My mom was an alcoholic from the time I was 12yo-23yo but then she quit after her liver transplant. My dad was a perfectionist and battled OCD but he never even knew what his battles were. I battle guilt in ALL of my relationships. I battle perfectionism and OCD and I am eternally grateful for your continual encouragement to overcome.
Would love for you to do a video on the topic of aging parents, who have complex health issues and are needing more and more from their adult children. Many of these tips, while excellent advice, take on a whole other meaning and a new level (or many levels) of complexity in navigating.
Accept, cut the codependency, boundaries, separate for clarity When I complained to God about my partner, I heard only 1 thing - accept them for where they are at. Not easy, but so much wisdom in it, and now Mark even says the same
I have a hard time exiting groups and conversations, and always feel guilty if I leave before everyone else does. Going to work on my “wrap-it-up” skills - thanks for the insight, Mark!
@@joelgrumblatt2747- COOL. Stopping a conversation before it naturally or more easily ends has been impossible to me but somehow, with some new internal pieces, I am asserting myself way before I drain out or *need* to leave and without offering a reason. I just really appreciate your comment and find it encouraging because it's relatable for me! Thanks.
I think my husband operates out of guilt instead of love. It’s clicked with me watching this video and has made me realise why I always feel like we’re playing by different rules in our relationship. I’d be interested in hearing how you navigate these kind of issues in a marriage as you can’t just avoid being with them unless you want a divorce which I don’t. Thanks xx
This is fantastic! I spoke to my counselor about this topic today, mainly boundary setting and people pleasing. This is not an option, Must learn to say no and choose how much time you allow for draining people.
@@elizabethcreated9263 The Book ” Boundaries” by Henry Cloud is a good place to start. Although you must find a place to practice setting boundaries. A good counselor can help with this. You will also need a good support system to encourage you when there is pushback. From the people you’re setting boundaries with. This will certainly be a learning process, but well worth the effort. Being free from people pleasing is a game changer.
This is so good, brother! I've become a graceful (and gracious) eggshell walker! I used to try to be all things to everyone, i suspect because of both parents demonstrating bona fide narcissism (one was overt, the other covert) & a sibling who was/is the golden child. After i figured things out (took me way too long because, you know...denial) i started taking care of my needs first & the guilt trips they relish putting me on became futile for them. They even sounded so much like the accuser at times b/c i would no longer play the role of the mangey mutt to be kicked round. I did run situations by multiple mature believers, even secular folks too (just to make sure i wasn't at fault). Sometimes i did overreact though in some situations, attempting to protect myself. It's a process...sorry for draining any readers! 😉
Mark include more stand up comedian videos! That was hilarious and perfectly delivered your point! It was great to have a little segment of laughter in your videos!
This was so incredibly helpful. Watching the movie is great because I’m always afraid of getting sucked in to the drama and the argument. I think I laughed just as hard at “who wants pasta” as I did at Brian Reagan! ❤
Hello my brother from another mother ;) All of these points describe my mother. She is so self absorbed and entrenched in her victim mentality, a NONSTOP talker, I call it "oral diarrhea" ..Thank you for your teaching!
Ah yet again, just what I needed: I’m highly open with a high tolerance for negativity, so I tend to be the monster. Thanks a lot for your flow of insight from which God granted you.
Sometimes, loving someone as God loves them means stepping back and letting them face the natural consequences of their actions. Even God allows people to experience the impact of their choices.
#2 but not choric, at church I have to Force myself to Hush because I actually knew something but shockingly refuse to comment. The burden Depot is what I see, this in people from the South,you're going to take their side because that's all they know. Add #6.
My mother ticks all 6. Our relationship is constantly on-off, eggshell kind, like a heavy cloud. "The guilt tripper" - confusing love for guilt. That pretty much sums it up.
My marriage is a draining relationship. Total unequal love. I'm the pleaser to her. I can't do anything right. Never heard. Never understood. She left me 4 times. Never admits when shes wrong. She controls the narrative. We agree on nothing. Been separated for 3 months.
Smoking crab ,my wife is exactly the same plus the last time she stayed away seven years and married another, I have tried but no more I pray but I am going to let them go. So true I Can change No One (narcissist) personality Only The Lord can or Will do the job, I am No longer her slave.
I am praying for all people in this situation. Psalms 91 James 4 and the champions chapter Romans 8 please read these chapters daily to break that cycle. Praise God bless Israel!
Became born again 30 years ago witness ti my unsaved mother for 3 decades, but as Jesus declares in the parable of the persistent widow always pray and dont give up. A living nightmare but God is the only way. Glory to God.
