In high school, a classmate got pregnant as a senior, and her parents kicked her out. She and her boyfriend, also in high school, started working and renting a room. I saw them again in college, now with a toddler. She would go to class while her boyfriend sat outside with their child. She would get out of class, take the child, and he'd go to his class. They couldn't afford childcare and did this for nearly 2 years, until they qualified for subsidized childcare, and they both then finished college while the boyfriend worked nights the whole time. I think about them often because they both really did give 100% to themselves, eachother and that cutie child of theirs.
I know a few people who’ve had kids during their high school years. Surprisingly they tend to be well off. One of them recently bought a house. Wish them nothing but success and the best.
Literally wish I give the whole video and comment more likes that just one… PRREEEEAAAACHHHHH!!!! People that think marriage is easy are delusional. It’s work! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I'm 38 married for 12yrs 2kids and I afraid to say I'm guilty of bad habits but I loved her take and preaches honesty keep it up guys u been keeping me going since the lock down last yr, oh yeah I'm from south Africa just know u guys got reach
People tend to forget marriage is a legal binding contract. It's more than just love. Unless you trust someone with all your assets and your life and death decision, don't get married. I see ppl getting married who don't even trust their partner to pay a bill on time, then wonder why their marriage is failing.
I think western culture relies heavily on romantic love while eastern cultures emphasize duty and sacrifice . I honestly think a blend of the two is needed because i know women who have been taken advantage of and suffered a lot in the latter situation.
Also depends where in the west. I'm from germany and was raised that marriage is work. That you have to put in lots of work into any kind of relationship. And yes, you can be raken advantage of or in my case taken for granted....
Romance fuels love. Sacrifice and duty go hand-in-hand to fuel mutual growth in life. Growth requires adaptation, but some people only want what they have in the moment and give up when that changes.
Preach’s “She don’t have to ask, I don’t have to ask,” moment just opened my eyes to my own marriage. I don’t ask my wife for anything, cause I’m simple, but she has to ask me to do things, cause I don’t think about it. I need to change.
Hey, no one's perfect. We all have aspects we can improve on. If you've just realised a fault of yours then as long as you strive to correct it to the best of your ability I'm sure she'll really appreciate it
Aye, we're all human. Sometimes it takes someone else to realize where we mess up at. Wishing you the best of luck in your improvement as well as the future
She's going to appreciate the effort so much! I'm happy for you actually admitting that you need to improve and I believe that you are heading in the right direction
Preach is so true. It’s the greatest feeling to be able to take care of someone who took care of you when you were down or low. Hard to beat that feeling.
Omg yes! I came from a very financially stable background so my younger years where smooth sailing where my husband's where not, 15 years later he spoils me ridiculously and he always says you stood by me while we had to glue shoe soles together and it brings tears to my eyes because I was so happy to paint and glue shoes together because it meant I could help save a dollar or two.
I had an older couple talk to me when I was waitressing (I believe it was their anniversary). The man told me the one thing you have to realize in order to make a relationship last is that in a relationship it is not 50/50. Sometimes you might be down and only able to give 20% while your partner is bringing 80%. Sometimes you may give 90% and your partner can only give 10%. He said a relationship is understanding that both people will have their ups and downs and true love is being there for one another through the ups and downs and making sure you are going to win the race together. Having each other’s back and keeping each other going even when they are down.
Considering that it takes loads of attention and work to making a home optimal to successfully raise children that produce something of value to society, a housewife's sacrifice of ego is admirable and valuable.
I've read somewhere that the work of a housewife values out to a job thats 6 figures, it's really a full time job and hard work. I don't understand the notion that house wives are lazy and leech off their husbands.
I second all of this. My wife asks me every time she is in the kitchen if I want anything. Because I get up and provide and when I come home I help with the kids. It’s a mutual love and respect between me and my lady. Sometimes she wants a lazy day. No problem. I got it. Sometimes I want a lazy day. No problem. She got it. We are a team and we always work together. To accomplish the end goal. Lots of money and we’ll behaved kids.
I always offer to cook for other people when I am cooking so as not to waste the effort I spend cooking and to prevent spending more time I otherwise wouldn't have needed to spend in order to cook for other people. Me spending the time cooking for them while I am already cooking saves them time cooking later, not to mention money on the gas bill.
My grandfather used to say, "Everything in life has its price. Some you pay with money, others with patience and others with your emotional stability. Just need to find out what you need to pay and if that thing is worth paying it."
Her talking about demonizing her friend for being a stay at home mom hit me hard. I’m a college educated woman, who was making just under six figures and I walked away from it all to raise my kids while my husband works. A lot of my friends cut me out because they thought I lacked ambition, and those that stuck around always try to bash me on my decision saying “oh I could never do that, it sounds like hell”. Needless to say I’ve clipped a couple of branches from my friendship tree and am honestly 100x happier with spending time with my family and also having the time to focus on hobbies with my kids.
At the end of the day what does ambition accomplish but boost your ego and monetary accomplishments. What you have done is build a family, build a legacy, build a life. I’d rather look back at the life filled with love for my children and family than look back at a life driven by ambition for myself and career.
I wish there wasn’t such a stigma against stay at home moms. I worked so hard to earn my Bachelor’s in Nursing degree and I’ve put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into nursing, but eventually I am ready to give it up to be a stay at home mom for a while too. I would do it for as long as we can financially afford it because I really want to be present in my childrens’ lives and desire to give them my time.
I hear exactly what Preach is saying. When my parents got very old and they weren’t doing well any longer and I was the last surviving child being so much younger than my siblings I was proud to move home and help them out. My fellow boilermaker buddies couldn’t believe I would leave Alberta and go across the country just to help my parents and help them with their daily lives. I explained to them how they took care of me unconditionally for years and I felt it was the least I could do in their aged years since I could work pretty much anywhere. I can’t tell you how much they appreciated it even though they told me not to do it and I did it anyway. I didn’t love it all the time but I did it out of love and duty. Yes, I said it. Duty to my aging parents. I don’t regret it one bit now that they are passed away knowing they were both well cared for and knew they were loved. I miss them so much even though it was challenging AF at times. They were married for 60 years and they worked hard to stay married that long. Really hard and taught me that relationships take work. Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.
Yeah my mom regularly jokes about moving to a nursing home in her old age (as is the trend because children refuse to take care of parents nowadays) and it makes me feel sad. It's like she has already accepted I am gonna leave her. My mum is never going to a old age home as long as I am alive.
This moved me. I don't know you or your parents, miss - but I feel it's right to say that they are very proud of you.. "Grief is Love prevailing after Death."
the way she talks and her attitude toward marriage is so mature, and that's how it should be. Sometimes you have to do things for your partner, not because you want to, but because it's important for your partner, and this is something that should go both ways. this could be from making coffee in the morning or going to concerts or event that they are passionate about. when I look at people around me, it's all about how they can present their relationship online or how they brag about how magical their relationship is. it's so childish, nowadays if you don't follow somebody on twitter or instagram or don't like their posts, people treat you as if you have something against them.
Trust me, I’m naturally like this personality wise and I’ve been rejected many times. People don’t really want someone real and true. They say that but when they get everything you just stated, they don’t know how to act. I’ve given up on dating solely on this reason. Someone hasn’t shown me they’re worthy of having that type of balance in a relationship. Once someone does then I’ll try dating again. I’m always supportive and wanting to be there for my partner but I never get that in return. Dating isn’t for me right now.
In theory yes but in practice I think the human nature spoils everything. Taking advantage of other's kindness and not reciprocating, it's like most people are hungry for power and they want a servant.
That's because they don't look at marriage properly. Every she's saying is the bases of all marriages originally. The problem is people generally women look at celebrities and movies which are entertainment to give them their bases. What she is referring to is was marriage traditionally is.
@@Lexiannasam fuck. I think you just stated what's been going on in my mind lately. Thank you. Sincerely, A 21 year old just getting out of a 5 year relationship.
Love Magen! Got herself a good man who supports her, making her her outfits n lovin her, got herself some good in-laws who went to cheered for her when she wanted to do the body building contest that Mr. Moon made the outfits for. They all looked so proud of her 💕
When my wife and I first came to America I was 21 and she was 19. I was working 6-7 days a week as a CNA while supporting her through school and she would work weekends while being a full time student pursuing a MSN(masters of science in nursing) fast forward 5 years when she graduated and started working at Kaiser she was earning more then enough for the both of us. I went back to school and got my (BSN) while she supported us and paid off her student loans while paying for my schooling and our living expenses. It’s been 2 years since I graduated and we both only work 4 days a week with a very decent income and just bought our second home in Marin County California. My whole time while I was doing my schooling I felt bad for allot of the young adults around my age because they all lacked emotional maturity. Nobody around me was willing to sacrifice for their partner and vice versa. Very interesting the differences in priorities between American youth and immigrant youth. I apologize on my English it’s not my first language.
Perspective can make all the difference in the world. You gotta have a certain amount of faith and confidence to do what you did which a lot of people my age (I'm in college now) dont have. I have very little faith in any of my peers honestly, and even less confidence that I can find a woman that I'm compatible with. Things are different now than it has been in the past from what I understand, the rise of technology has come at a somewhat invisible but extreme cost. The current culture among young folks in the US is... disappointing. I.e. modern day hookup culture
Western men just can't keep women that's why their women divorce them, take half of their belongings and their kids , now that more and more western women are moving to Asia and getting married to asian men while western men are changing their own genders and even race (Oli London) western women are realising how marriage really works
My parents been telling me this since I was a kid. Marriage is a wonderful thing. But it's 100% from you and 100% from your spouse. It's not 50/50. Also my father told me this; to me your mother comes first, and to her I come first. To both of us our kids come first. That left a very profound message to me.
I'm a full on atheist, but anyone, atheist or not, who cannot admit that the book does have SOME good points is an idiot. If Aesop's fables can teach some good lessons, so can any other book.
This is hands down my favorite video. Seeing men appreciating what a real marriage is and how it should function lifts my spirit. It’s pretty unsettling hearing men and women asking asking each other what the other brings to the table for transaction means and not how they can be of service to one another. Marriage is not for the selfish, entitled, and faint of heart. It’s work. I’m not married yet, but one day I will be. This just gives me so much hope for men and women considering the times we’re in.
But that’s the sad thing . People are ok with their partner doing all the work and the other gets a free ride . That can’t work . You both have to put in
Been married to the same woman for 29 years now. This is so on point. You want a job to work, you do your duty. You want your business to work? Do your duty. You want to keep good friends? you do your duty. Marriage is no exception to this rule that is universal. The only major problems come when one or both stop or refuse to do so. Sometimes one of my kids will say "That's hard" when they need to do something. I always tell them "Yes, it might be hard. Everyone can to easy things but if you do the hard things you will succeed over all the people that don't and get the rewards that all of them never get." My reward is still being married and still being in love with someone that is in love with me too.
The moral of "you'll succeed over and get all the rewards other people don't get" instead of "do hard things cus it's good for your growth" is funnier cus of your pride 😂 (Not telling you how to raise your kids at all, just laughing at how you do)
@@seaofflowers. I mean that’s just the truth in life if you don’t put in 100% someone else will and they’ll reap the benefits of doing so while you won’t.
Glad to see some people are waking up from the traditions of our past, we can always do better. That's real freedom. Be married or not but make sure nobody has to suffer for not choosing one or the other.
I think what most folks get wrong is to expect a flawless relationship. You'll encounter many hardships, you'll be tempted to commit adultery. My wife and I had multiples affairs throughout our 17-year marriage. But we stayed together and are happier than ever.
I broke my feet today because I kicked my computer because someone commented that my videos are bad! I hate unjustified criticism. Please wish me a speedy recovery, dear neo
I make the coffee every morning, he empties the dishwasher, I pack our lunches for work, he cleans the kitty litter, when we get home I make the dinner, he loads up the dishes. WE ALWAYS THANK EACH OTHER FOR THE EFFORT. ITS BEAUTIFUL!
In the West we definitely glamorize individual achievement. Eastern cultures are typically more collectivistic, meaning they prioritize group harmony and emphasize the necessity of each role within the group to maintain that harmony. So I understand why it may have been a bit of a culture shock to see that being a stay at home mom is not only an acceptable idea, but a way of life that contributes to group harmony. It isn't inherently better nor worse than being an ambitious career woman. It simply is a way of life that works for some people.
I don't understand why the stay at home wife is demonzied here, while that not may be the lifestyle I want for me personally, I can respect if that's what a woman wants for her, I only hate when it's forced. I remember when I was a teen I had followed this feminist blog on tumblr and it's thanks to her I was able to grow up with that kind of healthy mindset, cause even she was against the demonization of the stay at home wife if the woman wants thats, cause it's her freedom of choice. If a woman chooses to be a housewife then that's her choice.
Hey guys i was raised by strict traditional korean parents. My parents really do see marriage and parenting as a duty. They fight often, and disagree on many things. However, ending the marriage is always out of the question. They have always put my education and future before anything else, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Having been raised this way, I would die of guilt if I was to prioritize personal needs before my responsibilities within the marriage and my duty to my child. However, having grown up in the west for most of my life, I’ve felt a lot of disconnect towards my view of marriage, and I’ve yet to find even just one girl who views marriage and child raising as a a serious duty and life-long commitment . Neither my peers or my parents really understand the disconnect of the two different views of marriage, so it was nice to see Aba and preach touch on the issue. :D
Or...you can be a self hating Asian whose parents sacrificed everything to come to the states, work their asses off, only for their children to be spoiled, entitled, and call them strict helicopter parents when it's often untrue just for clout and to appease white people who like their (nonexistent) progressive, exceptionalist egos stroked. If you haven't seen those articles or don't know which demographic I'm talking about, all good. Don't expect most to. To be clear, OP has a good, nuanced mindset and is kind of the opposite of the demographic I'm referring to. For some reason people think I'm defending strict parenting.
You have to find religious girls. They're the only group who have this mindset mainly in America. But to marry them you really have to convert too because they're typically very committed to their beliefs.
I feel like your guys channel is a big reason why I see things in such a mature way, and also having such a broad view of things. I understand and respect a lot of peoples views and actions because you guys give me a lot of knowledge and view of how things are not just in America. Appreciate everything you guys do and the content you put up.
Preaching to the ends of the earth. Lots of people never learn that a marriage is a garden. The more love people put into the garden, the brighter it blooms but the moment one or both partners start neglecting , taking or expecting from the garden, its almost always certain to fade. Love is work.
@@unfazedo The problem with that statement is always looking for the worst outcome. In that case why do you even go outside, drive, take airplanes? You have to let go of that pessimism or it'll bring you down one way or another.
