Joseph adopted Jesus. Imagine marrying a virgin and he was always excited about their wedding and making beautiful babies. My 20 year old daughter is from my ex, and I remember when her boyfriend called me and asked if we are at her grandparents house. The phone was on speaker. My mother in-law almost cried with joy simply because her granddaughter's boyfriend refers to them as grandparents. My husband adopted her when she turned 18 and they are all happy to see that she carries their names. I couldn't give my husband a child because of an enlarged uterus which led to a heavy monthly cycle that made me just do a partial hysterectomy. My ovaries and cervix are still intact. I still ovulate but no periods. My daughter doesn't even want to see her biological father who is Jamaican and my husband is German. Europeans don't care whether a child is biologically theirs or not
I strongly hate that word “Bastard child” An innocent child should never be referred to as a bastard because the “Bastard adults” who decided to procreate recklessly should be referred to as that. Not an innocent child, who had no choice in deciding to be born or not. And regarding to the topic, hmmm. If the girl wishes to have kids why not divorce and be able to have the freedom of having kids especially since the husband has made it clear that he’s okay being child-less. Also, since they’re not open to all other options. It only makes sense. 🤷🏾♀️ Good-luck in your decisions.❣️ A good fundamental rule of life is to always put yourself in someone’s shoes before making a feedback. Hence, my view on the topic. I too know myself. Anything stress has never been part of my name.
My sister we are in the same whatsapp group, I hate stress especially if there is a solution. Just end the marriage let everybody go their way he is the infertile one not me, why should I stress myself over another woman's son, he is not my son.
"If it is a deal-breaker then, let us break the deal". Kawai! Powerful, sensible and graceful conversation. I love you both jare! Thanks for the breath of fresh air.
I have a personal experience with some issues, one if I was the woman I would deal with the matter with my husband only because I'm the one to carry, give birth to the baby and still take care of the baby after once. If the both of us cannot come to an agreement then it is better for everyone to go their separate ways and face their problems individually. What I have learnt in this life you should never sacrifice too much for people who are not worth it.
Omoni.....So intelligent, thoughtful 👌....It's important to always look at things from other people's perspectives. This simply eliminates being judgemental.
This has been my best episode so far. Omoni was perfect for this topic. I pray God gives the lady in question the wisdom to make the best choice in this matter.
May God free us from the shackles of limiting belief because why a mother will say their other son should father a child for another brother is beyond me. We all pray for our own child but we know that sadly, it won't happen for everyone. God please bless us all with children that will be the coolness of our eyes
Ife.. You're doing a great job. Thank you. ❤ I enjoyed watching this because this is my field My little suggestions 1. How many clinics have they had IVF done? Several failed attempt is expected because of oligospermia case but it's not impossible for him to father a child. Try other clinics. Seek some other doctor's advice. 2. Is the woman young enough to use her eggs? If yes! Keep trying. You can have a Donor egg backup in your next treatment. That can be another chance to have yours (at least that's better than your brother-in-law's). 3. Your in-law has all the right to claim his baby anytime as it's his. But have they confirmed if he is fertile, don't let his age deceive you. In a nutshell, please don't settle for in-law's sperm yet, you can still try your husband's. I have worked with several oligospermia cases that have their children today. God is within you. He shall help you sis. Much loveee ❤❤❤❤❤
This is soo educating. Beautiful woman sharing knowledge. Aunty just raised my love for her to another level. Grammar shop knockle...you over get wisdom.
I think the first question should be ‘what makes a child a BASTARD?’ If this definition is ‘a child who is not for the man of the house’, then I think the brother’s child will be equally A BASTARD. But a child should not be referred to as a bastard if both parties have a mutual agreement before the child is brought in. In my opinion, there is no abomination anywhere. They’re only trying to cover the shame in the family.
I worked in an IVF clinic for sometime and it's actually true that the younger brother can claim the child later. And because they are family they won't make legal documents.
Very interesting, I didn't want it to end. The man can still father a child if it's an oligospermia case,even in few azospermia cases they father children via IVF techniques(tissues can be taken from the mans testes and if successful sperm can be gotten) . The couple really need to speak with a Fertility expert.The husband is selfish for making such decision without speaking with his wife.Well done Ife!
