@@whiteangel7777777Actually emotional sensitivity is highly overrated IMHO. It's a sign of deep underlying pain and numerous self hurting beliefs. Physical sensitivity of the senses is one thing. Extreme emotional sensitivity has never been a gift to anyone I know in reality. You are a slave of your reactivity. Anyone can hurt you.
I relate to this. A lot of people took my kindness for weakness until I completely shut down communication with them. Then, they were surprised and acted like they were victims. I've been taken advantage of and finally felt the need to stand up for myself and set hard boundaries. Much love to you and thank you for what you are doing. ❤❤
I wrote this on my Fb wall the other day. Don't confuse my kindness for weakness!! iam a giver! always helping friends and family, sending gifts,money etc. But when I got sick,I learned quickly who was there for me.
I used to be that kind of person until I realized that everyone must take 100% responsibility for their own situation. I no longer have misguided sympathy for others, and I no longer waste my kindness on those who are ungrateful.
Wow Anita!!! From the time Dr Wayne Dyer introduced you to us on that stage you have grown a thousand times, you have become a beacon for all of us to follow and I'm sure Dr Wayne Dyer would be so proud that you took his torch to carry on when he left. Well done Anita 😀😀😀
Yes!!! I can relate! Most recently I met a woman who said she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I started helping her because I had been a hospice volunteer many years ago and that was a good experience for me because the hospice patients started to live and not die. But when I started helping this recent person I was being asked to do more and more and I was feeling drained. After a few months I had to make the decision to walk away completely because a quick chat ended up being many hours! It was difficult to make that decision! My ego kept saying help because this person is dying! Then my body said stop and charge your batteries. It was difficult because I have a hard time drawing a definite boundary while in front of the person who is asking for more and more. Sadly this person was not happy that I walked away instead of being grateful for the help she was given. Thank you for helping so many in this world🙏❤️
@pennygilbert2713 Bless you for doing what you could for this individual and knowing also when it was enough and you needed to put up boundaries. Namaste~
No more Mr. Nice Guy is a fantastic book on self love. The level of narcissism is crazy in relationships. Most people use the nice ones and shame, guilt or threaten them when they don't comply. Going to a new paradigm won't be very happy for them, but then you have to know that you aren't helpless.
Hi Anita, thank you for this. While I agree that it’s important to be kind in your interactions with other people sometimes aggressive behavior is the only way to approach a situation. Years ago I worked in a Florida hospital under the supervision of 2 males ( I’m a female). One day they told me that there was a patient needing treatment in the emergency room. I went down to the patient’s room, knocked on the door and entered to find a patient who was obviously dead and burned beyond recognition. When I returned to the office there they were hilariously laughing at the prank they pulled! I lost it and had a stomping hissy fit, I was too mad about the cruelty of this prank to even think of being kind. I could tell by their wide eyed response that they were actually afraid of me! Good! They never pulled a stunt like that again and treated me with all due respect and kindness…albeit maybe cause they thought I was crazy!
Thank you for sharing this ... I still don't know what my 'policy' is but suspect that using some vehemence of expression (without calling names or slandering anyone's identity) may be an acceptable tool in certain situations. Not violent but assertive.
Disgusting behaviour from them. Don’t blame you for losing your cool. I remember it taking my favourite teachers a lot to lose their cool. I look back at when I’ve lost it with a few others and though, in hind sight, I wish I could have handled it a little differently, I can only hopefully be aware and respond in a manner I’d prefer if needed in future; standing up for myself, getting my point across, without ‘losing it’.
I think when we see people who needs support, l can put myself in their shoes and kindness takes over. Our family friend didn’t have a family, who cared and found myself, making sure he was safe and when he lost of speech, l was then vocalising his needs, with the Dr’s. Sadly friend passed away, age 85. If l was weak how could l taken care of him. I’m not comfortable being aggressive or confrontational.
It happens all the time. I wasn’t always like this and sometimes miss the “old me” but am so grateful I’m not. Having been both, acknowledge that my kindness is a gift.♥️🙏🏽♥️🙌🏽♥️🦋
This is really validating Anita, thank you. People will try all sorts of things to shame us into making things easier for them. I’ve experience of this in a spiritual community, where having set boundaries around using me as free childcare, food and counselling, I was labelled as having “anger issues”. No matter how quietly or lovingly a boundary is expressed, some people just don’t like NO.
Anita I totally agree with you. I have been a carpenter and business owner for over 35 years and then I focused on working in the c-suit construction management of custom home building as a leader to empower and express kindness. It took a lot of patience working with NPD's and their bully ways but like you said I listened to the inner voice of God to set my boundaries without being cruel or harsh. It's like letting Arch Angle Michael flash his mighty sword and shield for protection.
