Lee Mokobe: A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2015
- "I was the mystery of an anatomy, a question asked but not answered," says poet Lee Mokobe, a TED Fellow, in this gripping and poetic exploration of identity and transition. It's a thoughtful reflection on bodies, and the meanings poured into them.
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To the people in the comments are basically saying "I'm so done with hearing about the struggles transgender people face". Just imagine living it !!!
elky360 today I did something truly terrifying. I wore nail polish to university. Yeah, that's all. But to me it was a huge step, a move to gain confidence in who I am, to try and shelf my fear of being hurt, rejected and preyed upon by those I'm close to.
For everyone like me it's different, we all have different lives, some of us are lucky enough to have parents who support us. Some aren't. But for each and every single one, the fear of what a faceless mob could do to you just because you're different... because you weren't born the same... it's a strong and ever present fear that transcends race, religion and gender.
Acrimonious Mirth Thank you for sharing your story. Keep being brave don't let other make you feel ashamed of expressing who you are and take it one step at a time.
Times are slowly changing.x
Or just ask them, "If you're so done with it, why even bother watching the video". You see some people just love to seek attention at the cost of looking stupid.
I am a non binary ftm lesbian. I hope your kids learn acceptance and kindness from someone cause it will not be from you
Cole Adrian You can't be a lesbian trans man!!!
Naturally I didn't come out of the closet, the kids at my school opened it without my permission. That's deep
I don't understand. How would they know where you live if you didn't give them your address?
@@bluestar1068 BRUH why you in every comment trolling??
@@bluestar1068 omg damn bruh , you got big brains !
The way he tells it, it made me fucking break down into tears because he was so accurate, every last word hit home
Honest to god one of the most beautiful, truthful things I've ever heard.
I may not be in that situation, but tears were falling from my eyes too
She
she*
@@bluestar1068 its he, he's trans, please don't be like this in the comments of a trans poetry video
shinyflowersadness Wow I didn’t realize I could change my gender with the snap of a finger. Let me try to change my age to 21 so I can go gamble in vegas
Wow. The house metaphor. So so so beautiful.
Not a metaphor that is a simile
Beautiful poem... I want to give him the biggest hug.
"It had nothing to do with hating my body, I just loved it enough to let it go."
I am male who was ordered off the rack. I'm the same inside as outside and will be until I die. I have never, and will never, spend a moment confused about who or what I am.
But, there are others who are different. Who are different things at different times and different things with different people or just different all the time with everyone.
They have to bounce between the mold the world forms us in and the free form expression of what they are, which is just different. Not better, not worse.
Their lives are harder because we favor similarity over authenticity.
I can't see why I, or you, needs to make different harder on them than it already is.
Wow, well said! We need allies like you. You give me hope :)
Waltham1892 me too. Some days I'm like "I'm not a trans woman today, just a woman. Leave me alone, world."
Alex Parker At a certain point in your life it just becomes "leave me alone, world" all the freaking time...
I think that is a great non-gender identity specific human truth.
Waltham1892 haha, I get that. Well this was your social interaction for the day, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did :D
Alex Parker Yes, it was. Now I get to go back to my life of bitter social isolation.
Which is just the way I like it...
The moment some people see "transgender" in a videos title, they down vote the video. They don't even bother to watch the video, they don't want to have to hear anything contrary to their own ignorant opinions. That is the absolutely only reason this video has as many down votes as it does. The idea of someone being transgender terrifies a lot of people because they are cowards. They don't understand how one can feel such a way, and even worse they don't care to make an effort to try and learn anything about transgendered people and how they feel. Rather, people would rather mock these people, down vote a video and present themselves as nothing more than ignorant bigots.
ParaditeRs actually I think its because they feel like TED isn't the platform for this kind of content, not that its wrong, or that they disagree with it. It appears you are jumping to conclusions and making absolute statements that are hurtful. Its that kind of hurtful offensive that prevents understanding and why random groups of people begin arguing. Don't initiate that. I personally found it to be a fine expression of oneself, but I don't think it belongs on the main TED channel. Its like someone going to a coffee shop and asking for 4 kilos of mince meat. Sure, they have food, but they aren't a butcher shop, that is down the street. Nothing wrong with the idea, it just makes everyone confused why a person walked into a coffee shop looking for large amounts of raw meat.
