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3 SIGNS it's time to move on from an AVOIDANT Ex!

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  • Опубликовано: 12 май 2021
  • In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin 3 SIGNS that it's time to move on from an avoidant!
    #DISMISSIVEAVOIDANT #PERSONALDEVELOPMENT #COACHCOURT
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    Related videos:
    Dismissive Avoidant: The best strategy to get a dismissive avoidant back
    • Dismissive Avoidant: T...
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Комментарии • 82

  • @camillod734
    @camillod734 3 года назад +109

    I saw this guy for a private counseling session. I was skeptical at first because I’m used to seeing a Clinical Psychologist but Coach really blew my mind. I walked away knowing it was time for me to walk away from my ex. I was heartbroken but by following his advice on how to let go I healed. 🐘👟

  • @nilesengerman8263
    @nilesengerman8263 Год назад +46

    After a dismissive avoidant lures you into falling in love, they'd give anyone an anxious attachment style

    • @mmt2310
      @mmt2310 9 месяцев назад +5

      This 100% happened to me. They will jump from relationship to relationship their entire lives. Sad.

    • @jordongee2347
      @jordongee2347 7 месяцев назад +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂
      As I've been diving in to attachment theory off the back of a 5 year with one, I've literally been saying this SAME exact thing. ANYONE would develop an anxious attachment with the kind of treatment I got. 100000000%, I've been in a LDR for a few YEARS and never felt more alone than I was LIVING with a DA.
      I finally straight up told her, you're going to end up alone just like your mom, and maybe that's fine for you, but I likely doubt it. Of course the DA doesn't take criticism, I didn't give 2 shits at that point. We're adults, you're in your late 30s bud, figure it out, it's no wonder at 2 years she said that was her longest relationship. 😂😂

    • @therocknrollcook
      @therocknrollcook 7 месяцев назад

      @@jordongee2347 I can beat tgst mine was 50 years old make and our 6 month relationship was his longest! 😮

  • @gavinbrooke
    @gavinbrooke Год назад +22

    Once you know that they are a DA....THAT'S when its time to move on. Don't waste your time.

  • @arankagionetti2098
    @arankagionetti2098 11 месяцев назад +10

    Im truly deeply beilive that anyone whos make attempt to reconcile with avoidant dismissive people those are the ones whos also have underlying issue and need therapy! No way any right minded person put up with this nonsense!

    • @Moonchildstargazer
      @Moonchildstargazer Месяц назад

      Anxious preoccupied people will put up with avoidant ppl

  • @deemorgan4479
    @deemorgan4479 Год назад +16

    I guess I'm at the point of being fed up making excuses for a DA. I gave to no ends. I have gone through alot of pain in my life but don't hold that against another person. People need to take responsibility for themselves and heal. And for those who have worked on our own helping don't let anyone unravel that. I thought I'd never say this because I'm loyal but MOVE ON

  • @nameloading..8665
    @nameloading..8665 Год назад +5

    Moved to another continent after 2 years long distance, get here and find out hes a DA

  • @LasVegasSand_s
    @LasVegasSand_s 3 года назад +37

    Love how you just start with words like "I'm ready to serve you guys again" that in and of itself really shows where you're coming from. Thanks.

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад

      You got it Ethan, thanks for watching!

  • @JessiJordan
    @JessiJordan Год назад +9

    How is it that the avoidant can start out being vulnerable saying all the lovely things about missing and loving you early on but then switches and suddenly they cannot as a relationship progresses? I don't understand

  • @busyazn
    @busyazn 2 года назад +43

    Thank you!!!
    2:35 - 1. If they become mean...do you deserve to be treated this way?
    6:15 - 2. Zero signs of reconciliation. Hear through the grapevine that they're out with others or happy without you.
    8:50 - 3. When your mental health starts to slip, become infatuated, overthinking (attached), etc. Am I listening to too many RUclips videos about attachment styles? Avoiding your social friends? Not taking care of my health or diet?
    13:30 soft pitch as a friend. It's not "nothing or all' for DA". They have to rebuild their trust in you.

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You. 2 года назад +62

    DAs dont have the ability or need to make their partner happy.

  • @carlaforth7707
    @carlaforth7707 8 месяцев назад +4

    Screw that. HE approached me and made me fall for him. Now he wants to play some kind of mind fuck games? Nope. He needs to man up. Walk away!

  • @cryptocandy333
    @cryptocandy333 Год назад +6

    It's like we have no rights and have to do all the bending and waiting, and walking on eggshells?

  • @yellowtheresunshine
    @yellowtheresunshine 2 года назад +13

    Also.....
    ** when your friends see your DA actively seeking a relationship on a dating site 😄
    True story.

  • @kerrystubbs7617
    @kerrystubbs7617 Год назад +5

    Had my 1st session with Courtney the other day and was very impressed! Empathic, Insightful and Genuine.........not about money, but more about sharing his knowledge and wisdom.

