm going through RUclips letting it autoplay, it keeps popping up and I cry almost every time it does.
Your friend wants you to know you're loved & they miss you, but will always be there. 💞💕
I'm so sorry for your friend, I hope that you are doing better nowadays. Stay safe~
I want my family to play this at my funeral . . .
Susana dies at the end of the story same
Susana dies at the end of the story but you wont die in a long time. Nobody will let you die early. Stay alive please. I promise. Its worth it. Okay hun?
Wow for a minute I thought you guys were talking about the plot of a movie
Nathanael Gagnon you were not the only one
Susana dies at the end of the story! Your name is so funny. I love your comment and yeah I also have a music channel please check it out and subscribe. Have a wonderful day.
Rest in peace to my Fiance. I miss you so much every single day. You made my life so much better. I'd never laughed or felt so good in my entire life.. Then I met you, my soul mate. I hope you are well wherever you are.. I can only hope that you are no longer suffering. I know you're still holding my hand... I can still feel you there.... Please don't ever let go, and hold ever tighter when I step in the door to your world..
🌹 03/23/97 - 10/18/20 🌹
I guess around 5 years ago this was one of my favorite songs, I wanted it played at my funeral and I wanted to “leave”. Today I’m so fucking happy, there are people in my life I’m so happy with. And I live for myself as well. My own goals and ambitions and passions. I would listen to this on the bus ride from school and look at the same boy and wish he would talk to me and I could open up to him. Well now we’ve been friends for 5 years, and dating/bestfriends for over 2 years. And we’re both so happy together. I want to live my life to the fullest. Now I’m afraid to die, I want to exist and hold on to those I love.
This song doesn't get the attention it needs...
None of his songs do.. That is the sad part of our humanity. He is an amazing person... I am sad he doesn't know how many of us like him..
perhaps attention isnt something all of us crave
Emma Meijer but he deserves so much more appreciation for his music than what he receives
He doesn't really like attention.
beautiful things don't ask for attention
i write you here: hi hello. I don’t know who you are but I love you. how’s your day? what did the sky look like today? how big is the moon? what’s your name ?
That's so sweet omg
My names aliyha. The sky today looks bright and happy but the moon looked sad last night I'm not sure why. My day was ok, its filled with arguments, but mostly they weren't talking about me (finally) Sometimes I feel like there's a better place I can go. The place I'm at is great, but not always and I know if I leave I'll never get it back so I dont. If the clouds drew over the sun I wonder how many people would be upset about it. The sun shining down on their face, feeling the crisp on their skin, and then they see a shadow on the ground inching toward them and then bang. They feel a breeze come in and they just sit there, waiting for the sun to come back, but the moods already ruinedd. In some ways that's our lives. Some people always have clouds while others always have sunshine. Others have a mix of both. Have you ever felt what its like to not been able to breathe? It feels like everyone's staring at you while you collapse and it doesn't even hurt. It's a subtle pain that aches in your heart and stings in your chest. But for some reason the only thing you can thing about is the fulfillment if breathe. You dont care about the pain, but how good it finally feels to take that big breath. My names Aliyha TonePahHote and I sometimes can't remember that, so if you've read this far I would like to ask you one thing: will you please remember my name?
Edit: actually I'm still here for now. But again please remember my name
Hey, thank you for leaving this comment. My day isn’t going to well but it’s better than the past few days. I’ve been friends with this guy for two years and our friendship has only gotten stronger. I’ve had a crush on him since I met him. It’s been killing me so I finally told him that I liked him three days ago. He doesn’t feel the same way. Even though deep down I knew he didn’t, it still hurt, still hurts. We’ve agreed to stay friends. My great uncle died in a fire yesterday. And today I’m not sure what life is going to throw at me, but so far I’m listening to this song silently crying, trying to make sure no one can hear me so I don’t have to be a burden on them. The sky is gray and cloudy today, the sun is barely shining through. I didn’t get to see the moon last night. My name is Mindy and I hope you have a great rest of your day, thank you for spending your time reading my comment
Thank you for writing this , at least you tried to make it better
Hello, well my day is pretty good actually it's finally sunny after all those rainy days sky was beautiful through the day it was ocean blue and then it was dancing with colors its like painting from Bob Ross moon is big and bright and great company it makes me be excited for tomorrow and my name's Nina. How's your day?
To all those reading this.
