Why Do Kids Have Their Own Bedrooms?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 янв 2018
- Viewers like you help make PBS (Thank you 😃) . Support your local PBS Member Station here: to.pbs.org/DonateORIG
Subscribe to Origin of Everything! bit.ly/originsub
“Go To Your Room!” might be the most well known parental demand in America, but why do kids have their own sleeping area at all? It's a good question. Because while a bedroom might just seem like a “normal” thing for people who can afford a certain amount of living space, the history of separate sleeping spaces is actually the weird result of European colonialism, standardized clocks, Victorian modesty and post-war Suburban expansion.
Do you enjoy the show? The check us out on:
Like our Facebook Page: / pbsoriginofe. .
Instagram: @pbsoriginofeverything
Written and Hosted By: Danielle Bainbridge
Graphics By: Noelle Smith
Directed By: Andrew Kornhaber
Produced By: Kornhaber Brown (www.kornhaberbrown.com)
Works Cited:
On Kids Rooms and Sleeping Practices Across Cultures:
www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/...
Wild Nights: How Taming Sleep Created Our Restless World Benjamin Reiss
www.atlasobscura.com/articles...
If Walls Could Talk: An Intimate History of the Home Lucy Worsley
academic.oup.com/jdh/article-...
www.cbc.ca/news/health/more-co...
drcolleencarney.com/
Sleep Around the World: anthropological perspectives edited by Katie Glaskin and Richard Chenhall.
On the energy required to power modern structures and homes:
• Renewable energy is wa...
• Can You Power A House ...
More on MLK Jr. Day
nhpr.org/post/nhs-martin-luthe...
www.timeanddate.com/holidays/...
www.nh.gov/nhinfo/fast.html
I was 17 and shared a room with my grandmother who had just moved in with us because of a heart attack. It is one of my fondest memories with her staying up late talking about boys and the world 🌎.
omg thats such a nice memoryyy i wish i had :)))
That is so cool.
What a gem i bet she gave good advice
❤️❤️
maravilloso
... and most importantly so children wouldn't have to experience their parents having intercourse a couple feet away from them.
@boom boom I’ve read someone from Thailand say that as a child she woke up to her parents having sex as a child (since she was sharing their bed). My assumption is that was a common occurrence and still is where the practice continues.
I saw a documentary years ago about native Americans. The family unit slept in one tent/tepee. The children learned about sex from hearing or watching their parents. It wasn’t considered anything bad. Just natural education passed down to the kids.
For us, it’s gross to think of our parents doing the deed, lol. But, I think we’ve lost something when we as parents are made to feel guilty or hide our affection for each other. Most American kids can’t handle watching their parents kiss!
Saying all this... I loved having my own room as a child!! And, I frequently make my husband sleep in our guest room because he snores! If I had a bat... I would have bludgeoned him to death already! 😬
🤱🤱🤱
Wow, as if bedrooms and night time were the only place and time where sex could be happening.
Well, with attachment parenting gaining popularity, a lot of parents decide to share their bed with their children nowadays. They can go elsewhere when they want to have sex. Isn't it crazy to lock your children out of your bedroom just because you might have sex for 30 minutes every 2-3 days? It's much more logical to do it the other way around: just leave the room while the kids are sleeping.
Can you do an episode about the origin of "how mattress sizes got their name"?
Adam ruin everything. Did bed mattress. Basically company make up their own naming.
Queen big. King extra big.
I wonder about the English names, since in portuguese you have at its basics "single" bed for one person, and "couple" for two people
000
The standard here is 80 single, 120 twin, 160 queen, 180 king, 200 extra king. Bedsheets and bedcovers also come in those sizes. Idk anywhere else.
The 60s TV show "Bewitched" was the first time a husband and wife were depicted sleeping in the same bed on television.
The actual first shared bed on TV
1947-1950, Mary Kay and Johnny, Mary Kay and Johnny
They are mostly forgotten to time, but Mary Kay and Johnny were the pre-Lucy and Ricky. They were married in real life, they had to write Mary Kay’s real pregnancy into the series, and their actual infant son appeared on the show. But perhaps most importantly, theirs was the first - and for a long time, one of the very few - TV shows that let its married partners sleep in the same bed.
I thought the Brady Bunch was the first to do that?
@@yoshig5278 yeah it definitely was the Brady Bunch...
Ive heard it was The Munsters
Seems like the answer to "Why are Westerners so weird about X?" is always the Victorians.
Capitalism, slavery or the world wars are also often good guesses.
Shaeress Well, there is no doubt those things have a huge impact in ours today's lifestyle.
In regards to Americans, it's Puritans and Evangelicals.
Puritans first, then Victorian ideas merging with Puritan, then the resurgence of Puritan-Victorian ideas with "modern" fundamentalism, aka Evangelicals. The authoritarian side of American morality has had several supporting ideologies in succession over the years. Today it seems to be an anti-rational attitude, which has branched out into flat-earthism, climate change denial, overpopulation denial, and young Earth creationism, all of which also lend some support to racism and xenophobia. Hence Pence and Trump.
You forgot the SE.....
As a frequent user of hostels, albergues and backpackers, I can say that loud snorers are a discouragement to communal sleeping.
How can you "use" a backpacker? A backpacker is someone who hikes in the mountains or wilderness and camps out overnight for one or more nights. (I do that all the time actually, heh.)
People can't help it though
In New Zealand & Australia Hostels are called Backpackers.
happygacefries yeah I'm a snorer too.
Sorry for snoring. I was a hostel sleeper who snored like a storm. Had people waking me because of it lol.
I’m not so sure if 1800’s Europe is the best example to look at when it comes to healthy living...
They had communal toilets back then too. Oh the folly of modern society!
Because as an introvert if I did not have my room of solidarity I'd go insane
Maybe if you didn't have your own room you'd not be an introvert?
