Hasnt even been a week since my diagnosis. I definitely cried. My whole life i knew i was different, so i felt validated, but i still feel random bouts of mourning for the autistic girl I've ignored my whole life. But there's also a crap ton of hope. Excited now to see how my authentic self will start presenting itself.
I had received my diagnosis later in life near 40 chronologically and it was in the middle of the deepest burn out of my life. Which I’m still working on recovering from. Imposter syndrome, kit set in meltdown shutdown. A lot of stuff makes sense, however still terrified and extremely excited so trying to figure out how to move my energy through with where I’m at, and creating neurodivergent interior exterior design spaces for myself as an individual and collectives.
I have my final report Nov 17, nervous as hell... Either way Ill be ok, but at a stand still in regards to next steps. 2 weeks aint so bad, im 52 now.. its gonna be an interesting conversation.
Learning about alexithymia and delayed emotional processing was a game changer for me. Before, I always felt like if I just focused a little harder I could understand my feelings better. Just knowing that I dont know how I feel and that I need reflection time is freeing. It also helps me be a better partner to my wife.
I don't know if anyone else feels frustrated after a formal or self diagnosis. I do feel better at the same time because I can actually set boundaries for myself, I can advocate for myself and articulate myself and my feelings better. Because I know what I know, things are and will be better. But, I also feel so angry and sad and frustrated with the past and wishing I knew so much sooner. Even just knowing a year ago would've greatly changed my life. Like, when I looked back on my life under the lens of autism, I cried like a lot of other people have said. You think "holy shit, everything makes so much more sense." and yes, everything clicked, but I cried tears of anger. Frustrated with how I was treated and how I treated myself. Feeling insane, or like a shitty person for the most developmental years of my life. Even just this self-diagnosis will greatly improve my quality of life from here on out, but I wonder if anyone else can relate to the side of frustration in tandem with relief and acceptance?
No longer feeling broken...I was thinking it, then you said it! 😊 The other BIG one for me is that learning about autism to understand myself has meant I am better able to provide support for the kids on my school bus. It feels great to know I can make a difference for them.
I’ve been working through burnout yet and not feeling like the best mother my son’s now adult and our relationship is strained from misdiagnosis over years and now having a formal diagnosis and understanding where and why things were happening how can I make things right between him and I? I don’t find employment. I’m trying to figure out ways to create employment around neurodivergent interior exterior design spaces with natural elements. To not only advocate but to put into action to create ways to earn a living and set example and lead a path for his generation and our generations and sustainability and regeneration. I’m looking to form what I call newtable blooms or spectrum blooms “bloom as able”. Not edited at this point. Anyone interested in collaborating as we’re going through some life transitions each moment each minute each day, etc. Project program play, and work@@MomontheSpectrum
Thank you for supporting the kids on your bus! I could imagine that having a huge impact for them. I know for me, the bus was a source of lots of bullying and trauma. Having someone looking out who understands could be seriously life changing for some kids.
"Learning to trust your intuition" was a breakthrough phrase from this video - it articulated something I've felt and been trying to put into words for a while since my diagnosis. Thanks for sharing all of these!
Yes, learning this was crucial for me as well. It's something I'm still learning, but perhaps is the most important thing that has come from my diagnosis. Thanks for your comment!
I'm 68, self diagnosed 4 years ago. That hit me between the eyes, big time. It has meant ... everything. And I am learning to manage the various stresses. Finally understanding that ... yes, some people do not see the world the way I do ... or rather why I see the world the way I do. Authenticity, not masking, being just me, what I want places me within my overall community with more compassion for everyone.
I love how relatable all of these experiences are. For me, I'd say the diagnosis was life-saving. The past me was miserable, self-loathing and anxious 24/7. Now I can see a future. I want to live this life, but on my terms. I experienced a moment of happiness for the first time in my 40+ years-long life after being diagnosed. It was amazing to suddenly realize that all of that extra weight of anxiety I had been carrying around was gone. It's not gone completely, but just knowing that that moment of happiness can exist keeps me from hitting the ultimate misery.
I just got my diagnosis last Friday as well! My husband has not been very understanding.. he basically accused me of using my diagnosis as a "cop out" for what I now realize are autistic meltdowns and burn outs, and told me he didnt sign up for this. So that sucked.
That I needed more support in certain areas compared to other people. There can be a variety of different ways to solve a problem and I should not hold myself to overly high expectations
After 56 years I can finally give myself grace, accommodation, acceptance and love. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just different. I’m okay with different
Have anyone in the community been fired from a job because they were too honest. I worked with the public and sometimes they were very frustrating to work with. I remember saying that to the customer and later I was fired. I had no idea what I did was rude or wrong. I now work with kids who are just as extremely honest
You are probably going to have a huge influence on their lives by showing them that honesty is the way to live. I wish you the best of luck in your new career.
Yes. I told them and didnt get my contrat renewed as the only person in my team )and for 5 yrs they had been very satisfied with me)... I know for sure it was due to the diagnosis. ... I wouldnt say it anymore today.
Sitting here in tears because every single one of those 21 ways are something I (and we) can all relate to. After being self-diagnosed for a year now things are still hitting hard and they always will be, but knowing you're truly not alone makes all the difference. I'm also glad I just started with my new counselor. It's a life changing experience. Literally a rebirth in so many ways.
'I have words to understand myself' now that is powerful! Sometimes i struggle with the stereotype autism. That we can't have or do certain things but that's bs. I choose what i want in my autistic body and brain. Thank you!
One of the biggest challenges for me after being diagnosed is that, regardless of how well i start to understand things about myself, and feel that i get better at telling people how things works for me, most still reacts as if i am speaking in a different language. I know that, the deeper i go into understanding myself, the better i get to explain things to others. My hypothesis is that there are a mental barrier in those who dont understand it. I know i explain things in simple ways because open minded people do understand it.
“Giving people the words to describe their experiences” - I find it amazing how the information and descriptions of Autistic experiences match exactly how I have felt so much during my life. Thanks to you, Taylor, and other Autistic content creators who I watch on RUclips such as Orion, Claire and Jenn. You are all doing such a great job to help people make sense of their lives. I should add that I’m only self diagnosed so far.
My assessment results are due any day! But I already feel much less imposter syndrome, and I am much better about advocating for myself and communicating my support needs with family. also, early on (beginning on 2024) when my therapist first suggested neurodiversity and autism to me, (what I consider my actual diagnosis, but its not official), and I started researching and relating to nearly everything I read and heard about autistic experiences, my self-hate/harm thoughts improved dramatically. plus, the support groups I've found are lovely and make me feel included, along with the autism yt community, are all things I cherish in my life now that I would have never thought to look for before. thank you
These are great examples, thank you for sharing! I found this community just as I was going through the diagnosis process 3 years ago and it has been so helpful. Knowing there are others out there that experience life similarly to the way I do makes me feel less alone. 💞
Thank you for sharing the positive aspects of the diagnosis, even if there are many of them that I am not experiencing yet or will never do. Your work deserves to keep watching the ads to jelp you monetize the videos.
“Finally found my tribe” resonates deeply with me. As a late identified (not diagnosed as I’m not diseased) autistic, I felt so broken. As the saying goes, I’m a perfect zebra, not a defective horse.
To “come back home” I love to listen to your (as well as others’) autism videos. I resonate with practically every single characteristic and have had so much relief and healing since my therapist suggested this as being me at age 52 (about 6 months ago). However, I do get discouraged because my family and everybody else pushes back against it because I seem in so many ways normal to them. I think my husband thinks that if he admits to me being autistic, I will change or think it is a crutch or something. So I keep being tempted to put on masks. I am getting much better at figuring out how to regulate myself and manage my schedule to get me back into routine (imagine this as an autistic person: I am a military wife and was a military child and have lived in 45 different houses in my life. Four different countries I’ve been licensed as a physical therapist in nine different states…. so basically I think I’ve gotten really good at wearing a mask and have fooled everybody). Anyway, I just wanted to voice this somewhere or to someone. Thank you for listening!
