Four Loko Hard Seltzer Review: It's Felony Arrest Time! Probably!

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  • Опубликовано: 20 июл 2021
  • I'm going back for more Four Loko. Only this time, it's the Black Cherry Hard Seltzer. Lucky me!
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    TikTok Channel: / unemployedwineguy
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    Cameo: www.cameo.com/unemployedwineguy

Комментарии • 332

  • @liquidpaper1349
    @liquidpaper1349 2 года назад +427

    The hint of black cherry is like la croix. It tastes like the person next to you is imagining fruit.

    • @BrianHCohen
      @BrianHCohen 2 года назад +18

      Hint of Hint of Lime.

    • @michaelo5665
      @michaelo5665 2 года назад +19

      And they've never actually tasted the fruit they are imagining.

    • @dmacpher
      @dmacpher 2 года назад +9

      Homeopathic fruit

    • @herecometherats4634
      @herecometherats4634 2 года назад

      I have never been able to explain my thoughts on black cherry seltzers before but you are spot on

    • @michaelo5665
      @michaelo5665 2 года назад +1

      @AUTISMO but la croix is dogshit with plastic in it....

  • @robertgrantz6639
    @robertgrantz6639 2 года назад +274

    "Dog's breath, Twizzler, butthole" sounds like a Re-Captcha gone amuck...

    • @SnarkNSass
      @SnarkNSass 2 года назад +2

      IKR!!😂🤣

    • @shaneg9081
      @shaneg9081 2 года назад +2

      Inspiration can come from anywhere.

    • @ambulocetusnatans
      @ambulocetusnatans 2 года назад +7

      That's 3 of the 4 Lokos.

    • @Bigngreen
      @Bigngreen 2 года назад +2

      Sounds like a punk band from the 90s

    • @woodrobin
      @woodrobin 2 года назад +3

      Those are also unfortunate nicknames for your ex-wife to give you on social media.

  • @zenergetic_8299
    @zenergetic_8299 2 года назад +202

    “That’s gonna do some work for you” is my motto when looking at alcohol percentages.

    • @andrewgarcia3136
      @andrewgarcia3136 2 года назад +7

      i view it as how close i can get to a san diego street corner and a public indecency charge

    • @tobiuchiha2627
      @tobiuchiha2627 11 месяцев назад

      Hmm 🤔 four loko seltzer lmao 💀 just buy a normal can fuck that B's

  • @chesterstevens8870
    @chesterstevens8870 2 года назад +132

    Four Loko: self respect be damned.

    • @SnarkNSass
      @SnarkNSass 2 года назад +2

      Oh, you know it! 😂🤣

    • @EikottXD
      @EikottXD 2 года назад

      What's your pfp from Chester?

    • @hazardous0887
      @hazardous0887 2 года назад +1

      That should be their motto

  • @SergeantKillGore
    @SergeantKillGore 2 года назад +110

    For those who want a public intox charge without going through a bunch of extra steps

  • @MattnUska
    @MattnUska 2 года назад +110

    Yo any advertisers out there. Even when he has negative reviews of a drink it makes me want to go out and buy it. As a joke but a sale is a sale right?

  • @ninjabreadman8166
    @ninjabreadman8166 2 года назад +144

    PV3 dropping deep lore factoids about mammalian anatomy and succubi. We appreciate your sacrifice, Cultured King 💪🤴👍

  • @MrAmansucks
    @MrAmansucks 2 года назад +33

    I drank 5 of those while I was standing outside with my homies. When I got back in the house and sat on the couch. Felt like a tsunami hit me on the head. I literally felt like I was drowning. That's the closest to death I have ever been.

    • @ldobbs2384
      @ldobbs2384 2 года назад

      😳What the fuck man??

    • @MrAmansucks
      @MrAmansucks 2 года назад +1

      @@ldobbs2384 yeah it’s a horrible feeling. And because I was drunk and out of my mind , I popped some wake pills and woke up after 12 hours🤣

    • @Whatevs_Punyeta
      @Whatevs_Punyeta 2 года назад +4

      That was a heroic amount of 4 Loko glad you're okay friend. Please avoid doing that again

  • @daviduliana9950
    @daviduliana9950 2 года назад +51

    A delightfully refined review, a strong aroma of sarcasm, with subtle hints of humor. Might be the best review yet.