Not necessarily so. It depends on the level and nature of oligospermia. As well as the cause of the azoospermia. Ultimately, though they need a medical review.
Thank you Omoni I will put some of your words when it gets to me. I'm a mum of boys too. And sure my husband is also open to adoption but running away from the baby duties 😅just like yours. May still go for adoption when I'm completely convinced. Funny same age as you but my boys are still some years behind. Kudos. Nice discussion 😊
Hi Ife, some tribe actually welcomes it. Especially Igbo but the cases I know are when the man dies without having children and then his brother sleeps with his wife to give birth to children for her late husband/brother. May be that’s what they want to do there.Either way, the Lady might have to pick her battle, get the sperm from the brother, leave the marriage, or remain childless. She has to choose herself because as we speak nobody there has her best interest at heart. I even feel that the brother-in-law might not be aware, you know how some families are controlling.
Mother in-laws, please stay away from your children's affairs. Whenever they seek your opinion, sometimes, leave them to decide. These children weren't there when you made decisions with your husbands. African MILs Sha. Thank God for my parents oOoOO... Wetin concern my mama with daughter in-law. She no kuku send any of us... It's your life. As far as you both are happy. She is happy too
YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! Madam 12:30 jollof rice inside new Benin market. With all the round about, shaki, kpomo, liver, Chai all wrapped in the moimoi leave. Omienmien of life😋😋😋
Love listening to Ife. I truly believe that men who listen to you will have emotional intelligence. Can you please start your own live dating show, you'll have lots of quality and educated people 😊😊. Help your sisters 😅
Ife , for them to all agree the brother donate sperm means they do not want the child tied to him and that validates the covenant they all entered, his manhood is the family wealth and they do not want any stranger to inherit it.
Oligospermia is a health issue that can be reversed if the underlying issue is understood and treated. If not, he can still father a child with Oligospermia through IUI or IVF knowing fully well that he is opposed to adoption. Having is child using his brother's sperm is going overboard.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching this episode! Well done IFE! And oh! Omoni Oboli is beautiful and she's got such an interesting and honest mindset about the Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law relationship. Here for it! ❤
No one is considering the child mental health, When he grows up to find out that his uncle is actually his dad and his dad is actually his uncle. The child will suffer more.😢
15:19 I genuinely think that the reason the mother in law hasn't interfered so far is because her son is the one with the challenge and if it was the other way around, she would be a whole lot more vocal. Especially because she knows she has her son tied to her apron string.
For my understanding and experience. The meddling of in-laws lies in the hand of their son or daughter. It’s what you allow or let out that people know. If you don’t bring people in your business, they won’t have the audacity to meddle. Couples need to learn to fix the cracks in their homes from the inside not outside.
Exactly. Although I also think, this kind of issue that has to do with children will somehow concern the family one way or the other. Especially after 11 whole years. The MIL may have been worrying over the issue of having grandchildren and may also have been thinking it's the DIL fault. So at the point where they know the problem and way forward, they may as well let her know.
I love the way Omoni Oboli dissected the issue and used her experience to explain from her own perspective. If the table was turned, will the MIL be kind to her? I love this question Omoni raised. The man and his family are being selfish with their request. Let the woman ask the questions Omoni raised at the end and know if it's time to break the deal. Overall, the conversation was wholesome. ❤
The baby is now child to the donor and nephew/niece to the 'father' .. that's so weird.. how is this even up for discussion?? My goodness.. I feel really bad for the woman.. the man should have just let the matter remain with jus he and his wife.. everyone would just see she's pregnant and do not have to know the details... Omo!
You see this issue, I can relate well to it. I totally agreed with what Omoni is saying. Anyhow you look at it, it’s her in-laws child and trust me she is inviting wahala for herself
The mother never interfered because the problem has always been the son . If it was the woman’s problem for the childlessness she would have interfered. The man need to stand up for his family.