I too relate. I also get drained from people who non stop talk. I'll simply be standing somewhere and a person who I don't know will be there talking non stop at me......now, I walk away if that's an option.....if I'm in a situation like work, I turn my head from the talker...... and just yesterday I noticed the drainer moved onto another's ears.
I've experienced that a lot and as a young person this meant I could be easily controlled by others. Over time I realised that my excessive kindness was encouraging the other person to maintain their dysfunctional behaviour. I have at times ended up by reacting with frustration then feeling guilty because I hadn't behaved the way they wanted me to.. I still sometimes struggle in these situations but am better able to hold my boundary kindly, Marg
I'm a psychotherapist and understand that as a teenager I was codependent in some relationships. I suffered from coercive control too. Kindness can lead to attracting others with these behaviours, however true kindness is having the capacity to hold kind boundaries and attend to personal integrity. Thanks for your comment, great to have the opportunity to develop my ideas, Marg
your videos have encouraged me so much. I believe fear been broken off my life. I can live and do the will of the most high God without fear of making mistakes.
I totally relate, I’m kind and loving and accepting and people think they can treat me badly and then they get a shock when I set boundaries. Exactly what you said. And I’m really strict about it.
I can relate and agree 100%... Kindness can be both a weakness AND a strength. It's only a weakness when people exploit it... boundaries are quite necessary.
Watching your process of carrying the principles from the other side into this side is so inspiring. I love the analogy of the "healthy cells" of our society being the forces of strong kindness. This really helps me to prioritize what I need to for this day. Thank you as usual, Anita. You are a true pioneer.
YES….. My Truth!! I call it crossing the line I stand up, people are surprised! But my question why don’t the people “ taking”responsibility for THEIR ACTIONS, OWN IT TAKERS!!!
Can totally relate! And when I pull away from those people they attack and project their stuff onto me which confirms for me why I needed to pull away and then new more balanced people can come into my life.
We still are fooled in beliefs that there is lack and not enough. We also still belief that others have to pay when in truth nobody has to pay for my own free manifestations. It is probably the way when we arrived from giving and taking to being.
Business done with ruthlessness needs to go completely out of style. Kindness to ourselves, each other and the planet is absolutely necessary.❤ You absolutely should take everything you feel OK with taking for what you are doing! We also need to raise consciousness on abundance - it's NOT a zero sum game.
I have come to believe that it takes so much more strength to be kind, to be patient, to be humble and to be compassionate in all of my interactions. It takes strength to come from a place of love with EVERYBODY (yes, even your x, lol) we just have to make sure we don't forget to know where the other person ends and we begin. :) -love you Anita!
I absolutely relate. I had to use that saying years ago. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness." I feel mean if I say no to people. Recently I set a hard boundary, letting a draining relationship go. It really was a relief. No regrets. Takes time to evolve into the person I want to be. Teach Only Love is my byline.
I relate to this! I had a painful experience of a friend whom I discovered only liked me as a gentle person whom she felt she could keep in a very junior role at work, mainly taking the post to the postbox and stamping envelopes. Looking back, I understand why this felt so therapeutic to her, and how wrong I was to myself to play this role and almost go into contortions to show her how much I respected her two or three years' work experience! When she found she couldn't prevent me from using my talents and could no longer control the situation, since she did not own the business, she campaigned (successfully) to have me sacked. For doing absolutely nothing wrong (in fact, rather the reverse). I remember her saying to me, "I thought you were ... (forgotten what, something like 'a really sweet person, like so-and-so ...), but actually, you are AMBITIOUS!" (with a tone suggesting that was almost a crime)". Years later, I recovered from this, but she was still trying to compare herself to me and compete. Those of us with gentle natures and the kind of character that Anita describes need to be aware that we are spiritually strong (have truckloads of confidence to take risks and be trusting of others), but certain people with a different type of energy will have a tendency to behave wrongly towards us. This is not our fault, it's just an energetic pattern that happens in this world, maybe a result of so many people feeling crushed or neglected as children, and then trying to make themselves feel stronger in life by dominating others. Sometimes it happens in very subtle ways that we feel, but cannot articulate. I send my great gratitude and respect to you, Raja Anita. You are a giant in the spiritual world and you are helping me to make leaps forward. (P.S. hope I have guessed Raja correctly; Queen doesn't sound right). With love.
Yes, sadly I can relate to it completely. I put up with a lot of stuff, for many reasons. Then when I do draw a boundary or wish to discuss the imbalance of whatever relationship it happens to be, the person(s) always get highly offensive and angry, or they do not respond to me at all and erase me from their life. I am at a point in my life, in my early 60s, where I just do not want to chase friendships, as they say. I'm through with it. There are so very, very few people in my life right now that I can truly call friend.
