Once I wrote "The information hit her like a truck. She would know, because moments later she was hit by a truck. A real one, not a metaphorical one." and I've never forgiven myself
@@Starry_Tones Honestly there isn't much to say it's about a small town "superhero" (aka just a random person who does vigilante stuff cause shes got nothing better to do with her time) and her nemesis, literally just a rich kid with too much time on his hands who thought being a supervillain would be fun. Eventually it becomes obvious enough that this is just a big game they were playing and so they remain "enemies".....as they go out to eat together and just chat every Tuesday evening. Definitely a normal villain/hero dynamic. Anyway the government is concerned about the rise of superheroes and would like to take care of this in the dark, so while they're having dinner, someone tried to kill her, and he saved her. Now they're both on the run trying to uncover a government conspiracy except it's mostly him who's doing that because she's far too distracted with the fact that apparently her enemy was a lot more competent than she thought and could have killed her any time. So why didn't he? This line is right after he says that the villain-hero thing was just a game and she was his friend. Now he _thought_ it was obvious, but he wasn't counting on her being Adrien Agreste levels of oblivious. And then they got hit by a truck.
That reminds me of that one post that’s complaining about the toothy grin (Warning: These are not the exact words lmao) “Writers love to write ‘he had a toothy grin’ but like wtf is a toothy grin? Your just making stuff up. I’m walking feetily, that’s how you sound”
"he stopped to swallow the remainder of his pride. Unsurprisingly, it tasted like saliva " this was redundant on purpose but I still love how it sounds out of context
I’ll never forget that time I said a character was “woken up by sunlight shimmering through the window” and then about 5 seconds later stated that “it was still dark outside” in a fanfic.
One time I opened a fic with one of the characters in a car, and then after a couple paragraphs she was magically in her bed in the middle of the night
Once I was reading a fanfiction where one of the characters dramatically revealed that he had a brother three different times in different chapters, and every time people reacted with "you have a brother??? I didn't know!" And then in the last chapter the brother actually showed up, and everyone was speechless because they didn't know the character had a brother. It was a good fanfic though, so it's fine.
I wrote a scene where a female knight had been badly wounded by a dragon and found by a young monster boy. Noticing the knight's wounds, the young boy says, "Wow. That's a lot of damage."
“Nobody spoke. Especially not Sterling.” Sterling had just been found murdered roughly a paragraph earlier. EDIT: For all those desperately hoping the line was kept in, the draft this was for is unfortunately lost to time (and I’m still EXTREMELY mad I deleted it, in case there were other gold bars in the trash bag that I no longer remember), but this one still stands out very fondly in my mind and I absolutely intend to repurpose it at the nearest possible opportunity
i once wrote "He could only be described as a piece of paper - He wasn't very colorful and people had received minor (but annoying) injuries from him" and i never hated myself more
“I am an unreasonable man,” he said plainly, brushing invisible dust off of his clean black suit. “We once argued about trees.” I wrote this at 2 AM one night and I still have no idea what I was thinking or what it means.
You mind is a charming thing of beauty, to just randomly pop that one out. But too be fair writing late at night can either get the best writing, the worst writing, or an amalgamation of both!
one time i was writing a draft for a book and i was really tired, so i’d forgotten how to say ‘furrowing his brow’ so i decided to write, ‘his eyebrows crunching’ i will never let myself forget this
@@-0m3rcy0-8 I changed it to "His plans usually played out exactly as he had intended. Sadly, this was not one of those occasions." It works for the stick-up-his-ass attitude the character has
I once wrote a comedic short story, and it is my masterpiece. This is my favorite part: “Happy new deer!” I called from outside the house. The door opened. “Don’t you mean new year?” I led the deer inside. “No I did not.”
“Eleanor had been an eldest sister for nearly all of her life, save for a brief period of time at the beginning when she’d been merely an only daughter.” I didn’t feel like revising it so I just wrote the whole story in a Lemony Snicket tone
I was thinking that about a few of the submissions in the video, like a lot of them COULD be lines from a Terry Pratchett or Lemony Snicket book, but they’d have to commit to that lmfao
Once at school, when we were studying Fathers and Sons, we had a writing task. We had to write a diary from the perspective of the main character. We had two periods to do it. I absolutely suck at any sort of creative writing, so, for the whole time, the only thing that I managed to string together was "I, Bazarov, have arrived"
I wrote “friggity froggity Fuck! I’m late!” for my main characters dialogue. I was tired and let my anxiety and depression write for me. It’s a gem for me.
That's the type of stuff I say 😭😭 I genuinely go around saying stuff like "what the flipping flip flops" or "scrumpdiddlyumtious" or "you dang darn dilly ding worm" or "you dingleberry" 😭😭😭 There's way more things like that too-
"In my yard I have two trees. One is a date tree. The other also, is a date tree. I have two date trees. I hate dates. I was born into a household of date loving freaks. This is my story."
I've done something like this before whilst working on a short story. The main character lives in Idaho, and I start off by introducing her as someone who hates everything about potatoes while being surrounded by them constantly (Because that made her quirky? I guess?) Anyway, by the next chapter, I revealed that oh yeah she actually had a sister that died very tragically not too long ago and actually her aunt is in the hospital now lolll
The two date trees line is actually from a very famous Chinese Writer/Critic/Revolutionist from early 20th century named Lu Xun（鲁迅）. It’s the opening line of one of his articles, named 《秋夜》 or An Autumn Night. It’s one of those things that show up in textbooks of middle school literature classes nowadays, and it’s since become a well known meme of the Chinese internet amongst the younger generation.
Everytime I feel bad about my writing, I remember my favorite line from the entire Twilight series. " Aro started to laugh, "ha ha ha," he chuckled. " -Actual sentence written by Stephanie Meyer in New Moon.
I don't remember that line, but I've only read New Moon in Spanish, so maybe the translator fixed it. I have to say, though, the Twilight Saga overall is excellently written. There's a lot to criticize about the content, but the execution is great
I and my BFF challenged ourselves to read our cringey fanfiction that we wrote back in elementary. My best awful line was "Their family owned 10,000 hectares of land," because she laughed and asked if this is a president of a small country, not a CEO. (I'm a dumbass when it comes to math.) Her best line is when she didn't know how to describe a fight scene, so she resorted to "kick here, kick there, kick everywhere". 'Twas very poetic.
I'm stealing this one for my tgcf fanfic, I'm not even joking at this point because like half the characters are dead in like the first time you read about them are dead
When I was in middle school I vividly remember my mom-who was reviewing my essay for creative writing- saying “There was an oddly normal sized window, it must have been put there by the people who built it!” Describing the inside of a dragon’s tower. I still laugh at it to this day
I once wrote a mermaid transform scene when I was like 12, and ended up describing legs this really horrific way (It’s translated from my first language, but this is very much still how it sounded in Swedish). And people wonder why I never show anyone my WIPs. “The orange scales that covered her whole fin slowly started to pull themselves into her fin and left a light skinned area of skin behind under. Her fin split itself into two, bony limbs that stretched themselves long over the cave’s rifled ground with each ending in a movable stump.” _Stumps._ I guess she canonically doesn’t have toes.
@@itsgirlcraft5842 yeah that was my thought process too behind why I wrote it lol. It definitely could work, pretty well too, but man was it disturbing to read back
@@Maybe_youre_quicksand yeah sure "De orangea fjällen som täckte hela hennes fena började sakta dra sig inåt och lämnade en ljushyad yta av hud kvar under. Hennes fena delade sig själv i två beniga lämmar som sträckte sig långa över grottans räfflade underlag där vardera slutade i en rörlig stump."
I was writing this fic mainly as crack, but this line of dialogue- "Huh. A secret elevator that goes to some secret base, probably. Cool. Very cool. Very secret."