I live in South Korea and I have followed Megan all these years. She put in a lot of labor to obtain her permanent residence visa to stay in Korea. Nice to see you guys do a video about her.
I love Megan. She has the right mindset as a foreigner living in S Korea. Some foreigners just get mad at the culture difference. But she tries to understand the culture and immerse herself in it. Also I love the video where she responds to all the girls that call Korean men f*** boys. She understands the dating culture in S Korea.
People now are too sensitive about everything , now everything is a problem ,they don't slove problems they just bring out on the table and use to be a victim in any situation .
I drop by her channel every once in a while and check in, they always teach me something even if its small. Plus they are jokes definitely would recommend.
I used to be subscribed to her - since her beginning on YT. I stopped watching cuz her videos became repetitive but I’m glad to see her here getting positive attention
I’m more of a traditional type of girl, ‘cause I wanna cook for my husband and clean the house. Just thinking about my husband being full and him knowing that the house is under control gives me so much happiness. Society has been and will continue to make traditional women seem like they’re wrong for being that way. Like chill out, traditional woman doesn’t mean that they think they’re less than a man.
@@FonsworldI’m sure it’s much harder to do that with a full time job and kids, but I’ll try when I can. My husband will understand. You can chill out tho ‘cause I didn’t say every woman had to be traditional. 🥴🥴
Being a housewife is a full-time job! Don't let anyone shame you for your aspirations, girl, it's a pretty dream you've got, and I pray you find a wonderful husband who'll compliment you and your traditional goals ^v^
It's a good decision you made, but just be careful okay. I mean to leave every financial concern to your partner, while you stay at home and clean, in this present economy is scary. Things do happen from left wing sometimes. What happens if he looses his job? Not saying he will, but that's a possibility.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that Megan Bowen would be the topic of your show, like….ever. I’ve literally watched her grow through out the years as a RUclipsrs in Korea.
Same. I remember when she was in that little tiny apartment when she first moved there. Remember she had that big mic she held while sitting on the floor filming lol. Love her.
riiight? Lol I was like wait is that megan bowen?? i didn't know she had gotten married. i haven't watched her in yeaaaars but its nice to see that shes doing well :)
That's exactly how my husband and I go through our marriage and it is a breath of fresh air. Two imperfect ppl just loving and serving each other and our offspring.
I was with my girlfriend for 10 years. I thought of it as a marriage, and approached it as such. But over the years, there was a decline. She stopped making lunches for me, stopped making food in general. I'm not a great cook at all, but I started trying to do that more. She didn't want to teach me, and she refused to eat anything I made. I did the laundry, but she refused to fold the clothes, and complained when I didn't. At a certain point, I even paid the majority of bills. Hell, when she was trying to push for a better career, I stayed at a job I fucking despised because it was steady and paid alright. Stability. She got a dog, which became my responsibility as well. It goes on like this. I wasn't a saint. I said and did things I regret, but the fact is that overall, I know I tried to make it work. We split up, and now I'm learning guitar, learning to dance, found a job I love that has great benefits. I'm getting out there and trying to meet people. The point is that Megan Moon is right. I may not have been perfect by any means, but I gave everything I could. I had a duty, and I fulfilled it to the best of my abilities. Edit: For the sake of expediency, and my own sanity, I'm copy and pasting MY FIRST REPLY right here, since I keep getting notifications from impatient, judgmental people who don't bother reading a single reply. And if I sound a tad irritated at this point, it's because I'm sick of getting notifications from the same mindless assholes trying to talk that good shit at me without proper information. My fault for posting online? Oh, yeah. Their fault for being a bunch of dumb fucks? Also, yes. "We were poor for most of our time together. She wanted to, "do it right" and have money put away, so we could have a big ceremony and such. I didn't care about that, and we discussed it a few times. We looked up wedding plans and all, but ultimately decided we thought of one another as married already. I'm the one who got sick of waiting. I bought king crab legs, her favorite, picked out a ring she'd adore, and got the dinner started before she got home. Nothing spectacular, but it was what I could do at the time." And for a little extra flavor: When I got a better paying job, and I started making good money, she decided to cheat on me with a younger guy. He had goals, like quitting his spot in a pharmacy to become a mall cop. Then she played the victim, and had the dog put down while I was stuck at work. So, no, I am not the fucking bad guy here, and fuck any of you who think the ring is what matters.
@@stephyworld8713 Understandable question. We were poor for most of our time together. She wanted to, "do it right" and have money put away, so we could have a big ceremony and such. I didn't care about that, and we discussed it a few times. We looked up wedding plans and all, but ultimately decided we thought of one another as married already. I'm the one who got sick of waiting. I bought king crab legs, her favorite, picked out a ring she'd adore, and got the dinner started before she got home. Nothing spectacular, but it was what I could do at the time.
You gave everything but your name. And if you knew she wanted marriage, but didn't ask, she may have gotten bitter/hurt. No enough to leave, but enough to stop giving you her all. Although you were giving her so much, you didn't/wouldn't give her what she really wanted.
@@mizbootsie8175 I did propose, but marriage was complicated in theory. She wanted to "do it right" and put away money for a ceremony, among many other things. There was a great deal of stuff she wanted, and yeah, I probably didn't give her what she was really after.
I went into this thinking “oh no, what are they gonna say about Megan”- Glad to see them appreciate her, also I love this video of hers and agree! I haven’t seen Megan’s videos in awhile- but still love them and her perspective
yah u would say that but ur actions say another in the west there is no culture there is nothing to stop u from ur self such as shaming. in the us and canada there are no barriers yall are literally incourged to be hoes and to chase ur career and have men around but never be with one and use all of them like females in western countries in general are a lost cost cause the culture cant change once it is set so stop saying shit that u never actually do
@@uncomfortabletruths7990 I spy with my little eye a guy who's never been in a relationship before. If this is your mindset, then you've never actually found a girl you've loved. Ugly guys don't want ugly girls, and ugly girls don't want ugly guys. Okay girls don't want okay guys and okay guys don't want okay girls, everyone wants someone pretty or cool. And straight up, guys have been encouraged to spread seed around g. You act like this shit is one way, niggas have BEEN out here saying hit it and quit it for centuries
@@uncomfortabletruths7990 You sound sad af, already preemptively assuming what a person did based on what's going on. You're just like those women that do the same shit to men, sad.
Marriage is obligation. That's not a bad thing, it's why you go from being "together" or "dating" to married. You trade your obligation to your spouse for their obligation to you. You exchange not looking out only for yourself anymore for the promise of having a partner in all things. Obligation is not a negative word.
An act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. You think every married would work out Kevin..that's mind too think this way but realistically speaking no ..there's Cheats and relationships problems too lead too having affair on spouse. And maybe your spouse become more unhealthy and trained 70 pounds ?? Or lose weight too , nowadays there different body type that peoples prefer. Be safe in this on going Pandemic Virus. Rip for those that deceased from Pandemic. P.s. Thank you for sharing your opinion Kevin , so I can share my. I hope if everyone sooner or later gets married.. it be for right reason. And really heart each other.
Totally related to “high school/ college” Megan. I never would have guessed that after graduation I wouldn’t be using my degree, “unsuccessful” by modern Western standards, and that the thing I truly want most in my life is to just be a wife and mother, and live a long happy life with my man. I work 3 hour shifts, 4 nights a week on a set schedule; he works 12 hour shifts for up to 7 days in a row before he gets a day off. He’s the provider, I’m the emotional support after a long day of work. He still cooks cuz I can’t for crap, so I keep our calendar organized and manage all our appointments and work schedules. I’m sure I look like that girl with “no ambition,” but it works for us and we bring what we’re good at to the table. I wish more people were saying this stuff, ESPECIALLY people in my generation. Loved this video, guys.
I think the organization, that often women are in charge of goes unrecognised or under valued by many. Often women are the ones to keep track of things, from insurance to birthdays, then getting those things sorted. Do you clean the house too? It used to be that women who didn't work or barely worked were in charge of child groups & other social activities, I think this should come back. Our local church is close to closing because of lack of attendees & it's all older women who are in charge of everything from flower arranging to organizing village fairs, Easter & Chrismad celebrations etc. The lack of support & cheap entertainment is a big problem ATM, it helps create a community, a support system & none working mothers (or father's, whichever the couple prefer) could fill that role really well.
@@jc_80 he could be enjoying it. My uncle enjoy ironing the clothes, he find it relaxing, his youngest son (my cousin) also found it relaxing and often got into an argument with his dad on who has to iron the clothes. He also love to do some cleaning around the house. My aunt took care of everything else, though, she's the very definition of a lioness, sharp, efficient, creative and not to be pissed off. It's good she got someone like my uncle.
A lot of people want the fantasy of the wedding, but aren't ready to contend with the reality of marriage. They want to have a baby, but don't want to raise a good human being. There's a lot in life that people are going to want and it's fine to want those things so long as you're willing to put in the effort to make that work for you, and once things start getting hard a lot of people quit.
Preach. I’m appreciating this comment because people talk about petty back and forth things rather than this. People need to realize these things before they get married but do it for attention or to check boxes. Especially with babies. I actually cringe whenever people post about their kids often because it feels like that’s, that person’s sole identity now and they seek validation through their kids.
@1 ignore @@av4781 she's infamous around here for hating men, I got into an argument with her before and she kept denying hating men, when it's obvious she hates men.
Relationships is like a martial art to me. White belt stage is like the honeymoon phase when you're excited to start, green belt is like when you get comfortable with the fundamentals with someone. Brown belt is when things get serious you meet the family etc, and black belt stage is when you get married. Thats when the real learning about someone starts. Just like when you earn your black belt, you begin the true path to mastery. And the path of your mastery for your love for each other REALLY begins Edit: I'm a judo black belt
Sadly all relationships I've had, I've been the one giving the 100% and over while my partner would probably only give 50% if I was lucky... Unfortunately this has caused me to not have the energy to go dating any more because I don't want to settle with someone that's only willing to give 50%.
It was the same for me. What I have learnt is that I'll give my 100 regardless and if they continue the 50 or less energy, I'll leave. Because I believe there are good men out there.
I know they say they don't hang out like that & they say they aren't "friends" or whatever.... but, this has to be one of the most authentic duo's ever... you know how much faith you gotta have in another to just let them play around your neck like that lmao
they say they're co-workers not friends because they dont go out and socialize when they're off the clock so much, because they know too much of a good thing turns it rotten.
I love hearing Preach talk about his wife. It puts a smile to my face to see a man so respectful of his partner. His love and commitment truly shines. Truly beautiful :)
This video is 100% FACT!!!! I have been married for almost 23 years to my husband and I want to go on the record. I AM MY HUSBAND'S EVERYTHING! I'm his chef, maid, secretary, financial advisor, cheerleader, wardrobe coordinator, pimple popper etc... and GLADLY! Now, I got to go. It's almost 7am Sunday morning and I've got coffee to make my man, breakfast and laundry to do. Why? Because its my duty! But I'm not throwing away the garbage either.
I'm not married, and I'm not even in a committed relationship, but this was wonderful advice that I will look back on in the future. Marriage isn't all positive, but being able to make it work because of the effort put into it sounds really nice. I enjoyed this video a lot!
I think one way to look at it would be that doing these dutiful things when it's hard or negative or when you don't feel like it is where the real love is at.
This was very encouraging. Been married for ten years but there has been a huge shift in our relationship since having our twin sons last year. To go from zero to two kids has been intense. Some days are really hard, but I’m blessed to stay at home with them while my husband goes to work and provides for us. Sometimes I become so focused on the boys and their needs, and I need to keep my attention on my husband as well. Our marriage has to stay strong for the kids, so the duty of wife is just as important as mom.
Good you recognise this. Husband was there first... he needs to be first in his own box. The kids first in their own box etc etc. Owise marriage will suffer.
Understandable too! 1 baby is Alot of work for a mom, add a second, whoa! I think what I appreciated most when my hubby and I were having our kids, was how understanding he also was with this phase of our lives. We both knew we were working hard for each other and our growing family, and both were forgiving and kind when we fell short of our duties to each other. It brought us closer, and helped us appreciate each other more.
There’s something to be said about how preach would do things for his wife at home while she was out at work, and to him that was just the intuitive thing to do. He didn’t ask for nothing back from his wife because he knew she was working hard to make the good money she was earning. People should be taking notes on what he said, because that’s how you make relationship last.
Yep my boyfriend jsut sat on his lazy ass “planning business proposals” (while playing on his phone/Xbox) and couldn’t even get a day job in the meantime. Meanwhile I made all the money, would cook all the dinners or order when I was tired cos he was too lazy to cook, he would have the audacity to complain that he had to clean the flat and wanted us to take turns 🤣 the only thing he was good for was taking out the rubbish and he even went on strike with that sometimes lol. I dumped the wasteman after 2 years of that, he ruined a 6 year relationship due to his entitlement
My husband cooks for me, cleans the house, makes me things without asking. I do the same for him without being asked. We appreciate and love each other more for it. It’s about care and respect. End of the day we believe that it’s both our house so we both need to contribute. When I’m working long hours he cooks and when he’s working and I’m off I’ll cook. We’ve been happily married for over 12 years now
I appreciate the hard truth and that's why ppl in America has so many failed marriages. To them they want to be the next power couple or they just take and take and there is no giving. However people don't view it as an obligation when they married to the wrong person being they might be abusive, cheating, use drugs and etc. Soooo, we must do better in choosing our mate if we do choose to see it as an obligation and a duty.
True, but that's from the women's standpoint. I've yet to hear a guy wanting to be a power couple, and as primary "providers" we don't get the option to take and take, because all we actually get is sex and kids... And usually the sex falls off...
@MisMupp Maybe you should ask why out of all the available guys, they picked guys with those issues for marriage? Maybe pick the stable sane guy that loves you over the exciting bad boy with issues that you "can fix." Just saying. Also, that's not just for marriage. Don't bring the junky bad boy's kids to the good guy and expect to get a ring.
Marriages in Asia is quantity over quality. We marry here for duty and money, lots of people are unhappy in marriages here. In the US at least theyre honest and get a divorce.
@@djangomarine6658 I wanted to be a power couple with the right woman to build a legacy but now I’m questioning marriage due to how easily one can be divorce and it just doesn’t seem fair to men nowadays
A good way to know for sure if your partner is worth keeping is to cheat on them. See how they react and if they forgive you. That means they will work things out when your couple encounters the many hardships of the married life.
exactly. I'm not married but I put that same energy into my dating life. If I see a girl is not putting in effort to even try to date, then that's like a litmus test of what she would put in a relationship and eventually marraige. So I keep it moving and hope I find someone who is actually willing to do the work.
