Mo'Nique and Respectability Politics
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- Karen and Tonya Pinkins (@tonyapinkins on Twitter) discuss #MoNique's (@9MagTV) message to women wearing bonnets and pajamas in the airport of ATL.
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I’m not even from that generation and I’m over the bonnet and long ass lashes with fur house shoes on the plane. Sagging pants too. Black people stop being victims when our elders are trying to give us knowledge. And I’m feeling like this lady is all over the place. And she putting too much into what Monique was saying. It wasn’t about not being respected by others or getting shot by police. It was about giving a damn about your appearance. Period
Yeah, they'll take the time to glue show girl eye lashes on but won't pick out a casual outfit that wasn't made for sleeping.
Talk that real talk!
@@janlet627 Speak on it! Values completely out of order!
@@janlet627 this! And a tight ass body suit, so that whole notion that they doing it to be comfortable is bogus.
I love the lashes
Women and men need to have pride in our appearance when we go out in public.
Absolutely!
For ourselves as individuals as well as for each other.
Cannot STAND when guys' pants are sagging.
There are beautiful headwraps and scarves (African , Indian, Arabain etc., styles) that can be worn instead of dubious bonnets. This isn't what Monique is criticizing.
Monique was nice because she didn't ppleven comment on the stains and nasty househoes and unclean bra straps.
Karen misses it here (stating Monique being from another time and cultural space, so make room for allowances) and so does her know-it-all guest that came up on video claiming WE can't wear anything without being attacked, so wear what the F-one wants.
I wear my fros, head wraps and baldness with tons of dignity and so can anyone.
Lost folk.
Make no excuses, I hope Monique repeats Bill message, 'pull up your darn pants'.
Exactly ‼️‼️‼️
Karen, you are awesome 👌. Monique is 100% correct. Your guest on this interview is part of the problem. Young Black women have followed this type of woman, kids need guidance and direction.
I agree with you black women are doing too much when they out in public. Just do your hair.
The thing is this downward slope in appearance doesn’t correct itself. It’s not like “ok, it once was a fad to sag your pants and to show your drawls but one day, that will be all over, and one day we’ll all go back to being fully covered and nicely dressed.” Nope. Once you let the standard go, it’s a downward spiral, it’s a free for all and it never comes back up or gets even better because there’s no incentive. Things just continue to decline. This is why we nip these things in the bud before it comes to this.
Respectability politics versus self respect.
Ok exactly it is a matter of respecting thyself 💯💯💯.
I’m not going out around town with a bonnet on and my house clothes.
Well, if I have a Sweet Tooth. Can't say I won't wear one. If folks don't like it. Look Away!😆
Mo' Nique said what she felt needed to be said. Her initial statement was appropriate and her response to the backlash was even better.
Yes, it's a different time and you never know what people are going show up wearing but good advice never hurt anyone.
My parents would say, if someone gives you advice or their opinion take the part you can use and don't get stuck on the part that doesn't benefit you.
My parents would also say, white people hate to be blamed and black people hate to be shamed. ***Too often we get caught up thinking someone is trying to embarrass us and we miss out on the things that can benefit us.
Always look presentable you don't know who you might see or what might happen to you this is Shark Tank and for that reason I'm out
A word!
Leah, your parents were dead right about on that saying! 🙌🏽
How about inviting Monique on the show for a discussion..
Yassss 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Exactly 💯
How about that Karen Hunter! Let's have Mo on your show.
For real. Because she ain't saying nothing that is not true.
Being at home with your PJ’s on is totally different from being out in the streets wearing PJ’s. It’s a hot mess!!!
Dont think Mo'nique meant to performance shame the young people but wanted to tap their shoulder to say change the negative way you're presenting yourselves to the world.
Monique’s grace, pose, and eloquent commentary, outside of her standup, is to be appreciated and genuine as far as I am concerned. Why do our brothers and sisters keep trying to tear her down. She genuinely supports the pride, fairness, and respect that we deserve. The video of the young lady commenting on Monique, misrepresented everything Monique said. Monique has to bend over backwards in her preface and throughout her comments to say this is not being said out of disrespect, fault, or being negative. Time to stop turning on each other.
EXACTLY!!!
Exactly too‼️‼️‼️
Exactly
So, So, Real Mo’Nique . Black Women need to always be Clean Neat, and Together. ✊🏾
I still show up to the airport business casual. That’s how I was raised and taught in B-school. Oh, and I have natural hair.