@@omusaatsawatuukha2513 Nah, I've always shared my bedroom and I'm still an introvert.
Same
That is because you are a spoiled brat
Do you mean to say the word “solitude”? Solidarity is what people have when they sympathize to each or when they work toward a common goal. In prisons they have “solitary confinement”. Solitary is an adjective but I guess can be used incorrectly as “the solitary”. Noun form of that is solitude. For example Superman has his Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic.
I sleep separate from my partner who I've been with for nearly 4 years. He snores, I kick, we like different bedtimes. It makes sense to be apart at least half the night. The cat bunks with me though!
Ru Raynor are you sure it is a good idea? I find that a bit sad. Most men snore and you probably do not kick all the time. My partner also has different bed times and snores, but that never really wakes me up and sharing a bed makes our bond stronger.
TheRimbaldine Snoring is a sign of something worse - "most men" don't snore. Media shows snoring as sleeping, though, so you probably made that connection.
There is nothing sad about sleeping separately - and the fact you look down upon someone for how they sleep is ridiculous. What's good for you is not good for everyone.
TheRimbaldine
Why would that be sad? There are many couples that sleep in separate beds. Many say it makes their bond stronger.
Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it does't work fr others.
It's not sad. I'm a better happier person when I sleep.
I've insomnia and restless leg syndrome which means I sleep very light and I move ALOT. I mean the sheets on his side look brand new which the same sheet on my side looks thread bare and 20 years old. I move.constantly.
He also snores, COPD brought on by lifelong asthma that wasn't treated half his life.
4 years ago he started working a day job. (i've a night job) so we sleep alone now.
Best.sleep.ever. for both of us.
Happier, healthier. our relationship is stronger than ever.
I think more couple should go back to having their own beds, it might help.
@@Melissa-wx4lu that's pretty similar to us. He snores because he smokes (which is another reason I have my own bedroom, he likes to smoke in bed), I kick and wake up in the middle of the night talking when I'm anxious.
By having our own spaces, when we come together it's because we really want to. There's no resentment and we each have the space we need.
Before bedrooms think Charlie and the chocolate factory. The first one.
With Grandma's and Grandpas in one big bed.. I remember that. Thought it looked crowded!
Oh yh the rooms were sooo crowded😂😂
There is a pretty strong correlation between life expectancy and the decline of communal sleeping.
The 1971 version is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Megan Gertler yeah thats what came to mind at first
Honestly I’m thankful for my own room, I have terrible anxiety and my room is my safe place to unwind in.
You probably have anxiety because you didn't attach properly early on - people with proper early attachment develop with less anxiety
mfun503 and where did you get your psychology degree from?
I dont have my own room, and have to share a bed with my mom. I am older now..and i hate it so much.
@@__eggy__ omg me too i hate it 🙄 i thought i was the only one 😂😂
@@emistojcevska107 its such a pisstake cuz i actually wanna have privacy ☹
Really go to your room isn't a punishment anymore the punishment now days is to go outside
supercomputer2004 tell me about it! Growing up my neighbor would lock her kids out during the summer months. They came over for water and to use the bathroom. But now that I’m a parent I get it. They eat out of boredom and trash your house everyday!!! GO OUTSIDE LOL
I still send my daughters to their room... without phone. They don't have tv or computer there.
Lorena Alcántara they still have air conditioning correct? And a bed.
😒 They have a bunk bed, toys, some furniture, a doll house... they have a tv (without netflix... so it doesn't exist), they like to play-eat-be at the living room... don't worry, the punishment last like 10 minutes.
Lorena Alcántara then it's not as bad as outside
I use to share a room with my younger brother until I was 10. Then a worker from hhs said siblings of different genders couldn't share rooms. That's when my insomnia started. I couldn't fall asleep and only slept a few hours. I had this problem until I shared a room either with a partner or roommate. If someone is in the same room sleeping with me I have no trouble falling asleep. Hearing them breathing and maybe knowing it's sleeping time helps.
I can totally understand that. Also when you're scared of dark and/or being alone it helps having someone else in the room.
I get siblings of different genders not sleeping in the same bed. That's just common sense and basic privacy. But I see nothing wrong with sharing the same room as long as you guys are in separate beds.
@@DB-th1ux I think there were too many instances of boys sexually abusing their sisters if they shared a room, unfortunately.
@@DB-th1ux Families use to share rooms and beds regardless of gender. They use to only have one room houses and would share living spaces with other families. And some parts of the world they still do. Hyper privacy is a problem of modern society.
Interestingly it was the opposite for me. I slept better in my own room. And now sadly cant sleep with anyone in the same room. I would love the intimacy and the cuddling, but it keeps me up to be next to someone. But I know for others it is reassuring to have someone else in the same room. To each their own as they say.
When I was young, I slept in a big bed with my siblings. When we all got a little older we got bunk beds. But we had a pretty open floorplan, so there wasn't much privacy. I didn't get my own room until I bought my own house. Privacy is the best thing ever! I actually rent out one of the spare rooms to my brother. Having my own bedroom is great, having my own bathroom is even better!
I shared a room with five boys. It's not odd to me to have boys and girls in a room.
I remember thinking this when I had my first child. She slept in a bassinet in my room for a year. Everyone was after me to "put her in her own room." I'd say, when our pre-historic ancestors lived in trees and caves, , do you think they sent their children to sleep away from them so that they could be eaten by whatever wildlife was hungry that night?
If I get married someday, I honestly would like to each of us having our own rooms instead of sharing one. I had to share my room a fair anount of times to know that is not for me. I would rather have my own space with my own stuff, and only sleeping with my spouse when we feel like it. Honestly, I don't know why this seems so absurd to most people I shared this with.
