And when you die, they’ll still try to look like the good guy and come to your funeral. I’ve told me family that in no circumstances is he allowed to attend.
My mom married a narc who tried to make her last days miserable. We had to get APS involved. The narc was warned not to attend the service, or he would be physically removed. We knew he would play the grieving widow at church, easy prey. My sister had a little talk with his priest to give the church a heads up 😄
The devil will always come back to try and destroy you, especially if there is unfinished business. Always anticipate a hoover, guard your heart. They opted out of reality long ago so all bets are off. Love from a fellow Irish woman xx Stay faithful to Jesus ❤️
I didnt get my full recovery until i forgave in the knowledge that narcissists are seriously mentally ill. Forgiveness is a gift of freedom you give yourself.
I got the Hoover after 4 years post separation. When the affair partner was painted black, I was suddenly painted white. I’m engaged and happy. He is in dreamland 😂
We are experiencing modern human trafficking on a mass scale. Human Trafficking definition: “ …coercing people, in order to benefit from their work or service”
Amazing you make this connection. I was human trafficked at 41 after being very sick. I made it out 8 months later, and he followed to the States. Im so glad there are people who are aware of what that is. People involved in actual trafficking are all this and worse.
You cannot unsee the demon. I had the worst nightmares of him where he was not masked. 4 in a row which I am sure came from God letting me see the truth. I don't think I am the only one who has had these warnings.
I had nightmares of my narc father when I was 8 yr old. Then as an adult, after a trauma caused by mom and brother, I had a nightmare where my mother was hovering in air over me like a banshee. Absolutely horrifying.
I had a dream not too long before the discard. In the dream, I was in bed and kept waking up to see my ex narc standing at the door to my bedroom just staring at me. The third time I woke up in the dream, he was at the end of my bed. It was not his face. This thing had red eyes. His true, demonic form and the spirit he carries was exposed, and I believe God was trying to warn me.
I had a dream the might before my narc was ro be served with divorce papers. I was surrounded by horrible looking demons, screeching and screaming at me in pure hatred, trying to get at me. But I knew they couldn't harm me! I called out to God, my guardian Angel, Our Lady and St. Charbel Makhlouf to pray for me. I felt no fear and knew that God was protecting me.
I had the same dreams off and on for a couple of decades. I am not a religious person so I attribute the dreams as being more in touch with the reality compared to my waking self. When dreaming the part of me that was in denial or justifying his behavior was not as active as in my waking state. The dreams showed him as he actually was. I thought at the time they were silly. After all, he was the nicest guy in the world (when he wore his public mask). I wish I would have explored those dreams with a therapist. But we know we can’t go back in time. Lesson learned. Dreams might be your best ally.
There is nothing that tortures a narcissist more than knowing that the person he or she once controlled is never coming back and that things will never be the same again. I noticed that the more you reject a narcissist the more they want you, it does not matter if you said horrible things to them or exposed them, they will still want you. The only problem is that since they are immature, many of the actions they will take to bring you back will in most cases be hostile and harmful. For instance, they will ensure that you are not able to see or talk to your kids since they believe that you will be left with no choice but to return to them yet this very action will create even more animosity and make it harder to even talk to them.
This is completely true. I had to break off the engagement because she treated me unspeakably badly. Unfortunately, we work in the same building. My ex acts like she hates me and I’m the devil. At the same time, she intentionally does things regularly to jab me. Little things…anything you can dream of. It all still bothers her immensely, and it’s obvious. Very hung up on me still but thinks being nasty is the way back. There is no way back into my life but this really is how they handle things.
As a matter of fact, they would often do things out of desperation to grab your attention and in many cases what they do only harm their chances of ever getting back into your life. For instance, it makes not sense for someone to engage in smear campaigns against you because you have refused their hoover . This is the very stuff that creates even more distance. It also does not help the situation when he or she triangulates by making it obvious he/she is in new relationship with someone he or she does not even love or value but only using to make you jealous or traumatize you even further. In short, a narc is like uninformed person trying to quench a fire by adding petrol to it instead of water and as a result they end up with serious injuries. You have to realise that the narc knows your value despite denying it and it hurts them so badly that you have refused to continue serving them after they caused you pain.. Even though they want you so badly, they have no idea how to get you back...This is even more difficult for them once they know you know or after they betrayed you despite the second or even third chance that you gave them.
@@cancerianzodiac5349 In many Jurisdictions that includes many in the West, Women are often favoured in the family court systems. That is why many fathers that have suffered parental alienation and abuse are often reluctant to seek legal help. In many cases women are seen as the real victims hence judgement is often made in their favour. It is also worth noting that being embroiled in never ending tussles with narcissitic partners will not only take its toll on your mental health but will derail you from achieving important goals in life.. You have to consider that narcs really love when your time and resources are wasted
Idk...wish that was the case for me. But tbh....lets state the less flattering possibility: maybe we are just not interesting / beautiful enough to even be hoovered (easily replacable). I appreciate your explanations but unfortunately i think theyre just a cope that we like to tell ourselves :(( Why do i think that? Im a complete people pleaser/pushover (so would be a very submissive and loyal "supply") and have terrible abilities to set boundries or bring up hard topics....so Im aware that im not "too good/strong". As for beauty...i was quite attractive when I met him...but unfortunately acne (due to stress) ended up scarring up my face and lowered my objective value/attractiveness. So in the end he lost nothing in that regard. Sounds harsh...it is. But i prefer being realistic than delusional :((
Older ones that know how hard diamond supply is are in for the long game. His birthday is this month, im planning to hear something that day. Just to be safe...i found i taken a loan to fix his car off my jewelry. I saw his bank statement from that day, someone sent him plenty. He just didn't want me to have jewelry someone else bought me. But HE can take other women's money.. .he puts his name on targets houses, and yells and screams he paid. He never paid once. But its fixing his poor credit, not mine. On top the fact the rent was never paid. It IS a thing about when the money drops...and the house sells. His "level" is grifting. 😂 and he knows i have sick periods. He was going to do the life.. insurance game though.....hence the hoovering. Theres no love there. He needs to go face his mommy, see the love really flow. Run, rabbit, run.
Ive had many discards but with the last one came ghosting. Before I wouldve been hurt and wanted to contact the narc but this time I feel nothing but relief. The new supply must be really good! Its so nice not to have the constant devaluing, disrespect, etc etc. For the first time in a very long time im starting to get some belief back in myself and my capabilities.
He knows I know who he is. Congratulations on over 50,000. So impressive. Not surprised. 18 months No Contact. You are the best Paula. I have been very disciplined like you tell us to be. Interesting you talked about feet on the table. I use to tell my Narcissist to stop putting his feet on my patio table as I sat in front of him. He didn’t like that comment. Such entitlement and grandiosity.
Shoes on the sofa. Wrappers under the bed. Its actually for you to have to tell them. They want to feel they are disrespecting you, and they are. This isnt a child this is 52 years old. Claims he is so classy and been so traveled. Smh😂
Mine was 59 when he left. I didn’t Discard him. I was out of state when my 17 year old daughter Discarded him. 10 years gone overnight( long legal story) . Other nasty devaluing habits include: lack of hygiene (devaluation stage), peeing in my backyard like an 5 year old, keeping his truck a disaster and piling up laundry. During the lovebomb stage he was completely different. He turned into a small child. Mind you he was a retired fireman of 27 years.
This so reminds me of my husband. Even with guests sitting around in the living area, his feet up on a stool in the center of everyone. I’d ask him not to, tell him it was rude, and he didn’t care.
This ex would allow her cat to walk all over the dining table, she knew it bothered me as cats track dirty kitty litter everywhere. she eventually gave him a mat on the table top to lay on… among the empty wrappers, pizza boxes, and just general messiness and chaos. I thought my cleanliness and orderly routine (I am not perfect but having some order in your life and living space is certainly good for the mind) would rub off LOL😂😂😂 so ‘theyre doing it so you can tell them not to’ makes a lot of sense. Thank god for this community helping me with their stories, the behaviors i am reading about here are so identical to what i was dealing with.
He won’t come back I kicked him out after he left for work changed the locks and put his stuff outside I even blocked him straight after I txt to say I was done . He would never of thought I would of done that . I’ve never had any contact from him
Im in a very similar situation right now. I'd be curious what the current status is for you. Did you cut off contact? Are you playing their game? Have they been hesitant to contact you?
It's so difficult when you have them coming over to visit the kids and when you are still financially dependent on them, I almost went back but he was taking a 20 something to a wedding he was officiating and doing the weekend after we had a great talk and plan about getting back together. He is 51 and so am I. He treated me with such disrespect like I was a little dog biting his ankle while I was only trying to understand the situation.