I'm glad u woke up today. I'm glad ur alive. I had depression when I was 10-11. I have undiagnosed adhd (I have most, if not all, of the symptoms but havent went to find out if I have it or not.) I lived through days telling myself that I'm disgusting and ugly. I lived through days where I tried to kill myself. I lived through days where I felt like I was worthless. But I lived. And I'm still living. Not because I failed so many times that I just gave up, but because I told my story and let all my pent up emotions out. Whether it be online anonymously, to a friend, or to a family member, tell someone. If ur going through rough times right now, dont give up. I'm here for u. I might not know all of the struggles ur facing right now, but I'll listen. Reply or post a comment on this video. Tell someone that u need help. It's ok not to be fine 100% of the time. I'm here. I love u. Talk to me.
It's like everyone here was depressed at 11-10
hi, my name is meg im 15, today is the 28th july 2021. if im reading this again, well done you did it you made it, you broke your promise tho it was supposed to end. right now it is 12.57, you just got a message from him, youre talking about music again obviously. i hope you still know who i mean when i say him. you came here listening to music that makes you numb, not that you need much help with that. youve been staring at your ceiling for 4 hours now waiting for tears but they wont come, you havent cried for a while now, the last time you did it was happy, it was because you didnt want to leave, you wanted to see the rest of your journey. will thought he made you upset so comforted you for the rest of the walk, all the 10k of cliff edge untill you got back.
you havent felt much recently you think you should feel pain but you dont only frustration, mum has just been diagnosed, its cancer. her surgery is on friday. you know you should feel pain but somehow you dont.
you are still horse riding but you dont seem to be going anywhhere. youve lost all motivation. you dont even want to see your friends anymore, that hurts. everything is half done, you havent finished anything, you think it could be partly adhd but you arent sure, if youre still around get help for it you do need help dont lie to yourself. youve started eating again its difficult but your doing it, some people know but they arent doing much. he doesnt know abt this sort of thing you think you should tell him, he would help, but its only been a few months. you want to run away somewhere but you know you cant get out of here, you have nowhere to go and no way to get there. you pick up hobbies for about a week then when you cant be amazing at it straight away you give up.
you are struggling with what you think is gender dysphoria. you pronouns atm are they/she/he, but you are feeling very masc atm, you identify as non-binary but you arent really out. you dont want to be a boy but you want people to be so confused when they first meet you they think 'oh pretty boy' at first but you dont want to be 'handsome' you want to be pretty in the same way boys are. you still want to wear dresses but sometimes you want to wear a suit. and you havent stopped wearing your docs since you got them, they are the best shoes ever honestly i hope you still have then. you pact with the girls is still on. campfire funeral, and a journey to find purpose after.
you might go surfing with him in the summer if she doesnt get him first, she will but we can always hope. you think you are annoying your friends talking about him, but its the only thing that makes you happy any more, not that you love him or anything, he just gets you, dan has dipped again. you cant remember what its like to be truly happy, but then you cant remember what its like to be sad either. just when it was getting better too, you saw reason for the first time in ages, a purpose. your teachers are leave bc of you new head, no one likes him anymore, he expects too much, and sexualises every party of a girls body.
thats all i can think of right now. so goodbye you might see this again. hope youre a milf now :) xx
I hope you made it
a few years ago one of my best friends played this song as we were going to bed. we were laying in the dark, getting in our feels. i knew the song she was playing and i turned to her to tell her. we talked. i asked her how she was and we fell asleep with it on repeat. 2 weeks later when my mom picked me up from school she told me my friend had attempted. it was alarming, i was worried i wanted to see her right away. i'm so glad she made it..she's surviving now. she's actually living these days. and she'll be having a baby in december. everytime i listen to this song, i'm reminded of that moment. the moment i thought i lost my best friend.
10-11-21 it’s been a wild wild wild ride for my friend….she’s been through so much and i have done everything i know how to be there for her. she’s in the hospital right now…fighting for her life that she tried to take, again. i found myself listening to this song and amazingly saw my comment…things aren’t looking good this time..but i refuse to give up on her.
How is she, and the baby? Is everyone doing okay?
@@SuperThumb_PNG god..it’s actually the saddest thing. her 4 month old baby passed away May 2nd this year :(
@@caitlynnnicholle9963 I'm so sorry, I hope your friend and her partner are processing this together.