  • @yougotgroove
    @yougotgroove 9 месяцев назад +2

    If they cannot comprehend their attachment style, at the very least, it will never happen,
    Especially if they seek validation from ex boyfriends

  • @darkmoon1951
    @darkmoon1951 2 года назад +13

    My DA ex bf broke up with me over 2 months ago I did nc with him but I broke it after 5 weeks I send him an apology text he responded and apologized too, then a week later I send him videos about dismissive avoidant personality and anxious preoccupied personality he just opened it, I asked him to block me from everywhere because I will keep sending him text (the day of the break up he blocked me from Instagram) now I'm blocked from everywhere, I'm hurt more than when he broke up with me

    • @onnol917
      @onnol917 Год назад +1

      You went from bargaining to pain&acceptance. Stages of grief

    • @darkmoon1951
      @darkmoon1951 Год назад +1

      @@onnol917 I'm okayish now I don't want him anymore he was very toxic and he was dragging me down with him

  • @vinezcentral
    @vinezcentral 2 года назад +5

    i have been in no contact with a DA for the past 2 years ....and now i finally realized she was a DA and the issues involved.i feel sooo stupid i never realized the issues right in front of me.

  • @onnol917
    @onnol917 Год назад +14

    The moment they pull away and you know they are soothing with someone else.
    No matter the conversations, how great you kissed, the warm cuddles, great sex, you and her against the world adventures. If you love yourself its time to drop it, grieve&mourn and move on.
    Their attachement is something they can barely do something about, what they do with is is something what they can something about.

    • @Ckyt572
      @Ckyt572 11 месяцев назад +2

      Nothing matters after they pull away. But no one will kiss him like I did and at some point I will become the phantom ex and he will regret dumping me.

  • @thechillzone8070
    @thechillzone8070 Год назад +8

    No. They also become mean because you expressed emotion or they felt intimacy. When things get good they freak the fuck out. They are evil

    • @ineffige
      @ineffige Год назад +3

      They are like 70% NPD. Stay away from those toxic animals

    • @Ytdeletesallmycomments
      @Ytdeletesallmycomments Год назад +3

      ​@@ineffige😂😂😂
      Yup

  • @bailey1493
    @bailey1493 Год назад +6

    Just wonder if this applies the same if the other partner left the avoidant? He’s an avoidant male, 35yo. He will go days even a week and not even send a good morning text.

  • @veronicahamilton5513
    @veronicahamilton5513 3 года назад +9

    Looking good and refreshed, Coach! Great to see your smiling face 😁

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад

      Hey Veronica!!! Thanks, I needed it lol

  • @tumbleweedconnection7906
    @tumbleweedconnection7906 6 месяцев назад +1

    My ex who definitely has some dismissive avoidant tendencies said to me that she doesn't know what she's doing. Relating to love and relationships yeah she doesn't lol. First breakup a year ago she didn't think we were going to fall in love then we got back together and fell in love but now it's oh i was in love with you just not deeply lol. Like im sitting here measuring the depths of the love 🙄

  • @onelife5302
    @onelife5302 3 года назад +5

    My ex is definitely being a turtle. She came back and realized she doesn't have time to reconnect and handle the stress of nursing school. I asked to sit down and discuss and she disappeared.... I guess i just wait now.

  • @dicerevo
    @dicerevo 2 года назад +2

    I get mixed messages whenever I collect the kids. One day is silence and pushing the kids out the door. Next it’s let’s talk about the kids. We need to communicate more. Then I get no response whenever I message in regards to the kids. It’s like she just wants to know I’m there but doesn’t want me there. At this point I’m convinced the relationship coming to an end was the best thing (it became toxic for me) but it’s hard to know where I stand. Just like when we were together.

  • @cryptocandy333
    @cryptocandy333 Год назад +4

    Why do we have to bend over and wait for DA to come around.?

  • @teshatesha8088
    @teshatesha8088 3 года назад +6

    GLAD YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUR BOOK 📖 YOU KEEP ME INSPIRED 🙌🙏

  • @Princess-ef2ux
    @Princess-ef2ux 2 года назад +5

    Wow thank you for this,
    This is so true & so important to remember.
    12:07

  • @casadecolores.ceramics
    @casadecolores.ceramics 3 года назад +5

    what a great channel. so glad i discovered it.

  • @teshatesha8088
    @teshatesha8088 3 года назад +3

    CAUGHT THE PLAY BACK ▶️ HEY 👋 COACH COURT. YOUR CONTENT IS ALWAYS ON POINT 🙌😊

  • @gorgjess_one
    @gorgjess_one 2 года назад +3

    coach Court's energy is very genuine ❤. Recently I've understood so much about them and myself. I've been able to apply his teachings to my personal situation. I feel so much better! thank you Coach!