@@NarcConthats just awesome .. God your a good human being .. to think someone was once mean and cruel to you … well you got out and now you’re a blessing helping all of us… you’re a cross between HG Tudor and Narcology unscripted which in my opinion yours , tudors and narcology unscripted are the best .., Thanks for all you do paula you are helping all of us .. God Bless you
12:54 the reason why a narcissist would come back after such an exposure is to prove the exposure wrong. In other words, if we're getting along, then I cannot quite be as bad as this exposures showing me to be. That's what I think is what's going through their mind. It's got to be how other people perceive them. That is what is driving the behavior.
Yes my Narcissists ex sister in law, cosyed up to my step mother and got herself on our family Will. She took 25% Assets and the full content of my father's home.
They Team up with the other Supply to use and Abuse you, but I pull the Carpet from under him and them. She thought she hit the Jackpot but found out he was a Jackass
My ex of a 12yr relationship tried a hoover 18yrs after her discard. Her rapid pregnancy (3 months post discard) and fast marriage had failed....never underestimate their delusional thinking. Thank you Paula 🙏
I came to realise that an ex partner that rushed into a new relationship with another person that includes having kids so quickly is doing so because of the following 1) He or she is looking for a quick fix to numb the pain of an ended relationship 2) He or she is terrified about being abandoned again therefore he or she would want to solidify the relationship as quickly as possible to reduce the chances of being dropped What may appear to be a happy new relaationship is nothing more than means to conceal the pain of losing someone that really mattered to them,, The one they will never get back....In reality narcs never discard, what appear as discard can be compared to someone jumping off a cliff because they already think you want to push them off the cliff anyway. They know they devalued you and traumatized you and they know that you are thinking of leaving...In that case they have no choice but to do it first for the sake of their fragile ego
They come back to destroy you. And that’s literally the reason. People dont believe that reason. Even I didn’t believe that reason until I let them back in. Nothing good comes from them hoovering u
My husband's next supply must be great because he's ghosted me after 12 years. He's apparently happy for the first time in his life and flaunting it. Just more arrows flung towards me, it helps his story of the smear campaign he ran on me. Divorce court isn't gonna be pleasant, hes been living with her for 5 months. His family is just so happy for him. Im the one hurting after being ditched like trash along with my adult daughter 💔
If he really is a narcissist I can assure you there is nothing like happiness going on there. They are all about how they look, don't be fooled by the appearances.
Thank you Paula! My 65 year old narc ex hubby has run off into the sunset with a 35 year old maiden and had a child.... sad as it makes me feel but true...working on letting go as much as I can... thanks again for your hard work and the support!
I had an ex fiancee who was one of the only wonderful men i was with. He had been through major abuse from day one, at home. Father was a surgeon, the abuser. Mother enabled it....and eventually, after many affairs he ran off with a stripper that was about the age difference you speak of. They had child together, best of everything....shes an accomplished violin player. As Karma would have it, he was beaten up at a Dolphins game. Ironically his son saved his life. But he ended up having a severe arm injury and had to quit practicing. Hes an angry old drunk, with his washed up ex stripper. Im sorry to hear, but the pendulum will swing back. I promise you. 💜 looking ahead for your better days.
Nah... once you get to this point of being able to look them in the eye with 'knowing,' you are already at the point where they have no power to affect you. You stare into their black, soulless eyes and feel perfect peace knowing you are blinding them with your light. 🌞
Once the female covert that i was with her eyes flipped back in her head and scared the F_ck out of me .. i experienced her eyes going black a dozen times over our almost 3 year relationship … it was sooo freaking freaky .. i get chills thinking about it now..
@@kidrosskidrossproductions2906 did you at the time think she was possessed ?.. before I knew about narcissism , I had thoughts about my ex being possessed her behaviour was so extreme
I think number 10 is a really important one. If they know you know, that can keep them away forever, or so we can hope! 🙏 From my experience the Narcissist became ridiculously fearful once the mask came off. I never spoke to him again. I'm a gentle person and not scary by any means but he literally hid from me in the weeks following his cowardly discard of me by text. I got stalked from a distance by him at a later date, this happened to coincide with me contacting a very bitter ex who was able to fill me in on his long history of treating women like crap and his greed for her money and status. Perhaps word got back to him and it rattled him enough to do a little check on me. They are very paranoid and mentally ill. I think they're terrified of exposure, or possibly get discombobulated with pent up shame. It's a miserable existence they lead, despite their efforts to appear cock-a-hoop. Anyway, blocking if you can is the best way to go to seal the deal and give you more peace of mind. 🛑
I exposed my narcissist. He is so angry and ashamed and is running away from the state completely. He will react badly but I’m going to get thru this. This channel has been my sanity at times so thank you for doing what you do.
Been a year since I exposed her for what she did and who she is. Unfortunately I fell for the lies and ended up being a donor for a child. When I tried to be involved with the child, she called the cops. Oh well, nice year without the drama
Recently, was wondering about all the items ex took on his kick out to the curb. Weird items from my side of the family at first was hurt. Realized do not need the items, settled it out. Had a aha moment that he took supposed sentimental items in order to hoover in the future just last week! Spot on! That ship has sailed out 4yrs ago! Learned to not live (too much) in the past or the future. Live for now, good things happen if you do it, and that is the great future. People will see you for YOU!
Mine won’t Hoover which I’m glad, because he has a grade A supply again … beautiful woman very successful submissive offered him up her beautiful huge home within the first month of dating she’s clueless and apparently dealing with someone who hurt her in the past in order to put up with him but right now, I’m sure he’s in the love bomb stage that he did me, She can keep him and his toxic vapors
Grade A supply. His former divorce client, rich on the huge alimony he got her. Her ex was cheating on her and now she's in bed with a compulsive liar, cheat and manipulator !
Thank you for doing this Paula! The distance one is definately my saving grace, She lives 212 miles away in the North of england and is far too lazy too hoover me ,when we was together I did all the travelling ,by train or driving, we was going on a holiday to new york and she didn't want to travel down to Heathrow,I even picked her up, when she stayed at my place,from the north to the south. she didn't like spending money 🤣 either,I did it all. I also told her that I knew she was a narcassist and that the apples don't fall far from the tree , in her case , how her grown up daughters behaved with their boyfriends,very narcassitic, spoilt etc, I did tell the flying monkeys what I'd found out, and even sent them some std tests I had done. This has helped me so much, as I have always wondered why I hadn't Been hoovered ,and I did doubt myself that I had made a mistake with her and she wasn't a narcassist, I have always been right... Once again thank you Paula for doing this podcast I'm not ruminating much at all nw,over a year no contact, Thanks Paula the last question has been answered!
Ohhhhhh damn 😂 its such a burn. That statement is 💥💥💥 Mommy will always sing their praises. "He didnt mean to stick a knife to your stomach. He just needs some time." 😂
His sister said that maybe the new supply will keep him happy, alleging that he wasn't happy with me for 25 yrs after his first wife divorced him within 10 yrs.
I once saw a vision that I believe was given by God. It represented the narcissist girlfriend I was seeing at the time, it was her presence in my small hallway, and what was literally behind her was a tall black silhouette of a dark figure with a hideous evil smile saying in a very young girlish voice: "Hiiiiiiii!"..... Then proceeded with a deep sinister voice saying: "I have you now".....At the time it didn't register or faze me much until about one or two years later. And I can definitely tell you this WAS a vision or a sign from God to run from this Demon as fast as I could!
Dear Paula, every day you save my life. Thank you so much ❤❤❤ They always have already the next, when they discard you. There is therefore very often no hoover for a long time.
Paula, this is an excellent video as always. It's been almost 2 years for me, no hoover, nor do I expect one for various reasons, some of which you stated in this video. I think you are spot on when you said that the narcissist comes back for reasons of his/her own. It's always about them and their needs, although of course they will say otherwise in their attempt to re-enter your life. Keep making great videos 🙂.
There's an old saying that says. You fool me once shame on you! You fool me twice shame on me! It never says anything about a 3rd time. She got me twice. Game over!
Lol Same here. And its sad because I knew better. I paid her $350 phone bill because she was pulling away & devaluing. I was just getting onto her game & wasnt quite ready for the discard. Well I think she sensed that because she treated me just as bad after til I eventually stopped responding. Lol it pains me she got the last laugh. Guilted me into paying her bill so she can continue on with whatever new supply she has. This was a week ago & I find myself having to continue watching narc vids because of how crazy she made me.