That has to be so frustrating that they aren't believing you. As you said, the reason you seem so "normal" to them is because you had to be. It's a survival strategy to fit in. You deserve the chance to live as your authentic, autistic self and I hope they can make the space for you to explore and live into that!
@@rainbowconnected thank you for the response and encouragement! I’m sure it will keep getting easier (already has) as my loved ones start to “get it” about me more.
Hello Victoria, I was a military kid too. My social incompetence was hidden because "friends" cycled through every 6 months or so. I see now how stressful moving was and that I continued a pattern of seeking stress. What a relief to be "free" now at 53. Wishing you the best. Kirsten
@ Thanks for the response Kirsten. Interesting thought… “continuing a pattern of seeking stress.” That makes a ton of sense… I think I sometimes sabotage opportunities for peace by doing just that. It is a process learning to honor our needs, huh? Learning I’m autistic sure is empowering though! ☀️
Thank you for sharing this! I have been told that I'm autistic and I know I am but my therapist doesn't believe me when I tried to tell her. She gaslights me about it. I really need to share this with her. Because she needs to know that I'm upset with her. She doesn't listen to me about it.😢
I'm sorry your therapist is invalidating you. That's really not ok. If you express that you're upset and she doesn't listen and change her behavior, I would highly recommend finding a new therapist. You deserve to be believed, listened to and respected. Those are all so crucial for creating the safe container that therapy requires to work.
The first comment about the sudden realisation made me burst out in tears. I've been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember, been hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar just before i turned 30 (now I'm 43). I've always felt that something has been off with that diagnosis, that something was missing and lately I've been in a very dark place. I remembered something an autistic friend said to me years ago that I didn't put much weight into until now when I stumbled across a video about autism. And like others said: Everything fell into place. I am still shellshocked because it explains why I've felt so weird and why people have perceived me as weird since I was a child. I wish I would have gotten a proper diagnosis earlier because it would have made me not hating myself and not understanding why I didn't fit in. But I feel so much better now that the penny finally dropped, even though I'm still in shock.
So much love, friends. I’m so grateful for this community and all of our experiences! Beautiful job, Taylor. I’m definitely in happy tears. Thank you. 😊
I was diagnosed aged 41 following 12 years of asking Doctors for an assessment, and once I was told it felt like it was such a weight off my shoulders just to know there's nothing "wrong" with me, and it's just how my brain works. It's a huge thing to process and figure out what's me and what was me masking. It also led to me realising that the relationship Ivwas in at the time wasn't healthy as well. I've managed to get away from there, moved back home with family, and am now exploring a new relationship with a fellow autistic, and things just feel so much better.
When I got my test results saying I am autistic I showed it to everyone who had known me more than a year. The universal response was, "Oh, that explains a lot". The second thing that happened was in my AFOL (Adult Fans Of Lego) group after I got diagnosed and started talking about it within six months 6 of the other 8 members of my group were diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
I might be able to do a diagnosis in a few years in my mid 40s and I’ll be 41 in January. Started getting into self diagnosis right before I turned 34.
@ feels so wonderful to be part of this community and see so many relate able stories. First time ever that I don’t feel scared to speak openly. Thanks for making that a possibility through your channel 🙏🏻😊
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, your channel has helped me understand myself better than I ever have before. I now identify as a self-diagnosed autistic adult. Your videos helped put so much of my life in perspective! Every weird thing about myself suddenly makes sense, and I am overcome by an enormous sense of clarity! THIS is the puzzle piece I have been missing. I want to thank you with every fiber of my being. It took an emotional ordeal in order for me to reach this point, but now I feel so overwhelmingly relieved. I never understood how important it is to be SEEN. It feels great to be validated, knowing I'm not just some terrible person that people hate for an unknown reason. I know WHY I'm different than the people around me, and that's okay. I hope to become an active member of this community. I am coming from a background of love and marriage, yet somehow manage to feel so incredibly alone and unseen. I hope finding like-minded people can help ease the pain of not having anyone that just GETS IT. Taylor, I cannot thank you enough for giving my brain the specific words it needed to hear. You helped me more than you could know
This is such an important video - thank you for making and posting it. My heart goes out to those of us who did not survive without a diagnosis (self or official). I am recently self-diagnosed, and the sense of relief is indescribable.
Oh wow you used my comment 😅. Ya the diagnosis really changed my life and really explained alot of what I was going through. Masking was the worst thing I could have done so now I feel I'm acting like my true self. I'm sort of having a redemption arc.
Sorry in advance if my comment sours this happy post. I was diagnosed last month and we and my doctor have strong suspicions it also comes with ADHD. To be honest, I didn't take it well. I didn't had any preconceived notions about the topic, I treat everyone with the respect they deserve. It's just... for a long time I've felt broken, that I lack something and craved to be accepted. This diagnostic more than validate myself as who I am (which in part it did), it felt more like a sentence, I'll never be able to fully solve my problems, only find workarounds to get by. It was hard. Reading it's a disability also affected me a lot, there's a wall I don't think I'll be able to climb. Reading more about the topic and watching videos like this helps easing my mind, and I appreciate the strengths my condition gives me, but that's only because I rather to see the glass half-full. If I had the choice I'd rather be neurotypical. It's clear it might take a while to come to terms with it, hope in a couple of years I'm able to look back and smile at this moment.
I wish you all the best as you navigate these strong feelings. If it helps: When I first found out I have ADHD in my mid-thirties (more than 30 years ago), I went through a very painful period of mourning. I eventually got through that and was able to accept the ADHD. When I recently discovered I am also autistic, all of my life suddenly made sense. I am so much happier now that I have a clearer understanding of myself. I sincerely hope you have a similar positive reaction when all is said and done.
Truly appreciate your honesty here. We all have different experiences, and I’ve definitely been through heavier seasons of processing my diagnosis as well. 💓
Pretty understandable, while my experience was the opposite, as in before I was just briken and disabled without any clue of how to do better or excuse of why I need more aid, it is also very normal and understandable to feel trapped by the diagnosis. There is a reason why some people are not advised to get diagnosed. It is a lot easyer treating someone else with respect and accomodation then having to face oneself will need it.... I hope your perception changes with time once it has helped you finding better ways to deal, but tgere is no shame in it feeling bad now. Wish you the best
While my experience was the opposite, I can understand how you feel. Is it worth approaching your doctor to ask about access to mental health services to help you process your diagnosis? They may be able to help you find a path through the understandable grieving process, so that you can begin working on solutions that can at least make life slightly easier to deal with day to day. Something a lot of people have to deal with in their lives when they become or find out they are disabled is what's called "internalized ableism", and it's not shameful to experience that. It takes time and effort to work through that internalized ableism to find a more self-accepting and other-accepting way of thinking, but it can help a lot. I'm so sorry you're struggling with such difficult thoughts, and I wish you all the best.
The relief, like a lot of people mentioned, was immense. I was hyper self conscious/awkward for awhile since I was seeing everything I do in a new light (late/self diag). I own my wierdness now 😊. The biggest change was my health: no more pressing the preverbial override button or over exerting myself. I took for granted just how much I was doing it and giving myself extra migraines, hair loss, zapping my energy, and feeling consistently terrible in general. Be gentle to yourselves people ❤
Hi Taylor, I'm 50 in a few weeks and I was recently professionally diagnosed and I'm struck by how many people kind of knew I was autistic. Turns out I was the last to know and the only one to be surprised about it, lol. The best part about getting my diagnosis is that it's like having the final piece of the jigsaw that I never knew I needed, but at the same time, I've been looking for all my life. Thanks for your videos ❤ x
Subconsciously unmasking? More awareness indeed but what if you have been masking for so long and now that you know and you’re now subconsciously unmasking more and more? Could also be that sensory issues are piling up and the lack of energy (burnout) makes you unable to mask as you did before.
