I'm commenting to represent the regular viewers who often don't comment but love your channel. I'm sure the general positivity gets outshined by the people who feel compelled to comment with strong opinions. Your transparency is the best part of your channel. We are here to watch you and the journey you are actually on, not a perfect representation of who we wish we would be during a budget or no-buy.
I second that. I love watching your journey Hannah. None of us have it all together. We are all working on things and because we are different our process is different. Keep going- you have a lot of people rooting for you 😎
Girl, trust me, I feel the same. The more transparent you are, the more you open yourself up to criticism. I feel and experience the same thing. It's deffo a case of "be yourself. but make sure that's exactly what I expect you to be". Sending lots of love!
Angelica Nyqvist I stopped reading beauty discussions because it feels just so exhausting, can’t imagine how it is for you guys. most participants in these discussions need to realize that, if they want to see a video done EXACTLY how they would do it, they need to turn on the camera themselves. your low buy would be my high buy and Hannah’s budget is at least 5 times higher than mine... and? I can always click somewhere else!
Be you just not too you, and not you in a way that disturbs anything about me, or makes me feel some type of way about anything. Wahooo so easy totally doable no pressure 😱😵
As you get your financial cards put into order, I would love to hear you speak about long term savings in the context of being self employed. How do you handle retirement savings? HSA savings? If you'd prefer not to speak to it, that's completely understandable, but i love to hear how other women are handling these long term concerns.
What you were saying about feeling like you were on top of managing your perfectionism last month but struggling again this month?? What a mood 😔 When I find myself there, I actually remind myself of something _you_ once said in another check in around our expectations that our lives will always be perfectly moving upward. Your monologue about that helps me remember that two steps forward, one step back is honestly the normal way of things. I don't suck and I'm not some abhorrent failure for having taken that step back. That step back is just the way life is sometimes, and I'll take some steps forward again soon. Hope your October is less stressful and goes well! 🧡🧡🧡
Yes, this! The last month has felt like a regression in my life, one of those steps back. And has coincided with my first month at my new job which was rough! But I'm working through and grateful to everyone putting reminders out into the world that life is not a linear progression upwards, it's messy!
I appreciate your openness in the documentation of this difficult journey. Be kind to yourself! The section where you talked about the relaxation attached to separating the money coming coming in and going out was fascinating to me. As some one who has lived paycheck to paycheck, I know that’s one of the biggest luxuries one can have, as it’s something many don’t have the privilege to experience, no matter how well they budget. To be clear, this isn’t me dismissing your feelings, although an awareness of that feeling as a privilege is important. Instead, I’m fascinated by how yolked by consumerism we can become, whereby even those who have the means to be financially secure are made to feel like they’re always broke, which leads them to consume above their means to get a taste of luxury, which in turn makes them less financially secure. It’s a vicious cycle we put ourselves through. If you got this far, Hannah, you’re an extraordinary person for what your doing. Even when you felt attacked online and your mental health was at a low point, your response was not to shy away from the internet, but to make yourself more vulnerable. I really hope you make that “2017 purchases” video. We may disagree on what classy looks like, but if this isn’t class, I don’t know what is. Hats off.
I've been lucky enough to have crawled out of the paycheck-to-paycheck hole in the past couple of years, and "lifestyle creep" is a phenomenon that totally fascinates me. Now that I'm out of the service industry, I have more contact with highly paid coworkers, so I can see firsthand how it happens that someone can earn more and more without ever experiencing the separation of money in & money out that Hannah talks about. My husband is about to graduate and start a job that will bring us solidly into the middle class for the first time, and we have been talking a LOT about avoiding lifestyle creep and finding a balance between "being able to enjoy things we couldn't before (like getting the really good name brand cheese)" and "spending more because we're earning more."
I completely understand. Growing up my whole life my family was extremely poor, we moved a lot to stay one step ahead if the streets and only eating once a day because that's all I could afford once I lived on my own. Im by no means well off now but I have savings and always know my bills will get paid but I'm still so stuck in the poor mentality growing up that I hesitate every time I go shopping.
Of all the “no buy” channels I have followed, your channel is the only one I continue to follow because of videos such as this one. I feel that you’ve maintained your integrity and clearly, transparency (pun intended lol) throughout your journey. I’m not a beauty product hoarder but I watch those videos from you still, because I don’t want to miss any little nugget of wisdom on conscious consumerism. Often, I go back and rewatch your no buy year videos because I find them inspiring and motivates me to become an even more conscious consumer. Please continue to create and share. For every hater, you have thousands of likers 😊
Anne you worded this so well! Like what continues to enthrall me about Hannah's channel is the wisdom her insights and experiences can offer to EVERYONE in this community, whether they struggle with the same issues or not. I love to shop, but I've never had an addiction or an issue with budgeting. My mom made sure I was good with money before I moved out on my own, so budgeting and impulse control with consumerism have never been problems for me. Yet I've still learned SO MUCH from Hannah and just become more thoughtful and conscientious about multiple aspects of my life because of thoughts Hannah has shared or sparked in my mind. We can all learn from her journey and use it to improve our own lives, and that's why this channel is worth following no matter what kind of "no-buy/low-buy/buy-all-the-things/whatever" year you're having!
I just wanted to say that I have been watching your channel for a while now and it's exactly what I crave from this kind of beauty related content. I had been getting somewhat frustrated by the simplicity of language. Your channel is a breath of fresh air and so enjoyable to watch.
Hannah, there’s a lot of scientific research to say that humans have optimal numbers of members of communities they can have connections with, the largest of which being around 1,500. Extended communities beyond these numbers is an unusual side effect of the internet. Its unsurprising you have an overwhelmed feeling. Just thought that maybe knowing there is science behind the feeling might make you feel a bit better ❤️
Interesting! I'm curious to see if this changes as gen z and beyond grow up with internet communities being a given? Will that optimal number increase, or will there be more community fatigue resulting in more hikikomori?
This feeling of community is lost after such a large number which I believe has triggered suicide in our youth. Hearing the voices of disdain and becoming isolated when we're more connected then ever.
I'm really glad you didn't edit out that part at the end, because I think it's exactly what some people need to realise. This isn't a channel where you're leading people to an enlightened, moral life where you lead them to spend exactly the right amount (and you spend the same amount that would be good for them, with their financial situation, despite whatever your own situation is). This is a channel showing us your journey and we can gleam your principals and lessons from it and apply it to our own lives if we wish. I really enjoy watching your journey and look forward to seeing what's to come :)
I have some thoughts about the “the more you open yourself up, the more you get criticised” experience you described in this video, particularly in relation to PR. The way I think about it is this - imagine you were a vegan RUclipsr who started a channel about being vegan. Your channel would come under immense scrutiny from other vegans, and every decision you made that wasn’t entirely aligned with the utmost standards of veganism would receive criticism from at least some portion of the vegan viewership. The act of declaring yourself vegan and making your channel focused on being vegan would therefore open you up to far more criticism and scrutiny than a youtuber who continued to eat meat would ever get. It’s very much a “do a little good and you get criticised for not being perfect, but if you don’t make any attempt to be good then people won’t criticise you at all” situation here. I imagine, in this analogy, that the act of you receiving PR would be like the vegan youtuber eating animal products but only from ‘animals that have a certified standard of living and whose products were ethically harvested’ as an exception to their vegan policy. Whether you thought that your consumption of those products was justified or not, you would get criticism because there would be a large portion of the audience who would perceive that as you having fallen short of their perfect standards of veganism. In other words, the existence of criticism is an inevitability if you fall any shade short of perfection. You have to accept that reality and not give it undue influence over you or your decision making process. I would also remember that the people criticising you are probably those who are having to undertake similar exercises as the budgeting/no buy year, and it is likely a difficult time for them and probably leading to a number of issues and spells of unhappiness in their lives. So it’s quite understandable that seeing you get all this PR, which is something they have to live without, would rub them the wrong way and create feelings of bitterness and annoyance. Receiving all the PR is obviously a crutch (whether it’s a significant or insignificant crutch is another matter) and so you can imagine why some people’s response will be ‘you don’t know what it’s really like, you don’t know how hard it is’, which would understandably lead to criticism of your channel for being out of touch. As a final point, I would also say that Angelica Nyqvist once made a comment in one of her videos about not hunting out things people say on forums about her because it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t intended for her eyes. I was curious one day so I went looking - and holy Christ the level of nastiness I read was repugnant. Especially considering that there is so little to complain about with her behaviour or channel, particularly in comparison to the influencers at the top. So it’s good to keep some healthy perspective and realise that a lot of the criticism has nothing to do with you - it’s very much a ‘they’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem. Oh, and just a passing thought - I suffered the same symptoms of tiredness you described for months before I realised that the cause was keeping myself in a constant caloric deficit and over exercising. Not sure if this will be applicable to you, but in case it is, a week of eating more than my recommended caloric intake made me feel a world of difference and helped identify the cause of the problem.
Very sensible and well balanced comment! I agree. I'm on Reddit but I do find it a little overwhelming and the criticism of people, while sometimes valid, do get me down. I think if I was reading that about myself I would not want to continue RUclips. I don't think it's meant for creators, as Anjelica said.
I have been absolutely flabbergasted at some of the things people say about my favorite RUclips personalities. I don’t subscribe to any of the big ones, I cannot relate to their lifestyle and they get SO MUCH PR, I don’t believe it’s easy for them to not be biased. So it amazes me that people would see some of the smaller ones and be so cruel. In general I would never do that to anyone so I don’t understand that desire to be awful towards another human. If they’re not your style, that’s fine just move on. I cannot wrap my brain around the need to be so hateful. I can’t imagine reading horrible comments directed toward me, my family, lifestyle, etc. It would be hard not to be devastated.
To me sounded like a tiny burnout. She has been tackling a lot. If she can manage to put a tiny bit less on her platter she should be back to amazingness very soon. Best of wishes Hannah
To me, it sounds like it could be a mix of a lot of things. Self care is what’s needed and maybe a StayCation… a weekend off from working. Time to decompress and just, enjoy being alive.
I feel you so much on the “waiting to be over”. I struggle to eat clean and keep weight off, like really struggle. I’ve worked out pretty seriously since I was 19 or so, but due to a few injuries my method of working out has changed. I’ve also done a few whole30s and try to eat accordingly. However, I often catch a little gremlin wondering when I can eat whatever I want and stop working out. The truth is... with the exception of taking a holiday off here and there.... the answer is never. And sometimes the reality is just the pits. You said in your description box that you didn’t want the ignore the haters advice. So I’ll just say that I’m here to follow along with your crazy messy life, and to support you as much as possible by clicking the links, liking, and commenting.