My personal best-worsts that I dug out of a document from three years ago “I’ve got a good feeling about this and that can’t be good” “Forget forgetting and get to getting” “Why do you feel so proud when you manage to remember what day of the week it is”
I am aware that nobodies first draft is perfect, but I uncontrollably cringe when I think about some of the overly descriptive things that I’ve written while trying to be serious💀.
wrote this at 3 in the morning: "dont do that, you'll turn Canadian." was my characters response to her friend who kept saying sorry over and over again.
"his brain had space for nothing but c o o k i e, he was starting to think it was actually turning into one." And "the kitchen looked a lot like the Great British Bake Off itself had projectile vomited all over it." Two amazingly terrible lines from the same chapter.
“He stripped like one of those straight boys debone fish” and “a plastic bag that would’ve made Katy Perry jealous” and these two still make me giggle, though they are nothing compared to Mx Tupper Ware tbh
I don't know if it's the best or the worst thing I've ever written, but "And either way, he wasn't going to disembowel himself. He was sure he didn't have the, well, he didn't have the guts" is certainly...up there. (I don't have any context for this, it just popped up in my brain randomly).
"Her emotions made it impossible to control her emotions." I posted this lovely disaster of a statement. I was so tired but I think I had meant to say "Her emotions made it impossible to control her powers."
One time I described a hug as if I were writing an essay. “Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke, and began to squeeze. This action is commonly referred to as a hug.” Edit: THE ORIGINAL EXCERPT IS ACTUALLY WAY FUNNIER BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MORE VERBOSE AND SELF AWARE "Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke's body, and proceeded to pull his arms inward, which ended up squeezing Hawke a slight bit. This action could easily be described as a hug."
I mainly write sacrilege and dark comedy, so irony is kind of my thing, and I was losing it this entire video. All of these have a place in the right genre. I have laughed to tears reading abominations far worse than these and have deliberately written worse myself. It's fucking brilliant. I will die on this mountain
I stopped writing a while ago because it made me cringe so hard looking back at my first drafts, but knowing now that this is normal, maybe I'll try again. This was HILARIOUS btw. Edit: tysm for the encouragement you guys!! It's been nearly a year since I made this comment, but I got back into writing again. Rewriting lore and making a new draft!
@@noursama_the_old that seems like an over-editing problem. Maybe have someone else read over your first drafts and see what they would correct. Can be helpful to have that outside perspective.
Two teenage girls in a superhero story I’m workshopping: Girl one: (raising an eye brow and smirking) what, you think I’ve never pulled a bullet out of someone before? Girl two, absolutely horrified: THAT WAS MY ASSUMPTION, YEAH Edit: in hindsight, what makes this even better is that it’s Girl 2 who’s the superhero😂
I am a writer, yes, but my most cursed lines are stuff I have ACTUALLY SAID, so, I give you, "You can't tell anyone your middle name or it won't come true." "The real salad dressing is the friends we made along the way." "Beautiful but fatal, like a chaos hippie"
I was talking about a scene in Hamilton where there's no reason for King George to be on stage but he's there and strutting around like a chaos chicken
" Paper mache was stronger than his will to live," My best 3AM line tbh. The others are more like the lyrics of Spongebob theme song written like Old English.
How about: “At these words, turned his head downwards. It kept turning, until his eyes could fix on , his neck bent at an angle that would have killed him had he not already been dead, and (at least this was what it looked like to ) his face upside down and clipping like a glitchy video game character through his back.”
I was re-reading an old story of mine the other day and came across the beautiful line; 'her voice was like silk, but deadly silk' I still haven't forgiven past me.
I tend to either come up with nonsense or really specific analogies when I'm tired and I'd had a long day yesterday so I described my state of mind as being exhausted as Alexander Hamilton when he got blackmailed into having an affair by James Reynolds
Weirdly enough, I read this exact concept in a fanfic last week and it was one of the best lines 😂: ‘Careful,’ the ex-Templar whispered like silk over a razor blade. ‘We wouldn’t want you hurt, would we?’
I found this gem like a week ago in the depths of my abandoned Word documents. "He was confused, and asked the gods why they weren't acknowledging the death of the fire elves. The gods were confused and sent him away, thinking he was just overworked and confused." I have a bad habit of writing at night. Edit: Oh, I also once described a character's voice as "like a British accent but without the accent". Edit #2: Just remembered that once I forgot the word "shot" while writing and instead wrote that some guy died by getting hit in the head with a gun. Not even by a bullet, just had an unloaded gun thrown at him like a frisbee. I thought it was funny so I kept it in.
“Then he screamed, fell over, and made a desperate attempt to skitter away from himself-which failed miserably, as that is not possible.” I wrote this yesterday. Personally, I still think that’s a reasonable reaction to finding out your hair is glowing like you’re Rapunzel, especially when you are a 14-year-old boy and definitely not Rapunzel.
All I remember is that one Roblox video where this one guy says "YOUR GOING TO KILL HIM TO DEATH" and the RUclipsr just reacting with pure confusion for a few seconds
Reminds me of the time I was playing Doom Eternal and I yelled "I'm going to kill you to death!", and then spent a few minutes laughing after i realized what I had just said.
“Who do you think I am? Of course I don’t pre-record my polite coughs, they’re procedurally generated.” this character is a cyborg who has no respiratory system
One time, I wrote a scene for a horror comic I wanted to make, and when I read the script aloud, my mom called me out for writing this: "Police [1]: Umm... I think I heard something. Police [2]: Don't worry, you just must've heard something." After that, I was laughing for hours on end
I can imagine this working in the sense of "Hey, I'm not really paying attention to what you're saying right now, but I need to respond otherwise you'll _know_ I'm not paying attention," and they still manage to mess it up.
"the thousand year war had been going on for just under a thousand years." Is the kind of line a young adult novel would use. I could see someone like Percy Jackson explaining that "a lot of the generals in the war like to round up. so most of us have adopted the name even though it's not really accurate."
@@UJEvans "they were at around... I dunno, 800 years? And they thought, yeah dying and slaughter and everything is bad but, let's see if we can reach the thousands, the name would sound a lot cooler in the future. We're gonna die anyway so let's make our legacy sweet to the ear"
Honestly depending on the rest of narration style some of these could really work. Like the one overdramatically calling a receptionist an unthanked warrior. And I was feeling anxiety with the person late to school so that worked lol. Oh and the calm composure of a corpse one could certainly work amazingly
Yes, I cant think of any sentences off the top of my head, but I've read some stories where the writing style is like some of these and made me laugh just from how the author worded (or how the character thought, since it was in their view) things
I wrote a fantasy story when I was 12 where I came up with 3 different names for the same location. This is because I would get to a certain point, think “have I actually mentioned or named this town yet?” and come up with the entirely incorrect answer of no, I hadn’t named it at all. I later was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD which I think explains a lot
Some of these lines wouldn't actually be so bad in a comedy context. Redundancy can work as a form of humor when done properly and trashy majesty is honestly pretty brilliant.
"It took Miles a few moments to realise, but it really was the paper talking. And even worse, he recognised the voice. And it seemed the paper recognised him too." This is from a draft of a crack fic that I wrote at like 3 am while being in a car and really tired, and I will probably never finish it
@@Justin-ul7fh the Ace Attorney one Honestly, I have no explanation for this except that I was really tired and remembered a weird dream I had a few months prior
@@zwanzigzwanzig Interestingly... this could fit also fit Miles from The Candymakers. There must be something about Miles's that makes them prime targets for talking paper
Mine: "I felt the bubbly nervousness in the stomach one feels at the top of a rollercoaster right before the big drop" Because using 21 words is way better than just saying "My stomach fluttered" or something
Honestly sometimes it's better to be over descriptive depending on context If you want the reader to know exactly what the character is feeling or anything like that, maybe the scene is supposed to make the reader anxious as well, then describing rather than just saying it can help invoke that feeling
I think that's a really interesting line! We've all heard the sentence "my stomach fluttered" a thousand times, your line is full of personality and the reader can grasp the feeling it conveys so easily! Imo it's a great line 😫👌💖
so here's mine, this was a line i wrote while running off of three hours of sleep and after a long day of school “Well I’m glad you two had fun, I’d better get back to beating Kylear at this game before he starts pondering his own existence.” Vhesilla said, going back to her spot on the couch. She set down a single card, causing Kylear to cry out in frustration. She was guessing that the lesser demon had lost again.
