I Didn't Want to Film This

[@AJourneyOfYourSoul]

Good luck brother, depression is a terrible disease. Keep up with the therapy, meds, life choices etc….. you aren’t alone and there is always hope.

[@a.kasper7186]

Keeping it real is hard, but it is good to remember we are all human going through life. It’s reassuring to know we are not alone when the hard times hit us.

[@brucemorrice3569]

Hey man. Thanks for sharing your story. Too many men don’t talk about their issues with a therapist or even friends. Your partner was a callous human.

[@marcusallenyt]

keep the faith .

[@evanphillips3440]

Thanks for sharing Erik.
I've also struggled with similar challenges in the past couple of years. Your videos have been super helpful and inspirational to me as I try to realize my goal of converting a van to reap more enjoyment out of life. I can heavily relate to the analysis paralysis even when you know that doing something is better than nothing even if it ends up being the wrong thing.
Hang in there and keep doing your thing at a pace that your body and mind allow. You can't always force it and that's okay. Looking forward to future videos when they're ready!

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thanks Evan!

[@BBStyles777]

I get it, I'm INTJ/INTP, it serious depends on the day (J/P; and I'm a girl, even crazier). Have done Big5, very high Openness and Conscientiousness. I'm redoing a bus, decided to do my design semi-permanent/accessible so that I could keep my options open and be able to change or build upon things later. I have changed my mind a million times and done a crap load of research. Some ideas I have come up with completely on my own and have not seen anyone else implement, as of yet. I take one area or even item at a time (e.g., interior paint, I have 4 coats and that is only on my interior skeleton so it is not even my interior finish paint, yeah, went all out ceramic beads+). I made a few permanent decisions while keeping all other installs "alterable" so I know I can change anything, if I change my mind. Hang in there, this is part of being creative and analytical at the same time, mixed with a pretty decent IQ from what I have seen in your videos. It can be tough, but also very rewarding because our sh*t usually rocks!

[@ErikJohnson2020]

🥰 Sincerely, thank you for the kind words.

[@GirlsGuide2Packing]

I love you, Boo. You’re such a brave and badass guy. Owning the struggle is every bit as much of the journey as sharing the victories.

[@posteroonie]

I feel great out in my minivan, camping on BLM land, soaking up the beauty and talking with birds of a feather. When I get back to the sticks n bricks responsibilities, it's amazing that I'm not depressed all the time since I know that there's a better lifestyle for me. I have reasons that I return to the house, and I need to be patient with myself as I balance the two lifestyles. The road trips are highlights and between remembering the past ones and planning the next one, I can hang in there in the meantime.

[@Northstorm_Tom]

I have watched a lot of Vanlife videos. I have watched a lot of van build videos. Without a doubt your sense of humor and approach to building your van has made you my number one favorite. I dedicated a playlist to your stuff you make me happy when I’m watching with the idea that maybe one day I too could do that. I’m sorry about your depression, which I know can be totally debilitating. My prayer for you is that you can complete your van build and enjoy some moments of peace and contentment with that achievement. But know that you have made friends on RUclips. Your the kind of guy I wish I had as a neighbor. So whether we see you again on this channel or not, move forward and have a great life.

[@KikisCraftShack]

Thank you for being so open, that takes major courage! I can totally relate to the “analytical paralysis”. It’s a struggle. I appreciate you!

[@ErikJohnson2020]

[@Rudy1150]

ugh, the struggle is REAL. Fellow INTJ with a marketing degree, but I am 52. INTJ is a curse, but also a blessing. I am shocked how many people that are close to me that make poor decisions. Sometimes you need to overthink everything. I am often in my own head and have trouble with small talk and connecting with people at a deeper level. But overall I am happy with my decisions. AND now i am contemplating building out a van as a stepping stone to retiring abroad. love your vids and all the effort you put into it.

