They probably attract each other because they are on the same vibration of lack of love. One gives love to be loved the other takes love to be loved. Always Love Bridget
Having experienced many relationships with narcissists and watching other empaths go through this, the biggest issue I see is the trauma bond that is formed. This is a highly addictive process that can take years to break in some cases. The answer is being absolutely ruthless with your journey to self love. Once you have self love, you will never accept narcissistic abuse ever again 💜
As an empath, I actually believed that loving a narc can someday make them reciprocate. Obviously, this isn't the case. The deep wounds don't heal because they're living through a false self and no one can reach their true self. Some wounded children become narcs, others become empaths. They are 2 sides of the same coin. I'm now living by a simple principle: I will accept no less than what I deserve. (it sounds better in French but you get the point). Self-love is within now so this was the lesson I had to learn. The narc also learned a lesson. I'm not around to witness the changes but we all have our soul contracts. This is part of my journey. Thank you for explaining this to some of us who need your message. I've done some of the work on myself, I've followed your channel for a while now. I had to listen to this message as I did your other ones. It's clear to me that I'm on the right path... I'm an empath. 🌹
Oh wow! Yes...I do feel this way. I had already made the link of feeling it was my fault as a child that my Mum wasn't happy (no wonder tho, her husband abandoned her with 4 young children & very little money to look after us!) & consequently I always feel guilty if people around me are not happy. I do feel it's my job to help everybody even to the detriment of my own health....then I feel guilty if I'm unwell cos burnt out & can't be fun or helpful to be around !! Thanks for this very insightful piece. So glad I found you.
I understand how difficult this must be for your friend. You are spot on about pleasing the other person & co-dependency. I’ve been through this. You lose yourself in the relationship. You forget about your own needs and wants. Narcissists are emotionally handicapped. Ending my thirty year marriage was the best thing for me. Blessings to all empaths 💖
100% Guilty always, every minute. My happiness has always been in seeing others happy, ALL others. It's way overboard! I feel everyone's mood, energy to the point of exhaustion. Empathy on this level has destroyed the life I worked for my whole life. Empaths find balance, seek help. May Gods grace be with you all
I can't call myself an empath, but I have given and been taken advantage of more than once. People have wanted more and more and more from me, more than I could give. We should be very careful who we give to and give ourselves to. A very big and important lesson!
I stayed with narcissists because (yes I wanted to save them), but more so that I thought I could "do no better". I felt so alien, unappealing, that I had no choice, no options. Friendships, romantic relationships, seem so conditional that they are impossible to maintain! It still amazes me that some do co-create partnerships that are loving, tender and healthy. They are truly blessed. Fortunately, I am now emotionally able to live alone with the earth (it's animals, plants, music, books and wonder).
I can’t thank you enough for this message and the surprising timing of it being posted on RUclips! I’m an empath who has been struggling with this issue needing confirmation of my experience and guidance. Bless you! Bless your friend for giving her permission! Bless Divine Timing.
It's so nice to hear from you Anita, thank you for this!💗 I was married to a narcissistic person and he got worse as the years went by, he's my ex now. I know I was being toxic because I depended on him to make me feel "loved". After all those years I spent with him I learned my lesson, which is, "I'm responsible for me, my feelings, my needs!" After I took the dive and left, of course it took him telling me he would change the locks if I left too see my family, well I did anyway! I divorced and have him an RO for threatening me. I'm better now and thankful to the angels for giving me the strength to leave and stay away! 🌞
I know I'm just an internet stranger but I'm so proud of you! Congratulations on loving yourself and putting yourself first. I hope you continue to go from strength to strength and have a fantastic life filled with goodness and joy!
I feel this is important to say... Don’t hold hope of a narcissist changing or improving with therapy. I’ve met many who are resistant to change and don’t take any accountability for their actions. sometimes insist they will change. Usually a ploy!
Yes, I feel similar... but, its up to the individual to make those decisions n I love Anita is very gentle with her advice, it helps people receive the message.... you r correct though, same in my experience!! Haha
Good morning Empath’s!! Thank you for this. I enjoyed your talk. I am always complementing people, and finding myself giving so much. I am surrounded by narcissistic humans in life And it’s so Toxic for me. I will be more mindful as far as who I let into my circle. And who I push out. You can’t let these people control my life!!! Take ahold of the wheel for once. I have to separate myself from these people.
I don't know how to thank you, I just asked for a separation and this guy still had the audacity to want sympathy from me. Thank you thank you thank you. I was worried for my kids, I feel they will be better off with a healed mom for now.
Thank you for this amazing video and super important message. I was dating a narcissist for a few years and feeling so grateful that I managed to pull myself out of the situation. It took me a long time to heal and now I am feeling so much safety within myself and I am so proud of my strong commitment to my life. I will never put myself in that situation again! Relationships are meant to feel good and peaceful💖
Such an important message, Anita! Vital for healthy relationships - codependency, or codependent tendencies of the empath being at the core of preventing the empath from leading life from a place of self-love and self-respect. I’ve learned it the hard way in a “relationship” with a narcissistic psychopath who exploited this tendency to serve everybody’s needs above my own but finally opened my eyes to the depths of my own destructive pattern and behavior. It was ingrained so deeply from the patterns I grew up with. No wonder Ross Rosenberg calls it self-love deficiency disorder. Hope this message spreads like wildfire. It is SO important. 🙏
I think that the most valuable lesson I learned in life was learning how to say, "No" to others. It wasn't easy, it took a lot of practice and I lost many "friends" who had the expectation that I would always "be there for them". My real friends supported me in this. However, after spending years feeling depressed, I realized it wasn't depression it was exhaustion! I knew if I didn't learn to care for myself FIRST, I would die. I am so sensitive to the energies of others, that I had to learn to limit my interactions with others. In other words, I'm comfortable with brief one on one interactions, but not in groups. I had to learn and bless my limits and see them as gifts. I also learned to be honest with myself and with others in a calm, clear and kind way. There are so many times we do things that we don't really want to do to please others. So, I have to practice being honest with myself by asking myself "Do I really want to do this?" I also learned that I do not owe an explanation for saying no to others. It is enough to just say kindly, "No, this wouldn't work for me". It takes lots and lots of daily practice to change these old habits but the result is serenity, peace and embracing who you are & that brings joy. Thank you, Anita, for your clarity!
