Hidden Signs Of Manipulation
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
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I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.
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Thank you so much sis truly a gem
I just bought two copies of your book. One for myself and the other for a friend. I appreciate the work you have done and continue to do.
Hi, I just want to ask how do I get up from burnout? I just got depressed and then realized I burned out and want ways to feel better. Thanks❤
Seen n experienced all these it was a very difficult phrase of my life then! But when you learn to step away and rebuild your self that’s where time n energy is needed in healing n rebuilding yourself x
Mam
I am a medical student from india
I like your videos so much❤❤❤❤
I want to ask u one or two questions
1st is what is the difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist around their job profile
Absolutely bang on. My first husband did EXACTLY all 6! Took me 9 years, but I finally got out. Now celebrating 42 years with a wonderful man, 2 beautiful daughters and 9 amazing grandkids!
A beautiful story and hope for others
Congrats lovely so happy your free 💚🕊️
Thanks for sharing, I am in line., Next is me.
I am ready for the love that is waiting for me. ❤😘🥰
Glad you got away early to start family with someone you happy with 💞
I realised after 20 years, the same cycle happened for me.
7. They get rid of their own support system, alienating their own friends and family, so that you're all they have left. So if you leave, you feel guilty.
Hmmm. Good insight .
Don't let yourself be drown.
We, each of us have to take responsible for ourselves, our own choice.
So true here too in my case.
I feel awkward visiting or rather inviting my own friends to my place
Yes this is the worst.
This together with nr 5. It is the worst ever cus it makes u feel so guilty and like u have no choise but to stay.
Their biggest fear is having nobody. Being abandoned and living life alone. Their abuse toward you is their desire for you to leave. Realize this cycle is their desire for you to discard them and leave as they see a better life without you at times. Take the discard and get out, because in all actuality they do not want you around, but in most occasions they will not say it. They can not make up their mind what they as well as those they remain in this toxic and destructive cycle of abuse. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Take the their toxc actions as the prominance part of the relationship as the abuse and toxic behaviors is the primary part of the relationship. A loving relationship does not involve this type of toxic scenario.
True!
I was exactly in such a relationship. He cut me off totally from outside perspective so that I cannot leave him. He used to compare me with someone else to break my confidence. When we fight, he acts to hurt himself and make me feel guilty for it. When I thought of leaving him, he cried and told that I am his whole world.
It was a lot of emotional turmoil during these 4 yrs. Finally, when I broke free, I felt the world was mine again to explore. He came back in between telling he is in depression because I left him. I felt guilty but never went back.
Now I am married to another person who is wonderfully supportive and with him beside, I am reaching great heights in my career and personal life. I have never been happier.
Love to all those who are going through this. ❤
People who are involved in these type of toxic and destructive relationships must refuse to listen to their stories of depression, physically hurting themselves and their stories of unaliving themselves. It is about you and not about them. We can not afford to listen to these type of stories and step away and get out. It is their (own) toxic drama not yours and sense so allow them to carry it as it belongs to them. It does not belong to you as it is their chaos. We must let them have and carry it. It is not our responsibility to carry and parent them as in carrying their shame and guilt of what they perpetrated as well as to hold us accountable for past offenses against them by others. They want and expect us to fix and remove it, but we can't as we were not there and so their anger and rage and destruction continues.
I don't know WHAT the other commenter meant, but I'll say this ...
GOOD FOR YOU!
YOU RESCUED YOU!!
You took your future in your own hands & changed it!
Of course you were your ex's whole wo rld. A narcissist needs SUPPLY.
They take & take ... until there's nothing left but you & him.
No family. No friends. No money. Completely dependent on him. Isolated from outside ideas. You WERE his whole world.
BUT! You escaped! I'm sooooo proud of you!
A good marriage to a good man. So happy for you!
I wish you much joy 💜
You don’t see it until the damage is done. thank you Dr Julie.
All of this is absolutely true. I endured 30 years of this. In the end I was penniless and alone. But once I got out, everything got better, like that was the way it was meant to be all along. Don't let yourself feel trapped. Believe in yourself above all else!
