Orion, you are a godsend mate. These video's are so helpful to me and hearing you guys describe your struggles in life, which echo mine almost exactly, are so therapeutic for me. 62 years I've wasted and struggled (late diagnosed), trying to fit in. The burnout is real. Thank you so much.
Love this video, Orion said several things that I also really needed to hear! I also love traveling, not by myself but with a friend. My friends can handle my brand of extra on vacation, my need to be extra early to combat the ADHD fear of messing something up. My spouse and I are both ND and we stress each other out! We mostly do separate vacations now and it SLAPS! It really helps because we both work from home, so it gives us time to miss each other while going on adventures with friends to something the other might not be into.
This is eerily similar to my experience & I'm turning 50 next week. Right down to the late dx (Audhd) & moving to the GTA however I'm native to a small town in Ontario. Toronto area 30 years ago was different but much the same. In my experience people were mostly nice, just aggressively busy (still are - the DVP is horrifc to commute on). The under ground system scared me to death but it wasn't the same back then. I loved the hiking. That connection to nature was huge. I agree deeply with you Orion! Know your audience before unmasking, elsewise.....😢 That's solidly sound advice. Or have a STRONG advocate with you for moral support. Not even half way through and I had to stop to comment. Thank you both for such an incredible talk & the literal goosebumps & sensory willies/hair raising in a connected shared stuff experience way. Bless you both for the courage it takes to speak. My voice is not as loud but hoping I'll get there soon! Thanks again 🎉❤😊
Thank you Orion. This video is brilliant. I'm very new in starting out as a youtuber sharing my autistic journey. I appreciate all you do in sharing your journey and others on this platform. 🙏
Hey my friend, found my way back here from Elena’s Video - a fellow kiwi - I’ve recently started a new channel where I’m exploring the nuances around mental, spiritual and physical improvement and my experiences with an awakening that coincided with an ADHD diagnosis followed by an Autism diagnosis at 35 - you guys are awesome !!
I loved the geeking out about travel! Orion has great tips! I solo travelled around the world in my late 20s, before i realized i was neurodivergent. I preferred to take walks everywhere and just witness life in different places. I would often visit the big sights but watch from the outside, that satisfied me without putting me in too many crowds of tourists. And best of all, when youre obviously a foreigner, people more easily forgive any social faux pas because youre from a different culture! Brilliant
Hearing you talk about traveling solo versus with family hits hard. I traveled hundreds of thousands of miles alone, and it was almost easy, but every time the family came, I was near meltdown all of the time. It wasn’t until I traveled after my very late diagnosis that it hit me: I have so many mini rituals that I use to make traveling work for me, and traveling with family disrupts all of them.
That was another good interview. This is why it's good that people with autism, adhd, etc. have shows, and discussions. We learn a lot from each other. Since you mentioned rejection sensitive dysphoria, I wanted to point-out that I have avoidant personality disorder from dealing with that for years. My childhood was a horror show. I bet a lot of us have that disorder from the crap we have to deal with all our lives. I also want to say that the travel tour idea is a really good one. I have no idea what to do when I travel, unless my NT wife is with me. Otherwise, I just wander aimlessly, and end-up wasting time and energy, and getting pissed off.
This is YOU ORION! I've said it many times before... YOU are the _trailblazer_ the rest of us are the path takers!!! You are grinding out a new path... a new way of getting the message out with your podcast style collabs. Incredible... astonishing... nobody can keep up!!!
I've seen her content and I think it's very interesting to see another woman talking about her struggles and experiences in life. This was a great interview!
That’s a very open exposition of a world that many can relate but more people don’t. I have never heard it expressed so clearly. Thank you. And thank you Orion.
Diagnosed at 42 last week at level 2. Life makes sense now. I feel as if my knowledge and experiences in life have made me a better person. The way i see it, had I been diagnosed at 4 instead of 42, instead of now been a 42 year old autistic man, i would have been what do you reckon? I would be the same person i am now, but i probably wouldn't have attempted things i have in my life.
