How is John just going to drop this absolute elder (beyond his years) wisdom?!? "You are trying to view through the lense of the universal, something that is intensely personal." That hit hard!
The brotherly love - which Nerdfighteria shares across and up and over and all around - is beautiful. I hope the guys sense that “we” are no longer a young community and their responsibility to protect and grow - we are equally here for the bros, too.
Vlogbrothers sponsorship recipient here. I am telling you: APPLY. I simply COULD NOT BELIEVE there was an audience for the EXTREMELY esoteric stuff I like to write about. But I still applied for a grant for the heck of it. Getting a VB grant won’t instantly make your project self sustaining-but it ABSOLUTELY can put your project on a path towards viability. You will be SHOCKED by how interesting your ideas actually are. I promise.
Dude! I'm so glad I just saw this comment. I'm in the (very) early stages of trying to make a channel like yours, and as a Biochem major I'm so excited to see people making the kinds of videos I wish I had 10 years ago!
I'm not sharing my conclusions about life and parenting because I don't want several particular individuals to be watching me 😢 Suggestions to overcome that one when you have no support base? Because I could really do with some
It's kind of fascinating seeing John being the optimist and Hank struggling with anxiety, since it's usually... the opposite. But also a clear big brother moment for John and calling upon his own experience.
This kind of felt like a private conversation I wasn't really supposed to witness, but I appreciate you being so vulnerable. Hank, you're doing a great job. Don't overdo it. You're amazing and don't need to worry. I know that probably doesn't help much but hopefully it helps a little.
I am very grateful for this video because I respect these two so much and its nice to see them grapple with the things I have to deal with in my life too. It makes me feel less alone. I don't know if they sat down in front of the camera with the intention of having this conversation, but I'm glad they did.
As an older brother, I really admired what John did around 4:10. Working through a crisis with your siblings takes such a careful tightrope of "Your feelings are super valid" and "But here's something you might not have considered you super need to hear" and he walked it perfectly. Thanks for working through this with a camera on, it's genuinely helpful in this weird, weird time.
This type of vulnerability, love and lack of judgement feels so rare lately. Being able too watch this conversation is so valuable to the public. AKA, even Hanks anxiety has resulted in value to the world.
I've been the younger sibling in this scenario before, and this right here is why I trust my big sister's advice above almost everyone else's. Good advice from a sibling who's been where you currently are is invaluable.
Knowing this was a Hank edit and therefore he had the power to put John’s book over John’s face instead for once, and seeing it done, was a beautiful next chapter in The Bit™️.
Brotherhood 2.0 - Brothers learning to communicate and build a community together. Brotherhood 3.0 - Hank makes everything and John grows through the sharing of his own struggles while the community grows. BROTHERHOOD 4.0! - Hank and John learn to enjoy depth in their community and see it doesn’t always have to grow outward. Then John gets to be the one helping Hank through mental health! While the world around us may give me anxiety, this era of brotherhood gives me hope and joy.
"There's a lot of things to care about, and I don't labor under the delusion that the thing I care about is the most important one." This feels like something my American Literature class should have taught me in Junior year in 2012-2013
If we could all agree on what was the most important thing and put all our energy into it, sure, we'd make phenomenal progress in a short time and that would be great. But there is so much that needs attention a) we're never going to agree and b) other things will get worse while we're working on the one thing. We need to spread the work around not only so that we can keep making everything better even if it is slower than we'd like but also to keep from getting in each other's way.
6:06 hank is so science brained he expects even his self-worth to be peer-reviewed! (said lightheartedly) i appreciate you guys sharing this conversation with us, my struggles (seem to) come from a place more similar to johns than hanks, so hearing about hanks genuinely helps me understand the variety of struggles in humanity and their different origins/manifestations
@@jedidiahhenry6020 Yes there is a difference in fear type and depth when it is for other people ( so very many ) and ourselves. My terror and fear for the the biosphere is quite different from my fear of my own maybe life threatening illness.
2:33 John evil eying the audience as Hank dismisses his anxiety is the epitome of he may not think so but *breaks the 4th wall* I know and you know that we know that he does. ❤
Remember when in the past, we would always wish reunion videos could be longer than 4 minutes? I'm so glad we can do that now. This video wouldn't have hit nearly as hard otherwise.
I am a cancer survivor here to validate you, Hank. I'm 5 years from diagnosis as of last month. I had greater anxiety in the 2 years *after* I had finished my cancer treatment than I did before, or even during it, and the anxiety I felt didn't always have a direct link to something "cancer related," it just seemed to be a general increase in anxiety as a whole. It's not something that's talked about enough. I hope you know that it gets better, and that you are not alone in the way you're feeling.
My mom had cancer in 1989, long enough that we usually forget she had cancer. It certainly doesn't cross our minds daily anymore. It's like remembering a childhood bully. It comes up sometimes, but most of the time we carry on without his lingering memory, and that is pretty great!
It is crazy good how vulnerable Hank has chosen to be. It's almost comical how much better John understands Hank than Hank understands himself right now. I hope Hank listens to John and the rest of his family.
Nerdfighter therapist here: Of course this is scary, Hank. Lack of understanding is lack of control, and real or perceived lack of control is a huge piece that underpins anxiety. It must be so hard to not understand if understanding feels core to who you are. I know it doesn’t penetrate but that’s not all or even most of what’s valuable about you. You’re great as you are, Hank, though I can get why it’s hard to see that.
He's spent so long staring at his reflection on a screen, in an editing room, in star ratings, in the eyes of others, that he doesn't see his self anymore. Or maybe that happened first, because he couldn't see himself he became transfixed by his reflection
Hank looks so young in this video. Like maybe it’s the vulnerability you’re showing, but it’s really giving baby brother vibes, and John’s reassurance and sort of walking you through this experience of Anxiety is so lovingly big brother 🥰 Y’all have the best sibling relationship in the public eye by far, and I strive to foster this type of bond with my own siblings ❤❤❤
That man has gravitas. I love that we get to watch both these men grow old together and still be good to each other. Makes me wish I had a brother like this.
Hank. Something my mother taught me when I was young: The best managers don't know anything about anything - but they know who to ask. You're just becoming a better manager. REJOICE!