I’m crying. I’m so happy for both of you
@@caitlynnnicholle9963 I’m so sorry. I hope everyone is doing okay and dealing with this as well as you can. I’m so sorry
My best friend passed away last year
Yesterday was his birthday
He didn't commit suicide, but this song reminds me of him so much, and I always come here to listen to it whenever I think of him
I miss you so much, hope you are sleeping well
I'm sure he misses you to. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope your doing well. I'm glad to see that he had a good friend there for him though points in his life no matter how long or short it was. I may be a stranger but I hope your doing well and I wish you happiness and good luck.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that he’s happy and peaceful wherever he his now. ❤️❤️
I just lost my friend to suicide, if anyone is thinking of leaving, following her, please don’t give up. It’s impossible to convince someone it will get better when they’ve only known pain, but everyone who feels this way is strong, you’ve made it so far, please don’t leave. I know I’m a stranger online, and I can’t promise life will be easy from this moment onwards, I’m just asking you fight as long as you can. If anyone has lost a loved one, if you believe in life after death, I beg you ask them to look after her as I no longer can
You're an angel 💜 I hope you are doing good and im so sorry for your loss :(
I am not scared to die, I feel like it's a peaceful solution for this pain, injustice. I imagine it as ethereal peace, stillness, no impressions any more, no more wickedness and powerlessness,no more false hope, just the truth: peaceful stillness in nothingness
But we'll be dammned to hell dude
This song doesn't really remind me of death that much but that fact that I'm so lonely and that I'm actually scared of dying alone
😥
I'm not scared to die alone because if no one will see my death no one will be sad.
@@Helen01101977 holy fucking mood. This is literally the same thing for me
No one can blame themselves for not saving me from my death if they're not there when I do die
But if you won't end your life right now, you can find people to be there when fate has taken your life. Please try to find someone who wants to help you out and loves you so much! (aside from me) Have some hugs! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Have you ever loved someone so much you subconsciously took their personality and embodied it into your own to the extent you didn't know how to differenciate one from the other? And when that person left your life they took all that with them and left you wondering who you are without them?
I do not know how that feels. But, are you okay? How are you, today?
Oh my god.. that's what happened to me
Yep.
@@KIYOKO_006 I have my ups and downs but I'm still here and want to be here for as long as I can.
Yes
this comment section has been my safe place for the past months so if ever you read pls stay with me here, even though you can't find any good reason at all just know that i'm also here, stuck in the same situation but pls choose to stay
Sometimes all we need is just a big hug. That feeling of comfort even for a small bit makes a huge difference. Find someone right now and tell them exactly what you want. You got this☺☺☺
'but i fear there is nothing but sleep'
As soon as he said that I seen your comment
Anything is fine with me
Isn't that just sad? My fear of dying isn't because of being alone but the fear of there's nothing after death
Sometimes I think about how dreams are my only happy place and then I don't mind if I had to die, if dying is like sleeping for ever
You guys! I don't know how you fell into this darkness but here are some hugs to pull you out of it. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
You can do this! I belive in you! You are such lovely people, it would be terrible to have a world without you.
We are just a big family in comments.
I wish we could all meet irl and have deep conversations about everything we are going through. I wish we could tell each other how precious everyone is.
thatd be wonderful
I agree with you
That would feel so good
I really need that right now.. I'm going Insane. That sounds really nice.
Nah that would be the most gay thing I could think of doing and I've had some pretty sus thoughts
i have had two failed suicide attempts, my last one left my arm paralysed. I use to work as a support worker and always remember this old gentleman who was so warm and kind saying that he is ready to go. I never really understood this but now living with personalty disorder, bipolar, depression and anxiety for over 15 years and waking up every morning to feel disappointed that I'm still here I finally understand those words. Sometimes people can't be saved.
I feel like this song just appeared out of nowhere when people needed it the most. I was just going through RUclips looking for something to watch after a bad day. realizing that the medication I have stopped working, and I felt anxious and down again. No energy to actually do anything. I wasn't in the mood to bother my parents again, with my complains about not seeing the point in anything, or the small feeling in the back of my mind telling me how nice it would be to just stop existing. After listening this song and reading the comments I felt little bit better, so thank you for that.
You should probably stop bothering your parents with those pointless questions it's only gonna make them tighten there leash on you dude
To myself 4years ago who found this song when it had 400 views. Hey hun. I’m glad you didn’t do it. I’m so proud of you. xo -your better-self
Damn, reading this one made me tear up and made my head hurt more lmao
I would've been like you me from the future glad you didn't burn anyone's hope for salvation through the majority to ashes here
i know you won’t find this comment but i am so happy you’re alive. holding you close, planting little kisses on you is what living is supposed to feel like. i think i’m in love with you.
Thank you, my friend! I hope your days are well :)
Mmmmm no you're not🙄😬
Remember: You dont want to kill you. You want to kill something inside you.