This is so interesting I was JUST talking to my friend Grace (we are both fans of ur channel obv) about how a lot of the criticism you receive is unfair especially since a lot of us don't understand and don't realize what your shopping habits/experience with overspending was before your no-buy year. If you decide to do it (+ feel ready to do so) I'd love to see a video about what you bought in 2017, because you really have come so far and like, I think the fact you receive curated PR is peanuts compared to feeling, as you said you did before, "you could buy whatever you want," even when that wasn't necessarily true. I have no idea what it's like to feel scrutinized by so many people and am really sensitive to criticism in my normal life so I just want to say I think you're doing a great job, keep going, take time away from the internet if you need it.
I watch you for your honesty/transparency! It is so fresh & truly inspiring. When RUclipsrs receive PR, I just look at it as a form of “pay”for the hours they pour into their work; there needs to be some compensation, so good for you! ❤️
I'm so grateful to have recently discovered and delved deep into your channel. I appreciate your dedication to self-examination and honesty so much, especially as it's such a brave thing to be a woman in the world, let alone on the internet, let alone in the open and critical way that you are. Thank you for doing your work in the world. I'm here for it in all its imperfect complexity.
Someone would have remembered you mentioning getting a brow pencil in PR and asked you about it. Your statement that your channel is not a self help channel is key. Your path is going to be and is individual to you. Admittedly part of me wanted to see you learn to budget without PR, because that is what I’m doing, but that is an unrealistic expectation/desire for me or anyone else to have. You do you as the kids say, and thank you for sharing, your honesty and vulnerability is very much appreciated Hannah.
The realistic complexity, self-analyzing poetry, you spew from your mouth as you tell us the story of your journey keeps everyone coming back! Adds REAL VALUE to your viewers' lives! I personally think you're a guide through the healing journey that I needed to through after falling down the beauty rabbit hole of the typical RUclips 'beauty guru'. You're not telling us that we 'NEED' thing after thing to feel whole. I hope you keep up the fantastic work you're doing, knowing that the gift you're giving to your audience is appreciated!
I really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself, because it's relatable and it helps me with my spending habits, and gives me inspiration and insight. And I know how exposing your life can be scary or make you feel anxious. So thank you for that 🌸
Re: being unable to get out of bed in the morning, I have been feeling the exact same way. All spring and summer I was waking up early and doing a bunch of things in the morning before my wife woke up and in the last month I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed before 9 am unless I work earlier than that, and usually it's later. I completely understand what you mean by feeling like a drugged person. I've been chalking it up to the days getting shorter and the change in season(here in Canada, anyway) which usually means that seasonal depression is coming back!
When you talk about buying expensive things when you’re having a rough time I can totally relate. I’ve also grown from that. I can remember specific days in my 20s that I’ve said “life sucks, I’m buying a sweater.” Life did suck at the time and that sweater might have temporarily helped but definitely not a permanent solution. A lot of us go through this and are tempted at times to go back. You are not alone in this journey. I appreciate that in spite of all the criticism you are staying real. It’s the best way to be💕
I love what you are doing and watching your channel has been so helpful to me in thinking about my own relationship to beautiful things. I am so happy to see your channel growing and I am so sorry that growth has exposed you to more negative comments. I adore you and what you do!
Hannah, I want to thank your amazing content. I have been watching your channel since you began your no-buy year and I have found it an endless source of insight. Your channel is so unique and it is such a pleasure to listen to your reflections which are so artfully expressed in words. I so enjoy watching all your videos. Please keep being you, you are original and amazing! I admire how you stay honest and true to yourself and where you are at, your truth has been a catalyst for transformation in my life so thank you. Thank-you for being courageous x
I think what often gets overlooked is that we are all in a different place in life. We all have different financial, emotional and psychological journeys. So the healthiest most balanced approach for you might not be what my own journey requires. People can’t point blank apply your rules, feelings and the process you’ve taken 100% exactly to themselves. You and they are not the same people. I do agree with a few comments I’ve read below in that I think so many people watch videos wanting to see their viewpoints and thoughts echo’d by someone else. It’s a lovely form of validation. It feels wonderful when you realize that you and your best friend both hate the same movie, or secretly loved the same cheesy band, or are both struggling with the same thing. That camaraderie is soothing and comforting. And I think there is a natural proclivity to assign those same feelings to content creators on RUclips because we feel like we get to know them. Thus some of the extreme backlash often found in comments sections when a creator doesn’t like something a viewer loves. There is some population of people who watch RUclips who take things personally when the creator they love and follow doesn’t express the exact POV that they hold. It’s a strange observation, but I see it soooo frequently (even in your comments section) that I know it’s not an uncommon phenomenon. I run my channel “rules” and beauty budget completely differently than you. And what everyone needs to realize is that’s how it should be. There isn’t one standard by which you must coduct yourself on RUclips. There isn’t a “best way” for every channel to follow. There is only “what’s best for me” as a human being dealing with my own pile of strengths, weaknesses, issues and triumphs. Thank you for your transparency even in the face of emotional strain. Big hugs from far away, friend. You’re in my thoughts today.
Something I found on the internet: An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you with difficulties, it means it's going to launch your into something great. It's no William Blake but I thought you would appreciate it.
I found your channel within the last few days through Zeyn San. I just found her channel as well, and I’m honestly so thrilled to have found you both. I’m in therapy for major depression, bipolar, anxiety and obsessive compulsive behaviors. I am an obsessive (to the point where my therapist considers it to be a form of self-harm) shopper. I am in massive debt, I feel guilt and disgusting all the time. But. Im finally to the point where in drowning so badly that I need to change. Having found Zeyn and now you, is like serendipity. Hearing from someone who is actively working on those habits sharing the real, true, raw unfiltered, imperfect details of the personal growth and the difficulty of re-wiring the brain is just what those of us who are struggling need to hear. Its not perfect, its never going to be perfect. Giving up control? Its horrible. Ive seen enough of your videos now to know that Your journey is inspiring to me. Your honestly is what makes it the most helpful. It sets unfiltered and true expectations for anyone considering budgeting or no-buys. That it might not be perfect but it’s worth trying. Ive subscribed and I want to thank you for sharing the realness of your journey. PS: on the PR topic, I like the disclosure of it. You’re not using it to tell us to go out and buy it all so Its not changing who you are or affecting your personal growth. Thank you Hannah for sharing your projects and how it affects you mentally and generally in the long term. I so appreciate it 💕
Almost finished watching your no buy year, just started my no buy year as of the 1st October. In full panic mode! When I made the decision almost a month ago I felt super liberated, I actually did a declutter beforehand, the things I decluttered are things that I won't run out of anyway. But now I'm in it I feel the panic! This is a YEAR 😥😥😥. Really looking forward to my behaviour changes and for these feelings to subside because right now I feel so vulnerable. How sad is that? I feel vulnerable without shopping! God how awful! The perfectionism is something I can really relate to! I have actually been having CBT for the last year (would fully recommend BTW) to help change these behaviours and I feel like this no buy is a manifestation of those changes. Went searching for inspo and found your channel xxx
I O'Kneafsey & Marci good luck! Also began No Buy YEAR on October 1st! We can do this! I need to be debt free and live within my means. Yes, there is a panic, but I know I will feel better about my finances in the future.
34:15 :D I absolutely loved this video and your honesty. All of your check-ins are exquisite. It's weird when people criticize you for receiving PR. You worked hard for it and it's a form of payment for you. Why would you work for free? 99% of times, companies use PR and use creators on YT for exposition. It's not like they give you gifts because it's a nice thing to do. As for your budget. Should PR affect your budgeting in some way or another? I think in one of your videos you told us it somehow affects it and next year you will change your budgeting, but you didn't tell us how you will change it. I would love to see another no buy year or maybe one month would be budgeting and next month would be a no-buy. I just love all videos where you talk about your feelings and less the videos where you do reviews just because I live in Europe and don't have access to 90% of the stuff that you talk about and I'm also on a no-buy myself. I watch them anyway because it's a way for me to learn English from someone who speaks beautifully. It's funny, I wouldn't stand 40min. video from someone else, but when you speak it's all OK :) I can relate to what you said about no-buy being stress-free. It takes the burden of choosing what to buy and this agonizing long process of screening the best little thing for me. For me, the problem with buying wasn't really buying too many things but spending all this time to find something that would be perfect. Sorry, this comment is all over the place but... well I'm all over the place and who isn't?
Your honesty and your ability to express your feelings and thoughts in such an eloquent way, is exactly the reason I watch your Videos. I See myself in you a lot. Keep Doing you! 💕
Thank you for the raw and imperfect ending. Totally worth the watch. I appreciate the logic and the fact you aren't completely scripted this time (not that you always are but this time not as solidified in your thoughts if that makes any sense?) It is a process. I applaud you for being so public about it.
Bah humbug. That is how I feel about the whole PR argument. Personally, I appreciate that you make it clear what you receive as PR. Someone that is at least that open is someone that I think will be honest with their audience. Unfortunately some will never budge in their head about PR and it being a terrible corrupt thing. I can understand that it would be a discussion you're tired of having. I even understand your argument that it is a subpar form of payment, while nice it is not an actual wage. Some people just aren't willing to open their minds. Others may just be new to your channel and new to the conversation. Idk you can't make everyone happy, so you may as well make sure that you are at least happy. Much love Hannah! Take care 😘💛
Hi Hannah -- I just want you to know that your videos are so very helpful to me! My area of over-spending and over-acquiring is in the pen/ink/paper/stationery area ... and it is so interesting to me as I listen to you how similar the experience is ... I just need to replace the types of items and I'm sure my budget is on a smaller scale but everything else is SO similar. When I do that ... I also imagine what you might think of my excess stationery stuff ... and I catch myself realizing that it's all the same really. Beauty products or stationery things! My channel is tiny compared with yours but I too get things from companies and viewers. I sometimes feel overexposed. I'm on a path (a long ways behind you) toward healing all the "too muchness" and toward minimizing to some degree ... it's practical and spiritual and complicated like you said. Sometimes it's so hard to separate the things I have in my space by "personal" and "for the channel/review". Stuff starts to blend together. Yet, I LOVE what I do and I am increasingly sharing with viewers my "allowance/budget" .....attempts to be reasonable and accountable!!! In this video one of the most profound things that helped me that you said -- was about disconnecting the money coming in from various gigs --- from spending! Having them be unrelated. Oh ... I'm going to re-watch that part of the video. I need that to really sink in!!! I think it's a major key I've missed. I really could write all day and still not fully express how much you've helped me with your willingness to be open about this subject. Today, I'm remembering things my Dad used to say to me about money ... he was maybe even too good at saving money ... but he used to always talk to me about the fact that just because you have money ... doesn't mean you have to spend it all. I wish I had listened better and practiced better. He'd point out someone he knew was a rich man and say -- "look he drives a sensible car". Things like that. Anyway. All this just to say ... thank you!!!!!!