[@pandavanlife9042]

I imagine making this video was difficult for you, but I'm really glad you did. Keep us updated when you're feeling up to it, even just "shorts" so you don't have to worry about editing. You're not alone. -Peter

[@pampettingill3233]

Erik, you are a brave soul! I am so very proud of you for your journey, your willingness to share your struggles as well as your incredible successes! (So grateful for lotion tissues - your poor nose!) Remember to eat well, walk in the sunshine, listen to positive music/books, and get all the hugs you want/need. I'm here for you. Always. I'll stop WHATEVER I'm doing when you need me.
You're not 'broken'. You are lovable and loved, and a true delight! Keep fighting, you are so worth the fight! ❤️🤗😊
I'm grateful you are here and that I have the opportunity and pleasure to watch your dream unfold in real time in my very own back yard! I'm the luckiest mom in the whole world!!
Pass me a tissue, please! 😊😭😂

[@mike123abc]

Sharing your video shows that real life still exists and impacts large projects like a van build. Don't feel bound to put out videos. Just record what you do when you work on it, and if you decide to use the footage in the future it will be there for you. You can always do a voice over and make montages. Seeing the thought/build processes even when they end up being changed always makes a more interesting series of videos.

[@BeRadWill]

Keep fighting the good fight my friend. You’re not alone.

[@johnwilliamson9453]

INTJ here too. Thanks for sharing. Step away and have some time that makes you forget about the project. You’ll come back energized.

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Exactly! I just didn't anticipate that my stepping away would end up being nearly two entire months. 😅

[@johnwilliamson9453]

@@ErikJohnson2020 The electrical system is probably the most demanding and critical part of the van build equation. So many failures and issues with RV electrical systems, it can easily be overwhelming. Take your time.

[@jeffreyseeley0909]

I started watching to learn for my future van transformation. I look forward to seeing more. You are a special person Erik, thank you for sharing.

[@RoadsofLife]

Something that gets me through the black dog days....
“We must be willing to be completely ordinary people, which means accepting ourselves as we are without trying to become greater, purer, more spiritual, more insightful. If we can accept our imperfections as they are, quite ordinarily, then we can use them as part of the path. But if we try to get rid of our imperfections, then they will be enemies, obstacles on the road to our ‘self-improvement’.”
Try to accept the struggles as you accept the joys. They are all a part of life.

[@michelleellis8201]

Our mental well being is so important. Therapy has been so helpful to me with my depression and trauma. Medications are just part of my life now. I always put myself first now and when I feel it trying to take hold, I use the tools I learned in therapy to push it away or work through it. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[@tess8822]

Omygoodness I am the same way! All you can do is gather enough info. Virgo here! Find another build someone has done! I love you reasoning of purchase! Helped me immensely! Take heart you are moving ahead. I get not always up for video and you will look back and see there are peaks and plateaus

[@MsLisaLisa89]

I'm also an INTJ and an overthinker who often gets stuck because of anxiety. I recently found out I'm autistic w/adhd. I'm in my 30s and it has explained so much like my depression due to burn out and imposter syndrome.

[@michaelgregory7704]

Thank you for being real, for sharing, and for putting your vulnerability out there. You are "loved" and needed, probably way more than you know.

[@fauxmixedhair]

Stumbled on your channel because of van (diy). This video shows just how real/relatable you are. Mental health is finally getting the same attention as a broken leg, as it should. Thank you for sharing. Hope you have a fantastic 2023! 🎊🎆🎊🎆

[@michaelyeager7087]

I just found your channel today and value you for being yourself. Life is full of ups and downs. Though it's tough and scary at times, getting it out of your head and sharing with a friend , loved one or even us RUclips viewers is the best way to vent. Slow and steady wins the race, you have a lifetime to do it! Doing what you love and surrounding yourself with those that really care about you is the best therapy. I have a lot of the same struggles as you so I can relate first hand. Just be the best Eric Johnson you can and don't be so hard on yourself. I find a lot of the time I criticize my self so much I create my own tail spin. You are not alone my fiend! By the way your videos are very helpful an awesome.

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thank you Michael for the kind words! You are absolutely right though, slow and steady wins the race! Glad to hear you're enjoying the content.

[@joejohnson4698]

I love you, Son.

[@flormaldonado8418]

Thank you for your honesty
I know you made this video about a year ago I hope you are doing so much better and I hope therapy is helping you I know it did for me
Stay strong 😊

[@supernurse43]

You are amazing!! You are doing great!!!