  • @akwasiadjei9606
    @akwasiadjei9606 2 года назад +8

    Thank you so much for the vidz: all you said about DA is true with regards to my ex.
    She was avoidantant she was not ready for open communication; she went into her Shield and never came out. She had faults with everything I do: I ignored all the red flags; buying her gifts and putting all energy in it to work but still she says her emotions has not changed.
    I went to NC; but when I contacted her; she was opened was like when I walked out I made a big statement and she felt I was gone for good hence we can’t do anything for us to be together as she’s seeing someone.
    I used to respond her txt but after knowing her new relationship; I have ignored her and have not heard from her after 1dec.
    Not sure she will turn around or that’s the end ?

  • @estalindabelle
    @estalindabelle 8 месяцев назад

    I think im secure and being with a da brought the ap version out of me . This vid is good cause he did all these things and pushed me away cause thats a da’s mo at times. I heard someone say subconsciously da’s are game players because of all the independence and autonomy they need. Im glade i am free they were prioritizing other females kinda like a harem of girls no way ill pass. Now he hits me up and acts like nothing happened no thanks he was mean as hell to me in the end. i am an ap in recovery now just like you. I have texted u but didnt do coaching cause i just knew that relationship was doomed . Thanks for being so kind and approachable. Id love a video of u talking about what ur ex wife’s attachment style was !😂

  • @anon_ya
    @anon_ya 2 года назад +5

    Your videos are so positive. ❤

  • @wyattearp7082
    @wyattearp7082 2 года назад +5

    What about a 10 year marriage with kids?

  • @Ryan-yg7zc
    @Ryan-yg7zc 3 года назад +12

    Coach is it normal to be in a relationship where you cant expect someone to communicate in a healthy reciprocal way?

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад +12

      It’s not good for the long term health, no

  • @PanGrono
    @PanGrono 3 года назад +13

    Yes she is mean and it is so confusing. Like a different person!

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад +2

      😔

    • @bch5758
      @bch5758 3 года назад +2

      Mine is exactly the same 😞

    • @ineffige
      @ineffige Год назад

      Czesc,dokladnie to samo mnie właśnie spotkało.Strasznie ryje beret, chetnie bym pogadać pogadać to wyglądało u Ciebie

  • @sally5256
    @sally5256 Год назад

    You are the Best! Always calming sound advice! Never fails!

  • @Candy_Mountain
    @Candy_Mountain Год назад

    I just love you Coach Court… my name is Court too ❤

  • @An_Gha_
    @An_Gha_ 11 месяцев назад +2

    One sign: you are with a DA.
    Get out. Lol

  • @thechillzone8070
    @thechillzone8070 Год назад +3

    I gave her a day or space and we were supposed to go away. She flipped. I feel your blaming the anxious.

  • @toxic-freearmy8949
    @toxic-freearmy8949 Год назад +1

    Mine brokeup over religious views once 🤣

  • @nicolebiaggini5907
    @nicolebiaggini5907 2 года назад +3

    Coach Court should I wish happy birthday to my dismissive avoidant or not? Im in no contact for 5 months next week and he hasnt reached out

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +8

      If it’s been 5 months, I’m thinking he may have moved on.

  • @debrabucci1670
    @debrabucci1670 3 года назад +3

    Hello coach thank you for your videos it helps me deal with my DA. I would like to ask, Is it possible to be anxious and secure same time?

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад +5

      It is possible. You could be someone who was secure but then became anxious during turmoil

  • @smiths698
    @smiths698 3 года назад +5

    It's been a minute, nice to see you back. 😁

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад +3

      Thank you!! It’s good to be back ☺️

  • @HanaBassnas2179
    @HanaBassnas2179 3 года назад +3

    Hello, I can’t find how to pay for email coaching on your website?

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  3 года назад +2

      Back in stock!
      www.fruitfulseedz.com/collections/all?sort_by=price-ascending

  • @saudalkalami5613
    @saudalkalami5613 3 года назад +5

    This is related to, an APs insecurity, jealousy and Anxiousness and DAs deactivation or moving on.
    I am an AP and my ex is DA. During the break up talk I ended up asking something inappropriate/insensitive/crossed boundaries, basically about when she last masturbated, and while she told me that, in my anxiousness I further asked her if she imagined me, she didn't want to answer that, that only triggered me further because she always used to tell me she's not over her ex, she still loves him, but knows they can't be together and that whenever they meet while not dating others, they make out.
    She also said during that conversation that she can't emphathise with me anymore and she doesn't care that I'm hurt coz she feels indifferent because of how I was victimising myself and in doing so manipulating her to accept me in some way.
    These are very sensitive and personal questions, however, considering all of the above I'm trying to understand if she has really moved on or was she just deactivating?

  • @gsxrfem5180
    @gsxrfem5180 Год назад

    Even a spouse?

  • @lizlilliston7993
    @lizlilliston7993 3 года назад

    Do DAs or FAs have a need to try to break your boundaries