I had no clue John Green had OCD. I'm struggling with it a lot right now, and one thing about it is it feels very lonely. This helped me feel a little less lonely.
OCD feels like there’s a nagging parasite inside of your psyche constantly showing you the most horrific things imaginable. I have health and somatic OCD and never feel safe in my own skin anymore. I believe that I’m always seconds away from dying. I can’t sleep without having night terrors, I can’t ever relax or enjoy life. My mind warps everything I used to enjoy through a really sick, deeply disturbing lens. I don’t feel like I own or control my mind anymore. It requires so much effort to have a thought that I actually want to have. It’s really comforting to hear about how “loud” and “real” these OCD thoughts feel in others as well.
Hello, your comment makes me cry. I have the same type of OCD you have/described, and it is terrible! Medication helped me immensely. But I thought I was "better" and weaned off. 3 months later, and I am in a really bad place again! Started back on the meds 4 days ago. I feel like talk therapy doesn't help much for our kind of OCD. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.
We appreciate you taking the time to share some of your story with us. You are not alone. Exposure Response Prevention therapy teaches us to confront our obsessions and sit with the discomfort we feel around them. Then, we learn to resist the urge to do compulsions. It's customized for each person and their unique needs, but here's how ERP generally works: After asking you about your specific symptoms, a trained therapist who specializes in OCD creates your ERP therapy plan. Based on that, you'll work together to rank your fears or triggers based on how stressful they seem-this way, you can gain coping skills gradually without getting overwhelmed. Always remember, you are stronger than your OCD.
I was just diagnosed with OCD yesterday and am beginning my treatment journey. It’s nice to hear that I’m not alone. I’ve been a long time vlogbrothers fan, so it’s nice to hear more about John’s experience. Thank you for sharing!
Someone is about to break up with me or someone secretly hates me has plagued my entire life and has manifested breakups before in my life....probably from my awkward emotions or actions rooted in those thoughts because it has literally happened right after having those thoughts!
The part they said about time lost and not being the captain really struck me. I’ve spent hundred of hours in behaviors that I didn’t realize were compulsive or checking behaviors. If I found a way to manage this I’d be so grateful. I’m going to start treatment for my ocd soon
This conversation is frickin' helpful. Really really really appreciate this. I've had this all my life (60+ years) and it was in a 3rd round of therapy that this diagnosis was suggested. I'm really glad it was. Therapy has taken a more productive direction and I am much better at handling the "noise".
Excellent talk. I also have OCD and it can make me suffer quite a bit. Glad to hear others got help that works. I'm also in therapy and am tackling this and other personal matters 😊
I read Turtles all the Way Down during High School. I had just gotten out of the thick of it with my OCD, but still felt very scared. I thought every interaction put me in danger of developing a new theme and I didn’t have a support system that understood my OCD. Despite my OCD themes not being portrayed in TATWD, this book let me accept parts of myself I didn’t know how to love. I feel very grateful to John for his advocacy and for nerdfighteria. Clicking on this video felt like visiting an old friend and that is nice.
Yes I have lost so much time, so many hours to try and reassure myself.. 😔 it’s better now but I still check occasionally and if I’m having a pretty unregulated day I check much more and the thoughts are worse 23:52 the part where he says how the OCD wants something different for his life is so real… I feel the same way, like this voice wants me to do things I don’t want to do. It can be very distressing.
This was me with intrusive and unwanted thoughts ! Medication has helped so much. Also medication wasn’t a first line of defense. It took me years to try it!
For months I started to have these nagging intrusive thoughts that I couldn't get rid of that made me question my values, my memory, my relationships, my abilities, my worth and I have normally always been a person who has a very clear sense of self. I remember having a conversation with my mom who is a psychologist and I was sharing about how I kept replaying every terrible interaction I had that week over and over and over again to the point that upon getting back from school I wouldn't even be able to function. (even though these were with people who honestly had little effect on my life, my future and who I honestly wouldn't have gave a dam what they thought of me two years earlier. My Mom who is a psychologist said something to the effect of "Your acting like you have OCD or something" Then I looked it up and I was shocked how many of the symptoms I had.
