Great video because it's the truth. When they no longer hoover....consider it a victory! They know that you know who they are.....and that scares them. They cannot use you anymore and they cannot face who they really are.
That's just great and they can't face who they've always been, true nobodies in their very own eyes, simple people to go along/match their very simple minds!
I understand hoovering, "love" bombing, gaslighting, manipulation tactics, control...etc But what I don't understand and probably never understand is narcissists MISSING, having ZERO EMPATHY. I have always found that to be VERY perplexing, to say the least. The narcissists feel NOTHING in that department. You could be very ill, and your life is in danger, but they feel NOTHING. You could be having surgery, and serious complications arise, which can put your life in jeopardy, buuuut they feel NOTHING... They all seem to have a heart of STONE. WHY? I just DON'T get it....
I said “NO,” which I had never done before, being a people pleaser. I’m nice until someone pushes me too far, then I am the meanest bitch on the planet. And they deserve it. 😇👍🏼❤️
consider it a mega millions lottery win for your mental health if a narcissist leaves you alone. If the narcissist is giving you the silent treatment, think to yourself that you have done or said something powerful (truthful) to make the narcissist back off. either it's shame-inducing or they realize that there's nothing to gain from you. cheers 🍻from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@jbrown2908 thanks for the kind words! happy canada day and 4th of july if you live in 🇺🇸 . july 1st for us serious hockey fans means free agency starts at 12 noon sat lol 😆 all the best - steven.
Yeah! I talked to him about other men pretending, using excuses etc, and since then he' s never again asked me out. He must have realized there is nothing he can gain from meeee! Cheers from Italy
Hi Danish, I do appreciate your video's and I already watched a lot of your different contents. But on this topic of hoovering I have another opinion, because Narcissists will never accept a closure and they will always hoover you: 1. to see if they are still able to push your buttons 🛑 - if they still have control over you 2. when they need something from you 🤲 that they know you are able to give to them 3. when they want you as a 🐵 flying monkey The hoover may come after weeks, months, years or even decades later!!! They do not forget anybody, at least not from their former inner circle because you are an extention of themselves and their books are never closed. Only you can get closure by yourself which means that you stay no contact, do not fall for their hoover because otherwise the circle of devaluation and discard will start over again but this time it will get even worse. And remember: you have always been stronger 💪than the Narcissist because they are just driven by their inner, deeply insecurities and shame 😱
Narcs only return to familiar places. They do not wade into deep waters intentionally. If they come back, it is because they know they can. Stay strong. Keep your head up.
@@bk_8338 The former inner circle is a familiar place, isn't it?! The sociopath I was dealing with hoovered me for several times just to see if he had another chance to control me. I stayed strong and did not react. Stay strong as well and take care.
That is an interesting thought - that "the narcissist does not forget anybody because the narcissist sees everyone as an extention of themselves." I would add... and as potential sources of supply.
Spot On every scenarios you just said, Danish! The only issue, he is officially FREE but why still fighting me while he left me abandoned over 3k miles away?! I already let him be, let it go and let it be! Just got my power back by no contacts and declined all his texts, FaceTime, emails, calls… now, I can imagine how pissed off he is as always a narc rage over nothing. So be it!
Had to reach my hands through the shower curtain to type this because it couldnt wait. Thanks man, really. When you said that at the end about the badge of honor. it was like... you are walking around totally confused in pitch darkness, and then you hear those words and a little neon sign turns on way in the distance. This way.
he had his jollies breaking me down, and going in for the kill since I started the divorce months ago. NO hoovering for he knows I KNOW he is an EVIL monster. The court process is agonizingly SLOW. Am hanging on by a thread.
Who needs a girlfriend when his mommy is always there to pamper him like a prince and kiss all his fragile bruised ego boo boos?🤷♀️He dumped me and ran back to his mother who was his real girlfriend and wife all along (psychologically). And he's grooming his 5 year old daughter to be his second wife emotionally. Good riddance.