I'm having difficulty with the things I've found in the house. Writings of his "artwork" of demons, etc. He left these hidden so i would find them, and be bothered. So....i have some art supplies and decided i can make that into whatever i want... One thing a HUMAN can always offer is an apology. Even if they owe you money. Thats one way you know, how they aren't even on your level..Its unspoken. The truth is too great. Im also doing very well mentally. ...and really, its a turning point. Things were revealed to me, in a way i never ever have to deal with this again. Only things he really seems to have taken, was 2 watches. One was even broken, but that's fine. Hes so delusinal i believe he thinks he can time travel with those. 😂thank you Paula, for the video..i so enjoy them. 💜
The ex i was seeing had some demonic looking ‘artwork’ she had scribbled as well. Not all of it, but there were like shadow people sketches and some weirdness there. Would draw on page 1, leave blank papers in between and suddenly another sketch, sketched on the cardboard backing material, etc, very disordered. Could never ever finish any project she started, whether it be a small bookshelf purchased on amazon, or an art project. Had the capability of a young child when it came to drawing, art projects, making pottery i my shop. Basically would mess with something (while making a total chaotic mess) for hours, until it was unrecognizable. She also had experiences ‘aliens taking skin from her back’, could this be demonic possession?
18:33 After throwing the mother of all rage fits, she had the audacity to ask me for money. Without saying a word, I looked into her eyes and thought for a moment. I reached into my wallet and gave her just enough money for a ride share to get home from the train station she would soon be arriving at. She must have known that I knew, even though I didn't know what a narcissist was at that time. She did try to hoover (because she blocked me first, she had the ability to unblock for the hoover.) I shut her down and "discarded" (her perspective) her again. I don't think she'll try again, but she'll get the same non-response if she does.
@@Lena-so2lq mine loves to show up to court she feels special like she has a audience, but yea of course she can’t face the truth, but Ms Narc Con said to me once to fight and not give up, so I’m am I’m going to give her hell and expose her!
They always come back, it’s just a matter of time. I thought mine was never gonna return but he finally did after a whole year by that time I had already healed and forgotten about him and was no longer weak to his bs.
I have experienced a narcississt that I have called out on every behaviour. However they have denied accountability in every manipulative way they can and twisted their compulsive lies, blame shifted and weaponised every thing even her kids to lie and God im sad to say. All to protect her relationship/ actions with and for a supply SHE pursued that was a cocaine addict, drunkard and a player that sleeps with multiple women and within just 5 days allowed the supply to do the most disgusting things as well as do the most disgusting things to him in her neighbours house while her own daughter slept below. I have had 12 months of the most incredible lies which have all been 180'd...I realise now through what she has been saying she wants what her supply needs are from me and I have told her No and to find another supply. Although I have made it clear to her she is still trying to engage with communications mostly texts of random topics she knows might interest me to get me to respond but I wont respond because like you said Paula I am at that point where I know nothing this person does is for any benefit in my life. Also the hoover attempts are seeming to be randomised at the moment. I have some benefits you talked of...I am not near to the narc and i have gone no contact so pray for me to be strong in that. Thank you for all your great advice. If there is anything more you think I could do I open to anything to help me in this nightmare situation.
Depends on what the narcissist wants that they are lacking. After the break up, I was stalked and hoovered going on 5 years now. Last one was a few months ago. The break up was 2018.
Its true, I jailed both narcissist. One recently came calling the other day after 10 years, calling here & there on holidays in between. Current narc , soon to be ex-husband, tried to use his lil 9 year old nephew to hoover. Dropped his nephew off at my house to play with our son. He was mad I wouldnt be controlled, so he decided to ignore me & NOT receive his nephew back. I called my sister in law & exposed him. He ignored her , as getting back at her was a two for one. I believe shes a not quite right. Y she would send her son now in the midst of our divorce when she had known what we were going through. They had basically been estranged, then all of a sudden she sees him at a family event, he convinces her to let him get the kid . Little did she know the kid was bait. I let her know if she didnt get him, I was calling the authorities. This was after 4 days of time, of a kid being dumped on me. She had to get last minute tickets in town & back out for her kid & herself. Oh well. My thought was what kind of parent would do such a thing. She knew over the years he had NEVER received her son, I did. Thats ALL over now. A couple weeks later their mother died & hes still cold shouldering his own sister. Im healing, a bit still bitter but its freeing knowing I can reject him, expose them & not care. I pray 🙏 for the day , the narc will be a small lil spec in my past.
10-10-10 we got married in a bar , he is gone Thank goodness and I hope I get a divorce for my anniversary 😅😅😅 thank you Paula 💓 love from Socorro NM 💝.
I got hoovered once but in that time i went on to do research as id came across something about narcasists we played the dance for a year i was weaning myself away but in that time i told him i knew he was a narcasist of course that range came but i didn't back down i then rang up the gas board and told them he'd robbed his meter they came out and i was there i said how strange. Before i walked away i told him hey remember that gas situation well it was me i knew then he'd lost control as he never belived id do that to him plus i tokd him i know who he was and the games over that was 5 years ago i changed my number email never mentioned him again i went onto to open 2 businesses and gain 4 diplomas 😂😂😊❤ x
I went no contact, installed cameras facing the street, driveway and doors after he left, blocked all his family/friends including my new grandson. I no longer will permit him to manipulate me. I'm not the same person anymore.
If you take back your ex narc their not going to upgrade you their just going to tare back down what you built up. In my case now I'm not rich far from it! But I'm doing a whole lot better with out my ex in my life. When I was with her for over a decade my life just went slowly down hill now that she's not in my life anymore I got a rise at my job making more money doing pretty well with no more unnecessary drama.
Paula spoke of the narcissist’s eyes and it’s there that the proof is writ large - I’ve being trying to define exactly what it is that’s different about their eyes but, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. There’s something about the lack of connection in their eyes that’s a dead giveaway. Now that I know it for what it is, I know when to turn around and walk away…not a word said. I SEE you.
Thank you, Paula! You covered everything I did and did not. I talked to my late S.O. all day today and into the night. The conversation was fair to middlin', which means to me that it's made it to the work in progress level. I'm happy to leave it on neutral terms and welcome the next era of my life with open arms . xx
I wonder have you ever discussed the difficulties of dealing with an ageing narc .i have children and now grandchildren with my narc ex ,i have managed dealing with him pretty well over last number of years obviously i would rather not have to see him ever again but its just not possible for me ,he is alot older than me and has aged rapidly recently but along with that its as if he cant hide his distain for many and makes cruel comments about everyone its like his ageing has made him too tired to put up an act at all ,i fear he is gone like his late mother who fell out with everyone caused so much harm the older she got .i fear for my children and grandkids ie he makes loud questions about "is such and such still obese" etc and i feel im sheilding everyone from his vicious tongue .which has retraumatised me and brought back bad memories .thank you
Mine (ex narc A) came back when I was really really sick and needed surgery abroad where he looked after my 10 year old as I got the cold shoulder from my other ex Narc b who I was with after I broke up with ex narc A 😅 then ex narc a proceeded to say: “ see narc b couldn’t take care of you! I did!!! I am come back” my god what I got myself into when I look back it is mental 😂😂
It's yust how it go's and went in my relationships with narcs. Thank you, so Much for your Support and Realy Good explanations and Encouraging Words. ❤️🙏🌈
Thank you so much for your knowledge on this. I thought I was the crazy one but everything you said is (mother). Unfortunately I’m stuck for the moment living with her because of my 2 kids and my dog. I don’t want them to become her next supply, so I have to wait for now. Until then I’ll be doing limited contact, saying no, and accepting that the loving mother/daughter relationship I have with my daughter, will never be. Peace and love. Much thanks ❤❤❤
My last ever message to my ex I outed her and let her know that I knew she was cheating and manipulating me. Your videos are really helping with moving forward at this hard time. Thank you
Thank you Megan for your videos! I'm watching so many and learning. I'm 6 months no contact, have EVERYTHING blocked, I discarded him as as he was discarding me. I resisted two flying monkeys and haven't heard from him since. I believe I'm an empath and that's why I was able to get out on 'mini' discard. He thought I was pathetic cuz I was crying when he was dumping me. I even said I couldn't live without him. He chuckled!! 😢 Well, I snapped out of his evil spell and saw The Truth. Broke up w/him right there on the phone and immediately BLOCKED EVERYTHING!! Everything!!! And haven't seen him, spoken to him, NOTHING!! Brutal!! I will continue to follow you and tell others I know who are suffering. God bless you 🙏 ❤️
Paula this is just magnificent a lesson that really need to be taught, that eradicates all unnecessary wonder, as to what the awful Nac is up too, in those silent periods of time. ❤
My problem exists in a volunteer peace organisation. The person in question caused so much disruption the creator of the organisation closed it down. I'm working on getting the organisation back on it's feet. The irritant person was a person I thought I could trust, so that was the first place I went for help, but only got excuses. Repeated requests and repeated refusals. Once the first buds of a revived organisation began to show the irritant turned up and quickly got to their work. I confronted the person on the organisation network, got loads of flak because I was far from peaceful in my tactics, but the irritant left, along with a couple of people I'd like to have kept. A member in a position of (a bit of) influence brought the irritant back in and very quickly the disruption began again. At this stage I'm trying to stand back in the hope that other members will recognise the disruptive behaviour and uphold a final and total expulsion. (Wishful thinking?). Because you were talking in the context of a relationship of 2 people I found it more tricky to figure out how this applied to my situation, but still a big thank you, just provoking thought is useful to me👍
My Ex Narc Girlfriend herself gone to the Police complaining about me, Still hovered me after One Month 😂 These Demons can do anything. I don't think they've any Self Esteem 😅
Nice site! I did number 7 and number 10. Number 7 worked mostly to cut them off. But still some hoovered me (years) later. Just calling/mailing me or show up on my door asif nothing had ever happened. The severe devaluations and emotional abuse were just 'forgotten' on their part. They came in smiling and buttering all the way but within minutes where only talking about themselves again. I finally got really mad/angry and pushed them away in no uncertain terms... Since years it's quite and more peacefull now. And I'll never let anyone of them in anymore no-way.