A few good books that I read and which I feel touched well on this kind of thing, are... Christiane Northrup's 'Dodging Energy Vampires' and books by Dr Gabor Mate, especially 'When the Body Says No'. The latter is about the dangers of being (too) selfless. The first is also. Really interesting.
So glad to see you cultivating a robust space between kindness and boundaries. Americans are often so trapped by dualistic belief systems around “success.” Thank you for your patience with us, dear Anita!🤣 You are doing such a great job. We need your courageous leadership and teaching.
You are phenominal Anita - YES like Oprah, and JK and Rhonda Bryne!! Interesting chat, I'll be taking inspiration from it. From one kind person to another! xxx
Anita, I resonate with you. I have found a strategy that works well for me. It's called Needs Based Awareness. Thom Bond wrote the book The Compassion Book. This is an offshoot of Marshall Rowenburg's teachings. It is very rooted in feeling ones feelings and understanding one has needs. When we get clear on what we are feeling and needing we can make requests if needed, so, our no is a self compassionate yes for us meeting our needs. In turn we can see others with feelings and unmet needs, where we can take a pause and respond with awareness with empathy and compassion. Love you, Anita!
Yes! I mentioned this to my husband recently, that when I'm kind, I become a doormat. I found that going to God for His brand of kindness worked wonders because any flawed interaction is karmic & going to God brings His wonderful karma dissolving essence into the situation. It leaves everyone feeling at peace. I've been working on this for about a month & if I don't forget to do it (😊), it definitely improves the interaction
I 100% relate to this, Anita 🥰 I feel the same, I like to be gentle and kind, but if people push too much sometimes I set hard boundaries 😊 Sometimes one has to speak the same language that others understand, which might seem rude, unfortunately.
All the Time! in your kindness is your strength, and their nastiness is their weakness. I know this, yet difficult to figure out how to act with those people.
Anita, You are such a powerful speaker and beautiful soul. With all part of my body your words touch me and I could relate to that. Implying Kind these days needs more strength than being typical divisive. I will be supporting you with your lovely mission. Thanks, Arezou
At minute 11:35 it finally becomes clear what the thumbnail means, I was a little worried about what you were going to say about JKR! However, I absolutely resonate with what you say, Anitaji.
I so relate to what you say, Anita! It took getting Cancer and having some "close" friends completely betray my trust and confidence to see how disempowered I had allowed myself to become. I was raised in what my husband calls the "Eggshell Family," a very gentle, nonconfrontational, compassionate family culture that , alas was very susceptible to being taken advantage of. I have worked very hard in the last couple of years to grow my backbone and my ability to set boundaries. Still, my desire to be kind, supportive, positive and compassionate puts me at a disadvantage with the kind of aggressive, ruthless, abrasive, steam-roller energy that is expressing itself so strongly in our present time I have lots of gifts, but I struggle so hard to self-promote. . It's so encouraging to hear you talk about your journey in this too!
This is a common problem with anyone serving people in the spiritual genre. I will say for myself I only listen to certain people that I resonate with and I think others are the same. Trying to reach everyone I think would be impossible. The most important person to be kimd to is yourself….then others follow. So if a situation is causing you pain, take a timeout, assess and if no good comes from the contact it is kind to walk away. Find people who you resonate with. One person cannot serve everyone….only universal consciousness can do that🇨🇦🙏🌷
Yes always have . My boundaries are pretty firm now but I have lost my daughter and grandson because of my boundaries which are essential for my healing x heartbroken but standing in my space with love .
I relate to what you are saying and have been faced with e same situation and have been really hurt and when i stood up for myself i too was labelled not so sweet anymore !
Very well said - I've literally told people 'you are taking advantage of my kindness and goodwill' and it will not continue - the boundary yes seems to keep moving - draw your own line when you have to. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Yeah, artists and other creative people and professions have the same issues when wanting fair recompense for our skills and experience (after decades of honing them). Often we get surprised reactions when we say the cost of the art we make. Yet, it's the 21st century and still people talk about the struggling artist, when it's a profession that has been around for years! Also, the whole boundaries I can relate to ... being an empath too. I often showed how thoughtful and caring I was and people would latch on to that...but it wouldn't be returned when I needed someone, so I kicked them out of my life.
Its true if you are kind and soft hearted you tend tp attract people who push you to destroy your good habits. what happen when light meets darkness it becones chaos. the best way is to mitigate with strong boundaries at the same time allowing everything to happen and pass.