Yours is one of the few channels I still watch, and that's because I enjoy you so much! You've made a difference in people's lives, please don't forget that 💜.
I tried being on RUclips for a while. I didn't even have that many subscribers or have anyone say nasty things to me, but I walked around feeling raw and expose literally all the time. So I get it. I hope you find a way to continue to share with us while also taking good care of you.
I appreciate your transparency. I think that being authentic involves showing people aspects of yourself that are imperfect, that not everyone will like. I don't think you can show your progress and the journey you're on while being perfect - then you wouldn't be showing the real struggle. You're trying much harder than most to be open and I'm so sorry you're dealing with people that are upset at that
I love all your checkins and this is my favorite! Progress is not linear, and new things come up so the time. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable!
F*ck the haters! The reason your channel is interesting, popular, and unique is because you are so vulnerable. If people are criticizing you or talking badly about you, it’s because you are doing something different and disruptive and effective. You’ve managed to catch even the haters’ attention-that’s an accomplishment!
Hannah, I really want to give you a hug right now. I'm watching this a few days after you posted it, so I hope your raw phase is already over. But still, sending you a big hug! I love listening to all you have to say about your emotions surrounding shopping and all (I can relate so much). Please don't compromise your transparency for anyone. Lots of love from Berlin! Have the best day today!
I am on my second year of no buy. It is very liberating and I really appreciate your structured narrative on the topic. My reason is more of decluttering and environmental reasons than budget reason, because I am quiet savvy with my finance. However, after decluttering more than 2 dozens of big boxes of stuff and about 2 dozen pieces of big items like suitcase and furnitures, AND still have a full hpuse (neat, clean and not cluttered, but still felt full), in 2017 I realized that I also needed to stop the incoming of stuff coming into my house. Including free stuff.
I am very late to the party, but something I found very interesting in this video (which I understand may not be relevant to your personal experience as it was simply a turn of phrase, but encouraged me to reflect on my own perceptions) is the way in which you spoke about your “windfall” this month. I think you labelled it as “some small payment of $100”. It is interesting to consider how we have psychologically conditioned ourselves to view outgoing money as being worthy of more emotional labour/response than incoming money. That is to say money coming in just seems to be part of the regular cycle of “money coming in”, with a marked lack of joy or dopamine spike attached to it. Money out, on the other hand, is seen as a vehicle by which we can reach greater altitudes of joy. This realisation encouraged me reflect on the ways in which I need to look at all money coming in (be it salary, gifts etc etc) with a lens of abundance, with the view that in the long term I will reverse the equation so that I feel greater joy in receiving/saving than I do in spending. We are regularly encouraged to take incoming money and automate it into a savings account so that we never hold it in our hands and expose it to our unruly desire to spend. I am now considering whether there is some value in taking the time to tell your incoming money exactly where it needs to go and attaching “tasks” to the process in order to make the whole thing a little more tactile, and therefore a more psychically valuable experience.
Thank you for not cutting the vulnerable bits - I really appreciate it. I've been so grateful to find channels that show more than just one side of themselves here on YT while also talking about fun makeup. Your honesty inspires me as a creator and a human. I'm sorry September felt like a 2-steps-back kind of month - sending you love. ❤️❤️❤️
Messy and vulnerable is beautiful. If people are uncomfortable, it's because they have different values than you, or that they haven't reached a point where they feel comfortable with their own truth and therefore resent it in you. Don't let them stop you. :)
Hannah I’m hoping you didn’t think my previous comments about PR were meant to “crucify” you...not at all! I was simply looking from a psychological point of view how receiving PR changes what you spend your budget on. I’m devestated that you might think people like myself who have embraced your journey, would be so cruel. I wasn’t criticising...merely making my own observations.
I think it's good to vent/share about the pressures of this job, and the scrutiny and judgement that gets heaped on you from it. I vent to friends about my work and things that happen that I may feel are harsh and unfair, and you're doing the same here. This is a job, but just because you've chosen a very public one, doesn't mean you don't get hurt or feel crappy when someone posts something hurtful - you're not some unfeeling machine and people need to be made aware of when they cause hurt to others.
If people want to keep hearing the same messages from your no buy year, they can absolutely rewatch your first year of videos. You've already lovingly created that content and shared it with all of us. You are on to new things and new challenges -- go you!
You are actually right about the human brain being ill-equipped to handle the idea of being followed or seen by 25,000+ people. Our living in large cities is a fairly recent thing in human history, for the majority our species' existence, we lives in small hunter-gatherer tribes. Cities with 4 million people in them are so ridiculously recent, it's normal to feel overwhelmed, of course we can barely process it
Hannah I’ve been feeling crummy lately and been faced with the temptation of buying makeup to make myself feel better. This no buy year was entirely inspired by your journey and has borne so many rewards so I will plod along. Thank you for all that you do. I think you know that your utter venerability is what attracts so many of us to your channel. These haters don’t deserve the privilege of watching your content 😉
This is so interesting to watch because your openness and transparency about how PR affects you and your budget is precisely what I appreciate so much about your channel! I am consistently frustrated by influencers on low or no buys that receive PR and never discuss or actively ignore how one affects the other. I can see how uncomfortable you feel in this video and my heart aches for you. Thank you thank you thank you for being such a lovely gem on this platform! I and so many others appreciate you and getting to see your unique journey so much. All the love to you!
Should a family budgeting channel have to disclose everytime they are invited into someones home for dinner? After all, it is a free meal. I think most people would say not. As normie non-youtubers we still get gifted things (maybe not straight from the company) and things fortuitously fall in our laps, it's a quirk of life. People need to just calm down and not expect you to carry the yoke of their unrealistic ideals of what a person on a budget should be.
Don’t EVER stop being transparent. That is what we love about you and what sets you apart. It’s a breath of fresh air and quite noticeably absent from the vast majority of influencers. If someone is putting another down for being vulnerable and honest, that says much more about them. I hope this month is better all around for you! Keep up the great work - it is much appreciated ❤️
Okay gurl, loved this video. Love your videos. Fellow MFA poet here. Some thoughts on your current Catch-22: your channel is also growing, so you're more likely to receive more hate. Your channel is growing, so you may be receiving more PR because you are getting the attention of more brands. I don't judge you for receiving PR. I think ... if we were all honest with ourselves, and we were on a budget or no-buy, we'd all happily receive PR. What a resource. What a reward for uh ... working [nearly] for free to create content. Basically, let the haters hate. Let them get whatever it is that they get from putting that out into the world, but don't make it your brain garbage. It's their brain garbage.
Dear Hannah... I'm sure I speak for thousands of followers when I say that we simply love you and enjoy listening to you and learning from you every week. If only we lived in a world when it was common to express love for ourselves and others far far more often than we express criticism. But, Dear One, so many of us love you and love hearing your story with all of its beautiful ups and downs. Your vulnerability is a gorgeous strength. And we LOVE you for telling us all about it!! 🦋🧡🦋
Given the amount of time you spend creating content and not getting paid, I think it's fair to consider pr as part of your compensation for productive output. People also they to get jealous of the perceived unfairness of other people getting stuff "for free", but pr is not "free", it is sent with the expectation that you make a video, which means that it is an obligation, so they are misunderstanding what the nature of what pr actually is. At least, that's the lens I would consider that particular criticism through....
This is what I think about EVERY time I see those criticisms! I feel like none of the critics would take issue if, for instance, her rules said that ad revenue from her channel could supplement her beauty budget each month. (Or extra income from side gigs, or what have you). Taking PR is just like that *except* kind of a poor substitute since she doesn't get to freely choose how she "spends" that compensation. *And* taking PR allows her to receive compensation for her work while still separating her income from her spending, which is clearly profound for her & anybody who's ever been paycheck-to-paycheck.
Do you delete the cruel comments? Because whenever I read your comments,all I see is love and admiration and appreciation from everyone,maybe that is all I see because that is the way I feel. Please remember that haters can just stop watching,nobody is forcing them to your channel. Love your complicated and weird life!
Hannah, you might be experiencing a hormone change. It happened to me at 34 :-). I appreciate your videos so much. They always make me stop, think, and apply your observations to my life. You help trigger my own self-awareness. Sometimes I avoid watching BECAUSE I know I will see myself in you and have to self-assess. But I always relent and am always happy I dive in. Hugs to you
Tldr; it stinks people write awful stuff about you. When you are already feeling down, shit seems to hit the fan even harder. Take some time of to focus on becoming insync and happy with yourself. That way the haters gonna hate. ---------- Hi hannah. I’ve been following you since half way your no buy year. And you have inspired me a lot. I am also trying the fewer nicer things tactic throughout my life and sometimes i am doing great, other times not so much. When I beat myself up over it (which I also do, it is very relatable) I notice that I also take everything people say as a negative thing. My partner pointed that out to me. He would say something like: ‘your hair looks like a tornado today! Nice’ and I would be in full: ‘see, even my hair doesn’t like me. I’m a zero. A waste of space. The day had come and gone and i have achieved nothing. Etc.’ He didn’t mean anything by it. He likes my hair (I think 🤔) and whether it is in full tornado or summer breeze mood, it is just hair. It has no reflection on me as a person. He tought me in that moment that when I’m feeling down everything just sinks in that bit harder, deeper, faster. And when I’m in a good mood, it just is either funny, it slides off or completely laughable out of absurdness. What i meant to say is: dear hannah. When you are already feeling down. Shit piles up when you read stuff about yourself. And it shouldn’t! As far as I can tell you are a lovely person with flaws as we all have them. You are open and honest and that is more then most people can say. Don’t read the stuff people write for a while. Enjoy being you again. To it fullest extent. So that you can look in the mirror and say: ‘my name is hannah, and i am living my best life while I’m doing my work in the world. I’m working on bettering myself in all the ways I know how and for that and all the other things I do, I am *bliep* amazing. Whatever people may say or think. Beacuse my name is hannah and this is my life.’ Ps. Sorry for the awful grammer. It’s been a while since I had to write in english.
Sorry for the silly comment, especially considering the really important and interesting things you talk about in this video, but it looks like at 7:51 Sadie is floating over the plant in the background 😂
Ultimately, dear one, it is your journey. I know it’s hard to ignore those who criticize and want to emotionally take you down for a life that you have created; created through hard work, diligence and a whole lot of moxie but they are operating from a place of negativity and lack. That is not the place you are coming from and blunting your honest assessment of yourself and your processes would be a disservice to your being. For all the “haters” there are plenty of us who enjoy your journey and your raw openness and appreciate the fortitude it takes to be exposed in this way. No matter where the journey takes you, keep being your authentic and questioning self! Best to you!