@@vlogbrothersThat is totally ok, if there's one thing I've learned from standing in the front of a classroom every day it's that being "on" all the time is fraggelrocking exhausting, and focusing on being awesome all the time has got to be just as hard. What is it John quotes all the time? "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice"? As long as we're moving in the right direction I think it's fine to stumble once in a while. I see my students stumble every day, but they are still moving forward, we just gotta keep doing the same. I think having that ability is pretty awesome ❤ and honestly, nobody expects you to be perfect, none of us are 🤷♀️
I am reminded of the old, i believe John saying that it is important to diversify your identity. If all of your identity is in how others see you, it's vulnerable to crashing, if its all in being the science guy, or the cancer guy, its also liable to crash. The combination of all the things you love, do, and think about can be broad enough to withstand failures or perceived failures in one part or another
“Something’s coming and you don’t know what it is and it might crash you into the reef” is such a perfect summary of how I’ve been feeling for past few weeks. It’s also kind of wild, as someone with clinical anxiety, to watch Hank experience it for the first time, and John so gently walking him through it ❤
i remember reading the intro to the anthropocene reviewd and how hank was always there to calm john's anxieties. it's so sweet to see that the pendulum swings both ways.
Greenbros, I've been dealing with a lost identity and this video couldn't have hit at a better time. I finished my PhD and don't have any direction, and the feelings you're talking about is precisely how I feel. Things are slipping by and the issues of the past that weren't addressed have mounted. I love you and this beautiful community. This darkness is hard, it's uncomfortable, and getting things straight feels difficult. I hope we all find ways to navigate the difficult paths we walk through. Hank, your vulnerability is admirable, and I know that your hollowness is not alone, it is filled with all the good vibes you've brought to us, level headed concerns over realistic problems, and just being a human.
The loss of a prior identity marker (academic or professional achievement) is so real -- felt it strongly after finishing my masters. Things will get better eventually
What Hank said at 7:16 about being interested jives with something I learned - that curiosity is often the antidote to just about any difficult emotion. Anxiety, pain, fear, grief, regret. etc. Sometimes it's too hard to be positive, but we can all be curious about where we're at and where we're going. Curiosity opens both internal doors into our own psyche as well as external doors leading to real world knowledge and solutions.
It's how my kid knows his Depression is acting up, actually. When he isn't finding interest (not even joy, just interest) in things, he deploys his various strategies to combat the grey fog.
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." I don't know who said that but I learned that it's true a long time ago and try to stick to it.
As someone with chronic illnesses & disabilities, who feels somewhat left behind by almost everything, Vlogbrothers & Nerdfighteria has always felt like a steady, calming place. The way you don't chase exponential growth in everything & don't make everything into an ad opportunity, and still have that old internet feel, is so reassuring honestly.
"I'm going to continue to try to do good in the world not so that it will be observed, but because it's fulfilling." This hit a lot harder than I think you intended it to, John. _Am I fulfilled?_
The anxiety is real, and the very reasonable reasons for it may or may not come to pass. As a person with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, this feels like nothing new. It sucks having your mind stuck in the worst-case scenario. Most of my GAD fears haven’t turned out as bad as I’d feared, but the fear persists. Don’t forget that you’re not alone. Not only can people empathize with you, but there can be strength in numbers if you need to fight back. We’re in this together.
And for anyone with anxiety, see a therapist. In person, online, even group might do well. If the anxiety is over putting yourself out there, don't do it all at once. Do it in tiny steps. Honestly the hardest part about therapy is starting. The second hardest is finding the right therapist. But as someone who has been dealing with anxiety since college (mostly existential, but since COVID it has morphed into more physical and body, which is exciting) the rush I get after talking with my therapist about some random anxiety thoughts I had during the week, it's like none other. And a good therapist can challenge and help you come to realizations about your anxiety that may not necessarily get rid of it, but will ease it greatly, or give you strategies to cope with the anxiety as it happens.
The notion of perceiving yourself through how others perceive you online - and how that can suddenly collapse when the media landscape undergoes dramatic, unexpected change - is such an important concept, and probably one that we should think about a lot more.
"Each of us can only care about so many important things" is such a powerful piece of advice. I'm sure a lot of people needed to hear that, I know I did. Thank you John. You guys are incredible
Seeing someone as awesome as Hank Green going through similar emotions as me is extremely powerful for me and really made me process my own emotions differently. Thank you for publicly discussing this, I really appreciate it. You've got this Hank! DFTBA
While having extremely knowledgeable and reliable hank has been such a boon, it is also really reassuring to see that the people we look up to are experiencing the same concerns and lack of control that I feel. You're both incredible and thank you for your work but also for your honesty and vulnerability
Please look after yourself Hank. Your mental health is as important now as your medical health was last year. Please take the time or step back if you need - nerdfighteria will be here and support you regardless.
I'd even say mental health is medical health, right? Can't have mental without a brain and can't have brain without body because body is brain and brain is body. The journey with serious illness is so much longer and more meandering than cell counts and other concrete tests make it seem.
I really admire John's patience and generosity here. When people around me get their first taste of the misery I've known for much of my life, it’s tempting to just say, "Yeah, welcome to the club. I told you it was bad down here." I know that's unkind, and I try not to let it leave my head, but my first instinct definitely isn't generosity.
Thank you so much for posting this. Most of what we see online is either people only showing us the positives and the highs of their life, or acknowledging their lows and problems- but only after they're resolved. It's rare for someone to let us see them struggling in real time, the chaos of it all- but seeing it makes me feel less alone in my struggles. And Hank, take it from someone who's been dealing with anxiety since she was a child- this feeling of helplessness never completely goes away, but over time you'll find ways to deal with it, lessen its impact on you, and you'll continue living. Just try and keep that in mind- your brain is lying to you. Not everything can go right, but not everything will go wrong; and even when things go wrong, it's not the end of the world.
This reminds me of a saying I heard: "don't believe everything you think". It's especially important when you're dealing with mental illness, as mental illness not only distorts the way you think, it also causes you to not see that that's happening.