Yea, my fucking brain for making me depressed
So you can see the hand goblins as well
@@2mono7 same me 2
That is such a beautiful way of putting it. I never thought of it that way, thank you.
yup, and? it's not like i'll ever part from this disorder. it's just the same thing after all
I don't want to go just yet but svicidal thoughts keep popping up in my head..even more so lately.. i made a little plan already but I won't die just yet.. I don't really wanna die, I'm just tired or living..
i am currently happy than I'll ever be.. after over 20yr of suffering repeated traumas since childhood..and I've experienced so many lost be it death of my older sister,my beloved dad, abandoned by my mother and older sister who promised we'd be together always, thus leaving me alone thrown all over the place tryna fend for myself..and all kinds of abuse I've endured..
at 25, I'm finally able to feel genuinely happy, i learn to draw again ,i started doing whatever i love doing, I'm learning a lot of new things ,i have a really great friend, who is the sole reason I'm even alive.. I'm so glad and happy..but the only thing that kills me is knowing she'd be the one to hurt the most if i were to die, what if she follows my footsteps.. I don't want that..
I'm so happy with her ,but my mental health starting to deteriorate again..
instead of a suicide letter make goodbye note, so you can say goodbye to ur past self! happiness won’t come easy but we can do this i promise
edit- i’m so fucking grateful. i’ve recovered. i no longer have B.E.D, i can get out of bed, i actually take care of myself now.
True true
I actually did something like this. I wrote an apology letter to myself for all the constant self destruction
Congrats it’s good to see people talk about how they’ve healed
shit I wish, had major depression for 16 years now lol
good on you for recovering mate :]
you ever just feel your heart ache so badly you can't breathe?
Yes homegirl yes
Yes
I was at my lowest point 2 years ago. I was severely depressed and couldn't get out of bed, felt like I had no one, and struggled with an eating disorder. Within the past year, I have made so many new friends and started living for myself. I sometimes still struggle with my eating disorder but I try my best to recover. Sometimes I feel like I should go back to my "old life" because it was easier but I always choose not to now because of the pain I felt then. Recovering can be hard, but it will be worth it, I promise. You only get one shot at life and you might as well make it one you love. I want people to know that life is worth living, even if you don't feel like it is. Life needs you.
Reading this comment section while listening to the music.
I’m happy for those who are cheering others and sad for those who are going through rough times.
I can’t say much because I don’t know what to say. It’s always been like that for me because I don’t really know who I am.
Though, please continue doing whatever you are doing and I hope you all have a wonderful day.
it can't be coincidence that I found this song today.
+J/Aria D I'm worried about the meaning of this comment. You're alright?
Haven Barrow I've been having major issues with depression and anxiety recently and it's putting a huge strain on my relationship of six years. It's like there's not a day that passes without me considering suicide at least once and I feel like this song explains a lot of how I feel at the moment. especially the part that says "im scared that you'll know what to do, if I'm to die before you," because i have the constant fear that my death may end up meaning nothing to my significant other, even though I know he loves me and he cares about me. So no, I'm not ok, but maybe I'll pull through it. I guess only time will tell.
J/Aria D
Relatable.
J/Aria D I hope you're feeling better; and I know we don't know one another and may never, but if you feel no one else cares if you live, know that I do. your life is worth living, if for no one else, do it for you. please don't take your life, people do care.
J/Aria D I know we're all strangers but the fact we've all commented shows we care about you, just as I'm sure everyone else in your life does x
I always read comments on songs like this and I always wonder what’s happening on the other side of these comments. Each commenter has a story, has stuff going on, has things going on around them. So I’m case your wondering it’s 11:00 at night. I’m sitting in my bed in the dark. I’m on the first floor of my dads townhouse. My dad isn’t home and my little sister is asleep upstairs. And right now I just feel tired .
edit: hey guys, i wrote this comment about 6 months ago. damn how time flys. at this point i’ve gotten 530 likes on this comment and 40 replies. ive never gotten that many on any comment. so if your still reading or still care what i have to say. i’ll let you know it’s 11:00 at night (again lol) and i’m in my room at my moms house. i’m laying in my bed with the fan on. the door is cracked open and light is spilling into my dark room. my sister is in the next room over. speaking of her she said something that really warmed my heart today. anyway i send you all lots of love through this phone screen
It’s 1:06 am for me and I’m sitting in a 1998 Toyota Corolla by myself in the parking lot of my house, reading these comments. I just got back from my boyfriends house, where I cried and he hugged me and we talked about how I always “seem down” and how he just wants me to be happy. I just feel tired as well.
it's 8:59 pm for me as i'm writing this. i'm currently decorating an envelope that'll soon hold a letter inside of it for my girlfriend who lives far, but not too far, away. i'm upstairs in my room at my desk that is too small to hold all of my art supplies on top and inside of it, listening to this song and truly understanding each lyric. i hope all is well and that you don't feel so tired anymore
so emmm now it's 8:04 pm laying on my bed around some books trying to get over some ppl feeling how such hypocrite I am for telling some of my friends how to be happy nd after that closing my door nd start crying......anw coincidentally I find this sad song but what makes me more sad those comments here I hope I can help everyone here 💭 find u're self
Its 11:24 p.m., laying in my bed contemplating things.