@@itz_koki now that i'm re-reading it, i have no idea, but my sleep schedual has not improved in the last six months and it is currently two fourty am, so im still sleep deprived
So I wrote an entire scene (I'm talking a good several hundred words) and it got deleted. I loved this scene because there was a really sweet bonding moment and one of the characters was taking his rage towards an impossibly hopeless and scary situation out on a small video game character and giving it a proper scolding. Like, it was sweet, funny, and cathartic after a massive loss. I wrote this at 3am and thought "Wow! I knew I did well writing late, but this is really solid! Who needs sleep anyway?" So, why was it deleted then? Did I forget that I made it a major plot point that the evil goonies could track basically any electronics and the fact that they were playing a mobile game would completely reveal their location? No actually. I wanted that to happen and I knew these characters didn't know better. No, my issue was more stupid than that. My issue was that there were characters who DID know about the tracking problem and were sitting a stone's throw away. Yup. I forgot my mentor characters had ears, could hear the entire thing, and would have certainly stopped the entire thing from happening. I spent HOURS on that scene and now I have a habit of doing a periodic headcount of all my characters when writing. Lol
At that point, you either ignore the plothole or shoe-horn in a fix. The value of the great scene you wrote can outweigh the weight of logic -- signed, the person who loudly nitpicks movies
Something like that happened to me once. I had a character become a double agent and spill a bunch of the underground government’s secrets, telling the leader of the resistance that she had physical proof of her words… and then the leader who has a reputation for being a million steps ahead of everyone else proceeds to not ask for the proof.
“But the tree remained immobile.” I honestly don’t remember how this sentence came to be, but now I purposely incorporate it into every new story I write 😀
I’m writing a second book right now. I was pretty proud of describing a microwaved cup of coffee “ an unsavory cup of disappointment “ Only, coffee tastes like coffee no matter how you cook it. So there’s that. So I added that he used powdered creamer and dropped his cup onto the floor because I’m still proud of that line.
Nah, like....how you make the coffee matters. It could especially matter to the POV of the character in question, and paint either them or the narrator as being persnickety about coffee.
I wish I was less of a perfectionist so I could let myself write first drafts like this I mean I even revised the wording of this reply before posting it :(
I read a really bad rough draft of a story I wrote in 6th grade. One line said "she was skinnier that a starved homeless cat, probably cause she was starved and homeless. " it was from the perspective of a rude girl. She really insulted this girl so much. It was beautiful
If you want context, imagine stranger Things season 1 meets mean girls. That was the story I was writing. It was really bad but good memories of an edgy middle schooler.
I have written many an interesting line, but none have ever stuck with me like the time I tried describing my protagonist's conflicted feelings over a McGuffin: "A wiseman would've put it back, but I was neither wise nor a man."
Also, tried to begin a time-travel fic with this punchline right here : "The hero's journey began with a single step, followed by a poorly timed sneeze that sent him tumbling down the stairs to meet destiny."
This line always makes my sister laugh: "His kind brown eyes melted into hers like chocolate chips into a freshly-baked cookie." Not the worst line I've written; I've got plenty of stuff from when I was a teenager I could dig through if I had the patience. But I wrote THAT sucker in 2020, and it is the first line that comes to my head when I see something like "best worst line you've written".
I mean, that's a good descriptor imo. It's similar to "his chocolaty eyes melted into hers," but sounds much better. Especially since what I wrote could be interpreted that his eyes are literally chocolate
I’ve got half of a line from when I was 12 and thought I was a master at writing romance: “…and it seemed to become a competition as to who could kiss with more passion” 😐 I didn’t know even slightly how kissing worked, so I don’t even wanna begin talking about what the rest of those descriptions looked like
Update: Found a funny line in my late-night literature but I’m keeping it 👍 “But he was so, so wrong. So wrong that he could’ve made a war criminal look right, god damn it.”
Something about this is making me feel like I take my writing too seriously. The best I have to offer is the specific descriptor of "mid-range cologne" (I didn't feel like the character was enough of a wreck to wear cheap cologne, yet he certainly couldn't afford anything expensive, hence:) Edit: maybe "I glare nonchalantly" counts??? XD (not nessesarily a mistake, it very much fits the tone I'm going for)
@@silverish9081 Same. I mostly do this with my unused DnD characters, and maybe go a bit overboard sometimes, but those little things are what drives home that the person is "real."
i once wrote the line "flowering the waters", sent it to my friend, and they then proceeded to see nothing wrong with it at first it was very late at night in our defense
“The hum of the cannon seems even louder, if possible, than the last time, like a million bees opposed to a mere thousand.” and it was so funny that i just kept it in the final
Sounds cute. Seems like the character was turned into a doll or a decoration object of some sort. But as you labeled the sentence as weird, I think the context was different from what I said 😂
@@kieranotanuki I think it hits too close to home for me bc I can recall a couple dreams where I was a decoration object on a shelf 😂 so this concept doesn't feel weird at all
basically anything weve ever written fits into this but sometimes we make a typo & accidentally keep going w the typo. for example, the sentence we were trying to write was "he immediately shot down the idea" but we accidentally wrote shit instead of shot & kept going w it, so the sentence came out as "he immediately shit his pants"
One of my best-worst lines (which I intend to keep in the finished product) goes thusly: "Well, twenty-four shots of espresso a day keep the nightmares away so we pick our battles." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit: Almost forgot this gem of an exchange. “I have a bit of a question.” they started. “Go ahead.” Ace prompted with a slight nod. “How would you feel if I said, theoretically, I’ve currently got a friend staying here in the mansion?” they asked. The hero considered for a moment. “Depends on the circumstance. Why would this theoretical friend be here in the first place?” they asked. Charlie considered how to word it. “Say, theoretically, the hypothetical friend recently escaped from a violently abusive partner and he needed a place to stay. What of that, hypothetically speaking?” they continued. “I’d say that’s fair.” Ace said with a slight nod. They took a deep breath. “Okay, and what if, hypothetically in theory, this theoretical friend just so happened to be the villain who shot you last year?” they asked quickly. The hero turned to face them slowly. “Charlie, is there something you’re not telling me?” they asked. Charlie glanced away, and began fiddling with their scarf. “...Hypothetically.” Hypothetically and Theoretically were used so much- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit II: Just found this while editing an older draft of mine and: "No, this is perfect," he breathed breathlessly. Needless to say romance is not my forte.
Once I wrote "The information hit her like a truck. She would know, because moments later she was hit by a truck. A real one, not a metaphorical one." and I've never forgiven myself
Internet explorer approved
This sounds like something from a crack fic that you'd find on tumblr
Please elaborate. I love this.
that's amazing
@@Starry_Tones Honestly there isn't much to say it's about a small town "superhero" (aka just a random person who does vigilante stuff cause shes got nothing better to do with her time) and her nemesis, literally just a rich kid with too much time on his hands who thought being a supervillain would be fun. Eventually it becomes obvious enough that this is just a big game they were playing and so they remain "enemies".....as they go out to eat together and just chat every Tuesday evening. Definitely a normal villain/hero dynamic.
Anyway the government is concerned about the rise of superheroes and would like to take care of this in the dark, so while they're having dinner, someone tried to kill her, and he saved her. Now they're both on the run trying to uncover a government conspiracy except it's mostly him who's doing that because she's far too distracted with the fact that apparently her enemy was a lot more competent than she thought and could have killed her any time. So why didn't he?
This line is right after he says that the villain-hero thing was just a game and she was his friend. Now he _thought_ it was obvious, but he wasn't counting on her being Adrien Agreste levels of oblivious.
And then they got hit by a truck.