Hi, I also feel worse than before knowing, but I understand that it takes long to learn to treat oneself better and discover our true selves and needs. Paul Mikelef from "Autism from the inside" has a video on suddenly being "more autistic". It's normal to become more sensitive. We notice our real needs more, where before we forced ourselves to be tough and "normal". But it can be overwhelming. I tend to stay home more and take little steps into the new reality.
I always wondered why I was so good at clocking autistic people, it wasn't until I was clocked by one myself that it sent me down a rabbit hole of self-discovery and self-diagnosis. I had to get over some of the shame and denial, but now i have so much more grace and compassion for myself, I've been able to be present and in control of life again. I still wish there were more options for professional diagnosis so I could get better accommodations at work, but the relief is good enough for now! Your videos have been so helpful on this journey 💜
I just took the first step to an official diagnosis on Friday! Completed the ADOS-2 and some other testy chit-chat portions. I'm so nervous about the rest of it but watching this video made me very hopeful for the future.
This was really helpful! Ironically, I think this video is validation that I can put pursuing a formal diagnosis on the back burner (unless at some point I end up having kids, because it would be useful to have medical confirmation of prior to having a baby). I'm thankful that I grew up in an environment where I've been accepted with my oddities. I'm so glad this RUclips community exists, though. Getting to know autistic folks like yourself and others on RUclips has REALLY helped me have words to make sense of my experiences. I may not have a formal diagnosis, but hearing others' stories and means of coping has really inspired me to start implementing healthy things in my life that have helped me avoid burn outs and deal with sensitivities. Thanks for all you do!
I am fairly certain that autism explains so much of my existence but asking questions for clairification or to show i am not sure how to react to situations has not worked out so well for me, same goes for using observation to try to learn. I have always viewed being weird as a badge of honor, always told people that yes i was and i thanked them for noticing, the look on their faces in response always tickled my humor. I wish i could figure out the whole communication thing, i wish the others would not be so like they are, this silence is getting supremely boring to endure.
See i always see people going on about how it makes them feel less broken or damaged etc, whereas it was actually entirely the reverse for me, it was confirmation of being broken at a genetic level and basically made me have to rethink my long term goals on things like relationships and starting a family, just seems cruel to knowingly bring a kid in the world knowing they will have those same struggles :/
Thanks for your honesty here. I'm sure you're not alone in feeling these things! There can be so many challenging emotions in processing a diagnosis. I've got a video over my own grief in processing this as well.
I always felt broken , the diagnosis makes it no longer my fault, ot is out of my controll and if others are still lovwly human beings , it cant make me a monster
My childhood wasn't bad, and my adult years would have gone smoother if I'd known earlier. Plus, one way to make life easier for future generations of autists is to have lots of kids so that we make up a larger fraction of the population.
Autism is not hereditary one to one, so having a child does not automatically doom them and even if they got it too, they will probably have it way better with you knowing and being able to help, not force them into harmful coping mechanism and such. Most of autism struggles comes from being undiagnosed and unaccomodated for way to long, but I also get, if you do not want to risk it. While for me it was the opposite experience, it is neither rare nor hard to get why the diagnosis can feel trapping to you. I just hope, that with time and the diagnosis helping with better coping mechanisms, that feeling changes. Wishing you the best❤
I was diagnosed with autism about two weeks ago and have comorbid diagnoses that I knew before too. I am processing but it is definitely a relief to have answers. I would say that I’m glad I have a diagnosis now. Honestly I’m trying not to feel sorry for myself because I have a good education and always did well in school but am not able to have a career. I don’t know what the future holds but a quote that has been inspiring me by Morgan Harper Nichols is “I do not know where tomorrow will lead but I do know I am free to give my all with audacious hope for what could be.”
I loved hearing everyone’s experience! You mentioned EMDR and it’s really beneficial btw. I did it some years ago, and I see folks get a lot of great healing from it. 💛
I received an assessment from a Clinical Social Worker yesterday who specializes in autism who basically said that Imy as ASD Level 1 as they come. It’s obvious that I’m autistic, and I have an assessment from someone with a Master’s who specializes in autism. But, I’m still going to get an “official” diagnosis. If nothing else it might shed light in other diagnoses. The person I saw yesterday think I also have ADD, so testing might reveal such things. Maybe, maybe not.
I was diagnosed with Autism 2 weeks ago. I'm in my 50's. All my life has been a struggle. When i was told im autistic my reply was "i thought you would say no" I explained the many scenarios in my head before i even come out of the house😳 I was told that a lot of Autistic people do that🥺
I love your content! When I realized I was on the spectrum it was all I could think about or talk about or cared to see content on for almost 3 months. A totally normal response I am told. It was life changing. No longer did I feel like I was constantly just failing at being a person but I was instead just different. In the words of someone wiser than me "There is peace in knowing I was a normal zebra and not a failed horse"
@user-zr6pl6nb6z probably the fact that I understand now all the things I told myself I was wrong for doing and had to hide constantly are natural parts of me and not something I should feel bad about doing. It helped heal a lot of trauma. I don't feel like I'm somehow a piece of shit just for needing things to be different. So much of my mental energy was pointed directly at performing being a person all the time. I just for some reason assumed everyone else was running through similar mental exercises to talk to other people. Realizing so much of my behaviors and psychological energy were associated with masking. I would do things that didn't make me happy but were socially advantageous. Which I thought that sacrifice was something everyone did.
@@Ashley_Obscuro I guess I still don't get it. Sure, knowing I'm on the spectrum has made me realize internally that I'm not some weirdo, but it hasn't changed how others treat me. I'm still discriminated against because of it.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z I get that. Yeah I definitely am not nearly as socially acceptable as I was. That part is much harder with my masking slowly falling away. Life is just easier when I don't need to spend so much energy trying to fight my nature.
i feel alot of the comments that you read and alot them could word away better. but going for years just say i have learning disabilities and feeling upset when i couldn't give other more info now being diagnosis i can say yes i have this and this and so that why my brain work that away! i feel joy and sadness about not know sooner! i do hard time find place to make friends still but i hope to find one soon!
I am self diagnosed. I've found that whenever I become obsessive and distressed about a special interest I can stop myself and say that's just my brain, calm down. The other thing is I'm more picky with socializing. Which may cause me issues at work but why should I do the socializing when most other people are better equipped?
how do i go about getting a diagnosis? :( I’ve reached out to some facilities and the one who did respond said they won’t be scheduling until spring of 2026. it just seems so difficult to actually get in to a facility to get diagnosed and the pricing for some places is so much :( just looking for any advice on this🥺
You can check out my Big Autistic Resource Guide for a long list of reputable autism eval providers and they might have shorter wait times/better accessibility. Https://www.MomOnTheSpectrum.life/barg
Does anyone have the same experience as me? I am awaiting an autism assessment and have been having seizures. I'm being tested for epilepsy and feel like it would be so good to hear some other people who know how I'm existing atm.
Not sure specifically about Canada but you can find helpful diagnostic resources and evaluation providers in my Big Autistic Resource Guide: momonthespectrum.life/barg Also, I think embrace-autism.com might have evaluation providers based in Canada? Can't remember off the top of my head but might be worth checking out.
hoping for advice, because i'm having somewhat the opposite experience ... thinking i'm broken hasn't been my obstacle, i've always just felt i'm on a completely different wavelength, so other people's tuning forks don't vibrate when mine does. by the time of my diagnosis, all my inter-personal momentum from earlier life had dissipated, which means i have no traction in any area of my life, including work. it's hard enough to feel such an enormous gulf of separateness and alone-ness, let alone when that gulf is actively threatening my basic survival ... and with such a lack of common experience or tuning-fork resonance with others i don't see how to overcome it. sure, autism is the reason things are as they are, but it's also the reason i don't have the agency with others to change things.