I listened to your interview on Inspire Nation and you described the difference between sensitive people and empaths. I think I may be more a sensitive than an empath. I can distinguish the difference between my own emotions and someone elses, I think, and I don't always think someone elses bad mood is my fault, but I definitely feel a strong urge to help and will often sacrifice what is best for me in the process and will only realize my folly afterwards. This is the year when my pattern of self sacrifice is coming to the surface of my attention and I realize that I need to change this. Recently, I made a really big sacrifice and it was a big mistake and I don't know how to get out of it. Wish I had figured it out sooner. Thank you for being a resource for those of us who fall in the sensitive and empath category. Boy it is not easy to figure out. My mantra this year is "I count too". I must program this in.
Anita you're a genius and a light just went on for me...this is why my relationships never made it to Valentine's Day or my birthday right afterward. Fortunately, I met one of the sweetest humans in the whole world and our relationship made it past Valentine's Day and my birthday and here we are 25 years later. 🥳
Thank you, Anita!❤I have got this confirmation exactly when I needed! I am experiencing the same situation like your friend, and I can't thank you enough for what I have understood from you today! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much Anita for this video. You´re telling my own story with my 2 husbands. Fortunately I could realise It was me who needed help. Since I realised I need to love myself more, I cannot see/find anybody to be with me, and I´d love it... Thank you xx
I used to feel quite responsible for others' happiness, but I am much better now. I appreciate the reminder to be aware of it. Sometimes I go over the top in being kind to someone, and later realize it. Ex, having tight budget but felt obligated to treat someone when I was having a little treat myself ( Ice cream, lol). The proportion of taking care of my well-being versus others' is always a challenge.
Ohhh yes yes yes you’re talking about me here but I am I think moving out of this. 🙏😃💕🌈✨💫 I was told by my current partner saying he was disappointed in me because I believe different to him . But I made it clear that I’m not stopping my spiritual practices because it’s important to me. That was huge for me.👏🏼😃❤️ Good question about attracting the same vibration and great reply. True I tried that, you cannot fix anybody but yourself . Speaking from experience . Thank you sooooo much Anita , you’ve just confirmed everything I’ve been through and why. I am moving out of co- dependency I know it. So grateful I found this video today. Bless you always. 💕🙏🥰
your videos have encouraged me so much. I believe fear been broken off my life. I can live and do the will of the most high God without fear of making mistakes.
Love this video! Have shared it whith a friend who just is about to leave her relation with a narcissist! The timing is perfekt! ❤️👌🏻 Can you please share your music album on Spotify! And leave a link to that one you have made om Apple music. I’m not use to use that. Love your books and share them all empats I know! 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️
The one thing that may be helpful to the Enpath is that remember you are also being the enabler to the Narcassist. Walking away will give them the opportunity to get help with making necessary changes within themselves 🙏
Great message - as a recovering empath , I find it beneficial to hear these messages over & over again .. > I’m so habituated to being the hard working helper-friend. Society says being with a group of friends is ideal & being alone is an indicator of low self esteem. Or worse 🙁 It’s good to be reminded that individuation is a healthy part of growing up. Thank you - Team Anita 🧡😄😍🤩🌻
I'm a loner too in some ways, yeah society celebrates the gregarious type n we r left feeling sorta guilty for not being exactly like them!? Whats up with that? It'd be a boring world if all were the same
Sorry what’s a “recovering” empath? Anita preaches embracing being an empath….she says it’s a gift. Of course she also teaches about things like self love, not allowing people to treat you like a doormat, etc
I’m not sure it’s best to recommend therapy to a narcissistic person. They usually only go to therapy as a game, since they enjoy being who they are. This advice may be warranted, but only in the context of no contact. In that case, there is no opportunity to leverage the “I’ve changed” card. Perhaps it depends upon the degree of narcissism. Though that can fluctuate in appearance depending upon circumstances, and an empath can waste countless years of their lives trying to make sure they’re being absolutely “fair” about their assessment to give up on engaging with a person. In so doing, expose themselves to trauma and reducing their ability to work with their talents and create things in the world. 🌻
Omg.... so true, they r usually so unwilling to see their faults!!! I have a large ego at times, but I KNOW I have to constantly keep my bravado in check n humble. I have both a narcissistic side n an empath side.... luckily, I've mellowed the narcissist(which is a shell for the hurt inside, cuz anger feels better than sadness), n I'm doing my best to balance.
Thank you Anita. I am happy to see you. I was that way but ...finally I learn. It is hard to recognize that someone do not see (or treat) us the same way. Is like be blind and when the veil fall, it hurt.
Thank you for this Anita. While I don't feel my husband is truly a narcissist (he is very kind to me and says he loves me even when I'm struggling), but I am definitely dealing with a situation where I've pushed myself way to far into something I don't like to do in order to make my husband happy, and I finally hit a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Of course he's really disappointed, as it was his huge dream, and so it feels like a knife in my heart. I've toyed with going back and saying I'll try again just to make him happy, but I just can't. I believe he truly does value me but it's such a tough thing to try to change myself on this. I really needed this. Thank you!