The narc that is trying to destroy me is a addiction therapist ,counselor who has a never ending supply feeding on the pain and suffering of her clients,but still has enough energy and evil to try and do me in😂Your knowledge and experience has been very helpful to me Thank you.
He knows I know because I told him I knew who he was during my “home truths” rant!! Now it’s up to him if he believes me or not …. He can rot as far as I’m concerned 😊
Thank you Paula, long time watcher, first time posting. I exposed him & walked away. A little too cocky in my new found freedom, shedding 20 kilos & newly aquired knowledge of Narcdom I went back within mths only to discover he was latching on to a billionaire (I kid you not). Money & prestigious are his driving force so he was in his element, well kind of ... she had the money & lifestyle he craved but she was also a narc (he had flipped) & he desperately missed my supply. I laughed in his face, saw right through him & left. I severed ties with all associations with him, changed my job & moved. I have no footprint & i know 6yrs later he will still be trying to find me. I once bumped into the both of them by chance (amazing as we live in a big city) they were about to embark on some type of dishonesty both scurried off but not before I laughed in their faces as i was able to loudly declare to all around that they were evil looking to do evil. Paula, i love your channel ... you speak my language, everything you say resonates & i applaude you for what you are doing. I have become a big advocate to anyone that will listen about NPD & the danger associated with enmeshment in their web. All the power to you & your savvy supporters here in this channel. ❤
Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on coming to visit you. Lol. You have explained SO MUCH to me and I realized that for 17 years, I have been married to a narcissist. He left only when Obama came up with a plan to expunge $90,000 in school loan debt that his daughter stuck him with. I really thought it was a scam, but we couldn’t believe it. That after three months they took that entire debt off his FICA score and he was able to get a mortgage and buy his own house. He always lived in My beautiful houses. Yes. He lived like a king with me. And guess what? he was up and gone. Right now, I realized from knowing his past that he always had debt and never had any credit. As soon as he got credit back, he bought a house with a mortgage, and I found out just recently that within less than a year and a half he was already in default on that. and he quickly got married to a woman, his new supplier, who paid off his mortgage, and got him out of the default. he really never liked anybody more than six months, so I’m laughing myself thinking what happens when he can’t stand the new supplier and now she owns His house. He’s back to square one! and reading the many characteristics of a narcissist, he is absolutely every single one of them. I used to laugh at his little lies, because they didn’t affect me but now I realize that he fit the perfect identity for this personality disorder. I helped him get his doctorate, and can you believe it is in biblical counseling? There’s so much more to this, but I won’t bore you with the details, but finding your channel was so enlightening. It’s still a long road to get over it and actually this is the first time I’ve been on a cruise without him, and it set me back a little bit emotionally but I’m getting through it. Thanks to you. Forgive me for the grammatical errors here I’m writing this on my cell phone out sailing on a ship. L O L.
النرجسية أصبحت مرض العصر كالاكتئاب و القلق ، و أظن أنه بسبب تضخم الإيجو كرد فعل على إساءات قديمة ، سقوط الأخلاق و الدين من الحياة العصرية رفع القيود على الإيجو بشكل كبير ، شكراً لك مرتين بسبب وضوح العرض و وضوح اللغة الإنجليزية
Paula, great insight. Just wondering to what extent are we, the now malfunctioning supply left in a heap, demonically thwarted ourselves in our healing process? It would stand to reason. Still grieving after two years! And this is despite praying/ connecting with God, counselling and working on understanding how I accommodated this unhealthy relationship. Feeling like I'm stuck in a vortex of grief one minute, anger the next. Maybe taking Remy on a virtual walk would help!
I exsposed him Paula and got rid of him before he could disguard me.He hasn't hovered me in awhile now,months and I haven't been in contact with him in a year and 2 months,I've been so happy and at peace,every now and then I wonder if it's permanent he has moved on finally,but I'm never letting my guards down,because those evil entities are so unpredictable predictable lol Hi Remi love u and Paula with all my heart.Oh I got me a Cavapoo ,her name is Nevaeh .my best friend next to God
What i find difficult is that, according to all the videos etc, even the good they show is false and with an ulterior motive. Its hard to believe that the goodness someone shows is not real.
Hi. Loving your videos. I’m very confused at the moment, I recently met someone who is saying things like .. “I’m wanted by many” .. “I’m beautiful inside and out” .. “I’ know I’m special”.. “having sexual and psychological dominance feels delicious” the list goes on. I said “you are Sound so egotistical, and narcissistic” and laughed, I have instantly been ghosted. Do these type of things sound like a possibility narcissist? What’s confused me is they seemed really sweet, charming, and compassionate.
They are doing u a favor by not coming back!
And when you die, they’ll still try to look like the good guy and come to your funeral. I’ve told me family that in no circumstances is he allowed to attend.
Put it in writing. I swear no one in my family will come near me when i die. "Friends" dont have much in way of that either.
My mom married a narc who tried to make her last days miserable. We had to get APS involved. The narc was warned not to attend the service, or he would be physically removed. We knew he would play the grieving widow at church, easy prey. My sister had a little talk with his priest to give the church a heads up 😄
Me too🙏🏾
The devil will always come back to try and destroy you, especially if there is unfinished business. Always anticipate a hoover, guard your heart. They opted out of reality long ago so all bets are off.
Love from a fellow Irish woman xx
Stay faithful to Jesus ❤️
🙋♀️☘️
@@NarcCon ☘️❤️
Biggest facts
Amen
A man made narcisstic religion won't save you..
I didnt get my full recovery until i forgave in the knowledge that narcissists are seriously mentally ill. Forgiveness is a gift of freedom you give yourself.
I had a narcissist come back after 26 years. So, be alert! I didn't realize he was a narc. But I found out!
27 years here,she is a covert narcissist
I got the Hoover after 4 years post separation. When the affair partner was painted black, I was suddenly painted white. I’m engaged and happy. He is in dreamland 😂
Best revenge is move on from those demons even if a victim is alone with no partner. Let them deal with their bad decisions and the smearing campaign
We are experiencing modern human trafficking on a mass scale.
Human Trafficking definition:
“ …coercing people, in order to benefit from their work or service”
Amazing you make this connection. I was human trafficked at 41 after being very sick. I made it out 8 months later, and he followed to the States.
Im so glad there are people who are aware of what that is. People involved in actual trafficking are all this and worse.
Stay away Mr Narc, I don't want you
You cannot unsee the demon. I had the worst nightmares of him where he was not masked. 4 in a row which I am sure came from God letting me see the truth. I don't think I am the only one who has had these warnings.
I had nightmare 2 months after NC.. that this demon was running like bullet from bottom of bed to me. God awoke me.. RIGHT AWAY!
I had nightmares of my narc father when I was 8 yr old. Then as an adult, after a trauma caused by mom and brother, I had a nightmare where my mother was hovering in air over me like a banshee. Absolutely horrifying.
I had a dream not too long before the discard. In the dream, I was in bed and kept waking up to see my ex narc standing at the door to my bedroom just staring at me. The third time I woke up in the dream, he was at the end of my bed. It was not his face. This thing had red eyes. His true, demonic form and the spirit he carries was exposed, and I believe God was trying to warn me.
I had a dream the might before my narc was ro be served with divorce papers. I was surrounded by horrible looking demons, screeching and screaming at me in pure hatred, trying to get at me. But I knew they couldn't harm me! I called out to God, my guardian Angel, Our Lady and St. Charbel Makhlouf to pray for me. I felt no fear and knew that God was protecting me.
I had the same dreams off and on for a couple of decades. I am not a religious person so I attribute the dreams as being more in touch with the reality compared to my waking self. When dreaming the part of me that was in denial or justifying his behavior was not as active as in my waking state. The dreams showed him as he actually was. I thought at the time they were silly. After all, he was the nicest guy in the world (when he wore his public mask). I wish I would have explored those dreams with a therapist. But we know we can’t go back in time. Lesson learned. Dreams might be your best ally.
I have worked hard to block the narcissist in every which way.