Thank you for emphasizing that it is important to take care of oneself as well or even before deciding to assist others. I have been struggling all my life with issues of guilt for having more than some of my friends and relatives and feeling obligated to pay for them all the time. I ended up avoiding closer contact with other people because I can't resolve this guilt issue within myself
This is exactly what I have experienced for many years, but now I know that people who do that to me, that is not someone I want to know. I also want to be nice and polite to everyone. Thant you so much for your videos, I also have your books,Kirstine from Denmark.
Anita, thank you so much! This vlog could not come with better timing for me! From bottom of my heart thank you and your entire team what you do for us! Blessings to you Anita, you surely are living Angel ❤
People must remember that you are human. And if everyone would simply be respectful of your kindness, things like that wouldn't happen. I don't see any reason why anyone would feel the need to be mean to you. If they do, they deserve to hear a harsh word. They should know better. I love and appreciate you. Your voice is calm and soothing, and your words are beneficial. You are very strong in many ways. Thank you for being a light in a dark world.
Wow Anita ,I’m going through that right now. No means no and it’s so uncomfortable. I had a physical reaction this morning because I have to again confront a person after I already made myself clear being kind. At one point I even blamed myself and did not understand how I ended up in the. situation that I now face. I am not well and was taken advantage of but only realized what was going on too late. Sometimes things take you by surprise so obviously my boundary does not matter only the other persons agenda.if I have to be assertive to get my point across then I will have to find a way to get my points across and now I’m totally uncomfortable with this person and no longer want them in my life. Mostly important is to protect my life and energy.
It happens to me all the time. I am by nature a kind hearted person. There are people who take advantage of kindness. I don't like confrontations either.
Pls watch Aaron Doughty's, " How to stay in your frame". I am also an empath, and avoided conflict at all cost. This ain't a healthy approach though. Conflict isn't necessarily bad,and should be embraced.
Dear ma'am, how are you? This is one of the most important things you have discussed. Being kind doesn't mean you're weak. It's taken me a long time to accept that I don't like to fight. If there's a need I won't back down but I don't allow my niceness to be taken for a ride anymore.
I am always friendly to people and can have a lot of patience with them. Being unkind hurts myself. It's taken me most of my lifetime to teach myself to speak up when something bothers me. And when I do this, it often surprises people who see my kindness as a weakness.
Absolutely! I have this exact struggle. I care so very much about taking care of other’s feelings that often I would put myself at a disadvantage, sometimes to extreme. I’ve gotten much better at boundaries but it does not come easy to say the least. I have great love and appreciation for you and ALL you do. Also good for you for backing up the message that it’s okay to be successful in doing light work. I support you fully!!!
Growing up, my mom used to say, “in your softness lies your strength”.
@@youtube.account.deletedthat’s something else entirely
That was a positive message my mother gave me the opposite she still says in a negative tone, you are too sensitive
@@whiteangel7777777Actually emotional sensitivity is highly overrated IMHO. It's a sign of deep underlying pain and numerous self hurting beliefs.
Physical sensitivity of the senses is one thing. Extreme emotional sensitivity has never been a gift to anyone I know in reality. You are a slave of your reactivity. Anyone can hurt you.
I relate to this. A lot of people took my kindness for weakness until I completely shut down communication with them. Then, they were surprised and acted like they were victims. I've been taken advantage of and finally felt the need to stand up for myself and set hard boundaries. Much love to you and thank you for what you are doing. ❤❤
Yes, others mistake my kindness for weakness.
I wrote this on my Fb wall the other day. Don't confuse my kindness for weakness!! iam a giver! always helping friends and family, sending gifts,money etc. But when I got sick,I learned quickly who was there for me.
Boundaries are not unspiritual.
I can relate.
be kind as far as your authenticity is not compromised
I find "people-pleasing" gets confused with kindness. I've learned to
Love my boundaries, my protection. Being kind to tyrants is not
possible.❤❤❤
I used to be that kind of person until I realized that everyone must take 100% responsibility for their own situation. I no longer have misguided sympathy for others, and I no longer waste my kindness on those who are ungrateful.
I remind myself that being kind applies to being kind to me also.❤
Wow Anita!!! From the time Dr Wayne Dyer introduced you to us on that stage you have grown a thousand times, you have become a beacon for all of us to follow and I'm sure Dr Wayne Dyer would be so proud that you took his torch to carry on when he left. Well done Anita 😀😀😀
Facing this in person for last 65 yrs. 7.38 is exactly what environment is structured.