@@AmoebaInk Yeah, I'll clarify I'm not expecting 100% but at least the bare minimum. The girls I have dated don't even do the bare minimum and are oblivious to it. Simple stuff like just responding in a timely manner to texts and actually asking questions and curious about the person you are meeting on the date and not just giving one-line answers. etc stuff like that
The problem with 50/50, is that it is based in pride and selfishness. It leads to a lot more quarreling when things aren’t perfect. You weigh and measure everything just to make sure your spouse is doing their “fair share” in the relationship. You spend more time nit picking and making sure that everything is PERFECTLY fair, instead of actually communicating/ working together and trusting each other to do the right thing. Instead of saying “what do I get out of this?” every spouse should be saying “how can I better communicate with my spouse?” or “how can I show my spouse I love them?” If you learn to selflessly serve and better listen to your husband or wife, and contribute whole-heartedly (whether you are a housewife or not) to your roles, THAT IS 100/100. That is the standard people need to strive for, that’s the advice many therapists will give couples who struggle in their marriage. EVERYONE needs to hear this. It’s what keeps marriage successful, and ultimately, joyful and happy.
Yeah I agree, it seems it’s trying to imitate something out of self preservation but convincing themselves that you can get close to an intimate marriage as long as you are prepared to end it and become controlling. This sounds like a trauma response and usually these conversations only talk about surface level things not even time where someone might be sick and need caring for which involves sacrifice and the 50/50 being disbalanced. People are too prideful to admit that sacrifice and submission go hand in hand in any social dynamic with people where it’s mature and reciprocational. Whether it be with siblings or friendships. People clearly don’t practice these things in regular non romantic relationships to understand this. People have a fixation on only wanting to be in these dynamics if it’s only romantic and begin “practicing”. These people probably never learned how to nurture relationships and it shows through this 50/50 mentality.
To add onto this: dont stay with ANYONE who is not willing to give you 100 back. Too many people out here who will use up your 200% and not even put in effort. Give 100% and if that person doesnt want to do the same, its ok to leave and find someone who will
Honestly, the way I looked at marriages was 50/50. I never realized the way I was looking at it was so wrong. Just watching this video and looking at the comments, especially this one helped me see it was all based on selfishness. Yes, I love my bf, and we want to get married one day. But the way I was raised was based on "what can I get out of this situation/relationship? whats in it for me?" I gotta change that.
I actually think most people misunderstand the quote, "Get a job you love and you'll never work another day in your life." What it means, honestly, what it can only mean is that the work you put in won't feel useless and counterproductive. It will be work, but it won't tax you the same way a random job at McDonald's will. Writing the book you always wanted to write is clearly work, but its a passion you have and it's "your book" "your goal" so all the time and effort you put in is for you and your success. You are willing to put that time and work in to reach that goal.
100%… But people will always use any tools they can find to excuse laziness and lack of motivation or drive. It’s easier to blame other people for your own resent and discontent that way
@@Dakyta252 well when you actually enjoy doing that thing you are doing and earning income as a byproduct, you aren’t having to push yourself through the day like you would if you hated your job. If you are lucky enough to find a way to earn while doing something you actually love doing? That is ideal! Chances are if it is something you love to do anyway, it would have been something you would normally have done in your free time anyway if you worked doing something else, and you would have been doing it for free.
The quote is "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." What it means is, the work won't FEEL like work, because you love it, so it will be enjoyable. I love movies, and I also like to talk. If I ever get in a situation where I'm getting paid to watch movies and then talk about them, that would NOT feel like work, because I'd do it for free.
I feel relieved that I heard all these things, that there’s still people who know what it takes to build a marriage and who believe in having an ACTUAL choice, without other people’s judgement. Thanks so much for covering that video!
Mrs. Moon is a shining example of why people should travel while they're young. I moved to Germany at 21 and have since travelled all over. My world view has greatly changed and expanded. 16 years in Europe now and married with 3 children. There's no way in hell I would be grown up enough for my life if I hadn't have had those experiences. Mrs. Moon talking about how she had such a narrow view when she was younger. I totally felt that. Also Preach's preaching (lol) was totally on point. Y'all are some of the most intelligent guys on youtube and always have good insights. Love your content!
Preach is correct when he says marriage is like going to court. Make no mistake: marriage is a legally binding contract dictated by state or provincial laws in your jurisdiction. The problem is that most people getting married have no idea how the laws impact them in the event the marriage becomes non-functioning and someone files for divorce. Stay safe out there! Know your rights and responsibilities before you say “I do”.
I love Megan. I have been following her since hs. I'm a Caribbean American blaq woman and my boyfriend is Korean and it's a breath of fresh air. The West has become lazy and toxic when it comes to relationships.
I wish my mom was as mature as this woman. She divorced dad once he learned she had been cheating on him for years. She got full custody of me and my sister, and now I'm rarely allowed to see and spend time with him, no matter how much I beg her. It has been causing me a lot of pain and sadness.
Women commit adultery for various reasons. You should ask your mother what your father did. He may have neglected her or been abusive. Everything happens for a reason young man.
Really, so you would stay if your wife cheated on you. All I know is if a partner fails to do their duty, and goes past my pain threshold, ie cheating, lack of respect, trust, e.t.c. I'm out.
Its your right tp visit your dad. You can but maybe in secret. So at least he'd know if his babies are doing fine. My mom and dad weren't perfect because they annulled but I always remind my mom.that she shouldn't easily give up on things because she made my siblings and me miserable in the past because of her decisions. Shes trying her best and my dad is doing fine. He is a little weird but he's doing his own thing so I shouldnt be worried.
I had a professor (many moons ago- pun intended lol) who said and I carried this with me "The opposite of LOVE is not Hate it is SELFISHNESS" You prove love through selfless actions. Preach and Megan are providing great examples of this.... you do things even if you don't feel like it because you know the other person gets joy/happiness from it. You put their needs ahead of yours (to a certain extent). Now the kicker is you need to find some one who then reciprocates this and does not demand that you compromise your own growth (lose yourself). A one sided relationship is toxic. That is why as Preach said, marriage is not 50/50 but 100/100. You need to bring all of you to the table or it just doesn't work (because like Preach said: If one of you can only bring 90% as life ebbs and flows you have to make up the difference and bring in 110) Even though there isn't more than 100% but you get the premise. So we measure love with selflessness and selfishness. Just to clarify: Feminism was born out of a need for men to respect females. This means respecting a woman's choice. Whether she chose to be a home maker or a career woman there needs to be respect. Same with a man, if they chose to stay home and raise the kids or work. These choices need to be valued and respected. That is actual feminism. That ALL people (not just hetero norms) but all people should have equal opportunity to pursue their dreams. Women still get paid less than men. World wide girls are sold into child marriages, don't get educated, and are exploited. The western developed countries (American here) forget there is still so much left to do to help all women around the world. Feminism is about equality not hating or villainizing men. It's not about not allowing men to help you, it's about mutual respect. That message is lost often so just putting it out there. A woman choosing to be a stay at home mom is just as valid as a woman choosing to work etc.
Perfect comment!! 🙌 although I have seen that the opposite of love and hate is apathy, which I think can be argued that it includes a degree of selfishness.
Growing up my mother always used to say: "Duty first and pleasure last...". Its a principle that governs my approach to a lot of things, relationships included.
i'm a HUGE fan of Megans, way before she even met her hubby. And now I Ship them hard. She's awesome, he's awesome. I got protective when I saw her on you guy's thumbnai. Glad you guys backed her... 100
Just hearing this, no I don't feel like getting up to clean up around my bfs place while he's at work. But I'm happy thinking of how drained he must be late tonight coming home to a tidier place & a comfy bed with a little love note on his pillow. I'm so happy when I'm in a lecture, sitting in bed & this man walks in with a cappuccino/ hot chocolate or tea for me. I feel so loved & cared for and would really like for him to feel that way too ❤️
@@itwasmedio8302 bruh, are you stupid? She said she didn't FEEL like cleaning up, but she would do it anyway because just thinking about how happy that would make her bf makes her happy too. Learn to read
Ive been married 14 years, Real love is 10 percent romantic and 90 percent work. And I agree my husband doesn't have to tell me dinner on the table at 4 , it's there because I never have to tell him wake up and go to work to get our mortgage paid.
I grew up in a house where my dad was the breadwinner and my mom took care of me and my two brothers, and everything else. I get judged a lot of the time when people ask what my parents do, but they have their roles, they’re happy with them, and they both work extremely hard. My dad works at night and on weekends, and my mom has a ever-growing to-do list that includes essentials and also things that would make us all happy, like spending all day cooking a special dinner, or improving the landscaping of our yard, or putting up a new photo display on our wall. Not saying everyone has to have this division of labor, but also no one should judge it so quickly from the outside. I don’t usually comment, but this truly was one of your most important videos. Preach really did preach.
This is very true! The problem comes when a person raised under the har dynamic has internally adopted it and expects the same from their partner. The worst is when they TRY to change but it's all they saw in childhood, so it comes out some time into the relationship. For example, my husband's mom did everything while dad worked. I'm used to a more equal sharing. Husband came with the equal dynamic but dropped it shortly after marriage because he's used to a woman doing everything for him. That's a big problem because we both work full time and it's exhausting to have to pick up after a grown man. I've noticed that his mother is passive and is the house maid and cook now that they are both retired. Dad does a lot of sitting and fretting because he isn't working and he's used to having something to do. Mom is still cooking and cleaning everything but they're both older now and really need to divide the work or hire some help.
I have seen the master of the home my grandma any house that was family. She walked in she got stuff done everything organized. When my grandma came to live with us before she moved to florida. I would come in early 4am drunk and tired. She would be up I would ask grandma why you up. Im planning today's meal are you hungry? I would say no she would make me tea anyway. She would say im going do laundry put everything you have on in the pile. Im like I do my own laundry she goes not while I'm around. Any family gathering we had all the men would be pushed outside. Young children stay with the women. The teens go off she would run everything and no one questioned her. She was everything to everybody in the family
@Alina Kelle I don't know that it can be considered submissive. It is because someone sees how that household works and doesn't like it. Yet the people who are involved if they don't mind it. If it works for them we're looking at it from the inside out. The way I see it like you said everyone has the role that they must play. The roles can be assigned to anyone but they must be done to ensure the household is working correctly. The funny thing I have noticed with partners I have lived with. Since im accustomed to living alone I just do everything as fast as I can or postpone doing things for the weekend that whole chore wheel bs. Or chart don't micromanage my time I will just go against it lol
Marriage has never been a vehicle for your personal lifelong “happiness.” It has always been a platform of stability for future generations and the community.
Ok but what are you supposed to do with that . How are you supposed to be happy and married. Being depressed and married sounds kinda ND of shitty . And probably what my husband and I are going through.
@@taylorhagler5959 You can't rely on other people to make you happy. Happiness is created by Only you. It's your job in a relationship to come together and the both of you share your personal happiness with eachother. Unfortunately people don't realize this before they get married. Dating is supposed to teach them that the best way to be happy and success in relationship is to share a heart, not give a heart. Compromise but don't do too much. Expectations can exist and still be healthy whilst they remain reasonable. And like the OP said. When you find someone you can be happy with (because we as humans have the luxury of selection) someone that doesn't drag you down. Someone that will help you grow as you help them. Then you will be right for marriage. Which is an obligation to do eachother right and not fall off that track. It's a promise to support. But I don't agree that it has to be for future generations. Not every body needs to have or wants kids.
@@taylorhagler5959 I should clarify I didn't mean, "you" as in You, Taylor. I'm sorry if that came by like I was addressing you. I just meant in general. It's a very common conflict within people who are in relationships, that depend on others. And nothings gonna stop you from being happy and married. Have your marriage the way you and your partner wants. That's what matters.
At the same time, learn to find the deal breakers in the so-called "Alpha men" so you don't end up wasting precious time. Actually, those aren't even close to being Alpha; they're just ruining lives - both their' and others'. Alphas have good habits that some women consider boring! 😂
@@Farhan_049 exactly but most understand this wayy later after been broken. Most mens that women concider boring, beta male, are the ones the quality that women are looking for
I was just in my friend's wedding yesterday. At the reception the groom made a speech and he said "we always hear about relationships are supposed to be 50-50, and I use to think that as well. But being with this women has shown and taught me what 100-0 is. Marriage is about giving 100% of yourself" This man is 33 and my friend is 29. I've met people much older who still don't grasp that concept...
I *love* Megan Moon. I've been learning Korean for a few years now and she's the reason I got into the language and culture. So pumped to see her marry him. They're all the goals. His parents adore her as well and are just angelic in-laws.
I agree with Preach, it's 100/100. Living in the uk, I worked while my misses looked after the 3 kids, when my last child started play school my misses started working in a school, I switch jobs from support work to selling insurance from home, I get up in the morning help get the kids ready for school with her, (even tho I don't start work until 10) I wash up and cook the kids dinner for when the all get back, my misses cooks our dinner and washes up after, we do what needs to be done for our family and financial we all ways shared, we have a joint account and both salaries go in and we just live, I can honestly say I couldn't do this family life with anybody else. Preach and Aba keep the up the good work, your videos are funny, deep and one of the highlights of my day when the notification pops up. Bless up mi dawgs
I love that when Preach's Wife was making more than him. He didn't feel emasculated, he didn't look down on himself or get jealous. He simply asked himself: "What other things can I do to make up for what I can't currently provide." Maturity and humility will take you far.
Exactly. I’ve been with guys in the past that see me making more then think “if she can do it by herself, guess I’ll stop contributing.” Quickest way to end a relationship. Wanting to find ways to provide value to the relationship are a crucial part of relationships. In my current relationship it’s more traditional, and I think about making his life easier everyday 🥰
@@berrymckockiner5883 women have been let down too often by the traditional gener roles in relationships and its why we're slowly dominating certain higher paying professions, for example, In New Zealand there are more female lawyers then male lawyers making up 61% of all currently practing. If we encourage those typical roles women will just go back to being stomped on
@@kristianawilson9038 okay that's fine but then don't complain that you're single when you're 45, you can't have it both ways. Independent, strong feminists and relationships cannot coexist. It's one or the other. Imo we should start teaching girls it's either a career or a family, it's almost impossible to have both.
@@berrymckockiner5883 What a weird response to a comment talking about incompetent men leading more women to not go down tradition routes. It might be different for _you_ , but an intelligent person would rather be single than have a bad partner. Well-adjusted women won't cry about being single at 45 if it's a result of no good men around them. In general, *both* sexes need to be raised with good character so that someone would want to have them as a partner, if romance is what they want in their life.