This was a great interview! Thanks so much for sharing it. I related so much to the idea that the thoughts we don't like we end up checking and wanting reassurance because we hate them so much.
I have had OCD since I was a kid. Back then, it was simple: I had to do a particular thing a certain number of times. Later, it escalated to me obsessing over cleanliness, especially with washrooms. The floodgates really opened when I started having nightmares and intrusive thoughts. Being a voracious reader, my mind began portraying me as a negative or harmful person, and I started believing I was that person. It scared my family so much. For a while, I felt somewhat better-particularly during my post-graduation (MPH) when I was constantly busy. But during my final semester, I developed severe anxiety. Whenever I saw people, I felt like I would simply fall, lose consciousness. The voices in my head became unbearably loud. Although I’ve gotten a little better since then, I’m still far from okay. Now, it’s worse. The thoughts have become so LOUD that I feel like I want to hurt myself or even others. I’ve been through therapies and treatments, but nothing has worked. Luckily, i have a strong support from my family and friends but still i am scared. So scared. The voices are SOO GODAMNNN LOUDD I feel like these voices will stay with me forever, and they’ll never let me win. All I want now is to sleep and never wake up. That’s my only prayer. I despise my existence.
I've been there many times. In fact, even a week ago. It feels like I've never even had one single good week in my life. Days, maybe. But listening to people's stories of recovery gives me hope. I've just never had the right therapists (Which is awful, but a whole other story). You're not the only one feeling this way!
@@susmithamanasa1978 Honestly, I don't know. I'm currently trying to take one day after the other, sometimes even just one minute after the other. I have realized only recently that I took on the habit of shaming and punishing myself from my caregivers, and that I have never learned to treat myself with kindness. So I'm trying to do that now. I'm trying to stop shaming and guilting myself, for not being able to function like a "normal" person. I'm trying to celebrate even the smallest amount of ground I can get back from OCD, even though the voices in my head tell me it's not enough and it never will be. I'm trying to stop gaslighting myself, because it's NOT ME. I don't know if you can relate, but I sure hope you hang in there for YOURSELF, not your family!
@@pi2080 I feel exactly the same way you do. But guilt is something, I am unable to let go. It is creeping into my soul like leprosy. I just.. just want to end this but i don't know how. Like you said I will try to enjoy the smallest things. Thank you!
At 15, I once rode my bike in a rush and _seemingly_ risked somebody's safety as they opened the door of a bakery to come out. They were totally fine and hadn't been close enough, but the "I'll risk it" plan that sprang "consciously" made me wonder if I was bad. To this day, I still question it. Feel free to ask for clarification; I have to go to work soon and didn't have time to elaborate. Meanwhile, does anyone else act _in the moment/second_ as their OCD and question if they meant to do something bad?
I believe it is spelled "valence" which basically means value. So they were saying if a comment has even the smallest bit of value or relevance to one's self it's enough to create a spiral
I'll spend hours and hours a day checking the internet for help with my homework. Is this OCD or is this an equal opportunity problem? If I spend hours watching videos about the ising model and get a bad grade because it wasn't what the professor was looking for, is this about the ising model or is this about what the professor wants to believe? This is why I want STEM degree requirements abolished, because this tenured STEM professor has a computer in his office that I don't have access to that teaches him the correct answer according to the people who have tenure in STEM. Dmitri has his right answers that the professor disagrees with so Dmitri also checks up with the professor constantly to make sure he's doing the thing the professor wants. Professor would say standing in line at the grocery store could be modeled as a chain of atoms.
I had no clue John Green had OCD. I'm struggling with it a lot right now, and one thing about it is it feels very lonely. This helped me feel a little less lonely.
Soooo cool to see John Green here. Thanks for spreading awareness! 💜
You’re one of my favorite
❤
OCD feels like there’s a nagging parasite inside of your psyche constantly showing you the most horrific things imaginable. I have health and somatic OCD and never feel safe in my own skin anymore. I believe that I’m always seconds away from dying. I can’t sleep without having night terrors, I can’t ever relax or enjoy life. My mind warps everything I used to enjoy through a really sick, deeply disturbing lens. I don’t feel like I own or control my mind anymore. It requires so much effort to have a thought that I actually want to have. It’s really comforting to hear about how “loud” and “real” these OCD thoughts feel in others as well.
