Work is a Nightmare (with ADHD)
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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Living with ADHD is hard in general, but WORKING with ADHD can feel nearly impossible. How should we deal with workplace productivity, efficiency, performance, and team spirit, when we struggle to deal with our own problems?
In this video, you won't find out. This video is about work struggles.
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Bingo! Are we twins?
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Diagnosed but unmedicated here. Corporate job. I'm giving 120% of myself to achieve 80% of "normal' results. My supervisors don't really see in detail how I work but they see I'm trying very hard so they think I'm good. After clocking out my day ends. Repeat.
I also have same experience..i have to spent more time in understanding things and to put more effort than a normal person.But if i do a job repeatedly i can do it in a ok way..Now i feels like quitting the job and take a break.i never tested ADHD.should i test it.
This, 120% of the effort for 80% of the results. Life in a nutshell.
@@arunjoseph3099yes
Every point. But there are no ADHD friendly jobs in this society where everything gets faster everyday and everyone always wants to be the best. If you cannot keep up - you are just left behind -- sad but true.
Lord help us 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
Finally a good opinion instead of the usual "use your impulsivity to risk take" as if it was a good thing
What??? That's just bad advice. I can't even begin to tell you how many bad situations I have gotten myself into at work for impulsive actions and miscalculated risks.
@@SchwarzesSchweigen that's what I said, honest advice instead of saying flaws are good when they really aren't
@@faboitas Yup! Exactly.
it does for me. i have the mindset where i would rather die than be forced to do anything i didn't want to do. i don't feel like life is that valuable if i can't do what i want. it's like.. this is a game, if i can't play my way, i won't play. my rules, or no rules.
I have a good system at the moment. I work from home as a app designer/programmer and have a gym at my apartment which helps me break up my work day. I wake up and go for a walk to get a coffee. I check messages and then I go and do 30 mins cardio and then I come back and have energy to work for a while. Then back to the gym and then back to work then maybe a walk. I find breaking my day up like this really helps me generate energy with exercise or walking and then focus for a couple of hours at a time. Somedays I feel low functioning and won't do much intense work and try and do less intense work on those days. I definitely recommend exercising if you have ADHD.
Being focused for 8 hours a day is extremely difficult for me. Listening to music while I work helps the time pass, but not everyone gets that luxury. I want to be self employed ASAP which is my future goal (I'm in the trades).
We need an ADHD organization. Or an ADHD accountability network where we all just check in with each other and have some friendly competition/celebrations of things accomplished. I'm definitely one of the ones who have had to quit multiple jobs because of ADHD (my dad was the same). In the end, he could only work for himself. I've stuck it out longer, but I'm starting to come to the same conclusion. Man oh man is it a scary one.
Definitely twins.
It’s not god built people like us to be Free and explore and do as we freely choose not under forced labor to live under a piece of wood law 😢 but like everyone else said there’s not other job 100% better for ADHD then CEO but there are other alternatives, no one will give us any mercy just like the next mentally ill person except our brain is only wired to do things we want or enjoy and was never made to do other wise, that’s why I don’t see why long like mental disabilities like ours don’t get checks like $1000+ monthly because this is a hard life decision making illness as well
thank you for putting into words a lot of what i struggle with at work. Esspecially forcing myself to focus is so draining, and therefore anxiety inducing, that it can make me sick lol
I'm currently completely paralyzed at work (I work from home, thankfully) thanks to my adhd and I just stumbled upon this video. I can relate to this so much. Thanks for making this! Sometimes it really helps to hear from others that are struggling to know that you are not alone with this.
work from home has been so paralyzing for me, what to do ?