Its sounds weird to me, but I tell people we have separate blankets and they think I'm weird for that. Lol. Gotta do what best for you.
@@bluemark25 Pffff. People will think weird even if you use separated towels. Hahaha. Thanks tho.
If that's how you're most comfortable, do it. For us, shifting to separate rooms made our lives better, and did no harm to the relationship. Our sleep needs are different, and we're both more comfortable having our own spaces. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. They can run their homes and relationships their way. You run yours the way that's best for you.
I would like to do the same
I literally conceived the same idea. I realized that it's absurd to copy others for things of my own life, i am unique, because my requirements, needs are different, i am different, so best solution for me would be different too. So i began developing idea of how i wanna live, & this is what i conceived. It's a bit like roommate for life, or for some period.
I shared a room with my little brother almost until I was 18, my big sister moving out to live with her then boyfriend, now husband. being the catalyst for us two having our own rooms. I have Asperger and I credit having to share a living space with me learning some of the social rules that most peoples instinctively know. I'm not sure if I would have been able to make friends back then without it. The only trouble is that my little brother is 3 years younger than me so I was a bit socially retarded in my teenage years and saw girls my age as being too mature at the same time as seeing younger girls as too immature.
I am not sure if you work in science, research, or academia, but this would make a great research study. Perhaps other children on the spectrum could learn more social skills through more use of shared living spaces. Perhaps just a survey could be made, that asks other people with Aspergers, about their childhood experiences and how well prepared they felt for social interaction as a result.
SlyPearTree, I've never been formally diagnosed, but I did take the standardized test. The result was that I tested on the spectrum and the comment that came along with the test was, "we'd like to talk to you" LOL. In any event. I also credit my socialization with being in close quarters with family. Had I not had more detailed involvement in my understanding things, that are just naturally understood by others, I would not have been able to function well in society. I still struggle. And I often still notice that there are many things others understand mutually and inherently that I am oblivious of.
Im an Aspie too Bro
I'm also an Aspie; I've always had my own room separate from my younger twin sisters' room, but just the fact that I had sisters contributed greatly to my social development. It made me more tolerant and patient of other people, and I learned the joy of helping others (since I'm their big brother).
It most have been easier for you that your brother was younger than you. I can see how it would have made social interactions more leveled between you.
For sleeping patterns, they forgot temperature.
In very hot regions, trust me it makes a lot of sense to stop what your doing and take a nap in the middle of the day.
Some people are just natural loners sleep and otherwise. If I don’t get my time apart from other humans, I can’t function with them, and get depressed and angry a lot easier. I also feel like I start to lose my connection to what’s around me. In reality, I don’t think that humans have ever been fully adapted to having to spend so much time around other humans. That’s why we sometimes crave walks alone, walks in nature, camping. The idea of urbanization and spending so much time with others I think will do humans in. We need time to reconnect to our surroundings and we can mostly only do that by having the peace and quiet that comes with being alone.
We aren't used to being around strangers at all. We are used to close friends/family in evolution but not strangers. Strangers are new.
When i was a kid, my older brother and my younger brother shared a bed until they were aged like 5 and 11ish, then switched to bunks but shared a room. Since my parents sleep together, and As the only daughter, I was the only one in my family that was alone at night and I HATED it. I’m a textbook over thinker and Ive always had a vivid imagination, so I was always so scared at night and so jealous and sad that everyone else got to be with someone except me. It felt very isolating
I shared a bed with my siblings until I was like 13 or 14 (I was the oldest). We all had beds, but we all chose to sleep in the same bed like a pile of puppies because we're mammals. As a "colicky" baby, I slept primarily on my dad's chest until i was almost 2. I still have memories of my sister's crib across from my bed in my room and how reassuring it was to have another person so close to me. I know everyone isn't like this, but I, personally, have always felt more secure with a warm body next to me. The most controversial issue is that of infants sleeping with their parents. I knew I didn't want my baby in another room far from me, and I prepared with a "cosleeper" that buts up to the bed- and I couldn't even make it through the first night like that. I could not sleep until my baby was on my chest. I slept with him like that for 6 months, and then put him on a pillow between my husband and me. He then graduated to just sleeping between us, then to sleeping in his own bed but coming to get into or bed in the wee hours; he is almost 7. I learned subsequently that studies have shown that cosleeping helps "teach" infants' hearts to beat in regular rhythms and their lungs to breathe rhythmically. SIDS deaths are virtually non-existent in homes where parents cosleep with infants (in the absence of alcohol- and drug-use). (General resource: www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger; Academic Resource: cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/33678/mckenna_gettlerangxp.pdf)
I know this isn't for everyone, but it's the rhythm that works for us. As a special ed teacher, I spend a lot of time working back to basic human needs that need to be satisfied to achieve higher needs, and "snuggling" seems to be one of them for a large percentage of kiddos (with respect for kids who have been abused and therefore have issues with contact). I have a friend who has night terrors and doesn't feel safe with her babies in bed with her - they sing songs at night, cuddle, read stories, and she makes it work. But I think we've done a great disservice to our basic needs as a species by relegating communal sleep to the "weird" category. What I have found since I became a parent is that MANY people "guiltily" allow their children into their beds, or allow their children to sleep in the same bed, even though it's been a totally normal and acceptable way to live throughout our history. I think we take something away when we forget what we are and what we've come from.
Due to a combination of sleep apnea and anxiety attacks nightly I slept with my mother until I was 14 for half the night. I would wake up at midnight afraid there was a break in. I would try to read and tell myself stories but I would hear something that sounded like a floorboard creak and that would trigger the anxiety attack. That was my sleep pattern until I got anxiety meds
I had a separation disorder as a kid. I always wanted and needed to be near my mom. So I pretty much shared a bed with her my whole childhood.
We were also in a one bedroom apartment so that was actually easier.