Yes!!! I can relate! Most recently I met a woman who said she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I started helping her because I had been a hospice volunteer many years ago and that was a good experience for me because the hospice patients started to live and not die. But when I started helping this recent person I was being asked to do more and more and I was feeling drained. After a few months I had to make the decision to walk away completely because a quick chat ended up being many hours! It was difficult to make that decision! My ego kept saying help because this person is dying! Then my body said stop and charge your batteries. It was difficult because I have a hard time drawing a definite boundary while in front of the person who is asking for more and more. Sadly this person was not happy that I walked away instead of being grateful for the help she was given. Thank you for helping so many in this world🙏❤️
Can relate. Different scenarios, same energy drain
@pennygilbert2713 Bless you for doing what you could for this individual and knowing also when it was enough and you needed to put up boundaries. Namaste~
I’ve heard in church years ago, God’s people don’t have to be down trodden & broke. We can live a prosperous, kind and helpful life & thrive!😊
No more Mr. Nice Guy is a fantastic book on self love. The level of narcissism is crazy in relationships. Most people use the nice ones and shame, guilt or threaten them when they don't comply. Going to a new paradigm won't be very happy for them, but then you have to know that you aren't helpless.
Totally can relate. Thank you for sharing this. 🥰💜💯💝
Hi Anita, thank you for this. While I agree that it’s important to be kind in your interactions with other people sometimes aggressive behavior is the only way to approach a situation. Years ago I worked in a Florida hospital under the supervision of 2 males ( I’m a female). One day they told me that there was a patient needing treatment in the emergency room. I went down to the patient’s room, knocked on the door and entered to find a patient who was obviously dead and burned beyond recognition. When I returned to the office there they were hilariously laughing at the prank they pulled! I lost it and had a stomping hissy fit, I was too mad about the cruelty of this prank to even think of being kind. I could tell by their wide eyed response that they were actually afraid of me! Good! They never pulled a stunt like that again and treated me with all due respect and kindness…albeit maybe cause they thought I was crazy!
Thank you for sharing this ... I still don't know what my 'policy' is but suspect that using some vehemence of expression (without calling names or slandering anyone's identity) may be an acceptable tool in certain situations. Not violent but assertive.
Disgusting behaviour from them. Don’t blame you for losing your cool. I remember it taking my favourite teachers a lot to lose their cool. I look back at when I’ve lost it with a few others and though, in hind sight, I wish I could have handled it a little differently, I can only hopefully be aware and respond in a manner I’d prefer if needed in future; standing up for myself, getting my point across, without ‘losing it’.
I think when we see people who needs support, l can put myself in their shoes and kindness takes over. Our family friend didn’t have a family, who cared and found myself, making sure he was safe and when he lost of speech, l was then vocalising his needs, with the Dr’s. Sadly friend passed away, age 85. If l was weak how could l taken care of him. I’m not comfortable being aggressive or confrontational.
It happens all the time. I wasn’t always like this and sometimes miss the “old me” but am so grateful I’m not. Having been both, acknowledge that my kindness is a gift.♥️🙏🏽♥️🙌🏽♥️🦋
This is really validating Anita, thank you. People will try all sorts of things to shame us into making things easier for them. I’ve experience of this in a spiritual community, where having set boundaries around using me as free childcare, food and counselling, I was labelled as having “anger issues”. No matter how quietly or lovingly a boundary is expressed, some people just don’t like NO.
❤ dearest Anita- seeing what comes out of any being belongs to them has helped me not accept hurtful gifts from others
Anita I totally agree with you. I have been a carpenter and business owner for over 35 years and then I focused on working in the c-suit construction management of custom home building as a leader to empower and express kindness. It took a lot of patience working with NPD's and their bully ways but like you said I listened to the inner voice of God to set my boundaries without being cruel or harsh. It's like letting Arch Angle Michael flash his mighty sword and shield for protection.
I experience this all the time!
I too relate. I also get drained from people who non stop talk. I'll simply be standing somewhere and a person who I don't know will be there talking non stop at me......now, I walk away if that's an option.....if I'm in a situation like work, I turn my head from the talker...... and just yesterday I noticed the drainer moved onto another's ears.
Completely Agree !!!! 👍👍🌎🇮🇳 Relate 💯%
I've experienced that a lot and as a young person this meant I could be easily controlled by others. Over time I realised that my excessive kindness was encouraging the other person to maintain their dysfunctional behaviour. I have at times ended up by reacting with frustration then feeling guilty because I hadn't behaved the way they wanted me to.. I still sometimes struggle in these situations but am better able to hold my boundary kindly, Marg
I'm a psychotherapist and understand that as a teenager I was codependent in some relationships. I suffered from coercive control too. Kindness can lead to attracting others with these behaviours, however true kindness is having the capacity to hold kind boundaries and attend to personal integrity. Thanks for your comment, great to have the opportunity to develop my ideas, Marg
Ooh this too! Can relate 🫣
your videos have encouraged me so much. I believe fear been broken off my life. I can live and do the will of the most high God without fear of making mistakes.