PinkBunnyCorporation You think too highly of people. No one cares about the platform in which this is being shown. Doing so would require more logical reasoning than most bigots have the capacity for.
Cooper, would you care to explain further why TED isn't the proper platform for poems like this? Because I actually thought it's the best one!
And how do you know all of that ?
@Christian Toth Have you looked at the actual science? You’ll find trans people are supported by it.
This is actually my favorite TED talk, it gives me chills every time I listen to it, it has that strength, this beautiful writing and it feels so real... Absolutely awesome
Thank you Lee that was beautiful.
"It is not about hating my body, I just love it enough to let it go"
#Feels
Don't get all the complaints about how TED is repeating itself in the transgender issue. This is the first TED on transdenders I've ever seen. Right now in my RUclips suggestions list I have 14 TED videos, 4 or 5 are specifically about social, political, and civil rights issues. The others are about psychology, biology, design, urban planning, robotics, space exploration... It's not that TED is talking less about old topics. They just seem to be talking about new topics. When has broadening their focus become a bad thing?
This is positively one of the most beautiful, eye opening, spectacular poems I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.
I see absolutely no reason for why this video should be down rated as heavily as it has this quickly. There was literally nothing in here that whinged and whined about the privilege of others but simply being under the struggle of gender expectations.
I just wished that TED would actually bring in talkers sometime that deal with the problems that boys face without angling it into towards that ever creeping theme of toxic masculinity.
louie wallenberg I think people are getting so sick of SJWs trying to bludgeon us with guilt that it's becoming a natural response to simply recoil from any video that deals with these types of topics. They are poisoning the well for everybody.
0ptikz I think that if a listener has feelings of guilt after listening to this, it's because he has poisoned his own well.
dapunisher1000 You might want to work on your comprehension skills there. I suggest reading that again.
louie wallenberg I wonder if Robert Bly would do a TED talk...
dapunisher1000 I think you missed Wallenberg's point...
This is powerful - this is beautiful. It deeply moved me. Bravo!
Not ashamed to admit he made me cry - I have never been in the situation he was but I didn't always live my life true to myself. It took a lot of courage to share what he did and even more courage to live true to himself and for what it is worth I think it makes the world a bit brighter that someone is able to find happiness in the face of so much opposition.
Hearing this as a trans man, he hit everything on the mark. Every word, every delivery hit perfectly. The fear, the ridicule, the hatred of others. And not to mention being even unloved by parents. I'm a ghost and I am proud.
Hi
"oncoming traffic is embracing more transgender kids than parents"
That was so deep holy heck, my heart is broken tbh
I know it's been a few years, but would you mind explaining that line to me, if you have a moment? Is he talking about actual oncoming traffic, in the sense of suicide (jumping in front of a train), or is it about future generations embracing (accepting) transgender children more than they do their parents? I interpreted it as the latter at first but I realize that might not be it, given the rest of the poem...Thank you.
Nevermind, I just got it....wow. That is raw.
@@hanaschonegger793 hey! I always saw it as it meaning literal traffic + suicide, which like you said, fits in with the tone and themes of the rest of the poem - but I never thought of it in the sense of there being hope in future generations, and I really love that interpretation! In a way, I think that the line could by definition be both simultaneously, as the growth in transgender awareness and the difficulties of the communities come to light and thus future generations would have a greater acceptance are they are increasingly aware of the severity of the impact that a lack of acceptance can have.
Definitely a very raw and impactful line for sure! I forgot this poem existed until you just commented, thank you for bringing it back to me!