Great video! I can describe ano other type of draining relationship interaction: the interrogator/or someone who comes into your space too much: person who constantly ask questions to you, ongoing, and when you ask in return they actually can't or don't want to talk about themselves. Is that something anyone recognizes?
@@CGAV638 it sounds a bit like passive aggressive behavior on their part, Whether done consciously or unconsciously. It's crossing boundaries. Set your boundaries and hold them around this kind of person. You're entitled to your private life. .
My son drains me daily. His ocd/scrupulosity is impossibility to deal with and at moments he is insane. But, he never remembers the details of his outbursts and these hurtful words sit with me for ever. I know he's not in his right mind but I'm stuck, I can't get away. If I don't support him to try and get him well who will? There is no refreshment just emotional draining..... I challenged him the other day to have a conversation without saying the word I. He couldn't, he didn't speak. Every moment of every walking second he talks about himself and he can talk ALL DAY LONG. He is totally locked in it. Every word is negative, and negative about this fake god who he hates with vengeance. The other day he blamed me for 'everything', I'm burdened with it all. I'm his dumping site. His ocd/scrupulosity has lead him to shout out all his hatred towards this false god he believes in, who will send him to hell!!!! I have to select the times I challenge his behaviour because of his triggers.
These are good advices, thank you Mark. But I need to BUT, sorry :D You said you will talk about carrying burden and I also have a question how to set boundaries when Jesus said "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Could you please comment on this? I feel like a bad Christian if I say no, cose I see these verses.
Thanks for sharing such valuable information! A bit off-topic, but I wanted to ask: My OKX wallet holds some USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?
My mom was an alcoholic from the time I was 12yo-23yo but then she quit after her liver transplant. My dad was a perfectionist and battled OCD but he never even knew what his battles were. I battle guilt in ALL of my relationships. I battle perfectionism and OCD and I am eternally grateful for your continual encouragement to overcome.
Would love for you to do a video on the topic of aging parents, who have complex health issues and are needing more and more from their adult children. Many of these tips, while excellent advice, take on a whole other meaning and a new level (or many levels) of complexity in navigating.
Accept, cut the codependency, boundaries, separate for clarity
When I complained to God about my partner, I heard only 1 thing - accept them for where they are at. Not easy, but so much wisdom in it, and now Mark even says the same
I have a hard time exiting groups and conversations, and always feel guilty if I leave before everyone else does. Going to work on my “wrap-it-up” skills - thanks for the insight, Mark!
@@joelgrumblatt2747- COOL. Stopping a conversation before it naturally or more easily ends has been impossible to me but somehow, with some new internal pieces, I am asserting myself way before I drain out or *need* to leave and without offering a reason. I just really appreciate your comment and find it encouraging because it's relatable for me! Thanks.
@@Securetwo Glad you found it helpful!
Lmao I just leave
I think my husband operates out of guilt instead of love. It’s clicked with me watching this video and has made me realise why I always feel like we’re playing by different rules in our relationship. I’d be interested in hearing how you navigate these kind of issues in a marriage as you can’t just avoid being with them unless you want a divorce which I don’t. Thanks xx
This is fantastic! I spoke to my counselor about this topic today, mainly boundary setting and people pleasing. This is not an option, Must learn to say no and choose how much time you allow for draining people.
Hi. How are you working on the ppl pleasing and boundaries?
@@elizabethcreated9263
The Book ” Boundaries” by Henry Cloud is a good place to start. Although you must find a place to practice setting boundaries. A good counselor can help with this. You will also need a good support system to encourage you when there is pushback. From the people you’re setting boundaries with. This will certainly be a learning process, but well worth the effort. Being free from people pleasing is a game changer.
This is so good, brother! I've become a graceful (and gracious) eggshell walker! I used to try to be all things to everyone, i suspect because of both parents demonstrating bona fide narcissism (one was overt, the other covert) & a sibling who was/is the golden child. After i figured things out (took me way too long because, you know...denial) i started taking care of my needs first & the guilt trips they relish putting me on became futile for them. They even sounded so much like the accuser at times b/c i would no longer play the role of the mangey mutt to be kicked round. I did run situations by multiple mature believers, even secular folks too (just to make sure i wasn't at fault). Sometimes i did overreact though in some situations, attempting to protect myself. It's a process...sorry for draining any readers! 😉
I might have been a mee monster. Help me Lord!
That comedian is one of my favorites! He is so funny!!! Thanks for adding the clip, forgot about him. Laughter is good 😊😂❤
Mark include more stand up comedian videos! That was hilarious and perfectly delivered your point! It was great to have a little segment of laughter in your videos!
