As a woman, I would agree that I am always aware of the fact that the regular man is around 6 inches taller, 50 pounds heavier and has 3 times the upper body strenght of the average woman.. but there is a difference between keeping that in a corner of my mind and actually walking around afraid of men or the outside world in general. Fear is an emotion. What I carry around with me is a rational knowledge of my physical disadvantage.. which doesn't determine the outcome of my potential meeting with an ill-intentioned man in a dark alley, and which doesn't keep me from going about my life. Again, there's a difference between ''knowing'' that we are vulnerable if very specific situations were ever to happen to us, and ''feeling'' vulnerable at all times..
A lot of women who are afraid of men (mostly in the physical aspect), are because they were raised to feel like that. It's not a logic thing, is actually more of a mental obstacle. It doesn't mean all women are like that, but every single feature that's common in any group will always has its exceptions.
.. Or unfortunately they are that 1 in every 3 (I believe the statistic is) women who have experienced some form of sexual or otherwise physical abuse growing up. That's another common way women ''learn'' not to trust men, or the ''outside world'' in general. Experience can be a major factor , in that regard.. but then again most of those cases happen with men these women know, not random strangers on the streets, so I don't know how genuinely ''afraid'' of those men on the streets women who were groped by their uncles as little girls would be, or in other words how directly the fear would be transposed from one situation to the other.. I have never had any bad experiences with men in my life, so I can look at it from a strictly ''logical'' point of view where I vaguely look out for myself without coming from a place of actual fear or paranoia.. but unfortunately that's not everybody's case either..
Old party and I'm late (as usual) again, but for the two cents'... I think this smack to why Peter has trouble writing women well. For one, he's not entirely honest about the matter of "being afraid all the time"... Men are just as afraid all the time as women. It's a primal trait that has been evolved through survivable genes and programmed into all of us (save possibly a scarce few who are "short changed" on it)... Men tend to "respond" to this internal "fear" mechanism with physical show. They brood, and shout and swear and "act tough" and "show" that they are not someone to scoff at or trifle with. Women (on the other hand) are keenly aware that they don't pose the imminent physical dominance men can. (in generic terms) They show flexibility and soften their posture. They avoid direct confrontation rather than provoke it. I can't say it's that way for certain even in the huge great majority of the population. But honestly looking objectively at the whole of experience, observation, and what research is available, the simpler basic principle seems to be that the motivation is the same for both. Just the outward projection is nearly opposite... Example: A man is walking on a darkish street. He's faced by a larger brutish looking figure with a knife. His likely response is to straighten his posture, puff out his chest, and glare at the stranger. He might even shove a hand in his jacket or a pocket looking for whatever he could "weaponize" in case this dubious threat should choose to close distance. He probably won't turn away. Even on the invite, a man is likely to outright refuse. He's motivated to do this because in his experience, fear tends to make things seem worse than they really are. He also "knows" (whether true or not) that turning his back to the threat is an open invitation to be taken from behind. It's no less a fearful reaction, but he will just as likely close the distance himself, put on a show of his own, and even shout obscenities at the stranger just to feel more confident in himself. In the same scene, a woman is more likely to weigh her odds. She'll instinctively shrink herself. Trying to avoid the "threatening look" she will likely lower her eyes, rather than confront the stranger with a brazen stare. She might take the time to study his activity and decide for herself whether or not she's the focus of attention or if she has a chance to get past without notice or actual confrontation. She's even likely to raise a hand openly and smile as if greeting the stranger timidly if he takes the initiative to close distance. If possible, without stirring absolute panic, she's likely to turn around and pick a different route or find someplace else to go. Even invited by the stranger with the knife, she's more likely to find any reason not to close distance, and has no personal interest in shouting obscenities or trying to fight... It's not even a matter of she won't fight because she knows she'd lose, but because there are better and more productive uses of her energy. It's still the same fear motivation, but the exact opposite (seems like) end result in application. Of course, the problem is an abstract. It's the intangible deciphering of motivation-to-reaction for the character. It can't even always be based on a gender-norm'. For one thing, there are outliers. There are those certain few who simply and absolutely defy the "norm's". :o)
@HijaDelMar6 i think the guy in the video just said that to make a generalization to contrast men & women. like he was painting in very broad strokes just to illustrate briefly his point.