Yes I can relate to that, the ex had the relationship with his mother and sister. He was married to them and you was this outsider who had no say in anything but to cook, clean etc. They can keep that sorry state of a man.
same hah, mommy issues are prevalent with guys that experienced mothers leaving them at about 4/5 years old, to go to work other city or similar. i’ve met 2 like that, both had madonna/hoe thing going and controlling through withdrawal of se x
Yes. I agree. What are their secret lives ? Are they more prone to cheating on you in relationships or having secret girlfriends on the side? I'm curious about that.
She said I didn’t need to go “all scorched earth” on her. Yes I did. I’m the most loyal person, but when I am done I’m done. It’s been a few years and not a peep out of her. Still, I wouldn’t be completely surprised if she turns up someday when she’s desperate. I understand from mutual friends that things aren’t going at all well for her.
How many times 'it' played with my mind I can't even explain but this truth has let me free these days I am confident and growing not worrying about companionship,friendship all I want is to grow and prosper mah God help all souls trapped here.
Maybe they did & you didn’t notice. Happened to me. I feel so stupid now, but I’m so very grateful I didn’t know about narcs & all the different Hoovers they do. That said, be grateful & make sure they can’t contact you should they come back. Better safe than sorry
Hi l love this video my friend God bless you sir I have grown so much it aggravates them they jump up and down in my practice thank you and I thank God be safe blessings👍🏼😊🌎❤️👏🏻✝️🇺🇸 Jesus Christ is king 🩸👑
How did you learn so much? Is there a school you attended!? I want so badly to educate myself like you have. You truly inspire me to find myself again after 30 years of abuse.. i would love to hear more about your story, if you are married? and how you got yourself to become free to trust and love again. If not married, do you find that having had a covert mother's abuse that thinking of marriage is difficult? Do you want kids? I remarried but it took 8yrs and God's help. I find myself struggling at times still but my marriage is very strengthening and freeing because I found a very strong companion and he too is a survivor. Please dont feel obligated to talk about your personal life if you dont want to. I only ask because as an abused child of a malignant mother, i ended up with a very terrifying and sadistic man at 21yrs old and it nearly ended my life. I tell this because, to every marry again or find God was hopeless but it happened
Been a year with zero contact. She had "our" daughter about 9 months ago. Never met the child, and thats all the mother used me for. I dont ever expect to hear from either of them
I started watching videos on Christian narcs but, they're all the same. Just watch the Christian ones and insert your religion of choice. All spiritual narcs are the same. They twist your religion to suit their goals. They use your religion to make you feel trapped. They put on a good show in church, mosque, synagogue for others and they're popular there for their religious knowledge. Sound familiar even though I was with a Christian narc? I thought so.
They're highly controlling at home but smile for the public and act like a good guy. If you want them to listen to your pain, they'll only give you scriptures and not comfort you. They tell you to get over it, it's nothing. UNLESS they're the one having a hard time. You must console them for much less. They preach with the best of them and frequently hold high positions in your religious organization because they love the praise of others. Yeah. That was mine.
I am going through a divorce with a narcissist right now … and I can tell you … unless there are minor children involved, the courts will NOT take the time to listen to your stories and your documentation … you would literally have to have proof of physical abuse and police reports to get the courts attention, and it would need to be under the criminal court system, not family court …. Sooo … as far as documenting events, do it for your own records to remind you of all the abusive events, because the abuse has a way of creating mind fog and cognitive dissonance which will lead to you blurring out and forgetting all the abusive moments … but DON’T count on it helping with a divorce case … the courts are so backed up with cases that they will just go by the book to run the cases through … if you hire an attorney that makes you think the documentations and recordings will help you get justice, then your attorney is misleading you ! … there are only three states in the US who recognize the concept of coercive control, mental abuse, financial abuse etc in court cases … UNLESS THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED …
I have no want to air out my story of woe in a courtroom. i want out of this Twilight Zone horror. However, my million dollar estranged husband of 10 yrs cleverly made sure i have ZERO in any savings to survive. If there is any way, I won't let him get away with murder.....mine. Psychological/emotional abuse entwined with financial is being recognized with want for victims to be compensated. There was a bill introduced in 1/2023 in NC that addresses this. Further, there are torts.