“…he breathed, breathily.” i wrote this line last week after a dreadfully long day. the absurdity of it prompted me to take a nap
Better than my "They breathed breathlessly" though :)
i read breathily as heavily and was wondering what was wrong
I thought you were going to say a Xanax lmaooo
@@throneisbed7833 STOP 💀
That reminds me of that one post that’s complaining about the toothy grin (Warning: These are not the exact words lmao)
“Writers love to write ‘he had a toothy grin’ but like wtf is a toothy grin? Your just making stuff up. I’m walking feetily, that’s how you sound”
"he stopped to swallow the remainder of his pride. Unsurprisingly, it tasted like saliva " this was redundant on purpose but I still love how it sounds out of context
Lol
Makes enough sense
I *love* this line
I LOVE THIS
This one is actually like poetic, I love it
Once I wrote my OC saying "I won't buy your bullsh*t even though it's on discount."
Their rival replied "That's not very cash money of you."
That's a pretty solid insult, not gonna lie
Kaz be like lol six of crows
Thats brilliant
writing 10/10
No omfg I’m dying
This is hilarious
"She had ginger hair, blue eyes, and sleek, black hair."
I couldn't decide what color her hair was. It was ginger in the end though.
she went through a phase, a very brief phase..
@@kiraoshiro6157 "it's not a phase!"
I’ll never forget that time I said a character was “woken up by sunlight shimmering through the window” and then about 5 seconds later stated that “it was still dark outside” in a fanfic.
It's okay. Once I said that someone's hand was released, and after a while the same (already free) hand was released again. From what? Idk.
I think I've made this exact mistake before
One time I opened a fic with one of the characters in a car, and then after a couple paragraphs she was magically in her bed in the middle of the night
Once I was reading a fanfiction where one of the characters dramatically revealed that he had a brother three different times in different chapters, and every time people reacted with "you have a brother??? I didn't know!" And then in the last chapter the brother actually showed up, and everyone was speechless because they didn't know the character had a brother.
It was a good fanfic though, so it's fine.
@@lizziepotter8957
Everyone has memory loss
I wrote a scene where a female knight had been badly wounded by a dragon and found by a young monster boy. Noticing the knight's wounds, the young boy says, "Wow. That's a lot of damage."
"But flext tape comes SUPER WIDE!"
Knight: *gurgles blood from an open stomach in protest*
The dragon: "I JUST SAWED THIS KNIGHT IN HALF!!"
This sounds like you were referencing Phil Swift's flex tape ads.
@@tricksfollies9549 It was the only thing I could think of at the time 😆
f l e x t a p e
“Nobody spoke. Especially not Sterling.”
Sterling had just been found murdered roughly a paragraph earlier.
EDIT: For all those desperately hoping the line was kept in, the draft this was for is unfortunately lost to time (and I’m still EXTREMELY mad I deleted it, in case there were other gold bars in the trash bag that I no longer remember), but this one still stands out very fondly in my mind and I absolutely intend to repurpose it at the nearest possible opportunity
that's actually funny keep it in the final
This is actually so darkly humorous and I love it haha
Put this line into a true crime documentary
I... I would love to read more of wherever this story is going! Lol
Whimsical writing like that really knows how to tickle a funny bone or two.
I am writing a dystopian book, and I am using this for the child's death. Thank you and goodbye
i once wrote "He could only be described as a piece of paper - He wasn't very colorful and people had received minor (but annoying) injuries from him" and i never hated myself more
That description is pure beauty
I actually love that sentence, it actually is unique
R/rareinsults
I actually adore this sentence
HAHA THAT'S BRILLIANT
This is mine and it was for a poem for school:
"I felt as if my heart was suddenly split two
like Czechoslovakia back in 1992."
That's not a bad one to be honest
the rhyme is a bit weak,
but the simile is at least unique
69 likes..
You rhymed two with 2 XD
Ohhh that's glorious
HELP
One time when I was writing, I described a character's jawline as "crisp."
That... That was a day
'his jawline was a sharp as the knife he had used to slaughter the children'
Wheezed
@@waterpollutionsavioursocie2654 a description of Anakin Skywalker.
@@garlicsalt9924 or William Afton, but you'll attract the weird fangirls so probably not..
I like that a lot. It has a vibe
I am stealing flesh confetti and no one can stop me
PSYCHO STREAMER steals FLESH CONFETTI against the wishes of his ADORING FANS
Same. Also hi Viz
i dont think i want to
@@cosplaycatcriminal Hello Anno!
I agree its brilliant writing
"Selfish as a fish" is honestly fucking amazing.
True haha
Fr lol
I was honestly hoping for “Selfish as a Shellfish”, but I can’t say that I’m disappointed in any way
Same @@alpii_3254
THAT PART LITERALLY HAPPENED JUST AFTER I READ THIS COMMENT
“The chair looked like a bear if bears were blue and chair shaped” was the best thing I’ve ever said.
This is fucking poetry, i love it
seriously what 😭😭😭
Sounds like something Douglas Adams would write, I love it lol
Speech 100
“I am an unreasonable man,” he said plainly, brushing invisible dust off of his clean black suit. “We once argued about trees.”
I wrote this at 2 AM one night and I still have no idea what I was thinking or what it means.
You mind is a charming thing of beauty, to just randomly pop that one out.
But too be fair writing late at night can either get the best writing, the worst writing, or an amalgamation of both!
@@Silent13allad too true! I’m guessing it’s based off of a dream I had but I really don’t know, nor can I remember
Well, ... I don't think it's *that* unreasonable to argue about trees.
Im cackling Im gonna steal that immediately sicjjsbsfhdhhsbsb
This looks it would be on Stan Twitter
one time i was writing a draft for a book and i was really tired, so i’d forgotten how to say ‘furrowing his brow’ so i decided to write, ‘his eyebrows crunching’
i will never let myself forget this
All you ever hear in school is the crunch of confused students (I just realised how that sounded and I’m keeping it)
Haha!
"His eyebrows crunching at the scene he bare whitnessed."
Im gonna send a message to my friends that says something about crunchy eyebrows thank you for this
crunch crunch
“Looking up she saw the man walking away meaning he probably hadn’t noticed her lack of death” is mine
lack of death 💀💀
deathn't
That's genius keep it
Sounds amazing
"Her lack of death" i wonder if she died or she lacking dearh-
‘His plans always went exactly as he planned it, except when they didn’t.’
Feels like I could have phrased that way better than I did.
nah I like that
No this is perfect
“His plans, for the most part, we’re highly successful. He hadn’t a doubt in his mind that this would be the same.”
Maybe?
"All according to keikaku*"
*translator's note: keikaku means plan
@@-0m3rcy0-8 I changed it to
"His plans usually played out exactly as he had intended. Sadly, this was not one of those occasions."
It works for the stick-up-his-ass attitude the character has
I once wrote a comedic short story, and it is my masterpiece. This is my favorite part:
“Happy new deer!” I called from outside the house.
The door opened. “Don’t you mean new year?”
I led the deer inside. “No I did not.”
YOU DIDNT EVEN SPELL IT RI
i mean this in the best way possible, that is a disney channel joke
@@starlesscitiess YES
that reminds me of the "change is inedible" joke
@@c0zmozysdear and deer are different words
“Eleanor had been an eldest sister for nearly all of her life, save for a brief period of time at the beginning when she’d been merely an only daughter.”
I didn’t feel like revising it so I just wrote the whole story in a Lemony Snicket tone
It's either Lemony Snicket or Terry Patchett, but both are acceptable.
I was thinking that about a few of the submissions in the video, like a lot of them COULD be lines from a Terry Pratchett or Lemony Snicket book, but they’d have to commit to that lmfao
My best worst is “I’m not quite sure of who I am, but I can assure I did not break into your house.”
Golden
My god I would write that, and probably will
Keep that in whatever it's in.
Um I need to know the context of this
Please keep it.
That's an Ace Attorney line if I ever saw one.