There is nothing that tortures a narcissist more than knowing that the person he or she once controlled is never coming back and that things will never be the same again. I noticed that the more you reject a narcissist the more they want you, it does not matter if you said horrible things to them or exposed them, they will still want you. The only problem is that since they are immature, many of the actions they will take to bring you back will in most cases be hostile and harmful. For instance, they will ensure that you are not able to see or talk to your kids since they believe that you will be left with no choice but to return to them yet this very action will create even more animosity and make it harder to even talk to them.
This is completely true. I had to break off the engagement because she treated me unspeakably badly. Unfortunately, we work in the same building. My ex acts like she hates me and I’m the devil. At the same time, she intentionally does things regularly to jab me. Little things…anything you can dream of. It all still bothers her immensely, and it’s obvious. Very hung up on me still but thinks being nasty is the way back. There is no way back into my life but this really is how they handle things.
As a matter of fact, they would often do things out of desperation to grab your attention and in many cases what they do only harm their chances of ever getting back into your life. For instance, it makes not sense for someone to engage in smear campaigns against you because you have refused their hoover . This is the very stuff that creates even more distance. It also does not help the situation when he or she triangulates by making it obvious he/she is in new relationship with someone he or she does not even love or value but only using to make you jealous or traumatize you even further. In short, a narc is like uninformed person trying to quench a fire by adding petrol to it instead of water and as a result they end up with serious injuries. You have to realise that the narc knows your value despite denying it and it hurts them so badly that you have refused to continue serving them after they caused you pain.. Even though they want you so badly, they have no idea how to get you back...This is even more difficult for them once they know you know or after they betrayed you despite the second or even third chance that you gave them.
"Ensuring that you're not able to see or talk to your kids" TOO TRUE! And legally it is called Parental Alienation. Sue the Narcs for it!
@@cancerianzodiac5349 In many Jurisdictions that includes many in the West, Women are often favoured in the family court systems. That is why many fathers that have suffered parental alienation and abuse are often reluctant to seek legal help. In many cases women are seen as the real victims hence judgement is often made in their favour. It is also worth noting that being embroiled in never ending tussles with narcissitic partners will not only take its toll on your mental health but will derail you from achieving important goals in life.. You have to consider that narcs really love when your time and resources are wasted
Idk...wish that was the case for me. But tbh....lets state the less flattering possibility: maybe we are just not interesting / beautiful enough to even be hoovered (easily replacable). I appreciate your explanations but unfortunately i think theyre just a cope that we like to tell ourselves :((
Why do i think that?
Im a complete people pleaser/pushover (so would be a very submissive and loyal "supply") and have terrible abilities to set boundries or bring up hard topics....so Im aware that im not "too good/strong". As for beauty...i was quite attractive when I met him...but unfortunately acne (due to stress) ended up scarring up my face and lowered my objective value/attractiveness. So in the end he lost nothing in that regard. Sounds harsh...it is. But i prefer being realistic than delusional :((
If you expose them it will scare them..but they will wait and still try to co.e back..sometimes years later
Exactly 🎯
Especially if you had children with them.
Yeah exactly what happened! She tried and I wasn’t going for it after that she ignores me doesn’t want nothing to do with me lol
Older ones that know how hard diamond supply is are in for the long game. His birthday is this month, im planning to hear something that day. Just to be safe...i found i taken a loan to fix his car off my jewelry. I saw his bank statement from that day, someone sent him plenty. He just didn't want me to have jewelry someone else bought me.
But HE can take other women's money.. .he puts his name on targets houses, and yells and screams he paid. He never paid once. But its fixing his poor credit, not mine. On top the fact the rent was never paid. It IS a thing about when the money drops...and the house sells.
His "level" is grifting. 😂 and he knows i have sick periods.
He was going to do the life.. insurance game though.....hence the hoovering. Theres no love there. He needs to go face his mommy, see the love really flow.
Run, rabbit, run.
I exposed my ex’s thieving. She went berserk at first. I feel now she is waiting to cause harm. Thanks Paula for all you do
Ive had many discards but with the last one came ghosting. Before I wouldve been hurt and wanted to contact the narc but this time I feel nothing but relief. The new supply must be really good!
Its so nice not to have the constant devaluing, disrespect, etc etc.
For the first time in a very long time im starting to get some belief back in myself and my capabilities.
Doesn't matter if he Hoovers, don't want him back ever!
He knows I know who he is. Congratulations on over 50,000. So impressive. Not surprised. 18 months No Contact. You are the best Paula. I have been very disciplined like you tell us to be. Interesting you talked about feet on the table. I use to tell my Narcissist to stop putting his feet on my patio table as I sat in front of him. He didn’t like that comment. Such entitlement and grandiosity.
Shoes on the sofa. Wrappers under the bed. Its actually for you to have to tell them. They want to feel they are disrespecting you, and they are. This isnt a child this is 52 years old. Claims he is so classy and been so traveled. Smh😂
Mine was 59 when he left. I didn’t Discard him. I was out of state when my 17 year old daughter Discarded him. 10 years gone overnight( long legal story) . Other nasty devaluing habits include: lack of hygiene (devaluation stage), peeing in my backyard like an 5 year old, keeping his truck a disaster and piling up laundry. During the lovebomb stage he was completely different. He turned into a small child. Mind you he was a retired fireman of 27 years.
Thank you so much!
This so reminds me of my husband.
Even with guests sitting around in the living area, his feet up on a stool in the center of everyone. I’d ask him not to, tell him it was rude, and he didn’t care.
This ex would allow her cat to walk all over the dining table, she knew it bothered me as cats track dirty kitty litter everywhere. she eventually gave him a mat on the table top to lay on… among the empty wrappers, pizza boxes, and just general messiness and chaos. I thought my cleanliness and orderly routine (I am not perfect but having some order in your life and living space is certainly good for the mind) would rub off LOL😂😂😂 so ‘theyre doing it so you can tell them not to’ makes a lot of sense. Thank god for this community helping me with their stories, the behaviors i am reading about here are so identical to what i was dealing with.
He won’t come back I kicked him out after he left for work changed the locks and put his stuff outside I even blocked him straight after I txt to say I was done . He would never of thought I would of done that . I’ve never had any contact from him
Beautifully executed. I did similar! 1 year no contact, removed all of his things and clearly emphasized no contact or authorities will be noticed.
I do believe she knows I'm on to her games. I know what she is. She knows this.
Im in a very similar situation right now. I'd be curious what the current status is for you. Did you cut off contact? Are you playing their game? Have they been hesitant to contact you?
One of my narc exes tries to hoover me a decade later. It’s hilarious, the second I see the message, he’s blocked. 😂
Never again never again! God save me 😢
It's so difficult when you have them coming over to visit the kids and when you are still financially dependent on them, I almost went back but he was taking a 20 something to a wedding he was officiating and doing the weekend after we had a great talk and plan about getting back together. He is 51 and so am I. He treated me with such disrespect like I was a little dog biting his ankle while I was only trying to understand the situation.
I love seeing Remi patiently listening and hinting for his walk. Reminding us of the lovely beings in life
Yes he’s a patient boy..he knows when I start talking once I finish there’s good walkies ahead 🐕
Yes, he puts a smile on my face!❤❤
@@NarcConthats just awesome .. God your a good human being .. to think someone was once mean and cruel to you … well you got out and now you’re a blessing helping all of us… you’re a cross between HG Tudor and Narcology unscripted which in my opinion yours , tudors and narcology unscripted are the best .., Thanks for all you do paula you are helping all of us .. God Bless you
I am willing to leave everything to build myself and not fall again the trap. Love to everyone.
12:54 the reason why a narcissist would come back after such an exposure is to prove the exposure wrong. In other words, if we're getting along, then I cannot quite be as bad as this exposures showing me to be. That's what I think is what's going through their mind. It's got to be how other people perceive them. That is what is driving the behavior.
Yes my Narcissists ex sister in law, cosyed up to my step mother and got herself on our family Will. She took 25% Assets and the full content of my father's home.
You r so right!
"Toddle on!" 😂 I needed that chuckle. ❤
🤓🙋♀️
They Team up with the other Supply to use and Abuse you, but I pull the Carpet from under him and them. She thought she hit the Jackpot but found out he was a Jackass
My ex of a 12yr relationship tried a hoover 18yrs after her discard. Her rapid pregnancy (3 months post discard) and fast marriage had failed....never underestimate their delusional thinking. Thank you Paula 🙏
Well said - "never underestimate their delusional thinking".