When my niece was very young she had colic really bad and mom would put her on her stomach on the bed then lay beside her with her hand on my nieces back. It was the only way to calm her down.
Later on when she visited us she usually shared my bed.
By then we were in a 2 bedroom house but she wanted to be with me.
No big deal. All kids climb in with their elders at some point.
@@Nirrrina I also had heart problems and was really sick as a baby.
I agree do much with this! I remember as a small child going into my parents bed and being cuddled. I never thought it was weird or anything. My almost 1 year old sleeps in a bed next to mine and my almost 4 year old comes in sometimes. I do prefer just my husband and I as summer gets too hot to sleep with body heat. My kids are happy and sleep well, though.
I wasn't allowed to sleep in the same bed as my parents as a kid, but whenever I "had a nightmare" my mom would allow me to sleep on the floor next to her side of the bed.
When I got older, she told me that she wouldn't have minded the bed sharing, but my Dad wanted my sister and I to become more independent.
I'm thankful for having my OWN space since I was a kid
As the only girl in the family, I always had my own room. Brothers had to share. I could never sleep with another person in the room. Even in college dorm, after the first few weeks of freshman year, I always manage to not have a roommate.
Also the natural sleep pattern for humans was four hours then a break and another 4 hours, with the break varying in length depending on season, and being eliminated in high summer. It was only the rise of artifical light and the rise in late Dinner times that caused our sleep to be condensed to one period of 4-8 hours depending on the person or work schedule.
Ther are ettiquette books talking about relationships and other things that advide, for instance, couple to wait for intimate relations until after the first sleep, or give rules for conversation.
Go to your room? Yes please! Beats being hit by moms sandals
"Beats" being hit...
Las Chanclas lol
Your mom still do that? Mine too.
I never understood placing a baby in a nursery and sleeping in a separate room. I co-sleep with my children..it’s seems more natural.
taginefc as long as there's a barrier so you can't roll over on them, I wholeheartedly agree. Babies need their parents close
alexandra galici Yh my benchmark would be:
Parents and kids sleep together until kids become the age of 7.
Then siblings sleep together until age of 13.
Then they can finally sleep separately...
I’m not sure how it would work if there’s only one child though XD
Also from 7-13, I think everyone can still sleep together in special occasions like Christmas or Summer Holidays. It would be fun for the kids! I remembered we use to drag beds to the living room and watch a movie until late at night and have a little family sleep over thing :D
Whatever its origin, the current reason western children need to learn to sleep in their own beds is cultural. Due to the standard 9-5 work/school schedule, we all need to sleep undisturbed. For a light sleeper, like my husband, that is not possible with several children in the bed. Many nights, I'd fall asleep with him and wake up with the children. Their cries would wake him and he'd bring them to our bed, which calmed them, but he couldn't sleep with them there. So he'd go sleep in their beds. I liked having them in our bed but like Fair Play said, when they are babies, you need to be sure they are safe in the communal bed.
That's because it is more natural... but at the end of the day, a more sleep deprived parent is the more dangerous one. Do what works.
My question is when do you have sex?
When i was below 9yo: GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Now:GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM!
Gosh dang it this is cringy
Well yeah, you've been there since you were nine.
@@darrishawks6033 well, technically its true
I never did understand go to your room , a place you want to be with all your toys and things you want to do. Now go to the laundry room that would suck as there would be nothing to do in there but look at the wall.
"The West and the US" If you think that the US isn't part of the West what are you doing
couldn't the west also include south america ?
In practice, "the West" means countries which are predominantly white and not in Eastern Europe. People include Australia in "the West" and I'm sure that, if the ANC weren't in power now, people would call South Africa Western.
iBeam western just means white
I kept thinking, "And what about Canada??" She should have said "Europe and North America."
I really think the West is such a stupid saying. Like seriously, depending on where you live the west could be a completely different country.
i find it weird to have a couple sleeping in seperate beds. like as a kid if i got scared at night id always climb between mom and dad and feel safe but you couldnt if they had a twin bed each.
I can’t generally sleep in a room with other people, I end up freaking out and overthinking my breathing and then I try to breath a quietly as possible which just ends with a sleepless night just waiting for the sun to go up.
Studies have shown that co-sleeping is not associated with Sudden Infant Death syndrome. Co-sleeping with parents is healthy and isn't such a "weird" issue as westerners make it out to be.
If I had not been cosleeping with my infant daughter,almost 28 years ago she would of died! I heard her make an odd noise, so I opened my eyes, moonlight was shineing in,.I looked at her chest,not moving! Useing 2 fingers I gently nudged her& called her name. On about the second nudge, she made a deep muckousyninhale started ti cough, .i sat phernup & patted back, she gulped a few deep bresths! Abd then snuggled back ti sleep she us currently an almost 28 yesr old art history major at U.C.zdavis.
What studies
@@kamicrum4408 I’m glad you were there to help her!
@@kamicrum4408 yes! I was so worried about not hearing my babies.
@@ang5798 I think the studies are about sleeping in the same room not bed sharing. There are studies that bed sharing can increase the risk for SIDS. Pretty sure it is recommended to have babies in the same room for 12 months to reduce the chance of SIDS.
My younger sister would sleep walk and talk! I had to sleep with her to watch and protect her. We lived by the ocean and she would walk right out the house in the middle of the night to use the outside bathroom! Since my childhood, I didn’t sleep much at nights. Now she is grown and have her own apartment! I did a pretty good job😂
@Wandering Alpaca DID YOU ASSUME THEIR GENDER!?
You are her hero. She owes you her life.
That must have been tough. It shouldn't have been your responsibility.
Honestly if I ever get married and have enough money I would like 3 bedrooms between me and my husband. One bedroom would be mine, one his, and we would share the third.
Nirrrina That might be the recipe for a long lasting marriage.