Can you please tell us how you got out even though you were penniless. A lot of people are stuck with the. Purely because of no funds. Thank you and happy you escaped 🥰
@@moonkatmagic5599i would like to hear from the OP but I would think start with local support, like DV support for women etc
❤
All of them!! So true...wish these videos were available 20 years ago😢
So true❤
You appeared out of nowhere and renewed my hopes for getting out of narcissistic abuse.
This has been happening in my life. My heart says one thing, and my mind another. It's time for breaking free!Thank you🙏
Great video. But the saddest part is that often people end up in this sort of abusive relationships and think that it's normal 😔
They don’t think ita normal, they know it isn’t but the manipulation is so strong that it messes with their judgement. When they manage to get out and see the light thats when they realize how horrible it was
@@zeinaabotteen390
When your confidence is so completely destroyed over time, you lose the ability to be objective and possibly rational. I approve this message at 60 and after a lifetime of lost potential with regrets, encourage everyone to escape while and as soon as you can‼️🙅🏼♀️🤷♀️🌎🇺🇸🫶🏼✌🏽
@@zeinaabotteen390This scares me. How do I know if my judgement is bad or not?
Your gut will tell you something isn't right. write a list of things you know a loving partner should have in them. If they hit none or very little or the opposite, then its time to leave @ChaoticKris964
@@ha8236 Thanks
Dr Julie I like your psychology content. I am 14 years old and come from Indonesia. Finding psychology content like yours is a bit difficult here. I learned a lot from you. I hope I can become a great psychologist who helps many people like you.
Thank you very much dr Julie.
I completely agree with all these. I think Keeping the Score is another way of manipulation. When they are holding past mistakes over your head, even after you've apologized, to guilt you into doing what they want.
Listen to me. As a survivor myself. They will NOT change and you DO deserve love and you DO deserve better. I know how hard it can be to accept that and to immediately think "no, not me" and I know how deep your pain runs if that's your first thought when seeing this. Keep going, keep fighting, and keep your distance from those who would treat you the way Dr. Julie is speaking of.
i can’t relate to these but my heart hurts for those that go through this ❤
🫶🏻
🙏🏾♥️
It’s wretchedly hard to see this happen to anyone
❤❤❤ Amazing you wish well to others
😢😢😢
I'm in tears from watching this. Years of abuse and manipulation, the shame and fear one feels is so overpowering and unbearable.😥
I understand, been through that for 18 months and now I'm struggling to find myself 😅
So true. Take some time to rest, breathe, connect to your feelings and your loved ones, and follow your gut.
Yes, I'm going through this. I don't fall for the lies anymore but I have 0 options now.
I left once (with a small child too) and basically the only people who I have to help me told me I should go back and "as long as he's not hitting me I shouldn't be dramatic". And now I'm completely out of options. But I stay positive. One day I too will be free. Along with my baby as well.
Please take care of you and your baby.
People be damned u only have one life live it the way you want rather than living in regret and a what if. It is hard but it is for the best. Our society is terrible but sometimes we just need to break their chains. Hope you get out safely and that one day comes soon for you ❤❤❤
Gosh...that is so HARD but just plan whatever your going to do secretly...don't tell anyone at all plan your escape not when he is being abusive plan the getaway when he is nice so he doesn't suspect anything at all. I hope you can just leave and regain your mental sanity I know these relationships are draining....best of luck to you stay strong pray always and may GOD bless you and your baby.
I'm sorry you and your child are suffering because of him. When I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, I called the Women's Crisis Center (may be called something different where you are) and they had a counselor that talked with me on the phone once a week. It really helped me sort things out. I ended up finally leaving him but that doesn't necessarily have to be your option. They can help you come up with the best plan for yourself and your child. They can be someone who understands and who you can talk to for free and anonymously. Maybe look up crisis or abuse centers near you. Good luck!
I pray that you will recover your life health and spirit fully in the mighty name of Jesus the God of the impossible
No 4.financal abuse. That was new to me.
very common
@@moonhunter9993 very right
Rs 83×60.3 = 5000 .its the amount for a couple monthly for a decade . My father & sis r responsible . Each word said on clip is what I used to face now Damcare .