I dress with INTENTION-- to always look and feel my best. I have traveled the world and have encountered wonderful connections. Facts--we are initially judged by our appearance. I would have missed out on opportunities if I wore a bonnet and my pjs while traveling on a plane. I am not saying be in heels and a suit. But, even casual attire can be elevated. I believe we do represent not only ourselves but our people to the world.I am from the school of thought--I could be the first black person you encounter. Even if you dont like me, my ancestors demand that I represent myself and my people with boldness and confidence. And, that includes looking my best. Reality TV and even the negative images from social media sites such as ,"The Shade Room" circulates around the world. Unfortunately they form negative perceptions of us as a group. Initially, we don't have the luxury of being seen "individually" when we encounter someone from another cultural group. So, maybe if more of us began to take individual pride(while still being uniquely ourselves) it will begin to influence the misconceptions of the collective group.
influencedperceptionYET, maybe the consensus in this new generation is they dont give a F@@k what anyone or the world thinks of us collectively? Maybe they are freer because they only see themselves as individuals first with no declaration of honoring the "dead'..
@@CagedbirdFree As my grandma use to say, “Dress for where you’re going; not for where you’re coming from”. I miss her..
I remember preparing to take my first business trip back in the early 90’s, I was wearing a jogging suit and tennis shoes. My father, who was driving me to the airport, looked at me and said, “Is that what you’re wearing.?” I went back and changed into a nice top, pair of pants and shoes. From that point on, I always make sure I’m business casual when I travel. 🤣
Do you, do you really. Business Casual anytime after 10 pm. Is a waist of Clothing! It's called doing to much. To impress who, like no one cares. When you're trying to get your next flight. ✈️
Facts
If only one person received Moniques message, thats one less person we’ll have to look at in a bonnet out in public. 👏🏾👏🏾. Thank you, Mo.
I do see further beyond the Bonnet & PJ's in public that Monique is speaking on. With many it's not about being comfortable so much as it is about a new Hip Hop Culture. There's the loud music, loud talking on cell phones, music with lots of vial language, personal grooming, all that comes with the Bonnets & PJ & Slippers, WHILE IN THE PUBLIC. Sagging Jeans, Tee Shirts etc is the new culture. I had a young man show up for a job interview in a white tee shirt. It's a whole problem, no respect for our elders anymore. Thanks Monique, We Think It, but she had the balls to say it, unapologetically!!!
Right! Because how you comfortable with a tight ass body suit
1. I agree with KH re generational gaps in teachings from elders, being your children's friends before being a teacher. Monique put on her elder hat and I ain't made at her for that. 2. For me, it's not a matter of meeting a certain "white-facing" standard, but a matter of dignity and self-respect. I taught my daughters--and now, my granddaughters--that when you walk into a room your very presence should command respect without you having to open your mouth. How you present yourself is how the world receives you. I have locs down my back and am one of the only two black people at my job--a law firm. Yet, my carriage let's the melanemic staff, and management, know I’m not the one! We tell the world we are queens and kings; we gotta show up that way--or do we not believe it ourselves?!
Monique said nothing wrong. As long as the fact that we as a people have to be twice as good to receive half as much remains true, Mo’s advice also remains true.
I believe in taking her in the spirit she is giving the advice. To me if you disagree, Tonya, fine but questioning her motives as performance, is disrespect.
With all due respect I think it's a cop out for anybody over the age of 40 to say their world is done and it's young people's now. I'm not actually 6' under yet so I don't quite think that's true, it's an excuse. It seems so alien and Western to us to go with this "it's all about the young people" mantra. Did black people always do that crap?!This was a great discussion and I can see all points. However, my kids can cook, clean, come home every night without dragging drama behind them and pay attention to me because I pay attention to them. And yes, sometimes when they leave the house I cringe at what they're wearing 😄
Whoa!! I agree!!! We are ALL in this together!!! Age is just a number!!!! Nooooooo, it's not their world, it's all of ours!!!! I love our young ppl!!! I love their thoughts and ideas. And they ARE open to what we have to say! Of course, not everyone but come on we can't use that as an excuse!!!!
tell it
This is why the black community struggles today. We do not have pride in ourselves like we did in the prior to the 90s. We used to love our hair and wear it proudly and we took pride in the way we looked. Not saying we have to follow what white people think is okay, but be who God intended us to be. We have to do better! Thank you Monique!