I *_CAN'T HEAR ENOUGH_* that people are _discovering_ they were *_always_* autistic. Born again is a massive understatement!!! Bloody well good for you!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😂
Disconnect between the head and the heart, I know that feeling. I been in therapy since I was two. Dx'd in my mid 20's. Struggling to exist, why was I born, feelings so relatable!
"Pissed off about all the wasted years" Same. I count 30+ for me, as I didnt stop trying to "cure" myself until I was in my 30's. I was misled to believe all of my problems were my fault and I just needed to "try harder". I tried so damn hard, for so many years, and nothing I did at my absolute best would seem to work. I'm 47 now. I accept I'm autistic and I fight so hard for accommodations I need to 'be alive'. I struggle to remain silent about what I have experienced. Earlier this year, I tried so hard to remain calm with all the sensory bombardment, I passed out, for 6+ days, no joke, I was hospitalized because I wasn't eating, drinking, defecating. IV at the hospital, to keep me alive. I recall almost nothing from those 6+ days, it was like I was dreaming the whole time. Doctors still dont know what happened to me, and it happened again the end of June this year, for three days. My best guess is that the sensory bombardment from society, existing outside of my control, is just too much for my brain. My ongoing fight to reduce the noises and demands of the outside world, continues to be ignored or "normalized", I was recently told to "modernize" and another told me "that's how it is" and my dad my whole life would say "deal with it, that's life" but life that they are trying to make happen is created by a human, human rules, and human noise and human timescales, so incompatible with me that my brain literally shuts down for days in a row from 'too much'. We really need acceptance and accommodations if we are going to live lives as our true selves, and not a disconnected 'thing'.
I was diagnosed late 24. My parents don't look at the symptoms. I'm afraid of noise. I'm not social. So everything went well until my 18th birthday. I knew I was different but I never thought I had autism, but I got type 1 diabetes and everything fell apart. each other, I have been struggling for 7 years now. I'm in so deep now that I don't know what to do anymore
I moved out of Toronto to Halifax 2 years ago. I had a hard time getting a full time job for years and getting freelance clients. i thought it was me or I wasn’t trying hard enough. I didnt know I was autistic until a little before I moved. I found Toronto a little cold
@@IruTheday I agree, I lived in Toronto for over 30 years. I was thinking about moving to the east coast also, was wondering your thoughts on if it's better out there? Was thinking Fredericton. I'm not living in Canada at the moment but may be moving back at some point. Toronto is now astoundingly expensive as far as real estate
@@SS-cf8yx it is generally a slower pace which is nice and there is more nature. The pay for jobs is much lower even compared to cost of living. In some ways they are behind in mindset. Smaller town mindset. Not much autism awareness and also a lot of work places are very pro in person work. It takes effort to make local friends. It is also less diverse. It is getting more diverse. The people are more down to earth and humble which is nice and you can make real connections. It’s hard sometimes for me to figure out which people are being polite vs which are genuine sometimes. I also had that problem in Ontario as well. I think more here. Not sure if I will stay forever.
%1,000,000 his response to her WAS *_phenomenal!!!_* Orion... is AN AUTISTIC GOD!!!! Passing the torch. The MAN HAS SINGLE HANDEDLY TRANSFORMED HOW WE ALL Look at autism! *_MARK MY WORDS!_* This man had made MADE history and we will see that IN A FEW GENERATIONS!