They r trying their best but zero 😅😅😅 Crap people
You could think of this for family relations too, some will deliberately keep you from working jobs that pay enough to get a car or pay rent so you can’t get away
This was my x
OMG, hi did all this things, I was a mess, every cell în my body was sick because of The fear and all that sh*t he served me. 13 years of pain. But now I have a beautiful relationship, found the love of my life. I am almost healed, I am stronger that I've ever was, and I thank universe for every day I live. Thanks for sharing this ❤
Congrats so happy for you 🕊️🤍
Thank you for sharing. Noticing I've been doing this and he just left me. Noticed too late... I hope he can forgive me and I can heal ❤
@@helenan866 Please love and heal yourself. Don't worry about him forgiving you as if you consume yourself with this you are at high risk to return. Focus and dearly love yourself as you deserve it. During your healing journey you will get a personal perspective and it will all make sense as you will be out of the toxic dynamic.
I can say all of these are true. Im leaving and wont let him to manipulate me ever again.
Thank you, I hope some one who needs this sees it and start thinking. And leave before its too late
So on point. I experienced each one of this in a narcissistically abusive close friendship. Took me very long but I could finally leave and went no contact.
I appreciate this. I am proud of my courage.
I now help other survivors of abuse heal and it's the best thing ever❤
Friendship is so different. You don’t live together, you don’t have children together, no joined finances, you are not in love with them, you are not married ( no legal contract) . Can not be compared
I understand what it would have been like. My heart goes to you. You're strong.
@@sunidhiprasad3566 thank you so much ❤️
37...
@@hautecouture2228yes, basically it’s next to impossible to get out of such marriages.. coz till we realise, the damage to self confidence has been done, the dependency is assured.. it gets tricky.. this is a tough trap to get out of..
WHY THIS IS NOT VIRAL??? I LOVE YOUR CONTENT♡
She postet it seconds ago
Because not everyone can relate, I don’t thank God.
Because many are sleeping or hibernate.
Or
It is common, see it everywhere and accepted it as it is. 🥴
@@MichaelBrinkmann-db1us
It's 3 weeks later.
Did you share this outstanding video?
I did. Several times.
I have never been bitten by a narcissist. As a matter of fact, I just heard about this label a few years ago and I'm in my golden years. That's why I share things like this. There are people still stuck in abusive relationships that have no idea WHY things like this are happening to them. They need to be educated.
@@simba8665
Not being able to relate to this video gives you zero reasons for not sharing this important information (to the greater public/world) so other people who CAN relate might understand what's happening TO them.
Many people in this type of situation have been programmed to believe THEY are the problem when it is absolutely not true. Help them understand that.
I had to experience all 6 steps by myself. I wanted to leave the first time after 3 Months, tried to get out multiple times, it looped everything. I finally was able to escape after 3 years. I felt an unbelievable feeling of freedom afterwards. From time to time it still triggers me today…
This is so true. Leave the cycle people you will feel so free after dealing with your emotions. Doesn't mean that C/PTSD doesn't occur....but eventually you will get there.
Narc parents did this and more during my childhood. It caused so much damage and formed a toxic default for what I would put up with from people, bosses, etc... Finally recognizing all of this as an adult and working on creating healthy boundries and rebuilding my self worth.
I listen to true crime podcasts a lot and this is a patter I hear about very often. It is truly horrible how people are brainwashed into believing that they deserve nothing better or that they can't live without this abusive person.
My heart goes out to anyone who who has ever been in a situation like this and made it out of there. You are so strong and brave, always remember that ❤️
Thank you!
@@HalloLuja you're welcome. Be proud of yourself because you truly should be
Trying to leave ..struggling becuz of trama, pstd.
@@DonnaMccall-qc7oi You can do it! Find someone that can help you. There are also anonymous helplines. I wish you a lot of luck and strength! ❤️
I left after years of Abusing Marriage
So accurate. I would like to share as someone who has been in that situation, don't loose to much time understanding it on an intellectual level, it doesn't make sense that's why it is abuse, emotional one. Spent that time to plan the exit plan and be careful with whom you share your experience, thank God we have virtual friends who open our eyes. I was surrounded by not good people and confesing to them would be determinant to prolong my escape. Choose you❤ trust you and feel you in your own body. How you feel is how it is!!!! Don't be fooled by words, outside fakeness. Stay safe❤
So true ❤
Thank you! Well said
My mum's boyfriend is like this. They've been together for over 23 years and it's been abusive for atleast 22 years. After many failed attempts to get her to leave when I was just a young child, my mom finally realised a week ago that he was trying to isolate her, as he's trying to take away her daughter, me. I knew that for over 20 years, but I'm just glad she realises this much. Praying she does what's best for her own mental health.