The big lie people have been taught is “you don’t have to change” but in marriage the opposite is true. One line from Shrek 2 that always resonates with me is, “people change for the ones they love”. I’ve been married for about 4 years. I’ve changed a lot from the time my wife and I were merely dating. As my wife and I change, we love each other more, not less. I’m more patient and sensitive, and my wife is much more mellow and logical. And the best part? She doesn’t dog poop men online.
My husband and I have been married for over twenty years. We've spent only one day apart, in all that time and have had only one disagreement. This is how we live everyday. I never thought the younger generation would get this. I am glad.
Honestly this is the stuff that should be taught in schools. We need to up our society game and give it our 100% to make and prepare the best future for our next generation.
This was the role of the damily. Secular capitalism had tge destruction of family as one of the things to destroy for the sake of consumerism to translate to capital gain. These things discussed today are considered archaic esp if, those who believe in it ascribe to a faith.
@@randomness8819 How in the world do you reason that capitalism destroyed the family? It's welfare that destroyed the family and it's very plain to see in the data. Single motherhood covariates at like r = 0.8 with welfare per capita. I understand not everyone has taken a statistics course, so that may sound like technical jumbo. In plain language: welfare is almost the sole cause of increases single parent household rates. Why does welfare destroy the family? Because women stop valuing men as providers. Women rather remain single and have no duties to a husband when they're getting a government check. This explanation is further supported by the fact that divorces per marriage have increased right alongside the welfare rate too, and it's women that initiate 80% of divorces. The evidence strongly supports the conclusion that welfare is the primary cause of the relationship crisis we face here in North America, not capitalism.
@@BrutusAlbion In this case correlation is causation. Welfare bills are not caused by other factors; they're independent variables that are completely human caused. When welfare bills that increase welfare are passed, single motherhood rates follow with a short lag time. When bills that decrease welfare are passed, single motherhood rates follow with a short lag time. All the factors are there to conclude that single motherhood rates are strongly dependent on welfare.
My wife supported us for a few years while I ramped my business up during Covid. It was a struggle to keep up and some of her “friends” would look down at her because they didn’t know me that well. Well after three years of struggle, I’m making over 10x what she was at the time, but these chicks were all about her leaving and taking the kids.
someone’s gotta take out the trash, someone’s gotta feed the animals, someone’s gotta stay home with the baby, someone’s gotta make sure we look presentable at the social events, someone’s gotta be the funny one at uncomfortable moments, someone’s… It doesn’t matter who does it so long as, together, you’re better for it being done.
I think it's more of a problem of expecting so much from one person. That every need is supposed to be meet by one person is unrealistic. Having other friendships and hobbies with support systems outside the marriage is more holistic.
I feel like that is true, but I feel like along with high expectations. Some people just have that "disney" idea of the happily ever after concept of marriage. So once there is any kind of issue, they then just assume that their partner is no longer marriage material and "throw him in the bin" for lack of a better word. In other words, they throw away things that can easily be fixed, kind of like a doctor who would amputate your hand if you have a splinter.
@@imfineimokay3434 Wouldnt even say it's just Disney. What shows/ media actually portray realistic portrayal of marriage? Marriage is often times boring,but that doesnt sell. Theres a reason for the popularity of fifty shades, 365 days, sex and the city etc
@@imfineimokay3434 we have a materialist culture where things are no longer made to last and we produce a ton of trash, just mass consumerism not surprising when our relationships follow the same trajectory
Having children isn't one way street and it's journal and expensive however it's up the parents too how financially ready they both are. Never change yourself when go into a different race because that's way bad too start. Be Happy who you are ...Be yourself ..believe me when I say that, it easy for everyone ..I did my mistake in the past. Not everything on RUclips is show there real life, how can they ?? please everyone there's peoples edits things its not 100% accurate description of they life ..on the internet. Some do actually share a lot but I'm not saying not real it's for business entertainment. Be safe everyone.
and even if it’s not affordable it’s worth it to understand why certain traditions and customs have last all over the world as long as they have and what it took to keep it stable. that alone can give someone a lot of insight into how to handle adulthood
I was raised being taught the same thing as a Christian. My parents have been married for 33 years and they've been going on strong. My dad wanted to be a doctor but gave it up since my mom wanted to be a nurse and she was pregnant with my sister. He ended up working for a government and my mom graduated from nursing school the year I was born. She made more than my father due to her long hours. My dad mostly did the cooking and cleaning and always had something light for my mother to eat when she got home (she doesn't like eating heavy food when she gets home). They've had their disagreements throughout the years, but divorce never came up. I remember when I would get worried about them getting divorced due to how many of my classmates had divorced parents and the amount of stories in the media about them when I was younger😂 Just because people have different roles, doesn't mean you shouldn't put 100%. The both of you worked for the ring, now you have to fight to stay together. Doing things together shows you care. My parents eat dinner together, talk after my mom returns from work, pray, sing, and etc all together and it's nice to see. This shouldn't be uncommon since friends so this for each other, married couples should be doing this on a different level. If you see marriage as a business, you're missing the power of the "for better or for worse". You can work 8hrs or more at your job, but you are married 24/7 until your spouse dies or you divorce. Not everyday will be there day, and you need to step up so they can return the same energy or more when you need it!
A good way to know for sure if your partner is worth keeping is to cheat on them. See how they react and if they forgive you. That means they will have your back and work things out when your couple encounters the many hardships of the married life.
@@robertdevillieux3178 sounds toxic as hell and if you abuse my loyalty i would be done because I act out on being loyal and expect the same for my partner this is a really dumb way too test someone and don't come back crying when you ruined your relationship because of this
Sorry I'm all late! But PREACH! I'm newly divorced & part of the reason is I had to ask for tea when I was really sick with the flu years ago😒. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK!!! Needless to say this is why we are divorced because of the other party's lack of duty, entitlement mentality, lack of love & understanding love. I felt like a single mother the whole time, SMH! 🙄🤦🏽♀️ Very hard lesson learned & I walked away with a clear conscience, it can't be 100/10 for a marriage to work.🤷🏽♀️
Maybe not the most Preach has preached, but definitely top 3. Megan is also spot on. I’m engaged to someone from Japan and I see a lot of parallels to our relationship.
I am a traditional Christian and marriage being love that brings duty, companionship, tolerance is nothing new to me. That's just what it has always been. Some people today just want to be princes and princesses. That's the problem.
I would like to thank you, Preach, for validating my struggle. I couldn't stick to the college path. I wasn't challenged by the status quo. I have learned more about life and myself from others than any textbook. Since I took this path, I have not had the best run through jobs. I wanted to be the guy my fiance could depend on, the breadwinner, but after a few years, I had worked twice as many jobs as she had. She got promotions and makes more than me now in her current job. I felt like I wasn't contributing my share to our relationship, so I looked for other ways to support her. I got called whipped and a bottom by guys that I was friends with, but the ladies i was friends with got jealous as hell. knowing I learned how to give my wife a pedicure after a long day at work or I got a coffeemaker to make specialty coffees or teas for her to take to work. My wife is really tied lately, since I'm in between jobs, but she's grateful that I started doing more around our apartment cause she doesn't have to. That's how we are about to celebrate 17 years together in our early 30s. Relationships are work, romantic or otherwise. I was smiling as I listened to your victory on feeling like you could give back to your wife after she had your back. That's the best flex you can get! Proud of you! I hope I can get there myself soon, since my wife pushed me to finally publish my first book.
In high school, a classmate got pregnant as a senior, and her parents kicked her out. She and her boyfriend, also in high school, started working and renting a room. I saw them again in college, now with a toddler. She would go to class while her boyfriend sat outside with their child. She would get out of class, take the child, and he'd go to his class. They couldn't afford childcare and did this for nearly 2 years, until they qualified for subsidized childcare, and they both then finished college while the boyfriend worked nights the whole time. I think about them often because they both really did give 100% to themselves, eachother and that cutie child of theirs.
That's inspiring af. A lot of ppl aren't willing to put in the work to keep a family together. 😭
I know a few people who’ve had kids during their high school years. Surprisingly they tend to be well off. One of them recently bought a house. Wish them nothing but success and the best.
That's beautiful
@@sibusiso2841
Pfft.
Wow that's beautiful
We appreciate yall, go show Megan some love as well! Her video is linked at the top of the description of this video.
Literally wish I give the whole video and comment more likes that just one… PRREEEEAAAACHHHHH!!!!
People that think marriage is easy are delusional. It’s work! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you. I have been taking the easy way all this time😭. You open my eyes 👀.
I ap-Preach-iate you guys too
I'm 38 married for 12yrs 2kids and I afraid to say I'm guilty of bad habits but I loved her take and preaches honesty keep it up guys u been keeping me going since the lock down last yr, oh yeah I'm from south Africa just know u guys got reach
I learned alot thx guys!😊
People tend to forget marriage is a legal binding contract. It's more than just love. Unless you trust someone with all your assets and your life and death decision, don't get married. I see ppl getting married who don't even trust their partner to pay a bill on time, then wonder why their marriage is failing.
Facts
Its deeper than rap. You can't sacrifice long term to anything you're not fully invested in. It has to be 100/100.
When I fount out if you get married your partner's debt becomes your debt. Im like hold on this is crazy
Naw love don't come and go it is love, people think love is some ecstasy feeling.
Legit .
I think western culture relies heavily on romantic love while eastern cultures emphasize duty and sacrifice . I honestly think a blend of the two is needed because i know women who have been taken advantage of and suffered a lot in the latter situation.
Depends on where in the east because there are LOADS of eastern media and movies tv shows etc that have a heavy emphasis on romantic gibberish
Also depends where in the west. I'm from germany and was raised that marriage is work. That you have to put in lots of work into any kind of relationship. And yes, you can be raken advantage of or in my case taken for granted....
Romance fuels love. Sacrifice and duty go hand-in-hand to fuel mutual growth in life. Growth requires adaptation, but some people only want what they have in the moment and give up when that changes.
@Dr. xyz Pretty close.
nice passive aggressiveness
“Marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s 100/100. You give 100% of you and I give 100% of me.”
Preach that’s straight wisdom. I actually wrote that down.
Straight from full metal alchemist.
My mother just said this the other day
@@mistas89 holy shit your right from fma brotherhood at train station scene near the end of the show.
@@nickg7498 yuppp. You’re first person to recognize
✨
Preach’s “She don’t have to ask, I don’t have to ask,” moment just opened my eyes to my own marriage. I don’t ask my wife for anything, cause I’m simple, but she has to ask me to do things, cause I don’t think about it.
I need to change.
Hey, no one's perfect. We all have aspects we can improve on. If you've just realised a fault of yours then as long as you strive to correct it to the best of your ability I'm sure she'll really appreciate it
Yoooo we on the same boat
That realization is huge! Do your part but don't put too much pressure on yourself. May your union be blessed
Aye, we're all human. Sometimes it takes someone else to realize where we mess up at.
Wishing you the best of luck in your improvement as well as the future
She's going to appreciate the effort so much! I'm happy for you actually admitting that you need to improve and I believe that you are heading in the right direction
Preach is so true. It’s the greatest feeling to be able to take care of someone who took care of you when you were down or low. Hard to beat that feeling.
Omg yes! I came from a very financially stable background so my younger years where smooth sailing where my husband's where not, 15 years later he spoils me ridiculously and he always says you stood by me while we had to glue shoe soles together and it brings tears to my eyes because I was so happy to paint and glue shoes together because it meant I could help save a dollar or two.
that type of shit brings joyful tears to my eyes. 😊😭😭
@@athomewithtroy1690 you deserve every spoiling he brings you!
It’s heartwarming
@@athomewithtroy1690 hell yeah ❤️
I had an older couple talk to me when I was waitressing (I believe it was their anniversary). The man told me the one thing you have to realize in order to make a relationship last is that in a relationship it is not 50/50. Sometimes you might be down and only able to give 20% while your partner is bringing 80%. Sometimes you may give 90% and your partner can only give 10%. He said a relationship is understanding that both people will have their ups and downs and true love is being there for one another through the ups and downs and making sure you are going to win the race together. Having each other’s back and keeping each other going even when they are down.
MESSAGE!
That's what people don't understand life throws things at you unexpectedly, you may get sick, injured or lose a job but will the love still be there.🤔
Yup as long as its not always the same person giving more
I just want to say stop demonizing house wives. Their job is as respectful as working woman.They can be role model to many women.
Considering that it takes loads of attention and work to making a home optimal to successfully raise children that produce something of value to society, a housewife's sacrifice of ego is admirable and valuable.
Everyone should do what they want. I don't think there is anything bad about being housewife
I've read somewhere that the work of a housewife values out to a job thats 6 figures, it's really a full time job and hard work. I don't understand the notion that house wives are lazy and leech off their husbands.
I think it's because people confuse housewives with gold digging trophy wives. And they don't like thinking a little deeper about things.
@@videoquija6968 facts
I second all of this. My wife asks me every time she is in the kitchen if I want anything. Because I get up and provide and when I come home I help with the kids. It’s a mutual love and respect between me and my lady. Sometimes she wants a lazy day. No problem. I got it. Sometimes I want a lazy day. No problem. She got it. We are a team and we always work together. To accomplish the end goal. Lots of money and we’ll behaved kids.
Point Blank Period, that’s how it should be.
This is my husband & I, he’s truly my best friend!
This is the aim.
I always offer to cook for other people when I am cooking so as not to waste the effort I spend cooking and to prevent spending more time I otherwise wouldn't have needed to spend in order to cook for other people. Me spending the time cooking for them while I am already cooking saves them time cooking later, not to mention money on the gas bill.
@Alina Kelle hence why he talked about the lazy days theyre a team.
My grandfather used to say, "Everything in life has its price. Some you pay with money, others with patience and others with your emotional stability. Just need to find out what you need to pay and if that thing is worth paying it."
What a beautiful saying 👏
💯💎💎s
That’s deep man
Most Old folks are the one people need to hang out with. They have so much knowledge. I wish I could spend some time with few
wow, incredibly wise words, big up your grandfather, one can only hope and pray to be wise as him one day. 🙌
Her talking about demonizing her friend for being a stay at home mom hit me hard. I’m a college educated woman, who was making just under six figures and I walked away from it all to raise my kids while my husband works. A lot of my friends cut me out because they thought I lacked ambition, and those that stuck around always try to bash me on my decision saying “oh I could never do that, it sounds like hell”.
Needless to say I’ve clipped a couple of branches from my friendship tree and am honestly 100x happier with spending time with my family and also having the time to focus on hobbies with my kids.
❤❤ i love this. Enjoy your family
You chose what really matters. Yay!
At the end of the day what does ambition accomplish but boost your ego and monetary accomplishments. What you have done is build a family, build a legacy, build a life. I’d rather look back at the life filled with love for my children and family than look back at a life driven by ambition for myself and career.