I think age, demographic and location/background makes a difference here. Certain men of a certain age in certain places and/or situations walk around constantly in physical fear. The threat of violence was always prevalent to me as a boy and young man, up until my mid 20's. Certain women have the same and total opposite mentalities. I've known plenty of younger and older women who know that they are practically immune to male violence, and exploited it a much as possible in various ways. Of course everyone is different and mentalities vary considerably, which is entirely my point.
One major thing that helps with being able to grasp both female and male characters, is to grasp and be close to both mom and dad, whilst growing up. Unfortunately, it's easier said than done. Typically, your average person will gravitate to being intimately closer to one parent or the other. I'd include sibling relationship in their, brothers, sisters... but for most people the closeness of sibling relationships tend to be fleeting... weakening by the time we hit puberty. I'm just speaking from observation and experience. Obviously, there are so many exceptions.
It's not fear tho.... I'm not walking around scared of men. It's not like that. It's more of just an acute awareness of who I'm talking to. This guy paints it like we're all terrified all the time and it's simply not true. He's also not taking into account that women are human beings. Human beings come from places all over the world, they come in all different races, cultures, beliefs, backgrounds. They aren't all the same. I, personally, am not scared. I'm careful, sure, but isn't that just a normal thing when you're in a strange place, or when you've just met a new person? It's at the back of my mind, it's not something I'm thinking of. Is this what men think women are, just scared all the time no matter the race, country, etc?
It’s not a fear, just an awareness of the outside world. And in potentially threatening situations, it’s a sort of self consciousness. Like, you know that someone might be physically stronger than you or have the upper hand in some way, and that’s there, but you haven’t got fright unless something’s actually going on. Not just being out.
Opening comments, this isn't criticism to nitpick but to help male writers.. I don't walk around scared all the time. But, I have learned survival skills to avoid certain situations by reflex, not a bubbling overt fear. A guy may see a dinghy door on a blank wall and go, "Yeah, seedy bar!" and for myriad seeking reasons go in. Most women would just keep walking. The few who would enter go in seeking different things than the mostly male clientele inside. (they aren't looking to get raped I can tell you that). Any time you guys are in a sausage party and see women walk in, stay near the door then vanish, their survival skills were called upon. Like the famous case of the atheist writer who commented on her blog about a creep who followed her into an elevator to ask her out, and then the hammer of antiwomen slammed her hard for being the villain... but she spoke a very basic truth women endure. So she wasn't "scared" in the public spaces of the sausage fest that are atheist conventions but she was reminded of her female fear and masculine freedom to not have to consider such issues when followed into an elevator.
By the way, the women who walk in and vanish are not likely thinking they're going to be attacked in most common venues. The fear in those most common situations is the inability to just blend in and be part of the crowd.
I disagree COMPLETELY when he says that women what around scared all the time. The only nugget he has right is that women are sometimes scared of men and men aren't scared of women. I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't had good reason to be scared of a man. A few weeks ago I was out walking by myself on a deserted bike trail. This guy came up to me and was talking and talking. Asking very personal and specific questions. Maybe he was trying to flirt but I got very scared and I haven't been back since. I won't go back without my dog or someone else. If a man was in the same situation he wouldn't have been scared. But women aren't scared of the world, we're scared of violence that mostly comes from men. And yet male writers don't talk about how violent ALL men are, let he's going to talk about how scared ALL women are?
He really didn't say that. He said generally not ALL. So I do agree that generally women are as vulnerable as men are violent but it's not 100 percent inclusive.
Peter is like wine, his answer's get better with time. On a personal note it is easier for me to write female characters IF the core wound or character flaw is one that I can connect with on a personal level. As is the case on my most recent screenplay, about a very young women who's been her stepfathers' sex object since her very sick mother can't any longer. BTW, she is afraid of her stepfather, however she hides it very well from her beloved mother. So, in my eyes she's a hero, not a coward. Love you Peter! Karen, where in the world do you come up with these questions?? Wow!!