  • @jblizzy6891
    @jblizzy6891 2 года назад +20

    Congratulations PV3! You are the first person, EVER, to string the words "dogs-breath" "Twizzler" and "butthole" together. You may redeem your prize at any local gas station/convenience store in the form of more "FourLOKO".

  • @lylekittle8528
    @lylekittle8528 2 года назад +30

    This man is the definition of a class act

  • @jano1574
    @jano1574 2 года назад +40

    the musky odor of the Demon that lays on you in your sleep paralysis - there's a Phoebe joke in there... dude, our boy has some darkness in himself xD

  • @nedtedjedfreded
    @nedtedjedfreded 2 года назад +22

    “I feel like someone who just took their first step into committing a crime”

  • @FluffyTheTerrible
    @FluffyTheTerrible 2 года назад +20

    Only a king would endure such suffering for his people

  • @skyeozga4935
    @skyeozga4935 2 года назад +46

    The four in four loko comes from the four other psychotropic ingredients in the original recipe back when it was actually just an alcoholic energy drink…
    Caffine
    Guarana
    Taurine
    Wormwood
    Have managed to make a pretty honorable tribute mixing absinthe and energy drinks

    • @Ry-wu3nt
      @Ry-wu3nt 2 года назад +4

      I never realized it had wormwood in it. No wonder the high from it was so gnarly.

    • @XneverstopfightingX
      @XneverstopfightingX 2 года назад +3

      Ah the glory days... not like the darkness we are stuck with.

    • @Ry-wu3nt
      @Ry-wu3nt 2 года назад +4

      @@XneverstopfightingX Four Loko was the one true light. Now we are forsaken.

    • @jphanson
      @jphanson 2 года назад +5

      It’s right on Wikipedia: the “four” in “Four Loko” is the number of standard drinks in the original can.

    • @Ry-wu3nt
      @Ry-wu3nt 2 года назад

      @@jphanson axe!

  • @cypherfunc
    @cypherfunc 2 года назад +13

    6:51 "It's like you're a fugitive, from flavor." 😂😂😂😂

  • @SigRho1429
    @SigRho1429 2 года назад +49

    The face PV3 makes when he takes that first sniff screams “At least it isn’t Malort’s.”

    • @surreal9558
      @surreal9558 Год назад +1

      anything is better than malorts

  • @mikealvarenga3721
    @mikealvarenga3721 2 года назад +9

    Wow, the lore drop this week was a treat! This is just the cherry on the depressing frosted, divorce baked, and Phoebe twisted cake

  • @DanielVance
    @DanielVance 2 года назад +28

    I think Spittoon actually enjoys the flavor. And what's up with the knife getting a co-star role?

    • @Ogrematic
      @Ogrematic 2 года назад +6

      Could not help but notice it was the Only other thing on the counter, and did not have the same handle as the knives in the knife block, which means he brought it with him, and it's just for emergencies, like if the homeowner returns...

  • @cosmicvines
    @cosmicvines 2 года назад +21

    Have I already seen this or has my day just gotten better?

  • @isaacsantos6200
    @isaacsantos6200 2 года назад +8

    This can is only Four Loco people

    • @derekw9724
      @derekw9724 2 года назад

      This is canned unhappiness, so I am in full agreement

  • @SnarkNSass
    @SnarkNSass 2 года назад +6

    Bowlers??? You know you bowl PV3... Who you trying to fool. Not us fella.
    Love you so much. I'm in kiddo. You rock!!💜☮️🖖🏻

  • @JessHull
    @JessHull 2 года назад +53

    I worried about what he has planned for that lone knife he has sitting on that counter.

  • @aajustjay
    @aajustjay 2 года назад +8

    Next Level, truly next level....(mutters..."yaayy"...through clenched teeth). Bing searches... and he said butthole....and musky demon. Word craftsmanship. Savage!

  • @jonathankleinow2073
    @jonathankleinow2073 2 года назад +16

    "I understand the process of using your mouth and swallowing, I'm just saying, how would they physically do that?"
    I don't know. Maybe ask Phoebe. Or Abby.

  • @108mle
    @108mle 2 года назад +5

    PV3 you are doing the Lord’s work … warning us about Abby, Phoebe, Chadwick, your father, and now Four Loko!

  • @oljerseysoul8724
    @oljerseysoul8724 2 года назад +8

    First of all, the sound coming out of him at 0:07 almost took me out 🤣...