That's how I live. Our house is rather small, just about 800 sq. ft., but only the two of us and 3 pets share it. My husband and I each have a room for our own use - primarily hobbies - and then a shared bedroom. It works well for us!
Great idea.
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so! And own walk-in closets too. Some of the closets they are making these days in America that they call "homes" ...ridiculous. Barely even big enough for a pet cat much less humans.
Mathieu Levert I have insomnia and my bro has autism. He screeches every night for a good 30 min and it takes me like 2 hours to go to sleep after that. So usually I fall asleep around 12:00am and have to wake up at 6:00 every morning. I’m also in the 7th grade. I struggle a lot with school.
I think me hearing my parents making love as a child while Im right next to them and having to pretend to sleep until they stopped is one of the reasons
Get CPS...
The alternative to “a good night’s sleep” can be much worse than just some “tossing and turning”
Humans need privacy. Having one's own room is a convenient facet of that, but alternitively people used to go on long walks or find places to hide. This can be extremely dangerous when a person can't be found. Much safer to give a person their own dictated space, where everybody knows where they are, but perhaps not what they're doing.
I don't know if it's true that humans need privacy. There has been a large number of societies that don't have anything close to what we call privacy.
Privacy is a very new concept in the scheme of human history. It’s only really been in the last 200 or so years. Some research has suggested increasing isolation from our communities and our own family members has lead to a spike in mental health issues and huge suicide rates in Western countries.
I think by 'humans' you mean yourself and I agree - I need privacy - but I know a lot of people who hate being alone even for a few minutes. I think we're the exception rather than the norm.
+Katy McDonald I doubt that true. I mean think about it. Sure we didn’t have as much privacy, but we probably still had some, but getting it was much more difficult.
Alexandra McGinnis it is true. Even seperate bedrooms for parents and children wasn’t really popularised until the Victorians. In Medieval times whole families slept in s great hall including any servants and often animals.
You can doubt it all you like but the fact is until around 200 years ago when the aristocracy started having private chambers, rooms designed for privacy didn’t exist. There was simply no reason for people to do things alone, especially a child.
Until indoor plumbing not even bathing had a dedicated room and inner city dwellers had public amenities to share in many countries.
Communal sleeping makes surreptitious or unwanted sexual actions more difficult to pull off covertly. So Victorian society looked on it and said "This could enable premarital sexual actions! That's immoral!"
Ah, the olden days. Always good for a laugh, if you ignore the effects they had on those long dead.
Timothy McLean uy
Girls maybe can sleep together or boys. but not a boy or girl together. It could?? lead to sexual attachment as they grow up. Blessings Debby
That's probably not true. We develop incest avoidance with everyone we know prior to age 7 most of the time.
Debby Rich I used to have TERRIBLE nightmares multiple times, EVERY night, and was scared of the dark. . On the nights when the power got knocked out, I would always wake up and be scared beyond words.. I couldn't go to my parents, they would just yell at me to get over it and go to bed in my room... Later on I then tried to stay with my older brother, he NEVER did anything siblings aren't supposed to do, and he ALWAYS opened up his bed to me, because he didn't want his little sister to be scared. I am greatfull to my brother for this. He later on helped me conquer my fear of the dark.. Siblings sleeping with one another will not ALWAYS lead to incest whether siblings are brother and brother, sister and sister or brother and sister. I am not sure HOW incest occurs/starts, but it can't just SIMPLY spring up because two people share a bed.
We shared just one bedroom to my 15 with parents and sisters and one brother nine year younger but we never were ashamed even naked before another because we took this as normal when you need dress up/change clothes Going to shower etc. I think that incest occurs in poor social conditions when one or both parents are alcoholics, doing drugs Or just not have both parents So they don't know because they have not good example how to behave normal
The answer is really simple--when we have the resources to do what we want, we shall.
My parents slept in separate twin beds. I asked Dad once how did they have sex if they had separate beds? He said they didn't have to stay in separate beds. A revelation for a young child as I was.
I didn't think parents had sex, children just appeared like the mail. If you ever want to see people squirm bring that topic up. It would of been interesting when many Americans used to live in one room houses. Parents would of had sex in the same room, them mom would of given birth at home. Yet they had a higher moral standard.
Just like the Flintstones.
make ithapn and I Love Lucy.
Yeah I'll go for this shit never happened for like $500.
@@RexTheDinosaur1 some people are less prudish.
When she talked about the parents having twin beds, I'm surprised that she didn't mention shows like "I Love Lucy" which showed them having separate beds, and how The Munsters were the first TV married couple that actually shared a bed
the flintstones was the first TV show to show couples sharing a bed
TV and movies showed married couples in twin beds because of censorship rules. They also were not allowed to show people kissing for longer than a few seconds.
Actually that's not even true: The first TV couple to share a bed was not on "The Brady Bunch" or "The Munsters," but was on "The Mary Kay and Johnny" show in 1947. It was the first situation comedy ever.
I always got a kick out of those beds inside cupboards from way back in the day.
Are you talking about Murphy beds?
In Moby Dick Ishmael meets his friend, the "savage" Quequig, by sharing a bed with him on their first night together.
I got the impression that this was unusual, but not unheard of at the time.
I slept with my parents until I was 7 or 8. They had me sleep on my own room because I move too much when I sleep.
yeah I slept in my mom's bed till I was 6-7
Exactly me
FireFlower And then there's me,who sleeps in the same bed with my mom,even though I'm 14,because we can't afford a bigger flat...
Subscribed! Love this lady, her voice and this Channel. Very informative
mariondove1 agree was thinking the same thing.
I always slept with my mom growing up, now that I'm becoming a teen I enjoy sleeping in my room cause I stay up more and my mom lets me be more independent too. But I always love cuddling when I can't sleep or just want to.