Thank you Anita. Please take care of yourself and continue to be strong. Do not compromise. Sending ❤
I totally relate, I’m kind and loving and accepting and people think they can treat me badly and then they get a shock when I set boundaries. Exactly what you said. And I’m really strict about it.
I can relate and agree 100%... Kindness can be both a weakness AND a strength. It's only a weakness when people exploit it... boundaries are quite necessary.
1000% agree that's me too
Yes, I relate completely.
Setting boundaries can be so empowering and I think it always needs an adjustment as the universe tests us 😁
Watching your process of carrying the principles from the other side into this side is so inspiring. I love the analogy of the "healthy cells" of our society being the forces of strong kindness. This really helps me to prioritize what I need to for this day. Thank you as usual, Anita. You are a true pioneer.
YES….. My Truth!! I call it crossing the line I stand up, people are surprised!
But my question why don’t the people “ taking”responsibility for THEIR ACTIONS, OWN IT TAKERS!!!
Can totally relate! And when I pull away from those people they attack and project their stuff onto me which confirms for me why I needed to pull away and then new more balanced people can come into my life.
Yes!
with perfect synchrony I asked and I received this video is a gift for me thanks Anita we are all connected love you
We still are fooled in beliefs that there is lack and not enough. We also still belief that others have to pay when in truth nobody has to pay for my own free manifestations. It is probably the way when we arrived from giving and taking to being.
Kindness also equals love for others
👏👏👏 yes!!!
I agree so much with. You are a beacon of light 💡 for others ❤❤❤❤❤
Business done with ruthlessness needs to go completely out of style. Kindness to ourselves, each other and the planet is absolutely necessary.❤
You absolutely should take everything you feel OK with taking for what you are doing! We also need to raise consciousness on abundance - it's NOT a zero sum game.
I have come to believe that it takes so much more strength to be kind, to be patient, to be humble and to be compassionate in all of my interactions. It takes strength to come from a place of love with EVERYBODY (yes, even your x, lol) we just have to make sure we don't forget to know where the other person ends and we begin. :) -love you Anita!
私は貴女の日本語版の本を終始泣きながら拝見しました。見事な翻訳力で感動しました。何時もRUclipsを出されているのは知っていますが、英語は分かりません。もし、日本語の吹き替えがあれば、とても嬉しいです。私の人生で１番好きな本が貴女の本です。
I absolutely relate. I had to use that saying years ago. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."
I feel mean if I say no to people. Recently I set a hard boundary, letting a draining relationship go. It really was a relief. No regrets.
Takes time to evolve into the person I want to be.
Teach Only Love is my byline.
What comes out of each being is their 🎁 💝 gift. I choose to Not Accept hurtful harmful gifts- this is Buddha's teaching
I relate to this! I had a painful experience of a friend whom I discovered only liked me as a gentle person whom she felt she could keep in a very junior role at work, mainly taking the post to the postbox and stamping envelopes. Looking back, I understand why this felt so therapeutic to her, and how wrong I was to myself to play this role and almost go into contortions to show her how much I respected her two or three years' work experience! When she found she couldn't prevent me from using my talents and could no longer control the situation, since she did not own the business, she campaigned (successfully) to have me sacked. For doing absolutely nothing wrong (in fact, rather the reverse). I remember her saying to me, "I thought you were ... (forgotten what, something like 'a really sweet person, like so-and-so ...), but actually, you are AMBITIOUS!" (with a tone suggesting that was almost a crime)". Years later, I recovered from this, but she was still trying to compare herself to me and compete. Those of us with gentle natures and the kind of character that Anita describes need to be aware that we are spiritually strong (have truckloads of confidence to take risks and be trusting of others), but certain people with a different type of energy will have a tendency to behave wrongly towards us. This is not our fault, it's just an energetic pattern that happens in this world, maybe a result of so many people feeling crushed or neglected as children, and then trying to make themselves feel stronger in life by dominating others. Sometimes it happens in very subtle ways that we feel, but cannot articulate. I send my great gratitude and respect to you, Raja Anita. You are a giant in the spiritual world and you are helping me to make leaps forward. (P.S. hope I have guessed Raja correctly; Queen doesn't sound right). With love.
Yes, sadly I can relate to it completely. I put up with a lot of stuff, for many reasons. Then when I do draw a boundary or wish to discuss the imbalance of whatever relationship it happens to be, the person(s) always get highly offensive and angry, or they do not respond to me at all and erase me from their life. I am at a point in my life, in my early 60s, where I just do not want to chase friendships, as they say. I'm through with it. There are so very, very few people in my life right now that I can truly call friend.
I’m at the same place. I get lonely.
A few good books that I read and which I feel touched well on this kind of thing, are... Christiane Northrup's 'Dodging Energy Vampires' and books by Dr Gabor Mate, especially 'When the Body Says No'. The latter is about the dangers of being (too) selfless. The first is also. Really interesting.