@@ashish.sharma_1 find the root causes. I had too much clutter so I put up a fabric partition from the rest of my space (clutter). I need to be next to a windows so I can get distracted for 30 seconds at a time rather than 3 hours of doomscrolling. I downloaded a self-care app “Finch” that only rewards and doesn’t shame, and my goals are whatever I want, starting small. I work from different locations (outside, library, coffee shop, home, office) to break up the monotony of boring tasks. I schedule an hour mid-day to return all phone calls and have a social time, then re-focus on tasks afterwards. I am constantly trying new things and even if it works for awhile, recognize I’ll stop using that calendar or planner or whatever so I don’t shame myself, I just grab the newest calendar and transfer my stuff there and move on. I buy updated ones so I can use them again later, rotating do it’s always fresh. Try taking walks, your brain works better. Solve problems on those walks. Write out your feelings before starting a timer “I don’t want to do this!” Etc etc. then start a visual timer for 5 minutes only to start the task. Sometimes once you start, you can keep going until more of the task is finished. And start with easy tasks in the morning or when your brain is tired, like a warm-up routine for the main performance/sporting event/dreaded work task. That strategy of do the hard thing first does NOT work for neurodivergent people. Keep lists of strategies to cope based on need: tired = nap, walk the dog, do 50 jumping jacks, overwhelmed = write out the feelings for 5 minutes, call a friend, take a break (use a timer, ideally get a Buddy to ensure you try again after the time is up), reschedule your tasks for easier ones, listen to classical music or white noise or soundtracks of nature scenes like a rainforest, ocean, etc. Hope you find some tips that work for you. ❤
unfortunately as one with ADHD. Employers do not care that you have ADHD. We are living in a society where it is a doggy dog world and results and numbers mean more than anything in the workforce.
That’s why self employment is the answer.
*Dog-eat-dog world.
ADHD is a disability and they’re required by federal law to provide accommodations.
Oh god. I just had a traumatic flashback of the first time I said “it's a doggy-dog world” out loud… I was 9 years old and everyone looked at me like I had a second head. 🫣🫠🫥 So mortifying.
I have had a ridiculous hatred of the phrase “dog-eat-dog” ever since. 😅
I have never seen anything more relatable
6:51 Quit? I never had the choice. i always get fired
"...
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares
..."
SAY IT AIN'T SO
I WILL NOT GO
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF
Wow. There was like 8 out of the 40 issues that I don't notice struggling with, all of the others are dead on. I'm 48 years old and have procrastinated to get checked for ADHD. I really want to see a therapist now. Thank for your enlightening videos☀
Is there a job that doesn’t require you to work 8-12 hours a day, but doesn’t require college education. Because…I identify with literally everything said in this video 🤦🏾♂️
Bingo and Omg! This is my life every day. I can’t stand my job and I’m hoping to find a way out before they fire me.
I like your comment about pretending being draining and also authority is a difficult issue when we are all human beings very relatable.
I have had major struggles holding a job exactly for these reasons. Now it makes sense. 1st job-zoned out. 2nd job at a yogourt joint, obnoxious as heck but hey, it lasted a while, but other people hated me. Tried teaching-was driven out and absolutely overwhelmed. Daycare, needed to take LONG walks on break, people thought I was weird. Worked in the physical fields, worked better, but still a struggle with distraction and sensory issues-left after 6 months. Office work was HELL, couldn't focus, worked in production, they were annoyed how much I hyperfocused and how awkward. To sum it up, colossal failure at maintaining work, and so much self hatred. Why didn't I get diagnosed earlier? I think I was shamed as a youth for being a failure, just believed that about me. No amount of hard work would allow me to overcome this on my own. Hopefully the right meds and continued mindfulness and therapy will help me move forward finally. Always perplexed why people steered clear of me or bullied me and why I could not succeed the way others had.
We're twins. It's hard for me to stay anywhere before I'm on someone's shit list and/or they try to put me on a PIP.
Exactly what happened to me. Now in the process of fixing my life.
I relate to this so much. I have been working in a project my myself, but when someone asks me something about that project, I completely forget.
Never diagnosed, but I got 39/40. My therapist told me I'm lazy, but I kinda' concern for myself.
Thank you for the video and give me another look on the situation for myself!
I agree 1000% with all of these. Work and work life is hell. I’m actually kind of good when I can focus. But mostly I can’t…
Thank you for all the effort and hard work you put into your content! You are an inspiration for many people out there. Please continue to be as awesome as you are!
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!
"Fake it till you make it". I used to have a job that stimulated me (dopamine). Then I started a new job that was a great promotion. It also stimulated me, until... I was put in a job that was very analytical and was concentrated on writing reports and analysis. For me, this was the first nail in the coffin. I was failing left & right and eventually, I got into trouble with the managers.