Have been through this many years ago. It took me five years to get out of this relationship and to recognize how bad he was for me. It was such a relief, when I finally was on my own again. ❤️
Thank you, Anita💛 You are such a bright light, and speaking of, thank you for shining light on this subject. It is so important to realize & then break the codependency cycle because if not, it will literally slowly suck the lifeforce out of you until you are a hollow version of yourself. Stay whole, stay charged up empaths.
Thanks Anita 😉 you knew exactly what me and my wife is are going threw . I believe 🙏 in you and you believe in us . Thank you so much !!! We have been working on our relationship and we are happy and looking for help when needed. 🤗
Wish I had known young what I know now. Was married to an NPD guy for 25 years. Left when I was totally dead inside. I'm an INFP, 9w1, HSP empath. This is great info to share! Thanks Anita.
17 years in the patten of codependency, so glad I am free. Happy and supporting others to move into their highest potential. Anita you nailed this today! Thank you!
This is so good. Maybe you could do a video on what healthy relationships look like. Key traits , how healthy couples fight, realistically when emotions get raw, how healthy couples get their needs met together. Thank you so much!
Exactly "they dont deserve it" I feel the same for couple of my folks. So good natured and yet such people in their life taking advantage of them and insulting them and yet they want to continue. I just want them to know this is not it. But they are still mellow. I feel bad.. Its not a gf bf relation. Its mother and son and daughter in law relation. I dont want my parents to get hurt in their old age.
I have been married to a narcissist for 12 years, and I am an empath. I have been trying to find a way out for 3 years and am about to. I am trying to make plans to go back to the states in August if everything can be worked out. I have been miserable in this relationship for the 13 total years I have been with him. I moved all the way to Thailand 10 years ago, in the hopes that it would strengthen our relationship, because he is half Thai and convinced me to move here with him. I was sadly mistaken. I have loved being in Thailand, but have not loved this relationship at all. I will say that I am scared, because he is not happy with my choice to leave, and I don't know how things will be in the time I am still here. My situation is very complicated, and there are so many things at play here, that is causing me a lot of stress, fear and anxiety. I hope I am able to keep myself together and to be able to get out of here without incident. But I am very worried. I wish your friend the very best in her situation, and hope she finds the happiness she deserves.
Thank you for sharing this message, Anita 🙏🏻💙, and to your friend for being so kind to agree for her situation to be used as an example. This is so important! and I love how you're able to explain things in a clear and effective way giving different examples. I'm an empath and in the past I have felt and behaved as you described, but I've worked on myself and have encountered wonderful sources of support. I'm now conscious about my natural tendency to over giving so I'm very aware that I've to put my well-being first to be able to help others. By changing my behaviour I've changed my relationships for the best, I'm now confident to speak my feelings and thoughts without the fear of not playing t others. My true loving relationships have also changed and grown with me, and the people who were not in resonance just drifted away. I can't agree more with you message and would encourage anyone going through a difficult situation like your friend's to find support to consciously practise self-love and define healthy boundaries, after a while everything will fall into the perfect state of harmony 🌺 Sending much love and courage to all of you who are in need for a life change right now 💗
Thank you for your videos. I was tuned in during the lockdown and found your thoughts and words helpful, insightful, and healing. Please continue to share💜
You bring so much value to the world Anita, and you have opened my mind in so many ways, talking about many "forbidden" subject matters in new eye opening ways and you also do so without sounding judgmental which is truly a gift. I often can see an issue more clearly after hearing your words. Thank YOU!! Much love to you and your whole community❤️❤️✨✨🌈
Yes! I do feel it is my fault if someone is unhappy. Also, I feel if I dissapoint others something bad will happen to me. It's a deep issue from my childhood. It's really one of my top issues. I don't know how to heal this. I am already aware I do it. I don't have enough healthy people in my life.
What a timely message thankyou!! So needed to hear this today as I have been slowly realising that my relationship has not been a healthy nurturing one, I have always given and given to my detriment and 18 months ago I was diagnosed with a serious health condition and my partner was not able to be supportive of me when I needed it then last year my beautiful sonwas killed suddenly whilst on holiday and once again my partner has not been able to be supportive at all and I have never felt more alone this past year, however I am realising that I am stronger than I ever realised and I have been given a valuable life lesson, self love and healthy boundaries are what I am working on now 💗
Oh man, thank you 😊 Dear Anita, for that topic. I started dabbling in the 'ol dating pool for first time since having my spiritual awakening/bipolar issues.... I am very pensive about it. Been flirting with a guy whose going through the loss of a loved one. Us empaths seem to draw in those we wanna soothe/nurture.... tricky business!!! Haha 😄 I am going to keep things light, n thank you for your tips, gave me better clarity on how to move forward 😄.... LOVE you 😍 Have a Great Week Friends!!!!
You just told my life ATM To A T and my partner is so mad and he said, she's taking too you.. Hesitating on going to the ER from my brain filming with fluid and my heart having issues. You know!
I think there are times when we are in toxic relationships that we need to simply step out of. But I also think sometimes we are challenged to grow from our painful relationship. Btw you look great Anita!