Exactly ‼️‼️‼️
I have no problem with what nor how Monique delivered her thoughts. I totally agree. I am 48 and a grandmother of a 5 and 2 yr old. I tell my daughters all the time carry your self with respect for yourself. You never know who you will meet and what opportunities you are turning down because you looking like you just rolled out off bed. In old school. The world has become way to relax in saying well this generation is different. Its because the massive have allowed it on so many levels. Her using social media was the safest way because folks trigger happy now days when you try to tell them something for there good when their not leveled minded to receive it.
Monique was correct in her response to the next generation... If we as so called Elders (over 30 yrs old) are unable to express our truth to the next generation in love, is setting them up for failure.
Empowering young people card blanche without history or context, based on emotions and feelings is what tired people do. "Young people", are young. Peer pressure and emotions are high. Logical thinking is underdeveloped and in some, never is realized. They often lack the foresight that this issue today may very well be in some unforeseen way, connected 10 years from now. Parents used to say, "I don't care what "so and so" is doing, this is how we do it here." Too many resent that guidance, that they still don't fully comprehend, and have unleashed an even less informed generation behind them. To top it off, they are "grown", so don't say anything to them..?
Houston, we got problems.
You said it right there 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I like what Monique said. It was touching. I receive it❤
We should hold each other accountable, nothing wrong with that. Iam my brothers keeper. time and place for everything as well.
You are not a brother to every black person. Let's stop addressing randoms and address our own personal communities. Monique is a mammy.
No we shouldn't! I'm not my brothers or sisters keepers. Especially when it comes to grown folks dressing! 😉
It’s not even about the bonnets. You could mention anything and some of the same people would say “mind your business/don’t tell ne what to do... I’m free.” It’s less about encouraging people to look decent than people defying anyone to tell them what to do because “I’m going to do me regardless”/ I’m fighting for my right to do whatever and I won’t hear of anyone challenging me to change...(this rebellion, self “love” and defiance will only continue to increase in the last days but that’s a whole other subject for a whole other day... )
Monique was right and what she said and how she said it I can't believe how y'all say this is a different time and then get on her for saying something over the internet that is what is going on in this time. That's how people communicate that's how people get their word out so I don't know how you can speak out of both sides of your mouth. Decency never goes out of style. And people need to stop being offended over every word. You talk about young people but these young people are made of nothing either they have no integrity they have no steadfastness they have no long suffering and they're full of crap. I think you guys as old ones need to reinforce the elders in maintaining a level of decency she was coming from Love. Learn the difference and get out of your own feelings.
When did our love for our youth become criticism, they're not listening, they don't hear us, they don't hear the love. I tell my niece who is a extreme smart azz, don't write a check your azz can't cash!!!
100%
Karen just said "it is a different time since our parents." So, Monique is addressing this for the times we are in. Social media is the new "One on One" at this time.
Once again Karen speaking facts...it’s the “we” not raising up the next generation properly! I just high five Karen all the time in my Spirit. We are definitely Sisters in that way! But Monique is speaking facts as well, Maya Angelou put it like this, “When you know better, do better”. This generation knows better and don’t want the responsibility of doing better...it’s not their fault like you said it’s they people not teaching them anything👋🏽
🙏🏽🙏🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 YAAASSSSS!!!! I am SO glad Auntie Monique spoke up. I hope I and other AfAm elder women do too.
What about our representation to ourselves and to each other? This is not about outward facing justifying our legitimacy to someone else. This is about our relationship with ourselves and our culture. What are we to ourselves and our culture?
🖤
..."what ARE we to ourselves, each other, and our culture"
#this
#Knarrative
Exactly
Tonya Pinkins last response in this interview needs to be being printed up in real time on t-shirts and hoodies.
It was a WORD!
I respectfully disagree with Ms. Tonya. I agree with Monique. We are the same age and I understand the nature from where it comes. I believe that it came from a nature of love.
This👆🏾
I believe Mo came from a place of love 💕 I guess anything goes now!
Monique isn’t wrong, too many of our folks are too ratchet and do not want to improve themselves. Go to Africa and see how ladies dress, even the poorest always looking their best especially, when out in public. I am surprised they were allowed on the flight as there are dress codes.