Love all these! I would like to say a big fuck you to my psychiatrist who told me there was no point in even getting evaluated because at my age there are no therapies to help me. All his other reasons were stupid too. Happy that I have my eval coming up in a couple months now! :)
Perhaps it is time to see Autism as a Spectrum of abilities and not a Spectrum of problems? Perhaps Autism IS about a special gifting to address huge complex problems, ability to see "patterns" and comes with an annoying type of straight-faced honesty? Perhaps the emerging Autistic group is best equipped to address the existential problems that face our planet? Perhaps MRIs prove that Autistic brains have more neural connections? Perhaps Elon Musk should be the Poster Boy for Autism and should be an inspiration for those learning how they can best contribute? BTW How many here see the humor in the t-shirt depicting a "Melting Rubik's Cube" ??? BE PATIENT . . . DON'T STOP LEARNING . . . Thank you Tay!!
Yeah no thanks, elon musk is very much not a loster boy I would want to relate to.... Yeah aitosm gives gifts too, but that will nevwr take away from it being a disability and dependend on how bad you got it it is easyer or harder to find the good things or feel like they make up for bad. Cyying cause tpuching grass is overstimulating is not a superpower nor is being nonverbal and people around you not bothering to dind ways to make up for your communication disability.... Pattern recognition and eye for details can absolutely make us very desired for security jobs and such but there is a danger of expecting inhuman feats and unwillingness to give support
I'm 33 and right at the start of understanding this. The more I learn the more I realise it applies to me. The biggest feeling I have right now is fear/anxiety. I'm scared of what it all means and I'm struggling with accepting. I'm thinking a formal diagnosis will force me to accept and stop this feeling.
I am looking to get diagnosed myself, yet have been putting off a bit. I feel like I could wrong about being autisic and that itself is causing some internal distress, because if I'm not autisic why am I the way I am... why do I struggle so much? Why do I feel so weird when comparing myself to other people...
At 52 and self-employed, I'm not sure if I need an actual diagnosis ....or if I could even get one because my entire family is dead. There's literally not a single person alive who knew me as a child. At 52 my masking skills are absolutely boss-level so, would a doctor even be able to tell? The signs are obvious to me, and tbh, I've suspected I'm autistic for probably 40 years ...even before anyone looked beyond 6 year old boys obsessed with trains who screamed and rocked and banged their heads.....but, I'm pretty sure that the rest of the world can't see it, although they do still perceive me as odd 😒
Health and medical needs! Little did we know that there are medical crises caused by the sheer lack of understanding of the link between autism and co-morbidities. I feel I need to shout these out now… please read twice. 1. Medication paradoxical reactions. This one has cost me not getting adequate help in the ER. Not sure how I survived some of these episodes, where I just took the pills I was given and completely derailed my body. 2. Up to 40% of autistic children succumb to tick borne infections. Not knowing of the meaning of either for most of my life so far let alone their correlation; not having any doctor up until I was 32 think of this… has cost me 20 years of excruciating pains,confusion, struggles I do not want to remember. It was not addressed until I became mostly bed bound with neurological infection. These diagnoses are difficult in themselves to think of, unless we are all more aware of the data. That lack of factual knowledge costs us too much, knowledge that is available! Videos specifically on medical co-morbidities are invaluable! This definitely is life saving. Because they make that knowledge palpable and accessible to more people. I completely changed the way I take medications thanks to online videos like this one, while researching autism. I cannot stress how needed this work that Taylor and other content creators are doing is. Thank you!
Omg when my psychiatrist mentioned I may be on the spectrum, everything came into focus. I am not a weirdo. I now know why I have only one friend..I am not unloveable
Asperger Experts has a free online community! www.aspergerexperts.com/community I have other free resources in my Big Autistic Resource Guide: www.momonthespectrum.life/barg
I'm already so tired and frustrated. I've been wondering if it's even worth going for an official diagnosis. The medical system in my country is pretty backwards too, and I've read some real horror stories from people who tried to get diagnosed and the docs were less than helpful. Genuinely not sure if it's worth the hassle for me. 😮💨
So, clothing textures are supposed to be a huge thing with autistic folks, right? Because, as a fundie raised AFAB child, I was forced to wear “modest” clothing. Most of it was heavy and loose; long denim skirts, pullover sweatshirts, boys athletic shorts, oversized tee shirts, etc. Those textures rubbing my skin literally make nauseous, or like I want to unzip my skin and step out of it. I’ll wear pajama pants, which are looser, but only if they’re lightweight. The only thing that doesn’t make me feel icky all over are snug and/or lightweight things, like leggings, skinny jeans, fitted tees, and fuzzy socks. It was more than just a “rebellious/Jezebel spirit”, it was me feeling disgusted by thick cotton and heavy denim rubbing my skin. I know autism isn’t a monolith by any means, but could that potentially be a sign I am? I also remember constantly getting physically punished (I don’t know if RUclips will allow me to use the actual words) for my physical mannerisms because “Do you want people to think you’re autistic or something? Quit that!” It’s just been on my mind a LOT lately
Hasnt even been a week since my diagnosis. I definitely cried. My whole life i knew i was different, so i felt validated, but i still feel random bouts of mourning for the autistic girl I've ignored my whole life. But there's also a crap ton of hope. Excited now to see how my authentic self will start presenting itself.
Mourning is definitely a big part of the process for many of us, including myself. So many mixed emotions, but hopefully also relief and peace.
I had received my diagnosis later in life near 40 chronologically and it was in the middle of the deepest burn out of my life. Which I’m still working on recovering from. Imposter syndrome, kit set in meltdown shutdown. A lot of stuff makes sense, however still terrified and extremely excited so trying to figure out how to move my energy through with where I’m at, and creating neurodivergent interior exterior design spaces for myself as an individual and collectives.
I got diagnosed this week. It's not surprising .
@audreysargent3518 right, i knew it but I couldn't let myself believe it till the diagnosis was official.
I have my final report Nov 17, nervous as hell... Either way Ill be ok, but at a stand still in regards to next steps. 2 weeks aint so bad, im 52 now.. its gonna be an interesting conversation.
Learning about alexithymia and delayed emotional processing was a game changer for me. Before, I always felt like if I just focused a little harder I could understand my feelings better. Just knowing that I dont know how I feel and that I need reflection time is freeing. It also helps me be a better partner to my wife.
Yes! Exactly. That component of finally understanding, hey it’s not about my focusing harder, it’s just a different way of processing information.
I don't know if anyone else feels frustrated after a formal or self diagnosis. I do feel better at the same time because I can actually set boundaries for myself, I can advocate for myself and articulate myself and my feelings better. Because I know what I know, things are and will be better. But, I also feel so angry and sad and frustrated with the past and wishing I knew so much sooner. Even just knowing a year ago would've greatly changed my life. Like, when I looked back on my life under the lens of autism, I cried like a lot of other people have said. You think "holy shit, everything makes so much more sense." and yes, everything clicked, but I cried tears of anger. Frustrated with how I was treated and how I treated myself. Feeling insane, or like a shitty person for the most developmental years of my life.
Even just this self-diagnosis will greatly improve my quality of life from here on out, but I wonder if anyone else can relate to the side of frustration in tandem with relief and acceptance?
When I got diagnosed nearly 2 years ago I cried in front of the doctor and also my mum. You re start your life. You sit and think of now and then.
Thats true. Its a new beginning. Not an end
So true! That was my experience as well. How are you doing now?
No longer feeling broken...I was thinking it, then you said it! 😊
The other BIG one for me is that learning about autism to understand myself has meant I am better able to provide support for the kids on my school bus. It feels great to know I can make a difference for them.
The school bus can be such a scary place for kids! Thank you for advocating for our children and taking good care of them!
I’ve been working through burnout yet and not feeling like the best mother my son’s now adult and our relationship is strained from misdiagnosis over years and now having a formal diagnosis and understanding where and why things were happening how can I make things right between him and I?