I think this video was a little too generalized. With all things possible, there are some nice, loving narcissists out there just as there are some very not so nice empaths. I think we get a little too caught up in the labels sometimes, and that is the part we hear and stick to. "Anita said Narcissists are bad, so they are bad, stay away from all Narcissists" (not these amazing viewers of course, but some people). I would have thought the message should be it doesn't matter who your partner is (narcissist, philanthropist, or little grey alien), if they aren't supporting you in a loving way, then love that person enough to move on so that you can both find a relationship more suited to who you are. I totally get this one was more situational to your friend who is currently going through a break up, and how you see this similar kind of behaviour in others, I am just thinking about those who might miss the core of the message because they got caught up in the labels.
There are definitely many different ways that narcissism can manifest and not all ways are obvious and volatile. There is a you tube channel by HG Tudor (who has identified himself as a narcissistic psychopath) who says that everyone has narcissistic traits, including empaths. Empaths are human beings and so also have not so nice moments. The difference I guess is in the balance of traits and what is dominant and whether the person has the ability to feel compassion, self reflect on their wrong doings, and respect boundaries...sense of entitlement etc. I think it is a really complex subject to get one's mind around and certainly not one that can ever be fully covered in one video. It sounds like there are levels of behaviours with narcissists and one does need to manage expectations if you are in a relationship with one and decide what your own deal breakers are. I do think though, that a relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to ever be truly healthy. I do agree that this can also apply to an empath who has not become aware and learns to heal themselves. They too are obviously not creating healthy relationships.
Dear Anita, in my opinion, separation is really the last possible option. Maybe it's right, maybe not. People don't meet by chance. Basically, it is always a suppressed need that has not been or is not met. Even with an emphatic. Allowing yourself to become aware of this and to give space sometimes opens up completely new (your own) paths and you could still decide to part. Your girlfriend's point of view is not objective about what you are describing. Here the focus is on guilt with the other .. but one partner cannot actually meet the needs of the other anyway .. only supplement (knowledge for both :)). And that can be rediscovered. Space and time. Just another possible angle :) .. Thanks! and many greetings from Germany Ps .. I hope the translation program does a good job: D
In this case I think fear is the dominant factor when an empath sees the people around him disappointed, so he tries his best to please other people in order to win their love and approval
Anyway, thank you anita. Recently I encounter a relationship in which she is not suitable for me, I really think I should not drain myself to meet her demands. That's a bad idea. Wonderful insights . Thank you
Is it common for narcissistic people to call you selfish if you start talking about how YOU feel? And consequently for an empath to start believing it?
3 года назад
Hello Anita, I would like to subtitle your video in french, on my new channel. How to do it in practice ? In the whole video I recognized myself for the story I lived but also for the teaching I got from it. You knew how to express it from the beginning to the end without forgetting anything. Thank you.
Hi Anita! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ Thank you so much for this video. This is grace at work...because I am dealing with a codependent relantionship for 21 years now, I am beeing an empath ... I am finding very dificult to get out from this situation because of my feelings of guilt and fear about what it will be if I just walk away. We don't speak the same language anymore, we don't share the same emotions and passions about things, and when I am happy and joyfull he sees me as selfish, because I don't care about him and about his hapyness more . Sorry if I misspell... I wanted to ask you if you would want to speak about fear to get out from a situation like this. Fear about the unknown, about what people would say about me, about my kids rejected me if I will do this, and I will end up all alone... Thank you so much!!! I know that we are all conected and we are all one, and you are a messenger for me right now, because I really did not watch your videos for a long time, but this morning your video with your nice skirt bought from India in 2012 just popped up and I just clicked it....and BOOM!!!! The information was for me NOW!!! Thank you sooo sooo much and I love you!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Anita, what is your take on athletic competition for empaths? What strengths can they bring to the social aspects like trash talk, upsmanship, and failing multiple times in front of others?
Your friend could use a Chick-fil-A sandwich with extra pickles and a milkshake. Everything will be ok. Even if she thinks she can’t handle this, her heart will show her she can. Hope you’re doing well Anita!👋
They probably attract each other because they are on the same vibration of lack of love. One gives love to be loved the other takes love to be loved.
Always Love Bridget
Having experienced many relationships with narcissists and watching other empaths go through this, the biggest issue I see is the trauma bond that is formed. This is a highly addictive process that can take years to break in some cases. The answer is being absolutely ruthless with your journey to self love. Once you have self love, you will never accept narcissistic abuse ever again 💜
That is true! Self Love is the key 🙏💖
Yes, I try to fully appreciate myself to avoid empath pitfalls, but I am not sure if fully there.... daily struggle at feeling worthy
As an empath, I actually believed that loving a narc can someday make them reciprocate. Obviously, this isn't the case. The deep wounds don't heal because they're living through a false self and no one can reach their true self. Some wounded children become narcs, others become empaths. They are 2 sides of the same coin. I'm now living by a simple principle: I will accept no less than what I deserve. (it sounds better in French but you get the point). Self-love is within now so this was the lesson I had to learn. The narc also learned a lesson. I'm not around to witness the changes but we all have our soul contracts. This is part of my journey. Thank you for explaining this to some of us who need your message. I've done some of the work on myself, I've followed your channel for a while now. I had to listen to this message as I did your other ones. It's clear to me that I'm on the right path... I'm an empath. 🌹
Narcs only understand power. The problem is who wants to be in a relationship that way? I'd rather be loving and find someone who appreciates that.
Oh wow! Yes...I do feel this way. I had already made the link of feeling it was my fault as a child that my Mum wasn't happy (no wonder tho, her husband abandoned her with 4 young children & very little money to look after us!) & consequently I always feel guilty if people around me are not happy. I do feel it's my job to help everybody even to the detriment of my own health....then I feel guilty if I'm unwell cos burnt out & can't be fun or helpful to be around !! Thanks for this very insightful piece. So glad I found you.