@@lambchop6278 Thank you.
Thank you Anita, I had my kindness with in me all along. And as you say, if I shoud akt without kindess towards anyone I would feel very uneasy ❤❤🙏🙏✨✨
Yes. I relate. 😢
So glad to see you cultivating a robust space between kindness and boundaries. Americans are often so trapped by dualistic belief systems around “success.” Thank you for your patience with us, dear Anita!🤣 You are doing such a great job. We need your courageous leadership and teaching.
Absolutely!!! You deserve to stand up for yourself and I hope those individuals that did or try to taking advantage change in a positive way.
"Dogs that bark don't bite" ... there are many ways of being. How i react to what others say or do is my responsability and vice versa
You are phenominal Anita - YES like Oprah, and JK and Rhonda Bryne!! Interesting chat, I'll be taking inspiration from it. From one kind person to another! xxx
Your message to me has felt more important and has held more value than Oprah, JK, etc.❤
Anita, I resonate with you. I have found a strategy that works well for me. It's called Needs Based Awareness. Thom Bond wrote the book The Compassion Book. This is an offshoot of Marshall Rowenburg's teachings. It is very rooted in feeling ones feelings and understanding one has needs. When we get clear on what we are feeling and needing we can make requests if needed, so, our no is a self compassionate yes for us meeting our needs. In turn we can see others with feelings and unmet needs, where we can take a pause and respond with awareness with empathy and compassion. Love you, Anita!
Yes! I mentioned this to my husband recently, that when I'm kind, I become a doormat. I found that going to God for His brand of kindness worked wonders because any flawed interaction is karmic & going to God brings His wonderful karma dissolving essence into the situation. It leaves everyone feeling at peace. I've been working on this for about a month & if I don't forget to do it (😊), it definitely improves the interaction
100%. You are right on point.
I can relate dear Anita ❤ if every human was soft and kind this dimension was how it has to bee ✨❣️
I can relate so much...happens in my personal and business life all the time.
I 100% relate to this, Anita 🥰 I feel the same, I like to be gentle and kind, but if people push too much sometimes I set hard boundaries 😊 Sometimes one has to speak the same language that others understand, which might seem rude, unfortunately.
100%!!! I experiencing this constantly. I like to do things gently. ❤️
All the Time! in your kindness is your strength, and their nastiness is their weakness. I know this, yet difficult to figure out how to act with those people.
I'm not only empathic, I'm a Pisces lol. So YES, I relate! Just keep doing you, that's the only person you're responsible for pleasing! 😉
Anita, You are such a powerful speaker and beautiful soul. With all part of my body your words touch me and I could relate to that. Implying Kind these days needs more strength than being typical divisive. I will be supporting you with your lovely mission. Thanks, Arezou
Your beautiful Anita! And your bang on, I relate to everything your saying!
At minute 11:35 it finally becomes clear what the thumbnail means, I was a little worried about what you were going to say about JKR! However, I absolutely resonate with what you say, Anitaji.
Indeed more strenght to be kind ❤❤❤❤ love you Anita
I so relate to what you say, Anita! It took getting Cancer and having some "close" friends completely betray my trust and confidence to see how disempowered I had allowed myself to become. I was raised in what my husband calls the "Eggshell Family," a very gentle, nonconfrontational, compassionate family culture that , alas was very susceptible to being taken advantage of. I have worked very hard in the last couple of years to grow my backbone and my ability to set boundaries. Still, my desire to be kind, supportive, positive and compassionate puts me at a disadvantage with the kind of aggressive, ruthless, abrasive, steam-roller energy that is expressing itself so strongly in our present time I have lots of gifts, but I struggle so hard to self-promote. . It's so encouraging to hear you talk about your journey in this too!
You are such a true pioneer and living legend.
Those who are truly strong are the kindest 😊
This is a common problem with anyone serving people in the spiritual genre. I will say for myself I only listen to certain people that I resonate with and I think others are the same. Trying to reach everyone I think would be impossible. The most important person to be kimd to is yourself….then others follow. So if a situation is causing you pain, take a timeout, assess and if no good comes from the contact it is kind to walk away. Find people who you resonate with. One person cannot serve everyone….only universal consciousness can do that🇨🇦🙏🌷
Yes always have . My boundaries are pretty firm now but I have lost my daughter and grandson because of my boundaries which are essential for my healing x heartbroken but standing in my space with love .
I pray your daughter and grandson can come back into your life on good terms.
I am a typical one, all my life struggling with it. I love listening to you ❤️
Three words: "KNOW YOUR WORTH" ❤🙏🏆
I relate to what you are saying and have been faced with e same situation and have been really hurt and when i stood up for myself i too was labelled not so sweet anymore !