Your guest, Ms Pinket vacillated and in my opinion gave nothing constructive as she took it personal.
I've been a flight attendant for 15 years and there is NO dress code. There USE to be a time when people would dress up to fly. Also I use to have to wear a dress or skirt to sit in first class when I was traveling on my flight passes just as I use to have to wear stockings to work in an office. All that has changed. Some people are just atrocious when they come on the plane.
Monique is what “The Village” is suppose to be about. I get her message and appreciate her caring enough to say something.
My deceased mom would check me before I left out for school. She wanted to make sure I did the following, comb my hair, ironed my clothes and polished my shoes. Her thing was that when I walked out the house, I represented her. Unfortunately there’s an I don’t care generation out here.
Y'all had a real grown people's conversation! Tonya Pinkins I'm so glad to have discovered you in this space! You had me at "dress for the amount of sex you can handle" BOOM! Dr./Sista Hunter thank you for never disappointing with your content! I love Mo'Nique and she said what she said when she said it. I'm a fan of the bonnet and slippers in house but hey, it's not my season or my style so on that note "Do You". I used to be the Nike "Just Do It" Chick. The generation who truly does just came after me. So we opened the doors to how young people show up in these spaces.
There are TONS of outdoor clothing that can be "comfortable". Pj's, house shoes and bonnets, should not be worn while you are out and about in public settings! Karen's guest is part of the problem mindset!!
Monique spoke the truth 👏💯. You can miss opportunities by the way you are dressed. I got hired on the spot without filling out an application. It makes a difference!! When she said that I had to check myself also! Thanks Monique!!!
Mo’Nique clearly said there were too many to tap personally, and she talked about pride in representing themselves. She did not sound condescending or judgmental to me, she sounded caring, courageous and loving. Tap me on my shoulder anytime you want Mo’Nique; not many people left who will deliver a sincerely loving truth to you.
I am not a fan of Monique’s comedy, but I am a HUGE fan of her genuine character and eloquent wisdom!
Do the Elders have a role in our culture or do we disrespect and dismiss their life experience and wisdom all together? Or can young and older learn from each other? If it's our fault all together, can we collectively correct together? Is it either/or...or both/and?
Elders do have a role. We can all learn from each other. And we should correct together. 🙂
Respect your elders because one day you will become a elder that will want to be respected because of your experiences in life. Live goes around and you see your faults made earlier in life when you get older.
Good comment. Are we cancelling the wisdom of our elders in this cancel culture world?
I almost ALWAYS run into someone when I just go out "Lookin' any kinda way", and I almost ALWAYS feel more confident when I love what I'm wearing and I'm having a good hair day. You see your image all day, every day. What image do you want to present to yourself?
Beautiful show!
Most wise and mature conversation, on this topic.
I am of that generation being talked about. I am now 65 and the only black in my work space. I still represent. The difference is I speak my unapologetically Black Christian mind. I said black first because that is what will always be seen first especially in America.
Don’t air our dirty laundry. That’s what the old folks said.
The dirty laundry is hanging on a clothes line in the airport, mall, grocery stores, etc. for the world to see. Mentioning it doesn't make it more noticeable really.
Thank you!!! I said the same thing about Monique's approach to giving her "babies" advice! Ms. Pattie spoke with her in private. Monique has a big platform and she shamed her sistas whose already being judged by the world even when we're dressed to the nines!
You are so right Professor Hunter about the schooling and the knowledge of how I was raised and the rules and lessons imposed on me by my mother and the women in my family and me being a 60’s baby is out the window! But really the bonnet is just what we called a shower cap and we never wore those outside! Times has changed! .
Good conversation as always 🙌🏽
Oh yes she did, i also believe “that our mind has not fully caught up to our freedom”, you are right, these you g people are very different than the baby boomers, the ‘X’ generation, in that respect that is a very good mindset ti have, on the same scale, the younger generation, dont fully understand how that actually got that freedom. So i do understand Monique, i always will tap a person on the shoulder and say my peace, respectfully, the response is ALWAYS welcomed with a thank you.
There is no benefit to sinking to the lowest common denominator! Monique is right on point! Is that “BlackGirlMagic” or “BlackExcellence”, no. That’s just being lazy!