I came to realise that an ex partner that rushed into a new relationship with another person that includes having kids so quickly is doing so because of the following
1) He or she is looking for a quick fix to numb the pain of an ended relationship
2) He or she is terrified about being abandoned again therefore he or she would want to solidify the relationship as quickly as possible to reduce the chances of being dropped
What may appear to be a happy new relaationship is nothing more than means to conceal the pain of losing someone that really mattered to them,, The one they will never get back....In reality narcs never discard, what appear as discard can be compared to someone jumping off a cliff because they already think you want to push them off the cliff anyway. They know they devalued you and traumatized you and they know that you are thinking of leaving...In that case they have no choice but to do it first for the sake of their fragile ego
18 years after discard. Ive experienced it. Nothingness in the flesh
@@Lena-so2lq Were you surprised? Did you respond? Hope that you are doing well.
Wow!
The reasons you have given should be enough to break the trauma bond. Why would we want someone like this in our life?
I agree 💯 this is my sentiment exactly, it was so hard, why invite it back.
They come back to destroy you. And that’s literally the reason. People dont believe that reason. Even I didn’t believe that reason until I let them back in. Nothing good comes from them hoovering u
50K. You've earned it. Here's to 100K!
🙏🌹
My husband's next supply must be great because he's ghosted me after 12 years. He's apparently happy for the first time in his life and flaunting it. Just more arrows flung towards me, it helps his story of the smear campaign he ran on me. Divorce court isn't gonna be pleasant, hes been living with her for 5 months.
His family is just so happy for him.
Im the one hurting after being ditched like trash along with my adult daughter 💔
@@user-el8nz4yu4t I hear you
If he really is a narcissist I can assure you there is nothing like happiness going on there. They are all about how they look, don't be fooled by the appearances.
@@SenSakura-dj6bq true that, but they suggested that maybe I couldn't keep him happy! I'm his 2nd wife of 25 yrs !!
@@ArchAngel435 nobody can
Thank you Paula! My 65 year old narc ex hubby has run off into the sunset with a 35 year old maiden and had a child.... sad as it makes me feel but true...working on letting go as much as I can... thanks again for your hard work and the support!
Wow
💚💌
I had an ex fiancee who was one of the only wonderful men i was with. He had been through major abuse from day one, at home. Father was a surgeon, the abuser. Mother enabled it....and eventually, after many affairs he ran off with a stripper that was about the age difference you speak of. They had child together, best of everything....shes an accomplished violin player.
As Karma would have it, he was beaten up at a Dolphins game. Ironically his son saved his life. But he ended up having a severe arm injury and had to quit practicing. Hes an angry old drunk, with his washed up ex stripper.
Im sorry to hear, but the pendulum will swing back. I promise you. 💜 looking ahead for your better days.
How does a washed up narcissistic pensioner of 65 manage to get a 35 year old woman to run off with him? Genuinely mystified by this.
wow!!@@Lena-so2lq
but when you remember the black, hollow eyes of the narcissist, you'll do everything to avoid meeting him/her again, won't you?
I seen those dark eyes, so eerie
Yes I think that’s the biggest issue .. people think narcs are human .. they aren’t .. they have been taken over by demons
Nah... once you get to this point of being able to look them in the eye with 'knowing,' you are already at the point where they have no power to affect you. You stare into their black, soulless eyes and feel perfect peace knowing you are blinding them with your light. 🌞
Once the female covert that i was with her eyes flipped back in her head and scared the F_ck out of me .. i experienced her eyes going black a dozen times over our almost 3 year relationship … it was sooo freaking freaky .. i get chills thinking about it now..
@@kidrosskidrossproductions2906 did you at the time think she was possessed ?.. before I knew about narcissism , I had thoughts about my ex being possessed her behaviour was so extreme
Need a golden narcspotter, too 😊
Remy can sniff them out now and avoids them 😊
I think number 10 is a really important one. If they know you know, that can keep them away forever, or so we can hope! 🙏 From my experience the Narcissist became ridiculously fearful once the mask came off. I never spoke to him again. I'm a gentle person and not scary by any means but he literally hid from me in the weeks following his cowardly discard of me by text. I got stalked from a distance by him at a later date, this happened to coincide with me contacting a very bitter ex who was able to fill me in on his long history of treating women like crap and his greed for her money and status. Perhaps word got back to him and it rattled him enough to do a little check on me. They are very paranoid and mentally ill. I think they're terrified of exposure, or possibly get discombobulated with pent up shame. It's a miserable existence they lead, despite their efforts to appear cock-a-hoop. Anyway, blocking if you can is the best way to go to seal the deal and give you more peace of mind. 🛑
I exposed my narcissist. He is so angry and ashamed and is running away from the state completely. He will react badly but I’m going to get thru this. This channel has been my sanity at times so thank you for doing what you do.
🙋♀️🙏🌹
Been a year since I exposed her for what she did and who she is. Unfortunately I fell for the lies and ended up being a donor for a child. When I tried to be involved with the child, she called the cops. Oh well, nice year without the drama
Horrendous
He might actually want to be there for the child though. The child is a blessing
Recently, was wondering about all the items ex took on his kick out to the curb. Weird items from my side of the family at first was hurt. Realized do not need the items, settled it out. Had a aha moment that he took supposed sentimental items in order to hoover in the future just last week! Spot on! That ship has sailed out 4yrs ago! Learned to not live (too much) in the past or the future. Live for now, good things happen if you do it, and that is the great future. People will see you for YOU!
Mine won’t Hoover which I’m glad, because he has a grade A supply again …
beautiful woman very successful submissive offered him up her beautiful huge home within the first month of dating she’s clueless and apparently dealing with someone who hurt her in the past in order to put up with him but right now, I’m sure he’s in the love bomb stage that he did me,
She can keep him and his toxic vapors
Grade A supply. His former divorce client, rich on the huge alimony he got her. Her ex was cheating on her and now she's in bed with a compulsive liar, cheat and manipulator !
Thank you for doing this Paula!
The distance one is definately my saving grace,
She lives 212 miles away in the North of england and is far too lazy too hoover me ,when we was together I did all the travelling ,by train or driving, we was going on a holiday to new york and she didn't want to travel down to Heathrow,I even picked her up, when she stayed at my place,from the north to the south. she didn't like spending money 🤣 either,I did it all.
I also told her that I knew she was a narcassist and that the apples don't fall far from the tree , in her case , how her grown up daughters behaved with their boyfriends,very narcassitic, spoilt etc,
I did tell the flying monkeys what I'd found out, and even sent them some std tests I had done.
This has helped me so much, as I have always wondered why I hadn't Been hoovered ,and I did doubt myself that I had made a mistake with her and she wasn't a narcassist,
I have always been right...
Once again thank you Paula for doing this podcast
I'm not ruminating much at all nw,over a year no contact,
Thanks Paula the last question has been answered!
🙋♀️🌹
My narcissist has terrorized locals his entire life and has hired a flying monkey to pace up n down the street with a metal pipe
Sounds like my ex. ...lovely.
Well said!
The “supply” is their trainer and partner in crime…mommy
Ohhhhhh damn 😂 its such a burn. That statement is 💥💥💥 Mommy will always sing their praises. "He didnt mean to stick a knife to your stomach. He just needs some time." 😂
Yes!
His sister said that maybe the new supply will keep him happy, alleging that he wasn't happy with me for 25 yrs after his first wife divorced him within 10 yrs.
Or elder sister
Why do we want the narc to hoover though ?
This unanswered question gives me tough thoughts
Good question to think about 👍
I once saw a vision that I believe was given by God. It represented the narcissist girlfriend I was seeing at the time, it was her presence in my small hallway, and what was literally behind her was a tall black silhouette of a dark figure with a hideous evil smile saying in a very young girlish voice: "Hiiiiiiii!"..... Then proceeded with a deep sinister voice saying: "I have you now".....At the time it didn't register or faze me much until about one or two years later. And I can definitely tell you this WAS a vision or a sign from God to run from this Demon as fast as I could!
Dear Paula,
every day you save my life. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
They always have already the next, when they discard you. There is therefore very often no hoover for a long time.
🙏🌹
Rennie wagging his tail in the background. Enjoy your walk. Thank you for this video Poula. Bless you.x👍🌟
🙋♀️🐕🙏
BEST EXPLANATION EVER! Thank You Lord! It’s like the trash takes itself out to the curb!!!! 😇🙏🏽
Glad it was helpful!
Paula, this is an excellent video as always. It's been almost 2 years for me, no hoover, nor do I expect one for various reasons, some of which you stated in this video. I think you are spot on when you said that the narcissist comes back for reasons of his/her own. It's always about them and their needs, although of course they will say otherwise in their attempt to re-enter your life. Keep making great videos 🙂.
🙏 Thanks 🌹🐕
"Too much joy to experience" 🎯 Absolutely Paula. 💚💌
You look very happy today!
I was
There's an old saying that says. You fool me once shame on you! You fool me twice shame on me! It never says anything about a 3rd time. She got me twice. Game over!
Lol Same here. And its sad because I knew better. I paid her $350 phone bill because she was pulling away & devaluing. I was just getting onto her game & wasnt quite ready for the discard.