Its 5:48 am. Im sitting in my fiance's bed bawling because hes changed into a man i didnt want to marry. Im leaving soon to get him with rashes under my eyes from tears falling for hours on end. Im only freshly 18 and im just tired. of everything.
Times are tough, but so are you
Fuck man, I wish I could give a big long hug to every single one of you here. This comment section scares me because like the top comment said, I'm scared that some of you are actually gone. It was really eerie scrolling through the hundreds of comments at 2AM a few days ago when I first found this video. Idk if you can see this but to those who are gone, I'm sorry life got this bad that you thought the only solution was ending it all. I'm proud that you at least made it this far. I don't know you, but I wish you were still here today. To those who are still fighting, I'm so proud that you are still here by my side. I can't be completely certain that everything is going to be ok because I don't have all the answers I'm just a depressed teenager on the internet, but I'll be cheering you on. If anybody sees this I encourage you to take care of yourself. You don't have to make any big changes yet, start with baby steps
For my daughter. Mommy loves you so much. Please know I never left you. THEY made me leave you. They stole you from me. I promise if its the last thing I do I will make them pay for stealing our life away. Mommy is still here baby girl. Please find me. Please don't believe the lies they will tell you about me as you grow. Mommy and daddy FOUGHT LIKE HELL. Our only fought.... Was not having as much money as the people your with now. Money was the only thing that would of saved us. Im sorry. Your almost 5 now. I still get to see pictures and watch you grow from the screen I hold in Palm... What they choose to show me. It hurts like hell. Even tho your not with me your with me in my heart everyday. The 2 year old baby girl they ripped from my arms will never die. She's growing up so beautiful. Im proud of you. Even tho I don't know that much about you anymore. Your the only thing keeping me alive.. You and your baby brother you don't know you have.. That THEY are trying to steal from me too. They won't win. One day you will want to know the truth.. And that... That's the day im remaining alive for.. To show you the REAL TRUTH. I have all my paperwork and evidence waiting for you beside your Christmas presents you never got to open. My first and only baby girl... Mommy loves you. Not a second of a day has went by that I don't think about you. I'll never forget you. I'll be right here where you left me.. Waiting for you... However long it takes. 💔😥😢😭😫😧
you’re gonna get through this, i believe in you, and don’t ever, ever give up, i might not know you, but i love you.
I am aware that I am a year late but are you ok now please stay with us it gets better just please don’t give up just yet
I might be late to see this, but I hope you’re fine now. I hope your life isn’t as murky and the water cleared . I hope you got to see your daughter I hope you’re alive and healthy.
i know you will get her back someday, dont lose hope and know that there is always sun after the storm
Please don’t leave your daughter... that’s a hurt that nothing can heal... just please...
I was gonna save this song because it’s so beautiful... but honestly I never want to hear this song again, i hate how it makes me feel.
Same. I couldn't listen past the first minute.
I don’t, but you do you
Since there's nothing on the other side, there's nothing to be scared about. I don't know why we humans fear death so much... Shouldn't we be scared of life instead?
Living is joy but it's pain as well, living means facing what is real while dreaming with what is not. Living can be a walk along the beach with the sea kissing your feet but it can be a nightmare from which you don't know how to wake up.
I've cried myself to sleep many times and I've loved so much that it felt as if someone was driving a stake through my chest. But I've laughed and I've wished that this life would last forever while looking at the eyes of the ones who love me.
Living is an act of the brave.
Wrong joy and pain is all something humans feel so the absence of it would be really fucking weird
Waking up in the morning is enough to be proud of.
Stay proud dudes
I love that you can hear the cars on the street passing and honking in the background. and the breathing into the mic. It adds a beautiful touch to the song. like living your daily life and you never know when you will be gone.
It makes it wholesome real legit and emotional
I've been in love with my best friend for almost a year now. She's taken and there's nothing I can do but wait. If I die before I get to love her, I hope to leave her something this beautiful.
Christian Skog damn man
Christian Skog Same here. Except that I love someone that I never talked to before. Me and him never spoke to each other, but I still love him. And I would be devastated if one of us die, because then I never would have told him how I felt, and he would have never known.
Asuna Gumdrop how can you love someone if you never talked to them?
The Optimisten I don't know... I guess its just everything they do.
me asf except ik he doesn’t like me and he likes this other girl who i’m friends with
i remember listening to this song 3 years ago when i was 12, wishing i would die. On January 19th 2021 i made it 3 years longer than i thought i would. i made it :)
so so proud of you
I'm so proud of you!