I understand how difficult this must be for your friend. You are spot on about pleasing the other person & co-dependency. I’ve been through this. You lose yourself in the relationship. You forget about your own needs and wants. Narcissists are emotionally handicapped. Ending my thirty year marriage was the best thing for me. Blessings to all empaths 💖
100% Guilty always, every minute. My happiness has always been in seeing others happy, ALL others. It's way overboard! I feel everyone's mood, energy to the point of exhaustion. Empathy on this level has destroyed the life I worked for my whole life. Empaths find balance, seek help. May Gods grace be with you all
Learn more about “grounding” often for me that means sleeping on my couch.
I can't call myself an empath, but I have given and been taken advantage of more than once. People have wanted more and more and more from me, more than I could give.
We should be very careful who we give to and give ourselves to. A very big and important lesson!
Yes, it’s amazing how people are repelled, when your own vibrations are authentic. That’s why I am single.
I stayed with narcissists because (yes I wanted to save them), but more so that I thought I could "do no better". I felt so alien, unappealing, that I had no choice, no options. Friendships, romantic relationships, seem so conditional that they are impossible to maintain! It still amazes me that some do co-create partnerships that are loving, tender and healthy. They are truly blessed. Fortunately, I am now emotionally able to live alone with the earth (it's animals, plants, music, books and wonder).
I can’t thank you enough for this message and the surprising timing of it being posted on RUclips! I’m an empath who has been struggling with this issue needing confirmation of my experience and guidance. Bless you! Bless your friend for giving her permission! Bless Divine Timing.
It's so nice to hear from you Anita, thank you for this!💗
I was married to a narcissistic person and he got worse as the years went by, he's my ex now. I know I was being toxic because I depended on him to make me feel "loved". After all those years I spent with him I learned my lesson, which is, "I'm responsible for me, my feelings, my needs!" After I took the dive and left, of course it took him telling me he would change the locks if I left too see my family, well I did anyway! I divorced and have him an RO for threatening me. I'm better now and thankful to the angels for giving me the strength to leave and stay away! 🌞
I know I'm just an internet stranger but I'm so proud of you! Congratulations on loving yourself and putting yourself first. I hope you continue to go from strength to strength and have a fantastic life filled with goodness and joy!
I feel this is important to say...
Don’t hold hope of a narcissist changing or improving with therapy. I’ve met many who are resistant to change and don’t take any accountability for their actions. sometimes insist they will change. Usually a ploy!
Yes, I feel similar... but, its up to the individual to make those decisions n I love Anita is very gentle with her advice, it helps people receive the message.... you r correct though, same in my experience!! Haha
A narcissist will change, as long as it's their way on their time and you do what they say.
Good morning Empath’s!!
Thank you for this.
I enjoyed your talk.
I am always complementing people, and finding myself giving so much.
I am surrounded by narcissistic humans in life
And it’s so Toxic for me.
I will be more mindful as far as who I let into my circle. And who I push out.
You can’t let these people control my life!!!
Take ahold of the wheel for once.
I have to separate myself from these people.
I don't know how to thank you, I just asked for a separation and this guy still had the audacity to want sympathy from me. Thank you thank you thank you. I was worried for my kids, I feel they will be better off with a healed mom for now.
Thank you for this amazing video and super important message. I was dating a narcissist for a few years and feeling so grateful that I managed to pull myself out of the situation. It took me a long time to heal and now I am feeling so much safety within myself and I am so proud of my strong commitment to my life. I will never put myself in that situation again! Relationships are meant to feel good and peaceful💖
Such an important message, Anita!
Vital for healthy relationships - codependency, or codependent tendencies of the empath being at the core of preventing the empath from leading life from a place of self-love and self-respect. I’ve learned it the hard way in a “relationship” with a narcissistic psychopath who exploited this tendency to serve everybody’s needs above my own but finally opened my eyes to the depths of my own destructive pattern and behavior. It was ingrained so deeply from the patterns I grew up with. No wonder Ross Rosenberg calls it self-love deficiency disorder. Hope this message spreads like wildfire. It is SO important. 🙏
I believe Ross Rosenberg offers the most compelling route map to self-love.
Same! Its annoying, I feel like I have to have an invisible shield up and a "tough as nails attitude" to keep the riff-raff at bay!!! Haha
I love Your work Anita ❤️🌺
Greetings from Poland
I think that the most valuable lesson I learned in life was learning how to say, "No" to others. It wasn't easy, it took a lot of practice and I lost many "friends" who had the expectation that I would always "be there for them". My real friends supported me in this. However, after spending years feeling depressed, I realized it wasn't depression it was exhaustion! I knew if I didn't learn to care for myself FIRST, I would die. I am so sensitive to the energies of others, that I had to learn to limit my interactions with others. In other words, I'm comfortable with brief one on one interactions, but not in groups. I had to learn and bless my limits and see them as gifts. I also learned to be honest with myself and with others in a calm, clear and kind way. There are so many times we do things that we don't really want to do to please others. So, I have to practice being honest with myself by asking myself "Do I really want to do this?" I also learned that I do not owe an explanation for saying no to others. It is enough to just say kindly, "No, this wouldn't work for me". It takes lots and lots of daily practice to change these old habits but the result is serenity, peace and embracing who you are & that brings joy. Thank you, Anita, for your clarity!