@@ashaiyahoodye2285 exactly. Weve been taught that there is only one definition of success, and that is to be career driven.
I wish there wasn’t such a stigma against stay at home moms. I worked so hard to earn my Bachelor’s in Nursing degree and I’ve put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into nursing, but eventually I am ready to give it up to be a stay at home mom for a while too. I would do it for as long as we can financially afford it because I really want to be present in my childrens’ lives and desire to give them my time.
“We are equal but your taking out the trash”. That killed me, so right.
Hahah. The trash bin is right next to our door. My wife says “trash is full”
Does she means that men are trash ?
@@robertdevillieux3178 no, my guy no...
@@robertdevillieux3178 🤦🏿♂️
Exactly, I say the same thing to my husband. 😂
I hear exactly what Preach is saying. When my parents got very old and they weren’t doing well any longer and I was the last surviving child being so much younger than my siblings I was proud to move home and help them out. My fellow boilermaker buddies couldn’t believe I would leave Alberta and go across the country just to help my parents and help them with their daily lives. I explained to them how they took care of me unconditionally for years and I felt it was the least I could do in their aged years since I could work pretty much anywhere. I can’t tell you how much they appreciated it even though they told me not to do it and I did it anyway. I didn’t love it all the time but I did it out of love and duty. Yes, I said it. Duty to my aging parents. I don’t regret it one bit now that they are passed away knowing they were both well cared for and knew they were loved. I miss them so much even though it was challenging AF at times. They were married for 60 years and they worked hard to stay married that long. Really hard and taught me that relationships take work. Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.
Yeah my mom regularly jokes about moving to a nursing home in her old age (as is the trend because children refuse to take care of parents nowadays) and it makes me feel sad.
It's like she has already accepted I am gonna leave her. My mum is never going to a old age home as long as I am alive.
This moved me. I don't know you or your parents, miss - but I feel it's right to say that they are very proud of you..
"Grief is Love prevailing after Death."
good on you, love has duty as well otherwise it really is not love.
Thanks for your story. Brought a tear to my eye. I hope to do the same for my parents one day.
@@sam81345 Don't let your mom move in a nursing home. Those "caretakers" in there mistreat the elderly people.
the way she talks and her attitude toward marriage is so mature, and that's how it should be. Sometimes you have to do things for your partner, not because you want to, but because it's important for your partner, and this is something that should go both ways. this could be from making coffee in the morning or going to concerts or event that they are passionate about.
when I look at people around me, it's all about how they can present their relationship online or how they brag about how magical their relationship is. it's so childish, nowadays if you don't follow somebody on twitter or instagram or don't like their posts, people treat you as if you have something against them.
Trust me, I’m naturally like this personality wise and I’ve been rejected many times. People don’t really want someone real and true. They say that but when they get everything you just stated, they don’t know how to act. I’ve given up on dating solely on this reason. Someone hasn’t shown me they’re worthy of having that type of balance in a relationship. Once someone does then I’ll try dating again. I’m always supportive and wanting to be there for my partner but I never get that in return. Dating isn’t for me right now.
In theory yes but in practice I think the human nature spoils everything.
Taking advantage of other's kindness and not reciprocating, it's like most people are hungry for power and they want a servant.
That's because they don't look at marriage properly. Every she's saying is the bases of all marriages originally.
The problem is people generally women look at celebrities and movies which are entertainment to give them their bases.
What she is referring to is was marriage traditionally is.
@@Lexiannasam fuck. I think you just stated what's been going on in my mind lately. Thank you.
Sincerely,
A 21 year old just getting out of a 5 year relationship.
@@Lexiannasam yeah you don't sound crazy at all...
Love Magen! Got herself a good man who supports her, making her her outfits n lovin her, got herself some good in-laws who went to cheered for her when she wanted to do the body building contest that Mr. Moon made the outfits for. They all looked so proud of her 💕
💯💯💯💯
Facts love the relationship between Megan and mr Moon 💕
I remember that
Adore Megan!
She seems like a lovely girl & a perfectionist.
When my wife and I first came to America I was 21 and she was 19. I was working 6-7 days a week as a CNA while supporting her through school and she would work weekends while being a full time student pursuing a MSN(masters of science in nursing) fast forward 5 years when she graduated and started working at Kaiser she was earning more then enough for the both of us. I went back to school and got my (BSN) while she supported us and paid off her student loans while paying for my schooling and our living expenses. It’s been 2 years since I graduated and we both only work 4 days a week with a very decent income and just bought our second home in Marin County California. My whole time while I was doing my schooling I felt bad for allot of the young adults around my age because they all lacked emotional maturity. Nobody around me was willing to sacrifice for their partner and vice versa. Very interesting the differences in priorities between American youth and immigrant youth. I apologize on my English it’s not my first language.
Your English is fine, where you from ?
@@TheNaz1996 Punjab india, my wife is half German half Punjabi
Thank you for sharing!
Perspective can make all the difference in the world. You gotta have a certain amount of faith and confidence to do what you did which a lot of people my age (I'm in college now) dont have. I have very little faith in any of my peers honestly, and even less confidence that I can find a woman that I'm compatible with. Things are different now than it has been in the past from what I understand, the rise of technology has come at a somewhat invisible but extreme cost. The current culture among young folks in the US is... disappointing. I.e. modern day hookup culture
Great story, and your English is superb. You have an amazing wife, I am truly happy for you.
“It’s 100/100…” Realer shit has never been spoken. Y’all some real ones. This video needs to be in classrooms around the world
Yup
"realer"
This kind of exposure is what the United States really needs to hear right now. Its about duty and family which requires work. Thanks Aba and Preach
I believe we used to have that until our media sold us lies on how wonderful a “modern lifestyle” is.
@@roguewasbanned4746 yes plus social media didn’t help out either.
@@luisd8818 Stop blaming social media for your problems.
@@OHNO-k9l Well... if social media caused the problems and gave many a voice who shouldn't have been heard in the first place... who should we blame?
Western men just can't keep women that's why their women divorce them, take half of their belongings and their kids , now that more and more western women are moving to Asia and getting married to asian men while western men are changing their own genders and even race (Oli London) western women are realising how marriage really works
My parents been telling me this since I was a kid. Marriage is a wonderful thing. But it's 100% from you and 100% from your spouse. It's not 50/50.
Also my father told me this; to me your mother comes first, and to her I come first. To both of us our kids come first.
That left a very profound message to me.
Bless your dad 😭
What an incredible statement. May God bless you and your family!
It's such a big flex to be able to take care of people who have been there for you through the struggle
It's not even about pride it's just pure joy .
Best feeling ever.
What I want to do for my parents
Exactly I love the feeling
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
Amen ❤️ the Bible is full of wisdom:-)
Amen 🙏🏾 ❤️
I love how you shows us a verse of the bible.
not a religios man but the bible be spitting facts !
I'm a full on atheist, but anyone, atheist or not, who cannot admit that the book does have SOME good points is an idiot.
If Aesop's fables can teach some good lessons, so can any other book.
This is hands down my favorite video. Seeing men appreciating what a real marriage is and how it should function lifts my spirit. It’s pretty unsettling hearing men and women asking asking each other what the other brings to the table for transaction means and not how they can be of service to one another. Marriage is not for the selfish, entitled, and faint of heart. It’s work. I’m not married yet, but one day I will be. This just gives me so much hope for men and women considering the times we’re in.
Beautifully said. I agree with you. Hope you have a blessed day❤️
I think it’s reasonable to ask . I don’t want to date a man that’s dependable on me aka a bum.
not just men, women should also realise this.
But that’s the sad thing . People are ok with their partner doing all the work and the other gets a free ride . That can’t work . You both have to put in
@@amossutandi They mentioned women. Implying they don’t know what marriage really is.
I love how Preach is so passionate about how things are in his marriage, truly a happy man right there. 10:38
@@lisanefertiti or a relationship, idk if hes married my mistake for assuming that, point is he's happy with his partner.
@@ReaperOfHearts44 yeah he is
💖
Been married to the same woman for 29 years now. This is so on point. You want a job to work, you do your duty. You want your business to work? Do your duty. You want to keep good friends? you do your duty. Marriage is no exception to this rule that is universal. The only major problems come when one or both stop or refuse to do so. Sometimes one of my kids will say "That's hard" when they need to do something. I always tell them "Yes, it might be hard. Everyone can to easy things but if you do the hard things you will succeed over all the people that don't and get the rewards that all of them never get." My reward is still being married and still being in love with someone that is in love with me too.
The moral of "you'll succeed over and get all the rewards other people don't get"
instead of
"do hard things cus it's good for your growth" is funnier cus of your pride 😂
(Not telling you how to raise your kids at all, just laughing at how you do)
What kind of porn do you watch?
@@seaofflowers. Do you have kids?
@@seaofflowers. I mean that’s just the truth in life if you don’t put in 100% someone else will and they’ll reap the benefits of doing so while you won’t.
Its a full commitment. There is no such thing as 50-50. Preach is on point.
Glad to see some people are waking up from the traditions of our past, we can always do better. That's real freedom.
Be married or not but make sure nobody has to suffer for not choosing one or the other.
I think what most folks get wrong is to expect a flawless relationship. You'll encounter many hardships, you'll be tempted to commit adultery. My wife and I had multiples affairs throughout our 17-year marriage. But we stayed together and are happier than ever.
I broke my feet today because I kicked my computer because someone commented that my videos are bad! I hate unjustified criticism. Please wish me a speedy recovery, dear neo
@@robertdevillieux3178 lol wtf I mean sure but a majority of people wouldn’t be able to get past infidelity
Lol. So you guys still having the affairs or you’ve gotten past it
I make the coffee every morning, he empties the dishwasher, I pack our lunches for work, he cleans the kitty litter, when we get home I make the dinner, he loads up the dishes. WE ALWAYS THANK EACH OTHER FOR THE EFFORT. ITS BEAUTIFUL!
@@justicethedoggo3648 people like you are one of the reason this world is fcked up
In the West we definitely glamorize individual achievement. Eastern cultures are typically more collectivistic, meaning they prioritize group harmony and emphasize the necessity of each role within the group to maintain that harmony. So I understand why it may have been a bit of a culture shock to see that being a stay at home mom is not only an acceptable idea, but a way of life that contributes to group harmony. It isn't inherently better nor worse than being an ambitious career woman. It simply is a way of life that works for some people.
Exactly. Nothing more needs to be said.
I don't understand why the stay at home wife is demonzied here, while that not may be the lifestyle I want for me personally, I can respect if that's what a woman wants for her, I only hate when it's forced. I remember when I was a teen I had followed this feminist blog on tumblr and it's thanks to her I was able to grow up with that kind of healthy mindset, cause even she was against the demonization of the stay at home wife if the woman wants thats, cause it's her freedom of choice. If a woman chooses to be a housewife then that's her choice.
Hey guys i was raised by strict traditional korean parents. My parents really do see marriage and parenting as a duty. They fight often, and disagree on many things. However, ending the marriage is always out of the question. They have always put my education and future before anything else, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Having been raised this way, I would die of guilt if I was to prioritize personal needs before my responsibilities within the marriage and my duty to my child. However, having grown up in the west for most of my life, I’ve felt a lot of disconnect towards my view of marriage, and I’ve yet to find even just one girl who views marriage and child raising as a a serious duty and life-long commitment .
Neither my peers or my parents really understand the disconnect of the two different views of marriage, so it was nice to see Aba and preach touch on the issue. :D
I was raised that way as well and I'm from a southern Christian family.
@@c.c.l.9139 my family is Christian as well!
✊🏼✊🏼
Or...you can be a self hating Asian whose parents sacrificed everything to come to the states, work their asses off, only for their children to be spoiled, entitled, and call them strict helicopter parents when it's often untrue just for clout and to appease white people who like their (nonexistent) progressive, exceptionalist egos stroked. If you haven't seen those articles or don't know which demographic I'm talking about, all good. Don't expect most to.
To be clear, OP has a good, nuanced mindset and is kind of the opposite of the demographic I'm referring to. For some reason people think I'm defending strict parenting.
You have to find religious girls. They're the only group who have this mindset mainly in America. But to marry them you really have to convert too because they're typically very committed to their beliefs.
I feel like your guys channel is a big reason why I see things in such a mature way, and also having such a broad view of things. I understand and respect a lot of peoples views and actions because you guys give me a lot of knowledge and view of how things are not just in America. Appreciate everything you guys do and the content you put up.
Great comment, I can tell you have grown. Keep up the good work. 👍
Couldn’t agree more they have open my mind on some things
Same here
Preaching to the ends of the earth. Lots of people never learn that a marriage is a garden. The more love people put into the garden, the brighter it blooms but the moment one or both partners start neglecting , taking or expecting from the garden, its almost always certain to fade. Love is work.
*«Happy wife happy life»* is the best advice we can give to young men.
Marriage is a scam business. A pre divorce rape business one.
No happy spouse happy house is the best advice.
@@unfazedo The problem with that statement is always looking for the worst outcome. In that case why do you even go outside, drive, take airplanes? You have to let go of that pessimism or it'll bring you down one way or another.
@@av4781 no it's not "it's happy spouse happy house". It goes both ways.
I live in South Korea and I have followed Megan all these years. She put in a lot of labor to obtain her permanent residence visa to stay in Korea. Nice to see you guys do a video about her.
I love Megan. She has the right mindset as a foreigner living in S Korea. Some foreigners just get mad at the culture difference. But she tries to understand the culture and immerse herself in it. Also I love the video where she responds to all the girls that call Korean men f*** boys. She understands the dating culture in S Korea.
People now are too sensitive about everything , now everything is a problem ,they don't slove problems they just bring out on the table and use to be a victim in any situation .
What video does she respond to girls who call Korean men fboys?
@@monroe1308 Guess we'll never know
Well, if youre a foreign girl. Theyre fuckboys. They see foreigner girls as easy. its true
@@keymepx4428 only in murica
As a married woman, this 100%. You gotta work. EVERYBODY gotta work.
I've watched Megan for years and it's nice to see them giving her shine.
I drop by her channel every once in a while and check in, they always teach me something even if its small. Plus they are jokes definitely would recommend.
Same!! Back in her teaching in Korea days!!
Yeah I love her yt
I used to be subscribed to her - since her beginning on YT. I stopped watching cuz her videos became repetitive but I’m glad to see her here getting positive attention
@@UNKNOWN-ci7fu she’s addressed this many times. Her skin tone changes - she has made videos about it
I’m more of a traditional type of girl, ‘cause I wanna cook for my husband and clean the house. Just thinking about my husband being full and him knowing that the house is under control gives me so much happiness. Society has been and will continue to make traditional women seem like they’re wrong for being that way. Like chill out, traditional woman doesn’t mean that they think they’re less than a man.