Aww I'm a bit sad now...as a late diagnosed (40) autistic french canadian I love our boujour/ hi.... it means we care about both canada official languages and can speak both....please don't hate us 😢
@@Itsumi_Nyanko Same feeling and same situation as you (39 y.o. late diagnosed autistic french Canadian). Well... Everybody has the right to think what they want as long as they're respectful. As for me, I disagree from Orion's opinion about french that we speak in Canada (e.g. Quebec). French language is a "living" language and has evolve everywhere in the world just like other languages. France doesn't have a exclusive right on french language to decide what is right or wrong about it. Furthermore, it's a nonsense that non-french speaker judge what is right or wrong about a language that they don't even speak. For me, to say that french language is not "real" french, it's about the same than telling someone doesn't look autistic because this person doesn't look like a "stereotypical" autistic person seen by someone who doesn't know about autism. It's only a different manifestation of the language of french in Canada. It doesn't have to be like other countries to be "legit". It share the same root, for sure, but that's all. Saying french in Canada isn't "real", it's about the same thing to say that English from UK is the "real" English language and any country that don't strictly follow their rules don't speak "real" English... so, is English in Canada or Australia isn't "real" English then ? 🧐 So, Orion : sorry, not sorry ! 😉 Avec beaucoup d'amour de la part du Québec ! 😉 P.S. : bien désolé, chère compatriote, d'avoir fait un long message sous le tien, mais je trouvais pertinent d'ajouter mon point de vue au tien. 😊
Agreed, truly appreciate the French paradox in CA, whether Quebec - Maritimes - Acadia, hearing 'bonjour + hi' is twice polite and welcoming to the ears of this awkward traveler. CA has a very spicy period of historical persecution and repressing 'non-English' - eh? + Mais pourquoi?
I think I have autism, but getting an official diagnosis as an adult will take both time and money. Meanwhile, I wanted to ask if anyone, contrary to the typical autism diagnosis of not being able to read facial expressions and social cues, is highly sensitive to them. I find myself hyper-aware of what is going on and can easily detect even slight discomfort in others in response to what I do or say at work. This sensitivity leads me to overthink things, which is overwhelming and puts an immense amount of pressure on me.
Can relate to this to an extent, though more often than not I can detect something indirect but not understand it, so I don't let it concern me. However, if I'm in a social situation and I don't get a reaction I expect or a passive aggressive reaction, that does get me worried
There are a bunch of non profit autism clinics for autistic adults can go in Toronto, Canada for help with various issues related to your autism. I am referring to the autistic woman who now lives in Toronto, Canada you talked to in this video here on RUclips.
My little Sister did when she was only 11Months , she had have it done at 11Months Old , after hers i could not play with her until after two days later
There are MUCH better places to live in Canada than Toronto. It's definitely not the best time to move to that area of the country with the lack of housing.
I beg to differ on the "people pleasing" setup. When you're highly avoidant like I am, your basic setup is to not give a rat's ass about pleasing people, with very few exceptions...
Calgary judge rules 27-year-old can go ahead with MAID death despite father's concerns: "Now Canada is euthanising autistic people, A father has discovered he is powerless to stop his perfectly healthy daughter being killed." Personally I wouldn´t feel save in Canada as an autistic guy, not because of the "normal" people you meet, but because of the gov. Good Luck to you Elena and don´t let you push in this direction :)
I don’t get Orion’s point about the armor and the wheelchair. He wants Elena to avoid what… exactly? It seems with the armor he’s saying autistics should keep masking to not be « killed », but then with the wheelchair analogy he’s saying autistics shouldn’t have their wheelchair (masking?) only in their own homes… in other words should unmask all the time. I’m confused
If you are still listening to this guy it's because you have not yet realized that he does not have a clue about how the world works, and he does not care about your journey through it.
Orion, you are a godsend mate. These video's are so helpful to me and hearing you guys describe your struggles in life, which echo mine almost exactly, are so therapeutic for me. 62 years I've wasted and struggled (late diagnosed), trying to fit in. The burnout is real. Thank you so much.
Love this video, Orion said several things that I also really needed to hear! I also love traveling, not by myself but with a friend. My friends can handle my brand of extra on vacation, my need to be extra early to combat the ADHD fear of messing something up. My spouse and I are both ND and we stress each other out! We mostly do separate vacations now and it SLAPS! It really helps because we both work from home, so it gives us time to miss each other while going on adventures with friends to something the other might not be into.
This is eerily similar to my experience & I'm turning 50 next week. Right down to the late dx (Audhd) & moving to the GTA however I'm native to a small town in Ontario. Toronto area 30 years ago was different but much the same. In my experience people were mostly nice, just aggressively busy (still are - the DVP is horrifc to commute on). The under ground system scared me to death but it wasn't the same back then. I loved the hiking. That connection to nature was huge. I agree deeply with you Orion! Know your audience before unmasking, elsewise.....😢 That's solidly sound advice. Or have a STRONG advocate with you for moral support. Not even half way through and I had to stop to comment.