THANK YOU for staying true to you, being honest about how PR affects you, and for letting us in on how it is to be a human on the internet! I don't have 25k subscribers but I also have experiences being cruelly berated online. It's to the point where I hesitate to comment on any RUclips videos outside the small makeup project panning community because I'm terrified they'll be met with horrible to receive replies. I once commented talking about feminism on a Phillip DeFranco video and oh boy that was a rough ride. I ended up turning off notifications after being called the c word one too many times by strangers. I want to share this because I know that even if they're a minority voice, it still hurts to get dragged online. I can only imagine it's more intense with more of a platform. Sending lots of love! So grateful for your videos, I love listening along as I get ready for my day in the morning. 💖
One of your most admirable qualities is your transparency hannah. It takes a true strength to always be open and honest as it is harder to live that way at the scrutiny of others. Your right, it can leave you vulnerable but let it. Its where we reflect on ourselves the best. Ultimately you are consistent, you develop, your not afraid to say sorry or put your hands up and admit things arent perfect. You have integrity and your values are worth more than your weight in gold. Some people cant handle that, they prefer to be fooled. Its says more about their mental inflexibility than you and the way you conduct your channel. Be proud. Those that slate you about PR fail to see the full meaning of your channel and the message you deliver. Its not about the budget really but a complicated internal process that most people stuggle with in thier relationship with thier inner world and the external one we interact with. As for the eyeliner. If you like it, keep it and sod the backlash. There isnt a fool anywhere out there, that in real life wouldnt snap up a feebie if they were budgeting. No one is stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth if the gift is right for them, at the right time of need. That would just be unnecessary self punishment and wasteful. I wonder as a solution to the PR challenge: you could devise a system where if you keep the item sent you deduct its worth from your budget. As though your buying it. That money could go into another savings account that has nothing to do with or isnt dicussed as part of your channel. An emergency fund per say for things that dont fall into your budget catagory for the purpose if your channel. Then your beauty budget balances to the satisfaction of the moaning minnies out there and reflects 'real life ' as some would say and you get a double win by savibg more money 😜😁 You dont have to. You shouldnt have to and your system is just fine the way it is to me but if it helps quell the negativity it might be worth a try X love and light x
Hannah do you have debt ? I would love to know I’m in debt and how do you manage saving money, with debts and a beautiful things budget !! Love you ! ❤️❤️
I wonder if you might be having an imbalance in your system that's making you really tired. You could also possibly be experiencing micro wake periods during the night so your sleep is much less restful and restorative. What im saying is don't beat yourself up there is probably a reason (this is normal for many people as a diet can change month to month or other outside influences change).
I think you are great. Everything you say makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't worry about the haters, easier said then done. The truth is everyone wants you to be perfect because they are not.
Hannah, thank you for being so candid with us about your life in general, it’s helping so many people to get better at spending their time and money on beautiful things. I really like your approach on fewer nicer items. There’s always gonna be haters out there, never mind them, keep up the good work. Also I’m glad that you’re able to receive PR, you’ve earned it! ❤️❤️❤️
This was so good to hear! I feel as if some people get over things quickly, while I fester over details and feelings. It’s nice to know that this internal debate just makes me human 😁 An anxious and complex human! Haha
On the topic of why it's harder to let go this month than the month before: It could be that in the back of your mind you thought "Oh, this is just a phase. If I treat myself kindly and don't let it ruin my day, my good habits will naturally fall back into place." Now that the little voice in your head sees the "problem" isn't immediately rectifying itself, the voice is returning to the old tactics of beating you up to make you change. This is something I've struggled with for a long time, and I still work with my therapist to find new ways to distract/silence that voice when it isn't happy with the progress I've made. The fact that you recognize the change puts you lightyears ahead, though. It's taken me years to be that self-aware, and now that I am it is much easier to stop myself from backsliding all the way to step one.
I believe it was July or August where you purposed to wear two bold lipsticks as much as possible the entire month. I noticed you did, but I'm wondering if I missed an update video where you shared your thoughts and progress on those lipsticks after wearing them so much. Did I miss that? Can you direct me to which video that would have been? Thanks!
I love who you are and I so love your transparency and I so love that you didn’t cut your transparency out of this video. You have no idea how much you’re helping me.. I started a no buy today because of you. I feel like you are a mirror of me sometimes because our personalities and wants and needs are so extremely similar. I can relate to every single thing you say. I haven’t stopped watching your videos for an entire week, and I think your videos are going to carry me through the tough times of my no buy. I’ve been looking for support for so long for my silent battle, and now I feel like I finally have it.
Oh Hannah I admire you so much. I watched all of your 2018 no buy and have been following your budget videos this year. You have certainly influenced me and the more complexity you choose to share the better.
Your RUclips is work. The eyebrow pencil was pay. Don’t feel guilty for getting paid for what you do. You didn’t “buy” it but you did earn it. Feel good Hannah. You got this x
Hey Hannah! I totally relate to fantasizing about my old spend-y ways. Sigh ...It was so great to just buy whatever I wanted. It also felt really shitty after. Nowadays the tedium of restriction gets really old sometimes, my closet may not be stuffed, my makeup drawers aren't overflowing, but I don't think I notice how much less anxiety I have now, I just see what i'm missing and i'm bored with it. Maybe I should just meditate in consumer boredom... get really comfy here, lol. And after your eyebrow story, I must admit my first thought was - it was unfair that you got the eyebrow pencil for free in PR, how convenient. But I realized that YOU HAVE PAID for that pencil, with the work you do here! Not to mention how exposed you are now, and not always in a good way. You did not get it for free at all! If anyone else wants free stuff from PR, become a hardworking content creator (like you), nothing is stopping anyone.
Your openness and the resulting vulnerability is one of the things that I love most about your channel. Your videos remind me that I love curating my personal style because I enjoy being creative and appreciating beautiful things, not because of the products I can buy. Thank you for remaining open even in the face of criticism!
😂😂...I loved it! I'm glad you didn't cut the last part, I enjoy your channel and the way you talk about the different struggles you through it down to your thoughts. I can relate and will like to get to a similar stage in my life when it comes to money and spending. This year has been a lot better and I'm no where near where I was last yr or two years ago but I'm not where I need to or would like to be so watching your videos and listening to you helps me to keep moving forward. Great video and I hope October is a better month for you. 👍👏❤
Dear hannah, your channel is probably the main channel i watch religiously on youtube. I too am doing a no buy year and although ive slipped up a few times your videos bring me back on track and all in all ive felt so many of the great financial benefits of not spending comical amounts of money on makeup and how to be grateful for all that i have instead of wasting brainspace on desiring things i dont need, or can easily “dupe the vibes” of. Your eloquence, thoughtfulness, authenticity, and transparency i think is so valuable. The truth is we cant be perfect, and speaking thoughtfully about those things well... it encourages me to think thoughtfully about the moments i feel weak and slip up, and then i watch a video of yours and realize that some of those moments are human and then i see the bigger picture and im back on track. I think its crucial to be unapologetic about those human feelings, you cant suppress humanity, and if you try it causes all types of problems. Perhaps the haters need to hate because they feel insecure and think they can make themselves feel bigger by making you feel small, but the jokes on them. Thats not how it works. Being honest with yourself is the best thing you can do, and when i see you work through those thoughts im reminded i can do the same. So thank you. You do you boo.
I'm so glad I found your channel last year. I feel like I was able to prevent my shopping habits from becoming worse because I was definitely on the route to becoming a shopaholic. I did a low buy year and so glad I did because it helped as I moved and started a new career not to go crazy with my spending. Thank you for the work you do and those of us in your corner appreciate you in all your triumphs and imperfections!
I’ve been in the “2 steps back” motion as of late but you and this video remind me that the “1 step forward” can still be on its way. I applaud your endless courage and straight forward approach with your channel. You’ve given a gift of realizations to people (like me) and, if some can only find faults, I hope you know others (like me) find hope. Xo
As so many people have already done, just wanted to comment as a regular viewer who absolutely loves watching you. Rarely comment but watch almost every video. I so enjoy your insight into human psyche, your ability to dig deeper into an issue and your fun sense of humour. I always leave after watching feeling light hearted but thinking more about what had been said. Love that your videos are like that for me Hannah. Your financial situation is never going to be the same as mine or anyone else’s, but the underlying thoughts about budgeting and self soothing are still relatable, and I love hearing about your feelings towards budgeting and your transparency over it all. Thank you for what you do!
You should watch Samantha Ravndahl’s three month No Buy vid! She totals all her Sephora purchases then puts them into percents of what she has actually used etc. So interesting 🤔 and informative. Also F the haters, you are amazing and helping SO MANY people ❤️❤️
Haters for me are difficult to deal with . I was once told I needed to grow lizard skin. But my dream was always why can't we live in a world in which that is not necessary.
I have just finished my no bye year the first of October, it has changed me on so many levels and your videos helped me whenever I felt like I'm alone in my journey or when I felt unmotivated. This type of ideas should be spread so I hope your channel will grow more!
I'm commenting to represent the regular viewers who often don't comment but love your channel. I'm sure the general positivity gets outshined by the people who feel compelled to comment with strong opinions. Your transparency is the best part of your channel. We are here to watch you and the journey you are actually on, not a perfect representation of who we wish we would be during a budget or no-buy.
I second that. I love watching your journey Hannah. None of us have it all together. We are all working on things and because we are different our process is different. Keep going- you have a lot of people rooting for you 😎
Girl, trust me, I feel the same. The more transparent you are, the more you open yourself up to criticism. I feel and experience the same thing. It's deffo a case of "be yourself. but make sure that's exactly what I expect you to be". Sending lots of love!
Angelica Nyqvist I stopped reading beauty discussions because it feels just so exhausting, can’t imagine how it is for you guys. most participants in these discussions need to realize that, if they want to see a video done EXACTLY how they would do it, they need to turn on the camera themselves. your low buy would be my high buy and Hannah’s budget is at least 5 times higher than mine... and? I can always click somewhere else!
Society: "Be yr own person."
Also Society: "Not like that tho."
Yup.
So true. Be unique but not weird x.x
Be you just not too you, and not you in a way that disturbs anything about me, or makes me feel some type of way about anything. Wahooo so easy totally doable no pressure 😱😵
As you get your financial cards put into order, I would love to hear you speak about long term savings in the context of being self employed. How do you handle retirement savings? HSA savings? If you'd prefer not to speak to it, that's completely understandable, but i love to hear how other women are handling these long term concerns.
ooh, this. Yes. I'm not self employed and do have retirement savings through work and whatnot, but I'm still quite curious about this topic!