I listened to your interview on Inspire Nation and you described the difference between sensitive people and empaths. I think I may be more a sensitive than an empath. I can distinguish the difference between my own emotions and someone elses, I think, and I don't always think someone elses bad mood is my fault, but I definitely feel a strong urge to help and will often sacrifice what is best for me in the process and will only realize my folly afterwards. This is the year when my pattern of self sacrifice is coming to the surface of my attention and I realize that I need to change this. Recently, I made a really big sacrifice and it was a big mistake and I don't know how to get out of it. Wish I had figured it out sooner. Thank you for being a resource for those of us who fall in the sensitive and empath category. Boy it is not easy to figure out. My mantra this year is "I count too". I must program this in.
Anita you're a genius and a light just went on for me...this is why my relationships never made it to Valentine's Day or my birthday right afterward. Fortunately, I met one of the sweetest humans in the whole world and our relationship made it past Valentine's Day and my birthday and here we are 25 years later. 🥳
Thank you, Anita!❤I have got this confirmation exactly when I needed! I am experiencing the same situation like your friend, and I can't thank you enough for what I have understood from you today! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much Anita for this video. You´re telling my own story with my 2 husbands. Fortunately I could realise It was me who needed help. Since I realised I need to love myself more, I cannot see/find anybody to be with me, and I´d love it... Thank you xx
Yes, you right on!! I drove my mom crazy...Drive myself crazy with exactly what you say!!
Thank you for the sharing.
I used to feel quite responsible for others' happiness, but I am much better now. I appreciate the reminder to be aware of it. Sometimes I go over the top in being kind to someone, and later realize it. Ex, having tight budget but felt obligated to treat someone when I was having a little treat myself ( Ice cream, lol).
The proportion of taking care of my well-being versus others' is always a challenge.
Ohhh yes yes yes you’re talking about me here but I am I think moving out of this. 🙏😃💕🌈✨💫 I was told by my current partner saying he was disappointed in me because I believe different to him . But I made it clear that I’m not stopping my spiritual practices because it’s important to me. That was huge for me.👏🏼😃❤️
Good question about attracting the same vibration and great reply.
True I tried that, you cannot fix anybody but yourself . Speaking from experience .
Thank you sooooo much Anita , you’ve just confirmed everything I’ve been through and why. I am moving out of co- dependency I know it. So grateful I found this video today.
Bless you always. 💕🙏🥰
There’s something so innocent and light about you. Thank you for sharing your energy.
your videos have encouraged me so much. I believe fear been broken off my life. I can live and do the will of the most high God without fear of making mistakes.
Love this video! Have shared it whith a friend who just is about to leave her relation with a narcissist! The timing is perfekt! ❤️👌🏻
Can you please share your music album on Spotify! And leave a link to that one you have made om Apple music. I’m not use to use that.
Love your books and share them all empats I know! 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️
Thank you for not only your wisdom, but sharing it in relatable ways we can understand.
I am grateful.
The one thing that may be helpful to the Enpath is that remember you are also being the enabler to the Narcassist. Walking away will give them the opportunity to get help with making necessary changes within themselves 🙏
This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Thank you for this helpful message. ❤️
Great message - as a recovering empath ,
I find it beneficial to hear these messages over & over again ..
> I’m so habituated to being the hard working helper-friend.
Society says being with a group of friends is ideal & being alone is an indicator of low self esteem.
Or worse 🙁
It’s good to be reminded that individuation is a healthy part of growing up.
Thank you - Team Anita 🧡😄😍🤩🌻
I'm a loner too in some ways, yeah society celebrates the gregarious type n we r left feeling sorta guilty for not being exactly like them!? Whats up with that? It'd be a boring world if all were the same
Sorry what’s a “recovering” empath? Anita preaches embracing being an empath….she says it’s a gift. Of course she also teaches about things like self love, not allowing people to treat you like a doormat, etc
I’m not sure it’s best to recommend therapy to a narcissistic person. They usually only go to therapy as a game, since they enjoy being who they are. This advice may be warranted, but only in the context of no contact. In that case, there is no opportunity to leverage the “I’ve changed” card.
Perhaps it depends upon the degree of narcissism. Though that can fluctuate in appearance depending upon circumstances, and an empath can waste countless years of their lives trying to make sure they’re being absolutely “fair” about their assessment to give up on engaging with a person. In so doing, expose themselves to trauma and reducing their ability to work with their talents and create things in the world. 🌻
True. I learned this the hard way!!!
Omg.... so true, they r usually so unwilling to see their faults!!! I have a large ego at times, but I KNOW I have to constantly keep my bravado in check n humble. I have both a narcissistic side n an empath side.... luckily, I've mellowed the narcissist(which is a shell for the hurt inside, cuz anger feels better than sadness), n I'm doing my best to balance.
Thank you Anita. I am happy to see you. I was that way but
...finally I learn. It is hard to recognize that someone do not see (or treat) us the same way. Is like be blind and when the veil fall, it hurt.
So helpful! Thank you so much for everything you share with us, I am so grateful 🙏 Love and light from Athens! ~Namaste~
This does not only apply to romantic relationships but also friends, family and employer too
Thank you for this Anita. While I don't feel my husband is truly a narcissist (he is very kind to me and says he loves me even when I'm struggling), but I am definitely dealing with a situation where I've pushed myself way to far into something I don't like to do in order to make my husband happy, and I finally hit a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Of course he's really disappointed, as it was his huge dream, and so it feels like a knife in my heart. I've toyed with going back and saying I'll try again just to make him happy, but I just can't. I believe he truly does value me but it's such a tough thing to try to change myself on this. I really needed this. Thank you!