This was so incredibly helpful. Watching the movie is great because I’m always afraid of getting sucked in to the drama and the argument. I think I laughed just as hard at “who wants pasta” as I did at Brian Reagan! ❤
Hello my brother from another mother ;) All of these points describe my mother. She is so self absorbed and entrenched in her victim mentality, a NONSTOP talker, I call it "oral diarrhea" ..Thank you for your teaching!
Ah yet again, just what I needed: I’m highly open with a high tolerance for negativity, so I tend to be the monster. Thanks a lot for your flow of insight from which God granted you.
Thank you Mark!!
Brian Regan did a classic sketch on the self-centered person. He nails other life experiences as well
This is soooo good!! I need this! Thank you my brother from another mother!! Gonna listen to again and again❤️
Thank you, Mark! Excellent! I look forward to taking notes on this video in my journal soon! *A Guilt Tripper...was in my family.
Yesss!! This series is great brotha 🔥
Sometimes, loving someone as God loves them means stepping back and letting them face the natural consequences of their actions. Even God allows people to experience the impact of their choices.
I wish more Christians realized this. Loving someone doesn't mean making yourself their doormat.
#2 but not choric, at church I have to Force myself to Hush because I actually knew something but shockingly refuse to comment. The burden Depot is what I see, this in people from the South,you're going to take their side because that's all they know. Add #6.
My mother ticks all 6. Our relationship is constantly on-off, eggshell kind, like a heavy cloud. "The guilt tripper" - confusing love for guilt. That pretty much sums it up.
Hahaha that’s was awesome 👏🏻
Can you please talk more about boundaries? 🌸🤍
My marriage is a draining relationship. Total unequal love. I'm the pleaser to her. I can't do anything right. Never heard. Never understood. She left me 4 times. Never admits when shes wrong. She controls the narrative. We agree on nothing. Been separated for 3 months.
My heart goes out to you. ABBA sees you and loves you. ❤
Smoking crab ,my wife is exactly the same plus the last time she stayed away seven years and married another, I have tried but no more I pray but I am going to let them go. So true I Can change No One (narcissist) personality Only The Lord can or Will do the job, I am No longer her slave.
I am praying for all people in this situation. Psalms 91 James 4 and the champions chapter Romans 8 please read these chapters daily to break that cycle. Praise God bless Israel!
Thank you, loved the comedian, couldn't stop laughing
Thank you ❤
Became born again 30 years ago witness ti my unsaved mother for 3 decades, but as Jesus declares in the parable of the persistent widow always pray and dont give up. A living nightmare but God is the only way. Glory to God.
Great video! I can describe ano other type of draining relationship interaction: the interrogator/or someone who comes into your space too much: person who constantly ask questions to you, ongoing, and when you ask in return they actually can't or don't want to talk about themselves.
Is that something anyone recognizes?
@@CGAV638 it sounds a bit like passive aggressive behavior on their part, Whether done consciously or unconsciously.
It's crossing boundaries.
Set your boundaries and hold them around this kind of person. You're entitled to your private life.
.
I need freedom from my draining relationships.
Funny stuff with the me lol. I typically try to tell me stories as a way to relate to someone. 😬
My son drains me daily. His ocd/scrupulosity is impossibility to deal with and at moments he is insane. But, he never remembers the details of his outbursts and these hurtful words sit with me for ever. I know he's not in his right mind but I'm stuck, I can't get away. If I don't support him to try and get him well who will? There is no refreshment just emotional draining.....
I challenged him the other day to have a conversation without saying the word I. He couldn't, he didn't speak. Every moment of every walking second he talks about himself and he can talk ALL DAY LONG. He is totally locked in it. Every word is negative, and negative about this fake god who he hates with vengeance. The other day he blamed me for 'everything', I'm burdened with it all. I'm his dumping site.
His ocd/scrupulosity has lead him to shout out all his hatred towards this false god he believes in, who will send him to hell!!!!
I have to select the times I challenge his behaviour because of his triggers.
I have two 80ish year old friends who are all about themselves. They don't know each other. Is this a normal aging thing?
Great question!!
I pretty much do all of those things 😮💨
Hi ! I haven’t find any link to one-to-one session. Is it available? If yes can you please support
Amen
These are good advices, thank you Mark. But I need to BUT, sorry :D You said you will talk about carrying burden and I also have a question how to set boundaries when Jesus said "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Could you please comment on this? I feel like a bad Christian if I say no, cose I see these verses.
Yes!! Mark I too wish you would go over this, would be very helpful. I have such a hard time setting boundaries because of these verses.
Myself and my exhusband🎉
Thanks for sharing such valuable information! A bit off-topic, but I wanted to ask: My OKX wallet holds some USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?
I have a husband that’s a narcissist for 40 years