What you were saying about feeling like you were on top of managing your perfectionism last month but struggling again this month?? What a mood 😔 When I find myself there, I actually remind myself of something _you_ once said in another check in around our expectations that our lives will always be perfectly moving upward. Your monologue about that helps me remember that two steps forward, one step back is honestly the normal way of things. I don't suck and I'm not some abhorrent failure for having taken that step back. That step back is just the way life is sometimes, and I'll take some steps forward again soon. Hope your October is less stressful and goes well! 🧡🧡🧡
Prachi S word!
Yes, this! The last month has felt like a regression in my life, one of those steps back. And has coincided with my first month at my new job which was rough! But I'm working through and grateful to everyone putting reminders out into the world that life is not a linear progression upwards, it's messy!
I appreciate your openness in the documentation of this difficult journey. Be kind to yourself!
The section where you talked about the relaxation attached to separating the money coming coming in and going out was fascinating to me. As some one who has lived paycheck to paycheck, I know that’s one of the biggest luxuries one can have, as it’s something many don’t have the privilege to experience, no matter how well they budget.
To be clear, this isn’t me dismissing your feelings, although an awareness of that feeling as a privilege is important. Instead, I’m fascinated by how yolked by consumerism we can become, whereby even those who have the means to be financially secure are made to feel like they’re always broke, which leads them to consume above their means to get a taste of luxury, which in turn makes them less financially secure. It’s a vicious cycle we put ourselves through.
If you got this far, Hannah, you’re an extraordinary person for what your doing. Even when you felt attacked online and your mental health was at a low point, your response was not to shy away from the internet, but to make yourself more vulnerable. I really hope you make that “2017 purchases” video. We may disagree on what classy looks like, but if this isn’t class, I don’t know what is. Hats off.
I've been lucky enough to have crawled out of the paycheck-to-paycheck hole in the past couple of years, and "lifestyle creep" is a phenomenon that totally fascinates me. Now that I'm out of the service industry, I have more contact with highly paid coworkers, so I can see firsthand how it happens that someone can earn more and more without ever experiencing the separation of money in & money out that Hannah talks about. My husband is about to graduate and start a job that will bring us solidly into the middle class for the first time, and we have been talking a LOT about avoiding lifestyle creep and finding a balance between "being able to enjoy things we couldn't before (like getting the really good name brand cheese)" and "spending more because we're earning more."
I completely understand. Growing up my whole life my family was extremely poor, we moved a lot to stay one step ahead if the streets and only eating once a day because that's all I could afford once I lived on my own. Im by no means well off now but I have savings and always know my bills will get paid but I'm still so stuck in the poor mentality growing up that I hesitate every time I go shopping.
You make such good, interesting points.
Of all the “no buy” channels I have followed, your channel is the only one I continue to follow because of videos such as this one. I feel that you’ve maintained your integrity and clearly, transparency (pun intended lol) throughout your journey. I’m not a beauty product hoarder but I watch those videos from you still, because I don’t want to miss any little nugget of wisdom on conscious consumerism. Often, I go back and rewatch your no buy year videos because I find them inspiring and motivates me to become an even more conscious consumer. Please continue to create and share. For every hater, you have thousands of likers 😊
Anne you worded this so well! Like what continues to enthrall me about Hannah's channel is the wisdom her insights and experiences can offer to EVERYONE in this community, whether they struggle with the same issues or not. I love to shop, but I've never had an addiction or an issue with budgeting. My mom made sure I was good with money before I moved out on my own, so budgeting and impulse control with consumerism have never been problems for me. Yet I've still learned SO MUCH from Hannah and just become more thoughtful and conscientious about multiple aspects of my life because of thoughts Hannah has shared or sparked in my mind. We can all learn from her journey and use it to improve our own lives, and that's why this channel is worth following no matter what kind of "no-buy/low-buy/buy-all-the-things/whatever" year you're having!
I just wanted to say that I have been watching your channel for a while now and it's exactly what I crave from this kind of beauty related content. I had been getting somewhat frustrated by the simplicity of language. Your channel is a breath of fresh air and so enjoyable to watch.
Hannah, there’s a lot of scientific research to say that humans have optimal numbers of members of communities they can have connections with, the largest of which being around 1,500. Extended communities beyond these numbers is an unusual side effect of the internet. Its unsurprising you have an overwhelmed feeling. Just thought that maybe knowing there is science behind the feeling might make you feel a bit better ❤️
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S109051381730209X
Beth Goodwin how interesting!!
Great feedback and information!
Interesting! I'm curious to see if this changes as gen z and beyond grow up with internet communities being a given? Will that optimal number increase, or will there be more community fatigue resulting in more hikikomori?
This feeling of community is lost after such a large number which I believe has triggered suicide in our youth. Hearing the voices of disdain and becoming isolated when we're more connected then ever.
I'm really glad you didn't edit out that part at the end, because I think it's exactly what some people need to realise. This isn't a channel where you're leading people to an enlightened, moral life where you lead them to spend exactly the right amount (and you spend the same amount that would be good for them, with their financial situation, despite whatever your own situation is). This is a channel showing us your journey and we can gleam your principals and lessons from it and apply it to our own lives if we wish. I really enjoy watching your journey and look forward to seeing what's to come :)
Shouts at the screen, "I care!!" It's why I'm here. :)
Current mood lol
*raises hand tentatively*
I would like a throw back video. I really appreciate the work you do here on youtube. It's helped me so much.
I love your honesty and vulnerability. These are my favorite kind of videos you create.
I have some thoughts about the “the more you open yourself up, the more you get criticised” experience you described in this video, particularly in relation to PR.
The way I think about it is this - imagine you were a vegan RUclipsr who started a channel about being vegan. Your channel would come under immense scrutiny from other vegans, and every decision you made that wasn’t entirely aligned with the utmost standards of veganism would receive criticism from at least some portion of the vegan viewership. The act of declaring yourself vegan and making your channel focused on being vegan would therefore open you up to far more criticism and scrutiny than a youtuber who continued to eat meat would ever get. It’s very much a “do a little good and you get criticised for not being perfect, but if you don’t make any attempt to be good then people won’t criticise you at all” situation here.
I imagine, in this analogy, that the act of you receiving PR would be like the vegan youtuber eating animal products but only from ‘animals that have a certified standard of living and whose products were ethically harvested’ as an exception to their vegan policy. Whether you thought that your consumption of those products was justified or not, you would get criticism because there would be a large portion of the audience who would perceive that as you having fallen short of their perfect standards of veganism. In other words, the existence of criticism is an inevitability if you fall any shade short of perfection. You have to accept that reality and not give it undue influence over you or your decision making process.
I would also remember that the people criticising you are probably those who are having to undertake similar exercises as the budgeting/no buy year, and it is likely a difficult time for them and probably leading to a number of issues and spells of unhappiness in their lives. So it’s quite understandable that seeing you get all this PR, which is something they have to live without, would rub them the wrong way and create feelings of bitterness and annoyance. Receiving all the PR is obviously a crutch (whether it’s a significant or insignificant crutch is another matter) and so you can imagine why some people’s response will be ‘you don’t know what it’s really like, you don’t know how hard it is’, which would understandably lead to criticism of your channel for being out of touch.
As a final point, I would also say that Angelica Nyqvist once made a comment in one of her videos about not hunting out things people say on forums about her because it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t intended for her eyes. I was curious one day so I went looking - and holy Christ the level of nastiness I read was repugnant. Especially considering that there is so little to complain about with her behaviour or channel, particularly in comparison to the influencers at the top. So it’s good to keep some healthy perspective and realise that a lot of the criticism has nothing to do with you - it’s very much a ‘they’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem.
Oh, and just a passing thought - I suffered the same symptoms of tiredness you described for months before I realised that the cause was keeping myself in a constant caloric deficit and over exercising. Not sure if this will be applicable to you, but in case it is, a week of eating more than my recommended caloric intake made me feel a world of difference and helped identify the cause of the problem.
Very sensible and well balanced comment!
I agree. I'm on Reddit but I do find it a little overwhelming and the criticism of people, while sometimes valid, do get me down. I think if I was reading that about myself I would not want to continue RUclips. I don't think it's meant for creators, as Anjelica said.
I have been absolutely flabbergasted at some of the things people say about my favorite RUclips personalities. I don’t subscribe to any of the big ones, I cannot relate to their lifestyle and they get SO MUCH PR, I don’t believe it’s easy for them to not be biased. So it amazes me that people would see some of the smaller ones and be so cruel. In general I would never do that to anyone so I don’t understand that desire to be awful towards another human. If they’re not your style, that’s fine just move on. I cannot wrap my brain around the need to be so hateful. I can’t imagine reading horrible comments directed toward me, my family, lifestyle, etc. It would be hard not to be devastated.
The sleep thing makes it sound like you’re depressed. Be kind to yourself, Hannah. Don’t read Reddit.
To me sounded like a tiny burnout. She has been tackling a lot. If she can manage to put a tiny bit less on her platter she should be back to amazingness very soon. Best of wishes Hannah
To me, it sounds like it could be a mix of a lot of things. Self care is what’s needed and maybe a StayCation… a weekend off from working. Time to decompress and just, enjoy being alive.
I feel you so much on the “waiting to be over”. I struggle to eat clean and keep weight off, like really struggle. I’ve worked out pretty seriously since I was 19 or so, but due to a few injuries my method of working out has changed. I’ve also done a few whole30s and try to eat accordingly. However, I often catch a little gremlin wondering when I can eat whatever I want and stop working out. The truth is... with the exception of taking a holiday off here and there.... the answer is never. And sometimes the reality is just the pits.
You said in your description box that you didn’t want the ignore the haters advice. So I’ll just say that I’m here to follow along with your crazy messy life, and to support you as much as possible by clicking the links, liking, and commenting.
This is so interesting I was JUST talking to my friend Grace (we are both fans of ur channel obv) about how a lot of the criticism you receive is unfair especially since a lot of us don't understand and don't realize what your shopping habits/experience with overspending was before your no-buy year. If you decide to do it (+ feel ready to do so) I'd love to see a video about what you bought in 2017, because you really have come so far and like, I think the fact you receive curated PR is peanuts compared to feeling, as you said you did before, "you could buy whatever you want," even when that wasn't necessarily true. I have no idea what it's like to feel scrutinized by so many people and am really sensitive to criticism in my normal life so I just want to say I think you're doing a great job, keep going, take time away from the internet if you need it.