Alot of this conversation is -about laziness, lack of self discipline and the lack establishment of good daily habits but we don’t want to talk about these things. If you think you’re opening a can of worms talking about people wearing bonnets, try bringing up something that might be under it ... that L word (lazy) and it’ll be war.
Sorry, but showing up not ready for a date in your pajamas is disrespectful of the date's time. The assumption is he came to pick up on time.
As someone who used to do something similar, I totally agree and sorry for not realizing it was self defeating.
Have no idea why people would have a problem with what she said. And even if you disagree no need to be disrespectful which proves her point. If you respect yourself and your people you represent. We should not follow white people. We set the tone. Who really finds saggin okay at this point. It's difficult to overcome white supremacy and your own people. There's a balance.
I'm a 36yo Black man with locs down my back, living in Montana. People will see us how the see.
People have been so disrespectful. Monique was speaking truth with Love. So did I Prof Karen, always a slip and clean underclothes! Hair pressed to the nine.
Very interesting conversation. I agree with Monique and it needed to be said but I also agree it was performative. Sometimes it is hard to take a good look at ourselves and address ugly truths.
Hi Ladies, I totally agree with Monique. In this oh so judge a book by it's cover era that we live in. Monique was talking about pride in ones self and standards. How we carry ourselves. If we want people who we don't even know are observing us, never mind those acquaintances you bump in to, to think positively of you, then people will make assumptions about the character who appears not to care about their appearance. Couldn't even make an effort. To a certain extent, it demonstrates self discipline. Appearances have consequences. Consciously or unconsciously, people make judgements based on appearance. If that is not the case, why do most people going for a job interview make an effort with their appearnce?I
Love you Karen
It's about self pride and loving & respecting yourself
How did we get to a place where Black people no longer respect our elders....this is dangerous.
When my best friend got married, I had my hair done by my stylist and then pinned it up under a turban head wrap. I wasn't taking a chance on having her stylist jack up my hair. I am thinking that when you see a group of women traveling together wearing bonnets that the might all be going to a special event like a wedding or anniversary. It is true that no matter how we show up that we are judged which is why so many of us take the idgaf attitude. As for me, idgaf what they think of me but I do care what I think of myself, what my parents think, etc... I take pride in my appearance and will not wear pj's or bonnets in public.
I love Tanya!!!! Karen has a scarf on right now and is working. The point is....other people cannot determine for a person what is respectable. I am Gen X... I grew up with the strict standards and women who did all these things. I am grateful for their work and contribution but I am ready for the time when the old and young work together and not against one another. I loved this conversation and how different perspectives were handled. That is what is lacking from Mo’s narratives. Being an elder does not make one right all the time and I say that as a woman entering that phase of life myself. We are still learning. There are older women who would take issue with things Mo says and wears. We have to allow people to grow at their rate and encourage, not proclaim, as well as listen. I am thankful and receive the most from women who do that with me. Enjoyed the conversation!
Please dont compare Karen's scarves to a bonnet. MoNique was specifically taking about Bonnets and house slippers not short hair or natural hair or African head scarves or hijabs or hats, or caps, but bonnets . Some people are comfortable leaving the house the way they woke up out of bed.
finally MoNique did try to work with the particular group at hand she didn't bash them, shame them , or judge them, she simply said to have more respect for your look by not wearing bedroom clothing to the airport. if the older generation can't give some positive criticism on how to do things better, how do we expect the older generation to lead or work together with the young . there's no working together if the moment something is said it's you don't know nothing, you wealthy, and shut up.
We "older folks" are in place on commissions, public officials, union officers, ceos, teachers, preachers,etc..., and need to be doing our inside job, helping set these young people up for their futures...
Be interesting if you interviewed Mo'nique 🤔
I just flew for the first time in a number of years and I did notice that white and black young people dress very casual and relaxed. Black girls may wear bonnets and fuzzy slippers and white girls are wearing the leggings and tshirts. I think a lot of airport travel is about comfort honestly. Now if we talking about day to day then I feel that is a different argument to be had. I do wish someone who speak up on men wear their pants off their tails....and unfortunately it’s not just reserved for the young guys
I Amen Ms. Tonya tell em open them up so them black youngling can truly THRIVE ,conquer and triumph you must challenge the chains
I agree with Ms. Tanya about the bonnets. Respectability politics will not save us nor will collective shame. I do believe this is a moment were we should question and investigate how we are socialized and the consequences of shame.