Just watching this, i feel the family knew about the issue but were waiting for her to find out before they suggest what they're suggesting. Otherwise why would there be no interference for a whole 11 years then all of a sudden they want to be the decision makers???? 🤔
Option 1: speak with her husband and express herself and disappointed with all these “setup” and her willingness to having a child by a donor and not her brother-in-law. If after everything, he doesn’t see reasons and she wants the marriage so badly, then Option 2 kicks in. Option 2: She should agree with them and collect the sperm but go ahead to use sperm from the sperm bank. That’s way, everybody is happy and if brother wants to move mad in future, we blow everything open and I choose me as you have and always chose yourself
In my opinion there is no option 2, make she no be the one that will receive the shocker in few yrs time. The family will definitely use their own doctor and hospital.
I have heard a lot of that story, there is something about adopting a child with your whole heart that opens a woman’s womb, attracts more babies into the family.
The lady is the one doing the family a favor, so it should be on her terms and not that of the family. This is pure injustice and manipulation. The lady should get a donor and ignore them, they should tell the world the baby is from a donor, then she should tell the world. Yeye people
I don't think the mother in law was the problem. The husband was too cowardly to tell her himself. Plus,he is very self centered, he would prefer to remain childless? He just made that decision on his own without consulting his wife(the other person that decision would affect!)
Omoni Oboli is so graceful. It’s amazing how she listened without reacting till Ife finished.
Thats a skill that can be learnt. Its ACTIVE LISTENING, I love it too
Very commendable ❤ it is a gift.
Christians who know the Bible know that God loves adoption, He adopts us as His children!💖💖💖
The family need Stand of Fire tbh
*Altar
Gbam!
Joseph adopted Jesus. Imagine marrying a virgin and he was always excited about their wedding and making beautiful babies. My 20 year old daughter is from my ex, and I remember when her boyfriend called me and asked if we are at her grandparents house. The phone was on speaker. My mother in-law almost cried with joy simply because her granddaughter's boyfriend refers to them as grandparents. My husband adopted her when she turned 18 and they are all happy to see that she carries their names. I couldn't give my husband a child because of an enlarged uterus which led to a heavy monthly cycle that made me just do a partial hysterectomy. My ovaries and cervix are still intact. I still ovulate but no periods. My daughter doesn't even want to see her biological father who is Jamaican and my husband is German. Europeans don't care whether a child is biologically theirs or not
Omoni is very eloquent and emotionally intelligent
Emotionally intelligent 📌📍
My respect for Omoli just went up ❤❤❤❤she is so beautiful and gracious
I strongly hate that word “Bastard child” An innocent child should never be referred to as a bastard because the “Bastard adults” who decided to procreate recklessly should be referred to as that.
Not an innocent child, who had no choice in deciding to be born or not.
And regarding to the topic, hmmm. If the girl wishes to have kids why not divorce and be able to have the freedom of having kids especially since the husband has made it clear that he’s okay being child-less. Also, since they’re not open to all other options. It only makes sense. 🤷🏾♀️
Good-luck in your decisions.❣️
A good fundamental rule of life is to always put yourself in someone’s shoes before making a feedback. Hence, my view on the topic. I too know myself. Anything stress has never been part of my name.
What's even the guarantee that this 20 years old doesn't have oligospermia, too? What about surrogacy? That's another option
You're 💯 right in everything you said
My sister we are in the same whatsapp group, I hate stress especially if there is a solution. Just end the marriage let everybody go their way he is the infertile one not me, why should I stress myself over another woman's son, he is not my son.
A bastard child simply means a child borne to unmarried parents. Don’t over-complicate it in your mind.
"If it is a deal-breaker then, let us break the deal". Kawai! Powerful, sensible and graceful conversation. I love you both jare! Thanks for the breath of fresh air.
Omoni Oboli spitting facts, hello from a fellow young mother in law 😊
If it is a deal breaker, let's break the deal!
Women should learn how not to interfere in their children's marriages. Well done Ife and Omoni👏
Well,the children should first of all start being adults by not involving their Parents
I have a personal experience with some issues, one if I was the woman I would deal with the matter with my husband only because I'm the one to carry, give birth to the baby and still take care of the baby after once. If the both of us cannot come to an agreement then it is better for everyone to go their separate ways and face their problems individually. What I have learnt in this life you should never sacrifice too much for people who are not worth it.
last last everybody will be alright, the family is clearly selfish. Just share garri let everybody go
Omoni Oboli never disappoints, so graceful
Omoni Oboli is an elegant graceful Queen. She’s everything a lady should be.