Got anxiety...? Depression...? It was only at the end of this process that I got a diagnosis for ADHD and everything fell into place. With one exception. The disciplinary process was nearly finished. I was "punished" for my performance at my job by being demoted and losing most of my salary. I had never been "disciplined" in my whole work life, but I was punished for suffering from ADHD and the associated anxiety & depression. I've been at my job for over 30 years.
I dislike how you get into a rhythm at work that satisfies your ADHD then your manager puts you on a completely different job that doesn’t do that for you and you just fail, or are miserable in it.
For me this was retail. I absolutely loved being on the sales floor stocking and setting up new merchandise. I would even be super passionate about truck day because it provided dopamine for my brain, I would absolutely love unboxing stuff, the chaos of it all. Moving around seeing actual progress. I absolutely loved that job.
Until they stuck me on register. One spot full 8 hours, not moving around. Not allowed to go anywhere else. It was hell. Don’t get me wrong I was amazing at it. I loved the people, I was super efficient when I hyper focused. But it was killing my spirit. It was mundane, repeated patterns nothing new and it deprived me of what I loved to do, stocking and truck day. I actually cried because I couldn’t do truck day with everyone else.
My manager had to ruin my systems with ADHD and I quit that job that I loved so much.
This sounds like me! I love that you organized what it feels like. I can’t explain it! Thank you! I am going to follow!
Single adhd mum of an adhd son. I had to persevere through it all. Colleagues lose trust because I’m confusing. One minute I’m a genius, the next I’m a total retard. I’m 50 now and no job. We make great entrepreneurs, investigating now. Finally, xx
Thanks for talking about this issue. I feel behind my peers who have the same level of education and experience. I'm not making the progress they are, and it's frustrating. If only I could get myself to "do the thing" more.
Twins.. and not just saying that.. brings me peace knowing.
I’m struggling with my job, following instructions is just so hard for me. I also struggle with memorizing directions and a lot of my co-workers are fed up with me. 😢
I'm so sorry you have to experience this too :( It's honestly so mentally taxing and then to have to deal with the pain of masking and the shame of unmet expectations.. I really hope you can find a place you are better understood and utilised at work and you don't have to feel this way anymore ❤️ I'm sure you are doing your best but it's just effin hard sometimes.. Just know you're not alone in this and it's not your fault and your worth is not determined by capitalistic means, but simply by the lucky fact you exist! 🌟
Same😢
I don't even have a job yet, but I can definitely foresee this being an issue just by how difficult it is for me to work on things consistently.
Getting started is insurmountable, and if I manage to do so, I'm exhausted after 5 minutes, and my mind fights tooth and nail to make me never do it again. And once I don't want to do it again even though I must, it will take me days or even weeks to return to the task, which is WHOLLY inconducive to a successful work life. No measures to combat this seem to work. Work was literally *not* designed for me, but I need money to live.
I’m struggling I’m diagnosed but unmedicated I think it’s getting worse the older I get
I just quit my job 2 weeks now and I started my vy meds today for the 1st time
How do one survive if they can't work like typical people? Has anyone figured it out? Help.??
Same issue
how :(
Tell me too... If you have figured out
Thanks!
Appreciate brother
Working memory is my "Achilles heel". It causes a REAL problem when I ask a coworker or supervisor a question and have forgotten the answer by the time I'm halfway back to my desk. 🤦🏼♀️ You'd think at this point I'd remember to bring a pen and paper to write down the answer, but that would make my life too easy. I tend to do things the hard way 99% of the time. I couldn't explain WHY if my life depended on it. 🤷🏼♀️
LOL got 100% 😂. This is why I'm subscribed.
NO WAY! My twin😮it's an honor!
you just described all my experience with work! and i never knew how my collegues could keep their focus and energy all day with all boring tasks we all did i was very aware of the zone outs when i physically couldnt handle the situation any longer so i just sat down anywhere and zone out then comes back in but then 90% of all the things i knew i should do was gone so then i had to ask my collegues what was supposed to be done again. there is just so many things that unconsiously drains my energy that every day in such environments leads to insane fatigue. I would literally go straight to bed or sleep at the couch after my workshifts due to my energy and especially my mental energy being totally drained out and that lead to me being very very irritated at everyone in the family for a reason even i couldnt understand why i even was mad or why i was so tired! and it was a loop the same stuff over and over unless i had a really shitty morning and something fun happened during the day only in those occasions i would not be drained of all my energy.