  • @LordRae
    @LordRae 2 года назад +3

    I have a vintage can of Joose circa 2010 back when they had caffeine in them. I bought it right before they pulled Four Loko, Joose and Sparx all off the market while they removed caffeine. Somehow this can got pushed to the back of my fridge. It even made the move to my new house with me. It's been refrigerated for the last 11 years so it should be safe to drink right? Maybe PV3 is up for it. I should send it to him.

  • @laddyboy123
    @laddyboy123 2 года назад +4

    Love seeing PV3 back on the high-quality beverage kick!

  • @Nebulous_Neuhaus
    @Nebulous_Neuhaus 2 года назад +2

    Prescott is so courteous, he could have made a Phoebe joke during the sleep paralysis demon bit but didn't; he coulda made another Phoebe joke during the "no gag reflex" bit but didn't either.

  • @billys.3258
    @billys.3258 2 года назад +16

    I was always told (though it's probably an urban legend) it was because the originals contained 4 legal "drinks" worth of alcohol and 4 cups of coffee's worth of caffeine.

    • @SnarkNSass
      @SnarkNSass 2 года назад +2

      Aaahh...yes... The 4 drinks in one kinda crazy... I know it well.😂✌🏻

    • @dylynblue9864
      @dylynblue9864 2 года назад +4

      Yeah they banned it or made them change it, because it had caffeine. 4 lokos just get you absolutely wasted in a weird way. If you drink like 3 of them, which is very sad, but I have done, you'll get black out drunk every time.

  • @trevor1550
    @trevor1550 2 года назад

    You’re always making me laugh! Keep up the good work.

  • @garrettpeek3551
    @garrettpeek3551 2 года назад +1

    @PV3 really enjoy when you show the purchase process on the fast food videos. Could you do one for your next tall boy purchase at the local Bodega?

  • @Jaydeyay
    @Jaydeyay 2 года назад +6

    "Buy one just to smell it" nah, ill just go get my dog

  • @Arrslicker
    @Arrslicker 2 года назад

    Another pure gold review from our man PVIII.

  • @willw553
    @willw553 2 года назад +1

    Your videos never fail to make me laugh! Never stop making these! Oh and do TWISTED TEA

  • @rileyh212
    @rileyh212 2 года назад +3

    I like it when PV3 pours the beverage into a glass so he can judge the color and clarity. I wish he’d do it for all of the reviews.

  • @09stir
    @09stir 2 года назад

    This might be the best one yet

  • @joedirt3449
    @joedirt3449 2 года назад +2

    That shirt, PV3, is on damn point!

  • @KW-gz9yr
    @KW-gz9yr 2 года назад

    I really enjoyed this exquisite and extensive review.

  • @javasoccernut
    @javasoccernut 2 года назад +1

    "I think I'm peeing myself.
    Let's take another sip. "

  • @wil_ant_war2043
    @wil_ant_war2043 2 года назад +4

    At least PV3 still has a friend even if they are in prison

  • @SquareOneForge
    @SquareOneForge 2 года назад

    Such great content.

  • @christianoliver3572
    @christianoliver3572 2 года назад +5

    12% in Texas would have to be sold in liquor store!!
    But hey my man WHY do you do this to yourself???
    Thank you for doing it though!!
    I worked as a Wine Steward in Austin and San Antonio years ago so I can understand from your point if view and that makes it even funnier!!

    • @banjo2759
      @banjo2759 2 года назад +1

      I live near Dallas and I saw four loco gold at my local 7/11, that’s 14%.

  • @FilthyCasualYT
    @FilthyCasualYT 2 года назад +4

    Goddamn, I swear I could see your soul leave your body when you took that first swig there, Pres-boy!

  • @MarkDotExe
    @MarkDotExe 2 года назад

    Good video Prescott and Nice shirt

  • @aldo9923
    @aldo9923 2 года назад +2

    Hey PV3, I watched an entire ad about cleaning ears just for you.

  • @cheriechantele1753
    @cheriechantele1753 2 года назад

    "I think I'm peeing myself"
    Too funny😂

  • @Sklang32
    @Sklang32 2 года назад +4

    They go down pretty smooth if you already have a krokidil and scoplamine speedball in ya.

  • @jamit2u
    @jamit2u 2 года назад

    Hola P3 which do you prefer to get in a dark cheap dive bar ? Cervaza or cabasa ?

  • @evapunk333
    @evapunk333 2 года назад +12

    Omg, this is reminding me of Strong Zero from Japan...he needs to get his hands on that somehow!

