Secret of a Happy Relationship - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Speaker: Jordan Peterson Thanks for watching!
Jordan Peterson's "Beyond Order" Audiobook is available with Audible - amzn.to/3NWMtZP
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Thanks for watching!
Jordan Peterson's "Beyond Order" Audiobook is available with Audible - amzn.to/3RHXgW4
You Can Order Jordan Peterson's Book "Beyond Order" - amzn.to/3SsMoMN
You Can Order Jordan Peterson's Book "12 Rules for Life" - amzn.to/3CFyPnX
The links mentioned above are affiliate links.
Stop with the false video titles that aren't the full conclusion or statement by Dr Peterson
This man is saying things so simple and obvious but has been kept hidden from the masses by covering it with so much profanity and degeneracy we don't even remember what this looks like
I truly admire this man and believe having more people (especially young men these days) embody what he describes will lead us out of our current struggles and toward a better tomorrow
Well said…. thank you 😊
My friend don't underestimate yourself, you already knew all this, you just didn't had the words to say it, stop admiring people and be that guy you admire. Admire his teachings, not him, he is just like you, and you are just like him, you just don't take time to notice yourself. Don't belive me, believe gandhi whe he said " be the change you want to see in the world"
Yup. Simple things seem genius nowadays
All of the best thinkers, authors, motivators, etc. in the world have a way of articulating things that we already know but had yet to recognize clearly and pointedly. It's no less meaningful that you already had the thought lurking around somewhere, in fact, I believe it renders them even more so. The fact that we find their writings/musings so deeply relatable means they have touched on a common thread that is connected to all of us. The resulting vibrations are felt at the very essence of who we are. If you havent already, I highly suggest you read some of Emersons essays.. particularly Self-Reliance. If you enjoy Peterson, you will certainly adore Emerson. I often wonder why more people do not compare the two more often.
@@filosofoenpotencia I'm going to be honest...you're wrong
I'm not like him
I haven't spent decades studying human behaviour, I haven't spoken to many people to help their situation and let them know their power
I really appreciate your sentiment and yes I know I can be much better and become a person to admire but no I am not currently a person to admire yet but listening to what JP has said it's for me to make myself into one
Sounds so trivial, but this is exactly what I needed to hear.
so simple, so obvious once you hear it
so genius to actually say it 😅
And yet it's so important that it's anything but trivial. Especially not when this goes well or when it doesn't and things turn to tyrannical shit. Then you realise it's not at all trivial to negotiate each other's needs and wants and to find a way to compromise and/or make them balance and mesh in reciprocal harmony.
People like to conplicate 5hings because they are "bored" drama queens or have too high expectations
It sounds great but you gotta have a partner willing to do this
@@BrotherTree1 yeah when it doesn't go like this, it ends up being a conversation of "ok I'll do this but you have to do this" and then instead of both wanting to do that for the other it turns into one or both regulating that specific behaviour towards the other.
This is negotiation in the form of beautiful poetry in motion.
I don't think you know what poetry in motion is.
@@tcog9300 True, but with the music this truly does sound beautiful.
@@tcog9300 I think he was referring to the situation as poetry in motion. Two people working through their problems to make their lives better. Not the video itself.
@@Aetherion223 ...which is still not what poetry in motion is
@@tcog9300 well that is completely objective soooo....
How anyone could say this man is "King of the Incels" is beyond me.
I'm a woman, and a feminist, though apparently an "old" one (I'm 40. Maybe I'm old lol). Because new feminism...well, idk WHAT that bizarre thing is. It's not feminism.
Do I always agree with Jordan? No. There's no one I agree with 100%
But he is a fair, and actually super sweet person. I've heard him say so many things that are sweet and loving. I've never heard him say anything about hating women. I wish that narrative would stop being a thing.
I've been married for 14 years, and this is a wonderful piece of advice.
You're right. Feminism is supposed to be about promoting women. It has now turned into dragging down masculinity
Well said!