Omoni.....So intelligent, thoughtful 👌....It's important to always look at things from other people's perspectives. This simply eliminates being judgemental.
It's how sweet Omoni is, such a true sayer from a pure heart❤ Love you always ma'am
This has been my best episode so far. Omoni was perfect for this topic. I pray God gives the lady in question the wisdom to make the best choice in this matter.
I love Omoni's pidgin... So smooth and the switch too from fluent English to pidgin was so soothing to my ears and did made me blush
Good conversation,thanks to omoni for saying everything as it should ❤
Awww I enjoyed this episode.
Thank you Omoni for gracing our screens ❤
Thank you Ife for being the realest ❤
Take the crown Queen
Omoni Oboli is so sweet ❤
Omoni is so classic. Felt her facial reactions. Also, indeed the “abomination” situation looks very fishy.
I love this interview like mad...
Omoni is so well-spoken. Love her views on all of the issues that were tabled.
May God free us from the shackles of limiting belief because why a mother will say their other son should father a child for another brother is beyond me. We all pray for our own child but we know that sadly, it won't happen for everyone. God please bless us all with children that will be the coolness of our eyes
I just didn’t want this episode to end. Is it just me? 😊
Even me too😅
Ife.. You're doing a great job. Thank you. ❤
I enjoyed watching this because this is my field
My little suggestions
1. How many clinics have they had IVF done? Several failed attempt is expected because of oligospermia case but it's not impossible for him to father a child. Try other clinics. Seek some other doctor's advice.
2. Is the woman young enough to use her eggs? If yes! Keep trying. You can have a Donor egg backup in your next treatment. That can be another chance to have yours (at least that's better than your brother-in-law's).
3. Your in-law has all the right to claim his baby anytime as it's his. But have they confirmed if he is fertile, don't let his age deceive you.
In a nutshell, please don't settle for in-law's sperm yet, you can still try your husband's. I have worked with several oligospermia cases that have their children today.
God is within you. He shall help you sis.
Much loveee ❤❤❤❤❤
dont mind them just because he is young doesnt mean he is fertile. As if infertile only affect the older people
Omoni!!! Such beautiful eyes and composure, very demure and mindful. A queen I Stan!!❤
Omoni was spot on with her comments..Well done Ife ❤❤
The host should all the guests talk a d stop interrupting
Thank you
I love the show
OMONI OBOLI IS SO GRACEFUL, I MUSTR CONFESS
Omoni is as blunt as I am….. That is her brother’s child. Periodtttt!!!
Lovely episode, Omoni is so wise ❤
I just started watching & I had goosebumps when Madam Omoni was talking about the Dang community 😫😍😍😍
Omoni may your days be long.
Best episode yet. Fully focused on addressing the issue honestly and freely. Well done
This!
Ive always loved and respected Omoni but it might just have tripled.
Such a nice and kind person ❤️❤️❤️
This is soo educating. Beautiful woman sharing knowledge.
Aunty just raised my love for her to another level. Grammar shop knockle...you over get wisdom.
Mr man, you cannot bring a child into the world yet you call another child a bastard! Sis choose yourself in all of this. May God give you wisdom.
the audacity of a childless person calling God's creation a bastard. Overfeeding is worrying that family.
Aunty Hilda is one amazing Veteran I loved her movies years back ❤
She can cry for Africa😂
I think the first question should be ‘what makes a child a BASTARD?’
If this definition is ‘a child who is not for the man of the house’, then I think the brother’s child will be equally A BASTARD. But a child should not be referred to as a bastard if both parties have a mutual agreement before the child is brought in.
In my opinion, there is no abomination anywhere. They’re only trying to cover the shame in the family.
I worked in an IVF clinic for sometime and it's actually true that the younger brother can claim the child later. And because they are family they won't make legal documents.
I was curious when I saw the topic and I must say it's So interesting and eye opening. Thank you Ife and God bless you
I hope the person heard the questions raised at the end, very serious questions. Above all when in doubt, go to God and love yourself
I love the point where she said at the end of the day, we have to be kind.