A very similar thing happened to me, a current divorcee, but I don't regret my decision
Have been through this many years ago. It took me five years to get out of this relationship and to recognize how bad he was for me. It was such a relief, when I finally was on my own again. ❤️
Thank you, Anita💛 You are such a bright light, and speaking of, thank you for shining light on this subject. It is so important to realize & then break the codependency cycle because if not, it will literally slowly suck the lifeforce out of you until you are a hollow version of yourself. Stay whole, stay charged up empaths.
Thanks Anita 😉 you knew exactly what me and my wife is are going threw . I believe 🙏 in you and you believe in us . Thank you so much !!! We have been working on our relationship and we are happy and looking for help when needed. 🤗
Wish I had known young what I know now. Was married to an NPD guy for 25 years. Left when I was totally dead inside. I'm an INFP, 9w1, HSP empath. This is great info to share! Thanks Anita.
Thank you, lovely Anita. You stay alive and genuine - a real inspiration for real-life people. ❤
Thank you so much for this message ❤️ so true 😊
Greetings from Canada 🍁 👋
17 years in the patten of codependency, so glad I am free. Happy and supporting others to move into their highest potential. Anita you nailed this today! Thank you!
Thank You, Anita!
Earth Angel Anita. 🙏🏻💜😇🌈💫🌍☀️🦄
This is so good. Maybe you could do a video on what healthy relationships look like. Key traits , how healthy couples fight, realistically when emotions get raw, how healthy couples get their needs met together. Thank you so much!
Exactly "they dont deserve it"
I feel the same for couple of my folks. So good natured and yet such people in their life taking advantage of them and insulting them and yet they want to continue. I just want them to know this is not it. But they are still mellow. I feel bad.. Its not a gf bf relation. Its mother and son and daughter in law relation. I dont want my parents to get hurt in their old age.
I have been married to a narcissist for 12 years, and I am an empath. I have been trying to find a way out for 3 years and am about to. I am trying to make plans to go back to the states in August if everything can be worked out. I have been miserable in this relationship for the 13 total years I have been with him. I moved all the way to Thailand 10 years ago, in the hopes that it would strengthen our relationship, because he is half Thai and convinced me to move here with him. I was sadly mistaken. I have loved being in Thailand, but have not loved this relationship at all. I will say that I am scared, because he is not happy with my choice to leave, and I don't know how things will be in the time I am still here. My situation is very complicated, and there are so many things at play here, that is causing me a lot of stress, fear and anxiety. I hope I am able to keep myself together and to be able to get out of here without incident. But I am very worried. I wish your friend the very best in her situation, and hope she finds the happiness she deserves.
Oh Anita thanks for this video!!! Yes you can get suck and dye slowly and painfully if you are an empath with a narcisistic partner. God bless you.
Thank you for sharing this message, Anita 🙏🏻💙, and to your friend for being so kind to agree for her situation to be used as an example. This is so important! and I love how you're able to explain things in a clear and effective way giving different examples. I'm an empath and in the past I have felt and behaved as you described, but I've worked on myself and have encountered wonderful sources of support. I'm now conscious about my natural tendency to over giving so I'm very aware that I've to put my well-being first to be able to help others. By changing my behaviour I've changed my relationships for the best, I'm now confident to speak my feelings and thoughts without the fear of not playing t others. My true loving relationships have also changed and grown with me, and the people who were not in resonance just drifted away. I can't agree more with you message and would encourage anyone going through a difficult situation like your friend's to find support to consciously practise self-love and define healthy boundaries, after a while everything will fall into the perfect state of harmony 🌺 Sending much love and courage to all of you who are in need for a life change right now 💗
Thank you for your videos. I was tuned in during the lockdown and found your thoughts and words helpful, insightful, and healing. Please continue to share💜
Thank you Anita, blessings from Zacatecas
thank you Anita
I needed to hear this so much, Anita. Thank you 🙏
333 comments 😇 Thank you universe & Thank you Anita for sharing your truthful thoughts. 🙏🏻💗🙏🏻
As an empath, this resonated with me. Thank you!
So so so true each word of yours❤️
You bring so much value to the world Anita, and you have opened my mind in so many ways, talking about many "forbidden" subject matters in new eye opening ways and you also do so without sounding judgmental which is truly a gift. I often can see an issue more clearly after hearing your words. Thank YOU!! Much love to you and your whole community❤️❤️✨✨🌈
Thank you so much for sharing ❣️
Yes! I do feel it is my fault if someone is unhappy. Also, I feel if I dissapoint others something bad will happen to me. It's a deep issue from my childhood. It's really one of my top issues. I don't know how to heal this. I am already aware I do it. I don't have enough healthy people in my life.
What a timely message thankyou!! So needed to hear this today as I have been slowly realising that my relationship has not been a healthy nurturing one, I have always given and given to my detriment and 18 months ago I was diagnosed with a serious health condition and my partner was not able to be supportive of me when I needed it then last year my beautiful sonwas killed suddenly whilst on holiday and once again my partner has not been able to be supportive at all and I have never felt more alone this past year, however I am realising that I am stronger than I ever realised and I have been given a valuable life lesson, self love and healthy boundaries are what I am working on now 💗
Oh man, thank you 😊 Dear Anita, for that topic. I started dabbling in the 'ol dating pool for first time since having my spiritual awakening/bipolar issues.... I am very pensive about it. Been flirting with a guy whose going through the loss of a loved one. Us empaths seem to draw in those we wanna soothe/nurture.... tricky business!!! Haha 😄 I am going to keep things light, n thank you for your tips, gave me better clarity on how to move forward 😄.... LOVE you 😍 Have a Great Week Friends!!!!
Hi there, it is so good to see you.
You just told my life ATM To A T and my partner is so mad and he said, she's taking too you.. Hesitating on going to the ER from my brain filming with fluid and my heart having issues. You know!