There's still people out in the world 2.5x older than you! You're not yet old. We all will get to be if we're lucky
jordanson is happily married with kids.
he was never an incel.
his wife loved him.
incels are men that no women finds attractive
involuntarily celibate .
Many people these days are afraid of the truth, and they start building this imaginary world where "all people are equal", but it's actually some made up bullshit by people Who cannot stand the difficulties and the injustice this world Is full of. By the way, i am kinda a leftist, but i refuse this rainbow-liberal vision, because It tries to equalize everything, and i don't think it's immoral that someone is Better than another, or stronger, or smarter. And so with men and women. There are differences and trying to put everyone on the same level Is refusing the evidence.
I have one habit that cannot be broken: Whether we are happy, sad, mad, have a bone to pick, want to jump in bed immediately, or whatever else... She offers her face and forehead and I lay a quick warm kiss on both and say hi.
No matter what we're about to do after that, we've established that we love each other and we've had a moment of peace between us. Works wonders...
The lie that love is what we feel toward the other is so prevalent today.
Thanks for being the antithetical example
@@charlesj.easleyii7642 ?
@@chiefsfan1381 did you have a specific question or would you like me to explain the philosophy behind all of what I said? 😅
@@charlesj.easleyii7642 ig explain the philosophy 🤷🏽♂️ You don’t believe love is real?
@@chiefsfan1381 bet
That is a type of love. Romance is the type of love that comes naturally in a functioning relationship. The Greeks called this love "Eros."
Between those moments of lovely, erotic bliss are many more of mundane, struggle, and let down. Love is not natural in those moments. How we treat each other in those moments are the substance of any relationship. We choose to love them in spite of our negative feelings toward them.
The issue here is one of category and my point is that we can't use our romantic feelings as a root metric to guage the love we have for our significant others or any relationship for that matter.
I've been married for 28 years, gone through extreme hardships both medically and financially, and I can tell you people have made marriage so over complicated that they sabotage themselves right from the start. People always ask me how we make it work and I always reply.. be honest with each other, give each other personal space, show love (includingl tough love when needed) but don't smother, and help each other when times get tough, and have realistic expectations of your spouse and yourself. That's pretty much it.
My ex husband was stealing and cheating! I never married again!
Sounds complicated
Grateful for your beauty 🌻
You have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can be a good partner to anyone.
I really love your advice. But I do have a question you may be able to answer. It sounds like you understand personal space more than the average person. I am a touch oriented person. I love to cuddle and be touched by my significant other. But my significant other has extreme times of not wanting to be touched that last for weeks or months. Yet I have the need for hugs and physical touch. How does one cope with this and how do you make a relationship work during moments like this when they last a long time? I feel like I’m giving far more than I take.
Jordan is exceptional at articulating things
It depends what you mean by "exceptional".
There’s no way to dislike this man if you actually listen to him
I like his daughter too they're genuinely concerned about helping others 😎
Very true. If people in my "corner" knew I like him, they'd accuse me of being a sexist... Because they haven't actually listened to him. They've listened to people filtering his words through their own Ego.
His critics are vicious.
Sure there is. That he says some reasonable things when it comes to fairly basic psychology - who knew that communication in a relationship is important - but he also says plenty of BS things in other areas, where he doesn't necessarily have any genuine expertise.
@@wunnellfinally someone recognizes JP’s bs on many other things. Even this short shows he thinks most women can sit down across from us and negotiate rationally rather than emotionally. Most women need to trust a good man’s vision and defer to male authority. This sounds like some Art of the Deal negotiation with your wife.