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thank you for the kind words! 🙏

[@jessmatthewson7775]

Hey Eric...its actually a great idea to coast for a bit when your out of gas ...lol no worries. If you think about the project as a whole the goals can be very Elon Musk, James Bond or just a mobile flop zone - but the space is very small. As an analytical personality its important to have a full vision of each aspect and how it's going to look and function. Dont just rush in and do something just to make a vlog. You'll end up having to redo and that gets aggravating. I look at alot of these vans and think 'no that's not gonna work for me...' so take the time to watch a million versions because in doing so there is usually a little snippet or hint or good idea that will help you nail down what youll really like ... think outside your box. I have a few practical basic statements that help me go forward (at the breakneck speed of a hungry turtle) 😂
1. I can't sleep flat (damaged body)
2. I don't want the interior to be all built up with 'rooms' and 'furnishings'.
3. When I open the slide I want it feel inviting, comfy, and be functional as a minimalist yet 'elegant' pet-free environment as well as artist studio/gallery.
4. I will be all along the eastern seaboard, have friends in Colorado and would like to maybe go to Denali.
5. What kind of food will I be eating.
- this clear criteria makes it easy to see what will be top priority and what isn't actually neccesary... what fits and what doesnt. Write a few relevant statements maybe try using the 'sketch up' app., do some pencil sketching. I'm having a hard time finding a place for Somathrace though...🤔 Enjoy the process! 🤓

[@ErikJohnson2020]

You make a great point about being able to visualize the end goal as an analytical person. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment!

[@marylore6134]

We are here for you. You are valuable to us. Look forward to seeing you on your next video. Hugs. Mary and Bob

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thank you so much Mary & Bob! You'd be amazed at how impactful supportive comments can be!

[@marylore6134]

I look for your new video every day. Hope to see you soon. Mary

[@healingjourneys4241]

Sending you love and support. May the light shine on you brighter then ever ♥️. It happens, recharge your batteries and love on yourself 😘. We aren’t going anywhere, take as much time as you need.

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thank you for the kind words and the support! You'd be amazed at how big of an impact your comments can make.

[@sarahserenbo3634]

Heh, I see you haven’t posted anything since this video. I know it’s tough, and hope the fog is lifting…you know it always does. When you feel that happening, what people need from you is to see how you get right back out there and keep going. It’s what we have to do, right? Longer days are coming…more sunlight helps, especially if you can get out in it more.
Here’s I fun bit. I just found your video as I am in the process of doing our subfloor. I have watched hundreds of videos…hundreds. And, I’ve actually decided that the way you did it is the way to go. Laying directly down the center gives you a place to build your edges from, for one, it’s going to make things a lot easier, and hide those seams to boot. It’s actually a great idea and I don’t know why more people don’t do it. I’ll be starting on it today, and that is a thanks to you. Now I’m subscribed, so when you can, get back out there and show us the next steps, eh?

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Hi Sarah! I actually just posted a new video on my electrical system design, so if you haven't checked that out yet let me know what you think of it! Thank you for the kind words, and I hope to see your comments on future videos! :)

[@rhusolo]

Thanks for sharing this. 🤗

[@CihaPet]

When did I record this video? 🙂😀
Dude... I hear you... It takes a LOT of courage to share this. Someone needs to hear/see this video. 👍

[@jessmatthewson7775]

Venting is healthy... I like your beard/mustach look. Tissues are there for us when we need them...good friends. Depression isn't stronger or more important than you are...dont give it the reigns to your life...it can be a bully. One of my favorite cartoons is 'Uncle Pecos' (Tom & Jerry) we all just laugh till our eyes water and visitors (at first) are like what the heck have I walked in to here man 🤣 ... like a bunch of idiots ... every time we see it ...its wonderful just let yourself go maybe try to sing that song when nobody's around... especially the 'hard part ...' hilarious... go for it

[@ErikJohnson2020]

Thank you again for the kind words!

[@AJourneyOfYourSoul]

How is your van coming along? No way you leave us hanging with that last vid.

[@ErikJohnson2020]

I just took a little break, but a new video should be coming this weekend! Thanks for staying patient with me!

[@jackryan8719]

Chiropractor helps

[@dee5331]

I can identify with everything you expressing. I'm the same..

[@rayrayrun]

INFJ is the rarest personality