I'm so fucking proud of you and every day you keep going on. I know you can make it
Part of me just wants to fade away from this world and leave it all behind
to anyone who’s here recently, please don’t go. you haven’t experienced anything more that a droplet of your life that is an ocean. this life is so long and there’s so much to experience because what good are the highs if you never experience lows. before you know it everything is going to be okay again. you’ve survived 100% of the bad things in your life so don’t stop now please.. even if you don’t think things can get better, be curious of what’s to come in the future. we all die in the end so just delay yours. enjoy things and don’t rush.
there are so many small joys in this world you’ll miss if you pass on. think of your loved ones, loved ones you can make if you stay alive.
I've experienced a quarter and thats enough
When I'm depressed I tend to listen to sad songs. Somehow they make me feel less alone.
It's getting worse for me but I still hope I can cope with it, tho it is really heavy sometimes and makes me wanna just... end it. I already have a suicide attempt behind me and God knows how much hurt it caused to the people I care about. But sometimes this mental pain I feel is so unbearable I don't know how to breathe.
I can't really talk about my feelings to anyone because I can't describe them, I don't know how. My therapist with every visit prescribes me more doses of medicines that doesn't really change how I feel. I'm still trying. I've gotta try. So do you.
I don't have the type of family who appreciates my work. I use to build up to their standards only for them to knock me back down. Credit will go to my brother or its not Christian therefore its bad. I've had these ridiculous standards set on me to the point when I stood in the middle of a busy road trying to get run over and the person stopped I broke out and sobs. I'm doing better now. 5 suicide attempts I'm not proud of. The only reason I stopped is cause by this point I was allowed to have youtube and suddenly I could listen to songs that told me how I felt. That spoke to me. Then I meet a person just the same as me and started cheering them on. Made them feel good complimented them with all the compliments I ever needed. I found a community of Christians. I found a community in lgbtq+ everything suddenly changed. And I wasn't alone. Somedays though I think back to the days I was alone. I didn't have friends that cared. I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue I was lesbian. I didn't know God. And all I can think of is the time I tried to get run over by a car. Every person who understood cared so much. My first suicide attempt they walked me home and told me what to do when you have a panic attack. The second explained depression. The third told me to be safe. The fourth told me to take time for myself. The fifth.. was myself. Suddenly after I had slipped out of the rope I ran to the bathroom terrified of myself. And I stood there looking at the mirror till I could explain everything I thought was good or good enough about myself. Be kind to yourself. Take time to take care of yourself. Don't let anyone tell you your not worth it. And make sure to take deep breaths. The pain one day will get better okay. I promise. Don't lose it all..
Hey. I know it's hard. I know sometimes it becomes a lot. And I know I don't know you. But despite all that I want to tell you that I'm proud of you. You are trying and that is amazing. And as long as you keep on trying, eventually... Even if it's hard, I'm sure someone or something will come around that will make things so much better. But until then. Thank you, for breathing even if it's hard, trying even if it's to much and for doing your best so far.
Good job
@@SterlingSilver2348 You too. Take care of yourself. I know I go into comments like this one whenever I'm not okay as well. So just in case, Keep living.
Hey, thank you for sharing your story. It made me feel less alone. I am trying to get better to. I hope you are doing better, or that you are still trying
Have your days gotten better?
I’ve been listening to this since I was in the 7th grade and I’m now a senior and I’m still bawling.. I can’t believe I’m still here after everything it’s getting so hard to stay, keep making beautiful music
I listen to this still this day after my Ex wife to be died over five years ago from cancer. She told me on her last moments was that she wanted me to listen to this before her funeral. I grew up with her and she was going to be my forever. I had already asked her to marry me once she had beaten cancer even though we were both 17, but we were turning 18 in just a matter of days. We both made plans, but sadly she passed. I will always love her and cherish her memory.
I've recently discovered this song due to the early sudden passing of my best friend just a month ago (5th of May). No goodbye, no nothing. I found out from his mom. We lived in different countires and planned to meet this summer. We've known each other for 4 years. And now... I hope I'll see him soon.
💛 Please don't go just yet, keep striving for the sake of your best friend because they'll hope you to live a great life, it may be painful, but know that scars can heal and you'll have other great people in your life and great achievements, please, it will get better, trust me 💛
your best friend wouldn’t want that. it gets better, i promise you, and you should stay alive to see all the good that’s coming for you, for at least his sake. he wants you to have the happiness you deserve. it will come to you and you will see so much improvement in your life. stay strong dude, you can do it
I hope you’re still here. You deserve happiness I promise and your friend would not want you to feel this way and follow in their footsteps. If anything, please live the life they couldnt
I am living through the exact same event, but let's live together, for the ones who couldn't.