Damn. I needed to hear this. Over the past 16 years having you two have been like the Sage Adults I look up to for guidance. Thank you for continuing to do that for me in my 30s.
That "oh interesting" at 6:16 was peak big brothering for me. Hank, you are so valuable to the world, Nerdfighters, your community and your family in so so many ways and not a single one of those in contingent on you being able to accurately predict what's going to happen with generative AI or how the election is going to go. To me, it is your inherent 'youness' that you bring to the table that is by far the most important thing.
The Green brothers are going through a Hair Moment together in this video ♥This is a very sweet video. If I were to comment on Hank's anxiety, I might suggest that what he's experiencing is being at the very "crest" of the wave - and the feeling there that you could fall either way (ahead or behind), but that the real fear is of falling down. That this is the peak. And the obvious fear that you can't predict the future - and the tremendously good news is that you cannot, at all, whatsoever. 😂 Also this is just two brothers aging together, which is something I can directly relate to and I absolutely adore. The future is weird and unpredictable and as we age the world changes more and more from the world that we thought was fixed and immutable when we were children. And this isn't a lesson we learn all at once, this is something we learn slowly and more fully over time. The world's gonna be okay, we're all (mostly) going to be okay. It's going to get weirder! But the amazing news is that we get to be here to see it, and that's Pretty Neat.
"Working Through a Crisis with My Brother" Sorry, my automatic assumption was the other brother was having a crisis. This is a refreshing change of pace :) And Hank, you are doing a good job.
Yeah, I just assumed it was John as well. Which was probably their intention keeping it nonspecific lol, SURPRISE! It's Hank having a rough time this go around!
Hank keeps trying to surf the wave, but the ocean keeps getting bigger. This is why any ocean watching career (from media, to VC, to news) often means over the years you specialize a bit more and bring on junior associates to help watch different parts of the ocean more deeply. No one can do it all, even when we all feel the compulsion and anxiety to try.
Dad taught me to be a "global citizen" and pay attention and be informed. For a long time that was important to me and became a part of me and how others understood me. Letting go of that when things got "too damn dire" was hard. But I did. And I dropped out of the information loop in defense of my own mental health. I've been "news light" for a couple of years now and it's been VERY GOOD FOR ME. It's not always the best thing to ride that wave Hank. Do it when you can, but give yourself a break. I know we will.
I had to do this too. I still struggle with feeling guilty about it. But it has given me space to be more present in my community and with my friends and neighbors in a way that I've never experienced before. Also more focused on nerdfighteria and specific communities when I am online. My local world is so much more pleasant and hopeful and supportive than the global online one. And I think it's ok to be more of a local citizen. Hoping to have an impact globally has been a recipe for dissatisfaction and like John said, despair. I'm not naive or completely ignorant, I know the major things that are happening in world news, but I've been able to sustain so much more hope with a degree of separation and living more in the real world.
THERE IS VALUE IN THE WORK ITSELF ❤ This is the journey of a lifetime - deciding what you believe to be valuable despite what others may think (after all, we'll never please everyone or even all the people we most want to please). It's always so hard!! It's okay to be figuring it out I think. I think you know when it clicks mentally and/or you get the peaceful, joyful feeling inside.
This was really really powerful, thanks brothers Green 💚 I'm so grateful that this community is strong enough and healthy enough to allow you to be comfortable sharing this kind of conversation.
Hank and John, please believe me when I say your existence and your work that you both share with Nerdfighteria has been immeasurably important to my life. Thank you thank you. Your work makes such a difference in so many ways. Thank you. 💚
I’m an out of work scientist - from the outside, you guys appear to be doing really good work to help educate the world! I’m away from schools and labs and am yearning for a way to help spread science!
Hank, regardless of what's coming, you've done an amazing job with what has passed. You have helped so many people learn, grow, experience, and laugh over the years. Thank you for that, and good luck with whatever comes tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
"There's a lot of things to care about and I don't labor under the delusion that the one I care about is the most important one" There is so much wisdom in that, it really stood out to me.
god this one bangs i’m only 22 but i feel pretty much everything hank is feeling and it feels just weirdly better to have this both for having hank to relate to and john having such killer advice. nerdfighteria is just so cool
Hi my two favorite son figures, yes, I am that old. The world is going much faster. But, Hank you are in a position to develop a team to untangle these changes and both fulfill your needs to understand and explain our time. Thanks for being Hank and John.
I remember John talking about "empathic listening" on the pod several years ago and it has since been a helpful tool for me in several difficult situations. It was nice to see it in action in this video. Sending positive thoughts to both of you! DFTBA
Two brothers trying to fix each other. I find more value in this content than 90% of the internet. I know it doesn't mean much from random internet guy #37, but you help save lives every day. You are awesome and kind. Just don't forget to be awesome and kind to yourself.
I don’t know when I’ve ever seen two men being that vulnerable talking about anxiety. It makes me want to cry because as a woman worrying about this election I feel like we’re alone on an island with our worry. That felt like some deep solidarity from yall. Thank you ❤
The eyes are the window to the soul, and Hank is a troubled man. You are both amazing gentlemen and your videos are showing everyone that watches them how to be better human beings. The problem with being an exceptional person is that you can feel like a failure when you're just being normal. Which is still pretty amazing. Hank, don't forget that you are awesome. John too :)
5:24 just about *wrecked* me. I had my own near death medical experience with septic shock almost exactly a year ago, and in many ways have found my throughts about mortality and recovery through the medical system and such reflected in Hank's journey and I'm so grateful for that. But then to have John identify and validate through Hank the headspace I'm in and haven't really talked to anyone about with "some of this is about grappling for the first time with your mortality, that you're goung to have a different level of health anxiety in the future..." Was a whole other level. It reminds me why I've stayed in this community in a way I haven't in others
I hear you Hank, when you're used to being the one people rely on, when they tell you you're the stable thing, feeling like you might not be able to do that is so hard and stressful. When you think of yourself as 'the one who has their stuff together' and then you start..not having it together, it feels really destructive to your sense of self and also terrifying. But part of what i love about nerdfighteria is our grace and patience, the understanding that we're all not perfect, not even you guys, and I like us figuring out not being perfect together. When you say this stuff is hard, it makes me feel less bad about it being hard for me.
this feels like a pretty private and intense conversation, but it’s really important too. thanks for being vulnerable and open and putting this out there.