So do you work full-time in addition to cleaning and cooking 100%
@@FonsworldI’m sure it’s much harder to do that with a full time job and kids, but I’ll try when I can. My husband will understand. You can chill out tho ‘cause I didn’t say every woman had to be traditional. 🥴🥴
Being a housewife is a full-time job! Don't let anyone shame you for your aspirations, girl, it's a pretty dream you've got, and I pray you find a wonderful husband who'll compliment you and your traditional goals ^v^
It's a good decision you made, but just be careful okay. I mean to leave every financial concern to your partner, while you stay at home and clean, in this present economy is scary. Things do happen from left wing sometimes. What happens if he looses his job? Not saying he will, but that's a possibility.
@@hannatuibe8491 I still plan on having a job, just a remote one. I didn’t make that very clear in my original post 😅
I love how Aba is just standing there smiling while Preach is talking. He knows what's up :)
tbf preach is married while aba is not. probably didnt wanna speak too much on something he isnt experiencing himself(probably)
Yeah I enjoy when Preach speaks.
Yes.. they both do It, Its cool And nicely civil:)
But I would say that Preach do it more often, Aba likes to listen to himself..:))
He got this, he...got this. LOL
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that Megan Bowen would be the topic of your show, like….ever. I’ve literally watched her grow through out the years as a RUclipsrs in Korea.
SAME i was shocked to see megan. lol i loveee her. went to korea to teach cuz of her
I used to watch her a little bit but I forgot her name. When I saw the thumbnail for this video I was like no way 😂 I’ve found her again!
Same. I remember when she was in that little tiny apartment when she first moved there. Remember she had that big mic she held while sitting on the floor filming lol. Love her.
I know right it's crazy, I've been watching her since I was in middle school and now I'm in college, that's 8 whole years for me!!!
riiight? Lol I was like wait is that megan bowen?? i didn't know she had gotten married. i haven't watched her in yeaaaars but its nice to see that shes doing well :)
That's exactly how my husband and I go through our marriage and it is a breath of fresh air. Two imperfect ppl just loving and serving each other and our offspring.
I was with my girlfriend for 10 years. I thought of it as a marriage, and approached it as such. But over the years, there was a decline. She stopped making lunches for me, stopped making food in general. I'm not a great cook at all, but I started trying to do that more. She didn't want to teach me, and she refused to eat anything I made. I did the laundry, but she refused to fold the clothes, and complained when I didn't. At a certain point, I even paid the majority of bills. Hell, when she was trying to push for a better career, I stayed at a job I fucking despised because it was steady and paid alright. Stability. She got a dog, which became my responsibility as well. It goes on like this.
I wasn't a saint. I said and did things I regret, but the fact is that overall, I know I tried to make it work. We split up, and now I'm learning guitar, learning to dance, found a job I love that has great benefits. I'm getting out there and trying to meet people. The point is that Megan Moon is right. I may not have been perfect by any means, but I gave everything I could. I had a duty, and I fulfilled it to the best of my abilities.
Edit: For the sake of expediency, and my own sanity, I'm copy and pasting MY FIRST REPLY right here, since I keep getting notifications from impatient, judgmental people who don't bother reading a single reply. And if I sound a tad irritated at this point, it's because I'm sick of getting notifications from the same mindless assholes trying to talk that good shit at me without proper information. My fault for posting online? Oh, yeah. Their fault for being a bunch of dumb fucks? Also, yes.
"We were poor for most of our time together. She wanted to, "do it right" and have money put away, so we could have a big ceremony and such. I didn't care about that, and we discussed it a few times. We looked up wedding plans and all, but ultimately decided we thought of one another as married already. I'm the one who got sick of waiting. I bought king crab legs, her favorite, picked out a ring she'd adore, and got the dinner started before she got home. Nothing spectacular, but it was what I could do at the time."
And for a little extra flavor: When I got a better paying job, and I started making good money, she decided to cheat on me with a younger guy. He had goals, like quitting his spot in a pharmacy to become a mall cop. Then she played the victim, and had the dog put down while I was stuck at work. So, no, I am not the fucking bad guy here, and fuck any of you who think the ring is what matters.
Maybe because you didn't propose and marry her for 10 YEARS... She got tired of waiting?
@@stephyworld8713 Understandable question. We were poor for most of our time together. She wanted to, "do it right" and have money put away, so we could have a big ceremony and such. I didn't care about that, and we discussed it a few times. We looked up wedding plans and all, but ultimately decided we thought of one another as married already. I'm the one who got sick of waiting. I bought king crab legs, her favorite, picked out a ring she'd adore, and got the dinner started before she got home. Nothing spectacular, but it was what I could do at the time.
You gave everything but your name. And if you knew she wanted marriage, but didn't ask, she may have gotten bitter/hurt. No enough to leave, but enough to stop giving you her all. Although you were giving her so much, you didn't/wouldn't give her what she really wanted.
@@mizbootsie8175 I did propose, but marriage was complicated in theory. She wanted to "do it right" and put away money for a ceremony, among many other things. There was a great deal of stuff she wanted, and yeah, I probably didn't give her what she was really after.
Feel ya, been there, still moving on to the next chapter of my life after it.
I went into this thinking “oh no, what are they gonna say about Megan”-
Glad to see them appreciate her, also I love this video of hers and agree!
I haven’t seen Megan’s videos in awhile- but still love them and her perspective
same!
Same. Last one I watched was when her husband was doing her hair. So cute. She’s really thriving in Korea and I love to see it
Same.
I was nervous too, but ready to be keyboard warrior for Megan if this video went left...lol! 🤣🤣🤣
@@SmileeBandit lol
The way Preach rides for his wife.... BEAUTIFUL! So much wisdom between what Preach and Meagan shared!!!
This is the healthiest way to go through your relationships in general and through life. It's wholesome ❤️
I so wish to have a relationship like this
yah u would say that but ur actions say another in the west there is no culture there is nothing to stop u from ur self such as shaming. in the us and canada there are no barriers yall are literally incourged to be hoes and to chase ur career and have men around but never be with one and use all of them like females in western countries in general are a lost cost cause the culture cant change once it is set so stop saying shit that u never actually do
@@uncomfortabletruths7990 I spy with my little eye a guy who's never been in a relationship before.
If this is your mindset, then you've never actually found a girl you've loved. Ugly guys don't want ugly girls, and ugly girls don't want ugly guys. Okay girls don't want okay guys and okay guys don't want okay girls, everyone wants someone pretty or cool.
And straight up, guys have been encouraged to spread seed around g. You act like this shit is one way, niggas have BEEN out here saying hit it and quit it for centuries
@@uncomfortabletruths7990 You sound sad af, already preemptively assuming what a person did based on what's going on. You're just like those women that do the same shit to men, sad.
@@uncomfortabletruths7990 That's a horrible mindset. I can smell the incellery from miles away.
Marriage is obligation. That's not a bad thing, it's why you go from being "together" or "dating" to married. You trade your obligation to your spouse for their obligation to you. You exchange not looking out only for yourself anymore for the promise of having a partner in all things.
Obligation is not a negative word.
An act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. You think every married would work out Kevin..that's mind too think this way but realistically speaking no ..there's Cheats and relationships problems too lead too having affair on spouse. And maybe your spouse become more unhealthy and trained 70 pounds ?? Or lose weight too , nowadays there different body type that peoples prefer.
Be safe in this on going Pandemic Virus.
Rip for those that deceased from Pandemic.
P.s. Thank you for sharing your opinion Kevin , so I can share my.
I hope if everyone sooner or later gets married.. it be for right reason. And really heart each other.
Totally related to “high school/ college” Megan. I never would have guessed that after graduation I wouldn’t be using my degree, “unsuccessful” by modern Western standards, and that the thing I truly want most in my life is to just be a wife and mother, and live a long happy life with my man. I work 3 hour shifts, 4 nights a week on a set schedule; he works 12 hour shifts for up to 7 days in a row before he gets a day off. He’s the provider, I’m the emotional support after a long day of work. He still cooks cuz I can’t for crap, so I keep our calendar organized and manage all our appointments and work schedules. I’m sure I look like that girl with “no ambition,” but it works for us and we bring what we’re good at to the table. I wish more people were saying this stuff, ESPECIALLY people in my generation. Loved this video, guys.
I think the organization, that often women are in charge of goes unrecognised or under valued by many. Often women are the ones to keep track of things, from insurance to birthdays, then getting those things sorted. Do you clean the house too?
It used to be that women who didn't work or barely worked were in charge of child groups & other social activities, I think this should come back. Our local church is close to closing because of lack of attendees & it's all older women who are in charge of everything from flower arranging to organizing village fairs, Easter & Chrismad celebrations etc. The lack of support & cheap entertainment is a big problem ATM, it helps create a community, a support system & none working mothers (or father's, whichever the couple prefer) could fill that role really well.
How does he find the time to cook if he’s working 12hrs up to 7days; that’s exhausting
Learn to cook. Be useful
@@jc_80 Some people like to cook good food. My dad finds cooking relaxing, and my mom will often clean dishes after, or it gets put off, lol 😂
@@jc_80 he could be enjoying it. My uncle enjoy ironing the clothes, he find it relaxing, his youngest son (my cousin) also found it relaxing and often got into an argument with his dad on who has to iron the clothes. He also love to do some cleaning around the house. My aunt took care of everything else, though, she's the very definition of a lioness, sharp, efficient, creative and not to be pissed off. It's good she got someone like my uncle.
A lot of people want the fantasy of the wedding, but aren't ready to contend with the reality of marriage. They want to have a baby, but don't want to raise a good human being.
There's a lot in life that people are going to want and it's fine to want those things so long as you're willing to put in the effort to make that work for you, and once things start getting hard a lot of people quit.
Women
I remember some bridezillas I know...
Preach. I’m appreciating this comment because people talk about petty back and forth things rather than this. People need to realize these things before they get married but do it for attention or to check boxes. Especially with babies. I actually cringe whenever people post about their kids often because it feels like that’s, that person’s sole identity now and they seek validation through their kids.
@@royaltykonceptz Lol no. What's with the misogyny?
@1 ignore @@av4781 she's infamous around here for hating men, I got into an argument with her before and she kept denying hating men, when it's obvious she hates men.
Relationships is like a martial art to me. White belt stage is like the honeymoon phase when you're excited to start, green belt is like when you get comfortable with the fundamentals with someone. Brown belt is when things get serious you meet the family etc, and black belt stage is when you get married. Thats when the real learning about someone starts. Just like when you earn your black belt, you begin the true path to mastery. And the path of your mastery for your love for each other REALLY begins
Edit: I'm a judo black belt
Kool analogy 😎
relationships are like martial arts alright, you wanna do good you gotta punch frequently
Love this
@@pitbul2877 not really about that. There's an old saying. Sometimes you're the hammer other times you're the nail
Are you black belt in marriage/relationship? Lol hope you doing great in life my man
Sadly all relationships I've had, I've been the one giving the 100% and over while my partner would probably only give 50% if I was lucky... Unfortunately this has caused me to not have the energy to go dating any more because I don't want to settle with someone that's only willing to give 50%.
Yeah.. sadly not everyone is mr and mrs moon, especially in the west
It was the same for me. What I have learnt is that I'll give my 100 regardless and if they continue the 50 or less energy, I'll leave. Because I believe there are good men out there.
I know they say they don't hang out like that & they say they aren't "friends" or whatever.... but, this has to be one of the most authentic duo's ever... you know how much faith you gotta have in another to just let them play around your neck like that lmao
Their definition of friendship would mean most of us only have 1 or 2 friends maybe less.
they say they're co-workers not friends because they dont go out and socialize when they're off the clock so much, because they know too much of a good thing turns it rotten.
I think they spend enough time together doing the show that going out probably is kinda pointless except for special occasions. 🤷🏾♂️
I love hearing Preach talk about his wife. It puts a smile to my face to see a man so respectful of his partner. His love and commitment truly shines. Truly beautiful :)
They claim they're not friends but Aba knows a whole lot about Preach's relationship
Why do you guys care so much?😂
@@FabriceLabako because they're functional and friendly towards each other. It's hard to conceptualize it
@@FabriceLabako I never said I did. I had a realization and I expressed my opinion on it.
The way they make each other laugh, there’s now way they’re not friends
They said in a previous video they met and decided to have a purely work relationship at first. The friendship developed later.
This video is 100% FACT!!!! I have been married for almost 23 years to my husband and I want to go on the record. I AM MY HUSBAND'S EVERYTHING! I'm his chef, maid, secretary, financial advisor, cheerleader, wardrobe coordinator, pimple popper etc... and GLADLY! Now, I got to go. It's almost 7am Sunday morning and I've got coffee to make my man, breakfast and laundry to do. Why? Because its my duty! But I'm not throwing away the garbage either.
I'm not married, and I'm not even in a committed relationship, but this was wonderful advice that I will look back on in the future. Marriage isn't all positive, but being able to make it work because of the effort put into it sounds really nice. I enjoyed this video a lot!
I think one way to look at it would be that doing these dutiful things when it's hard or negative or when you don't feel like it is where the real love is at.
same for me, i will definitely apply this mindset to my future relationships, especially the 100/100 aspect.
I wish I didn’t get myself in one
100% love it
This was very encouraging. Been married for ten years but there has been a huge shift in our relationship since having our twin sons last year. To go from zero to two kids has been intense. Some days are really hard, but I’m blessed to stay at home with them while my husband goes to work and provides for us. Sometimes I become so focused on the boys and their needs, and I need to keep my attention on my husband as well. Our marriage has to stay strong for the kids, so the duty of wife is just as important as mom.
Good you recognise this. Husband was there first... he needs to be first in his own box. The kids first in their own box etc etc. Owise marriage will suffer.
good mama
Understandable too! 1 baby is Alot of work for a mom, add a second, whoa! I think what I appreciated most when my hubby and I were having our kids, was how understanding he also was with this phase of our lives. We both knew we were working hard for each other and our growing family, and both were forgiving and kind when we fell short of our duties to each other. It brought us closer, and helped us appreciate each other more.
Same. Had twins in January & it's so hard to balance the kids and hubby.
You and your husband got this. Take time to talk and share all the feelings you have on all topics. Your children are lucky to have you as parents.
There’s something to be said about how preach would do things for his wife at home while she was out at work, and to him that was just the intuitive thing to do. He didn’t ask for nothing back from his wife because he knew she was working hard to make the good money she was earning. People should be taking notes on what he said, because that’s how you make relationship last.