Her boyfriend hits all these points, however he doesn't exactly limit her spending, but when she buys something he always finds things that is wrong with it. In arguments he always mentions unaliving himself because "he is such a waste of space" (his words). Oh and according to him, the issues they have are my fault and I'm manipulative. Did he ever hear of a mirror?
There r so many good ppl in the world. If u r with someone that harms u, just leave. Harming u once is too many times never allow for another time..
It's easier said than done, the person on the receiving end has trouble with low self esteem and the person doing the manipulations most likely grew up in that environment. Very sad for both sides if you ask me 😢
@zizitop5590 I agree. It's very difficult. It's not impossible at some point. We have to make difficult choices for a better future. I wish anyone going through it well, and I pray they get out of this type of hardship.
Well, you have to have a lot of help and strength for really leaving.
You have to have people whom you can trust, no matter what kind of evil stories about you may be told by the abusive partner.
You have to be ready to lose everything more than your bare life.
And you have to have someone who gives you the experience, that what you live, is not the normal way it should be. ...
It is a long, hard and perhaps also a very dangerous way. Please don't underestimate that!
Just be there and don't go away, if you know someone in an abusive relationship. Do not give pressure, but opportunities and help if they are ready to flight.
@@naturelee2797 one day my bf slapped me because he felt hurt by what I said and after some days when I told that I don't love you , he punched on the wall and harmed his head by a rock😢
Learn the power of 'No', make it your favorite word. You have been conditioned by family to not have boundaries and the cycle continues for the rest of your life if you fail to develop healthy boundaries. Stop waiting for people to 'treat you well'! They have to see you treat yourself with respect and healthy boundaries (love) before they will treat you with any respect. Say 'No', it is a complete sentence. If you have fallen into an abusive relationship plan your escape as secretively as possible. Don't do anything to provide them. Going back afterward will be worse and you will regret returning, they won't change and don't want to change. It isn't about love, they are not capable of love. It's about controlling you or you and their old girlfriend, ex-wife, and on and on! They are great actors to convince you, you are the love of their life. If their mouth is moving they are lying. Pros at lying and cheating. And the kicker is they really have an animosity against women in general. They are not fixable. They question for you to examine is 'why would you try? ' It's not your job! Denial is not your friend, stop lying to yourself, you will never be more than a 'pet' to them; to fill their need to dominate.
Write down your deal breakers and don't cross them. Be the person God created you to be! Honorable, redeeming qualities, and a quality person. Start with keeping your panties on and your zipper zipped. Self respect brings respect.
This not only can happen with romantic partners but friends too. I had an bad friend that did 5/6 of those (nothing financial).
I experienced 5 out of 6 of these in a group setting that was supposed to be a helpful self development group. Sadly this happens slowly and so gradually you don't even realize you're in a high power controlled situation. Thank you for this helpful and confirming video
Happened to my friend... He made sure to cut all her external help. Made her dependent on him. Then started to criticise her. Slowly made loose her confidence. It was all about him and his preference. She lost herself. It took a long time for her to realise the reality. She ended that relationship with the help of her family.
The light is you can leave. It's hard and scary but you can do it. It is a long road but so worth it. You cannot put a price on peace and safety.
#7 they threaten to make it so you will never see the children again
That's a harsh one
And it's highly effective
more and more common with one type of parent who use the family courts to back them up on it..
It's not that they can, it's that they do. Very knowingly.
How hard to leave this cycle😭...
Thanks for sharing Dr. Julie
I experience all of those for 4 years. Broke up last week, currently have very heavy depression, some of my "friends" leave me because of him.. I hope it will be better soon
Stay strong, he probably did the smear campaign on all your friends, and that's why. Stay strong and live one day at the time, you will get there, others did and you can too.