One can tell John's nodding along as an old professional anxiety-haver & older brother. I'm with you, Hank; these upcoming weeks feel like a forecasted hurricane that you can't evacuate from.
The bravery, compassion, empathy, and protectiveness both of you show in this video, is what the word "masculinity" should actually mean. Thank you for sharing this moment.
I feel so seen with everything Hank going through emotionally in this video. And even though not everything applies to me I feel like John's input just helped my heart/brain. Thx guys
I love you guys. I see where Hank is right now. John did an amazing job with this convo. I need to remember the part about "when you pick something go deep." I am way too interested in too many things and it's so hard to pick just one and trust others will do the work in other facets.
This video is important in many ways, not least of which because witnessing a full length conversation working through complex emotions is something many people never experience in their lives unless they are actively a part of it or its made pretty for fiction. It's so necessary to know what kinds of things are normal to say and do at the intersection of casual and serious. As an autistic person I know the social scripts for small talk or a BIG IMPORTANTtm conversation, but that middle ground is so rarely showcased like this. Thanks for everything you do, including just chatting on the internet for so many years.
'Each of us can only care about so many important things' is so reassuring when there are so many important things going on in the world right now and not enough time to give equal attention to everything 😢
This video is so timely for me. My therapist & I were talking about how to validate my own accomplishments while feeling overwhelmed. This was so on point for me. Thank you & we will keep fighting the good fight! Nerds to the rescue!!!❤🎉😊
Every time I’m feeling down about the general feel of culture here in the US or humanity in general, all I have to do is go through a Nerdfightaria comment section. Man… I love this community so much.
Been awhile since I've commented, but been a nerdfighter since 2009. I just cried so damn hard from how inspirational I find Hank and John right now. As a male person in our society just having role models like them to see being vulnerable and analyzing the sources of their anxiety like it's a normal and acceptable thing is really what I needed to see today. Thank you so much for that.
This was really refreshing to hear, and also very relatable. Of all people, I wouldn't have anticipated you'd worry about being good Hank! To me, you're probably inherently, even without any external stuff, a very good person with a good heart. I would trust even without a camera or the internet, you'd be helping out somewhere, somehow
I'm older than both of you and both of you have helped and achieved more than I think I ever will. You have so much to be proud of and I will never worry about you 'turning evil' under duress or success as so many have. I know we judge other people's outsides by the state of our insides, but you should know that most of us are a hot mess on the inside and you do not walk alone in your internal chaos. There's a *lot* to be anxious about right now, but if the fairly decent people stick together and stay fairly decent, I think we'll be okay in the long run.
Gosh we need more of this in the world. Two adult men being vulnerable, talking about their emotions unapologetically. You guys are awesome.
I wish I could 'like' this a million times.
Shush
I couldn’t agree more !
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Sponkey!!!
How is John just going to drop this absolute elder (beyond his years) wisdom?!? "You are trying to view through the lense of the universal, something that is intensely personal." That hit hard!
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Highlight of the video
Whenever something happens, I think to myself "I feel like John should write a book or something , he's pretty good" and then I'm like 😅
I guess it comes with being a Pastor for the teachings of Jesus to help others instead of to look good to other people
I love the moments when we can really see how much of an older brother John is
The look at 6:11
@@smaspa8627 OMG that is the biggest older sibling look, I have had that look many a time
The brotherly love - which Nerdfighteria shares across and up and over and all around - is beautiful. I hope the guys sense that “we” are no longer a young community and their responsibility to protect and grow - we are equally here for the bros, too.
This was my thought too
This is such an insightful comment becuase all of Johns responses to Hank were super older brother-y.
Vlogbrothers sponsorship recipient here. I am telling you: APPLY.
I simply COULD NOT BELIEVE there was an audience for the EXTREMELY esoteric stuff I like to write about. But I still applied for a grant for the heck of it. Getting a VB grant won’t instantly make your project self sustaining-but it ABSOLUTELY can put your project on a path towards viability. You will be SHOCKED by how interesting your ideas actually are. I promise.
Dude! I'm so glad I just saw this comment. I'm in the (very) early stages of trying to make a channel like yours, and as a Biochem major I'm so excited to see people making the kinds of videos I wish I had 10 years ago!
Saw the word esoteric followed by stuff instantly followed. It looks awesome!
Your channel looks awesome. Keep it up! Super glad you got the support.
@@EcoCurious Instant sub -- identical motivation. Let's GOOOOOOOOO
I'm not sharing my conclusions about life and parenting because I don't want several particular individuals to be watching me 😢
Suggestions to overcome that one when you have no support base? Because I could really do with some
John knows what he's talking about, he's a seasoned pro at experiencing anxiety.
I was thinking the same thing. Those positive messages sound so much more beautiful coming from someone with his ethos.
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It's kind of fascinating seeing John being the optimist and Hank struggling with anxiety, since it's usually... the opposite. But also a clear big brother moment for John and calling upon his own experience.
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John saying “did I come on too strong?” After giving his brother loving and supportive advice was just *chefs kiss*
This kind of felt like a private conversation I wasn't really supposed to witness, but I appreciate you being so vulnerable. Hank, you're doing a great job. Don't overdo it. You're amazing and don't need to worry. I know that probably doesn't help much but hopefully it helps a little.
They're amazing, frankly. This really is a wonderful community
@@Martcapt it really is. I'm so grateful to be a part of nerdfighteria, yall have improved (and maybe even saved) my life so many times
i was thinking the same thing. theyre always candid but this was different
I am very grateful for this video because I respect these two so much and its nice to see them grapple with the things I have to deal with in my life too. It makes me feel less alone. I don't know if they sat down in front of the camera with the intention of having this conversation, but I'm glad they did.
Oh I absolutely felt kinda I was eavesdropping
Hank: you're going to think my anxious thoughts are silly
John, who had deeply struggled with anxiety for many years: nope, absolutely I will not
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As an older brother, I really admired what John did around 4:10. Working through a crisis with your siblings takes such a careful tightrope of "Your feelings are super valid" and "But here's something you might not have considered you super need to hear" and he walked it perfectly. Thanks for working through this with a camera on, it's genuinely helpful in this weird, weird time.