Yep my boyfriend jsut sat on his lazy ass “planning business proposals” (while playing on his phone/Xbox) and couldn’t even get a day job in the meantime. Meanwhile I made all the money, would cook all the dinners or order when I was tired cos he was too lazy to cook, he would have the audacity to complain that he had to clean the flat and wanted us to take turns 🤣 the only thing he was good for was taking out the rubbish and he even went on strike with that sometimes lol. I dumped the wasteman after 2 years of that, he ruined a 6 year relationship due to his entitlement
@@Natttttttttt you certainly made the right decision in leaving him.
@@BoofDoofus thanks. I’m disappointed that I waited so long. Oh well live and learn I’m still fairly young .
My husband cooks for me, cleans the house, makes me things without asking. I do the same for him without being asked. We appreciate and love each other more for it. It’s about care and respect. End of the day we believe that it’s both our house so we both need to contribute. When I’m working long hours he cooks and when he’s working and I’m off I’ll cook. We’ve been happily married for over 12 years now
Aba and Preach need to upload moreee. And bring back the Law & Order Face😂
You getting 3-5 videos a week. you gon OD on us if we do more. Just sub to the patreon if ya want more.
@Hominus Nocturna lol
@Hominus Nocturna nah it's the pin of Patreon Plug😂🐐
They need to upload more content related to women's issues.
LOL People are never satisfied
I appreciate the hard truth and that's why ppl in America has so many failed marriages. To them they want to be the next power couple or they just take and take and there is no giving. However people don't view it as an obligation when they married to the wrong person being they might be abusive, cheating, use drugs and etc. Soooo, we must do better in choosing our mate if we do choose to see it as an obligation and a duty.
True, but that's from the women's standpoint. I've yet to hear a guy wanting to be a power couple, and as primary "providers" we don't get the option to take and take, because all we actually get is sex and kids... And usually the sex falls off...
@MisMupp Maybe you should ask why out of all the available guys, they picked guys with those issues for marriage? Maybe pick the stable sane guy that loves you over the exciting bad boy with issues that you "can fix." Just saying. Also, that's not just for marriage. Don't bring the junky bad boy's kids to the good guy and expect to get a ring.
Marriages in Asia is quantity over quality. We marry here for duty and money, lots of people are unhappy in marriages here. In the US at least theyre honest and get a divorce.
@@djangomarine6658 I wanted to be a power couple with the right woman to build a legacy but now I’m questioning marriage due to how easily one can be divorce and it just doesn’t seem fair to men nowadays
A good way to know for sure if your partner is worth keeping is to cheat on them. See how they react and if they forgive you. That means they will work things out when your couple encounters the many hardships of the married life.
exactly. I'm not married but I put that same energy into my dating life. If I see a girl is not putting in effort to even try to date, then that's like a litmus test of what she would put in a relationship and eventually marraige. So I keep it moving and hope I find someone who is actually willing to do the work.
many though give off the energy of take, take, take and think that it is natural to be that way, no thanks.
@@AmoebaInk Yeah, I'll clarify I'm not expecting 100% but at least the bare minimum. The girls I have dated don't even do the bare minimum and are oblivious to it. Simple stuff like just responding in a timely manner to texts and actually asking questions and curious about the person you are meeting on the date and not just giving one-line answers. etc stuff like that
This was a much needed wake up call for me, oftentimes I have this romanticized version of marriage, ignoring the fact that it’s quite laborious.
The problem with 50/50, is that it is based in pride and selfishness. It leads to a lot more quarreling when things aren’t perfect. You weigh and measure everything just to make sure your spouse is doing their “fair share” in the relationship. You spend more time nit picking and making sure that everything is PERFECTLY fair, instead of actually communicating/ working together and trusting each other to do the right thing. Instead of saying “what do I get out of this?” every spouse should be saying “how can I better communicate with my spouse?” or “how can I show my spouse I love them?” If you learn to selflessly serve and better listen to your husband or wife, and contribute whole-heartedly (whether you are a housewife or not) to your roles, THAT IS 100/100. That is the standard people need to strive for, that’s the advice many therapists will give couples who struggle in their marriage. EVERYONE needs to hear this. It’s what keeps marriage successful, and ultimately, joyful and happy.
Yeah I agree, it seems it’s trying to imitate something out of self preservation but convincing themselves that you can get close to an intimate marriage as long as you are prepared to end it and become controlling. This sounds like a trauma response and usually these conversations only talk about surface level things not even time where someone might be sick and need caring for which involves sacrifice and the 50/50 being disbalanced. People are too prideful to admit that sacrifice and submission go hand in hand in any social dynamic with people where it’s mature and reciprocational. Whether it be with siblings or friendships. People clearly don’t practice these things in regular non romantic relationships to understand this. People have a fixation on only wanting to be in these dynamics if it’s only romantic and begin “practicing”. These people probably never learned how to nurture relationships and it shows through this 50/50 mentality.
To add onto this: dont stay with ANYONE who is not willing to give you 100 back. Too many people out here who will use up your 200% and not even put in effort. Give 100% and if that person doesnt want to do the same, its ok to leave and find someone who will
Agree
@@ritaevergreen7234 agree
Honestly, the way I looked at marriages was 50/50. I never realized the way I was looking at it was so wrong. Just watching this video and looking at the comments, especially this one helped me see it was all based on selfishness. Yes, I love my bf, and we want to get married one day. But the way I was raised was based on "what can I get out of this situation/relationship? whats in it for me?" I gotta change that.
I actually think most people misunderstand the quote, "Get a job you love and you'll never work another day in your life." What it means, honestly, what it can only mean is that the work you put in won't feel useless and counterproductive. It will be work, but it won't tax you the same way a random job at McDonald's will. Writing the book you always wanted to write is clearly work, but its a passion you have and it's "your book" "your goal" so all the time and effort you put in is for you and your success. You are willing to put that time and work in to reach that goal.
100%…
But people will always use any tools they can find to excuse laziness and lack of motivation or drive. It’s easier to blame other people for your own resent and discontent that way
I always see it as u actually like the work u are doing,and when u do what u love time flies and u end up being fulfilled
@@Dakyta252 well when you actually enjoy doing that thing you are doing and earning income as a byproduct, you aren’t having to push yourself through the day like you would if you hated your job. If you are lucky enough to find a way to earn while doing something you actually love doing? That is ideal! Chances are if it is something you love to do anyway, it would have been something you would normally have done in your free time anyway if you worked doing something else, and you would have been doing it for free.
The quote is "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." What it means is, the work won't FEEL like work, because you love it, so it will be enjoyable. I love movies, and I also like to talk. If I ever get in a situation where I'm getting paid to watch movies and then talk about them, that would NOT feel like work, because I'd do it for free.
@@KiraBKADestroyerOfWorlds We are actually saying the exact same thing.
I feel relieved that I heard all these things, that there’s still people who know what it takes to build a marriage and who believe in having an ACTUAL choice, without other people’s judgement. Thanks so much for covering that video!
Good news: people believe in marriage
Bad news: they're in S. Korea
Marriage became obsolete in the west.
It’s so rare to see a healthy marriage during these days, real talk!
Mrs. Moon is a shining example of why people should travel while they're young. I moved to Germany at 21 and have since travelled all over. My world view has greatly changed and expanded. 16 years in Europe now and married with 3 children. There's no way in hell I would be grown up enough for my life if I hadn't have had those experiences.
Mrs. Moon talking about how she had such a narrow view when she was younger. I totally felt that. Also Preach's preaching (lol) was totally on point. Y'all are some of the most intelligent guys on youtube and always have good insights. Love your content!
Preach is correct when he says marriage is like going to court. Make no mistake: marriage is a legally binding contract dictated by state or provincial laws in your jurisdiction. The problem is that most people getting married have no idea how the laws impact them in the event the marriage becomes non-functioning and someone files for divorce. Stay safe out there! Know your rights and responsibilities before you say “I do”.
Exactly!! Marriage IS a contract.
I love Megan. I have been following her since hs. I'm a Caribbean American blaq woman and my boyfriend is Korean and it's a breath of fresh air. The West has become lazy and toxic when it comes to relationships.
I found her when I was in college. I use to want to teach English in Korea.
When it comes to everythingggg
From the US and my boyfriend is not we have a good relationship
Yesssss!!!
Yea but isn't dating dying faster in Korea? People aren't marrying and having kids as before.
I wish my mom was as mature as this woman. She divorced dad once he learned she had been cheating on him for years. She got full custody of me and my sister, and now I'm rarely allowed to see and spend time with him, no matter how much I beg her. It has been causing me a lot of pain and sadness.
Just keep in touch with him you'll get through it and be free to see him
Women commit adultery for various reasons. You should ask your mother what your father did. He may have neglected her or been abusive. Everything happens for a reason young man.
Really, so you would stay if your wife cheated on you. All I know is if a partner fails to do their duty, and goes past my pain threshold, ie cheating, lack of respect, trust, e.t.c. I'm out.
Its your right tp visit your dad. You can but maybe in secret. So at least he'd know if his babies are doing fine. My mom and dad weren't perfect because they annulled but I always remind my mom.that she shouldn't easily give up on things because she made my siblings and me miserable in the past because of her decisions. Shes trying her best and my dad is doing fine. He is a little weird but he's doing his own thing so I shouldnt be worried.
@@oluwaseunfagbamila6946 My wife and myself had multiples affairs. We stayed together for our kids. Expecting a flawless marriage is unrealistic.
I had a professor (many moons ago- pun intended lol) who said and I carried this with me "The opposite of LOVE is not Hate it is SELFISHNESS" You prove love through selfless actions. Preach and Megan are providing great examples of this.... you do things even if you don't feel like it because you know the other person gets joy/happiness from it. You put their needs ahead of yours (to a certain extent). Now the kicker is you need to find some one who then reciprocates this and does not demand that you compromise your own growth (lose yourself). A one sided relationship is toxic. That is why as Preach said, marriage is not 50/50 but 100/100. You need to bring all of you to the table or it just doesn't work (because like Preach said: If one of you can only bring 90% as life ebbs and flows you have to make up the difference and bring in 110) Even though there isn't more than 100% but you get the premise. So we measure love with selflessness and selfishness.
Just to clarify: Feminism was born out of a need for men to respect females. This means respecting a woman's choice. Whether she chose to be a home maker or a career woman there needs to be respect. Same with a man, if they chose to stay home and raise the kids or work. These choices need to be valued and respected. That is actual feminism. That ALL people (not just hetero norms) but all people should have equal opportunity to pursue their dreams. Women still get paid less than men. World wide girls are sold into child marriages, don't get educated, and are exploited. The western developed countries (American here) forget there is still so much left to do to help all women around the world. Feminism is about equality not hating or villainizing men. It's not about not allowing men to help you, it's about mutual respect. That message is lost often so just putting it out there. A woman choosing to be a stay at home mom is just as valid as a woman choosing to work etc.
Perfect comment!! 🙌 although I have seen that the opposite of love and hate is apathy, which I think can be argued that it includes a degree of selfishness.
Preach said it perfectly well and a good perspective, marriage is “100/100 not 50/50”
These Guys are Real American Heroes. And they're Canadian. 🤣
Canada is part of the americas. The north part 🥸
@@mikealaniz7236 Relax Wokian. When People say American they're typically referring to the U.S.
@@juanpena7098 That Part 🤣
Bruh 😂😂😂😂
South America, North America, the Soccer team America, hispanic females named America, & then there is "The United States Of America"
Growing up my mother always used to say: "Duty first and pleasure last...". Its a principle that governs my approach to a lot of things, relationships included.
i'm a HUGE fan of Megans, way before she even met her hubby. And now I Ship them hard. She's awesome, he's awesome. I got protective when I saw her on you guy's thumbnai.
Glad you guys backed her...
100
💯
Just hearing this, no I don't feel like getting up to clean up around my bfs place while he's at work. But I'm happy thinking of how drained he must be late tonight coming home to a tidier place & a comfy bed with a little love note on his pillow. I'm so happy when I'm in a lecture, sitting in bed & this man walks in with a cappuccino/ hot chocolate or tea for me. I feel so loved & cared for and would really like for him to feel that way too ❤️
@@itwasmedio8302 BRUHHHHHH who the FUCK hurt you my guy 😂🥲 Calmãté Nino
@@itwasmedio8302 bruh, are you stupid? She said she didn't FEEL like cleaning up, but she would do it anyway because just thinking about how happy that would make her bf makes her happy too. Learn to read
Ive been married 14 years, Real love is 10 percent romantic and 90 percent work. And I agree my husband doesn't have to tell me dinner on the table at 4 , it's there because I never have to tell him wake up and go to work to get our mortgage paid.
Shidd i mean u could go to work too
@@adrenalean5308 Absolutely nothing wrong with being a housewife. This woman has the correct attitude.
All facts. Glad to hear stable couples can cooperate and are prosperous.
@@thecommenter9267 nothing wrong with being a housewife if there are children, otherwise the wife should work and bring some money into the house too.
@@kelliejackson3563 i didn't say there was anything wrong
I grew up in a house where my dad was the breadwinner and my mom took care of me and my two brothers, and everything else. I get judged a lot of the time when people ask what my parents do, but they have their roles, they’re happy with them, and they both work extremely hard. My dad works at night and on weekends, and my mom has a ever-growing to-do list that includes essentials and also things that would make us all happy, like spending all day cooking a special dinner, or improving the landscaping of our yard, or putting up a new photo display on our wall. Not saying everyone has to have this division of labor, but also no one should judge it so quickly from the outside.
I don’t usually comment, but this truly was one of your most important videos. Preach really did preach.
This is very true! The problem comes when a person raised under the har dynamic has internally adopted it and expects the same from their partner. The worst is when they TRY to change but it's all they saw in childhood, so it comes out some time into the relationship. For example, my husband's mom did everything while dad worked. I'm used to a more equal sharing. Husband came with the equal dynamic but dropped it shortly after marriage because he's used to a woman doing everything for him. That's a big problem because we both work full time and it's exhausting to have to pick up after a grown man. I've noticed that his mother is passive and is the house maid and cook now that they are both retired. Dad does a lot of sitting and fretting because he isn't working and he's used to having something to do. Mom is still cooking and cleaning everything but they're both older now and really need to divide the work or hire some help.
I have seen the master of the home my grandma any house that was family. She walked in she got stuff done everything organized. When my grandma came to live with us before she moved to florida. I would come in early 4am drunk and tired. She would be up I would ask grandma why you up. Im planning today's meal are you hungry? I would say no she would make me tea anyway. She would say im going do laundry put everything you have on in the pile. Im like I do my own laundry she goes not while I'm around. Any family gathering we had all the men would be pushed outside. Young children stay with the women. The teens go off she would run everything and no one questioned her. She was everything to everybody in the family
Who judged this??? That’s such an old fashioned way to live. I love that. Who would criticize that??