🙏
You are strong and you can do this. Love yourself for who you are as God and Jesus loves you. An endearing and unconditional love. Don't regress backwards, but walk forward into a brand new life without all the drama and toxic chaos.
I’ve been through all of these plus physical abuse and r… 😢,I’m thankful to friends who supported me and helped me free myself and my kids .
It was a living hell that I don’t want to remember
So happy you are free. You are courageous and can now start your own life
This is what happened to my mother. My father is abusive. They are now seperated which is a great thing. Now that I think about it, I remember everything.
It's hard to realize, but harder to ignore it. Keep ya head up.
I experience all of that, and also he did laundry and chores at home to make me feel that I was so “fortunate “ nobody would take care of me like him. It was very confusing time and very dark.
Yep. Years ago I was in an abusive relationship. And he's a psychologist. 😵💫
The day I left him was one of the best days of my life.
And after that, when I found my voice and stood up to him, the spell was broken. I was completely Free~*
WOW 😮 Good for you!!!
@@user-cl2wd1xd9c 🥰😘😘😘
What if you realise this is happening? How would a person escape such a relationship? And how could they emotionally recover from such trauma
Walk away dear before your candles die!😢
This is very much what happens to you if you fall for a narcissist and their lies... Escaping is difficult and requires a solid support network and a well thought out plan (eg; where to go, how to maintain boundaries and not be sucked back in). It can be done (I've done it and I know others, some beautiful souls, who have done it). It is very hard but also VERY worth it.
@@helenc1668 unfortunately some find it too hard to escape and become suicidal
@@Mujahid2885 I'm aware of that too ☹️ Everyone I know who has been a victim of narcissistic abuse has ended up dealing with suicidal thoughts. It's nothing but tragic when the abuse results in the victim committing suicide as their only perceived method of escape, and I am very grateful for the information, guidance and support groups available.
Domestic violence shelters might be able to direct you to helpful counselling, support groups, safe housing, etc
no.5, i was in a relationship many months ago, and i was in a suicidal state since many years before and kept threatening to kms, not realising what i had done wrong, it was all out of my own fear for my life, and what would happen the day after and the day after, they left me and i felt 10x better without them. So, your point does work and thank you
Watched this video to see if my present relationship is ok. And it is more than ok. But my past relationship had all of them. I’m glad I got a small escape to run away from that.
Thank you dr.Julie! You book and your videos contributed to my awakening!
I really appreciate the Dr. Julie shorts because they are in a digestible format with not only the words but visuals to help solidify the message she is sharing.
Once my ex boyfriend and I were on the way to the grocery store which was pretty far from his house. After we were in the car for about 20 minutes I said, "Wow it's taking forever to get to the store." He proceeded to scream at me, yell at me, and once we got into the store he was still so upset at me he left the store without telling me and sat in the car. I had no idea what I did wrong and he proceeded to tell me that I was criticizing his driving and basically saying he's a slow driver which I wasn't. The store was far in general I was commenting on the distance taking forever. If I was driving it would've still taken just as long. But for him to start a fight and blow up and scream and yell at me over a misunderstanding is one of the many reasons we are no longer together.
I'm so sorry you went through this. Thank God he is your ex now. I hope you heal and find someone better for yourself ❤❤❤
That is insanely abusive holy sh. I hope you have recovered. ❤
This was totally the guy I moved up here with. I lost everything and wound up in bankruptcy, but I did finally regain my freedom. It's a tough road out, especially when they say they will "get you when you least expect it". I looked over my shoulder for many, many years.....
Thank you for listing these behaviors that many people experience but fail to articulate as well
I am not manipulating you. The changes you see and I am making are to genuinely become a better and happier person on a permanent basis. For myself and secondly for us. I truly want you to be happy.
Such accurate analysis!
100% on point!!✌️👍
Exatcly what hapoen to me took a courage and left after 20 years of torture😢😢😢😢❤❤❤Thank you dr Julie
You speak truth so concisely. Thank you for sharing these facts that hopefully will change lives and show people that they’re not “crazy”, they’re just in a manipulative relationship.
I am 6 years down the road of freedom and this still hits hard. I had no confidence when we left. I hope I someday can completly get over that and maybe trust a man so I can have a healthy relationship.