I watch you for your honesty/transparency! It is so fresh & truly inspiring. When RUclipsrs receive PR, I just look at it as a form of “pay”for the hours they pour into their work; there needs to be some compensation, so good for you! ❤️
I'm so grateful to have recently discovered and delved deep into your channel. I appreciate your dedication to self-examination and honesty so much, especially as it's such a brave thing to be a woman in the world, let alone on the internet, let alone in the open and critical way that you are. Thank you for doing your work in the world. I'm here for it in all its imperfect complexity.
Someone would have remembered you mentioning getting a brow pencil in PR and asked you about it. Your statement that your channel is not a self help channel is key. Your path is going to be and is individual to you. Admittedly part of me wanted to see you learn to budget without PR, because that is what I’m doing, but that is an unrealistic expectation/desire for me or anyone else to have. You do you as the kids say, and thank you for sharing, your honesty and vulnerability is very much appreciated Hannah.
sorry for the disjointed nature of my comment. I don’t have the fortitude for better communication at 6:30 am and while typing on my phone.
I would be interested to see a throwback series from you. I LOVED watching Lauren Mae Beauty’s series!
The realistic complexity, self-analyzing poetry, you spew from your mouth as you tell us the story of your journey keeps everyone coming back! Adds REAL VALUE to your viewers' lives! I personally think you're a guide through the healing journey that I needed to through after falling down the beauty rabbit hole of the typical RUclips 'beauty guru'. You're not telling us that we 'NEED' thing after thing to feel whole. I hope you keep up the fantastic work you're doing, knowing that the gift you're giving to your audience is appreciated!
I really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself, because it's relatable and it helps me with my spending habits, and gives me inspiration and insight.
And I know how exposing your life can be scary or make you feel anxious. So thank you for that 🌸
I’m sorry people are so harsh. I know I truly appreciate how open and thoughtful you are and I hope you know how much you’ve truly helped people. ❤️❤️
Re: being unable to get out of bed in the morning, I have been feeling the exact same way. All spring and summer I was waking up early and doing a bunch of things in the morning before my wife woke up and in the last month I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed before 9 am unless I work earlier than that, and usually it's later. I completely understand what you mean by feeling like a drugged person. I've been chalking it up to the days getting shorter and the change in season(here in Canada, anyway) which usually means that seasonal depression is coming back!
When you talk about buying expensive things when you’re having a rough time I can totally relate. I’ve also grown from that. I can remember specific days in my 20s that I’ve said “life sucks, I’m buying a sweater.” Life did suck at the time and that sweater might have temporarily helped but definitely not a permanent solution. A lot of us go through this and are tempted at times to go back. You are not alone in this journey. I appreciate that in spite of all the criticism you are staying real. It’s the best way to be💕
I love what you are doing and watching your channel has been so helpful to me in thinking about my own relationship to beautiful things. I am so happy to see your channel growing and I am so sorry that growth has exposed you to more negative comments. I adore you and what you do!
Hannah, I want to thank your amazing content. I have been watching your channel since you began your no-buy year and I have found it an endless source of insight. Your channel is so unique and it is such a pleasure to listen to your reflections which are so artfully expressed in words. I so enjoy watching all your videos. Please keep being you, you are original and amazing! I admire how you stay honest and true to yourself and where you are at, your truth has been a catalyst for transformation in my life so thank you. Thank-you for being courageous x
I think what often gets overlooked is that we are all in a different place in life. We all have different financial, emotional and psychological journeys. So the healthiest most balanced approach for you might not be what my own journey requires. People can’t point blank apply your rules, feelings and the process you’ve taken 100% exactly to themselves. You and they are not the same people.
I do agree with a few comments I’ve read below in that I think so many people watch videos wanting to see their viewpoints and thoughts echo’d by someone else. It’s a lovely form of validation. It feels wonderful when you realize that you and your best friend both hate the same movie, or secretly loved the same cheesy band, or are both struggling with the same thing. That camaraderie is soothing and comforting. And I think there is a natural proclivity to assign those same feelings to content creators on RUclips because we feel like we get to know them. Thus some of the extreme backlash often found in comments sections when a creator doesn’t like something a viewer loves. There is some population of people who watch RUclips who take things personally when the creator they love and follow doesn’t express the exact POV that they hold. It’s a strange observation, but I see it soooo frequently (even in your comments section) that I know it’s not an uncommon phenomenon.
I run my channel “rules” and beauty budget completely differently than you. And what everyone needs to realize is that’s how it should be. There isn’t one standard by which you must coduct yourself on RUclips. There isn’t a “best way” for every channel to follow. There is only “what’s best for me” as a human being dealing with my own pile of strengths, weaknesses, issues and triumphs.
Thank you for your transparency even in the face of emotional strain. Big hugs from far away, friend. You’re in my thoughts today.
Something I found on the internet: An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you with difficulties, it means it's going to launch your into something great.
It's no William Blake but I thought you would appreciate it.
I found your channel within the last few days through Zeyn San. I just found her channel as well, and I’m honestly so thrilled to have found you both. I’m in therapy for major depression, bipolar, anxiety and obsessive compulsive behaviors. I am an obsessive (to the point where my therapist considers it to be a form of self-harm) shopper. I am in massive debt, I feel guilt and disgusting all the time. But. Im finally to the point where in drowning so badly that I need to change.
Having found Zeyn and now you, is like serendipity. Hearing from someone who is actively working on those habits sharing the real, true, raw unfiltered, imperfect details of the personal growth and the difficulty of re-wiring the brain is just what those of us who are struggling need to hear. Its not perfect, its never going to be perfect. Giving up control? Its horrible.
Ive seen enough of your videos now to know that Your journey is inspiring to me. Your honestly is what makes it the most helpful. It sets unfiltered and true expectations for anyone considering budgeting or no-buys. That it might not be perfect but it’s worth trying. Ive subscribed and I want to thank you for sharing the realness of your journey.
PS: on the PR topic, I like the disclosure of it. You’re not using it to tell us to go out and buy it all so Its not changing who you are or affecting your personal growth. Thank you Hannah for sharing your projects and how it affects you mentally and generally in the long term. I so appreciate it 💕
Almost finished watching your no buy year, just started my no buy year as of the 1st October. In full panic mode! When I made the decision almost a month ago I felt super liberated, I actually did a declutter beforehand, the things I decluttered are things that I won't run out of anyway. But now I'm in it I feel the panic! This is a YEAR 😥😥😥. Really looking forward to my behaviour changes and for these feelings to subside because right now I feel so vulnerable. How sad is that? I feel vulnerable without shopping! God how awful!
The perfectionism is something I can really relate to! I have actually been having CBT for the last year (would fully recommend BTW) to help change these behaviours and I feel like this no buy is a manifestation of those changes. Went searching for inspo and found your channel xxx
I O'Kneafsey I also started my no buy on October 1st! I’m still receiving some of the things I panic bought before I started 😅
I O'Kneafsey & Marci good luck! Also began No Buy YEAR on October 1st! We can do this! I need to be debt free and live within my means. Yes, there is a panic, but I know I will feel better about my finances in the future.
You all have got this! 💖
@@marcielrodriguez4753 Haha I bought stationary in a panic 🤣😂🤣😂 what for???? I do everything on my ipad!
@@orchid51551 ahhhh I love that I'm not alone in this! CMON positive change, come at me inner Zen! Xxx
"I start to hyperventilate emotionally..." Your expressive word choices - girl - I screamed , "Yes- I know how you feel!"
34:15 :D
I absolutely loved this video and your honesty. All of your check-ins are exquisite. It's weird when people criticize you for receiving PR. You worked hard for it and it's a form of payment for you. Why would you work for free? 99% of times, companies use PR and use creators on YT for exposition. It's not like they give you gifts because it's a nice thing to do. As for your budget. Should PR affect your budgeting in some way or another? I think in one of your videos you told us it somehow affects it and next year you will change your budgeting, but you didn't tell us how you will change it. I would love to see another no buy year or maybe one month would be budgeting and next month would be a no-buy. I just love all videos where you talk about your feelings and less the videos where you do reviews just because I live in Europe and don't have access to 90% of the stuff that you talk about and I'm also on a no-buy myself. I watch them anyway because it's a way for me to learn English from someone who speaks beautifully. It's funny, I wouldn't stand 40min. video from someone else, but when you speak it's all OK :)
I can relate to what you said about no-buy being stress-free. It takes the burden of choosing what to buy and this agonizing long process of screening the best little thing for me. For me, the problem with buying wasn't really buying too many things but spending all this time to find something that would be perfect.
Sorry, this comment is all over the place but... well I'm all over the place and who isn't?
Your honesty and your ability to express your feelings and thoughts in such an eloquent way, is exactly the reason I watch your Videos.
I See myself in you a lot.
Keep Doing you! 💕
Thank you for the raw and imperfect ending. Totally worth the watch. I appreciate the logic and the fact you aren't completely scripted this time (not that you always are but this time not as solidified in your thoughts if that makes any sense?) It is a process. I applaud you for being so public about it.
I think it could be interesting to add money into the PR portion of what you take in from your reckoning. Kinda how Lauren Mae Beauty does.
Bah humbug. That is how I feel about the whole PR argument. Personally, I appreciate that you make it clear what you receive as PR. Someone that is at least that open is someone that I think will be honest with their audience. Unfortunately some will never budge in their head about PR and it being a terrible corrupt thing. I can understand that it would be a discussion you're tired of having. I even understand your argument that it is a subpar form of payment, while nice it is not an actual wage. Some people just aren't willing to open their minds. Others may just be new to your channel and new to the conversation. Idk you can't make everyone happy, so you may as well make sure that you are at least happy. Much love Hannah! Take care 😘💛
Hi Hannah -- I just want you to know that your videos are so very helpful to me! My area of over-spending and over-acquiring is in the pen/ink/paper/stationery area ... and it is so interesting to me as I listen to you how similar the experience is ... I just need to replace the types of items and I'm sure my budget is on a smaller scale but everything else is SO similar. When I do that ... I also imagine what you might think of my excess stationery stuff ... and I catch myself realizing that it's all the same really. Beauty products or stationery things! My channel is tiny compared with yours but I too get things from companies and viewers. I sometimes feel overexposed. I'm on a path (a long ways behind you) toward healing all the "too muchness" and toward minimizing to some degree ... it's practical and spiritual and complicated like you said. Sometimes it's so hard to separate the things I have in my space by "personal" and "for the channel/review". Stuff starts to blend together. Yet, I LOVE what I do and I am increasingly sharing with viewers my "allowance/budget" .....attempts to be reasonable and accountable!!! In this video one of the most profound things that helped me that you said -- was about disconnecting the money coming in from various gigs --- from spending! Having them be unrelated. Oh ... I'm going to re-watch that part of the video. I need that to really sink in!!! I think it's a major key I've missed. I really could write all day and still not fully express how much you've helped me with your willingness to be open about this subject. Today, I'm remembering things my Dad used to say to me about money ... he was maybe even too good at saving money ... but he used to always talk to me about the fact that just because you have money ... doesn't mean you have to spend it all. I wish I had listened better and practiced better. He'd point out someone he knew was a rich man and say -- "look he drives a sensible car". Things like that. Anyway. All this just to say ... thank you!!!!!!