I’m engaged to be married in a few months. Right before i held my phone and go on RUclips, I was thinking about the future with my husband and what my day will hopefully look like. I hope this is a good sign to have this video pop up on my feed :)
My parents have been married for 60 years when my dad would come home from work Mom would have a cup of coffee and a plate of cake or cookie something small on the table he'd say hi to everybody but the kids weren't allowed to talk to him until he sat with Mom and had his cup of coffee and she never complained about anything I mean if we messed up or something that was later that cup of coffee was sacred to them. It wasn't a problem unloading or an informing or update it was a simple I'm so glad you're home let's take a moment in our day. They're in their 80s still in love and still making consider days I'm often wondered if it was just that moment of care and compassion and concern and not the download of information issues and problems but just the let's have a cup of coffee let's take a breath before you go into a day. Anyway congratulations on your upcoming marriage and I hope that you both of you take care of each other that's how you make it to the Long Haul
How is your married life now ?
My wife and I have this conversation daily and IT IS RIGHT! I cannot wait to come home after a long day at work and clean up the house a little bit and see how her face lights up. Just a little effort every day goes so far. She goes out of her way to do the same thing for me in return! We are so in love, even when we’re grumpy, fighting, stressed or tired. Coming home and spending the rest of the day together is what we look forward to most every day. Jordan Peterson offers so much wisdom in relationships.
Little things turn into big things, good advice. (:
It pains me to admit that I didn't really have any idea of what a happy, committed, married life would look like. This made things a bit more understandable. Thank you.
She’s out there. Until then, keep doing the work. Keep improving. One square at a time ❤️
I’m more thoughtful towards my husband since listening to Jordan!
Is your husband thoughtful in marriage?
@@Btrutaltruth …absolutely! And I took him for granted, I guess!!
I thank you. On behalf of your husband. He may not say it put it does mean the world for us.
Here's another one for you when u ask for our advice or hear our thoughts on things, Little or big and actually listen. It will make him smile when he's alone thinking about it, and you.
@@marlonzaklit8887 Advice is the cheapest comodity in the world...
@@Btrutaltruth advices open to people different line of thought so they come up with their own answers. So i am sure you don't know how to use them. So this is an advice about advices, on the advice you gave me. Lol
To all the young men..don't drink or disrespect your girlfriend/wife. Be home every day for your kids and don't yell at them. Treat them with love and compassion. No woman in the world is worth splitting up your home and not being around your kids and wife every single day. Don't drink alcohol it will transform you into something you will not like. Pray everyday and always do the right thing. God bless you people
Well said sir. I am thrilled at the thought processes and utterances that Jordan's ideas have stimulated.
guys whom Avoid coming home after work have good reason .after working for a boss that is never satisfied and then coming home to a wife whom atracks you at the door
I mean okay, but if you have a mean, cruel and disrespectful wife, then what?
Wow this made me very emotional unexpectedly… I think it’s the realization of how disconnected we’ve become, to need such a simple reminder…
I'm in a bad place currently and all shit like this makes me emotional lol. But it's so true... This advice from Peterson SHOULD be met with "well duh, wtf kind of advice is that lmao!" but it's not..... This blatantly obvious advice, is SO needed today. It's like we all expect everyone to know everything, to pick up on signs, to understand our feelings, despite the fact we know they probably won't or can't. I wish I had this mindset years ago. When I was educated on this stuff, I used it on my next relationship, and she ended up being a sociopath and I put all the energy I had left in me trying to help her get better. Literally almost got me killed.
Lesson learned, communication is the key, but when you notice the person you're communicating with isn't being honest, just run. Run far away.
I call this the golden Half Hour. No matter how tired sad busy harrsssed, always give your kids 30 mins of quality time when you get home and let them know how happy you are to see them. No matter what else happens this is what they’ll always remember
My ex husband used to come home wishing I hadn’t had a drink and wasn’t stressed with the kids. I used to wish he hadn’t come home from the pub wishing he’d have any other conversation other than his day and his stresses of work. I wish I’d have been allowed to say that I was lonely and stressed out too. But I was just his maid, nanny, cook and cleaner. And I wasn’t allowed any friends or a job. It was truly toxic. What you’re describing sounds glorious.
