They don’t like the person you’ve become because it doesn’t go in their favor. NTA your wedding is about you and you don’t have to include anything or anyone you don’t want to
"Becoming someone they didn't like" oh, so you don't like that op won't be a doormat now that he's grown and has a spouse/partner to put first? Alright then, that's an easy super LC lol i'd only keep in contact so i could still contact my half-siblings, as they'd be not allowed to see me probably if i went full NC with dad and stepmom
I have 3 step sons and they are my boys but I will never ask them for anything like that. They have a mum I’m just someone who gets to love and support them share their lifes. Nta
Makes me wonder is the stepmom was an affair situation tbh coz for 3 years she was more than happy to be a stepmom while OPs mom was alive but just coz she passed away 3 years into the marriage she's suddenly supposed to be able to take her place and no longer be a step? This is the kind of behaviour you normally hear about from women marrying widowed men with very young children who should only remember them as a mom not their bio mom. So makes me wonder if stepmom was an affair partner who finally managed to take the husband from the 1st wife and since she passed away and the son came to live with them she sees it as her managing to take the whole family and pretend she was always the wife but OP is popping her little fantasy every time he says step
Love all the people missing the fact that its not about the stepmother. They werent doing any traditional parent roles. For him or her. Her parents accepted it. Her dad didnt freak out he wasnt walking her down the aisle, which would be bigger than a stupid dance. This is purely about his folks being pushy and overstepping boundaries.
NTA because you have made the decision with your fiance not to have specific dances at the wedding and it should be respected down the line plus if your father and stepmom have a problem with that then they're going to have to live without that traditional dance at your wedding or be uninvited period.
Nope they got pushy and you set a clear boundary maybe you could’ve told them that they would be uninvited if the brought it up again but that’s your propagating and your wedding
Naw. Nta. She's way too pushy. You can't just replace someone's mother. Attempting to fill a void with love and distraction is one thing... but seems like she's gone past the healthy realm and into weird obsessive controlling, possibly needing therapy her own self.
You’re not becoming anything they’re just mad that you won’t recognize someone who isn’t your mother as your mother they did cross a boundary and they should understand that when you say no, it means no and your stepmother is being selfish. You’ve already told her multiple times that you do not see her as your mother you see her as a stepmother, and she needs to get over that.
OP is not the AH but I think both sides are lack empathy. It’s not OPs responsibility and it is not owed to SM to have OP view her as a mother. No matter how many years or care given it’s not something anyone’s entitled to. End of discussion. That does not mean that SM doesn’t love OP as blood and spent what sounds like a couple decades fostering a one sided relationship. I’m sure that hurts badly. I think OPs dad needs to be more neutral and the one to foster a better pov for SM and Op, and enforce boundaries on both sides. I think OP should have verbalized the ultimatum before going through with it because as tough as they are, ultimatums are a part of boundary setting. While SM is heartbroken that she won’t ever get the same relationship in return, SM should not have crossed that boundary. She should not have crossed it with or without the warning.
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They don’t like the person you’ve become because it doesn’t go in their favor. NTA your wedding is about you and you don’t have to include anything or anyone you don’t want to
"Becoming someone they didn't like" oh, so you don't like that op won't be a doormat now that he's grown and has a spouse/partner to put first? Alright then, that's an easy super LC lol i'd only keep in contact so i could still contact my half-siblings, as they'd be not allowed to see me probably if i went full NC with dad and stepmom
You're Wedding your rules and your stepmother. Shouldn't be filling in for a mother. She's just a replacement
“You are turning into somebody we don’t like” what is the version of op they do like
I have 3 step sons and they are my boys but I will never ask them for anything like that. They have a mum I’m just someone who gets to love and support them share their lifes. Nta
Makes me wonder is the stepmom was an affair situation tbh coz for 3 years she was more than happy to be a stepmom while OPs mom was alive but just coz she passed away 3 years into the marriage she's suddenly supposed to be able to take her place and no longer be a step? This is the kind of behaviour you normally hear about from women marrying widowed men with very young children who should only remember them as a mom not their bio mom. So makes me wonder if stepmom was an affair partner who finally managed to take the husband from the 1st wife and since she passed away and the son came to live with them she sees it as her managing to take the whole family and pretend she was always the wife but OP is popping her little fantasy every time he says step
Maybe ask your parents how they would feel if it was their wedding and they were the ones being pressured to do something they didn’t want to do
Love all the people missing the fact that its not about the stepmother. They werent doing any traditional parent roles. For him or her. Her parents accepted it. Her dad didnt freak out he wasnt walking her down the aisle, which would be bigger than a stupid dance. This is purely about his folks being pushy and overstepping boundaries.
your wedding, your rules, its as simple as that.
Nta. if you don't see her as a mother and you have made that clear, there is no reason to have a mother son dance.
NTA because you have made the decision with your fiance not to have specific dances at the wedding and it should be respected down the line plus if your father and stepmom have a problem with that then they're going to have to live without that traditional dance at your wedding or be uninvited period.
its your wedding
Nope they got pushy and you set a clear boundary maybe you could’ve told them that they would be uninvited if the brought it up again but that’s your propagating and your wedding
It’s your wedding you make your decisions, not them
they dont like how they have no say in ops life anymore. simple as that
NTA it's YOUR wedding your rules
Naw. Nta.
She's way too pushy.
You can't just replace someone's mother. Attempting to fill a void with love and distraction is one thing... but seems like she's gone past the healthy realm and into weird obsessive controlling, possibly needing therapy her own self.
You’re not becoming anything they’re just mad that you won’t recognize someone who isn’t your mother as your mother they did cross a boundary and they should understand that when you say no, it means no and your stepmother is being selfish. You’ve already told her multiple times that you do not see her as your mother you see her as a stepmother, and she needs to get over that.
Bro i was sympathetic towards stepmom😭 that too only until the last line like da faq 😢 I'm glad op kept the distance
OP is not the AH but I think both sides are lack empathy. It’s not OPs responsibility and it is not owed to SM to have OP view her as a mother. No matter how many years or care given it’s not something anyone’s entitled to. End of discussion. That does not mean that SM doesn’t love OP as blood and spent what sounds like a couple decades fostering a one sided relationship. I’m sure that hurts badly. I think OPs dad needs to be more neutral and the one to foster a better pov for SM and Op, and enforce boundaries on both sides. I think OP should have verbalized the ultimatum before going through with it because as tough as they are, ultimatums are a part of boundary setting. While SM is heartbroken that she won’t ever get the same relationship in return, SM should not have crossed that boundary. She should not have crossed it with or without the warning.
“AnD uR bEcOmInG SoMeOnE wE DoNt LiKe” ok idc then why r u still trying to come to my wedding?