Well I think she sensed that because she treated me just as bad after til I eventually stopped responding. Lol it pains me she got the last laugh. Guilted me into paying her bill so she can continue on with whatever new supply she has.
This was a week ago & I find myself having to continue watching narc vids because of how crazy she made me.
Dear Paula, you are my Angel on my Shoulder, thank you so much, God Bless You.
You too
Ding. Ding. Ding. Paula, many of these reasons I can resonate with, thank you for sharing this wisdom during our healing journey. God bless you🕊️💞
I'm having difficulty with the things I've found in the house. Writings of his "artwork" of demons, etc. He left these hidden so i would find them, and be bothered. So....i have some art supplies and decided i can make that into whatever i want...
One thing a HUMAN can always offer is an apology. Even if they owe you money. Thats one way you know, how they aren't even on your level..Its unspoken. The truth is too great. Im also doing very well mentally. ...and really, its a turning point. Things were revealed to me, in a way i never ever have to deal with this again.
Only things he really seems to have taken, was 2 watches. One was even broken, but that's fine. Hes so delusinal i believe he thinks he can time travel with those. 😂thank you Paula, for the video..i so enjoy them. 💜
The ex i was seeing had some demonic looking ‘artwork’ she had scribbled as well. Not all of it, but there were like shadow people sketches and some weirdness there. Would draw on page 1, leave blank papers in between and suddenly another sketch, sketched on the cardboard backing material, etc, very disordered. Could never ever finish any project she started, whether it be a small bookshelf purchased on amazon, or an art project. Had the capability of a young child when it came to drawing, art projects, making pottery i my shop. Basically would mess with something (while making a total chaotic mess) for hours, until it was unrecognizable. She also had experiences ‘aliens taking skin from her back’, could this be demonic possession?
18:33 After throwing the mother of all rage fits, she had the audacity to ask me for money. Without saying a word, I looked into her eyes and thought for a moment. I reached into my wallet and gave her just enough money for a ride share to get home from the train station she would soon be arriving at. She must have known that I knew, even though I didn't know what a narcissist was at that time. She did try to hoover (because she blocked me first, she had the ability to unblock for the hoover.) I shut her down and "discarded" (her perspective) her again. I don't think she'll try again, but she'll get the same non-response if she does.
Knowing how they think and what will keep them from coming back let’s go teach us. You amazing thank you for your time knowledge and for been you💓💓💓💓
You are so welcome
I have a feeling she knows I know, and I have proof to show in court
They won't show in court. They wont face the truth.
@@Lena-so2lq mine loves to show up to court she feels special like she has a audience, but yea of course she can’t face the truth, but Ms Narc Con said to me once to fight and not give up, so I’m am I’m going to give her hell and expose her!
They always come back, it’s just a matter of time. I thought mine was never gonna return but he finally did after a whole year by that time I had already healed and forgotten about him and was no longer weak to his bs.
I have experienced a narcississt that I have called out on every behaviour. However they have denied accountability in every manipulative way they can and twisted their compulsive lies, blame shifted and weaponised every thing even her kids to lie and God im sad to say. All to protect her relationship/ actions with and for a supply SHE pursued that was a cocaine addict, drunkard and a player that sleeps with multiple women and within just 5 days allowed the supply to do the most disgusting things as well as do the most disgusting things to him in her neighbours house while her own daughter slept below. I have had 12 months of the most incredible lies which have all been 180'd...I realise now through what she has been saying she wants what her supply needs are from me and I have told her No and to find another supply. Although I have made it clear to her she is still trying to engage with communications mostly texts of random topics she knows might interest me to get me to respond but I wont respond because like you said Paula I am at that point where I know nothing this person does is for any benefit in my life. Also the hoover attempts are seeming to be randomised at the moment. I have some benefits you talked of...I am not near to the narc and i have gone no contact so pray for me to be strong in that. Thank you for all your great advice. If there is anything more you think I could do I open to anything to help me in this nightmare situation.
Change your phone and your number. Cut all routes of contact. Come off social media.
Thank you for your advice. She is using bible verses now about going through pain to find love FGS. So I have to sort this asap.
Depends on what the narcissist wants that they are lacking. After the break up, I was stalked and hoovered going on 5 years now. Last one was a few months ago. The break up was 2018.
Its true, I jailed both narcissist. One recently came calling the other day after 10 years, calling here & there on holidays in between. Current narc , soon to be ex-husband, tried to use his lil 9 year old nephew to hoover. Dropped his nephew off at my house to play with our son. He was mad I wouldnt be controlled, so he decided to ignore me & NOT receive his nephew back. I called my sister in law & exposed him. He ignored her , as getting back at her was a two for one. I believe shes a not quite right. Y she would send her son now in the midst of our divorce when she had known what we were going through. They had basically been estranged, then all of a sudden she sees him at a family event, he convinces her to let him get the kid . Little did she know the kid was bait. I let her know if she didnt get him, I was calling the authorities. This was after 4 days of time, of a kid being dumped on me. She had to get last minute tickets in town & back out for her kid & herself. Oh well. My thought was what kind of parent would do such a thing. She knew over the years he had NEVER received her son, I did. Thats ALL over now. A couple weeks later their mother died & hes still cold shouldering his own sister. Im healing, a bit still bitter but its freeing knowing I can reject him, expose them & not care. I pray 🙏 for the day , the narc will be a small lil spec in my past.
When they Fly in like Florence Nightingale but it’s going to be a nothing but a nightmare !!
10-10-10 we got married in a bar , he is gone Thank goodness and I hope I get a divorce for my anniversary 😅😅😅 thank you Paula 💓 love from Socorro NM 💝.
I got hoovered once but in that time i went on to do research as id came across something about narcasists we played the dance for a year i was weaning myself away but in that time i told him i knew he was a narcasist of course that range came but i didn't back down i then rang up the gas board and told them he'd robbed his meter they came out and i was there i said how strange. Before i walked away i told him hey remember that gas situation well it was me i knew then he'd lost control as he never belived id do that to him plus i tokd him i know who he was and the games over that was 5 years ago i changed my number email never mentioned him again i went onto to open 2 businesses and gain 4 diplomas 😂😂😊❤ x
It's good to see Remy.
I bet there aren't any narcissistic dogs. They are too honest. What you see is what you get.
I went no contact, installed cameras facing the street, driveway and doors after he left, blocked all his family/friends including my new grandson. I no longer will permit him to manipulate me. I'm not the same person anymore.
If you take back your ex narc their not going to upgrade you their just going to tare back down what you built up. In my case now I'm not rich far from it! But I'm doing a whole lot better with out my ex in my life. When I was with her for over a decade my life just went slowly down hill now that she's not in my life anymore I got a rise at my job making more money doing pretty well with no more unnecessary drama.
Paula spoke of the narcissist’s eyes and it’s there that the proof is writ large - I’ve being trying to define exactly what it is that’s different about their eyes but, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. There’s something about the lack of connection in their eyes that’s a dead giveaway. Now that I know it for what it is, I know when to turn around and walk away…not a word said. I SEE you.
Thank you, Paula! You covered everything I did and did not. I talked to my late S.O. all day today and into the night. The conversation was fair to middlin', which means to me that it's made it to the work in progress level. I'm happy to leave it on neutral terms and welcome the next era of my life with open arms . xx
Mine didn’t come back I wasn’t financially well off. But you still think you meant something to them . But all lies
They are always looking to "upgrade". That's a big reason why I got the discard 🤑
Heyyy Remy! I see you getting excited for your walkie ❤🐾🌟🐕
Woof 🐕
@@NarcCon Alfie sends woofies back 🌟🐶❤️
I wonder have you ever discussed the difficulties of dealing with an ageing narc .i have children and now grandchildren with my narc ex ,i have managed dealing with him pretty well over last number of years obviously i would rather not have to see him ever again but its just not possible for me ,he is alot older than me and has aged rapidly recently but along with that its as if he cant hide his distain for many and makes cruel comments about everyone its like his ageing has made him too tired to put up an act at all ,i fear he is gone like his late mother who fell out with everyone caused so much harm the older she got .i fear for my children and grandkids ie he makes loud questions about "is such and such still obese" etc and i feel im sheilding everyone from his vicious tongue .which has retraumatised me and brought back bad memories .thank you
Mine (ex narc A) came back when I was really really sick and needed surgery abroad where he looked after my 10 year old as I got the cold shoulder from my other ex Narc b who I was with after I broke up with ex narc A 😅 then ex narc a proceeded to say: “ see narc b couldn’t take care of you! I did!!! I am come back” my god what I got myself into when I look back it is mental 😂😂
We all love you Paula & Remy!❤🐾
Thankyou Paula for all that you do 🙏🏽🌹
🙋♀️🌹
@14:44😂😂😂"...when you're up in the heavens"😂😂😂
I exposed the narcissist, and the criminal police officers that worked with them
It's yust how it go's and went in my relationships with narcs.