This type of vulnerability, love and lack of judgement feels so rare lately. Being able too watch this conversation is so valuable to the public.
AKA, even Hanks anxiety has resulted in value to the world.
I've been this older brother before and it was heartening to see that someone to whom I look up is the same way.
I've been the younger sibling in this scenario before, and this right here is why I trust my big sister's advice above almost everyone else's. Good advice from a sibling who's been where you currently are is invaluable.
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Knowing this was a Hank edit and therefore he had the power to put John’s book over John’s face instead for once, and seeing it done, was a beautiful next chapter in The Bit™️.
When I see Hank and John what I see is people trying their best, helping me feel less hopeless, and having great hair
So true.
Truly things that AI will never replace
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Brotherhood 2.0 - Brothers learning to communicate and build a community together.
Brotherhood 3.0 - Hank makes everything and John grows through the sharing of his own struggles while the community grows.
BROTHERHOOD 4.0! - Hank and John learn to enjoy depth in their community and see it doesn’t always have to grow outward. Then John gets to be the one helping Hank through mental health!
While the world around us may give me anxiety, this era of brotherhood gives me hope and joy.
"There's a lot of things to care about, and I don't labor under the delusion that the thing I care about is the most important one." This feels like something my American Literature class should have taught me in Junior year in 2012-2013
That quote should be put up on posters everywhere
It’s a good one
If we could all agree on what was the most important thing and put all our energy into it, sure, we'd make phenomenal progress in a short time and that would be great. But there is so much that needs attention a) we're never going to agree and b) other things will get worse while we're working on the one thing. We need to spread the work around not only so that we can keep making everything better even if it is slower than we'd like but also to keep from getting in each other's way.
@@natechampchurchgoodbye to suffering letter
6:06 hank is so science brained he expects even his self-worth to be peer-reviewed! (said lightheartedly)
i appreciate you guys sharing this conversation with us, my struggles (seem to) come from a place more similar to johns than hanks, so hearing about hanks genuinely helps me understand the variety of struggles in humanity and their different origins/manifestations
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John Green can, and did, make me care about tuberculosis!
In all honesty, John made me care about tuberculosis more than actually catching tuberculosis in 2019!!
I call Danaher every weekday to tell them to release the audit they promised to release because of John.
To be honest, I used to think really nothing of TB. (I used to know nothing)
@@jedidiahhenry6020 Yes there is a difference in fear type and depth when it is for other people ( so very many ) and ourselves. My terror and fear for the the biosphere is quite different from my fear of my own maybe life threatening illness.
@@jedidiahhenry6020when I terminated 4 yrs early....
2:33 John evil eying the audience as Hank dismisses his anxiety is the epitome of he may not think so but *breaks the 4th wall* I know and you know that we know that he does. ❤
😂😂😂 the older sibling in me is DYING AT THIS COMMENT
Remember when in the past, we would always wish reunion videos could be longer than 4 minutes? I'm so glad we can do that now. This video wouldn't have hit nearly as hard otherwise.
Thank you for sharing this tender moment with us, gentlemen.
Yup
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Should we go to 4th Street market
I am a cancer survivor here to validate you, Hank. I'm 5 years from diagnosis as of last month. I had greater anxiety in the 2 years *after* I had finished my cancer treatment than I did before, or even during it, and the anxiety I felt didn't always have a direct link to something "cancer related," it just seemed to be a general increase in anxiety as a whole. It's not something that's talked about enough. I hope you know that it gets better, and that you are not alone in the way you're feeling.
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If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read “Between Two Kingdoms.” I think you’d really love it
This is a valuable perspective, thank you for sharing this.
My mom had cancer in 1989, long enough that we usually forget she had cancer. It certainly doesn't cross our minds daily anymore. It's like remembering a childhood bully. It comes up sometimes, but most of the time we carry on without his lingering memory, and that is pretty great!
3:06 "But that's okay, man..." is an underrated human expression and emotion.
It is crazy good how vulnerable Hank has chosen to be. It's almost comical how much better John understands Hank than Hank understands himself right now. I hope Hank listens to John and the rest of his family.
Nerdfighter therapist here: Of course this is scary, Hank. Lack of understanding is lack of control, and real or perceived lack of control is a huge piece that underpins anxiety. It must be so hard to not understand if understanding feels core to who you are. I know it doesn’t penetrate but that’s not all or even most of what’s valuable about you. You’re great as you are, Hank, though I can get why it’s hard to see that.
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He's spent so long staring at his reflection on a screen, in an editing room, in star ratings, in the eyes of others, that he doesn't see his self anymore. Or maybe that happened first, because he couldn't see himself he became transfixed by his reflection
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Hank looks so young in this video. Like maybe it’s the vulnerability you’re showing, but it’s really giving baby brother vibes, and John’s reassurance and sort of walking you through this experience of Anxiety is so lovingly big brother 🥰
Y’all have the best sibling relationship in the public eye by far, and I strive to foster this type of bond with my own siblings ❤❤❤
Having read all of the comments, this is my synthesized summary: We love you guys.
Hank, we don’t tell you who you are. You show us who you are, and we respond to that 💙
Heck yeah!
Healthy relationships are wild to see. It's so beautiful.
I love it when we get to see this side of John, he truly has a skill in helping people through rough times and bringing them peace.
That man has gravitas. I love that we get to watch both these men grow old together and still be good to each other. Makes me wish I had a brother like this.
@@spockolaGods, me too. I’ve wished for a long time for anyone in my life like either of these two amazing humans.
It's almost like he has experience with this in some kind of institution, a hospital maybe :)
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Chaplin John to the compassionate and nonjudgmental shoulder (rescue)
Hank. Something my mother taught me when I was young:
The best managers don't know anything about anything - but they know who to ask.
You're just becoming a better manager. REJOICE!
Not going anywhere, Hank! Stronger than ever!!!! You are doing an amazing job! You have never forgotten to be awesome!