@@fliss5152 It's really kind of you to take the time to type out such a comprehensive reply. Thank you!
very strong and brave! perfect speech control and timing! very talented boy... i hope we will see him in a film or in a theater
“You do not evacuate. You make it comfortable enough to house all your insides. You make it pretty enough to invite guests over. You make the floorboards strong enough to stand on.”
When I was a child, I was sat down in front of a TV to watch the “A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story”. I had never seen a human I related to more before watching this and it ended in her death. The first trans person I was exposed to was brutally murdered for being herself.
I have been a closet trans person for most of my life. Going in and out of accepting that it’s who I am and being both jealous and proud of my peers who dare to stand out. Instead I retreat and I hide. I think, at least I get compliments when I present as masc. is it better, though? Or just more comfortable? Every compliment on my masculine features is like a tiniest needle stabbing an insecurity that quietly shouts from within “no one will ever really see you.” I try to convince myself that we’re all one in the eyes of the universe. That obsessing over how the world sees me will only distract me and I should be stronger. But it’s actually doing the opposite. By not transitioning, im constantly distracted. Every time someone compliments me - something well intended - it breaks me. When people try to respectful and call me sir, I cringe. Brother, son, uncle, boyfriend - all of it makes me want to run as far away as I can.
I used to fear that if I transitioned, people would judge me. I most recently feared that if I never transitioned, no one would ever really know me. Now, my biggest fear is that by not transitioning - I will never know me.
You’ve got this! It’s so hard and scary to come out. But don’t waste your life wondering “what if?” If you never come out, at the end of your life, you will look back and see that you lived for others and not yourself. There is so, so much I could say, because I’m a trans guy (and poet) myself. Living authentically is worth all the rejection and oppression. I speak from personal experience. Good luck ❤❤❤
@@mellifluouswriting so thoughtful! Thank you 🥹
The poem and the poet mesmerised me. This man is inspiring!!!
Meagan Buttigieg *woman
@@barrackobamar It's HE. Get it right.
Wrinkly Grape no she still doesn’t have Y chromosomes
@@barrackobamar It's a he. HE.
Wrinkly Grape why? She has two X chromosomes. Why would she be a dude?
250 transphobes and counting. Question. If your really are sick of hearing about it, and not just transphobic, why do you spend the time to watch these videos and comment on them??
Lee's poem gave me an insight into the world of a transgender person. As a poet myself, l concur with the viscerality of any cause and reality. His delivery was breathtaking. The words chosen spelt his heart with love and peace that can only be accepted. I am sad that many take this as a time to ridicule when they refuse to listen the difference that Lee speaks of poetically and palpably. Lee, speak and live your truth.
At first I was sad and frustrated to once again see so many downvotes on a video about gender, but then I realized that we are at least in a place where more than twice as many people choose humanity over hate (380 vs 171 as of this comment) even when they are anonymous, and if that is true then we just have to keep going.
2021= 570k likes to 517 dislikes 💛 you were right, it's working 💛
Courageous, honest, thoughtful. What's not to like ?
contagious, horrific, thoughtless*
@@bluestar1068 It's HE. Get it right. Him being who he is doesn't affect you.
His voice and way of words are amazing
Beautiful! Magical! Wonderful ! & Genius!
PerroDimeShift Yes!
Came here from the feature on Ted Radio Hour. Absolutely beautiful poem from an incredible soul 🤩
(I didn't see anybody else type it out in the comments so; )
The first time I uttered a prayer was in a glass-stained cathedral
I was kneeling long after the congregation was on its feet.
dip both hands into holy water
trace the trinity across my chest
my tiny body drooping like a question mark all over the wooden pew
I asked Jesus to fix me
And when he did not answer
I befriended silence in the hopes that my sin would burn and salve my mouth
Would dissolve like sugar on tongue
But shame lingered as an aftertaste and, in an attempt to reintroduce me to sanctity, my mother told me of the miracle I was
Said I could grow up to be anything I want
I decided to
be a boy
It was cute
I had snapback, toothless grin, used skinned knees as street cred
Played hide and seek with what was left of my goal
I was it
The winner to a game the others could not play
I was the mystery of an anatomy
A question asked but not answered
Tight-roping between awkward boy and apologetic girl
And when I turned twelve
The boy phase wasn't cute deemed anymore
It was met with nostalgic aunts who missed seeing my knees in the shadow of skirts
Who reminded me that my kind of attitude would never bring a husband home
That I exist for heterosexual marriage and child-bearing
And I swallowed their insults along with their slurs
Naturally, I did not come out of the closet.