So in terms of Mo'Nique's response, her touching retelling of the concern shown and advice given to her by Patti 25 years ago (who she did not know), and how that encounter changed the direction of her career and as stated her life. I find It doubly ironic she did not appreciate the concern of, or have any interest in listening to advice from Oprah 10+ years ago (who she does know) in that moment she all but told her "mind your business".
My thoughts, also 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
“She was extra” 🤣🤣🤣
Now we need someone to address the young black men..I love hip-hop but pants hanging where i can see your underwear is embarrassing..
I agree with you men need to pull they pants up and wear a belt it looks horrible seeing they boxers.
Yes! I remember the slip!
Ask yourselves, do they see us. We are showing up in our best and we are still being killed unjustly. Leave young people alone I love that they are free thinkers.
Yes!! We are each other’s reminders of ourselves. We take care of each other.
This was a great conversation!
Karen, point! "raised in a generation where grandparents just want to be your friend" I receive that! However, the older generation sees it different I get that too!
Tonya would have been left at home in her pajamas. She didn't respect the guy's time, so he should have failed her and her test.
Well, based on today's "standards", why waste time getting "dressed"? She should have "kept it real" and left with her date, crusty eyes, PJ'S and all.
a bonnet ain't nothing but a head covering. I'm not tapping anyone on the shoulder who ain't bothering, disturbing, hurting, or mistreating someone. Fashion is fluid and always evolving and more importantly it is subjective
Those are my thoughts as well and I'm a year older than Monique. I wouldn't give a damn if men are at the airport with doo rags.
My personal expectation for myself is that I will never go out dressed like I just rolled out of bed. Early flight or late flight. I’m going to look presentable. Leave Mo alone.
Love you sisters..Be YOURSELF.. MOTHER NATURE takes care of her VESSELS. B1 FBA. POW..MAAT
I love Tanyas FREEDOM it’s so so powerful there you go Karen always listening and carrying out LIGHT yes yes!!
Yes Tanya Pinket was saying something that we were prepared to receive!!! Loved this exchange of thoughts and opinions on this subject of Monique’s advice to Black women looking like something the cat dragged home. Lol 😂 yes I said it!! Lol 😆 EVERYONE is correct in this dialogue and we ALL have the right to voice ourselves. We ALL should learn to respect that right to voice our opinions and learn to hear each other’s voices and opinions without feeling the need to disrespect and verbally attack someone for expressing this right. Our ancestors, Black women especially worked hard, even died to give our younger generations this very right of free speech. Let’s not minimize and take this for granted for one second. Let’s not try to silence anyone especially each other as Black women, we must do better.
Why in the world do people always get trashed for speaking the truth? Monique was not saying anything out of term. This generation of folk are really sensitive.
Because a hit dog will holler. They like to holler “ black ppl need to come together” but many Black ppl can’t take constructive criticism.
FYI, I love Monique. I understand where she's coming from. But the sister Tanya makes a good point. My auntie used to say we shouldn't air our dirty laundry in public. And we know some people feed off black stereotypes our battles are multifaceted And we have to act accordingly.
The same people wearing pajamas, slippers and a bonnet or pants hanging off are the same ones crying discrimination if they don't get upgraded to first class if others around them do who are dressed like they left the house.
There is a whole industry of leisurewear that broaches the gap between presentability and comfort. Wear that! No, we don't need a full beat or Sunday Best, but please have SOME pride in your appearance. We don't have to self level to the lowest point of effort, no matter who else is doing it.
It's bad enough seeing that low level look at schools, shops or hairdressers/barbers, I really don't need to see it on the first leg of my holiday.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Our spirit hasn't caught up with our freedom 🙌🏽
I think Mo'Nique is right to be the auntie 'getting in our young sisters' business'!!
She brings to mind what a great sister, Ella Baker, reminded us to do "lift as you climb"! Without those aunties lifting us as they climbed, where would we be? Right on, Auntie Mo'Nique!!!💯
Respectability Politics: ABSOLUTELY NOT! Self-pride and representing Black visual culture and creativity: YES! I'm not centering white folks or looking for acceptance - theirs or anyone else's - when I dress. I am centering myself, my culture, my ancestors, and the pride that I feel when representing us. The Senegalese are the best dressed, most elegant people on the earth. Their fashion revolves around beauty, culture, religion, and personal pride. Taking my cues and lessons from the best. #mybonnetstaysinthebedroom
Oh please with the Senegalese people 🙄 I bet you they aren’t the best dressed ok. 🙄
@@C2G2 we all are entitled to our own opinions and experiences.