Omg only just found this video - had another wonderful end of year performance review and guess what it was your not achieving time again.
I really feel like more of these things should be known about ADHD and not the usual crap around your hyperactive (no I’m not!) your lazy (nope I’m not) your not productive or producing any work (no I am but I fear criticism of it and also it’s boring the life out of me so it’s later than you expected) change your mindset (yeah that’s a good one!)
Thank you so much for making this video I need to make something very similar!
That was great! Thank you! I think I will show it to my boss and some colleagues. And I could add some more points... ;-)
Got 40 out of 40 and I'm constantly confused or zoned out and don't have motivation to work anymore even though I owe the irs many mulas
I got about 23 points, but I'm not sure I was really paying attention to keeping track. LOL!
32 out of 40 so I’m mostly with you.
I do boring manual tradesman work (painter and decorator) and I like moving around for work more than when I had an office job and a plus side is I can listen to audio books, RUclips and music all day to keep my mind entertained.
I have really bad time blindness though so being self employed sucks… I’m regularly later than I am aim to arrive and I usually don’t have fixed hours which facilitates me starting late. I regularly run out of time getting towards a deadline too - I once worked a 32 hours in a row with no sleep shift in an empty house to finish painting it before new occupants moved in. Or last year I realised I’d badly over promised a big job and I didn’t have a day off for 2.5 months.
Realising recently I had ADHD has been a positive change and I’m hoping my future ADHD meds will help me focus enough to retain as an electrician to work with renewables. I struggled through my philosophy degree but dropped out of a couple of different masters courses in my twenties so I was worried if I’d get through retraining.
Everything you’ve talked about.
I get and understand.
Great great video. Felt like you were describing me. Thank you
love geramny. been there 2016 july. want to go back
Almost the whole list applies to me BUT 03:09 # 19 + 04:40 # 28 are so specifically accurate reasons why I can't find a job -since 2022. Specially with jobs that require strategies & planning etc that's gibberish to me!! I've been to many interviews and been to trainings but they always reject me for some reason. I'm a writer & interpreter (4 languages) and I know I can do things right. I've seen people in the same or higher positions with the knowledge of an elementary school kid! Which is infuriating. I have almost 7 years of experience but 0 networking/connections & 0 friends. Not a few like literally zero. Relations are important for careers. I don't remember I ever used my college degree to secure a job. Currently living in debt and have no idea where life is heading at 29. I only started thinking about adhd because my lack of focus kept getting worse and now I realize I've had adhd as a child but with my traumatic childhood there was no way to get it diagnosed! And now it really does feel impossible to work/keep a hobby/have a friend/live at this point.
I relate so much especially understanding a task. I feel so nervous and anxious going to my work place because the coworkers are not friendly. They do not wanna help me, and answer me any questions I have regarding the work. I don’t know what to do 😔
Never give up! 😁
Having checked 27 of these points myself, I'm wondering: What has been your experience with sharing your condition with your employer/HR and maybe getting some special accommodation? I'm also based in Germany, so probably there are options - but I really struggle to reveal this and with the thought of any "special treatment".
Wow, 27! First of all, thank you for sharing!
I actually do have a story of sharing! I told my team leader and the manager, because we were very close and we shared a few things outside of work too. It was the week of starting medication and I suddenly felt like I had so much more to give and finally really understood that none of this was my fault.
I told them I'd been struggling and things were looking up and they were so happy for me. Sadly it was after I gave my notice of quitting so I don't know how that would have worked out in the long run, but I think I would have definitely, definitely found a lot of understanding at least with those kind people. They valued honesty and trying more than hiding and procrastinating which I'm sure many bosses do.
Anyway before the meds I also sort of let them know I need help without saying the words ADHD. I asked to work with headphones and to go to less meetings. I also asked to get more creative tasks to switch up my workflow throughout the day.
They had me do things like teach a little english class to the whole department and I'm a developer. It was really cool to just switch from that constant thinking to more speaking flow. They also let me draw graphics for workshops and design the web app. That was really nice!
