I desperately needed to hear this. But the fact is that editing/anxiety process has been going on since the beginning of me writing my novel. So now I am just overwhelmed because I have just ended my novel after years of working on it. I am at that point where I have to read it one more time and then send the manuscript to editors but I feel like I am stuck in that part. For the life of me I cannot read it without having all of these thoughts of not being good enough or having to rewrite a section I have already checked a thousand times. Back in those days where I was just riding with the flow, I did not dread that part where I had to go back and read again. But now that I’m done I have this huge feeling of loathing myself and my work and I feel like I should burn it before anyone has A chance to read it. But at the same time I know that I can do a good work and when I re read some sections I feel like I was inspired and that it is so beautiful. But still it does not help me with the self loathing and self critic. Also I’m at the point where I just wanna get over it and I operate on that nostalgia of those years where I was in love with my characters and I was waiting to meet them in my work.
Hey Winter! So, that feeling of wanting to burn your novel at this stage is actually REALLY common. I went through it myself with my first novel. In fact, I emailed a friend and literally said, "I just want to burn this whole book so that no one can ever read it." I thought I was being crazy, but then when I started working with writers years later I found that it's super common to have those thoughts about torching your work. It seems to be a self-protective mechanism. Like, when we reach the stage where we've actually finished it, the fear of rejection becomes almost overpowering and our mind turns to destroying the work so we don't even have to risk that great of a level of rejection. From what you've described, it sounds like you're dealing with self-deprecation. I address this issue specifically for writers in my Joyful Writer video course (you can find that on my website under "Courses") and also there is an EXCELLENT book that will tell you all about self-deprecation called "Transforming Your Dragons" by Jose Stevens.
@@LaurenSapalaINFJ I am so grateful for your answer and I wish I had found your RUclips channel back when I started to write my very first novel in 2014. Writers should know that this anxiety has nothing to do with their talent and they shouldn’t beat themselves up when they feel stuck. I will definitely check your course because I need some guidance ♥️ Your work is amazing and I always wait so impatiently to have the notifications of your videos 🌹
Hello, Lauren! Good points! How do you manage to explain the process and all the pitfalls so accurately and orderly? As an INFJ I've struggled with that all my life. I experience things, have a lot of thoughts, but I just forget them pretty quickly and it's like I've never had them.
Hell, my inner critic is nattering on in my ear even as the words are hitting the page. And I'm questioning whether anybody is even going to like/enjoy what I'm putting out. I'm liking the story, or I did when it started coming to me but... I'm not most people. I'm weird by comparison. And on and on and on and on... until I'm just miserable, and the writing itself is a slog. I feel so bored and contrived with it. And it just turns into a big black nasty mess inside. And I hate myself for days, weeks, or months. But this doesn't happen, really, when I do collaborative writing, or co-writing in a relay within a shared world. And I wish I knew how to get the same ... experience writing on my own. I don't generally have any of that negativity, or issues. And the thing is, in that environment, there's no second chances. No going back and fixing, no editing. You either get it done before you 'send' or... it stays like that. Usually.
Hi Tearstone, I have seen this with other intuitive writers! It seems that some intuitive writers very much thrive when they do collaborative writing, but not so much when they're on their own. The struggle is that it can be hard to find a community that feels like a good fit for this sort of thing. I will keep my eyes and ears open and if I come across anything good, I'll be sure to let you know!
@@LaurenSapalaINFJ - Thank you, I would sooo appreciate that. I do have a few folks that want to co-author something for publishing, but I find once we start the process, I start putting tons of pressure on myself and lock up.
My inner critic is such that i bury the thought of writing my book for years at a time. For example, when i go to the library, the bookstore, the flea market, Amazon, i see the thousands of books and think, "the last thing the world needs is yet another book, especially any of the repetitive nonsense you dream up. Everything you want to convey has been done hundreds of times, and by better writers than you could ever hope to be."