Thank you, so Much for your Support and Realy Good explanations and Encouraging Words.
❤️🙏🌈
You are so welcome
Thank you so much for your knowledge on this. I thought I was the crazy one but everything you said is (mother). Unfortunately I’m stuck for the moment living with her because of my 2 kids and my dog. I don’t want them to become her next supply, so I have to wait for now. Until then I’ll be doing limited contact, saying no, and accepting that the loving mother/daughter relationship I have with my daughter, will never be. Peace and love. Much thanks ❤❤❤
My last ever message to my ex I outed her and let her know that I knew she was cheating and manipulating me. Your videos are really helping with moving forward at this hard time. Thank you
Thank you Megan for your videos! I'm watching so many and learning. I'm 6 months no contact, have EVERYTHING blocked, I discarded him as as he was discarding me. I resisted two flying monkeys and haven't heard from him since. I believe I'm an empath and that's why I was able to get out on 'mini' discard. He thought I was pathetic cuz I was crying when he was dumping me. I even said I couldn't live without him. He chuckled!! 😢 Well, I snapped out of his evil spell and saw The Truth. Broke up w/him right there on the phone and immediately BLOCKED EVERYTHING!! Everything!!! And haven't seen him, spoken to him, NOTHING!! Brutal!! I will continue to follow you and tell others I know who are suffering. God bless you 🙏 ❤️
Thank you Paula!
Great reading today.
I always look forward for your teachings. 😊
Thank you so much!
Thank you fore your work and your videos ❤
Glad you like them!
Paula this is just magnificent a lesson that really need to be taught, that eradicates all unnecessary wonder, as to what the awful Nac is up too, in those silent periods of time. ❤
My problem exists in a volunteer peace organisation. The person in question caused so much disruption the creator of the organisation closed it down. I'm working on getting the organisation back on it's feet. The irritant person was a person I thought I could trust, so that was the first place I went for help, but only got excuses. Repeated requests and repeated refusals. Once the first buds of a revived organisation began to show the irritant turned up and quickly got to their work. I confronted the person on the organisation network, got loads of flak because I was far from peaceful in my tactics, but the irritant left, along with a couple of people I'd like to have kept. A member in a position of (a bit of) influence brought the irritant back in and very quickly the disruption began again. At this stage I'm trying to stand back in the hope that other members will recognise the disruptive behaviour and uphold a final and total expulsion. (Wishful thinking?).
Because you were talking in the context of a relationship of 2 people I found it more tricky to figure out how this applied to my situation, but still a big thank you, just provoking thought is useful to me👍
Thanks… not let them take us down
🥴guys for sure it coming back guys😭
I hope he doesn’t
Maybe I’ll be the minority that he’ll never show
You have to prepare for them coming back, you must prepare to not let them in the door.
As night follows day, they reappear.
@@fmckeon1595 we are in trouble 😭
@@Lena-so2lq change the door position they won't see
My Ex Narc Girlfriend herself gone to the Police complaining about me, Still hovered me after One Month 😂 These Demons can do anything. I don't think they've any Self Esteem 😅
❤T.Y Paula T.Y😌🙏 love you remmi 🐾💕
🙏🐕
Nice site! I did number 7 and number 10. Number 7 worked mostly to cut them off. But still some hoovered me (years) later. Just calling/mailing me or show up on my door asif nothing had ever happened. The severe devaluations and emotional abuse were just 'forgotten' on their part. They came in smiling and buttering all the way but within minutes where only talking about themselves again.
I finally got really mad/angry and pushed them away in no uncertain terms...
Since years it's quite and more peacefull now. And I'll never let anyone of them in anymore no-way.
The narc that is trying to destroy me is a addiction therapist ,counselor who has a never ending supply feeding on the pain and suffering of her clients,but still has enough energy and evil to try and do me in😂Your knowledge and experience has been very helpful to me Thank you.
Thank you for your work ❤
You are so welcome
He knows I know because I told him I knew who he was during my “home truths” rant!! Now it’s up to him if he believes me or not …. He can rot as far as I’m concerned 😊
Thank you Paula, long time watcher, first time posting. I exposed him & walked away. A little too cocky in my new found freedom, shedding 20 kilos & newly aquired knowledge of Narcdom I went back within mths only to discover he was latching on to a billionaire (I kid you not). Money & prestigious are his driving force so he was in his element, well kind of ... she had the money & lifestyle he craved but she was also a narc (he had flipped) & he desperately missed my supply. I laughed in his face, saw right through him & left. I severed ties with all associations with him, changed my job & moved. I have no footprint & i know 6yrs later he will still be trying to find me. I once bumped into the both of them by chance (amazing as we live in a big city) they were about to embark on some type of dishonesty both scurried off but not before I laughed in their faces as i was able to loudly declare to all around that they were evil looking to do evil.
Paula, i love your channel
... you speak my language, everything you say resonates & i applaude you for what you are doing. I have become a big advocate to anyone that will listen about NPD & the danger associated with enmeshment in their web. All the power to you & your savvy supporters here in this channel. ❤
Hey thanks for saying hi and your long term support..sounds like you’re well in the light 🌹
😅 Fred Nightengale. Love your videos! It helps so much to know we've all gone through it. Can't figure why I feel hurt sex months later.
Where are you in Ireland? I am from the US. Been listening to you for a long time. I am from Florida and now in Ireland on vacation.
Enjoy
Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on coming to visit you. Lol. You have explained SO MUCH to me and I realized that for 17 years, I have been married to a narcissist. He left only when Obama came up with a plan to expunge $90,000 in school loan debt that his daughter stuck him with. I really thought it was a scam, but we couldn’t believe it. That after three months they took that entire debt off his FICA score and he was able to get a mortgage and buy his own house. He always lived in My beautiful houses. Yes. He lived like a king with me. And guess what? he was up and gone. Right now, I realized from knowing his past that he always had debt and never had any credit. As soon as he got credit back, he bought a house with a mortgage, and I found out just recently that within less than a year and a half he was already in default on that. and he quickly got married to a woman, his new supplier, who paid off his mortgage, and got him out of the default. he really never liked anybody more than six months, so I’m laughing myself thinking what happens when he can’t stand the new supplier and now she owns His house. He’s back to square one! and reading the many characteristics of a narcissist, he is absolutely every single one of them. I used to laugh at his little lies, because they didn’t affect me but now I realize that he fit the perfect identity for this personality disorder. I helped him get his doctorate, and can you believe it is in biblical counseling? There’s so much more to this, but I won’t bore you with the details, but finding your channel was so enlightening. It’s still a long road to get over it and actually this is the first time I’ve been on a cruise without him, and it set me back a little bit emotionally but I’m getting through it. Thanks to you. Forgive me for the grammatical errors here I’m writing this on my cell phone out sailing on a ship. L O L.
النرجسية أصبحت مرض العصر كالاكتئاب و القلق ، و أظن أنه بسبب تضخم الإيجو كرد فعل على إساءات قديمة ، سقوط الأخلاق و الدين من الحياة العصرية رفع القيود على الإيجو بشكل كبير ، شكراً لك مرتين بسبب وضوح العرض و وضوح اللغة الإنجليزية
Paula, great insight. Just wondering to what extent are we, the now malfunctioning supply left in a heap, demonically thwarted ourselves in our healing process? It would stand to reason. Still grieving after two years! And this is despite praying/ connecting with God, counselling and working on understanding how I accommodated this unhealthy relationship. Feeling like I'm stuck in a vortex of grief one minute, anger the next. Maybe taking Remy on a virtual walk would help!
Sounds like therapy maybe concentrating on what’s wrong with you instead of what’s right? Coaching?
Thank you 🙏
You’re welcome 😊
I exsposed him Paula and got rid of him before he could disguard me.He hasn't hovered me in awhile now,months and I haven't been in contact with him in a year and 2 months,I've been so happy and at peace,every now and then I wonder if it's permanent he has moved on finally,but I'm never letting my guards down,because those evil entities are so unpredictable predictable lol Hi Remi love u and Paula with all my heart.Oh I got me a Cavapoo ,her name is Nevaeh .my best friend next to God
Hi Nevaeh 🐕
What i find difficult is that, according to all the videos etc, even the good they show is false and with an ulterior motive.
Its hard to believe that the goodness someone shows is not real.
Hi.
Loving your videos. I’m very confused at the moment, I recently met someone who is saying things like .. “I’m wanted by many” .. “I’m beautiful inside and out” .. “I’ know I’m special”.. “having sexual and psychological dominance feels delicious” the list goes on. I said “you are
Sound so egotistical, and narcissistic” and laughed, I have instantly been ghosted. Do these type of things sound like a possibility narcissist? What’s confused me is they seemed really sweet, charming, and compassionate.
Yes