Thank you both for such an incredible talk & the literal goosebumps & sensory willies/hair raising in a connected shared stuff experience way. Bless you both for the courage it takes to speak. My voice is not as loud but hoping I'll get there soon! Thanks again 🎉❤😊
Thank you Orion. This video is brilliant. I'm very new in starting out as a youtuber sharing my autistic journey. I appreciate all you do in sharing your journey and others on this platform. 🙏
Hey my friend, found my way back here from Elena’s Video - a fellow kiwi - I’ve recently started a new channel where I’m exploring the nuances around mental, spiritual and physical improvement and my experiences with an awakening that coincided with an ADHD diagnosis followed by an Autism diagnosis at 35 - you guys are awesome !!
I loved the geeking out about travel! Orion has great tips! I solo travelled around the world in my late 20s, before i realized i was neurodivergent. I preferred to take walks everywhere and just witness life in different places. I would often visit the big sights but watch from the outside, that satisfied me without putting me in too many crowds of tourists. And best of all, when youre obviously a foreigner, people more easily forgive any social faux pas because youre from a different culture! Brilliant
Hearing you talk about traveling solo versus with family hits hard. I traveled hundreds of thousands of miles alone, and it was almost easy, but every time the family came, I was near meltdown all of the time.
It wasn’t until I traveled after my very late diagnosis that it hit me: I have so many mini rituals that I use to make traveling work for me, and traveling with family disrupts all of them.
Fresh powder snow muffles the sound. It's very relaxing.
That was another good interview. This is why it's good that people with autism, adhd, etc. have shows, and discussions. We learn a lot from each other.
Since you mentioned rejection sensitive dysphoria, I wanted to point-out that I have avoidant personality disorder from dealing with that for years. My childhood was a horror show. I bet a lot of us have that disorder from the crap we have to deal with all our lives.
I also want to say that the travel tour idea is a really good one. I have no idea what to do when I travel, unless my NT wife is with me. Otherwise, I just wander aimlessly, and end-up wasting time and energy, and getting pissed off.
This is YOU ORION!
I've said it many times before... YOU are the _trailblazer_ the rest of us are the path takers!!!
You are grinding out a new path... a new way of getting the message out with your podcast style collabs.
Incredible... astonishing... nobody can keep up!!!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Fab Fav's:
16:14 Get Through Anything!😎
27:17 Sunflower Lanyard ❤🪽
35:47 Autie Traveling Hacks🙏
45:51 Winning To Fail 🎯👌
I've seen her content and I think it's very interesting to see another woman talking about her struggles and experiences in life. This was a great interview!
That’s a very open exposition of a world that many can relate but more people don’t. I have never heard it expressed so clearly. Thank you. And thank you Orion.
Diagnosed at 42 last week at level 2. Life makes sense now. I feel as if my knowledge and experiences in life have made me a better person. The way i see it, had I been diagnosed at 4 instead of 42, instead of now been a 42 year old autistic man, i would have been what do you reckon? I would be the same person i am now, but i probably wouldn't have attempted things i have in my life.
I *_CAN'T HEAR ENOUGH_* that people are _discovering_ they were *_always_* autistic.
Born again is a massive understatement!!!
Bloody well good for you!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😂
Same as me. I just turned 43 but was diagnosed a couple of months ago.
Great interview!! Thank you so much! and yea the ghost, I saw that immediately lol
Disconnect between the head and the heart, I know that feeling.
I been in therapy since I was two. Dx'd in my mid 20's.
Struggling to exist, why was I born, feelings so relatable!
"Pissed off about all the wasted years" Same. I count 30+ for me, as I didnt stop trying to "cure" myself until I was in my 30's. I was misled to believe all of my problems were my fault and I just needed to "try harder". I tried so damn hard, for so many years, and nothing I did at my absolute best would seem to work.
I'm 47 now. I accept I'm autistic and I fight so hard for accommodations I need to 'be alive'.
I struggle to remain silent about what I have experienced.
Earlier this year, I tried so hard to remain calm with all the sensory bombardment, I passed out, for 6+ days, no joke, I was hospitalized because I wasn't eating, drinking, defecating. IV at the hospital, to keep me alive.