This actually freaks me out...the thing I need people to realize is that I have sometimes forgotten to be awesome, but also hopefully that's OK.
@@vlogbrothersit is okay to forget, as long as you remember to come back! ❤
In the words of Rilke, just keep going - no feeling is final!@@vlogbrothers
@@vlogbrothersThat is totally ok, if there's one thing I've learned from standing in the front of a classroom every day it's that being "on" all the time is fraggelrocking exhausting, and focusing on being awesome all the time has got to be just as hard. What is it John quotes all the time? "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice"? As long as we're moving in the right direction I think it's fine to stumble once in a while. I see my students stumble every day, but they are still moving forward, we just gotta keep doing the same. I think having that ability is pretty awesome ❤ and honestly, nobody expects you to be perfect, none of us are 🤷♀️
@@vlogbrothers That's just a sign of being human
I've been watching this channel for probably 15 years and this is my favorite vlogbrothers video
Same.
Same.
Yes! That's what I thought too.
I am reminded of the old, i believe John saying that it is important to diversify your identity. If all of your identity is in how others see you, it's vulnerable to crashing, if its all in being the science guy, or the cancer guy, its also liable to crash. The combination of all the things you love, do, and think about can be broad enough to withstand failures or perceived failures in one part or another
I cannot express how helpful it is to see people you really respect dealing with mental illness
“Something’s coming and you don’t know what it is and it might crash you into the reef” is such a perfect summary of how I’ve been feeling for past few weeks. It’s also kind of wild, as someone with clinical anxiety, to watch Hank experience it for the first time, and John so gently walking him through it ❤
i remember reading the intro to the anthropocene reviewd and how hank was always there to calm john's anxieties. it's so sweet to see that the pendulum swings both ways.
Greenbros, I've been dealing with a lost identity and this video couldn't have hit at a better time. I finished my PhD and don't have any direction, and the feelings you're talking about is precisely how I feel. Things are slipping by and the issues of the past that weren't addressed have mounted.
I love you and this beautiful community. This darkness is hard, it's uncomfortable, and getting things straight feels difficult. I hope we all find ways to navigate the difficult paths we walk through.
Hank, your vulnerability is admirable, and I know that your hollowness is not alone, it is filled with all the good vibes you've brought to us, level headed concerns over realistic problems, and just being a human.
The period after I finished my PhD was one of the periods where I felt the absolute worst. You will get through this.
The loss of a prior identity marker (academic or professional achievement) is so real -- felt it strongly after finishing my masters. Things will get better eventually
"Curiosity kills fear" is a principle we use everyday in dog training, but it holds true for us humans as well.
Ooh. I like this, thank you.
With a Curiosity Shop Pillow
@@NyxxMonokeros😂
What Hank said at 7:16 about being interested jives with something I learned - that curiosity is often the antidote to just about any difficult emotion. Anxiety, pain, fear, grief, regret. etc. Sometimes it's too hard to be positive, but we can all be curious about where we're at and where we're going. Curiosity opens both internal doors into our own psyche as well as external doors leading to real world knowledge and solutions.
Truth
It's how my kid knows his Depression is acting up, actually. When he isn't finding interest (not even joy, just interest) in things, he deploys his various strategies to combat the grey fog.
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
I don't know who said that but I learned that it's true a long time ago and try to stick to it.
As someone with chronic illnesses & disabilities, who feels somewhat left behind by almost everything, Vlogbrothers & Nerdfighteria has always felt like a steady, calming place. The way you don't chase exponential growth in everything & don't make everything into an ad opportunity, and still have that old internet feel, is so reassuring honestly.
Two humans being humans with little to no filter is refreshing. Thanks for just being you, the planet is better for it.
"I'm going to continue to try to do good in the world not so that it will be observed, but because it's fulfilling." This hit a lot harder than I think you intended it to, John. _Am I fulfilled?_
Hank, you ain’t alone in the pathological anxiety room…there’s a pretty decent crowd here.
All of us want to leave, but the company isn't bad
The anxiety is real, and the very reasonable reasons for it may or may not come to pass. As a person with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, this feels like nothing new. It sucks having your mind stuck in the worst-case scenario. Most of my GAD fears haven’t turned out as bad as I’d feared, but the fear persists.
Don’t forget that you’re not alone. Not only can people empathize with you, but there can be strength in numbers if you need to fight back. We’re in this together.
And for anyone with anxiety, see a therapist. In person, online, even group might do well. If the anxiety is over putting yourself out there, don't do it all at once. Do it in tiny steps. Honestly the hardest part about therapy is starting. The second hardest is finding the right therapist.
But as someone who has been dealing with anxiety since college (mostly existential, but since COVID it has morphed into more physical and body, which is exciting) the rush I get after talking with my therapist about some random anxiety thoughts I had during the week, it's like none other. And a good therapist can challenge and help you come to realizations about your anxiety that may not necessarily get rid of it, but will ease it greatly, or give you strategies to cope with the anxiety as it happens.
The notion of perceiving yourself through how others perceive you online - and how that can suddenly collapse when the media landscape undergoes dramatic, unexpected change - is such an important concept, and probably one that we should think about a lot more.
"Each of us can only care about so many important things" is such a powerful piece of advice. I'm sure a lot of people needed to hear that, I know I did. Thank you John. You guys are incredible
Seeing someone as awesome as Hank Green going through similar emotions as me is extremely powerful for me and really made me process my own emotions differently. Thank you for publicly discussing this, I really appreciate it. You've got this Hank! DFTBA
While having extremely knowledgeable and reliable hank has been such a boon, it is also really reassuring to see that the people we look up to are experiencing the same concerns and lack of control that I feel. You're both incredible and thank you for your work but also for your honesty and vulnerability
Please look after yourself Hank. Your mental health is as important now as your medical health was last year. Please take the time or step back if you need - nerdfighteria will be here and support you regardless.
I'd even say mental health is medical health, right? Can't have mental without a brain and can't have brain without body because body is brain and brain is body. The journey with serious illness is so much longer and more meandering than cell counts and other concrete tests make it seem.
Yes! Maybe Hank gets a month off now!