    • @glennash4606
      @glennash4606 2 года назад +2

      The famed gaijin killer. I loved it when I lived there, it's impossible to find in the UK sadly.

    • @evapunk333
      @evapunk333 2 года назад +1

      @@glennash4606 Same in the US..and expensive as fuck to ship too.

  • @robinnegus6499
    @robinnegus6499 2 года назад

    I really enjoy watching this man drink

  • @Chudhole
    @Chudhole 2 года назад

    We’ve come a long way. Back in my day we still did a shot of J D and a Budweiser. It was super exotic when Zima appeared.

  • @mrbone03
    @mrbone03 2 года назад

    Best shtick yet!!! Love the expanded PV3 Universe.

  • @justintr4888
    @justintr4888 2 года назад +4

    See if Troy can Shawshank you out some of his prison wine, do a tasting video for that. I'm sure it'll be the highlight of his half-hour computer time for good behaviour!

  • @TheSommNextDoor
    @TheSommNextDoor 2 года назад +2

    Omg FourL oko bringing back bad memories 😖

    • @antimarx265
      @antimarx265 2 года назад

      Clearly you've never drank 4 loko if you have had memories formed while under its influence

  • @DavidSlabaugh
    @DavidSlabaugh 2 года назад +1

    Ugh… you’re okay, right PV3? Looking at you… and that knife you have on the edge of the counter… while a LOT of talk about legal trouble is going on… you’re okay, right?
    Remember, we’re all in this together, and we’re pulling for you!

  • @mrcody1924
    @mrcody1924 2 года назад +1

    Yoooo dude you HAVE to do Wild Irish Rose red, it's another old one

  • @103drs
    @103drs 2 года назад

    You should review Southern Comfort

  • @enki4589
    @enki4589 2 года назад

    Dude!!!! This one is soooooo goood!!!!

  • @zacharytoney1344
    @zacharytoney1344 2 года назад +13

    Did the wife get back with you after the channel blew up? House is looking... stocked.

  • @hosonitz
    @hosonitz 2 года назад

    The face after cracking the can was priceless

  • @meruem313
    @meruem313 2 года назад

    Has any of those brands a hard seltzer without added flavor? Probs tastes like shot lol but I'd wanna try it

  • @iartghetto
    @iartghetto 2 года назад +1

    I went into a bodega in Peekskill one night and was perusing the 40oz bottles when this guy wandered over with gusto and said "Know what kinda night it is?!? It's a Four Loko night!" and proceeded to demand from me my favourite Four Loko flavours.

    • @iartghetto
      @iartghetto 2 года назад +1

      I was also at a gas station in Buffalo where I directed a respectable young woman to the Four Loko as she was looking for MD-2020 at a place that could only sell beer.

  • @loganreidy7055
    @loganreidy7055 2 года назад +5

    "how would anyone drink this"
    College

  • @nolansykinsley3734
    @nolansykinsley3734 2 года назад

    I still cannot believe you have not reviewed the 13 Crimes Snoop Dogg wine, it is literally right up your alley!

  • @GoodWithHands27
    @GoodWithHands27 2 года назад

    next try Blue label!!! you deserve a treat!

  • @vow4621
    @vow4621 2 года назад +2

    He refered to his own family info as "lore"

  • @nensondubois
    @nensondubois 9 месяцев назад

    Hey! You should review Heady Topper! I got a 4 pack can and it is the best beer in the world!

  • @fltchr4449
    @fltchr4449 2 года назад

    You're secretly sponsored by Four Loko. I feel challenged to try it. Great energy in this one.

  • @jonnyleeg4058
    @jonnyleeg4058 2 года назад

    PV3 got some fire today. Going HAMM on the quatro loko

  • @VincentsVideoVisions
    @VincentsVideoVisions 2 года назад +1

    PVIII - do you have a PO box? I have some stuff you should review. Alcohol of course. I also am worried about your nutrition. I'm sure I have some cans of pork n' beans to spare.