@Alina Kelle I don't know that it can be considered submissive. It is because someone sees how that household works and doesn't like it. Yet the people who are involved if they don't mind it. If it works for them we're looking at it from the inside out. The way I see it like you said everyone has the role that they must play. The roles can be assigned to anyone but they must be done to ensure the household is working correctly. The funny thing I have noticed with partners I have lived with. Since im accustomed to living alone I just do everything as fast as I can or postpone doing things for the weekend that whole chore wheel bs. Or chart don't micromanage my time I will just go against it lol
Marriage has never been a vehicle for your personal lifelong “happiness.” It has always been a platform of stability for future generations and the community.
Ok but what are you supposed to do with that . How are you supposed to be happy and married. Being depressed and married sounds kinda ND of shitty . And probably what my husband and I are going through.
@@taylorhagler5959 maybe addressing those feelings with yourself and your husband might be good but I am assuming so Im sorry about that
@@taylorhagler5959 You can't rely on other people to make you happy. Happiness is created by Only you.
It's your job in a relationship to come together and the both of you share your personal happiness with eachother.
Unfortunately people don't realize this before they get married.
Dating is supposed to teach them that the best way to be happy and success in relationship is to share a heart, not give a heart. Compromise but don't do too much. Expectations can exist and still be healthy whilst they remain reasonable.
And like the OP said. When you find someone you can be happy with (because we as humans have the luxury of selection) someone that doesn't drag you down. Someone that will help you grow as you help them. Then you will be right for marriage. Which is an obligation to do eachother right and not fall off that track. It's a promise to support.
But I don't agree that it has to be for future generations. Not every body needs to have or wants kids.
@@zenraloc never said I was relying on others to make me happy . I meant if the person wants to be happy being married may not be the way .
@@taylorhagler5959 I should clarify I didn't mean, "you" as in You, Taylor. I'm sorry if that came by like I was addressing you.
I just meant in general. It's a very common conflict within people who are in relationships, that depend on others.
And nothings gonna stop you from being happy and married. Have your marriage the way you and your partner wants. That's what matters.
Wow this has actually taught me alot, she is the type of wife and person I want to be. Thank you for sharing and reacting to this video.😁
At the same time, learn to find the deal breakers in the so-called "Alpha men" so you don't end up wasting precious time. Actually, those aren't even close to being Alpha; they're just ruining lives - both their' and others'. Alphas have good habits that some women consider boring! 😂
@@Farhan_049 exactly but most understand this wayy later after been broken.
Most mens that women concider boring, beta male, are the ones the quality that women are looking for
I was just in my friend's wedding yesterday. At the reception the groom made a speech and he said "we always hear about relationships are supposed to be 50-50, and I use to think that as well. But being with this women has shown and taught me what 100-0 is. Marriage is about giving 100% of yourself"
This man is 33 and my friend is 29. I've met people much older who still don't grasp that concept...
I *love* Megan Moon. I've been learning Korean for a few years now and she's the reason I got into the language and culture. So pumped to see her marry him. They're all the goals. His parents adore her as well and are just angelic in-laws.
I agree with Preach, it's 100/100. Living in the uk, I worked while my misses looked after the 3 kids, when my last child started play school my misses started working in a school, I switch jobs from support work to selling insurance from home, I get up in the morning help get the kids ready for school with her, (even tho I don't start work until 10) I wash up and cook the kids dinner for when the all get back, my misses cooks our dinner and washes up after, we do what needs to be done for our family and financial we all ways shared, we have a joint account and both salaries go in and we just live, I can honestly say I couldn't do this family life with anybody else. Preach and Aba keep the up the good work, your videos are funny, deep and one of the highlights of my day when the notification pops up. Bless up mi dawgs
I love that when Preach's Wife was making more than him. He didn't feel emasculated, he didn't look down on himself or get jealous. He simply asked himself:
"What other things can I do to make up for what I can't currently provide." Maturity and humility will take you far.
Exactly.
I’ve been with guys in the past that see me making more then think “if she can do it by herself, guess I’ll stop contributing.”
Quickest way to end a relationship.
Wanting to find ways to provide value to the relationship are a crucial part of relationships.
In my current relationship it’s more traditional, and I think about making his life easier everyday 🥰
It's unnatural though for roles reversed relationship, those type of relationships have a high divorce rate.
@@berrymckockiner5883 women have been let down too often by the traditional gener roles in relationships and its why we're slowly dominating certain higher paying professions, for example, In New Zealand there are more female lawyers then male lawyers making up 61% of all currently practing. If we encourage those typical roles women will just go back to being stomped on
@@kristianawilson9038 okay that's fine but then don't complain that you're single when you're 45, you can't have it both ways.
Independent, strong feminists and relationships cannot coexist. It's one or the other.
Imo we should start teaching girls it's either a career or a family, it's almost impossible to have both.
@@berrymckockiner5883 What a weird response to a comment talking about incompetent men leading more women to not go down tradition routes. It might be different for _you_ , but an intelligent person would rather be single than have a bad partner. Well-adjusted women won't cry about being single at 45 if it's a result of no good men around them. In general, *both* sexes need to be raised with good character so that someone would want to have them as a partner, if romance is what they want in their life.
The big lie people have been taught is “you don’t have to change” but in marriage the opposite is true. One line from Shrek 2 that always resonates with me is, “people change for the ones they love”. I’ve been married for about 4 years. I’ve changed a lot from the time my wife and I were merely dating. As my wife and I change, we love each other more, not less. I’m more patient and sensitive, and my wife is much more mellow and logical. And the best part? She doesn’t dog poop men online.
🥺
🌈Shrek🌈
Ive been saying this since 19 years old.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Bruh if I married someone with the last name Moon I’d literally be legally named Sailor Moon I can’t with that. 😂😂
wait that would be so cool
Whats wrong with Sailor Moon? Thats so cool!
@@lavenderteal8485 !!!
Reminds me of my ex saying my son should be called Linkin and take my surname: Linkin Park
I know a young man who refused to join the Navy because he never wanted to be called Seaman Shooter.
My husband and I have been married for over twenty years. We've spent only one day apart, in all that time and have had only one disagreement. This is how we live everyday. I never thought the younger generation would get this. I am glad.
Honestly this is the stuff that should be taught in schools. We need to up our society game and give it our 100% to make and prepare the best future for our next generation.
This was the role of the damily. Secular capitalism had tge destruction of family as one of the things to destroy for the sake of consumerism to translate to capital gain. These things discussed today are considered archaic esp if, those who believe in it ascribe to a faith.
@@randomness8819 How in the world do you reason that capitalism destroyed the family? It's welfare that destroyed the family and it's very plain to see in the data. Single motherhood covariates at like r = 0.8 with welfare per capita. I understand not everyone has taken a statistics course, so that may sound like technical jumbo. In plain language: welfare is almost the sole cause of increases single parent household rates.
Why does welfare destroy the family? Because women stop valuing men as providers. Women rather remain single and have no duties to a husband when they're getting a government check. This explanation is further supported by the fact that divorces per marriage have increased right alongside the welfare rate too, and it's women that initiate 80% of divorces.
The evidence strongly supports the conclusion that welfare is the primary cause of the relationship crisis we face here in North America, not capitalism.
Nah let s teach about the 110 genders and radical race theory
@@saintsword23 correlation is not causation. It's probably a factor but not the root cause. I strongly suspect it has a facilitator effect.
@@BrutusAlbion In this case correlation is causation. Welfare bills are not caused by other factors; they're independent variables that are completely human caused. When welfare bills that increase welfare are passed, single motherhood rates follow with a short lag time. When bills that decrease welfare are passed, single motherhood rates follow with a short lag time. All the factors are there to conclude that single motherhood rates are strongly dependent on welfare.
What a breath of fresh air this episode was.
From all the billionaire divorces that happened this year
💯
Positive vibes for sure
Positive vibes for sure
@@berniepina860 that positive you dropped it twice 💩😅
Dude's preaching af. His parents foreshot this 100%.
My wife supported us for a few years while I ramped my business up during Covid. It was a struggle to keep up and some of her “friends” would look down at her because they didn’t know me that well. Well after three years of struggle, I’m making over 10x what she was at the time, but these chicks were all about her leaving and taking the kids.
Preach was a real mood in this one 😂 and Aba just being his hype man, like "you go guy".
😄😄😄
They called the iso for preach all video, and he dropped 40
"we are equal, but I aint gonna put the garbage out, thats yo job" lol
Preach's wife keeping it real
someone’s gotta take out the trash, someone’s gotta feed the animals, someone’s gotta stay home with the baby, someone’s gotta make sure we look presentable at the social events, someone’s gotta be the funny one at uncomfortable moments, someone’s…
It doesn’t matter who does it so long as, together, you’re better for it being done.
I think it's more of a problem of expecting so much from one person. That every need is supposed to be meet by one person is unrealistic. Having other friendships and hobbies with support systems outside the marriage is more holistic.
I feel like that is true, but I feel like along with high expectations. Some people just have that "disney" idea of the happily ever after concept of marriage. So once there is any kind of issue, they then just assume that their partner is no longer marriage material and "throw him in the bin" for lack of a better word. In other words, they throw away things that can easily be fixed, kind of like a doctor who would amputate your hand if you have a splinter.
@Mighty Shortboy ole out!
@Mighty Shortboy Haha I'll be doing a preview and reaction on my channel.
@@imfineimokay3434 Wouldnt even say it's just Disney. What shows/ media actually portray realistic portrayal of marriage? Marriage is often times boring,but that doesnt sell. Theres a reason for the popularity of fifty shades, 365 days, sex and the city etc
@@imfineimokay3434 we have a materialist culture where things are no longer made to last and we produce a ton of trash, just mass consumerism not surprising when our relationships follow the same trajectory
Omg I love Megan so much. Seeing her grow through the years has been amazing. So glad her and Mr Moon are having a baby! 🥰❤️
Having children isn't one way street and it's journal and expensive however it's up the parents too how financially ready they both are.
Never change yourself when go into a different race because that's way bad too start.
Be Happy who you are ...Be yourself ..believe me when I say that, it easy for everyone ..I did my mistake in the past. Not everything on RUclips is show there real life, how can they ?? please everyone there's peoples edits things its not 100% accurate description of they life ..on the internet. Some do actually share a lot but I'm not saying not real it's for business entertainment.
Be safe everyone.
Update. They had twins 🥳🥳
This is why I encourage everyone to travel and observe other cultures.
and even if it’s not affordable it’s worth it to understand why certain traditions and customs have last all over the world as long as they have and what it took to keep it stable. that alone can give someone a lot of insight into how to handle adulthood
Korea is dying though. They're not pairing up and having kids.
Korea is one of the worst places to live as a woman
@@milenayashkina8641 tell that to indian women
@@alecgurney9305 I said "one of"...
I was raised being taught the same thing as a Christian. My parents have been married for 33 years and they've been going on strong. My dad wanted to be a doctor but gave it up since my mom wanted to be a nurse and she was pregnant with my sister. He ended up working for a government and my mom graduated from nursing school the year I was born. She made more than my father due to her long hours. My dad mostly did the cooking and cleaning and always had something light for my mother to eat when she got home (she doesn't like eating heavy food when she gets home). They've had their disagreements throughout the years, but divorce never came up. I remember when I would get worried about them getting divorced due to how many of my classmates had divorced parents and the amount of stories in the media about them when I was younger😂
Just because people have different roles, doesn't mean you shouldn't put 100%. The both of you worked for the ring, now you have to fight to stay together. Doing things together shows you care. My parents eat dinner together, talk after my mom returns from work, pray, sing, and etc all together and it's nice to see. This shouldn't be uncommon since friends so this for each other, married couples should be doing this on a different level. If you see marriage as a business, you're missing the power of the "for better or for worse". You can work 8hrs or more at your job, but you are married 24/7 until your spouse dies or you divorce. Not everyday will be there day, and you need to step up so they can return the same energy or more when you need it!
"Getting someone's back after they had yours". I appreciate these guys.
Sounds sus as hell when you quote it 🤣🤣
A good way to know for sure if your partner is worth keeping is to cheat on them. See how they react and if they forgive you. That means they will have your back and work things out when your couple encounters the many hardships of the married life.
@@robertdevillieux3178 sounds toxic as hell and if you abuse my loyalty i would be done because I act out on being loyal and expect the same for my partner this is a really dumb way too test someone and don't come back crying when you ruined your relationship because of this
Sorry I'm all late! But PREACH! I'm newly divorced & part of the reason is I had to ask for tea when I was really sick with the flu years ago😒. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK!!! Needless to say this is why we are divorced because of the other party's lack of duty, entitlement mentality, lack of love & understanding love. I felt like a single mother the whole time, SMH! 🙄🤦🏽♀️ Very hard lesson learned & I walked away with a clear conscience, it can't be 100/10 for a marriage to work.🤷🏽♀️
I love seeing the pride all over Preach as he talks of being able to be generous or give back to his loved ones. Respect. I am the same way.
Maybe not the most Preach has preached, but definitely top 3. Megan is also spot on. I’m engaged to someone from Japan and I see a lot of parallels to our relationship.
I am a traditional Christian and marriage being love that brings duty, companionship, tolerance is nothing new to me. That's just what it has always been. Some people today just want to be princes and princesses. That's the problem.
✊🏾
Yes. Bible teaches the way for a good marriage. It is interesting how the world is sort of realizing this in one way or another.
👏👏👏👏👏 As a Muslim, I feel you
@@infamouscrusader2183 right like its all in the bible😂
I would like to thank you, Preach, for validating my struggle. I couldn't stick to the college path. I wasn't challenged by the status quo. I have learned more about life and myself from others than any textbook. Since I took this path, I have not had the best run through jobs. I wanted to be the guy my fiance could depend on, the breadwinner, but after a few years, I had worked twice as many jobs as she had. She got promotions and makes more than me now in her current job. I felt like I wasn't contributing my share to our relationship, so I looked for other ways to support her. I got called whipped and a bottom by guys that I was friends with, but the ladies i was friends with got jealous as hell. knowing I learned how to give my wife a pedicure after a long day at work or I got a coffeemaker to make specialty coffees or teas for her to take to work. My wife is really tied lately, since I'm in between jobs, but she's grateful that I started doing more around our apartment cause she doesn't have to. That's how we are about to celebrate 17 years together in our early 30s. Relationships are work, romantic or otherwise. I was smiling as I listened to your victory on feeling like you could give back to your wife after she had your back. That's the best flex you can get! Proud of you! I hope I can get there myself soon, since my wife pushed me to finally publish my first book.