I recall almost nothing from those 6+ days, it was like I was dreaming the whole time. Doctors still dont know what happened to me, and it happened again the end of June this year, for three days.
My best guess is that the sensory bombardment from society, existing outside of my control, is just too much for my brain. My ongoing fight to reduce the noises and demands of the outside world, continues to be ignored or "normalized", I was recently told to "modernize" and another told me "that's how it is" and my dad my whole life would say "deal with it, that's life" but life that they are trying to make happen is created by a human, human rules, and human noise and human timescales, so incompatible with me that my brain literally shuts down for days in a row from 'too much'.
We really need acceptance and accommodations if we are going to live lives as our true selves, and not a disconnected 'thing'.
Great Interview, been subbed to Elena for little while now. 😊
very good content. thank you. she is a darling person. im subscribing now.
Another new auti to follow. Thanks, Orion. You’re a star😂
Holy rusted metal, Orion. Coming in so hot and strong but in exactly the right way. Well done, sir. Excellent pod.
Really enjoyed this conversation: contextually, emotionally and experiencially validating: very helpful information 😍🖖🏾🍀
Great interview.
I was diagnosed late 24. My parents don't look at the symptoms. I'm afraid of noise. I'm not social. So everything went well until my 18th birthday. I knew I was different but I never thought I had autism, but I got type 1 diabetes and everything fell apart. each other, I have been struggling for 7 years now. I'm in so deep now that I don't know what to do anymore
I moved out of Toronto to Halifax 2 years ago. I had a hard time getting a full time job for years and getting freelance clients. i thought it was me or I wasn’t trying hard enough. I didnt know I was autistic until a little before I moved. I found Toronto a little cold
@@IruTheday I agree, I lived in Toronto for over 30 years. I was thinking about moving to the east coast also, was wondering your thoughts on if it's better out there? Was thinking Fredericton. I'm not living in Canada at the moment but may be moving back at some point. Toronto is now astoundingly expensive as far as real estate
@@SS-cf8yx it is generally a slower pace which is nice and there is more nature. The pay for jobs is much lower even compared to cost of living. In some ways they are behind in mindset. Smaller town mindset. Not much autism awareness and also a lot of work places are very pro in person work. It takes effort to make local friends. It is also less diverse. It is getting more diverse. The people are more down to earth and humble which is nice and you can make real connections. It’s hard sometimes for me to figure out which people are being polite vs which are genuine sometimes. I also had that problem in Ontario as well. I think more here. Not sure if I will stay forever.
@@SS-cf8yx New Brunswick people seem even nicer in general. Fredericton seems like a nice place.
Masking is armor. My armor is beat to heck. I suppose this means it’s doing its job. Now my goal is to be in battle situations less. 👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌
15:56
This. 1,000 times this.
%1,000,000 his response to her WAS *_phenomenal!!!_*
Orion... is AN AUTISTIC GOD!!!!
Passing the torch.
The MAN HAS SINGLE HANDEDLY TRANSFORMED HOW WE ALL Look at autism!
*_MARK MY WORDS!_*
This man had made MADE history and we will see that IN A FEW GENERATIONS!
Aww I'm a bit sad now...as a late diagnosed (40) autistic french canadian I love our boujour/ hi.... it means we care about both canada official languages and can speak both....please don't hate us 😢
Same here, Canadian with a French Canadian Heritage.
I hate it... not US.
Sorry, but English is the official world language.
@@Itsumi_Nyanko Same feeling and same situation as you (39 y.o. late diagnosed autistic french Canadian).
Well... Everybody has the right to think what they want as long as they're respectful.