I don’t find employment. I’m trying to figure out ways to create employment around neurodivergent interior exterior design spaces with natural elements.
To not only advocate but to put into action to create ways to earn a living and set example and lead a path for his generation and our generations and sustainability and regeneration.
I’m looking to form what I call newtable blooms or spectrum blooms “bloom as able”.
Not edited at this point.
Anyone interested in collaborating as we’re going through some life transitions each moment each minute each day, etc.
Project program play, and work@@MomontheSpectrum
Thank you for supporting the kids on your bus! I could imagine that having a huge impact for them. I know for me, the bus was a source of lots of bullying and trauma. Having someone looking out who understands could be seriously life changing for some kids.
Oh my goodness. I get the captions. No tone, no auditory distractions. I get to just read the text. This is a game changer.
it's refreshing to see this style of content again
Welcome to monotropism (processing one channel at a time). I hope this helps.
This is going in my Autism Well-being playlist! This one is super-positive. I'll be watching this one more than once.
So glad to hear it!
"Learning to trust your intuition" was a breakthrough phrase from this video - it articulated something I've felt and been trying to put into words for a while since my diagnosis. Thanks for sharing all of these!
Yes, learning this was crucial for me as well. It's something I'm still learning, but perhaps is the most important thing that has come from my diagnosis. Thanks for your comment!
Diagnosed 4 months ago and still waiting for this to be a positive thing….
I'm 68, self diagnosed 4 years ago. That hit me between the eyes, big time. It has meant ... everything. And I am learning to manage the various stresses. Finally understanding that ... yes, some people do not see the world the way I do ... or rather why I see the world the way I do. Authenticity, not masking, being just me, what I want places me within my overall community with more compassion for everyone.
I love how relatable all of these experiences are. For me, I'd say the diagnosis was life-saving. The past me was miserable, self-loathing and anxious 24/7. Now I can see a future. I want to live this life, but on my terms. I experienced a moment of happiness for the first time in my 40+ years-long life after being diagnosed. It was amazing to suddenly realize that all of that extra weight of anxiety I had been carrying around was gone. It's not gone completely, but just knowing that that moment of happiness can exist keeps me from hitting the ultimate misery.
I just got diagnosed last Friday, my husband has been so kind since learning it's real. Mush more understanding and compassionate.
I just got my diagnosis last Friday as well! My husband has not been very understanding.. he basically accused me of using my diagnosis as a "cop out" for what I now realize are autistic meltdowns and burn outs, and told me he didnt sign up for this. So that sucked.
@ I am so sorry.
That I needed more support in certain areas compared to other people. There can be a variety of different ways to solve a problem and I should not hold myself to overly high expectations
Such an important realization!
After 56 years I can finally give myself grace, accommodation, acceptance and love. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just different. I’m okay with different
The knot tying in the dark analogy just broke my brain in how well it explained my mind
This video made me cry happy tears
Thank you so much!
You’re so welcome!
I’m crying my heart out right now for myself and all those whose letters you have read.
💞
Have anyone in the community been fired from a job because they were too honest. I worked with the public and sometimes they were very frustrating to work with. I remember saying that to the customer and later I was fired. I had no idea what I did was rude or wrong. I now work with kids who are just as extremely honest
You are probably going to have a huge influence on their lives by showing them that honesty is the way to live. I wish you the best of luck in your new career.
Yes. I told them and didnt get my contrat renewed as the only person in my team )and for 5 yrs they had been very satisfied with me)... I know for sure it was due to the diagnosis. ... I wouldnt say it anymore today.
Sitting here in tears because every single one of those 21 ways are something I (and we) can all relate to. After being self-diagnosed for a year now things are still hitting hard and they always will be, but knowing you're truly not alone makes all the difference. I'm also glad I just started with my new counselor. It's a life changing experience. Literally a rebirth in so many ways.
💓
'I have words to understand myself' now that is powerful! Sometimes i struggle with the stereotype autism. That we can't have or do certain things but that's bs. I choose what i want in my autistic body and brain. Thank you!
One of the biggest challenges for me after being diagnosed is that, regardless of how well i start to understand things about myself, and feel that i get better at telling people how things works for me, most still reacts as if i am speaking in a different language. I know that, the deeper i go into understanding myself, the better i get to explain things to others. My hypothesis is that there are a mental barrier in those who dont understand it. I know i explain things in simple ways because open minded people do understand it.
“Giving people the words to describe their experiences” - I find it amazing how the information and descriptions of Autistic experiences match exactly how I have felt so much during my life. Thanks to you, Taylor, and other Autistic content creators who I watch on RUclips such as Orion, Claire and Jenn. You are all doing such a great job to help people make sense of their lives. I should add that I’m only self diagnosed so far.
My assessment results are due any day! But I already feel much less imposter syndrome, and I am much better about advocating for myself and communicating my support needs with family. also, early on (beginning on 2024) when my therapist first suggested neurodiversity and autism to me, (what I consider my actual diagnosis, but its not official), and I started researching and relating to nearly everything I read and heard about autistic experiences, my self-hate/harm thoughts improved dramatically. plus, the support groups I've found are lovely and make me feel included, along with the autism yt community, are all things I cherish in my life now that I would have never thought to look for before. thank you
Oooh! Sending good vibes your way.
@@MomontheSpectrum thank you, Taylor!
How long have you been waiting for your results.? My results I think took two or two and a half months?
Age 60 when diagnosed. It now makes sense!
These comments resonate so much with me! Thank you, Taylor, and all the commenters who shared their positive reactions to their diagnoses. ❤️
These are great examples, thank you for sharing! I found this community just as I was going through the diagnosis process 3 years ago and it has been so helpful. Knowing there are others out there that experience life similarly to the way I do makes me feel less alone. 💞
So glad you’re part of the community!
Thank you for sharing the positive aspects of the diagnosis, even if there are many of them that I am not experiencing yet or will never do.
Your work deserves to keep watching the ads to jelp you monetize the videos.
“Finally found my tribe” resonates deeply with me. As a late identified (not diagnosed as I’m not diseased) autistic, I felt so broken.
As the saying goes, I’m a perfect zebra, not a defective horse.
glad you're part of the community!! zebras welcome :)
@@MomontheSpectrum NEIGH!
To “come back home” I love to listen to your (as well as others’) autism videos. I resonate with practically every single characteristic and have had so much relief and healing since my therapist suggested this as being me at age 52 (about 6 months ago). However, I do get discouraged because my family and everybody else pushes back against it because I seem in so many ways normal to them. I think my husband thinks that if he admits to me being autistic, I will change or think it is a crutch or something. So I keep being tempted to put on masks. I am getting much better at figuring out how to regulate myself and manage my schedule to get me back into routine (imagine this as an autistic person: I am a military wife and was a military child and have lived in 45 different houses in my life. Four different countries I’ve been licensed as a physical therapist in nine different states…. so basically I think I’ve gotten really good at wearing a mask and have fooled everybody).
Anyway, I just wanted to voice this somewhere or to someone. Thank you for listening!
That has to be so frustrating that they aren't believing you. As you said, the reason you seem so "normal" to them is because you had to be. It's a survival strategy to fit in. You deserve the chance to live as your authentic, autistic self and I hope they can make the space for you to explore and live into that!
@@rainbowconnected thank you for the response and encouragement! I’m sure it will keep getting easier (already has) as my loved ones start to “get it” about me more.
Thanks for sharing!
Hello Victoria,
I was a military kid too. My social incompetence was hidden because "friends" cycled through every 6 months or so. I see now how stressful moving was and that I continued a pattern of seeking stress. What a relief to be "free" now at 53. Wishing you the best. Kirsten
@ Thanks for the response Kirsten. Interesting thought… “continuing a pattern of seeking stress.” That makes a ton of sense… I think I sometimes sabotage opportunities for peace by doing just that. It is a process learning to honor our needs, huh? Learning I’m autistic sure is empowering though! ☀️
Hi Taylor, love the way you highlighted these autistic folks and their experience. Thanks for all you do!
you're very welcome! thanks for your comment.