I'm so sorry Suzanne. One day true love will find you. Btw, you won't be looking for it. Can't wait for the day love comes walking in for you!
Did you ever tell him ?
I did tell him. He used to say ‘I’ll do what I want when I want’. Like I said…. Toxic
There are good men out there. Lots of them.
Such valuable information for free for everyone to see/hear.
The Internet at it's best.
Yeah that's what I thought
Omg yes! What if all content were this good?
Jordan Peterson, the man who changed my life in only sections of time.
I make it a point of telling my husband " I'm happy your home" and "Did you have a good day? " Then actually listening to whatever it is he says next. That small window of the first 5 minutes of being considerate changes so much in how the rest of the day or evening goes! Everyone wants to feel appreciated.
Thats awesome. And im sure it means the world to him even if he doesnt say it
JP so many couples need this advice like air. Im in tears...i have noone. To those who have someone, remember to appreciate this person beside you as much as a one of a kind masterpiece that is irreplaceable.
Well, the way you talk/think is very rare for a single woman these days. You won't have any problem finding a man with that outlook on relationships. I've searched high and low, and women like that either don't exist or are already wife'd up!
I’ve been married 32 years and this is exactly why our marriage is better than ever
The people who stay married are likely not femi nists, not have mental disorder, have similar morals, they believe in commitment and masc uline and femin ine roles (which G od designed), and don't have standards that increase every time the partner achieves a goal. Chit chat is a small part, not the secret key.
With fem inist controlled government since 1990, divorce is more likely if the woman is willing to use the psyc hopaths in government to terr orize and steal kids from her husband, or she can pay for her desires financially on her own. Hypergamy has been in women forever, but now many women have higher incomes.
Jordan Peterson keys to marriage video - How to know your future spouse. at 8min. 'Have commitment trust. Communicate truth to each other. Can negotiate.'
Most excellent advice. Thankyou Mr. Peterson.
Me and my fiance are like this and it works, we are happy 99% of the time even after 11 years. We also aren't stressful individuals despite somethings we have been through
Wow. This man is needed and to be cherished.
Do you have any idea how many trained psychologists could and would have told you the same thing today and for decades in the past? Ther's nothing particularly special about mush (most?) of what Peterson has to say in his area of expertise.
the secret is in good comunication,
not a new advice, but DEFINITELY still worth talking about
ABSOLUTELY! Communication hands down
God bless this man.! He's a total genius.
The sad fact is that most people dont live like this because they lack the dignity to communicate properly with their most important people in their lives. This man is a catalyst for the simple thoughts and actions all of us need to incorporate at some level in our lives
If only my husband was still in our home waiting for me…. Why god have you taken him away from me 😭 I would give my whole life for 1 conversation with him like this one , just a few sentences….
It will get better
The best way of helping his soul is to keep praying for him.
Life can be so painful.
My condolences. May he rest in peace. Stay strong. 🤲🏼
:(
hmm.. Respect, compromise and honest discussion. TV talking head shows tell me this is impossible at best. I'll choose to believe the good Dr.!
My inlaws were the shining example of putting the other first. They were humble, happy and had a calming influence that radiated throughout their home. Despite their ongoing health issues, they always strived to look at the positive side of life and showed gratitude for life. They were happily married for almost sixty years and passed away into their nineties. The younger generation could learn so much from these simple yet necessary values.
My goodness so simple and yet very few ever get there. We really need to come to the knowledge and understanding of how powerful our thoughts and intentions are. Thank you for sharing. I hope millions of people listen and actually hear what you are saying. What a wonderful world it would be.
I am so happy that every day I get to come home and we get to talk about our day. He usually makes dinner (cooking is his favorite hobby). I usually clean something, pour a few beers for him while he cooks, and we hug a lot. I play a video game. He Listens to his favorite music. It's good stuff.