Please everyone start loving yourself, person can only destroy a human being who doesn't love themselves
My father is like this too I and my mother have gone thru many years of abuse, finally starting to break away from the chain only to realise it gets worse, but gotta stay strong ❤
Praying for your moms freedom, narc abuse is like being in hell.
indeed it is but i honestly dont want to quit until justice is served to wrong doers
@@soja2634
Threatening to harm themself is one they have tried.. I did everything to stop them
Spot on! You did a great job at simply & accurately describing this. Educating people about abuse is so important for people to get clarity and break free or be aware so they can support someone who is experiencing domestic violence. Often all of this is happening behind closed doors and others have no idea abuse is occurring. You may not even realize you are being abused until you seek professional support.
Dr Julie thanks for Open up our Mind & eyes !👍🏾🙏🏾
This describes my experience 💯 unfortunately we were also in business together and bc I rejected him now he's trying to destroy me 😢
Every presentation from dr. Julie is a pure perfection. I wish that teachers in school would have such an amazing gift!
Hi Dr. Julie..Your intelligence makes people realize the things that they see and do..God Bless ! You're Gods Angel!
Thank you. You put into words the most confusing aspects of my life
How to avoid being isolated when as an immigrant your family is in a different country. You get isolated no matter what. They dont have money to come to visit you and you dont have money to leave.
Wait that's hard, are you a female ?
Usually in some religion or some culture
A husband or family give wife enough dowry for herself before marriage so that something happens to her husband she can survive financially, even when she had a child
So the woman need to have enough money for herself alone
I've suffered all these in all my relationships. I pray my next is nothing like this.
I fully understand the cycle of abuse. Love the visuals ... snuffing 1 candle at a time. Powerful. Thank you.
I've been married for 34 HARD years. It's been anything but easy. We both have military PTSD. His was combat. Mine was MST (military sexual trauma) & a death threat broke me.
When I received my VA disability, I asked for a divorce. Again.
It's been 4 years since that last close call. He's seriously trying! I'm seriously trying!
BUT! ... I maintain my own bank account. I'll NEVER get stuck again cuz our money is "joint".
Nope. I'm keeping MY bank account! Nobody has access, but me.
It's been 4 years, & he's calmed down ... but, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cuz in the past ... it always has.
But, I didn't have my own money. Now I DO & it's tremendously empowering!
We've been married 34 years. That's HARD!
You gotta WANT that relationship! You've gotta be dedicated to it. You work through problems. And you soldier on.
Keep MORE of your candles lit! Don't allow them to be snuffed out! Stand in your truth of what you need & what your boundaries & rules of engagement are.
For instance:
My husband & I have agreed that no matter how volatile the argument is ...
NEVER threaten divorce, or leaving unless you are dead serious.
Rules of engagement. Gotta have them! Boundaries.
Good luck to anyone in the trenches making their relationships work!
It's HARD! ... but, the results are deeper understanding. Communicate. Talk! ... or it ain't gonna make it.
Much love to y'all!
Rose💜
This is so accurate its sickening
I LOVE YOUR CONTENT! IT HELPED ME A LOT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! BYE ❤😊
number four and five hit hardest for me. I was in an abusive relationship for three years, I would’ve managed to get out earlier, but everytime I tried to they told me if I left they’d kill themselvs and I’d saved too many people from suicide to not know how serious that threat was. Financially, I was only ever allowed to spend my money, that I had earned, on them or basic needs eg hygiene, food etc and every time I went out I had to show them all my receipts when I saw them next. It was an awful time, but with the right support I managed to get out of it.
Highly relatable. Trying my best to get out of the cycle
I love you videos!!! ♥️♥️♥️
It makes me realise so many things
🙏🙏🙏
So true mam
This is all very true . There is hope for those of you living this. I got out and you can too🙏🏼
So true, I didn't realise that I was going through all this until I got out. Had decades of abuse & am still trying to heal from it. If you're going through this, get out but find a safe way to leave & have a safe place to go. They don't like it when you leave & the abuse can get worse but its worth it to get your freedom back & start to find yourself again
A friend, didn't know her long then, read a book and realized that her relationship was exactly that. Cried a weekend, then took steps and got divorced shortly after. She's so amazing!!