Eso suena bastante interesante, en especial porque no es la clase de core wound con el cual yo podría conectar facilmente. ¿A qué te refieres especificamente con lo de ser el objeto sexual de su padrastro? ¿Tu protagonista realiza algun tipo de prostitución? De nuevo, es difícil escribir un personaje así, al menos para mí ¿Estás trabajando en alguna película?
True statement. My coach encouraged me to change my protagonist from male to female. It's changed everything but it's good. Great questions FC. Thanks ,all.
I disagree with what you said about women walking around afraid all the time. Everyone has fears regardless of gender, but the way you put it, you are almost calling all women cowards or something. Very close-minded of you fellow.
I remember reading something once, about how when a man baked a cake, it was just a man baking a cake. When a woman done it, she wasn't just baking a cake - she had to worry about how it looked, how SHE looked, how it was going to taste, who was going to eat it - or WOULD anyone eat it, etc etc. The woman I am writing about, wouldn't give a rat's butt, about baking a cake - for anybody. But once in a blue moon, she would show one of her wounds... Being a woman, seems like a full time acting job. Being frightened, was one of them; like knowing she was smarter, but intimidated...that's a hell of mental place to be.
I've only listened to 35 seconds of it so far and am already on high alert because of how much bullshit he's spewing about us women always being scared. If you want something that actually shows you how to write women, I recommend this video: (ruclips.net/video/hML-FGHGEN4/видео.html) It goes into depth and provides incredible examples of writing different tropes, emotions, levels of femininity, etc despite pertaining to a single fictional world. Good luck writing everyone! (I'm on my cousin's account, hence the name 'Richard')
As a woman, I would agree that I am always aware of the fact that the regular man is around 6 inches taller, 50 pounds heavier and has 3 times the upper body strenght of the average woman.. but there is a difference between keeping that in a corner of my mind and actually walking around afraid of men or the outside world in general. Fear is an emotion. What I carry around with me is a rational knowledge of my physical disadvantage.. which doesn't determine the outcome of my potential meeting with an ill-intentioned man in a dark alley, and which doesn't keep me from going about my life. Again, there's a difference between ''knowing'' that we are vulnerable if very specific situations were ever to happen to us, and ''feeling'' vulnerable at all times..
True
A lot of women who are afraid of men (mostly in the physical aspect), are because they were raised to feel like that. It's not a logic thing, is actually more of a mental obstacle.
It doesn't mean all women are like that, but every single feature that's common in any group will always has its exceptions.
.. Or unfortunately they are that 1 in every 3 (I believe the statistic is) women who have experienced some form of sexual or otherwise physical abuse growing up. That's another common way women ''learn'' not to trust men, or the ''outside world'' in general. Experience can be a major factor , in that regard.. but then again most of those cases happen with men these women know, not random strangers on the streets, so I don't know how genuinely ''afraid'' of those men on the streets women who were groped by their uncles as little girls would be, or in other words how directly the fear would be transposed from one situation to the other..
I have never had any bad experiences with men in my life, so I can look at it from a strictly ''logical'' point of view where I vaguely look out for myself without coming from a place of actual fear or paranoia.. but unfortunately that's not everybody's case either..
Old party and I'm late (as usual) again, but for the two cents'...
I think this smack to why Peter has trouble writing women well. For one, he's not entirely honest about the matter of "being afraid all the time"... Men are just as afraid all the time as women. It's a primal trait that has been evolved through survivable genes and programmed into all of us (save possibly a scarce few who are "short changed" on it)...
Men tend to "respond" to this internal "fear" mechanism with physical show. They brood, and shout and swear and "act tough" and "show" that they are not someone to scoff at or trifle with.
Women (on the other hand) are keenly aware that they don't pose the imminent physical dominance men can. (in generic terms) They show flexibility and soften their posture. They avoid direct confrontation rather than provoke it.
I can't say it's that way for certain even in the huge great majority of the population. But honestly looking objectively at the whole of experience, observation, and what research is available, the simpler basic principle seems to be that the motivation is the same for both. Just the outward projection is nearly opposite...