Lily, that sounds awesome. Good for you!
You are such an astute man. The way you explain things really focus on the questions we need to ask.
That's true and it's facts I respect you 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙
If only my now Ex would be that civil & thoughtful. He was a light switch that LIVES to cause arguments & chaos. It made HIM happy to argue, moody to pick a fights
I’ve been married over 19 years and I cheer every time my husband gets home. Our son is 18 and still does the same. Lol it is like an eruption of genuine joy every time he comes home even the dog dances. Our little family even all hug every morning. My two men are the most wonderful people in the world to me and I will never let them question that.
I love this. I'll do this from now. We all need someone to cheer when they see us❤
I walk in to a pristine, clean, quiet environment and put my things down and go sit down on the floor with my rabbit. Serenity🥰
Just adore him. Thank you
Very simple! Simple but not easy. Often only one side will want to talk about these things :(
Do you ask yoir wife about her day? About her life?
So simple, so correct. But these things make the world of difference!
I need a Jordan Peterson in my life so bad. We all need a Jordan Peterson in our lives.
Truly amazing relationship advice.
This makes me so sad but also makes me very happy, because I did half of this I just didn’t make it happen and now that I’m in my 60s that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, before I heard this message. this is what I have advised my children before this message,
so that part I do feel good..VERY GOOD!
A little genuine and honest communication goes a long way.
You make PERFECT SENSE, Good Dr......!
Absolutely!
My mother father never ever did any discussion but they both listen too each other most times
The saddest thing is that some people think that this way of communicating is artificial. When I asked my ex these questions he said I was treating him like a stranger. So ignorant! It’s fundamental that people are taught how to communicate what they feel and what they want.
Maybe he wasn't the right person for you, I'd love to get home to a nice cup of tea and have a nice chat about each other's day, I guess it's hard to find your soulmate but it can happen 😉
Genius. Thank you Dr
This man is awesome. I love everything he says.
Life is in small details.
This was what my husband and I did when we just got married and had never lived with one else. 👍🏽 communication goes a long way.
How do you communicate..😢? I don’t know how to do that which is so sad at 28
true. open good communication is real big deal to have a happy relationship.
Does anyone happen to know which video/podcast this clip was sourced from? Thank you!
Fundamental yet impactful advice all relationships are to be built upon...sadly communication-negotiation is often neglected which lead to distrust, unwanted assumptions, and relationships breaking down...
Did you find out?
Did you find out the full video?
My dream home put simply in words. Suggestion taken. Thank you Prof. JP
When a husband and his wife prioritizing communication constantly with love ,trust nd respect nd understanding nd willing to listen to each other this kind of relationship makes the bond stronger nd really makes the union to last forever til they grow old bciz they enjoyed their company being to each other
My hubby and I did this years ago. He needed to decompress from work and traffic for half an hour when he got home and not talk. I worked from home and needed to chat. So he would yell hi from downstairs when he got home, I’d yell hi back. He decompressed for half an hour then made a cup of tea brought it upstairs and sat and chatted with me for half an hour then I made dinner (I love to cook) and he did the dishes and reset the kitchen. It worked for us❤️✨
Of course all this hinges on communication
Shouldn't have made the commitment of marriage of you can't even communicate basic conversations such as this.
Done at my home. But my Mother, did not like it, because I repeat it every moment, every day. But now i know what it purpose. Thank you sir.
Thank you❤
I feel like an idiot, but I needed to hear this. It is amazing the way he emphasizes the importance of such simple concepts. I think he should make his own “for dummies” series
It's why communicating is so important.... ironically enough we go insane when we're locked away in solitude.
It is not complicated. Thank you, Dr Peterson. x
She wants to do 3 guys while you watch and you want to cuddle. Or the other way around, he wants to come home and play league of legends while she watches the kid. This worlds ganna burn and the good people are sifting for diamonds in a mountain full of coal. All that matters is that you work on yourself and hopefully you find the right one will be in your life one day while you search
I LOVE that kind of thinking. Building a bridge. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Right 👍
This is wonderful and meaningful advice.
