Wtf, like 3 days ago I had a simillar experience on ketamine. Let me be straightforward, I was thinking about my kinda porn addiction while tripping and sudenly some memories from childhood started appearing. It felt as if there was something which I completely forgot about, some kind of situation. So I focused on this phenomena and more situations from my childhood, like small traumas came to my mind. I could see them vividly and felt this clinging and emotions associated with them. Those emotions and overall energy felt like this rigid attachment, but it didn't really culminate in a one particular scene like an sexual assult in your case. I would describe the emotions as shameful, stressful, kinda obsessive. But how could a child develop addiction and this unhealthy patterns from the first experiences connected with sexuality? It really felt as if someone hurt me, maybe not as severe as in your case, but nonetheless I felt those situations from childhood hindered me. It was like I was disturbed in my early stage and didn't really realise it for a long time. It has been only few days since the experience, but I feel different. I know that I will explore this space a bit more, but for now I need to settle this recent experience.
@@jedrekpawlowski9645 I’m not a professional.. so what I’m about to say is just from stuff I’ve heard, read, or feel.. just wanted to preface with that as my reply is purely meant to be thought provoking.. I think because men are meant to suppress most of their feelings that when you feel uncomfortable or wronged you internalize that as shameful and wrong. People tend to ruminate on things they can’t make sense of.. they’ll circle around topics until they can complete the thought. & Addictions form as coping mechanisms in most cases.. so let’s say you’re obsessed with a certain kind of porn it could be a way for your brain to try to resolve that for you. To lowkey bring you back there over and over until it’s faced.. or maybe to help you feel okay with the pleasure or discomfort of it .. not the same topic, but related concept: I feel fine and well adjusted most days lol but when I’m emotionally triggered in certain ways the way my past experiences have affected me shows.. so you can have issues that live under your surface and not even know they’re there or the extent of their damage until something brings them to the surface. I’m really interested in hearing how this develops and/or resolves for you.
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Wtf, like 3 days ago I had a simillar experience on ketamine. Let me be straightforward, I was thinking about my kinda porn addiction while tripping and sudenly some memories from childhood started appearing. It felt as if there was something which I completely forgot about, some kind of situation.
So I focused on this phenomena and more situations from my childhood, like small traumas came to my mind. I could see them vividly and felt this clinging and emotions associated with them. Those emotions and overall energy felt like this rigid attachment, but it didn't really culminate in a one particular scene like an sexual assult in your case. I would describe the emotions as shameful, stressful, kinda obsessive. But how could a child develop addiction and this unhealthy patterns from the first experiences connected with sexuality? It really felt as if someone hurt me, maybe not as severe as in your case, but nonetheless I felt those situations from childhood hindered me. It was like I was disturbed in my early stage and didn't really realise it for a long time.
It has been only few days since the experience, but I feel different. I know that I will explore this space a bit more, but for now I need to settle this recent experience.
@@jedrekpawlowski9645 I’m not a professional.. so what I’m about to say is just from stuff I’ve heard, read, or feel.. just wanted to preface with that as my reply is purely meant to be thought provoking.. I think because men are meant to suppress most of their feelings that when you feel uncomfortable or wronged you internalize that as shameful and wrong.
People tend to ruminate on things they can’t make sense of.. they’ll circle around topics until they can complete the thought. & Addictions form as coping mechanisms in most cases.. so let’s say you’re obsessed with a certain kind of porn it could be a way for your brain to try to resolve that for you. To lowkey bring you back there over and over until it’s faced.. or maybe to help you feel okay with the pleasure or discomfort of it .. not the same topic, but related concept: I feel fine and well adjusted most days lol but when I’m emotionally triggered in certain ways the way my past experiences have affected me shows.. so you can have issues that live under your surface and not even know they’re there or the extent of their damage until something brings them to the surface. I’m really interested in hearing how this develops and/or resolves for you.