Separation - to separate. Negate. Alone sleep is great sometimes, sleeping with others is great health benefits as well. Look into cuddling. In a world that our free wil has been hijacked and we’ve created this illusion of separation. Look around people more depressed then ever. More lonely then ever
I always found it weird that people put their babies in a separate room and used baby monitors...like just keep them with u they’re kids and they need that warmth! I personally shared beds until I was in middle school while my actual bedroom was storage/play room & I think I’m closer to my parents because of it
nana babies die all the time sleeping in bed with parents. esp with bigger people. cribs are much safer.
you do have instincts, unless you are drunk and under drug influence...
No, instincts doesn't matter. Parents roll over their babies and kill them. It's not safe.
Sober parents do NOT roll over their children. Someone influenced by alcohol, drugs or strong medication should, of course, not sleep in the same bed as a child.
If sleeping with babies is what you believe is best, then you do you. But I'm not gonna risk my future kid's life because I want to bond. We can bond when I'm awake.
Personally, I like sharing rooms with people. I think that maybe the studies that show people sleep better apart may reflect that because we aren’t conditioned from a young age to sleep in beds together. My mum always let my brother and I sleep in her bed when my dad was away. Brother would sleep through the night, but no matter how tired I was, I’d inevitably wake part way through the night and stumble off down the hall to my own bed. Brother slept with my parents from a young age due to illnesses, whereas I didn’t.
That's an interesting variable i didn't think of. it would make perfect sense that a decent chunk of the population wouldn't adapt well to sleeping together if the vast majority was used to solitary sleep.
I think it just depends on the person and age. When I was little I used to sleep in my parents bed alot but the older i got, the more I wanted to sleep by myself. I also used to share a room with my brother until I was like 9. But now, I like being alone and sometimes enjoy the company of people sometimes, it depends on who.
Run Barry Run * I still sleep in the same room as my twin-sister.
I dont think so. I slept with my mom mostly as a kid but i still dont like sharing beds today sharing a room is okay with me. I also saw many other commenters who slept in shared rooms or beds as a child and still had other preferances as an adult. I would guess its a personal thing how much privacy and shared spaces you likw that is obviously influenced by how you where raised but not completly decided by it
Danielle a really great narrator and writer! I love watching these videos and listening to her explain things. Keep up the great work!
I loved that my sister and me shared a rooms until we were teenagers. We talked and told stories and generally kept each other company. It was wonderful!
So sad, as a child my family often co-slept. It was great for sharing the care of children. My mother, now passed, often talked about the family sleeping together to stay warm in the winter. My own children did some co-sleeping but I doubt my grandchildren have as their biological father is an up tight disciplinarian.
Thanks for these wonderful videos.
My kids are 8 and 5. We have coslept in the same bed since they were born. I feel very bonded with my children and I (neither do they at this point in time) want them to sleep in separate rooms. I think cosleeping is important for child development but most people think it's weird. I know they won't sleep with me forever but I'll let them decide when they are ready for their own space.
@@paganroots6890 my mom decided that when I hit puberty that it was no longer ok to sleep with my parents. My own kids decided for themselves.
It is a great bonding experience ❤
@@paganroots6890 if you don't mind me asking, how do to maintain a sexual relationship with you spouse? Wouldn't having you kids in your bed put a damper on things/ make it inappropriate to have sex?
Kim & William I have been a single mom for 5 years now but before when I was married my husband and I simply went to the spare bedroom temporarily after our daughter fell asleep.
I never slept with my mom....
When i wanted when i say was sick as a little kid. I couldn't. Just need space.
But i am a very lonely person. And i was kid of pushed out of the bed multiple times. When sleeping over at my best friend, who has a 2 person bed. I couldn't sleep with her in bed. So i slept on the floor, eventho i have a really soft mattress.
With my boyfriend. I couldn't sleep. And he wasnt touching me. And his bed is very comfortable. I just i guess can't sleep with people. In the room sure. In the bed. Hell no. It of course definetly isnt like i cant fall asleep because i dont trust my best friend, boyfriend or my mom when i was little.
6 girls 1 boy. 4 girls to a double bed happened a lot.
Worse when sleeping with the younger ones who still wet the bed.
Thank you for being so detailed, coherent, and actually answering the question! Love this! You’ve got me sold on this channel!
In the case of a family sharing a sleeping space, well, that sounds weird to me because then the parents don't have a place for their "marital" activities. So no thanks.
Whenever my family traveled when I was young, my parents usually rent a room and I would share a bed with my mother or sister. I've even shared with my younger brother! And I don't want want to do that again. So again, no thanks. If having my own sleeping space means I have the resources to afford it, then count me in. I don't want to deal with a bunch of people snoring in my ears.
Rose Quartz people back then would just do it and hope the kids were asleep 😂
So me! Like I’ve always been an independent person ever since I was born, ain’t nothing gonna change that.
Better get with the program, or get out my house lmao.
I don’t do sharing beds unless it’s with my spouse, and even then I would want my own space. 🤣
So poor little children would no longer be scarred for life listening to mom & dad 'doing it'. C'mon, you can't seriously say you would want to hear mom and pop slappin' ass when you were 7.
Lmfaooooooo
Seriously, though. I'm not ashamed of sex or anything, I think it's wonderful. But it's still a private activity! lol
I honestly thought this was the reason 😂
Honestly I remember in 1st grade my parents slapping ass loud asf in the room next to me. They assumed I didn't know what was going on. So gross. I still remember.
My parents were too old to do it when I was born.
You are fascinating! I'm glad Art Assignment recommended you.
Daniel Rustad thanks for tuning in!!!
When I was young, me and my siblings shared a room. As we got older and hit puberty, we got our own rooms for privacy. It was cool sharing a room with my siblings cause we could play together but when I was a teen I LOVED my own space and privacy.