Once at school, when we were studying Fathers and Sons, we had a writing task. We had to write a diary from the perspective of the main character. We had two periods to do it. I absolutely suck at any sort of creative writing, so, for the whole time, the only thing that I managed to string together was "I, Bazarov, have arrived"
It's got action, character, a message, sticks to the theme, speaks clearly and succinctly. You've covered all your bases✔
I think that you've captured what an internal monologue of Bazarov would sound like
You mat not know this but that is literally the greatest written line in the history of ever
I love this so much.
this is amazing
I wrote “friggity froggity Fuck! I’m late!” for my main characters dialogue. I was tired and let my anxiety and depression write for me. It’s a gem for me.
That's legitimately the kinda stuff I say irl...
This comment section is golden.
The fact that I know a character th *at would obviously definitely actually say that!*
That's the type of stuff I say 😭😭
I genuinely go around saying stuff like "what the flipping flip flops" or "scrumpdiddlyumtious" or "you dang darn dilly ding worm" or "you dingleberry" 😭😭😭
There's way more things like that too-
Well if a character talked like that on a regular basis I think I'd be sold
"In my yard I have two trees. One is a date tree. The other also, is a date tree. I have two date trees. I hate dates. I was born into a household of date loving freaks. This is my story."
I've done something like this before whilst working on a short story. The main character lives in Idaho, and I start off by introducing her as someone who hates everything about potatoes while being surrounded by them constantly (Because that made her quirky? I guess?)
Anyway, by the next chapter, I revealed that oh yeah she actually had a sister that died very tragically not too long ago and actually her aunt is in the hospital now lolll
@@organizer.spaztasticc3541 her sister and aunt were both injured in tragic potato accidents I’m assuming?
@@grumpydumpling6309 I wish, that's WAY better than what I'd originally come up with XD
This sounds like a weirdly tame episode of Law and Order:SVU lmao. I heard the noise at the end. 😂
The two date trees line is actually from a very famous Chinese Writer/Critic/Revolutionist from early 20th century named Lu Xun（鲁迅）. It’s the opening line of one of his articles, named 《秋夜》 or An Autumn Night. It’s one of those things that show up in textbooks of middle school literature classes nowadays, and it’s since become a well known meme of the Chinese internet amongst the younger generation.
Everytime I feel bad about my writing, I remember my favorite line from the entire Twilight series.
" Aro started to laugh, "ha ha ha," he chuckled. " -Actual sentence written by Stephanie Meyer in New Moon.
Also the whole "cheetah girls" books
Honestly I've read better fanfics more than I have actual books, it surprises me what actually gets published sometimes 💀💀
I’m sorry but in such a hyped-up series (I’ve never read Twilight) that is really depressing
There it is, was looking for that one in the comments haha
I don't remember that line, but I've only read New Moon in Spanish, so maybe the translator fixed it. I have to say, though, the Twilight Saga overall is excellently written. There's a lot to criticize about the content, but the execution is great
Bag of Bags is a great insult actually.
It's funny and it's witty. Beautiful 😂😂😂
Yeah, it implies the person is very shallow and devoid of an interesting inner life.
I and my BFF challenged ourselves to read our cringey fanfiction that we wrote back in elementary. My best awful line was "Their family owned 10,000 hectares of land," because she laughed and asked if this is a president of a small country, not a CEO. (I'm a dumbass when it comes to math.) Her best line is when she didn't know how to describe a fight scene, so she resorted to "kick here, kick there, kick everywhere". 'Twas very poetic.
how to make manslaughter cute-
a ded here,ded there,ded everywhere
@@suhana-78 LMAO 😭
@@suhana-78 lol
@@suhana-78 you forgot UwU at the end
with a kick-kick here and a kick-kick there, kick here, kick there, everywhere is kick-kick
“..and in that moment, much like a corpse, he couldn’t breathe.” Had me rolling
finish it with "because now he was a corpse
I'm stealing this
@@Gabriel_JudgeofHell your part too.
I'm stealing this one for my tgcf fanfic, I'm not even joking at this point because like half the characters are dead in like the first time you read about them are dead
When I was in middle school I vividly remember my mom-who was reviewing my essay for creative writing- saying “There was an oddly normal sized window, it must have been put there by the people who built it!” Describing the inside of a dragon’s tower. I still laugh at it to this day
This sentence is wonderfully absurd and more people need to read it
@@redpepper74 agreed
"It must have been put there by the people who built it" lmao
Is that a yippee-sona?!
@@peter_kitsunebest part was that he came to the conclusion based off a “normal sized” window
I once wrote a mermaid transform scene when I was like 12, and ended up describing legs this really horrific way (It’s translated from my first language, but this is very much still how it sounded in Swedish). And people wonder why I never show anyone my WIPs.
“The orange scales that covered her whole fin slowly started to pull themselves into her fin and left a light skinned area of skin behind under. Her fin split itself into two, bony limbs that stretched themselves long over the cave’s rifled ground with each ending in a movable stump.”
_Stumps._ I guess she canonically doesn’t have toes.
I mean- tbh that's a perfect way to describe legs when you're a mermaid who doesn't know what legs are
I'm gonna screenshot this now~
@@itsgirlcraft5842 yeah that was my thought process too behind why I wrote it lol. It definitely could work, pretty well too, but man was it disturbing to read back
Can I read the text in Swedish please? (Är också en svenne)
@@Maybe_youre_quicksand yeah sure
"De orangea fjällen som täckte hela hennes fena började sakta dra sig inåt och lämnade en ljushyad yta av hud kvar under. Hennes fena delade sig själv i två beniga lämmar som sträckte sig långa över grottans räfflade underlag där vardera slutade i en rörlig stump."
what kinda fic were you going for, I feel like this would fit some genres
I was writing this fic mainly as crack, but this line of dialogue-
"Huh. A secret elevator that goes to some secret base, probably. Cool. Very cool. Very secret."
That’s actually amazing
This sounds like something Wheatley would say in portal 2
I feel Stanley Parable vibes
sounds like a line from homestar runner
Sounds like Jake Peralta. 🤷
My personal best-worsts that I dug out of a document from three years ago
“I’ve got a good feeling about this and that can’t be good”
“Forget forgetting and get to getting”
“Why do you feel so proud when you manage to remember what day of the week it is”
I love all of these, especially the second one 😂
“Forget forgetting and get to getting” is *poetic* and I actually love it
Relatable
Im bprrowing the second one from you and putting that line somewhere in my fic, (if your okay with it ofcourse!)
@@-Dark_Shadow- yo OFCC I’m honored- send me ur username + the title so I can read ur work when it’s published (if u don’t mind) 😭
I am aware that nobodies first draft is perfect, but I uncontrollably cringe when I think about some of the overly descriptive things that I’ve written while trying to be serious💀.
Still remembering the time I vividly described the murder of a man
Don’t be shy, tell us what you wrote in the first draft
IKR ESPECIALLY WHEN I DESCRIBED CHARACTERS I LIKED AJBFKSHBDKHFBGKHBE:AJBNRISBD FLSEG
same💀💀💀
I GO WEIRDLY SPECIFIC WHEN I GET TO ANGSTY STUFF SO REAL
(im actually working on a fic rn. its ih. 1 chapter but like whatever)
wrote this at 3 in the morning:
"dont do that, you'll turn Canadian." was my characters response to her friend who kept saying sorry over and over again.
I see no problem with this as a Canadian
Legendary line. Please tell me you kept this in.
And please tell me the name of this😭😭
😂😂
Waiting for someone to say this to me to distract me when I get stuck in a spiral of apologizing 😭
"his brain had space for nothing but c o o k i e, he was starting to think it was actually turning into one." And "the kitchen looked a lot like the Great British Bake Off itself had projectile vomited all over it."
Two amazingly terrible lines from the same chapter.
THE SECOND SENTENCE!!! AAAAHHHAHAHAHHAAH XDDDDD
head empty, only *c o o k i e*
did cookie monster possess you
Please give me this wonderous work of wordsmithery. I need to read it or my soul will crumble in despair.