So many people talk about wanting good communication in a relationship, and they never have these kinds of talks with each other. Let’s do more of this plz.
Best analogy
Amen. I want peace, clean, shower, eat. Relax and rest
For exactly how much time? Specify.
I do almost exactly what he said, all I ask for is a quick hello, a hug, and 30 minutes to process my day, and then the rest of the night is hers.
Great way of getting things done !!!❤❤❤❤
Sounds like my marriage. I love to see my man come home, he's my best friend, and when we disagree, I can see him work at not becoming the bear that I married him to be, in order to protect our family.
communication is key..
Yes but a woman expects you to read her mind as she can read yours. Then there is no need for that conversation to ever happen.
The eye of the mind.
Communication is important to any situation but we have to listen to hear not listen to respond.
Which should be easy especially with the ones we love. Seems we've been known to treat the one we love the worst....
Outlook determines outcome! Always
You give each other the love attention and respect that you want given to yourself, give each other space an acceptable amount at least, listen to each other! It's not hard to Be happy, not really! But you have to be happy with yourself! That, no one can give you!
This is great! Thanks again JP!
Communication is key 🗝
Wow awesome! Thank you for a new way! ❤😊
People say were getting smarter as a species but here we are listening to a man explain how to have a conversation with your significant other in order to keep communication open and the relationship working. I know it's not easy but the first step is always communication. If you can't communicate then you know it won't work.
Description of Love Languages. If you both cater to what each other “need” according to their specific LL, the relationship thrives. It’s not what you think they like, it’s what they need and vice versa. Must have effective communication, and bam 💥
This is something I’ve done with my wife “& kids”!! It makes a difference❣️❣️
Time is the Limiter
on that "pick" !
Hope Everyone Has a Wonderful Day Atleast a Good One 👍
"This is how it is now, and I would like it to be better" and that's exactly where this dream ends in most relationships. If said partner responds with a load of "not good enough?" "You don't get to tell me what to do" is it already time to leave?
It might take twenty attempts. But that's not that many.
@@JordanBPeterson I have since moved on from two relationships. Thanks for the encouraging words. (P.S. you're a great inspiration to stay calm and reasonable in conflict, your work is incredibly impressive, thank you!)
Pretty clever idea
I just hope one day I can talk to my wife about the vision I have. But 1st I have to know my vision. It's abstract but it goes like, I'm happy to wake up, happy to come home and I'm good with what I have, and I want to feel like I want to lift others to get to a life like me!
Talk and compromise.
I'm glad me and my husband is having a good start on our married life.
I've been married 22 years and this man is absolutely right. If you want your relationship to work you have to work on it and communicate, but you also need to compromise.
Beautiful!
he has genuine compassion for the common person
the left still attempt to brand him as they have no argument he can't just tear to pieces
he scares them so must be demonized
trouble is
what he is saying is not only truthful but researched and proven by both history and science
we need more people like him
thankfully we have his daughter too but his kind is rare today and our world sorely need them
best wishes and much love to all
I have been thinking about it for a while now, I get anxious when it's time for my husband to come home, I want us not to talk , not look at each other basically I don't want to fake it anymore but it's not happening. I want out so bad but every time I bring it up he gets defensive and I feel guilty bcoz he tries but I just don't feel loved anymore. He just wants to keep me around so he won't have two broken marriages
Yup be honest and dont be afraid to talk it out , thats the secret recipe
Communication and mutual understanding is the key to everything social related... Something kids these days know nothing about... They rather keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves and create drama than to express and communicate to solve the issue
This might actually be the best thing I've heard him say of all the hundreds of videos of his I've watched. Sounds so simple and yet sometimes we all get so busy and tired and we don't stop to think about how ourselves and our partners.
Communication is key