I really admire John's patience and generosity here. When people around me get their first taste of the misery I've known for much of my life, it’s tempting to just say, "Yeah, welcome to the club. I told you it was bad down here." I know that's unkind, and I try not to let it leave my head, but my first instinct definitely isn't generosity.
Three cheers for not saying our first thoughts out loud! It's the hardest thing to not do!
Thank you so much for posting this. Most of what we see online is either people only showing us the positives and the highs of their life, or acknowledging their lows and problems- but only after they're resolved. It's rare for someone to let us see them struggling in real time, the chaos of it all- but seeing it makes me feel less alone in my struggles.
And Hank, take it from someone who's been dealing with anxiety since she was a child- this feeling of helplessness never completely goes away, but over time you'll find ways to deal with it, lessen its impact on you, and you'll continue living. Just try and keep that in mind- your brain is lying to you. Not everything can go right, but not everything will go wrong; and even when things go wrong, it's not the end of the world.
thank you... I needed to hear what the brothers said and I also needed to hear what you just said.
@@eileen7303 I'm glad I could help.
thank you
This reminds me of a saying I heard: "don't believe everything you think". It's especially important when you're dealing with mental illness, as mental illness not only distorts the way you think, it also causes you to not see that that's happening.
Remember when one family had so much love in it that they shared all that love with the rest of us so we could love them and each other too?
we all got really lucky, huh?
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i didnt sign up to cry tonight
Damn. I needed to hear this. Over the past 16 years having you two have been like the Sage Adults I look up to for guidance. Thank you for continuing to do that for me in my 30s.
That "oh interesting" at 6:16 was peak big brothering for me. Hank, you are so valuable to the world, Nerdfighters, your community and your family in so so many ways and not a single one of those in contingent on you being able to accurately predict what's going to happen with generative AI or how the election is going to go. To me, it is your inherent 'youness' that you bring to the table that is by far the most important thing.
Shoutout to their love for each other - so beautiful to see brotherhood
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3:50 biggest big brother energy I’ve ever seen John display. 😅 devastating. 😂
Hahahahaha!!!!
There was a LOT of emotion in that “Really?” From John 😂 (the first one, he unpacked the second one)
Thank you for this vulnerability! I know it can be difficult to do this publicly but I appreciate seeing it. DFTBA!
The Green brothers are going through a Hair Moment together in this video ♥This is a very sweet video. If I were to comment on Hank's anxiety, I might suggest that what he's experiencing is being at the very "crest" of the wave - and the feeling there that you could fall either way (ahead or behind), but that the real fear is of falling down. That this is the peak. And the obvious fear that you can't predict the future - and the tremendously good news is that you cannot, at all, whatsoever. 😂
Also this is just two brothers aging together, which is something I can directly relate to and I absolutely adore. The future is weird and unpredictable and as we age the world changes more and more from the world that we thought was fixed and immutable when we were children. And this isn't a lesson we learn all at once, this is something we learn slowly and more fully over time. The world's gonna be okay, we're all (mostly) going to be okay. It's going to get weirder! But the amazing news is that we get to be here to see it, and that's Pretty Neat.
"Working Through a Crisis with My Brother" Sorry, my automatic assumption was the other brother was having a crisis. This is a refreshing change of pace :) And Hank, you are doing a good job.
Yeah, I just assumed it was John as well. Which was probably their intention keeping it nonspecific lol, SURPRISE! It's Hank having a rough time this go around!
Hank keeps trying to surf the wave, but the ocean keeps getting bigger.
This is why any ocean watching career (from media, to VC, to news) often means over the years you specialize a bit more and bring on junior associates to help watch different parts of the ocean more deeply.
No one can do it all, even when we all feel the compulsion and anxiety to try.
Choose a problem, and go deep. You have to trust that other people would go deep in other important areas.
Such great advice from Hank!
Dad taught me to be a "global citizen" and pay attention and be informed. For a long time that was important to me and became a part of me and how others understood me. Letting go of that when things got "too damn dire" was hard. But I did. And I dropped out of the information loop in defense of my own mental health. I've been "news light" for a couple of years now and it's been VERY GOOD FOR ME. It's not always the best thing to ride that wave Hank. Do it when you can, but give yourself a break. I know we will.
Yes! I went news light after my stroke in 2020. Having a more narrow focus so I could cope, was amazing!
I had to do this too. I still struggle with feeling guilty about it. But it has given me space to be more present in my community and with my friends and neighbors in a way that I've never experienced before. Also more focused on nerdfighteria and specific communities when I am online.
My local world is so much more pleasant and hopeful and supportive than the global online one. And I think it's ok to be more of a local citizen. Hoping to have an impact globally has been a recipe for dissatisfaction and like John said, despair.
I'm not naive or completely ignorant, I know the major things that are happening in world news, but I've been able to sustain so much more hope with a degree of separation and living more in the real world.
THERE IS VALUE IN THE WORK ITSELF ❤ This is the journey of a lifetime - deciding what you believe to be valuable despite what others may think (after all, we'll never please everyone or even all the people we most want to please). It's always so hard!! It's okay to be figuring it out I think. I think you know when it clicks mentally and/or you get the peaceful, joyful feeling inside.
WE DO WORK BECAUSE IT IS GOOD TO WORK
This was really really powerful, thanks brothers Green 💚
I'm so grateful that this community is strong enough and healthy enough to allow you to be comfortable sharing this kind of conversation.
Hank and John, please believe me when I say your existence and your work that you both share with Nerdfighteria has been immeasurably important to my life. Thank you thank you. Your work makes such a difference in so many ways. Thank you. 💚
literally taking my ballot to a drop box today c: I have NO doubt you have gotten people to vote, Hank. You're doing a LOT.
I feel honored to be a witness to Hank processing life differently now.
6:45 love that he’s fully on board with it now. Wild to be able to get to watch parts of this journey of meaning though
I’m an out of work scientist - from the outside, you guys appear to be doing really good work to help educate the world! I’m away from schools and labs and am yearning for a way to help spread science!
Whenever I feel like I can't keep up, I ask myself if I need to. If I don't need to win this race, I can just slow down and participate.