I'm part Maori and I had to sleep in the same room as 40 other people, but it was a really big room, here we call it a marae. We had our own mattresses, blankets and pillows tho, it was alright, just people took a while to stop talking.
Girl, you killed it!!!👍👍 This was so thorough.
Hi, to the source I think you’re missing the French Revolution Act of the rights of the Man and Citizen, when for the first time in human history it was stated that owning your own bed is a basic human right. It came out in 1789 and it somewhat changed the view on common lodging as the common folk was demanding more personal space, also at night. Otherwise well done video.
That’s so interesting and seems like an important law. Didn’t I see an old woodcut of people paying to sleep sitting up on benches and over ropes from the same century?
@@M-WG possibly - until XX century is was flawed, but ever since it was more of importance for common folk and one of the bargain chips in uprisings and revolutions across Europe. Somewhat America taking example of French Revolution and it’s act popularized beds for everyone and due to new urban development completely new room - separate bathroom. When slaves (btw wtf) had better lodging than feudal peasant in Europe, you know something was wrong. And slavery was abhorrent thing, feudalism was exactly same thing legal until almost end of XIX century in some European countries, then using domestic help as living in slave with less than minimum wage and no room or bed for them - absolutely terrible. People were such terrible back then.
@@cohitoewa thanks Ewa. I’m in America and our cities are still bad now. It’s basically illegal to be homeless and shelters have the strangest rules. Our cities build things to make sure no one can sit in the shade for relief or sleep rough. They do things like put metal bars across benches at the park or even small spikes on things. People even get harassed by the police for sleeping in their own cars and there are only a few places they can park at night if they’re discreet. I wish we could be better people.
@@M-WG I know of that’s fact and it breaks my heart. Nobody should go trough that, ever.
easy answer: privacy
In my room I cry, study and sleep
Other parents: Go to your bedroom!!!
My parents: Get out of your room!!!
I always had my own room until I got married. Sometimes I wish I still had my own private place to go to when I feel like it.
Just found this channel.... Super lovely and helps me learn things I wanna learn! Thanks PBS!!
It’s great that you deliver a huge quantum of information with such conviction!
I was lucky enough to have my own bedroom since I was born, and in the rare occasions I had to sleep with my parents (for instance on vacation, if the hotel had no beds for children, for no more than a night or two) I hated it. I didn't have my privacy, I couldn't read after the time they decided for sleeping, and I particularly disliked their smell in my bed (they are both very clean persons, but every person has his/her own natural odour). Co-sleeping with children? thanks but no thanks.
I wonder how many people who report sleeping apart from their spouse grew up sleeping alone? What you're used to will always be more comfortable.
I grew up sleeping alone, until 21. I have been sleeping with my partner from 21 to now (I'm 51) and I love sleeping with him. When he's away it takes me a lot of time to relax enough to feel sleepy.
As a baby, I always slept in a parent's room -- who slept seperately bc my father has a medical condition that makes him snore. I also had my own room to play. As soon as I had learned to express where I wanted to sleep, they let me choose myself. From the age of 10, I always slept in my own room.
As an adult, I would not share my bed with friends or family. I'm absolutely flexible with my romantic partners, though. We have seperate rooms with seperate beds. Sometimes, we invite each other to a "sleepover" or change our sleeping arrangements to adapt to our day. Sometimes we've even slept on a mattress in the kitchen.
When I was a baby my crib was in my parents room, when I was around 2 or 3 got my own room. Then when I was 7 my sisters moved to my room but slept in different beds. Aroun 10 or something I got my room.
I have 16 and when I sleep with my boyfriend I sleep super relaxed, even in sleepovers I slept better when a person is in my bed
I slept in the same bed as my mom very frequently as a child and sometimes in my teens. Me and my fiancee sleep in different beds though because I'm a light sleeper and he snores and moves too much for my liking lol. So in my case this isnt true.
That was interesting, informative, and well presented! Thank you.
Love these quick but hearty super interesting history lessons. Its the only way I can take them, acually. The presenter is great, too. Well-spoken, articulate, knowledgeable. Put it all together and you get a new subbie!
That leads into the question of how was it, or is it where communal sleeping is still practiced with sex? Is it just destigmatized to the point where people have sex essentially "in public", or does that require some sort of "going away"?
I find it strange that double quarters are still the norm in hospitals.
yvobalcer having been hospitalized for heart problems i think that the double bunking was helpful for me and the girl next to me. We could physically not be monitored/entertained constantly and having someone to talk to kept us from wondering around we were under 10 years old
Solitary confinement is a punishment in prison, hospitals can feel like prisons when your there for an extended time.
Also if one of us had an issue then the other could call someone
Like one time the girl threw up and no one was near so i called a nurse over and went to sit by her with the bed pan tell someone came in. If she, or i had been alone it just would have been a bit messier, more upsetting
And considering the double bedding is most common for children and the elderly i think that this is the reason
That and a single nurse can watch two kids threw the night if needed, but two will be needed of there are two rooms.
yvobalcer many hospitals are switching to single rooms. Although the points made above are excellent, the truth is infections are too easily spread. Even with separate rooms nurses are inadvertently spreading things such as C-Diff, MRSA, VRE, etc... sharing a room makes it that much easier. Sadly hospitals or really any communal setting with immunosuppressed patients are dangerous/notorious for spreading new shared illnesses. But I do love the idea of communal quarters.
yvobalcer Used to be that 30-bed wards were normal!!!!
You are correct, but also, the death rate was higher in those days.
I hated it. I had a chick who screamed all night, peed on the floor, a threw her food at the wall. She did all this because she wanted the nurses attention 24/7. She treated them like slaves to do her and her alone personal bidding.