The kids at my school opened it without my permission
Called me by a name I did not recognize
Said "lesbian"
But I was more boy than girl
More Ken than Barbie
It had nothing to do with hating my body
I just loved it enough to let it go
I treat it like a house
and when your house is falling apart, you do not evacuate
you make it comfortable enough to house all your insides
you make it pretty enough to invite guests over
you make the floor boards strong enough to stand on
my mother fears I have named myself after fading things.
As she counts the echoes left behind by Mya Hall, Leelah Alcorn, Blake Brockington.
She fears that I'll die without a whisper.
That I'll turn into 'what a shame' conversations as the bus stop
She claims I have turned myself into a mausoleum
That I am walking casket
News headlines have turned my identity into a spectacle
Bruce Jenner on everyone's lips while the brutality of living in this body becomes an asterisk at the bottom of equality pages
No one ever thinks of us as human
Because we are more ghost than flesh
Because people fear that my gender expression is a trick
That it exists to be perverse
That it ensnares them without their consent
that my body is a feast for their eyes and hands
and once they have fed off my queer
they'll regurgitate all the parts that they did not like.
They'll put me back into the closet
Hang me with all the other skeletons
I will be the best attraction.
Can you see how easy it is to talk people into coffins?
To misspell their names on gravestones
and people still wonder why there are boys rotting
they go away in high school hallways
they are afraid of becoming another hashtag in a second
afraid of classroom discussions becoming like judgement days
and now
oncoming traffic is embracing more transgender children than parents.
I wonder how long it will be before the trans suicide notes start to feel rudundant.
before we realize that our bodies become lessons about sin long before we learn to love them.
Like God didn't save all this breath and mercy
like my blood is not the wine that washed over Jesus' feet
My prayers are now getting stuck in my throat.
Maybe I am finally fixed.
Maybe I just don't care.
Maybe God finally listened to my prayers.
{thank you}
This is such a beautiful, stunning poem. I'm so glad to have found it!
Im a transman myself and this nearly brought me to tears
So your a woman playing dress up
@@ragekingleoTv *you're
Same.
That was truly inspirational.
I studied his poem to write exam in my school
It hurts to read these comments.
i will never forget this beautiful poem. thank you.
So deeply inspired by you, Lee!
Thank you so much ur poem was powerful
wow. this was just beautiful.
I was first introduced to this poem in sociology during a lecture . Although i do not personally identify with he poet, this poem speaks to me. The lecture was done and it was time to go but all i could do was sit there in awe. He possess an immense amount of courage to get up there and speak those words. I can't quite put a finger on the emotional attachment i have with this video but I find myself here time after time.
This still means so much to me.
The house analogy was so relatable.
Beautiful.
Powerful delivery!
How, after all Lee has seemingly gone trough, can he still be a believer? It's beyond comprehension.
Amazingly talented thank you for your knowledge you are an inspiration to all
This is absolutely amazing
We watched this video in Gender Studies today and it was absolutely wonderful, we were all moved by it. Plus, one of the students in the class knows Lee personally so it was great to learn more about him and his story after moving to America and finally starting to transition!
How’s that degree working out for you?
this gave me so many chills
The last part really got me
This poem is a mood. I wish i could change my name on this acc but i cant bc im gonna use it to apply for jobs
I LOVE THIS 👏🏾.
Great video
you're amazing and a truly beautiful person
Folks~ Yes, there are 7 pages of Ted Talks on RUclips when you search TED transgender. Does that make this particular 'talk' any less relevant?
Though many in our society stand behind the 'God does not make a mistake' ideology, some are able to see the truth in 'Loving the least of these' aspects.