Yours is one of the few channels I still watch, and that's because I enjoy you so much! You've made a difference in people's lives, please don't forget that 💜.
I tried being on RUclips for a while. I didn't even have that many subscribers or have anyone say nasty things to me, but I walked around feeling raw and expose literally all the time. So I get it. I hope you find a way to continue to share with us while also taking good care of you.
I appreciate your transparency. I think that being authentic involves showing people aspects of yourself that are imperfect, that not everyone will like. I don't think you can show your progress and the journey you're on while being perfect - then you wouldn't be showing the real struggle. You're trying much harder than most to be open and I'm so sorry you're dealing with people that are upset at that
I love all your checkins and this is my favorite! Progress is not linear, and new things come up so the time. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable!
F*ck the haters! The reason your channel is interesting, popular, and unique is because you are so vulnerable. If people are criticizing you or talking badly about you, it’s because you are doing something different and disruptive and effective. You’ve managed to catch even the haters’ attention-that’s an accomplishment!
Hannah, I really want to give you a hug right now. I'm watching this a few days after you posted it, so I hope your raw phase is already over. But still, sending you a big hug! I love listening to all you have to say about your emotions surrounding shopping and all (I can relate so much). Please don't compromise your transparency for anyone. Lots of love from Berlin! Have the best day today!
Ooh I definitely think you should do a coroner’s report on your 2017 beauty spending.
Coroner's report, haha I love that! Yes, I agree.
I am on my second year of no buy. It is very liberating and I really appreciate your structured narrative on the topic.
My reason is more of decluttering and environmental reasons than budget reason, because I am quiet savvy with my finance.
However, after decluttering more than 2 dozens of big boxes of stuff and about 2 dozen pieces of big items like suitcase and furnitures, AND still have a full hpuse (neat, clean and not cluttered, but still felt full), in 2017 I realized that I also needed to stop the incoming of stuff coming into my house. Including free stuff.
I am very late to the party, but something I found very interesting in this video (which I understand may not be relevant to your personal experience as it was simply a turn of phrase, but encouraged me to reflect on my own perceptions) is the way in which you spoke about your “windfall” this month. I think you labelled it as “some small payment of $100”. It is interesting to consider how we have psychologically conditioned ourselves to view outgoing money as being worthy of more emotional labour/response than incoming money. That is to say money coming in just seems to be part of the regular cycle of “money coming in”, with a marked lack of joy or dopamine spike attached to it.
Money out, on the other hand, is seen as a vehicle by which we can reach greater altitudes of joy. This realisation encouraged me reflect on the ways in which I need to look at all money coming in (be it salary, gifts etc etc) with a lens of abundance, with the view that in the long term I will reverse the equation so that I feel greater joy in receiving/saving than I do in spending.
We are regularly encouraged to take incoming money and automate it into a savings account so that we never hold it in our hands and expose it to our unruly desire to spend. I am now considering whether there is some value in taking the time to tell your incoming money exactly where it needs to go and attaching “tasks” to the process in order to make the whole thing a little more tactile, and therefore a more psychically valuable experience.
Thank you for not cutting the vulnerable bits - I really appreciate it. I've been so grateful to find channels that show more than just one side of themselves here on YT while also talking about fun makeup. Your honesty inspires me as a creator and a human. I'm sorry September felt like a 2-steps-back kind of month - sending you love. ❤️❤️❤️
I am loving your authenticity and I love your channel.
Messy and vulnerable is beautiful. If people are uncomfortable, it's because they have different values than you, or that they haven't reached a point where they feel comfortable with their own truth and therefore resent it in you. Don't let them stop you. :)
Hannah I’m hoping you didn’t think my previous comments about PR were meant to “crucify” you...not at all! I was simply looking from a psychological point of view how receiving PR changes what you spend your budget on. I’m devestated that you might think people like myself who have embraced your journey, would be so cruel. I wasn’t criticising...merely making my own observations.
She has a video on how PR has affected her budgeting 😊
The reason that I like and trust your channel is because of your transparency. And it's really sad that that thing is something you get crap for.
I think it's good to vent/share about the pressures of this job, and the scrutiny and judgement that gets heaped on you from it. I vent to friends about my work and things that happen that I may feel are harsh and unfair, and you're doing the same here. This is a job, but just because you've chosen a very public one, doesn't mean you don't get hurt or feel crappy when someone posts something hurtful - you're not some unfeeling machine and people need to be made aware of when they cause hurt to others.
If people want to keep hearing the same messages from your no buy year, they can absolutely rewatch your first year of videos.
You've already lovingly created that content and shared it with all of us. You are on to new things and new challenges -- go you!
You’re such a beautifully flawed and amazingly perfect human being 💖
You said what so many of us feel perfectly!
You are actually right about the human brain being ill-equipped to handle the idea of being followed or seen by 25,000+ people. Our living in large cities is a fairly recent thing in human history, for the majority our species' existence, we lives in small hunter-gatherer tribes. Cities with 4 million people in them are so ridiculously recent, it's normal to feel overwhelmed, of course we can barely process it
Hannah I’ve been feeling crummy lately and been faced with the temptation of buying makeup to make myself feel better. This no buy year was entirely inspired by your journey and has borne so many rewards so I will plod along. Thank you for all that you do. I think you know that your utter venerability is what attracts so many of us to your channel. These haters don’t deserve the privilege of watching your content 😉
This is so interesting to watch because your openness and transparency about how PR affects you and your budget is precisely what I appreciate so much about your channel! I am consistently frustrated by influencers on low or no buys that receive PR and never discuss or actively ignore how one affects the other. I can see how uncomfortable you feel in this video and my heart aches for you. Thank you thank you thank you for being such a lovely gem on this platform! I and so many others appreciate you and getting to see your unique journey so much. All the love to you!
Not sure if its just the way my mind works but the specifics are what keeps me interested and able to concentrate
Should a family budgeting channel have to disclose everytime they are invited into someones home for dinner? After all, it is a free meal. I think most people would say not. As normie non-youtubers we still get gifted things (maybe not straight from the company) and things fortuitously fall in our laps, it's a quirk of life. People need to just calm down and not expect you to carry the yoke of their unrealistic ideals of what a person on a budget should be.
Don’t EVER stop being transparent. That is what we love about you and what sets you apart. It’s a breath of fresh air and quite noticeably absent from the vast majority of influencers. If someone is putting another down for being vulnerable and honest, that says much more about them. I hope this month is better all around for you! Keep up the great work - it is much appreciated ❤️
Okay gurl, loved this video. Love your videos. Fellow MFA poet here. Some thoughts on your current Catch-22: your channel is also growing, so you're more likely to receive more hate. Your channel is growing, so you may be receiving more PR because you are getting the attention of more brands. I don't judge you for receiving PR. I think ... if we were all honest with ourselves, and we were on a budget or no-buy, we'd all happily receive PR. What a resource. What a reward for uh ... working [nearly] for free to create content. Basically, let the haters hate. Let them get whatever it is that they get from putting that out into the world, but don't make it your brain garbage. It's their brain garbage.
Dear Hannah... I'm sure I speak for thousands of followers when I say that we simply love you and enjoy listening to you and learning from you every week. If only we lived in a world when it was common to express love for ourselves and others far far more often than we express criticism. But, Dear One, so many of us love you and love hearing your story with all of its beautiful ups and downs. Your vulnerability is a gorgeous strength. And we LOVE you for telling us all about it!! 🦋🧡🦋
Given the amount of time you spend creating content and not getting paid, I think it's fair to consider pr as part of your compensation for productive output. People also they to get jealous of the perceived unfairness of other people getting stuff "for free", but pr is not "free", it is sent with the expectation that you make a video, which means that it is an obligation, so they are misunderstanding what the nature of what pr actually is. At least, that's the lens I would consider that particular criticism through....
This is what I think about EVERY time I see those criticisms! I feel like none of the critics would take issue if, for instance, her rules said that ad revenue from her channel could supplement her beauty budget each month. (Or extra income from side gigs, or what have you). Taking PR is just like that *except* kind of a poor substitute since she doesn't get to freely choose how she "spends" that compensation. *And* taking PR allows her to receive compensation for her work while still separating her income from her spending, which is clearly profound for her & anybody who's ever been paycheck-to-paycheck.
Hannah, you are one of the most intelligent, articulate, entertaining youtubers! Love love love your work
Do you delete the cruel comments? Because whenever I read your comments,all I see is love and admiration and appreciation from everyone,maybe that is all I see because that is the way I feel. Please remember that haters can just stop watching,nobody is forcing them to your channel.
Love your complicated and weird life!
She does delete critical comments.
Hannah, you might be experiencing a hormone change. It happened to me at 34 :-). I appreciate your videos so much. They always make me stop, think, and apply your observations to my life. You help trigger my own self-awareness. Sometimes I avoid watching BECAUSE I know I will see myself in you and have to self-assess. But I always relent and am always happy I dive in. Hugs to you
Tldr; it stinks people write awful stuff about you. When you are already feeling down, shit seems to hit the fan even harder. Take some time of to focus on becoming insync and happy with yourself. That way the haters gonna hate.
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Hi hannah. I’ve been following you since half way your no buy year. And you have inspired me a lot. I am also trying the fewer nicer things tactic throughout my life and sometimes i am doing great, other times not so much.
When I beat myself up over it (which I also do, it is very relatable) I notice that I also take everything people say as a negative thing. My partner pointed that out to me. He would say something like: ‘your hair looks like a tornado today! Nice’ and I would be in full: ‘see, even my hair doesn’t like me. I’m a zero. A waste of space. The day had come and gone and i have achieved nothing. Etc.’
He didn’t mean anything by it. He likes my hair (I think 🤔) and whether it is in full tornado or summer breeze mood, it is just hair. It has no reflection on me as a person.
He tought me in that moment that when I’m feeling down everything just sinks in that bit harder, deeper, faster. And when I’m in a good mood, it just is either funny, it slides off or completely laughable out of absurdness.
What i meant to say is: dear hannah. When you are already feeling down. Shit piles up when you read stuff about yourself. And it shouldn’t! As far as I can tell you are a lovely person with flaws as we all have them. You are open and honest and that is more then most people can say.