I love the second line xD
“He stripped like one of those straight boys debone fish” and “a plastic bag that would’ve made Katy Perry jealous” and these two still make me giggle, though they are nothing compared to Mx Tupper Ware tbh
Glorious
I’m stealing the Katy Perry one /hj
“One of those straight boys” I will use this phrase at least once an hour every day until I die
I don't know if it's the best or the worst thing I've ever written, but "And either way, he wasn't going to disembowel himself. He was sure he didn't have the, well, he didn't have the guts" is certainly...up there.
(I don't have any context for this, it just popped up in my brain randomly).
Sounds like something I'd write lmao
This is perfect.
@@garlicsalt9924 Thank you!
best one
@@Elliyan4 i'm honored
"Her emotions made it impossible to control her emotions."
I posted this lovely disaster of a statement.
I was so tired but I think I had meant to say "Her emotions made it impossible to control her powers."
i mean…
it’s true.
Sometimes emotions be like that
@@larafinocchiaro3716 fr
Big mood
I've been there
One time I described a hug as if I were writing an essay.
“Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke, and began to squeeze. This action is commonly referred to as a hug.”
Edit: THE ORIGINAL EXCERPT IS ACTUALLY WAY FUNNIER BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MORE VERBOSE AND SELF AWARE "Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke's body, and proceeded to pull his arms inward, which ended up squeezing Hawke a slight bit. This action could easily be described as a hug."
Did Lemony Snickett posses you?
@@daynamorris2399 the majority of the lines in this video and comment section would indeed work as a Lemony Snicket quote.
@@dearmalaysia and rick riordan
Lmao
@@daynamorris2399 perhaps
I mainly write sacrilege and dark comedy, so irony is kind of my thing, and I was losing it this entire video. All of these have a place in the right genre. I have laughed to tears reading abominations far worse than these and have deliberately written worse myself. It's fucking brilliant. I will die on this mountain
Same here
Except I have no idea what my genre is other than a lot of it has a few common things like lack of permanent death and body horror
@@itsgirlcraft5842 Sounds fantastic. I'm in.
@@itsgirlcraft5842
Sounds like the perfect genre for a necromancer
@@randomtraveler4149 I actually haven't considered this, t h a n k s
@@itsgirlcraft5842
No problem 👍
"the calm composure of a corpse" is actually really effective, depending on the context
I stopped writing a while ago because it made me cringe so hard looking back at my first drafts, but knowing now that this is normal, maybe I'll try again. This was HILARIOUS btw.
Edit: tysm for the encouragement you guys!! It's been nearly a year since I made this comment, but I got back into writing again. Rewriting lore and making a new draft!
If you end up writing again, remember that you don't need to make it good but just something that's fun to write :)
First drafts are always shitty, lol.
If you don’t cringe at your first drafts, you’re probably doing something wrong
@@logtheghost *B R U H*
my first draft always ends up being better than the final product
*Visible confusion*
@@noursama_the_old that seems like an over-editing problem. Maybe have someone else read over your first drafts and see what they would correct. Can be helpful to have that outside perspective.
Two teenage girls in a superhero story I’m workshopping:
Girl one: (raising an eye brow and smirking) what, you think I’ve never pulled a bullet out of someone before?
Girl two, absolutely horrified: THAT WAS MY ASSUMPTION, YEAH
Edit: in hindsight, what makes this even better is that it’s Girl 2 who’s the superhero😂
That's great
love it!
KEEP THAT IN
Brilliant
ok that's fucking hilarious
I am a writer, yes, but my most cursed lines are stuff I have ACTUALLY SAID, so, I give you, "You can't tell anyone your middle name or it won't come true." "The real salad dressing is the friends we made along the way." "Beautiful but fatal, like a chaos hippie"
I was talking about a scene in Hamilton where there's no reason for King George to be on stage but he's there and strutting around like a chaos chicken
I genuinely would love to read the book that concludes "the real salad dressing is the friends we made along the way."
If the real salad dressing is the friends we made along the way…
Then it sure isn’t a Caesar Salad.
*(BA DUM TSS)*
@@cameronspencer9619 _"ET TU, CAMERONSPENCER9619?!"_
@@cameronspencer9619 NO
" Paper mache was stronger than his will to live," My best 3AM line tbh. The others are more like the lyrics of Spongebob theme song written like Old English.
I would pay to read/hear the Spongebob theme song written in Old English (also that line is gold)
I'm paying what Jelly Anya is paying
ME
Here is my best worst: "After hearing
That's really freaking funny and also actually made me imagine a ghost head just casually clipping through their own body
thats actually amazing
I unironicaly love this
How about: “At these words, turned his head downwards. It kept turning, until his eyes could fix on , his neck bent at an angle that would have killed him had he not already been dead, and (at least this was what it looked like to ) his face upside down and clipping like a glitchy video game character through his back.”
@@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108 Oh, that sounds great! Thanks for the advice.
I was re-reading an old story of mine the other day and came across the beautiful line;
'her voice was like silk, but deadly silk'
I still haven't forgiven past me.
I tend to either come up with nonsense or really specific analogies when I'm tired and I'd had a long day yesterday so I described my state of mind as being exhausted as Alexander Hamilton when he got blackmailed into having an affair by James Reynolds
@@daynamorris2399 I love how specific that is haha.
Well, any silk is deadly if you wrap it around your neck and pull hard enough...
@@lucienzothesmallerone that was unexpected
Weirdly enough, I read this exact concept in a fanfic last week and it was one of the best lines 😂:
‘Careful,’ the ex-Templar whispered like silk over a razor blade. ‘We wouldn’t want you hurt, would we?’
I found this gem like a week ago in the depths of my abandoned Word documents.
"He was confused, and asked the gods why they weren't acknowledging the death of the fire elves. The gods were confused and sent him away, thinking he was just overworked and confused."
I have a bad habit of writing at night.
Edit:
Oh, I also once described a character's voice as "like a British accent but without the accent".
Edit #2: Just remembered that once I forgot the word "shot" while writing and instead wrote that some guy died by getting hit in the head with a gun. Not even by a bullet, just had an unloaded gun thrown at him like a frisbee. I thought it was funny so I kept it in.
Honestly I feel like a lot of people have British accent minus the accent voices
@@larafinocchiaro3716 wat
Perfect. He speaks in a flowery way and he feels like he should be a brit but he's just. Not.
My firts thought was "so no voice?" While lol-ing
So everyone was confused…
“Then he screamed, fell over, and made a desperate attempt to skitter away from himself-which failed miserably, as that is not possible.”
I wrote this yesterday. Personally, I still think that’s a reasonable reaction to finding out your hair is glowing like you’re Rapunzel, especially when you are a 14-year-old boy and definitely not Rapunzel.
that's actually a great line i could perfectly imagine his reaction from it
i love tbe word skitter especially in this tupe of context
"And just like that, all attraction I felt towards him flew out the window and was eaten by a seagull"
"But because she was the spinal equivalent of a chocolate eclair, she said yes, of course." I deserve to be put down for this
If you meant "she doesnt have the courage to tell people no" know that this is exactly what came to my mind immediately
@@hairohukosu433 that makes me so happy
you deserve to be put UP on a pedestal for this. that's incredible
this is amazing😭 as a fellow people pleaser i'm very happy to be described as the spinal equivalent of a chocolate eclair
WAS THIS IN A FIC BECAUSE I SWEAR I REMEMBER READING THIS ??
“She had *already* returned to bed *already* and was *already* sound asleep.”
I then decided it was time for me to go to bed, too.
I hate realising I’ve done something like that omfg
“Killed to death” will always be my favourite. I can imagine myself writing that
All I remember is that one Roblox video where this one guy says "YOUR GOING TO KILL HIM TO DEATH" and the RUclipsr just reacting with pure confusion for a few seconds
That line kills me to death
@@Justin-ul7fhalbertsstuff?
Reminds me of the time I was playing Doom Eternal and I yelled "I'm going to kill you to death!", and then spent a few minutes laughing after i realized what I had just said.