Accepting someone as they are and refraining from bullying them for what may be perceived as 'shameful' is the stance I believe is most consistent with my faith.
Loving people and being kind goes a long way toward making this world a better place.
It is not our place to thrust judgement upon others. We are called to 'Love thy neighbor'... and since I am not without sin, I will not cast the first (or subsequent) stones.
Proceed with kindness.
Because of your recitation am going to try this poem ......just wanna say ..this is the real pain of them
gives me all the feels everytime
Beautiful poem
This hit really hard honestly
Beautiful
Right On Well spread!
I'm so happy for the people that have the courage to do this. They don't care wether or not the will be judged by people who have to hide behind a profile picture. Being able to show this side of yourself is not a sign of defeat. It's a sign that shows you don't care wether or not OTHER people will care. These types of videos inspire people to be themselves. If you don't like it, it just goes to show how quick you are to judge a persons true self.
Amazing.
SPOILER ALERT:: if you are watching this for the word "poem" just know that this piece is superb
Powerful and inspirational ❤❤❤❤❤
Aaaaaaand I'm crying
that was beautiful
Love this poem
watched this 8 times now, will be back
He is right on. It's exactly like this
wow this poem is touching
Outstanding!!!!
I just love my body enough to let it go.
I subscribed to this channel in, like, a week, and i thought TED's subscribers were smart and open minded people. I was wrong.
Nereu Diniz exactly what is close minded about this?
I believe they were talking about the comments, hence the "subscribers" bit.
@Carmen Robinson Well, thanks for confirming my 4 year old comment.
@Carmen Robinson Ok...
Beautiful 🥺❤️
great poem
Nice poem 💥
Wow great poem. Bear
Calicut university kar ivde neelam mukkuka
Wow why so many dislikes? This was awesome.
I am studying your poem for graduation
I'm confused. Why is this filmed at TEDwomen if he's a trans man ?
Because it seems there's been some shittiness involved further up the chain at tedx.
Lee did a fantastic job. Unfortunately I do not have the words to describe how moving his presentation was.
No words...
Moral of scrolling down the comments section:
People suck.
It's not about the beauty. And there's no value how they look alike .Its all about their true lived path.This shows how their lives feels.
True life Facts.Big salute to Lee Mokobe .
You would think that the people who watch a Ted talk would have very thought out comments and not hate on this person but I guess not
Lee Mokobe. What a gripping poem by a wonderful poet. For we are more ghost than flesh. I can't stop crying typing this reply. Thank you!!
I don’t like how this is part
Of tedwomen
beautifull
Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. Being transgender has nothing to do with your sexual orientation or preference. As a licensed clinician and Ally I see that most who have left comments lack knowledge of the differences between gender identity, sexual orientation, gender expression, etc. If you don't understand, don't care or are tired of hearing about the LGBT+ community, I am not sure of what to say. There is more to life than heterosexism. This community, as all that exist in the US and in other countries are human beings and should be treated as human beings. If you have nothing positive to say, do not wish to learn more about the topic or are tired of seeing these videos on TEDTalk...... Don't click play. Move on to a video that is more your speed or topic of interest. This population has enough hatred, ridicule, discrimination to last a life time without you adding fuel to the fire.
+Brownsugaforreal Finally someone who can comprehend the difference
That was some of the best poetry I've ever heard
Liget crying now!! I love this because im a transman too and this is exactly how it feels
it's so heartwarming how far he's come.
Im rewatching this in 2024. I'm a dysphoric trans man living in Tulsa. The hate for trans people is so increasingly bad here and I'm in tears over the relevance of this 😢
When you speak surreal if your own being than you fucking no cares if boundary after getting many punch you just wait give hard knock out smile make it literally he just slayed it I love it
In India we have this poem to study that's why I am here
Inspiration
Great
I came here seeking understanding. I am still very confused and have many questions.
carolinacasper Hi! I'm transgender and would be happy to answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability!
Yes yes yes