Connect with me on Instagram:
instagram.com/narcabusecoach
No hoovering is a major sign of triumph! Congratulations! 💥You are free from this evil monster! (Nice, clear image here, Danish)! 👍
Great video because it's the truth. When they no longer hoover....consider it a victory! They know that you know who they are.....and that scares them. They cannot use you anymore and they cannot face who they really are.
That's just great and they can't face who they've always been, true nobodies in their very own eyes, simple people to go along/match their very simple minds!
I feel quite honoured that he didn't hoover me. Probably knew it was a waste of his time.
I understand hoovering, "love" bombing, gaslighting, manipulation tactics, control...etc
But what I don't understand and probably never understand is narcissists MISSING, having ZERO EMPATHY. I have always found that to be VERY perplexing, to say the least. The narcissists feel NOTHING in that department. You could be very ill, and your life is in danger, but they feel NOTHING. You could be having surgery, and serious complications arise, which can put your life in jeopardy, buuuut they feel NOTHING...
They all seem to have a heart of STONE.
WHY?
I just DON'T get it....
@@jbrown2908 Thank you! You are absolutely right.
@@m.pellicierThey don't have a conscience or a soul... They are empty. They are from the kingdom of darkness
I said “NO,” which I had never done before, being a people pleaser. I’m nice until someone pushes me too far, then I am the meanest bitch on the planet. And they deserve it. 😇👍🏼❤️
Mine didn’t because his mom broke up with me and held his hand through the breakup.
Yep same here, the mother and sister both thought they were married to the ex.
Same here his mum told him to leave me when I got pregnant. We were married but he left because mummy told him too!
All of yall were with son husbands. They're the weakest of men
😮😮😮
consider it a mega millions lottery win for your mental health if a narcissist leaves you alone.
If the narcissist is giving you the silent treatment, think to yourself that you have done or said something powerful (truthful) to make the narcissist back off. either it's shame-inducing or they realize that there's nothing to gain from you.
cheers 🍻from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@jbrown2908 thanks for the kind words!
happy canada day and 4th of july if you live in 🇺🇸 .
july 1st for us serious hockey fans means free agency starts at 12 noon sat lol 😆
all the best - steven.
So very true
Yeah! I talked to him about other men pretending, using excuses etc, and since then he' s never again asked me out. He must have realized there is nothing he can gain from meeee! Cheers from Italy
@@Ram-uj8ls well done. keep fighting the good fight.
all the best, steven.
Hi Danish,
I do appreciate your video's and I already watched a lot of your different contents.
But on this topic of hoovering I have another opinion, because Narcissists will never accept a closure and they will always hoover you:
1. to see if they are still able to push your buttons 🛑 - if they still have control over you
2. when they need something from you 🤲 that they know you are able to give to them
3. when they want you as a 🐵 flying monkey
The hoover may come after weeks, months, years or even decades later!!!
They do not forget anybody, at least not from their former inner circle because you are an extention of themselves and their books are never closed. Only you can get closure by yourself which means that you stay no contact, do not fall for their hoover because otherwise the circle of devaluation and discard will start over again but this time it will get even worse.
And remember: you have always been stronger 💪than the Narcissist because they are just driven by their inner, deeply insecurities and shame 😱
Narcs only return to familiar places. They do not wade into deep waters intentionally. If they come back, it is because they know they can. Stay strong. Keep your head up.
@@bk_8338 The former inner circle is a familiar place, isn't it?! The sociopath I was dealing with hoovered me for several times just to see if he had another chance to control me. I stayed strong and did not react. Stay strong as well and take care.