All these comments I've been scrolling through are making me cry.
So here's the only thing I am good at when trying to say it is okay:
Unlimited Bear Hugs to all who are struggling, you will make it through the tough time(s) that you may be facing, I believe in you all!
~Love Nyix
Thanks for being great and you and take a hug yourself from me ok?
Such an odd name
Thank you
i don't want to have to miss anyone. if you're seeing this, please don't go. please stay. please.
this song never fails to make me cry, it just brings back too much bad memories and i'm too tired... way too tired
Skylar, I know you'll never find this message. But I hope you call me one more time before goodbye forever. I just want one last "I love you." One minute of loveliness. I want one more minute of what I'll never have again.
Update to those who care:
I got that moment I wanted. And it was worth the pain. But he's gone again. And I'll never be the same.
I'm so sorry
.... :(
.
Ok
*I love you* - To whoever this effects most coming from me.
I love you too honey
thankyou
You don’t even know how much this means, you are an amazing person. Thank you for being here
I don't actually want to die. I know how much people I'd hurt. I'm in so much pain. The only thing keeping me here is him. I feel like no one actually cares about me. I'm so tired. I want to say goodbye. Just not yet.
I'm just thinking, if i'll ever get rid of depression and anxiety, it follows me my whole life and I'm so scared it will never leave me alone... talking about leaving I'm saying hi to all my friends who just somehow disappeard from my live, I'm really sorry it ended this way, i miss you but you hurt me and don't even care and I'm tired of pretending that nothing happend.
Hope ill make it to the future where ill read this and be like poor past me but you're still alive and happy girl! And if not than i guess that i should say good bye fight this world without me ❤
No comments because none of this makes since but they upvoted it out of respect
I'm really losing it. . 2 months quarantined in an apartment alone, cutting all connections with friends and family, daily visit of depression, anxiety, self hatred, I'm really losing it.
hi. I know its really hard right now and it may have been for a long time but please stay strong and reach out. you can do this. you have survived all of your bad days. stay strong.
It’s hard right know and everyone is going through the same thing just know it will end eventually it may not be for a while but . Stay inside to save lives , please know that we care foryou and your family does too . We all miss each other , but it’s for the better
I know it's hard. To be alone with barely any support. I'm so proud of you for fighting this long. I won't ask you to keep fighting but I hope you know how much your life matters. Not just to those around you but to yourself.
You might not love yourself right now but I hope one day you'll look at yourself and say I love you.
I may be a stranger but I'm there if you ever need to vent or just talk.
I also have discord if you want to do it privately as well.
Hey, if you want someone to talk to I’m here
U aren’t alone :)
I’ll probably never do it. But I’m worried that I’m more scared of growing up than I am of dying. And whenever I reach out and ask for help I get told that I’m being overdramatic and just wanting attention. I don’t know. I’ve thought about it for years now. I guess I’m just waiting for the right time.
Froggy Universe things are harder in person but there always lovely people on the internet who don’t really want ya to die. Like myself. I can relate to you, or at least the fear of growing up part. There are always good things that make rough times worth it. Life is fun sometimes. Don’t give that up. Let suicide stay a thought. You can think about it all you want. Just don’t do it. Have a good and long life bro
hey, i've been there. please hang in there. i know it hurts and it seems like it would be best to just end it but life gets better. it really does. maybe try seeing a counselor, if you can afford it. that really helped me when i was suicidal. and while growing up is scary and difficult, it's worth it in the end
To anyone new seeing this and wondering what happened to me, or anyone coming back and seeing this again. I wanted those of you to know that I have officially decided to stay. I’m staying for the person I love, more than I am afraid of growing up. I may not be staying for myself right now, but I feel like someday I’ll understand who I am and why I feel the way I do, but for now I’m still here. And so far I am happy in my decision to stay. :)
@@thetwitchylittleferret4550 hey, i've been there. please don't do it. life does eventually get better. i had depression too when i was your age and i seriously considered ending it but i decided to stick it out and i'm so glad i did. try to find someone to talk to about how you feel, a counselor would be ideal but if you can't afford it or don't have access to it a parent or other trusted adult would be good too. if you don't have anyone you can talk to, try writing down how you feel in a notebook or journal, or you could even talk to me on discord. life will get better if you stay. it won't be easy, but it will get better
Thank you.
Anyone feeling as low as me right now listening to this: don’t you fucking dare give up before things get better. Because they will.
But what if they don't 🌜🌝🌛
@@funnyhaha7131 you’ll never know unless you try
@@margeee the thing is the audiance you're trying to convince is way out of the will to try so you gotta speak to something deeper then that
I’ve been waiting for so long for things to get better. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I’m so lost and stressed and sad and I can’t stop feeling like if I just left things would be easier and if that makes me a quitter then I am cause I just can’t cope anymore
It must feel amazing to live even once like there is no tomorrow....