As for me, I disagree from Orion's opinion about french that we speak in Canada (e.g. Quebec). French language is a "living" language and has evolve everywhere in the world just like other languages. France doesn't have a exclusive right on french language to decide what is right or wrong about it. Furthermore, it's a nonsense that non-french speaker judge what is right or wrong about a language that they don't even speak. For me, to say that french language is not "real" french, it's about the same than telling someone doesn't look autistic because this person doesn't look like a "stereotypical" autistic person seen by someone who doesn't know about autism. It's only a different manifestation of the language of french in Canada. It doesn't have to be like other countries to be "legit". It share the same root, for sure, but that's all. Saying french in Canada isn't "real", it's about the same thing to say that English from UK is the "real" English language and any country that don't strictly follow their rules don't speak "real" English... so, is English in Canada or Australia isn't "real" English then ? 🧐
So, Orion : sorry, not sorry ! 😉
Avec beaucoup d'amour de la part du Québec ! 😉
P.S. : bien désolé, chère compatriote, d'avoir fait un long message sous le tien, mais je trouvais pertinent d'ajouter mon point de vue au tien. 😊
@@qc_retro_rpg_gamer 🥰 merci ! Plein d'amour a toi aussi ! Oh et J'adore ton pseudonyme !! Les RPG retro resterons toujours mes preférés ! 😊
Agreed, truly appreciate the French paradox in CA, whether Quebec - Maritimes - Acadia, hearing 'bonjour + hi' is twice polite and welcoming to the ears of this awkward traveler. CA has a very spicy period of historical persecution and repressing 'non-English' - eh? + Mais pourquoi?
Hello from Toronto.
I think I have autism, but getting an official diagnosis as an adult will take both time and money. Meanwhile, I wanted to ask if anyone, contrary to the typical autism diagnosis of not being able to read facial expressions and social cues, is highly sensitive to them. I find myself hyper-aware of what is going on and can easily detect even slight discomfort in others in response to what I do or say at work. This sensitivity leads me to overthink things, which is overwhelming and puts an immense amount of pressure on me.
Can relate to this to an extent, though more often than not I can detect something indirect but not understand it, so I don't let it concern me.
However, if I'm in a social situation and I don't get a reaction I expect or a passive aggressive reaction, that does get me worried
There are a bunch of non profit autism clinics for autistic adults can go in Toronto, Canada for help with various issues related to your autism. I am referring to the autistic woman who now lives in Toronto, Canada you talked to in this video here on RUclips.
I have since i was 2 Years Old
You look and sound like Joel Edgarton 🤩😊
That resonates I'm not going to make it 30 was me was my thinking back then.
My little Sister did when she was only 11Months , she had have it done at 11Months Old , after hers i could not play with her until after two days later
There are MUCH better places to live in Canada than Toronto. It's definitely not the best time to move to that area of the country with the lack of housing.
I was going to say TORONTO is the NEW YORK of CANADA...
A.K.A *_It's an undeserving ASSHOLE!_*
I beg to differ on the "people pleasing" setup. When you're highly avoidant like I am, your basic setup is to not give a rat's ass about pleasing people, with very few exceptions...
Calgary judge rules 27-year-old can go ahead with MAID death despite father's concerns: "Now Canada is euthanising autistic people, A father has discovered he is powerless to stop his perfectly healthy daughter being killed."
Personally I wouldn´t feel save in Canada as an autistic guy, not because of the "normal" people you meet, but because of the gov. Good Luck to you Elena and don´t let you push in this direction :)
🧑🏼❤️🧑🏽🧑🏼🍼🧑🏽🍼💍🛌🏼🥀🥀🛌🏽💍🧑🏽❤️🧑🏼🧑🏽🍼🧑🏼🍼
Not sure what to make of this? 😂
I was always interested how it looks like when two autistics people meet together 🧐
Having gone through my 59 yrs of life not knowing I was autistic and people pleasing, how to you stop doing this?
I don’t get Orion’s point about the armor and the wheelchair. He wants Elena to avoid what… exactly?
It seems with the armor he’s saying autistics should keep masking to not be « killed », but then with the wheelchair analogy he’s saying autistics shouldn’t have their wheelchair (masking?) only in their own homes… in other words should unmask all the time. I’m confused
I love Travelling but it leads to burnout 😢
@GreggVenuti-p6e yup, “just in case”
@carroll: speaking up for yourself might be getting out of that big town, dear.
If you are still listening to this guy it's because you have not yet realized that he does not have a clue about how the world works, and he does not care about your journey through it.
@@brumleytown1882 untrue