Thank you for sharing this! I have been told that I'm autistic and I know I am but my therapist doesn't believe me when I tried to tell her. She gaslights me about it. I really need to share this with her. Because she needs to know that I'm upset with her.
She doesn't listen to me about it.😢
I'm sorry your therapist is invalidating you. That's really not ok. If you express that you're upset and she doesn't listen and change her behavior, I would highly recommend finding a new therapist. You deserve to be believed, listened to and respected. Those are all so crucial for creating the safe container that therapy requires to work.
@rainbowconnected ❤️ i hate my therapy program and the staff sometimes 😑😒
The first comment about the sudden realisation made me burst out in tears. I've been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember, been hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar just before i turned 30 (now I'm 43). I've always felt that something has been off with that diagnosis, that something was missing and lately I've been in a very dark place. I remembered something an autistic friend said to me years ago that I didn't put much weight into until now when I stumbled across a video about autism. And like others said: Everything fell into place. I am still shellshocked because it explains why I've felt so weird and why people have perceived me as weird since I was a child.
I wish I would have gotten a proper diagnosis earlier because it would have made me not hating myself and not understanding why I didn't fit in. But I feel so much better now that the penny finally dropped, even though I'm still in shock.
I cant wait to get my book in the mail, i wanna improve my life even in smaller ways❤
I hope you love it as much as I do! I really believe in Dr. Paulsen's work and think it will bring you validation and support.
@@MomontheSpectrum im gonna color it in too, as i got the black and white version. Looking forward to reading
"Helpful" doesn't nearly describe what a blessing this video is!! One thousand times, thank you!
you're so welcome! thanks for your comment.
So much love, friends. I’m so grateful for this community and all of our experiences!
Beautiful job, Taylor. I’m definitely in happy tears. Thank you. 😊
🙏🏼
I was diagnosed aged 41 following 12 years of asking Doctors for an assessment, and once I was told it felt like it was such a weight off my shoulders just to know there's nothing "wrong" with me, and it's just how my brain works. It's a huge thing to process and figure out what's me and what was me masking. It also led to me realising that the relationship Ivwas in at the time wasn't healthy as well. I've managed to get away from there, moved back home with family, and am now exploring a new relationship with a fellow autistic, and things just feel so much better.
When I got my test results saying I am autistic I showed it to everyone who had known me more than a year. The universal response was, "Oh, that explains a lot". The second thing that happened was in my AFOL (Adult Fans Of Lego) group after I got diagnosed and started talking about it within six months 6 of the other 8 members of my group were diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
Oh my gosh Yes! All of those things. I'm so much kinder to myself now. Muchios love Taylor x
I might be able to do a diagnosis in a few years in my mid 40s and I’ll be 41 in January. Started getting into self diagnosis right before I turned 34.
My first reactions when getting diagnosed were, "Wait there's a word for this? Doesn't that mean I'm not the only one like this?"
❤ Speechless. Liking this video to boost it.
Thank you so much for your work.
you're very welcome. Thank you for your support! It makes a difference in helping the resources become more easy-to-locate for others.
Awesome video and so many beautiful stories 😊 Also, thanks for mentioning mine 🙏🏻💕
Thank you SO much for sharing!! Your comment in particular made me so happy.
@ feels so wonderful to be part of this community and see so many relate able stories. First time ever that I don’t feel scared to speak openly.
Thanks for making that a possibility through your channel 🙏🏻😊
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, your channel has helped me understand myself better than I ever have before.
I now identify as a self-diagnosed autistic adult. Your videos helped put so much of my life in perspective! Every weird thing about myself suddenly makes sense, and I am overcome by an enormous sense of clarity! THIS is the puzzle piece I have been missing.
I want to thank you with every fiber of my being. It took an emotional ordeal in order for me to reach this point, but now I feel so overwhelmingly relieved. I never understood how important it is to be SEEN. It feels great to be validated, knowing I'm not just some terrible person that people hate for an unknown reason. I know WHY I'm different than the people around me, and that's okay.
I hope to become an active member of this community. I am coming from a background of love and marriage, yet somehow manage to feel so incredibly alone and unseen. I hope finding like-minded people can help ease the pain of not having anyone that just GETS IT.
Taylor, I cannot thank you enough for giving my brain the specific words it needed to hear. You helped me more than you could know
This made me cry! What a beautiful and heartwarming video. Ty for sharing ❤❤
You are so welcome!
This is such an important video - thank you for making and posting it. My heart goes out to those of us who did not survive without a diagnosis (self or official). I am recently self-diagnosed, and the sense of relief is indescribable.
This is so magical and beautiful!
Oh wow you used my comment 😅. Ya the diagnosis really changed my life and really explained alot of what I was going through. Masking was the worst thing I could have done so now I feel I'm acting like my true self. I'm sort of having a redemption arc.
Yes thanks so much for sharing! Was happy to include it.
Sorry in advance if my comment sours this happy post.
I was diagnosed last month and we and my doctor have strong suspicions it also comes with ADHD. To be honest, I didn't take it well. I didn't had any preconceived notions about the topic, I treat everyone with the respect they deserve. It's just... for a long time I've felt broken, that I lack something and craved to be accepted.
This diagnostic more than validate myself as who I am (which in part it did), it felt more like a sentence, I'll never be able to fully solve my problems, only find workarounds to get by. It was hard. Reading it's a disability also affected me a lot, there's a wall I don't think I'll be able to climb.
Reading more about the topic and watching videos like this helps easing my mind, and I appreciate the strengths my condition gives me, but that's only because I rather to see the glass half-full. If I had the choice I'd rather be neurotypical.
It's clear it might take a while to come to terms with it, hope in a couple of years I'm able to look back and smile at this moment.
I wish you all the best as you navigate these strong feelings. If it helps: When I first found out I have ADHD in my mid-thirties (more than 30 years ago), I went through a very painful period of mourning. I eventually got through that and was able to accept the ADHD. When I recently discovered I am also autistic, all of my life suddenly made sense. I am so much happier now that I have a clearer understanding of myself. I sincerely hope you have a similar positive reaction when all is said and done.
Truly appreciate your honesty here. We all have different experiences, and I’ve definitely been through heavier seasons of processing my diagnosis as well. 💓
Pretty understandable, while my experience was the opposite, as in before I was just briken and disabled without any clue of how to do better or excuse of why I need more aid, it is also very normal and understandable to feel trapped by the diagnosis. There is a reason why some people are not advised to get diagnosed.
It is a lot easyer treating someone else with respect and accomodation then having to face oneself will need it....
I hope your perception changes with time once it has helped you finding better ways to deal, but tgere is no shame in it feeling bad now.
Wish you the best
While my experience was the opposite, I can understand how you feel. Is it worth approaching your doctor to ask about access to mental health services to help you process your diagnosis? They may be able to help you find a path through the understandable grieving process, so that you can begin working on solutions that can at least make life slightly easier to deal with day to day.
Something a lot of people have to deal with in their lives when they become or find out they are disabled is what's called "internalized ableism", and it's not shameful to experience that. It takes time and effort to work through that internalized ableism to find a more self-accepting and other-accepting way of thinking, but it can help a lot.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with such difficult thoughts, and I wish you all the best.
The relief, like a lot of people mentioned, was immense. I was hyper self conscious/awkward for awhile since I was seeing everything I do in a new light (late/self diag). I own my wierdness now 😊. The biggest change was my health: no more pressing the preverbial override button or over exerting myself. I took for granted just how much I was doing it and giving myself extra migraines, hair loss, zapping my energy, and feeling consistently terrible in general. Be gentle to yourselves people ❤
Hi Taylor, I'm 50 in a few weeks and I was recently professionally diagnosed and I'm struck by how many people kind of knew I was autistic. Turns out I was the last to know and the only one to be surprised about it, lol. The best part about getting my diagnosis is that it's like having the final piece of the jigsaw that I never knew I needed, but at the same time, I've been looking for all my life. Thanks for your videos ❤ x
you're welcome! thank you for your comment
Heyy, I am sorry for the pessimistic comment, I love what you’re doing, and you’re simply amazing
Thank you, I have had almost the exact same experience this last year since receiving my diagnosis.