This reminds me of the nostalgia depression brings. It's like that shadow that you see in the corners of your eyes but choose to ignore until it comes to fill your mind and body with an empty state of longing. Longing for the days to pass slower so you have time to grip your bearings, and other times begging for the days to speed bye so you can have that single, sweet moment of rest until you have to repeat another day over again.
It's like an old relative coming to visit, one you thought had forgotten you, one you had hoped would forget you, but you know as it envelops you in it's arms and that nostalgic scent you can never quite put your finger on, it's never going to let you go. Loading you with it's baggage and forcing you to house it in a place you called your own.
Eventually it will leave, but not entirely. It will leave you with it's remnants, so even though you will laugh and smile, when you cross a bridge, when you drive a car, when you face that medicine cabinet every night, you will think "If I died right now I would never have to deal with it. It would be so easy, I could be free from this, I cold die and be free" but you don't. You drive the car, you cross the bridge, you close the cabinet.
Then, when it comes knocking at your door again, you'll think to yourself "I should've done it. I should have left when I had the chance." and that will be all
unless you become tired and defeated when your gas tank all but stops.
you'll jump
you'll swerve
you'll OD
and then..... what then?
no one knows.
I have no words. I don't know what to say. This is probably the single best comment I've read that I remember.
And it is horrifically underrated.
I read and replied to another of your comments that you sent on this video and I'm still hoping that life gets better for you
@@Duckling-ws3kx thank you very much :) I am getting better and I am much happier, thank you again, I really love knowing that I can reach out to people like this.
The beginning was very inspiring, do you mind if I used any part of it in a poem? It'll be very loosely applied but your wording and style is too good to leave. It's untapped potential.
this song hit me in the heart cause its simply what we all feel trapped inside of our soul and we are all scared to be forgotten and will we die before we all go so this is why this song hit my heart
the mighty one being forgotten? They alreadyforgot about me even when im still alive.. what makes a difference when Im dead?
Potato DeUgly im here and no one has forgotten you and if it feels like it make sure they dont if you need it im here
I'm crying plz let God watch us if he shall live
Deathkings b ur profile pic, where’d you get it?
Three years ago I commented on this video, I still come back. To remind myself that it’s all shit, but I’m still here.
I'm glad that you are still here, I also left a comment a few years ago. Feels strange coming back to this video after so long.
When i was little, i used to be so afraid of dying, oh the irony
“I’m scared that you’ll know what to do”
What does he mean by that?
He’s scared because he doesn’t know any of the answers and he finds comfort in the uncertainty because he is so used to it. He’s afraid that If someone finds out how he’s really feeling that they’ll try to change the things in his life to fix his situation and he’s scared of the change. That’s just why I think :)
The fact that that lyric played exactly when I read your comment 0-0
i think it means he’s scared that no one will care, that they’ll carry on as though his death didn’t matter. that they know how to live life without him. imo
@@kenzieb6407 beautiful description
Welp it's almost midnight and I'm in this part of RUclips
Again
I kinda feel called out sorta
Hugs! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Same..
3:45 am for me lol
Knowing that 12 year old me would sing this to my twin as she slept just in case i didn't wake up with her beside me breaks me.
May the souls of these sweet people who are gone find their way to those who need it. I will not leave. I'm sorry.
i wanna hug everyone that listens to this song :((
leaving this comment here as a little checkpoint in life.
when you were my age, you were broken, lost, and confused. you'd lost the girl you thought you couldn't live without. but you're alive. and whatever you're going through right now, you'll make it through. maybe in a couple years when i'm older i'll see this on my recommended.
hopefully i'm still here. and if i'm not, i'm sorry. i tried really hard.
if you need someone to talk to, I'm here
I'm rooting for you, mate. I truly am. Stay strong, friend ❤
Here is your 1 month checkpoint. So how are you doing??
Faith what about you faith, how are you?
@dob 3 months later, how are you?
I'm glad you are here. You're very much needed in this world whether you realize it or not. Your here for a purpose. It was meant for me to read your story tonight and sweetheart I am so sorry for your pain. I had a similar childhood as yours so I can relate. God bless you always and always remember you are meant to be here. Live baby girl ...live
I realize it
It's not that I don't see the beauty of living. It's just not worth all the pain and suffering.
It's worth it. It's so hard to believe but it really is. There will be people who care and memories shared, please trust me. 7cupsoftea.com is a website for online therapy. you deserve to understand yourself and be happy, please stay.