Honestly I can see why people would want their own space but others might not this seems like it needs to be by a case by case basis
Informative video with good delivery! Thanks!
I've still got questions on this, like what do you mean when you say sexual immorality, were workers quarters mixed gender, and then what was the reasoning for home furniture companies portraying the separate twin beds as ideal, were they able to charge more that way or did people associate shared beds with sex and supposedly immoral relationships?
Max Jensen hi thanks for the questions! I dropped some answers at the end of the inkblot episode so check out the answers there!
She is all mixed up.
The twin beds were for couples not rich enough to have separate rooms but who had a hard time sleeping together because of snoring or whatever. It started because TV shows weren’t allowed to have people in the same bed (before you laugh, movies before standards had some crazy porn that wasn’t even advertised ahead of time, so...awkward!) but people saw it and wanted it.
Max Jensen And by immoral, sometimes there would be 2-3 families sharing the same single room. It didn’t mean that anyone was up to something naughty but that the lack of privacy was in itself an immoral situation. The reformers were NOT blaming the renters for their immortality in living in such a place-they realized they had no choice. There’s a difference.
Cool piece. I always found it odd, in a Dickens or Hardy novel, when travelers would share a bed. Thanks for the clarification.
I like your videos, they make me look at such simple things from a completely different perspective. It's always good to have more perspectives to at least know whether any of them would fit best for you.
Very good. Glad that you posted this.
I'm an only child so I always slept alone. One time I had a friend spend the night at my house, and had a separate bed for him in my room, but he wasn't used to having his own bed because he shared a bed with his brother. So that was the first time I experienced anything like communial sleeping. While he slept soundly, I had trouble falling a sleep until my body made me. Now I'm not married and live alone, except when my parent come live with me in Florida for the winter, but I dream and dread the day when I will have a wife to sleep with.
You might get used to it! Or not.. you could always just get a giant bed and wife gets one side you get the other.
As someone who has a similar issue, I can honestly say you get used to it.
When the time comes, buy a King size bed and separate duvets. Maybe even a memory foam mattress that doesn't transfer movement. It takes about a month, but you get used to it.
@@sierrasouthwell9237 separate duvets is key to happiness in my house! My husband complains I steal the covers so he gets his own.
my dad snores SO BAD that my mom sleeps in a different room😂
LOL i have a hard time getting use to sleeping with someone I TOO am an only lol....every bf ive had is concerned when i slap their hand back in the beginning lol,.....
Lemme save you 8 minutes and 37 seconds
Our parents dont want us to catch them getting frisky 😎
I love listening to you, your speaking voice is so easy to hear, because you enunciate so well.
wow, you're great, i love your videos; all facts and narration and answers. this is the best, learning like this is the future.
I think co sleeping if fine and healthy on occasion. But most of the time you need your own space. I think it has to do with comfort and safety. Like when I was little I used to go to my parents room and sleep with them after I had a nightmare. You just feel safer knowing that there’s someone else there.
I looooooooooveeeeee having my own room and bed
😭😭 luckyyy i havent had my own room ever and im 13 now
i’m a major introvert and am very grateful my sister and i got our own rooms when i was 15 because now we fight way less and it’s nice to not have to always be around people and have your own peaceful quiet place
This was really interesting. Thank you! This is the first time I've come across one of your videos...I subscribed :D
I like this girl who is talking.
woman*
Yeah she has a strong voice
There's something about the way She explains things.
It's like I know Her
Before watching the video: my guess is that the parents can get some peace and quiet! Haha and for some "alone" time
After watching: very interesting! Lol
Love your enthusiasm for history.
Great video, I had not even thought about this. Thank you!
Great topic!! very interesting! Can you give some info on "bundling boards" and where they came in, and why?
orlendatube cool question but I don't have an immediate answer on that one so I'm going to pitch out the audience members who are following the comments sections. Anyone have any suggestions???
orlendatube from what I don't call bundling obit Garden as it was known in the American colonies what was essentially a board separating two halves of a bed. The couple the couple if truly interested in one another when it spend the night in the woman's family home with the board separate in them so that nothing of a sexual nature could happen but they could get to know each other better. Could be wrong but that what I know.
It was a result of a cold climate and distant houses in northern Colonial America. It was a quirk of the climate and a remnant of the time when you would offer honored guests the best bed (meaning....part of yours!). Winters didn’t have much work, but days were short and travel was bad, so it was a way, when most people didn’t have extra beds, for young people to visit. Usually there would be an extra sister or two in the bed, anyway. :)
Because that’s how I could have kids in Skyrim.
Dragonborn: "Hey kid, I have a house, you wanna live in it?"
Starving homeless child, wandering in the snow: "Do you... Do you have a bedroom I could sleep in?"
Dragonborn: "Uh, not right now but I'm sure we could work something out, it'd be better than-"
Starving homeless child, still wandering in the snow: "No bedroom? GTFO."
Interesting information. 👍🏽
Sometimes I like to sleep alone, sometimes I like sleeping next to people.
I shared a bed with my mother and father until I moved to the Americas then I had to share a king bed with my two other sisters while my father slept on a couch and my grandma had her own big ass room. we moved again for a while I and my sisters also shared a bed but then I got my own bed and so did my father but three kids and two beds led to sharing again. But my eldsest sister moved out and now i still share a room but i have my own bed.
I like the fact that you cited your work
When I was young I didn't like having a room alone, my imagination was on overdrive. I liked sleeping in a room with my sister.💙
Why do kids have their own rooms?
G-Rated answer: So mom and dad can make love in peace duh LOL🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, me and my brother until we were 7 or 8 would just wake up at night and go to our parents bad. Also, since I have a lot of first cousins, we would all sleep in same bed, while adolts would sleep in same room, just on their own beds. So it was crowded xD
But I am from Eastern Europe, so this all seems normal to me.