“That would kill me to death” is a line from _The Martian._
“Who do you think I am? Of course I don’t pre-record my polite coughs, they’re procedurally generated.”
this character is a cyborg who has no respiratory system
“But it was the only thing resembling a real house, so he affectionately called it his window.”
One time, I wrote a scene for a horror comic I wanted to make, and when I read the script aloud, my mom called me out for writing this:
"Police [1]: Umm... I think I heard something.
Police [2]: Don't worry, you just must've heard something."
After that, I was laughing for hours on end
THIS TOOK ME OUT
this sure is me when i hear something
i'm laughing my ass off too this is amazing😭😭
I can imagine this working in the sense of "Hey, I'm not really paying attention to what you're saying right now, but I need to respond otherwise you'll _know_ I'm not paying attention," and they still manage to mess it up.
this feels like if john & jack from spooky month were in a more typical sr pelo series
A lot of these are just gold, I would love to see them used unironically
"the thousand year war had been going on for just under a thousand years." Is the kind of line a young adult novel would use.
I could see someone like Percy Jackson explaining that "a lot of the generals in the war like to round up. so most of us have adopted the name even though it's not really accurate."
@@UJEvans "they were at around... I dunno, 800 years? And they thought, yeah dying and slaughter and everything is bad but, let's see if we can reach the thousands, the name would sound a lot cooler in the future. We're gonna die anyway so let's make our legacy sweet to the ear"
This is an advantage of writing light-hearted and goofy things. You can use lines like these and the "Wut?"-ness of them is just another joke.
Honestly depending on the rest of narration style some of these could really work. Like the one overdramatically calling a receptionist an unthanked warrior. And I was feeling anxiety with the person late to school so that worked lol. Oh and the calm composure of a corpse one could certainly work amazingly
I thought the same thing about "trashy majesty". It just comes across as exquisitely sardonic to me.
@@Starlight-Tale yes lol
Yes, I cant think of any sentences off the top of my head, but I've read some stories where the writing style is like some of these and made me laugh just from how the author worded (or how the character thought, since it was in their view) things
it'd be even better if a corpse was also strapped on to the tree with her, so she has a direct point of reference
My thoughts exactly! I personally really loved the thousand year war one, instantly sounded like a sarcastic narrator to me
I wrote a fantasy story when I was 12 where I came up with 3 different names for the same location. This is because I would get to a certain point, think “have I actually mentioned or named this town yet?” and come up with the entirely incorrect answer of no, I hadn’t named it at all. I later was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD which I think explains a lot
Use a story planner, it'll probably help
Some of these lines wouldn't actually be so bad in a comedy context. Redundancy can work as a form of humor when done properly and trashy majesty is honestly pretty brilliant.
"It took Miles a few moments to realise, but it really was the paper talking. And even worse, he recognised the voice. And it seemed the paper recognised him too."
This is from a draft of a crack fic that I wrote at like 3 am while being in a car and really tired, and I will probably never finish it
That honestly sounds like a comfort crack fic I'd write lol
BUT WHICH MILES, ICH BINS, WHICH MILES? THE ACE ATTORNEY ONE OR THE SONIC ONE?!
@@Justin-ul7fh the Ace Attorney one
Honestly, I have no explanation for this except that I was really tired and remembered a weird dream I had a few months prior
@@zwanzigzwanzig Interestingly... this could fit also fit Miles from The Candymakers. There must be something about Miles's that makes them prime targets for talking paper
@@TheFansOfFiction idk why, but i really feel like this could work for miles morales
Mine: "I felt the bubbly nervousness in the stomach one feels at the top of a rollercoaster right before the big drop"
Because using 21 words is way better than just saying "My stomach fluttered" or something
that’s actually not a bad line! it’ll obviously depend in context, but don’t be so hard on yourself! that is a good line!
@@rookm1270 Thanks haha 😅
Honestly sometimes it's better to be over descriptive depending on context
If you want the reader to know exactly what the character is feeling or anything like that, maybe the scene is supposed to make the reader anxious as well, then describing rather than just saying it can help invoke that feeling
I think that's a really interesting line! We've all heard the sentence "my stomach fluttered" a thousand times, your line is full of personality and the reader can grasp the feeling it conveys so easily! Imo it's a great line 😫👌💖
@@blockofgrass7928 Aw tysm 💖 I just thought it was a mouthful lol
“It’s like a reward for not dying in the desert.”
-One of my characters while eating a meal
I wrote this at around 9pm
“What.. what happened to you?”
“Italy,”
-a conversation between the same character and her friend she hadn’t seen for 10 years
These are both great, I hope you know that
@@FishWithOneEye “What happened to you?”
“Italy”
-Polnareff
@@gavinbrown216 LMAO even better the story was based in the JJBA universe
@@FishWithOneEye does this mean that the first quote is referring to a Devil’s Palm?
i once wrote “how the turn tables” in a fanfic and it took be about a week to realize that was not how the saying is supposed to go
Well, it's now an Office reference
"The arena was full of loud shouting, because people were yelling."
Oh my goodness 😭
LMAO
so here's mine, this was a line i wrote while running off of three hours of sleep and after a long day of school
“Well I’m glad you two had fun, I’d better get back to beating Kylear at this game before he starts pondering his own existence.” Vhesilla said, going back to her spot on the couch. She set down a single card, causing Kylear to cry out in frustration. She was guessing that the lesser demon had lost again.
Context?? Please?? 😂
@@DiaMonD_KUROI ^^^
Wait what's actually wrong with this
@@itz_koki now that i'm re-reading it, i have no idea, but my sleep schedual has not improved in the last six months and it is currently two fourty am, so im still sleep deprived
@@catastrophicfailure2745 wait wtf sameee
So I wrote an entire scene (I'm talking a good several hundred words) and it got deleted. I loved this scene because there was a really sweet bonding moment and one of the characters was taking his rage towards an impossibly hopeless and scary situation out on a small video game character and giving it a proper scolding. Like, it was sweet, funny, and cathartic after a massive loss. I wrote this at 3am and thought "Wow! I knew I did well writing late, but this is really solid! Who needs sleep anyway?"
So, why was it deleted then? Did I forget that I made it a major plot point that the evil goonies could track basically any electronics and the fact that they were playing a mobile game would completely reveal their location? No actually. I wanted that to happen and I knew these characters didn't know better. No, my issue was more stupid than that.
My issue was that there were characters who DID know about the tracking problem and were sitting a stone's throw away. Yup. I forgot my mentor characters had ears, could hear the entire thing, and would have certainly stopped the entire thing from happening. I spent HOURS on that scene and now I have a habit of doing a periodic headcount of all my characters when writing. Lol
Seems like a job for _insert arbitrary reason why the characters have to go elsewhere_
At that point, you either ignore the plothole or shoe-horn in a fix. The value of the great scene you wrote can outweigh the weight of logic
-- signed, the person who loudly nitpicks movies
Something like that happened to me once. I had a character become a double agent and spill a bunch of the underground government’s secrets, telling the leader of the resistance that she had physical proof of her words… and then the leader who has a reputation for being a million steps ahead of everyone else proceeds to not ask for the proof.
i mean, if you try hard enough, a stone’s throw can be far away
It's moments like these I bust out "He started to feel like a preheated microwave"
“But the tree remained immobile.”
I honestly don’t remember how this sentence came to be, but now I purposely incorporate it into every new story I write 😀
I've never seen a tree move to be fair
@@daynamorris2399really? It's a very common sight over here!
I’m writing a second book right now. I was pretty proud of describing a microwaved cup of coffee “ an unsavory cup of disappointment “
Only, coffee tastes like coffee no matter how you cook it. So there’s that.
So I added that he used powdered creamer and dropped his cup onto the floor because I’m still proud of that line.
Maybe it's just my autism, but microwave coffee actually sucks. It really does affect the flavor.
@@turntechgodhead1975its not your autism, it literally makes it taste watered down
Nah, like....how you make the coffee matters. It could especially matter to the POV of the character in question, and paint either them or the narrator as being persnickety about coffee.
every coffee "aficionado" collectively recoiled
I hate coffee either way, so that line is perfect!