That is an interesting thought - that "the narcissist does not forget anybody because the narcissist sees everyone as an extention of themselves." I would add... and as potential sources of supply.
@@bk_8338 Why do you say that "they do not wade into deep waters intentionally"? Because they are fearful and lack confidence?
@@malibu90265 Spot on. They prey on your insecurities.
Spot On every scenarios you just said, Danish! The only issue, he is officially FREE but why still fighting me while he left me abandoned over 3k miles away?! I already let him be, let it go and let it be! Just got my power back by no contacts and declined all his texts, FaceTime, emails, calls… now, I can imagine how pissed off he is as always a narc rage over nothing. So be it!
I really needed this you answered so many of my questions. Thank you. 😊
Thank you. 😊
Had to reach my hands through the shower curtain to type this because it couldnt wait. Thanks man, really. When you said that at the end about the badge of honor. it was like... you are walking around totally confused in pitch darkness, and then you hear those words and a little neon sign turns on way in the distance. This way.
he had his jollies breaking me down, and going in for the kill since I started the divorce months ago. NO hoovering for he knows I KNOW he is an EVIL monster. The court process is agonizingly SLOW. Am hanging on by a thread.
@@jbrown2908 Every day I use all my might despite what I'm up against. Thanks.
Thank you. I felt a bit confused. I get it now.
Who needs a girlfriend when his mommy is always there to pamper him like a prince and kiss all his fragile bruised ego boo boos?🤷♀️He dumped me and ran back to his mother who was his real girlfriend and wife all along (psychologically). And he's grooming his 5 year old daughter to be his second wife emotionally. Good riddance.
Yes I can relate to that, the ex had the relationship with his mother and sister. He was married to them and you was this outsider who had no say in anything but to cook, clean etc. They can keep that sorry state of a man.
Son husbands
same hah, mommy issues are prevalent with guys that experienced mothers leaving them at about 4/5 years old, to go to work other city or similar. i’ve met 2 like that, both had madonna/hoe thing going and controlling through withdrawal of se x
and then mommy called and he was all in love :)
YES FUCK THAT made me so pissed
Thank you
Why would anyone want to hear from such a person ever again!!
Great message
This is such an uplifting video. Hurrah we defeated the narcissist!
Please make a video anout their secret lives they hide from others.
Yes. I agree. What are their secret lives ? Are they more prone to cheating on you in relationships or having secret girlfriends on the side? I'm curious about that.
She said I didn’t need to go “all scorched earth” on her. Yes I did. I’m the most loyal person, but when I am done I’m done. It’s been a few years and not a peep out of her. Still, I wouldn’t be completely surprised if she turns up someday when she’s desperate. I understand from mutual friends that things aren’t going at all well for her.
Thank you Danish, I am with you, you with us.
Once they know for sure that you know what they are they will leave you alone wether is a narcassist psycopath or bpd
How many times 'it' played with my mind I can't even explain but this truth has let me free these days I am confident and growing not worrying about companionship,friendship all I want is to grow and prosper mah God help all souls trapped here.
Very useful it explained why he left thank you now i finally understand and can have a closure
You have all the answers to these controlling friendships!
You are the best Danish!Thank you so much,you help lot of People,victims of narcisist...God bless you!
Please can you talk
About their double lives
Thanks a lot for making this wonderful video 🙏🙏❤️❤️👍👍😊😊
Thank you for your videos, Danish. I have listened to lots. They are very direct and truthful. Thank you.
Maybe they did & you didn’t notice. Happened to me. I feel so stupid now, but I’m so very grateful I didn’t know about narcs & all the different Hoovers they do. That said, be grateful & make sure they can’t contact you should they come back. Better safe than sorry
They’re aware they’ve used you up and know it.