Subconsciously unmasking? More awareness indeed but what if you have been masking for so long and now that you know and you’re now subconsciously unmasking more and more?
Could also be that sensory issues are piling up and the lack of energy (burnout) makes you unable to mask as you did before.
Hi, I also feel worse than before knowing, but I understand that it takes long to learn to treat oneself better and discover our true selves and needs. Paul Mikelef from "Autism from the inside" has a video on suddenly being "more autistic". It's normal to become more sensitive. We notice our real needs more, where before we forced ourselves to be tough and "normal". But it can be overwhelming. I tend to stay home more and take little steps into the new reality.
I always wondered why I was so good at clocking autistic people, it wasn't until I was clocked by one myself that it sent me down a rabbit hole of self-discovery and self-diagnosis. I had to get over some of the shame and denial, but now i have so much more grace and compassion for myself, I've been able to be present and in control of life again. I still wish there were more options for professional diagnosis so I could get better accommodations at work, but the relief is good enough for now! Your videos have been so helpful on this journey 💜
Clocking?
Thank you .. your videos are really helping me
You're so welcome!
I just took the first step to an official diagnosis on Friday! Completed the ADOS-2 and some other testy chit-chat portions. I'm so nervous about the rest of it but watching this video made me very hopeful for the future.
This was really helpful! Ironically, I think this video is validation that I can put pursuing a formal diagnosis on the back burner (unless at some point I end up having kids, because it would be useful to have medical confirmation of prior to having a baby).
I'm thankful that I grew up in an environment where I've been accepted with my oddities. I'm so glad this RUclips community exists, though. Getting to know autistic folks like yourself and others on RUclips has REALLY helped me have words to make sense of my experiences. I may not have a formal diagnosis, but hearing others' stories and means of coping has really inspired me to start implementing healthy things in my life that have helped me avoid burn outs and deal with sensitivities. Thanks for all you do!
I am fairly certain that autism explains so much of my existence but asking questions for clairification or to show i am not sure how to react to situations has not worked out so well for me, same goes for using observation to try to learn. I have always viewed being weird as a badge of honor, always told people that yes i was and i thanked them for noticing, the look on their faces in response always tickled my humor. I wish i could figure out the whole communication thing, i wish the others would not be so like they are, this silence is getting supremely boring to endure.
See i always see people going on about how it makes them feel less broken or damaged etc, whereas it was actually entirely the reverse for me, it was confirmation of being broken at a genetic level and basically made me have to rethink my long term goals on things like relationships and starting a family, just seems cruel to knowingly bring a kid in the world knowing they will have those same struggles :/
Thanks for your honesty here. I'm sure you're not alone in feeling these things! There can be so many challenging emotions in processing a diagnosis. I've got a video over my own grief in processing this as well.
I always felt broken , the diagnosis makes it no longer my fault, ot is out of my controll and if others are still lovwly human beings , it cant make me a monster
My childhood wasn't bad, and my adult years would have gone smoother if I'd known earlier. Plus, one way to make life easier for future generations of autists is to have lots of kids so that we make up a larger fraction of the population.
Autism is not hereditary one to one, so having a child does not automatically doom them and even if they got it too, they will probably have it way better with you knowing and being able to help, not force them into harmful coping mechanism and such. Most of autism struggles comes from being undiagnosed and unaccomodated for way to long, but I also get, if you do not want to risk it.
While for me it was the opposite experience, it is neither rare nor hard to get why the diagnosis can feel trapping to you. I just hope, that with time and the diagnosis helping with better coping mechanisms, that feeling changes.
Wishing you the best❤
I didn't know pmdd was this!!! Nuvaring changed my life
Thanks for this. Thanks mostly to the people that shared their experiences too.
Thank you for putting this list together, so helpful.
Glad it was helpful!
I was diagnosed with autism about two weeks ago and have comorbid diagnoses that I knew before too. I am processing but it is definitely a relief to have answers. I would say that I’m glad I have a diagnosis now. Honestly I’m trying not to feel sorry for myself because I have a good education and always did well in school but am not able to have a career. I don’t know what the future holds but a quote that has been inspiring me by Morgan Harper Nichols is “I do not know where tomorrow will lead but I do know I am free to give my all with audacious hope for what could be.”
I want to clarify that I have stress seizures that keep me from a career.
I loved hearing everyone’s experience! You mentioned EMDR and it’s really beneficial btw. I did it some years ago, and I see folks get a lot of great healing from it. 💛
Just ordered the book, can't wait for it to arrive!
Who did?
I love the analogy of untangle the knot in the dark...
I received an assessment from a Clinical Social Worker yesterday who specializes in autism who basically said that Imy as ASD Level 1 as they come. It’s obvious that I’m autistic, and I have an assessment from someone with a Master’s who specializes in autism. But, I’m still going to get an “official” diagnosis. If nothing else it might shed light in other diagnoses. The person I saw yesterday think I also have ADD, so testing might reveal such things. Maybe, maybe not.
Also, I’m new to your channel and it’s been very helpful. Thank you.
Welcome! So glad you're part of the community. Thanks for your comment.
I was diagnosed with Autism 2 weeks ago. I'm in my 50's. All my life has been a struggle. When i was told im autistic my reply was "i thought you would say no"
I explained the many scenarios in my head before i even come out of the house😳 I was told that a lot of Autistic people do that🥺
I love your content!
When I realized I was on the spectrum it was all I could think about or talk about or cared to see content on for almost 3 months. A totally normal response I am told. It was life changing. No longer did I feel like I was constantly just failing at being a person but I was instead just different. In the words of someone wiser than me "There is peace in knowing I was a normal zebra and not a failed horse"
I don't understand how, though. I've known I'm different all my life and it has never made things easier for me.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z probably the fact that I understand now all the things I told myself I was wrong for doing and had to hide constantly are natural parts of me and not something I should feel bad about doing. It helped heal a lot of trauma.
I don't feel like I'm somehow a piece of shit just for needing things to be different. So much of my mental energy was pointed directly at performing being a person all the time. I just for some reason assumed everyone else was running through similar mental exercises to talk to other people.
Realizing so much of my behaviors and psychological energy were associated with masking. I would do things that didn't make me happy but were socially advantageous. Which I thought that sacrifice was something everyone did.
@@Ashley_Obscuro I guess I still don't get it. Sure, knowing I'm on the spectrum has made me realize internally that I'm not some weirdo, but it hasn't changed how others treat me. I'm still discriminated against because of it.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z I get that. Yeah I definitely am not nearly as socially acceptable as I was. That part is much harder with my masking slowly falling away. Life is just easier when I don't need to spend so much energy trying to fight my nature.
Thank you for sharing these, so many beautiful examples that self-accommodation makes a huge impact ❤❤❤
It’s bizarre to me that everyone doesn’t always feel like an alien, weirdo, freak. I thought everyone felt that way all the time 🤷♂️
i feel alot of the comments that you read and alot them could word away better. but going for years just say i have learning disabilities and feeling upset when i couldn't give other more info now being diagnosis i can say yes i have this and this and so that why my brain work that away! i feel joy and sadness about not know sooner! i do hard time find place to make friends still but i hope to find one soon!
I am self diagnosed. I've found that whenever I become obsessive and distressed about a special interest I can stop myself and say that's just my brain, calm down. The other thing is I'm more picky with socializing. Which may cause me issues at work but why should I do the socializing when most other people are better equipped?