So I guess this is my advice: share if you feel safe, share it in a not so direct way if you don't. I hope that helps ❤️
* I don't know if HR offer anything officially, I have to look into it. I would hope so!
@@AntoniasUniverse Thanks for sharing that! That's kind of what I've been doing lately/since my diagnosis: Mixing up my tasks a bit (including some maybe not so urgent, but fun ones), wearing earphones with some music to focus easier on certain tasks etc. Works well so far and also without asking anyone for "permission" or even bringing up ADHD. But I'm still figuring out a lot. :)
I got all of these and then cried my eyes out because I finally know what's wrong with me. Thank you thank you .
I do have bingo. I had an overbearing boss and it did keep me motivated but I got exhausted after a while. Now I have a project where I do have room for creativity which is nice, but so weird I am exactly the same way... I take things too personally at work and if I have a meeting it does drain my energy. I usually respond to emails immediately after I get them, so I don't forget. I also hate going back to my project and changing things...
I think probably at least 50% of these apply to everybody...in saying that work is pretty much a nightmare for me and sometimes I don't even know how I keep a job. It is stressful having it hang over my head as my mind is in chaos trying to stay focused.
Find something where you work alone. I do landscaping and it’s super good. Understand yourself thru clarity and ADHD is gone! Look for videos on understanding your healthy authenticity and individuality.
Never related to something more in my life
I think I got around 25. I'm anxious and a people pleaser so I like talking and message back immediately to people I like. If it's a scary message then I'll procrastinate but I haven't forgotten. I just can't bring myself to answer.
I relate to the "scary message" thing so much! And I feel like many of us turn into people pleasers as a coping mechanism :(
At work now unable to kick my brain into gear so that I can actually work. It’s impossible right now. ADHD paralysis has set in.
Multiple times I've gotten into heated arguments at jobs and ended up quitting
I laughed so hard at this (not at you) because of how badly I relate! "Feeling like you suck sucks." Girl. I get it! I'm pretty sure I've had more jobs...like CAREER jobs in my field, than my age number (and I'm in my 30s), all because of these struggles. Again, I get it.
beyond real 😭
Oh Shit, i feel Like that all the time... I even zoned Out during the video
Ghosting Grandma. Well thank you So Much for reminding me I'm doing the same!! 😭. (I'm just going to do it already)
I absolutely agree
35 points!!!! I'm so scared of entering the workforce after I finish my masters😬😬
omggg thats me!!! hell... haha
Thanks
Thank YOU so so much! It means the world to me to have your support!!! I wish you a lovely year ahead ❤️ and much less work struggles if possible! 😄 HUGS!
Had to watch this 3 times, i didn't pay attention the first 2 times 🤣
3:34 😂 me totally
Got 33 out of 40 (and yes, I had to rewind the video to see how many there were in total). 😅
The thing is, I take my meds as prescribed, and they do help but not nearly enough and not consistently enough to level the playing field. 😢
31/40 for me, though I confess I didn't keep an eye on the numbering, so I could've missed opportunities to add more.
Bingo. I’m 61 and in my life I’ve had 5 jobs working for someone else. The longest I held one was 2 years and the shortest was 12 days, most lasting 3-4 months. The rest of the time I supported myself and 2 kids by making beads and jewelry. Now I also do tie dye. The money isn’t good but I just can’t work 9-5 for someone.
Every single one of these. I recently asked to drop down to 4 days per week because I have no idea how to deal with the stress. I feel completely useless at work
Bingo!
i forgot my score after the 10th statement thing 😭
I'm diagnosis with adhd well im adhd paralyzed for some reason I can't hold a job to Save my life
This is meeeeeee!
I started off counting up my score, then started mindwandering. Hmmm.
I can resonate with a lot of the problems (34 points). But what do I do about these struggles? :(
It’s a long road to be honest… Maybe it‘s finally time I make the solutions part of this video. To give you a preview: it would definitely include a lot of communicating with others and making the work suit your style of working and doing things and nothing like trying to change or force yourself to be different.
@@AntoniasUniverse Thank you for the answer!
A video would be great. I think there aren't enough videos on ADHD and work out there.
