Becoming Trauma Informed Changed My Life | Carla Carlisle | TEDxCharlotte
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- Description: Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) impact children into adulthood without social buffering. ACEs increases a person’s likelihood of trying to die by suicide by as much as 1200%, I almost lost my child at the tender age of 6, and consistent exposure to his family’s intergenerational trauma impacted my own mental and physical well being. Trauma and mental health are as important as physical health, without advocacy and support, the impact can be devastating to the individual and society.
What do you want people to learn from your talk? I want people to learn two key things: the connection of mental health (especially ACEs) and physical health and the importance of everyone taking ownership by helping/advocating for those who didn’t have support as a child and their children (The Least and The Lost).
What action items do you want people to take away from your talk? Learn more about ACEs. Volunteer to provide support; via foster care, respite, donations, advocacy (legislative and other) - and to just be more kind and understanding that everyone wasn’t born into the same circumstances. Carla Carlisle is a speaker, author, and mental health advocate. Carla became a foster parent in 2010 to a baby boy born two months prematurely. Her relentless quest for motherhood would lead her on an eight-year, unconventional journey to rescue the child she now calls her son. Carla’s calling is to minimize/eliminate Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and their impact; focusing on family and children.
She is an active Board Member of the Alexander Children’s Foundation (Alexander Youth Network), Storyteller with Mental Health America of the Central Carolinas, and volunteers with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (Charlotte Chapter).
Carla works for a global financial services company in Charlotte, North Carolina. Carla earned her B.A. in sociology from Indiana University in Bloomington. She also earned an M.S. in human resources management from American University in Washington, D.C. and another in organizational development from Johns Hopkins University, Maryland. In addition, Carla has obtained a graduate certificate in change management from Johns Hopkins University. None of these degrees prepared her for loving and fighting for the life of the child of her heart. She is the proud mother of three boys and two dogs. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
There is so much courage and vulnerability in this woman, it can't be easy to relive those events, especially in front of a room full of strangers. Thank you for sharing your story.
Bill, thank you so much for your kind words. I love him so very much. Being his mom has changed my life in such a beautiful way.
So much admiration and respect
I honor you beautiful soul
Thank you for being such an inspiration and sharing your epic journey
So happy for what you have achieved ❤🥰✨
This is such a rollercoaster of a story, I'm so glad this woman and her son were finally able to make a loving and safe home for each other.
Thank you so much!
How I wish more children had someone to advocate like this for them.
That’s my goal! 💚
@@carlacarlisle1946 You deserve to reach it!
@@kendrasroom Thank you so very much. It really does take a village.
The power of persistence and determination is what I appreciate. She fought for freedom for her son and utilized trauma informed therapy and tools while in the battle.
This needs to be seen way more. Her experience in the adoption system is much more common that anyone tells us. Thankfully there are people like Carla!
Mary - thank you! I believe a broader audience will shine the light on the impact of trauma on our children. First comes awareness. Thank you for watching and commenting. 💚
Becoming trauma informed changed my life as well. Thank you for sharing your testimony. May God continue to richly bless you Carla and JC.
This gift you gave to your son is so beautiful.
Thank you for making me smile. Being his mom is my greatest gift. 💚
Being the advocate for another person is unfortunately a hard uphill battle. But it can sometimes be the only light in that person's life. Carla, you have done something so incredibly special. We may never know all the ways in which you have improved the world. Thank you!
Thank you! It’s been an honor!!!
Growing up, my neighbour was a foster parent and I spent a lot of time at her house and with her family. It was always so sad when the little ones, some as young as 18months old, would come back from a 2 or 3 days visitation with their family and do things like try and hoard food in their bedrooms or under couches, become exceedingly attached and clingy or even withdraw and stop. They would pick up after a few days back with my neighbour but either weekly or fortnightly they would go through it all again. While having some connection with birth parents can be important, the trauma they were reliving was clear. Surely there is a better way for these kids to build connections with their birth family while making sure their long-term mental well being is supported?
I’ve seen it as well. You have a unique perspective that most people don’t see. It is such a difficult balance. I know reunification is the goal when a child is taken from their parents. Unfortunately, the support and services the parents require isn’t always made available or accepted. This is something that must change. I support reunification when the child is safe and the parents accept and receive the support and services they require. Thank you for your comment.