Bless you
I love this topic. This was so me in all of my previous relationships. 🤦♀️
I think there are times when we are in toxic relationships that we need to simply step out of. But I also think sometimes we are challenged to grow from our painful relationship. Btw you look great Anita!
Hi Anita can you do a video on what the difference is between caring and loving yourself and what narcissist self involvement/self care/self focus
Would love to see your music on a public playlist on Spotify too. It’s easy, promise. Thank you for creating it on Apple Music. ❤️
Thank you~♡♡Anita&Danny♡♡
Thanks for the reminder Anita. 🙆♀️
Thank You!!
So glad to see you!
This resonated deeply Anita, thanks for sharing💛
This is perfect timing.
Thank you for this message.
Technical feedback.
I hear the moderator better than Anita. They should switch their microphones.
I think this video was a little too generalized. With all things possible, there are some nice, loving narcissists out there just as there are some very not so nice empaths. I think we get a little too caught up in the labels sometimes, and that is the part we hear and stick to. "Anita said Narcissists are bad, so they are bad, stay away from all Narcissists" (not these amazing viewers of course, but some people). I would have thought the message should be it doesn't matter who your partner is (narcissist, philanthropist, or little grey alien), if they aren't supporting you in a loving way, then love that person enough to move on so that you can both find a relationship more suited to who you are. I totally get this one was more situational to your friend who is currently going through a break up, and how you see this similar kind of behaviour in others, I am just thinking about those who might miss the core of the message because they got caught up in the labels.
There are definitely many different ways that narcissism can manifest and not all ways are obvious and volatile. There is a you tube channel by HG Tudor (who has identified himself as a narcissistic psychopath) who says that everyone has narcissistic traits, including empaths. Empaths are human beings and so also have not so nice moments. The difference I guess is in the balance of traits and what is dominant and whether the person has the ability to feel compassion, self reflect on their wrong doings, and respect boundaries...sense of entitlement etc. I think it is a really complex subject to get one's mind around and certainly not one that can ever be fully covered in one video. It sounds like there are levels of behaviours with narcissists and one does need to manage expectations if you are in a relationship with one and decide what your own deal breakers are. I do think though, that a relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to ever be truly healthy. I do agree that this can also apply to an empath who has not become aware and learns to heal themselves. They too are obviously not creating healthy relationships.
Dear Anita, in my opinion, separation is really the last possible option. Maybe it's right, maybe not. People don't meet by chance. Basically, it is always a suppressed need that has not been or is not met. Even with an emphatic. Allowing yourself to become aware of this and to give space sometimes opens up completely new (your own) paths and you could still decide to part. Your girlfriend's point of view is not objective about what you are describing. Here the focus is on guilt with the other .. but one partner cannot actually meet the needs of the other anyway .. only supplement (knowledge for both :)). And that can be rediscovered. Space and time. Just another possible angle :) .. Thanks! and many greetings from Germany
Ps .. I hope the translation program does a good job: D
In this case I think fear is the dominant factor when an empath sees the people around him disappointed, so he tries his best to please other people in order to win their love and approval
Anyway, thank you anita. Recently I encounter a relationship in which she is not suitable for me, I really think I should not drain myself to meet her demands. That's a bad idea. Wonderful insights . Thank you
Is it common for narcissistic people to call you selfish if you start talking about how YOU feel? And consequently for an empath to start believing it?
Hello Anita, I would like to subtitle your video in french, on my new channel. How to do it in practice ?
In the whole video I recognized myself for the story I lived but also for the teaching I got from it. You knew how to express it from the beginning to the end without forgetting anything. Thank you.
We don’t break up from others. We break up with self disconnected and we break up from our own unhealthy patterns
Hi Anita! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much for this video. This is grace at work...because I am dealing with a codependent relantionship for 21 years now, I am beeing an empath ...
I am finding very dificult to get out from this situation because of my feelings of guilt and fear about what it will be if I just walk away. We don't speak the same language anymore, we don't share the same emotions and passions about things, and when I am happy and joyfull he sees me as selfish, because I don't care about him and about his hapyness more .
Sorry if I misspell...
I wanted to ask you if you would want to speak about fear to get out from a situation like this. Fear about the unknown, about what people would say about me, about my kids rejected me if I will do this, and I will end up all alone...
Thank you so much!!! I know that we are all conected and we are all one, and you are a messenger for me right now, because I really did not watch your videos for a long time, but this morning your video with your nice skirt bought from India in 2012 just popped up and I just clicked it....and BOOM!!!! The information was for me NOW!!!
Thank you sooo sooo much and I love you!!!
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Good Morning from poland💕💕💕
Love ❤️
Anita, what is your take on athletic competition for empaths? What strengths can they bring to the social aspects like trash talk, upsmanship, and failing multiple times in front of others?
Truth ❤😂
Yep!!! 😳
I've started to say no.
It affects me so I like to avoid them.
during your NDE, while you saw your body- "Is it your real physical body"
Curious if there is also a spectrum for these traits. And what can be done for people stuck in narcissism?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Big ❤💙 heart
how can I my my prayers heard, Ineed prayer to get peace of mind. why should we fear death if the other side is better
Hey Mr. or Mrs. empath 😃😃😃 …..
Your friend could use a Chick-fil-A sandwich with extra pickles and a milkshake. Everything will be ok. Even if she thinks she can’t handle this, her heart will show her she can.
Hope you’re doing well Anita!👋
So good to see you, NemeanLion! Yes, I'm well! :)
@@anitamoorjani That’s great 😊