I desperately needed to hear this. But the fact is that editing/anxiety process has been going on since the beginning of me writing my novel. So now I am just overwhelmed because I have just ended my novel after years of working on it. I am at that point where I have to read it one more time and then send the manuscript to editors but I feel like I am stuck in that part. For the life of me I cannot read it without having all of these thoughts of not being good enough or having to rewrite a section I have already checked a thousand times. Back in those days where I was just riding with the flow, I did not dread that part where I had to go back and read again. But now that I’m done I have this huge feeling of loathing myself and my work and I feel like I should burn it before anyone has A chance to read it. But at the same time I know that I can do a good work and when I re read some sections I feel like I was inspired and that it is so beautiful. But still it does not help me with the self loathing and self critic. Also I’m at the point where I just wanna get over it and I operate on that nostalgia of those years where I was in love with my characters and I was waiting to meet them in my work.
Hey Winter! So, that feeling of wanting to burn your novel at this stage is actually REALLY common. I went through it myself with my first novel. In fact, I emailed a friend and literally said, "I just want to burn this whole book so that no one can ever read it." I thought I was being crazy, but then when I started working with writers years later I found that it's super common to have those thoughts about torching your work. It seems to be a self-protective mechanism. Like, when we reach the stage where we've actually finished it, the fear of rejection becomes almost overpowering and our mind turns to destroying the work so we don't even have to risk that great of a level of rejection. From what you've described, it sounds like you're dealing with self-deprecation. I address this issue specifically for writers in my Joyful Writer video course (you can find that on my website under "Courses") and also there is an EXCELLENT book that will tell you all about self-deprecation called "Transforming Your Dragons" by Jose Stevens.
@@LaurenSapalaINFJ I am so grateful for your answer and I wish I had found your RUclips channel back when I started to write my very first novel in 2014. Writers should know that this anxiety has nothing to do with their talent and they shouldn’t beat themselves up when they feel stuck. I will definitely check your course because I need some guidance ♥️
Your work is amazing and I always wait so impatiently to have the notifications of your videos 🌹
Hello, Lauren! Good points! How do you manage to explain the process and all the pitfalls so accurately and orderly? As an INFJ I've struggled with that all my life. I experience things, have a lot of thoughts, but I just forget them pretty quickly and it's like I've never had them.
Thank you. This was what I needed.
Hell, my inner critic is nattering on in my ear even as the words are hitting the page. And I'm questioning whether anybody is even going to like/enjoy what I'm putting out. I'm liking the story, or I did when it started coming to me but... I'm not most people. I'm weird by comparison. And on and on and on and on... until I'm just miserable, and the writing itself is a slog. I feel so bored and contrived with it. And it just turns into a big black nasty mess inside. And I hate myself for days, weeks, or months.
But this doesn't happen, really, when I do collaborative writing, or co-writing in a relay within a shared world. And I wish I knew how to get the same ... experience writing on my own. I don't generally have any of that negativity, or issues. And the thing is, in that environment, there's no second chances. No going back and fixing, no editing. You either get it done before you 'send' or... it stays like that. Usually.
Hi Tearstone, I have seen this with other intuitive writers! It seems that some intuitive writers very much thrive when they do collaborative writing, but not so much when they're on their own. The struggle is that it can be hard to find a community that feels like a good fit for this sort of thing. I will keep my eyes and ears open and if I come across anything good, I'll be sure to let you know!
@@LaurenSapalaINFJ - Thank you, I would sooo appreciate that. I do have a few folks that want to co-author something for publishing, but I find once we start the process, I start putting tons of pressure on myself and lock up.
My inner critic is such that i bury the thought of writing my book for years at a time. For example, when i go to the library, the bookstore, the flea market, Amazon, i see the thousands of books and think, "the last thing the world needs is yet another book, especially any of the repetitive nonsense you dream up. Everything you want to convey has been done hundreds of times, and by better writers than you could ever hope to be."
But we want to hear it come from you. ❤