Example:
A man is walking on a darkish street. He's faced by a larger brutish looking figure with a knife. His likely response is to straighten his posture, puff out his chest, and glare at the stranger. He might even shove a hand in his jacket or a pocket looking for whatever he could "weaponize" in case this dubious threat should choose to close distance. He probably won't turn away. Even on the invite, a man is likely to outright refuse. He's motivated to do this because in his experience, fear tends to make things seem worse than they really are. He also "knows" (whether true or not) that turning his back to the threat is an open invitation to be taken from behind. It's no less a fearful reaction, but he will just as likely close the distance himself, put on a show of his own, and even shout obscenities at the stranger just to feel more confident in himself.
In the same scene, a woman is more likely to weigh her odds. She'll instinctively shrink herself. Trying to avoid the "threatening look" she will likely lower her eyes, rather than confront the stranger with a brazen stare. She might take the time to study his activity and decide for herself whether or not she's the focus of attention or if she has a chance to get past without notice or actual confrontation. She's even likely to raise a hand openly and smile as if greeting the stranger timidly if he takes the initiative to close distance. If possible, without stirring absolute panic, she's likely to turn around and pick a different route or find someplace else to go. Even invited by the stranger with the knife, she's more likely to find any reason not to close distance, and has no personal interest in shouting obscenities or trying to fight... It's not even a matter of she won't fight because she knows she'd lose, but because there are better and more productive uses of her energy. It's still the same fear motivation, but the exact opposite (seems like) end result in application.
Of course, the problem is an abstract. It's the intangible deciphering of motivation-to-reaction for the character. It can't even always be based on a gender-norm'. For one thing, there are outliers. There are those certain few who simply and absolutely defy the "norm's". :o)
@HijaDelMar6
i think the guy in the video just said that to make a generalization to contrast men & women. like he was painting in very broad strokes just to illustrate briefly his point.
I think age, demographic and location/background makes a difference here. Certain men of a certain age in certain places and/or situations walk around constantly in physical fear. The threat of violence was always prevalent to me as a boy and young man, up until my mid 20's. Certain women have the same and total opposite mentalities. I've known plenty of younger and older women who know that they are practically immune to male violence, and exploited it a much as possible in various ways. Of course everyone is different and mentalities vary considerably, which is entirely my point.
"Give yourself five ways a character is compensating for their wound." Precise advice!
Boom.
What does this really mean? i'm not a native english speaker.
Maybe that a character should have 5 reasons for what they are doing?
Thank goodness I have brothers I can ask to give my male characters justice.
One major thing that helps with being able to grasp both female and male characters, is to grasp and be close to both mom and dad, whilst growing up. Unfortunately, it's easier said than done. Typically, your average person will gravitate to being intimately closer to one parent or the other. I'd include sibling relationship in their, brothers, sisters... but for most people the closeness of sibling relationships tend to be fleeting... weakening by the time we hit puberty. I'm just speaking from observation and experience. Obviously, there are so many exceptions.
It's not fear tho.... I'm not walking around scared of men. It's not like that. It's more of just an acute awareness of who I'm talking to. This guy paints it like we're all terrified all the time and it's simply not true. He's also not taking into account that women are human beings. Human beings come from places all over the world, they come in all different races, cultures, beliefs, backgrounds. They aren't all the same. I, personally, am not scared. I'm careful, sure, but isn't that just a normal thing when you're in a strange place, or when you've just met a new person? It's at the back of my mind, it's not something I'm thinking of. Is this what men think women are, just scared all the time no matter the race, country, etc?
Chill the fuck out the guys probably a feminist.
Did you even watch the video
It’s not a fear, just an awareness of the outside world. And in potentially threatening situations, it’s a sort of self consciousness. Like, you know that someone might be physically stronger than you or have the upper hand in some way, and that’s there, but you haven’t got fright unless something’s actually going on. Not just being out.
Opening comments, this isn't criticism to nitpick but to help male writers.. I don't walk around scared all the time. But, I have learned survival skills to avoid certain situations by reflex, not a bubbling overt fear. A guy may see a dinghy door on a blank wall and go, "Yeah, seedy bar!" and for myriad seeking reasons go in. Most women would just keep walking. The few who would enter go in seeking different things than the mostly male clientele inside. (they aren't looking to get raped I can tell you that). Any time you guys are in a sausage party and see women walk in, stay near the door then vanish, their survival skills were called upon. Like the famous case of the atheist writer who commented on her blog about a creep who followed her into an elevator to ask her out, and then the hammer of antiwomen slammed her hard for being the villain... but she spoke a very basic truth women endure. So she wasn't "scared" in the public spaces of the sausage fest that are atheist conventions but she was reminded of her female fear and masculine freedom to not have to consider such issues when followed into an elevator.