From surviving, to thriving, to powerful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
thank you
your son will never forget your fight for him your love and kindness
God reward you and i am so glad you never gave up on Jessie
Understanding of Trauma (both big ‘T’ and little ‘t’) is becoming so much more available and I am so glad that this conversation and understanding is growing. Thank you for your talk.
Thank you for watching and helping to spread the word about the impact of trauma.
The clarity and conversation is really helping people move forward now
What a good woman and a great mom I am sure.
Thank you!
There are studies about how the mothers behaviours affect the child while in the womb, how trauma is inherited that way as well. This poor child is such a survivor and I really admire how hard this woman worked for him to get through it all.
Thank you for your kindness.
Im in tears Carla! You are amazing! What a powerful story!
Thank you so much. It was therapeutic to share and I hope it helps others!
What a great message, Carla. You've opened up and laid yourself bare, and brought an important message to the masses. Wonderful.
Thank you so much!
What a powerful and incredible woman. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and vulnerability.
Thank you for watching. 💚
This was an awesome presentation. I’m happy for dealing with my ACE’s in life and business. It’s making a great deal in my life. We must do the internal work to be our best self.
Happy for you. God bless !
Great talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
Thank you Arline. God bless you. This has been the biggest test leading to my testimony. God is good!
Yes absolutely we have to talk about this stuff to normalise it! So much of the work around dealing with trauma is getting over your own feelings of guilt and shame. But when we start to talk about it and realise those are normal feelings we start to blame ourselves less and that creates opportunities for healing.
Well said. So many people suffer in silence alone! We are in this together.
That poor boy. He is blessed that you gave all you could and fought for him. So few children have anything like this and fall through the cracks. My heart breaks for this reality.
It is overwhelming to think about sometime. That’s why I wanted to share our story. How many more children are in need of a loving advocate? I believe we can make a difference - probably in a smarter way than I sis. 💚 Thank you for watching and commenting.
@@carlacarlisle1946 it moved me, thank you.
The messed up so called 'care' system nearly ruined this wonderful woman's life, and nearly cost the life of a child. This idea that a child is best off with their parents no matter what is just so short sighted and dangerous.
This opening. I just felt so much.
Oh thank you so much! That was the intent - to grab your attention and drive the point home. I appreciate you!
Incredible! What a story 💜
Thank you for watching! I appreciate you.
Beautiful lady!
As a mum with 2 kids and an abusive ex husband we are working though trauma. Its not easy. Thank goodness we have God!
I don't think people who haven't been through something like this understand the full impact that physical violence can have on someone.
I am hoping our story helps provide a window into intergenerational trauma and the impact of physical and mental abuse & neglect. Thanks for your comment.
Working with families has taught me that all family members are impacted by trauma. The actions of parents are very likely informed by trauma they experienced as a child too. We are all children before we become parents. I recommend learning more about Ghosts in the Nursery. "Only when the mother's cries are heard, will she hear her child's cries." -Selma Fraiberg
The terrible part about this, is that her case is not the exception. I have met and heard of so many foster carers and adopting parents who go through this with the birth parents who are bad. Thank god for her!
I am glad you see that this one story is not unique. Unfortunately intergenerational trauma without intervention and support perpetuates this kind of pain. That’s one reason why advocacy is so critical. It can help break the cycle.
I hate how people spread both mother hate. Stop it. Most mothers do not do this.
I love this so much
Thank you Bernadette. What a labor of love. I hope you walked away feeling more informed about trauma and resilience. 💚
It is so sad she had to fight so hard for her son. If the system was better, he would never have gone back in the first place. The way the system is set up only sets individuals and families up for failure :(
While our journey was a hard one, I’m thankful that the system is getting educated about trauma and it’s impact. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!
My BF took his life at 23, I still can't get over it.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing what you need to take care of yourself. Therapy does help.
@@carlacarlisle1946 Thanks Carla, I am talking more to other people who seem depressed, I am trying to give them an ear that will listen.
@@phillipnorris3rd consider trying out for a TEDx talk. It is an amazing experience and can get your message out to the masses.
@@carlacarlisle1946 to raw for a stage for me
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Beauty from ashes!
He is not your son. He is her son. You are his long term caregiver.
Calling the mother of a child their "birth mom" and calling yourself that child's mother, is traumatizing to the mother of the child. You've learned nothing.
It could be triggering and upsetting for the mother.
If one cannot fulfill the purpose of a mother besides giving birth to them, and do not have the guts to get their child somewhere they will actually live
Then yes, they are the biological parent but they are not the mom