Thank you dt Julie I have experienced this over and over for so many decades hopefully people will see these patterns and get out the longer you stay the harder it is to get out and it becomes more complicated with time and increasing age😢
Sooo soo true. I was in a narcissistic relationship with my ex and I’ve never been so low or skewed on my reality of life. Was a difficult time, but so glad I got away!!
.
I can definitely say that she hit that nail on the head.
Once you seen it you know the signs and learn to walk away sooner
Someone with influence in my life is doing all of those. Especially the harm one. But instead of harming themselves, they threaten to harm me. Thank you for reminding me.
I had 5/6.
Fortunately I was the one earning the money and paying the bills so didn't get that abuse.
But, that just meant that he could try to coerce me into helping him financially when his job started to falter on paying him.
Absolutely true and the cycle goes on. Mine continued for twenty years until I was so much drained and tired that I had I not left I would have died. Money was a huge part of the control game. He controlled it with all his might.
Happy for you you got out. How did you get out with no money ?
This kinda persons are called "Narcissist". That one dude broke the most strongest girl I know in my life... she's one of my friend. She did brokeup with him but, she's still hurting so much.
Speaking from experience... help your loved ones... in such situations. Most people can't decide what to do... Just motivate them to choose "Their Own Happiness" ❤
This had me crying as it brought memories from my experience
thank you for share awareness ❤
Abbsolutely right...but then..youll know only when youve been there..and then the hazy confusion and self doubt is clarified when a video such as this crosses..thanks a lot Dr.J
This is so true. I lived with this for so long ...until he tried to kill me..when failed he had me arrested. 10 yrs later...I am living free of this and him. I am now in a true loving relationship with someone who never does any of these things and with someone who truly values me. Of course I had to heal first.
💯% experienced ALL that & more. They don't change. They get worse.. more devious with age.
Spot on. Thank you Dr. Julie. Helps to hear this expressed so clearly.
Thank you. This is so accurate!! BTDT, you g on 34 yrs now!!! Adding lies & manipulation about their adultery literally steals your life!!! 💔
He had them all. I am so glad I got away from that toxic relationship.
That last one can go either way. Obviously when the others are present it is manipulation but a lot of times people leave relationships due to someone’s behavior and that person does actively try to change
I could not be more appreciative of you. Helpful more than I can express. I feel validated and not alone.
It took me a while to learn this.. I didn’t even know it was a ‘thing’ until I was introduced to the concept of narcissistic abuse by my therapist. In my culture, this pattern is normalised through a patriarchal structure, which leaves one feeling suffocated, isolated, and desperate to find a way out. Thankfully, I did. And I want to emphasise, there is always a way out, and you always have a choice. Be brave, and put yourself first. No one ever deserves to feel like this.
Loving yourself isn't selfish, it is selfless. The best thing I've done is stay single for the last couple of years, learn who I am independent of a relationship and relearning my self importance so now, I don't need anyone. I am full in myself. When I choose to see anyone, it will be a slow progression into a relationship. You are your greatest asset! Take care of yourself first. We teach people how they can treat us.
You ARE CORRECT...I WENT THRU ALL OF THESE THINGS.....I LEFT HIM AFTER 20 YEARS!!!!
Went through exactly same thing for almost 5 years.. It is traumatizing it takes a lot of strength to regain all the things lost
So true. Thank you for sharing this & for putting it in terms & illustrating it so clearly.❤❤❤
Honestly I have experienced all this , thank you for opening my eyes wider ❤
Hidden no more! It’s because people like you use your platform to shine that light. People need to let others know as well. We all have a responsibility to call-out or expose evil. I love your format. ❤
Thanks for this video.. I was blaming myself where I didn't make any mistake except loving him
Every word of this is what I went thru-please listen & you won’t have to 😢
I can imagine it feels super hidden when youre in it. But as a outsider I honestly dont find it so hidden, find it quite obvious... how sad it is that someone's in the middle of it they've got no idea its abusive. They tell everyone they're relationship is great and after a while they find out it wasn't like that....😢 Feeling sorry for you if you had to go through this ❤❤