By the way, the women who walk in and vanish are not likely thinking they're going to be attacked in most common venues. The fear in those most common situations is the inability to just blend in and be part of the crowd.
this was great. *compensating for the wound* is perfect.
I love how Peter talks about television as if it's really high art.
what is chernobyl and breaking bad to you?
I disagree COMPLETELY when he says that women what around scared all the time. The only nugget he has right is that women are sometimes scared of men and men aren't scared of women. I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't had good reason to be scared of a man. A few weeks ago I was out walking by myself on a deserted bike trail. This guy came up to me and was talking and talking. Asking very personal and specific questions. Maybe he was trying to flirt but I got very scared and I haven't been back since. I won't go back without my dog or someone else. If a man was in the same situation he wouldn't have been scared. But women aren't scared of the world, we're scared of violence that mostly comes from men. And yet male writers don't talk about how violent ALL men are, let he's going to talk about how scared ALL women are?
Men are as violent as women are scared.
THIS
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
Margaret Atwood
He really didn't say that. He said generally not ALL. So I do agree that generally women are as vulnerable as men are violent but it's not 100 percent inclusive.
Peter is like wine, his answer's get better with time. On a personal note it is easier for me to write female characters IF the core wound or character flaw is one that I can connect with on a personal level. As is the case on my most recent screenplay, about a very young women who's been her stepfathers' sex object since her very sick mother can't any longer. BTW, she is afraid of her stepfather, however she hides it very well from her beloved mother. So, in my eyes she's a hero, not a coward. Love you Peter! Karen, where in the world do you come up with these questions?? Wow!!
Eso suena bastante interesante, en especial porque no es la clase de core wound con el cual yo podría conectar facilmente.
¿A qué te refieres especificamente con lo de ser el objeto sexual de su padrastro? ¿Tu protagonista realiza algun tipo de prostitución? De nuevo, es difícil escribir un personaje así, al menos para mí ¿Estás trabajando en alguna película?
Mauricio_Ibieta quize decir, que el padrasto la abusa sexualmente cada vez que quiere. Ahora estoy terninando guion de soldado que sufre De ptsd.
Was he referencing tarantino’s “hateful eight”?😂
True statement. My coach encouraged me to change my protagonist from male to female. It's changed everything but it's good. Great questions FC. Thanks ,all.
I disagree with what you said about women walking around afraid all the time. Everyone has fears regardless of gender, but the way you put it, you are almost calling all women cowards or something. Very close-minded of you fellow.
I remember reading something once, about how when a man baked a cake, it was just a man baking a cake. When a woman done it, she wasn't just baking a cake - she had to worry about how it looked, how SHE looked, how it was going to taste, who was going to eat it - or WOULD anyone eat it, etc etc. The woman I am writing about, wouldn't give a rat's butt, about baking a cake - for anybody. But once in a blue moon, she would show one of her wounds... Being a woman, seems like a full time acting job. Being frightened, was one of them; like knowing she was smarter, but intimidated...that's a hell of mental place to be.
What a very weird piece of story or article you’ve read.
cool
Cool
Women walk around afraid all the time??? He hasn't meant the toughest women yet.
They're rare
Not really afraid. More like cautious.
I've only listened to 35 seconds of it so far and am already on high alert because of how much bullshit he's spewing about us women always being scared.
If you want something that actually shows you how to write women, I recommend this video: (ruclips.net/video/hML-FGHGEN4/видео.html) It goes into depth and provides incredible examples of writing different tropes, emotions, levels of femininity, etc despite pertaining to a single fictional world. Good luck writing everyone!
(I'm on my cousin's account, hence the name 'Richard')
Shame - lost a lot of respect for him with his ridiculous sexist comments. Such an old fashioned backwardness.
reality is sexist now? lol
100 bonus points for acknowledging that sex/gender is binary! 👍
0 points for you to conflate sex and gender expression. :)