Hi l love this video my friend God bless you sir I have grown so much it aggravates them they jump up and down in my practice thank you and I thank God be safe blessings👍🏼😊🌎❤️👏🏻✝️🇺🇸 Jesus Christ is king 🩸👑
How did you learn so much? Is there a school you attended!? I want so badly to educate myself like you have. You truly inspire me to find myself again after 30 years of abuse.. i would love to hear more about your story, if you are married? and how you got yourself to become free to trust and love again. If not married, do you find that having had a covert mother's abuse that thinking of marriage is difficult? Do you want kids?
I remarried but it took 8yrs and God's help. I find myself struggling at times still but my marriage is very strengthening and freeing because I found a very strong companion and he too is a survivor.
Please dont feel obligated to talk about your personal life if you dont want to. I only ask because as an abused child of a malignant mother, i ended up with a very terrifying and sadistic man at 21yrs old and it nearly ended my life. I tell this because, to every marry again or find God was hopeless but it happened
One died, and the others are afraid...
Thank you!🎉
My narc Did Not hoover me, so .I did a hapoy dance👍🏻😀💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼😀👍🏻FREEDOM! Woo hoo!
Good to know, thanks
Very helpful.
Been a year with zero contact. She had "our" daughter about 9 months ago. Never met the child, and thats all the mother used me for. I dont ever expect to hear from either of them
What did the innocent child do to you 🤔
@@characterasmrgirl5430 nothing
But what if a narcissist doesn't hoover you after exposing and then discarding them?
Thank you ❤
Will they even try to hoover after being exposed and time has gone by or is it over for good when you expose them? Just curious
If they are desperate enough they will still hoover. That's why you have to block them from all contact.
In my case he hoovers indirectly but not trying to get me back just bullying
Thank you
Love pulling their fragile strings not yours
Thanks
Exactly!!
❤❤❤❤❤
Heck yes
Hi Danish! Do they change with their next supply?
True
Danish make a video on Muslim narcissist
I started watching videos on Christian narcs but, they're all the same. Just watch the Christian ones and insert your religion of choice. All spiritual narcs are the same.
They twist your religion to suit their goals. They use your religion to make you feel trapped. They put on a good show in church, mosque, synagogue for others and they're popular there for their religious knowledge.
Sound familiar even though I was with a Christian narc? I thought so.
They're highly controlling at home but smile for the public and act like a good guy. If you want them to listen to your pain, they'll only give you scriptures and not comfort you. They tell you to get over it, it's nothing. UNLESS they're the one having a hard time. You must console them for much less.
They preach with the best of them and frequently hold high positions in your religious organization because they love the praise of others. Yeah. That was mine.
Not this time! Ripped his mask off! Educated!
HAS ANYONE sued their narc spouse for emotional and financial abuse separate to divorce action??
I am going through a divorce with a narcissist right now … and I can tell you … unless there are minor children involved, the courts will NOT take the time to listen to your stories and your documentation … you would literally have to have proof of physical abuse and police reports to get the courts attention, and it would need to be under the criminal court system, not family court …. Sooo … as far as documenting events, do it for your own records to remind you of all the abusive events, because the abuse has a way of creating mind fog and cognitive dissonance which will lead to you blurring out and forgetting all the abusive moments … but DON’T count on it helping with a divorce case … the courts are so backed up with cases that they will just go by the book to run the cases through … if you hire an attorney that makes you think the documentations and recordings will help you get justice, then your attorney is misleading you ! … there are only three states in the US who recognize the concept of coercive control, mental abuse, financial abuse etc in court cases … UNLESS THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED …
I have no want to air out my story of woe in a courtroom. i want out of this Twilight Zone horror. However, my million dollar estranged husband of 10 yrs cleverly made sure i have ZERO in any savings to survive. If there is any way, I won't let him get away with murder.....mine. Psychological/emotional abuse entwined with financial is being recognized with want for victims to be compensated. There was a bill introduced in 1/2023 in NC that addresses this. Further, there are torts.
Thank you❤
Thank you
Thanks