  • @NuclearTopSpot
    @NuclearTopSpot 2 года назад

    2:29 when prescott goes ↪
    you know dis gon be gud

  • @bigernmccracken5736
    @bigernmccracken5736 2 года назад +1

    That big-boy can looks enormous in your rat-fingers, PV3! 🤣 The monologue and facial animation has improved so much since you started this cult of personality, man. I’m ranking this review up there with Malort. Can’t wait to see what our new character “Troy” gets up to, as he drinks his Pruno in his prison cell!
    Wait… there’s an absolutely awful review idea… Pruno… 🤔

  • @lucaskeaton3362
    @lucaskeaton3362 2 года назад +4

    I was hoping he'd drink more like he did in the other review. If the watermelon made him happy, the gold made him angry, what about the black cherry! I even went out to buy one to drink with him (a black cherry one as well)

    • @ALEXGAYMAR2312
      @ALEXGAYMAR2312 2 года назад +1

      God, this one its disgusting to be honest, Poor guy

  • @Wikipamela
    @Wikipamela 2 года назад

    "I'm not sure how anyone can swallow this".... as I slowly glance over at my husband who has been known to drink these. 🤣🤣

  • @mzalenski1
    @mzalenski1 2 года назад

    Yogurt flavored soju. Give yourself a pleasant surprise. You earned it.

  • @kyleblecha1
    @kyleblecha1 2 года назад

    PV3 had some real zingers on this review! Keep this up and you won't be unemployed for much longer

  • @LordRae
    @LordRae 2 года назад

    Four Loko sour apple is pretty good. But I prefer it on the rocks. Just pour it over a glass of ice. The little bit of water from the ice melting mellows it out just enough to make it delicious. Like a melted Jolly Rancher.

  • @Linerider99
    @Linerider99 2 года назад +1

    Suggestion: Bang Hard Seltzer

  • @ST-rx1vw
    @ST-rx1vw 2 года назад

    Try Underberg Natural Herb Bitters.

  • @thiccbiscuit6473
    @thiccbiscuit6473 2 года назад

    Try vizzy lemonade seltzers, or pbr seltzer

  • @DannyBellTheAuthor
    @DannyBellTheAuthor 2 года назад +1

    I would pair a Four Loko with a quarter pound hot dog from 7-11, the song Roller Mobster by Carpenter Brut, and a badly stubbed toe when you misjudge the height of a curb.

  • @Hazemake
    @Hazemake 2 года назад

    We need the Troy juice review PVIII.

  • @zacharyvowels1427
    @zacharyvowels1427 2 года назад

    Happy Dad from NELK coming soon?

  • @AndrewWellsPlus
    @AndrewWellsPlus 2 года назад +1

    At times I don't know if Unemployedwineguy is an actual sommelier or a guy that found a comedy niche pretending to be one... But then I see him really try to delay having to take a sip of something like this and I'm convinced he's an actual sommelier.

  • @adog231231
    @adog231231 2 года назад

    Fresh PV3 yes. Can't see this tasting great.

  • @joelallgaier2626
    @joelallgaier2626 2 года назад

    Seltzer bong!

  • @brianstocks8049
    @brianstocks8049 2 года назад

    sooo good

  • @skylerbond56
    @skylerbond56 6 месяцев назад

    Four cause a can is the equivalent of about 4 1/2 drinks so they rounded down. Also, its a chugger drink. I personally would grab a 2 liter of talking rain seltzer black cherry and add vodka.

  • @Nebulous_Neuhaus
    @Nebulous_Neuhaus 2 года назад

    Four Loko Hard Seltzer sounds like the kind of drink really upper-middle class Kyles would take once they feel that they've gotten "too old" (read: about 40-ish) for Monster energy.

  • @CoolKidHalter
    @CoolKidHalter 2 года назад +2

    Can I donate my leftover bing search?

  • @geoffsaalborn6645
    @geoffsaalborn6645 2 года назад

    I loved that stuff in my active alcoholism days!😆

  • @CatJabZ
    @CatJabZ 2 года назад

    Dignity, always dignity.

  • @Irakproductions
    @Irakproductions 2 года назад

    Four loko pairs with black air forces perfectly.

  • @davidp2888
    @davidp2888 2 года назад

    1:43 Annnnnnnnnnd....there we go!

  • @erichenao6537
    @erichenao6537 2 года назад

    There's a lot of throwing shade in this video. Nice.

  • @crazypjk
    @crazypjk 2 года назад

    the hint of blacking out..... I'm crying while laughing so hard!

  • @ShadowFlame420
    @ShadowFlame420 2 года назад

    now i definitely wanna buy one, at least just to smell it 🤣

  • @reallyWyrd
    @reallyWyrd 2 года назад

    The "Break Laws Speedrun any %" enabler.