Don’t read the stuff people write for a while. Enjoy being you again. To it fullest extent. So that you can look in the mirror and say: ‘my name is hannah, and i am living my best life while I’m doing my work in the world. I’m working on bettering myself in all the ways I know how and for that and all the other things I do, I am *bliep* amazing. Whatever people may say or think. Beacuse my name is hannah and this is my life.’
Ps. Sorry for the awful grammer. It’s been a while since I had to write in english.
Sorry for the silly comment, especially considering the really important and interesting things you talk about in this video, but it looks like at 7:51 Sadie is floating over the plant in the background 😂
Congratulations on being quoted for Vogue Portugal! And right in the September issue! (only read the magazine yesterday)
Ultimately, dear one, it is your journey. I know it’s hard to ignore those who criticize and want to emotionally take you down for a life that you have created; created through hard work, diligence and a whole lot of moxie but they are operating from a place of negativity and lack. That is not the place you are coming from and blunting your honest assessment of yourself and your processes would be a disservice to your being. For all the “haters” there are plenty of us who enjoy your journey and your raw openness and appreciate the fortitude it takes to be exposed in this way. No matter where the journey takes you, keep being your authentic and questioning self! Best to you!
THANK YOU for staying true to you, being honest about how PR affects you, and for letting us in on how it is to be a human on the internet!
I don't have 25k subscribers but I also have experiences being cruelly berated online. It's to the point where I hesitate to comment on any RUclips videos outside the small makeup project panning community because I'm terrified they'll be met with horrible to receive replies.
I once commented talking about feminism on a Phillip DeFranco video and oh boy that was a rough ride. I ended up turning off notifications after being called the c word one too many times by strangers.
I want to share this because I know that even if they're a minority voice, it still hurts to get dragged online. I can only imagine it's more intense with more of a platform.
Sending lots of love! So grateful for your videos, I love listening along as I get ready for my day in the morning. 💖
One of your most admirable qualities is your transparency hannah. It takes a true strength to always be open and honest as it is harder to live that way at the scrutiny of others. Your right, it can leave you vulnerable but let it. Its where we reflect on ourselves the best. Ultimately you are consistent, you develop, your not afraid to say sorry or put your hands up and admit things arent perfect. You have integrity and your values are worth more than your weight in gold. Some people cant handle that, they prefer to be fooled. Its says more about their mental inflexibility than you and the way you conduct your channel. Be proud. Those that slate you about PR fail to see the full meaning of your channel and the message you deliver. Its not about the budget really but a complicated internal process that most people stuggle with in thier relationship with thier inner world and the external one we interact with. As for the eyeliner. If you like it, keep it and sod the backlash. There isnt a fool anywhere out there, that in real life wouldnt snap up a feebie if they were budgeting. No one is stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth if the gift is right for them, at the right time of need. That would just be unnecessary self punishment and wasteful.
I wonder as a solution to the PR challenge: you could devise a system where if you keep the item sent you deduct its worth from your budget. As though your buying it. That money could go into another savings account that has nothing to do with or isnt dicussed as part of your channel. An emergency fund per say for things that dont fall into your budget catagory for the purpose if your channel. Then your beauty budget balances to the satisfaction of the moaning minnies out there and reflects 'real life ' as some would say and you get a double win by savibg more money 😜😁
You dont have to. You shouldnt have to and your system is just fine the way it is to me but if it helps quell the negativity it might be worth a try
X love and light x
Hannah do you have debt ? I would love to know I’m in debt and how do you manage saving money, with debts and a beautiful things budget !! Love you ! ❤️❤️
I wonder if you might be having an imbalance in your system that's making you really tired. You could also possibly be experiencing micro wake periods during the night so your sleep is much less restful and restorative. What im saying is don't beat yourself up there is probably a reason (this is normal for many people as a diet can change month to month or other outside influences change).
I think you are great. Everything you say makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't worry about the haters, easier said then done. The truth is everyone wants you to be perfect because they are not.
Hannah, thank you for being so candid with us about your life in general, it’s helping so many people to get better at spending their time and money on beautiful things. I really like your approach on fewer nicer items. There’s always gonna be haters out there, never mind them, keep up the good work. Also I’m glad that you’re able to receive PR, you’ve earned it! ❤️❤️❤️
This was so good to hear! I feel as if some people get over things quickly, while I fester over details and feelings. It’s nice to know that this internal debate just makes me human 😁 An anxious and complex human! Haha
On the topic of why it's harder to let go this month than the month before: It could be that in the back of your mind you thought "Oh, this is just a phase. If I treat myself kindly and don't let it ruin my day, my good habits will naturally fall back into place." Now that the little voice in your head sees the "problem" isn't immediately rectifying itself, the voice is returning to the old tactics of beating you up to make you change. This is something I've struggled with for a long time, and I still work with my therapist to find new ways to distract/silence that voice when it isn't happy with the progress I've made. The fact that you recognize the change puts you lightyears ahead, though. It's taken me years to be that self-aware, and now that I am it is much easier to stop myself from backsliding all the way to step one.
I believe it was July or August where you purposed to wear two bold lipsticks as much as possible the entire month. I noticed you did, but I'm wondering if I missed an update video where you shared your thoughts and progress on those lipsticks after wearing them so much. Did I miss that? Can you direct me to which video that would have been? Thanks!
I love who you are and I so love your transparency and I so love that you didn’t cut your transparency out of this video. You have no idea how much you’re helping me.. I started a no buy today because of you. I feel like you are a mirror of me sometimes because our personalities and wants and needs are so extremely similar. I can relate to every single thing you say. I haven’t stopped watching your videos for an entire week, and I think your videos are going to carry me through the tough times of my no buy. I’ve been looking for support for so long for my silent battle, and now I feel like I finally have it.
Oh Hannah I admire you so much. I watched all of your 2018 no buy and have been following your budget videos this year. You have certainly influenced me and the more complexity you choose to share the better.
It would be wonderful if personal development was a simple linear process...
Your RUclips is work. The eyebrow pencil was pay. Don’t feel guilty for getting paid for what you do. You didn’t “buy” it but you did earn it. Feel good Hannah. You got this x
Thank you for not cutting that stuff and for being yourself with us 💜
The rawness of this video was highly valued by me. Thank you for your priceless reflections!
Hey Hannah! I totally relate to fantasizing about my old spend-y ways. Sigh ...It was so great to just buy whatever I wanted. It also felt really shitty after. Nowadays the tedium of restriction gets really old sometimes, my closet may not be stuffed, my makeup drawers aren't overflowing, but I don't think I notice how much less anxiety I have now, I just see what i'm missing and i'm bored with it. Maybe I should just meditate in consumer boredom... get really comfy here, lol.
And after your eyebrow story, I must admit my first thought was - it was unfair that you got the eyebrow pencil for free in PR, how convenient. But I realized that YOU HAVE PAID for that pencil, with the work you do here! Not to mention how exposed you are now, and not always in a good way. You did not get it for free at all! If anyone else wants free stuff from PR, become a hardworking content creator (like you), nothing is stopping anyone.
Your openness and the resulting vulnerability is one of the things that I love most about your channel. Your videos remind me that I love curating my personal style because I enjoy being creative and appreciating beautiful things, not because of the products I can buy. Thank you for remaining open even in the face of criticism!
You’re so fluffin’ relatable! I love it.
😂😂...I loved it! I'm glad you didn't cut the last part, I enjoy your channel and the way you talk about the different struggles you through it down to your thoughts. I can relate and will like to get to a similar stage in my life when it comes to money and spending. This year has been a lot better and I'm no where near where I was last yr or two years ago but I'm not where I need to or would like to be so watching your videos and listening to you helps me to keep moving forward. Great video and I hope October is a better month for you. 👍👏❤
Dear hannah, your channel is probably the main channel i watch religiously on youtube. I too am doing a no buy year and although ive slipped up a few times your videos bring me back on track and all in all ive felt so many of the great financial benefits of not spending comical amounts of money on makeup and how to be grateful for all that i have instead of wasting brainspace on desiring things i dont need, or can easily “dupe the vibes” of. Your eloquence, thoughtfulness, authenticity, and transparency i think is so valuable. The truth is we cant be perfect, and speaking thoughtfully about those things well... it encourages me to think thoughtfully about the moments i feel weak and slip up, and then i watch a video of yours and realize that some of those moments are human and then i see the bigger picture and im back on track. I think its crucial to be unapologetic about those human feelings, you cant suppress humanity, and if you try it causes all types of problems. Perhaps the haters need to hate because they feel insecure and think they can make themselves feel bigger by making you feel small, but the jokes on them. Thats not how it works. Being honest with yourself is the best thing you can do, and when i see you work through those thoughts im reminded i can do the same. So thank you. You do you boo.
Ps, id love to see videos of your spending habits before the no buy year
And your channel has a really valuable contribution to make x
I'm so glad I found your channel last year. I feel like I was able to prevent my shopping habits from becoming worse because I was definitely on the route to becoming a shopaholic. I did a low buy year and so glad I did because it helped as I moved and started a new career not to go crazy with my spending. Thank you for the work you do and those of us in your corner appreciate you in all your triumphs and imperfections!
I’ve been in the “2 steps back” motion as of late but you and this video remind me that the “1 step forward” can still be on its way. I applaud your endless courage and straight forward approach with your channel. You’ve given a gift of realizations to people (like me) and, if some can only find faults, I hope you know others (like me) find hope. Xo
As so many people have already done, just wanted to comment as a regular viewer who absolutely loves watching you. Rarely comment but watch almost every video. I so enjoy your insight into human psyche, your ability to dig deeper into an issue and your fun sense of humour. I always leave after watching feeling light hearted but thinking more about what had been said. Love that your videos are like that for me Hannah. Your financial situation is never going to be the same as mine or anyone else’s, but the underlying thoughts about budgeting and self soothing are still relatable, and I love hearing about your feelings towards budgeting and your transparency over it all. Thank you for what you do!
I understand totally the shock at the idea of being exposed to so many people. I don’t have a RUclips channel but I feel it about my job
You should watch Samantha Ravndahl’s three month No Buy vid! She totals all her Sephora purchases then puts them into percents of what she has actually used etc. So interesting 🤔 and informative.
Also F the haters, you are amazing and helping SO MANY people ❤️❤️
Haters for me are difficult to deal with . I was once told I needed to grow lizard skin. But my dream was always why can't we live in a world in which that is not necessary.
I have just finished my no bye year the first of October, it has changed me on so many levels and your videos helped me whenever I felt like I'm alone in my journey or when I felt unmotivated. This type of ideas should be spread so I hope your channel will grow more!