Hello, your comment makes me cry. I have the same type of OCD you have/described, and it is terrible! Medication helped me immensely. But I thought I was "better" and weaned off. 3 months later, and I am in a really bad place again! Started back on the meds 4 days ago. I feel like talk therapy doesn't help much for our kind of OCD. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.
We appreciate you taking the time to share some of your story with us. You are not alone. Exposure Response Prevention therapy teaches us to confront our obsessions and sit with the discomfort we feel around them. Then, we learn to resist the urge to do compulsions. It's customized for each person and their unique needs, but here's how ERP generally works: After asking you about your specific symptoms, a trained therapist who specializes in OCD creates your ERP therapy plan. Based on that, you'll work together to rank your fears or triggers based on how stressful they seem-this way, you can gain coping skills gradually without getting overwhelmed.
Always remember, you are stronger than your OCD.
somatic ocd is so scary. :’(
I was just diagnosed with OCD yesterday and am beginning my treatment journey. It’s nice to hear that I’m not alone. I’ve been a long time vlogbrothers fan, so it’s nice to hear more about John’s experience. Thank you for sharing!
You've got this... and you're definitely not alone. ❤
Someone is about to break up with me or someone secretly hates me has plagued my entire life and has manifested breakups before in my life....probably from my awkward emotions or actions rooted in those thoughts because it has literally happened right after having those thoughts!
The part they said about time lost and not being the captain really struck me. I’ve spent hundred of hours in behaviors that I didn’t realize were compulsive or checking behaviors. If I found a way to manage this I’d be so grateful. I’m going to start treatment for my ocd soon
This conversation is frickin' helpful. Really really really appreciate this. I've had this all my life (60+ years) and it was in a 3rd round of therapy that this diagnosis was suggested. I'm really glad it was. Therapy has taken a more productive direction and I am much better at handling the "noise".
That's amazing to hear! OCD can be challenging to manage, but you're stronger than your OCD. Keep up all the hard work!
Excellent talk. I also have OCD and it can make me suffer quite a bit. Glad to hear others got help that works. I'm also in therapy and am tackling this and other personal matters 😊
When ocd is bad it’s hell of earth, will take you to the edge of sanity, anxiety some like me have chronic insomnia because of it and depression
I read Turtles all the Way Down during High School. I had just gotten out of the thick of it with my OCD, but still felt very scared. I thought every interaction put me in danger of developing a new theme and I didn’t have a support system that understood my OCD. Despite my OCD themes not being portrayed in TATWD, this book let me accept parts of myself I didn’t know how to love. I feel very grateful to John for his advocacy and for nerdfighteria. Clicking on this video felt like visiting an old friend and that is nice.
Love this! Thank you for sharing❤
Yes I have lost so much time, so many hours to try and reassure myself.. 😔 it’s better now but I still check occasionally and if I’m having a pretty unregulated day I check much more and the thoughts are worse
23:52 the part where he says how the OCD wants something different for his life is so real… I feel the same way, like this voice wants me to do things I don’t want to do. It can be very distressing.
You are not alone. Always remember, you are stronger than your OCD.
@ thank you, I am stronger yes 💜
This was me with intrusive and unwanted thoughts ! Medication has helped so much.
Also medication wasn’t a first line of defense. It took me years to try it!
For months I started to have these nagging intrusive thoughts that I couldn't get rid of that made me question my values, my memory, my relationships, my abilities, my worth and I have normally always been a person who has a very clear sense of self. I remember having a conversation with my mom who is a psychologist and I was sharing about how I kept replaying every terrible interaction I had that week over and over and over again to the point that upon getting back from school I wouldn't even be able to function. (even though these were with people who honestly had little effect on my life, my future and who I honestly wouldn't have gave a dam what they thought of me two years earlier. My Mom who is a psychologist said something to the effect of "Your acting like you have OCD or something" Then I looked it up and I was shocked how many of the symptoms I had.
Girl,I totally do the smiling, I didn't know it was OCD 😢
This was a great interview! Thanks so much for sharing it. I related so much to the idea that the thoughts we don't like we end up checking and wanting reassurance because we hate them so much.