Very well said - I've literally told people 'you are taking advantage of my kindness and goodwill' and it will not continue - the boundary yes seems to keep moving - draw your own line when you have to. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Dear Anita, thank you so much for bringing this up. It’s such an important subject for sensitive, soft and kind people. 🙏🥰
Yes I absolutely relate to everything you said
Yeah, artists and other creative people and professions have the same issues when wanting fair recompense for our skills and experience (after decades of honing them). Often we get surprised reactions when we say the cost of the art we make. Yet, it's the 21st century and still people talk about the struggling artist, when it's a profession that has been around for years! Also, the whole boundaries I can relate to ... being an empath too. I often showed how thoughtful and caring I was and people would latch on to that...but it wouldn't be returned when I needed someone, so I kicked them out of my life.
Its true if you are kind and soft hearted you tend tp attract people who push you to destroy your good habits. what happen when light meets darkness it becones chaos. the best way is to mitigate with strong boundaries at the same time allowing everything to happen and pass.
Anita, you are always inspirational. Thank you for explaining this so well. 🌼 🌼 🌼
Thank you for emphasizing that it is important to take care of oneself as well or even before deciding to assist others. I have been struggling all my life with issues of guilt for having more than some of my friends and relatives and feeling obligated to pay for them all the time. I ended up avoiding closer contact with other people because I can't resolve this guilt issue within myself
oh wow.. I know that.. thank you for this! I relate to every sentence and deal with this so often
Wise words once again, thank you Anita. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas 🎄 ❤🎄
You have helped so many people. ❤❤❤❤
Thanks Anita, good for you, keep it up!! 🙏♥️
This is exactly what I have experienced for many years, but now I know that people who do that to me, that is not someone I want to know. I also want to be nice and polite to everyone. Thant you so much for your videos, I also have your books,Kirstine from Denmark.
Oh, ABSOLUTELY!
Thank you Anita, I relate yo to every word you said.
This video is meant for me today maybe thanks to my guides.
Abundance is the essence of the whole Universe. Thank you for this message
Anita, thank you so much! This vlog could not come with better timing for me! From bottom of my heart thank you and your entire team what you do for us! Blessings to you Anita, you surely are living Angel ❤
People must remember that you are human. And if everyone would simply be respectful of your kindness, things like that wouldn't happen. I don't see any reason why anyone would feel the need to be mean to you. If they do, they deserve to hear a harsh word. They should know better. I love and appreciate you. Your voice is calm and soothing, and your words are beneficial. You are very strong in many ways. Thank you for being a light in a dark world.
Wow Anita ,I’m going through that right now. No means no and it’s so uncomfortable. I had a physical reaction this morning because I have to again confront a person after I already made myself clear being kind. At one point I even blamed myself and did not understand how I ended up in the. situation that I now face. I am not well and was taken advantage of but only realized what was going on too late. Sometimes things take you by surprise so obviously my boundary does not matter only the other persons agenda.if I have to be assertive to get my point across then I will have to find a way to get my points across and now I’m totally uncomfortable with this person and no longer want them in my life. Mostly important is to protect my life and energy.
U can do it!
100%. So nice and validating to learn there are others like me.
It happens to me all the time. I am by nature a kind hearted person. There are people who take advantage of kindness. I don't like confrontations either.
Pls watch Aaron Doughty's, " How to stay in your frame". I am also an empath, and avoided conflict at all cost. This ain't a healthy approach though. Conflict isn't necessarily bad,and should be embraced.
I’m exactly like you, but I’ve started pushing back and being assertive.
Lol, that's water signs all over, especially Cancerians; I have distanced myself from family siblings for that precise reason. Namaste
Dear ma'am, how are you? This is one of the most important things you have discussed. Being kind doesn't mean you're weak. It's taken me a long time to accept that I don't like to fight. If there's a need I won't back down but I don't allow my niceness to be taken for a ride anymore.
I am always friendly to people and can have a lot of patience with them. Being unkind hurts myself. It's taken me most of my lifetime to teach myself to speak up when something bothers me. And when I do this, it often surprises people who see my kindness as a weakness.
Absolutely! I have this exact struggle. I care so very much about taking care of other’s feelings that often I would put myself at a disadvantage, sometimes to extreme. I’ve gotten much better at boundaries but it does not come easy to say the least.
I have great love and appreciation for you and ALL you do.
Also good for you for backing up the message that it’s okay to be successful in doing light work. I support you fully!!!
I never stop learning from you. Thank you very much! Please continue sharing your thoughts and beliefs to the world! ❤
That knowing yourself is love❤ and acting respectively from love❤️🙏😘😘😘😘💗