Best one I ever wrote was: "His fingers were burnt red, gone alllll nice and toasty." Evidently, I was a little sleep-deprived whilst writing XD
Yes I'm late but man, that was too hilarious to ignore.
"..All niCe and tOAstY"
I wish I was less of a perfectionist so I could let myself write first drafts like this
I mean I even revised the wording of this reply before posting it :(
I read a really bad rough draft of a story I wrote in 6th grade.
One line said "she was skinnier that a starved homeless cat, probably cause she was starved and homeless. " it was from the perspective of a rude girl. She really insulted this girl so much. It was beautiful
If you want context, imagine stranger Things season 1 meets mean girls. That was the story I was writing. It was really bad but good memories of an edgy middle schooler.
my best, which got through two beta readers, was: "I texted him with my phone." no you texted him with your microwave
Sent from Samsung SmartFridge
@@kashiichan thank you i was looking for this exact comment
this works if they have multiple ways of texting. For example, telepathy.
I have written many an interesting line, but none have ever stuck with me like the time I tried describing my protagonist's conflicted feelings over a McGuffin:
"A wiseman would've put it back, but I was neither wise nor a man."
a friend of mine once wrote in an essay “it’s uniqueness made it unique”. not as funny as some other things here, but thought i’d share.
Once i was writing late at night, sleep deprived, and i woke up the next day to *this*
“The baby frowned like a baby who was frowning.”
My best / worst line I’ve ever written:
“I’m made up of screws, bolts, and very unwilling donors!”
If anyone wants the context let me know
IM SORRY WHAT- YES IM GONNA NEED THE CONTEXT
What are you talking about? That's artistry!
I LOVE IT SO MUCH PLEASE ELABORATE
I hope the context is Frankenstein's monster having a mid-life crisis
WHERE'S THE CONTEXT I'm very curious now
Also, tried to begin a time-travel fic with this punchline right here : "The hero's journey began with a single step, followed by a poorly timed sneeze that sent him tumbling down the stairs to meet destiny."
I would read this fr
6:05 The calm composure of a corpse? That actually has a nice ring to it. Good alliteration.
This line always makes my sister laugh: "His kind brown eyes melted into hers like chocolate chips into a freshly-baked cookie."
Not the worst line I've written; I've got plenty of stuff from when I was a teenager I could dig through if I had the patience. But I wrote THAT sucker in 2020, and it is the first line that comes to my head when I see something like "best worst line you've written".
I mean, that's a good descriptor imo. It's similar to "his chocolaty eyes melted into hers," but sounds much better. Especially since what I wrote could be interpreted that his eyes are literally chocolate
nah that gave me freaky acid trip images that I really wish I could give back
I’ve got half of a line from when I was 12 and thought I was a master at writing romance: “…and it seemed to become a competition as to who could kiss with more passion”
😐 I didn’t know even slightly how kissing worked, so I don’t even wanna begin talking about what the rest of those descriptions looked like
I still continue to label a character’s eyelids as “crusty” after they had just woken up, and I absolutely love it
I mean, it's not like that description would be wrong
Update: Found a funny line in my late-night literature but I’m keeping it 👍
“But he was so, so wrong. So wrong that he could’ve made a war criminal look right, god damn it.”
Something about this is making me feel like I take my writing too seriously. The best I have to offer is the specific descriptor of "mid-range cologne" (I didn't feel like the character was enough of a wreck to wear cheap cologne, yet he certainly couldn't afford anything expensive, hence:)
Edit: maybe "I glare nonchalantly" counts??? XD (not nessesarily a mistake, it very much fits the tone I'm going for)
This was actually great characterisation, I love little specific things like this that tell a lot about the characters and places
@@silverish9081 Same. I mostly do this with my unused DnD characters, and maybe go a bit overboard sometimes, but those little things are what drives home that the person is "real."
Mine is, "The pale ghost went pale, she looked as if she's seen a ghost." Yeah, this was written at around 4:30am a couple days ago.
did she look at herself in a mirror
i have an ugly amount of drafts for this one project and the first one gets progressively worse
Don't be shy share the worst
my favorite line ive written is 'she stood aside and watched the drama unfold like a low budget sitcom'
Get yoinked.
??? ok@@Hurricane_Tortilla_yt
@@kills4turn I'm stealing your line for my own story.
This has been a robbery!
Im also stealing this have a good day
i once wrote the line "flowering the waters", sent it to my friend, and they then proceeded to see nothing wrong with it at first
it was very late at night in our defense
"I can't believe I have tapeworms."
It was a placeholder
I was reading over an essay I had to write, and stumbled upon "This advantage gave them a huge advantage,"
The “bag full of bags” one is brilliant 👌🏻
Some of these could be good lines if used by the right character in the right situation though. Mostly by a comic relief sort of character, but still
I once wrote-
'He felt as disgusting as a pair of wet socks."
Lmfao. What was i thinking.
Wet socks are pretty gross in all fairness
Not in a fanfic, but recently I wrote “The world’s changing faster than a chicken nugget in a deep frier.”
Well, it is
“The hum of the cannon seems even louder, if possible, than the last time, like a million bees opposed to a mere thousand.” and it was so funny that i just kept it in the final
“I hate you as much as I hate my life, maybe a bit more”
This one is phenomenal, I love it, lmao!
Sounds powerful
It came to my head when I was sleepy and I still don't know what this was supposed to mean:
"She's the most delicate decoration anyone has ever seen"
Sounds cute. Seems like the character was turned into a doll or a decoration object of some sort. But as you labeled the sentence as weird, I think the context was different from what I said 😂
@@saturnas there was no context, I was just going to sleep and thought about that
I wasn't even writing, so, yeah- that's why I said it was weird
@@kieranotanuki I think it hits too close to home for me bc I can recall a couple dreams where I was a decoration object on a shelf 😂 so this concept doesn't feel weird at all
"He pulled on his bulletproof clothes that were black and bulletproof"
basically anything weve ever written fits into this but sometimes we make a typo & accidentally keep going w the typo. for example, the sentence we were trying to write was "he immediately shot down the idea" but we accidentally wrote shit instead of shot & kept going w it, so the sentence came out as "he immediately shit his pants"
this almost killed me
"hey, let's get lunch! i know a good thai place down the street."
he immediately shat his pants. "sorry, no good. 'm allergic."
"She ran her fingers through her hair with her hair in her fingers with her fingers"
I don't know what possessed me that night.
Hundun from the Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness TV Series.
One of my best-worst lines (which I intend to keep in the finished product) goes thusly:
"Well, twenty-four shots of espresso a day keep the nightmares away so we pick our battles."
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Edit: Almost forgot this gem of an exchange.
“I have a bit of a question.” they started.
“Go ahead.” Ace prompted with a slight nod.
“How would you feel if I said, theoretically, I’ve currently got a friend staying here in the mansion?” they asked. The hero considered for a moment.
“Depends on the circumstance. Why would this theoretical friend be here in the first place?” they asked. Charlie considered how to word it.
“Say, theoretically, the hypothetical friend recently escaped from a violently abusive partner and he needed a place to stay. What of that, hypothetically speaking?” they continued.
“I’d say that’s fair.” Ace said with a slight nod. They took a deep breath.
“Okay, and what if, hypothetically in theory, this theoretical friend just so happened to be the villain who shot you last year?” they asked quickly. The hero turned to face them slowly.
“Charlie, is there something you’re not telling me?” they asked. Charlie glanced away, and began fiddling with their scarf.
“...Hypothetically.”
Hypothetically and Theoretically were used so much-
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Edit II: Just found this while editing an older draft of mine and:
"No, this is perfect," he breathed breathlessly.
Needless to say romance is not my forte.
This is so good what
The second one feels *exactly* as awkward as I'd imagine it to be with the overused words lol
Haha are you sure you weren't just writing Ben Shapiro?