Thank you for tuning in! We are so glad to hear that you enjoyed the interview!
Talk therapy has personally helped me a lot with my OCD
I have had OCD since I was a kid. Back then, it was simple: I had to do a particular thing a certain number of times. Later, it escalated to me obsessing over cleanliness, especially with washrooms. The floodgates really opened when I started having nightmares and intrusive thoughts. Being a voracious reader, my mind began portraying me as a negative or harmful person, and I started believing I was that person. It scared my family so much.
For a while, I felt somewhat better-particularly during my post-graduation (MPH) when I was constantly busy. But during my final semester, I developed severe anxiety. Whenever I saw people, I felt like I would simply fall, lose consciousness. The voices in my head became unbearably loud. Although I’ve gotten a little better since then, I’m still far from okay.
Now, it’s worse. The thoughts have become so LOUD that I feel like I want to hurt myself or even others. I’ve been through therapies and treatments, but nothing has worked. Luckily, i have a strong support from my family and friends but still i am scared. So scared. The voices are SOO GODAMNNN LOUDD I feel like these voices will stay with me forever, and they’ll never let me win.
All I want now is to sleep and never wake up. That’s my only prayer. I despise my existence.
I've been there many times. In fact, even a week ago. It feels like I've never even had one single good week in my life. Days, maybe. But listening to people's stories of recovery gives me hope. I've just never had the right therapists (Which is awful, but a whole other story). You're not the only one feeling this way!
@pi2080 How are you dealing with it?
I am going insane. Absolutely! This is NOT ME. I feel like giving up each day but i love my family.
@@susmithamanasa1978 Honestly, I don't know. I'm currently trying to take one day after the other, sometimes even just one minute after the other.
I have realized only recently that I took on the habit of shaming and punishing myself from my caregivers, and that I have never learned to treat myself with kindness.
So I'm trying to do that now.
I'm trying to stop shaming and guilting myself, for not being able to function like a "normal" person. I'm trying to celebrate even the smallest amount of ground I can get back from OCD, even though the voices in my head tell me it's not enough and it never will be. I'm trying to stop gaslighting myself, because it's NOT ME.
I don't know if you can relate, but I sure hope you hang in there for YOURSELF, not your family!
@@pi2080 I feel exactly the same way you do. But guilt is something, I am unable to let go. It is creeping into my soul like leprosy. I just.. just want to end this but i don't know how. Like you said I will try to enjoy the smallest things. Thank you!
Great upload both of you . The lady on here has the most beautiful hair colours
At 15, I once rode my bike in a rush and _seemingly_ risked somebody's safety as they opened the door of a bakery to come out. They were totally fine and hadn't been close enough, but the "I'll risk it" plan that sprang "consciously" made me wonder if I was bad. To this day, I still question it. Feel free to ask for clarification; I have to go to work soon and didn't have time to elaborate.
Meanwhile, does anyone else act _in the moment/second_ as their OCD and question if they meant to do something bad?
Thanks for sharing your experience ✌
Thank you for tuning in!
it's super easy to use and manage
but sometimes
it is spinning
I discover that I have ocd recently. I feel trap in doubt and can't move forward in life. I suffer with that a lot. What a thief of time.
Thank you!!
You are welcome! Thank you for tuning in!
If I post a quote from a NOCD site, can I hear clarification on it?
I’m having one now.
What does "veilance" mean? Couldn't find the translation.
I believe it is spelled "valence" which basically means value. So they were saying if a comment has even the smallest bit of value or relevance to one's self it's enough to create a spiral
@@moodygirlmusic thank you!
wtvr
I'll spend hours and hours a day checking the internet for help with my homework. Is this OCD or is this an equal opportunity problem? If I spend hours watching videos about the ising model and get a bad grade because it wasn't what the professor was looking for, is this about the ising model or is this about what the professor wants to believe? This is why I want STEM degree requirements abolished, because this tenured STEM professor has a computer in his office that I don't have access to that teaches him the correct answer according to the people who have tenure in STEM. Dmitri has his right answers that the professor disagrees with so Dmitri also checks up with the professor constantly to make sure he's doing the thing the professor wants. Professor would say standing in line at the grocery store could be modeled as a chain of atoms.
Thick of it😂