Good advice never gets old and goes across the generations. Good advice is not always popular but you can't get offended when the older is giving advice to the younger. There is a power in proper presentation whether I'm going to the grocery store or on a job interview. Just because we have the freedom to do whatever we want doesn't mean it's good to do everything. Pj's and bonnets should be worn at home and not at airports just like bathing suits should be worn at a pool or beach and not in a restaurant..you get my point. There is a time and place for everything and this is not a outdated statement to the times, but this is wisdom. My opinion.
Monique addressed this issue as personally as possible. If she would have tapped anyone and pulled them aside, she may have been verbally attacked. Many of us lack self accountability and refuse to do better.
Pajamas and a bonnet in public is a no. It always will be. Periodt.
Our presentation gives others a perception of who we are!
Genius Is Authentic!👑😌🌠⛅
I don't know how to feel. I have worked for state government agencies that handed me a personal dress code which made me show up as a man. When I switched agencies and was allowed to show up business feminine, I was disappointed that a high level black woman was careless about her attire because she was breaking the glass ceiling.
Women arguing to wear bonnets in public is mind blowing. Women wearing bonnets and men wearing dresses. Damm we messed up
Great segment!!! I also see both sides.. although I think it’s important to put your best image forward because we don’t live in a vacuum. We live in a racist system, and In this system certain things are rewarded, but I think that’s what Karen was saying when she said the paradigm has shifted. A lot of us have done and do things because we were told to, which stemmed from assimilation and respectability politics.
We were forced by America/corporations to dress in the manners they deemed appropriate to elevate. Folks don’t necessarily need to do that or want to.. they are still winning dressing the ways they want.
Monique wasn’t speaking the “Facts” she was speaking her perspective and I think we are in an age where we can start to differentiate between the two. If you garner your respect based on how you look, then that is on you individually.
I think we should put more efforts in how we come out the house, but at the end of the day... If you are secure in yourself and how you present in the world no one else’s opinion matters.
I LOVE IT - Conductor Karen
Great segment ladies. I like the depth and the balance you had on the topic.
Actually Tanya was not balanced in this segment. She sounded as if Monique personally attacked her because everything she said regarding MoNique's statement was basically negative, even to go to the extent to say MoNique was shaming black women. Tanya was not objective at all.
I can't believe we are actually having a debate on wearing something presentable!! Like. are we on Sesame Street here?? Lo
I agree, here's my perspective, I'm handicapped use one hand can't do my own hair, my aide come to work with headrag on her head, I tell her take that off ur head we not going into bank like we just roll out bed. Be grateful to b able to do ur own hair, ladies wear a cute cap instead of head rag, I was same way n college n my twenties n the 90's, tell my girl u can't go n mall with me wearing head rag I hate it! Proff u right about that slip
Tonya Pinkins. What freedom looks like. Great conversation.
I am 64, I'm from leave your house suited and booted. I am niqabi now have been for years. I love this conversation. Dress for as much sex as you can handle> --I love it. The very next time someone ask me why I am in niqab they are going to get that answer. I can't handle any. Zero. Love this. Thanks sis. keep up the excellent work.
My momma always taught her kids how to dress with and for success.The problem with most black people is waiting for white people to varify them.
Professor Karen, growing up Black girls called me nappy headed all the time because all I wore was a pony tail and I wore that pony tail many many years. In my early thirties I shaved my head and sometimes let it grow to a short natural length and now I shaved my head again and I feel closest to God with my head shaven. My problem with the Sisters wearing head bonnets is I don't ever what my Sisters to let themselves go and don't ever want my Sisters to give up on themselves EVER. We are so beautiful anyway as women, Professor Karen look how long it took us as women to look at each other with this much love, I speak from a place of want my sisters to walk in their divinity, not for the White gaze and White approval, I don't give a damn about White approval I do give a damn about my Sisters showing up in all their completeness and divinity. Thank you Professor Karen and if you will allow me to address you as not only Professor Karen but Sister Karen also.