Ooooooooo, this is rad perspective! Thanks for sharing it
Hank, regardless of what's coming, you've done an amazing job with what has passed. You have helped so many people learn, grow, experience, and laugh over the years. Thank you for that, and good luck with whatever comes tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
"There's a lot of things to care about and I don't labor under the delusion that the one I care about is the most important one"
There is so much wisdom in that, it really stood out to me.
god this one bangs i’m only 22 but i feel pretty much everything hank is feeling and it feels just weirdly better to have this both for having hank to relate to and john having such killer advice. nerdfighteria is just so cool
This is one of my favorite Vlogbrothers videos ever I think! Beautiful brotherhood!
Same, this was such a tonic
Dang. This was raw. Thank you guys.
1:04 is such a wonderful siblings and NG thing to do 😂 impeccable
Hi my two favorite son figures, yes, I am that old. The world is going much faster. But, Hank you are in a position to develop a team to untangle these changes and both fulfill your needs to understand and explain our time. Thanks for being Hank and John.
I remember John talking about "empathic listening" on the pod several years ago and it has since been a helpful tool for me in several difficult situations. It was nice to see it in action in this video.
Sending positive thoughts to both of you! DFTBA
Two brothers trying to fix each other. I find more value in this content than 90% of the internet. I know it doesn't mean much from random internet guy #37, but you help save lives every day. You are awesome and kind. Just don't forget to be awesome and kind to yourself.
I don’t know when I’ve ever seen two men being that vulnerable talking about anxiety. It makes me want to cry because as a woman worrying about this election I feel like we’re alone on an island with our worry. That felt like some deep solidarity from yall. Thank you ❤
John absolutely crushing us with wisdom at 6:11
"You have to trust other people will go deep elsewhere." This has fundamentally reshaped the way I want to focus on my work.
Same
The eyes are the window to the soul, and Hank is a troubled man. You are both amazing gentlemen and your videos are showing everyone that watches them how to be better human beings. The problem with being an exceptional person is that you can feel like a failure when you're just being normal. Which is still pretty amazing. Hank, don't forget that you are awesome. John too :)
You two are really lovely people.
5:24 just about *wrecked* me. I had my own near death medical experience with septic shock almost exactly a year ago, and in many ways have found my throughts about mortality and recovery through the medical system and such reflected in Hank's journey and I'm so grateful for that. But then to have John identify and validate through Hank the headspace I'm in and haven't really talked to anyone about with "some of this is about grappling for the first time with your mortality, that you're goung to have a different level of health anxiety in the future..." Was a whole other level. It reminds me why I've stayed in this community in a way I haven't in others
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I'm loving all these videos of you guys together!! 💚
I hear you Hank, when you're used to being the one people rely on, when they tell you you're the stable thing, feeling like you might not be able to do that is so hard and stressful. When you think of yourself as 'the one who has their stuff together' and then you start..not having it together, it feels really destructive to your sense of self and also terrifying. But part of what i love about nerdfighteria is our grace and patience, the understanding that we're all not perfect, not even you guys, and I like us figuring out not being perfect together. When you say this stuff is hard, it makes me feel less bad about it being hard for me.
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this feels like a pretty private and intense conversation, but it’s really important too. thanks for being vulnerable and open and putting this out there.
This is backwards from what I was expecting. Very beautiful to see John using his depression experience to help Hank.
Hank, you are so very human. Thank you for sharing this.
So great to see both of you together. Y'all are my favorite brothers. Rock on, dudes! ❤🎉😊
One can tell John's nodding along as an old professional anxiety-haver & older brother. I'm with you, Hank; these upcoming weeks feel like a forecasted hurricane that you can't evacuate from.
I love that you both have people you can be sincere with about *the big stuff*.
Also, all 3 shirts are phenomenal.
The bravery, compassion, empathy, and protectiveness both of you show in this video, is what the word "masculinity" should actually mean. Thank you for sharing this moment.
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I feel so seen with everything Hank going through emotionally in this video. And even though not everything applies to me I feel like John's input just helped my heart/brain. Thx guys
I love you guys. I see where Hank is right now. John did an amazing job with this convo. I need to remember the part about "when you pick something go deep." I am way too interested in too many things and it's so hard to pick just one and trust others will do the work in other facets.
This video is important in many ways, not least of which because witnessing a full length conversation working through complex emotions is something many people never experience in their lives unless they are actively a part of it or its made pretty for fiction. It's so necessary to know what kinds of things are normal to say and do at the intersection of casual and serious. As an autistic person I know the social scripts for small talk or a BIG IMPORTANTtm conversation, but that middle ground is so rarely showcased like this. Thanks for everything you do, including just chatting on the internet for so many years.
'Each of us can only care about so many important things' is so reassuring when there are so many important things going on in the world right now and not enough time to give equal attention to everything 😢
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This video is so timely for me. My therapist & I were talking about how to validate my own accomplishments while feeling overwhelmed. This was so on point for me. Thank you & we will keep fighting the good fight! Nerds to the rescue!!!❤🎉😊
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Every time I’m feeling down about the general feel of culture here in the US or humanity in general, all I have to do is go through a Nerdfightaria comment section. Man… I love this community so much.
A-Plus comment section!!
Been awhile since I've commented, but been a nerdfighter since 2009. I just cried so damn hard from how inspirational I find Hank and John right now. As a male person in our society just having role models like them to see being vulnerable and analyzing the sources of their anxiety like it's a normal and acceptable thing is really what I needed to see today. Thank you so much for that.
This was really refreshing to hear, and also very relatable.
Of all people, I wouldn't have anticipated you'd worry about being good Hank! To me, you're probably inherently, even without any external stuff, a very good person with a good heart.
I would trust even without a camera or the internet, you'd be helping out somewhere, somehow
I'm older than both of you and both of you have helped and achieved more than I think I ever will. You have so much to be proud of and I will never worry about you 'turning evil' under duress or success as so many have. I know we judge other people's outsides by the state of our insides, but you should know that most of us are a hot mess on the inside and you do not walk alone in your internal chaos. There's a *lot* to be anxious about right now, but if the fairly decent people stick together and stay fairly decent, I think we'll be okay in the long run.