Taking the red pill is sooo liberating. ❤
My favorite video Taylor, related to all the insights and experiences! It's like they were inside me! I love color too Taylor!
yay so glad you enjoyed it Adrienne! It was definitely touching to read so many beautiful responses from the community.
Love watching your content
thanks so much! Glad you're part of the community.
how do i go about getting a diagnosis? :( I’ve reached out to some facilities and the one who did respond said they won’t be scheduling until spring of 2026. it just seems so difficult to actually get in to a facility to get diagnosed and the pricing for some places is so much :( just looking for any advice on this🥺
You can check out my Big Autistic Resource Guide for a long list of reputable autism eval providers and they might have shorter wait times/better accessibility. Https://www.MomOnTheSpectrum.life/barg
I would love to learn more about EMDR. How do you treat autistic burnout? Do you have a video about this topic?
Does anyone have the same experience as me? I am awaiting an autism assessment and have been having seizures. I'm being tested for epilepsy and feel like it would be so good to hear some other people who know how I'm existing atm.
How does one get started on getting a diagnosis in Canada? Thank you so much for your vids…I’m learning so much❤️
Not sure specifically about Canada but you can find helpful diagnostic resources and evaluation providers in my Big Autistic Resource Guide: momonthespectrum.life/barg
Also, I think embrace-autism.com might have evaluation providers based in Canada? Can't remember off the top of my head but might be worth checking out.
hoping for advice, because i'm having somewhat the opposite experience ... thinking i'm broken hasn't been my obstacle, i've always just felt i'm on a completely different wavelength, so other people's tuning forks don't vibrate when mine does. by the time of my diagnosis, all my inter-personal momentum from earlier life had dissipated, which means i have no traction in any area of my life, including work. it's hard enough to feel such an enormous gulf of separateness and alone-ness, let alone when that gulf is actively threatening my basic survival ... and with such a lack of common experience or tuning-fork resonance with others i don't see how to overcome it. sure, autism is the reason things are as they are, but it's also the reason i don't have the agency with others to change things.
Love all these! I would like to say a big fuck you to my psychiatrist who told me there was no point in even getting evaluated because at my age there are no therapies to help me. All his other reasons were stupid too. Happy that I have my eval coming up in a couple months now! :)
I want so badly have the time and money for an evaluation.
Check out Wilderwood! They’re the most affordable evals I know of.
Can you do a full review of that book please?
Perhaps it is time to see Autism as a Spectrum of abilities and not a Spectrum of problems? Perhaps Autism IS about a special gifting to address huge complex problems, ability to see "patterns" and comes with an annoying type of straight-faced honesty? Perhaps the emerging Autistic group is best equipped to address the existential problems that face our planet? Perhaps MRIs prove that Autistic brains have more neural connections?
Perhaps Elon Musk should be the Poster Boy for Autism and should be an inspiration for those learning how they can best contribute?
BTW How many here see the humor in the t-shirt depicting a "Melting Rubik's Cube" ???
BE PATIENT . . . DON'T STOP LEARNING . . .
Thank you Tay!!
Yeah no thanks, elon musk is very much not a loster boy I would want to relate to....
Yeah aitosm gives gifts too, but that will nevwr take away from it being a disability and dependend on how bad you got it it is easyer or harder to find the good things or feel like they make up for bad.
Cyying cause tpuching grass is overstimulating is not a superpower nor is being nonverbal and people around you not bothering to dind ways to make up for your communication disability....
Pattern recognition and eye for details can absolutely make us very desired for security jobs and such but there is a danger of expecting inhuman feats and unwillingness to give support
Autism is
Would you recommend going to a psychologist or psychiatrist for assessment? Which is more appropriate? Or other? Ty!
Afraid to go for an evaluation. But my son is severely autistic. He’s non verbal. And is 7 years old.
I'm 33 and right at the start of understanding this. The more I learn the more I realise it applies to me. The biggest feeling I have right now is fear/anxiety. I'm scared of what it all means and I'm struggling with accepting. I'm thinking a formal diagnosis will force me to accept and stop this feeling.
You mentioned a video of yours discusses serotonin, which one is it please? Thanks!
I believe it's this one: ruclips.net/video/Tnz-zcZkWVk/видео.htmlsi=GtBZvACVowsS0_9H
I am looking to get diagnosed myself, yet have been putting off a bit. I feel like I could wrong about being autisic and that itself is causing some internal distress, because if I'm not autisic why am I the way I am... why do I struggle so much? Why do I feel so weird when comparing myself to other people...
At 52 and self-employed, I'm not sure if I need an actual diagnosis ....or if I could even get one because my entire family is dead. There's literally not a single person alive who knew me as a child. At 52 my masking skills are absolutely boss-level so, would a doctor even be able to tell? The signs are obvious to me, and tbh, I've suspected I'm autistic for probably 40 years ...even before anyone looked beyond 6 year old boys obsessed with trains who screamed and rocked and banged their heads.....but, I'm pretty sure that the rest of the world can't see it, although they do still perceive me as odd 😒
Health and medical needs!
Little did we know that there are medical crises caused by the sheer lack of understanding of the link between autism and co-morbidities.
I feel I need to shout these out now… please read twice.
1. Medication paradoxical reactions. This one has cost me not getting adequate help in the ER. Not sure how I survived some of these episodes, where I just took the pills I was given and completely derailed my body.
2. Up to 40% of autistic children succumb to tick borne infections. Not knowing of the meaning of either for most of my life so far let alone their correlation; not having any doctor up until I was 32 think of this… has cost me 20 years of excruciating pains,confusion, struggles I do not want to remember. It was not addressed until I became mostly bed bound with neurological infection.
These diagnoses are difficult in themselves to think of, unless we are all more aware of the data. That lack of factual knowledge costs us too much, knowledge that is available!
Videos specifically on medical co-morbidities are invaluable! This definitely is life saving. Because they make that knowledge palpable and accessible to more people.
I completely changed the way I take medications thanks to online videos like this one, while researching autism. I cannot stress how needed this work that Taylor and other content creators are doing is. Thank you!
All well and good, but how does it change anything for me? People still won't understand me and I'll still despise them.
Omg when my psychiatrist mentioned I may be on the spectrum, everything came into focus. I am not a weirdo. I now know why I have only one friend..I am not unloveable
But how does it make you more lovable? I'm definitely on the spectrum and knowing this hasn't changed how people treat me.
❤
Hey I’m looking for a free autistic community that is FREE. Can anyone help me?
Asperger Experts has a free online community! www.aspergerexperts.com/community
I have other free resources in my Big Autistic Resource Guide: www.momonthespectrum.life/barg
I'm already so tired and frustrated. I've been wondering if it's even worth going for an official diagnosis. The medical system in my country is pretty backwards too, and I've read some real horror stories from people who tried to get diagnosed and the docs were less than helpful.
Genuinely not sure if it's worth the hassle for me. 😮💨
I've just followed you
Yay! Welcome to the community.
Nice
I suspect I am on the spectrum and am in the process of being diagnosed.
So, clothing textures are supposed to be a huge thing with autistic folks, right? Because, as a fundie raised AFAB child, I was forced to wear “modest” clothing. Most of it was heavy and loose; long denim skirts, pullover sweatshirts, boys athletic shorts, oversized tee shirts, etc. Those textures rubbing my skin literally make nauseous, or like I want to unzip my skin and step out of it. I’ll wear pajama pants, which are looser, but only if they’re lightweight. The only thing that doesn’t make me feel icky all over are snug and/or lightweight things, like leggings, skinny jeans, fitted tees, and fuzzy socks. It was more than just a “rebellious/Jezebel spirit”, it was me feeling disgusted by thick cotton and heavy denim rubbing my skin. I know autism isn’t a monolith by any means, but could that potentially be a sign I am? I also remember constantly getting physically punished (I don’t know if RUclips will allow me to use the actual words) for my physical mannerisms because “Do you want people to think you’re autistic or something? Quit that!” It’s just been on my mind a LOT lately
#20 ❤