I am planning to have a talk with my boss about accomodations for my workplace, but for a lot of struggles I really can't come up with a good solution. A lot of aspects of the job are in principle really suited for a person with adhd, but some are definitely not and that's really tough for me. It is also my first job so far so I don't really know how things could be different from experience.
Bingo!
I scored a lot, but lost count 😂 i am gonna guess like 4 i did not have... So yeah i guess i struggle more than i thought lol
38 out of 40 that's a weird match 😂
WOW, nice! Thank you for sharing your results too! :D
I lost count, but most of it rang a bell. Can I ask? Does medication do anything to stop these things?
I'm noticing that I can get on with things a bit better on the meds (mainly if I'm left alone to do things my way) but a lot of the awful issues, a lot of which you've mentioned here, seem to be just as bad.
Do the meds not help with them much, or is it just me?
Hey, thank you for sharing! I feel your pain.
I left my corporate job shortly after starting medication so I don't have too much insight on some of the points. BUT!
I work for myself every day and some of these points have definitely improved. If I guard my focus really well in the mornings, I can do some good deep work and get ahead for when the meds start wearing off.
I also take the time to prioritize and use all my coping mechanisms more consistently. It really helps that I know how I work best at this point and I have the freedom to work my way. For example, I try to work 6 hours a day max, but 6 or 7 days per week. It helps me stay balanced.
But lets be honest, it's never going to be great and the meds offer 40-50% relief at best. We cannot expect ourselves to jog like others if we have broken legs for example. We could try our very hardest and do well some days but other days the legs are going to hurt too much to walk with, perhaps we're not going to move at all. The toxic positivity surrounding this is insane in my opinion. No ADHDer I have met truly stopped struggling by learning some stuff and getting meds. They did improve a lot, but they struggle.
I wish I had more hopeful things to say. Hugs!
We deserve to structure our lives in a way that we can at least be happy and thrive more than survive.
@@AntoniasUniverse thanks for the reply. I also still feel it's going to be a massive struggle even with meds. I think finding a way to do some kind of work in my own controlled environment like you say is probably the only way to cope with it all.
Fuck the first year of my job for its forced and dragged out training!
Why do I relate to this so much!?!
I got 31.
30. Would probably have been a *much* lower score 10 or 15 years ago, before career took a huge wrong turn!
Sorry to hear that :( Environment plays a huge role for sure!
100% yes its so depressing
Bingo
Yep, twins. In the process of quitting academia.
Hi twin! ❤️ The struggle is real… I really hope you can find something else that feels better for you and works out right!! 😩
Did you have these issues at work even with medication?
Yes, especially over time some of them are coming back. Meds are 40% improvement in the case of Vyvanse, so I'm still 60% ADHD even on my best days... but it does get somewhat better and more manageable! It's worth to have that improvement because it makes so much difference over time.
This is me
36!
Bingo never related to anything more
..........
I Got all 40.
Fml
47 yo male. Quit landscaping job. Best job I've ever had. Due to needing to move country to be beside my almost 2 year old daughter I have to get a remote job asap. Chaos is very fulfilling for adhders. I recommend having children with foreigners and quitting careers every 7 years.. Now, someone help please wtf am I going to work at?
This is my life
Thank you for sharing too ❤️ I wish you so much strength!
Did you spy on me to make this video?? It's scary 😭
Do you have ASD? To fix it self soothe. This internalizes your emotional regulation. Regain self assured posture. This is how to fix autism! Fix ASD!then it will fix ADHD!
Not that I know of. Thank you for your comment though, I will read more into that!
@@AntoniasUniverse just ty it, please. You won't be wasting energy on the ASD and regulate as a self assured person. It changes from the autistic to the sled assured individual. It a huge mean joke. Autism is a joke, ASD is easily cured. You will easily have composure. I just wasted 40 years and realized this last night.
MOST OF the excuses you mentioned sounds like what kids say with no manners and discipline. This is not ADHD
Ugh. I was listening to this and my boyfriend is sitting here playing video games and he says “is this you?” 🥹🖤 thank you for this. I had a REALLY difficult week at work and feeling a lot of RSd
Bingo!
YAY! 😁 But also.. nayy 😭