That summarizes everything
I totally agree with Ife and Glamma Omoni's takes on the topic.
👏👏 I love Gen z GRAnny (@Omoni Oboli) but please IFE stop interrupting your guest.
This conversation is awesome! 🎉.
I learned and unlearned alot.
Omoni is so graceful.
My auntie Omoney is here💕
Well done Ife, well done Omoni. You were both amazing on this topic 🎉🎉🎉❤❤
Very interesting, I didn't want it to end. The man can still father a child if it's an oligospermia case,even in few azospermia cases they father children via IVF techniques(tissues can be taken from the mans testes and if successful sperm can be gotten) . The couple really need to speak with a Fertility expert.The husband is selfish for making such decision without speaking with his wife.Well done Ife!
She already stated that they’ve had failed IVF cycles. These procedures are not black and white
Failure rate is high as seen in this case.
Not necessarily so. It depends on the level and nature of oligospermia.
As well as the cause of the azoospermia.
Ultimately, though they need a medical review.
The new Benin story😂Uniben Alumni here❤️I could watch you talk all day, so refreshing
I like the fact that you pointed this out " that we have to understand that people chose themselves first "
Ma'am Omoni,I appreciate you this advice much love ma.
Thank you Omoni I will put some of your words when it gets to me. I'm a mum of boys too. And sure my husband is also open to adoption but running away from the baby duties 😅just like yours. May still go for adoption when I'm completely convinced. Funny same age as you but my boys are still some years behind. Kudos. Nice discussion 😊
Hi Ife, some tribe actually welcomes it. Especially Igbo but the cases I know are when the man dies without having children and then his brother sleeps with his wife to give birth to children for her late husband/brother. May be that’s what they want to do there.Either way, the Lady might have to pick her battle, get the sperm from the brother, leave the marriage, or remain childless. She has to choose herself because as we speak nobody there has her best interest at heart. I even feel that the brother-in-law might not be aware, you know how some families are controlling.
Mother in-laws, please stay away from your children's affairs. Whenever they seek your opinion, sometimes, leave them to decide. These children weren't there when you made decisions with your husbands. African MILs Sha. Thank God for my parents oOoOO...
Wetin concern my mama with daughter in-law. She no kuku send any of us... It's your life. As far as you both are happy. She is happy too
I'm so glued to this episode. First time watching dang ❤
YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! Madam 12:30 jollof rice inside new Benin market. With all the round about, shaki, kpomo, liver, Chai all wrapped in the moimoi leave. Omienmien of life😋😋😋
Catchy intro. Well done!
Omoni has my heart... much love Ife for talking about the difficult things❤
Love listening to Ife. I truly believe that men who listen to you will have emotional intelligence. Can you please start your own live dating show, you'll have lots of quality and educated people 😊😊. Help your sisters 😅
Live dating show ke, that is a lot
Ife , for them to all agree the brother donate sperm means they do not want the child tied to him and that validates the covenant they all entered, his manhood is the family wealth and they do not want any stranger to inherit it.
Another angle
Deep!!! Family secrets hmmm
I just love Omoni. She's a sweet soul.
Oligospermia is a health issue that can be reversed if the underlying issue is understood and treated. If not, he can still father a child with Oligospermia through IUI or IVF knowing fully well that he is opposed to adoption. Having is child using his brother's sperm is going overboard.
This is such a wholesome Conversation ❤❤❤
I thoroughly enjoyed watching this episode! Well done IFE! And oh! Omoni Oboli is beautiful and she's got such an interesting and honest mindset about the Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law relationship. Here for it! ❤
Lovely advice for omoni👏👏👏
I love omonj listening to her is refreshing
Things women go through all in the name of marriage 😢 it is well
No one is considering the child mental health, When he grows up to find out that his uncle is actually his dad and his dad is actually his uncle. The child will suffer more.😢
Like … you get 😢
I will definitely adopt a little girl in the future
15:19 I genuinely think that the reason the mother in law hasn't interfered so far is because her son is the one with the challenge and if it was the other way around, she would be a whole lot more vocal. Especially because she knows she has her son tied to her apron string.
Just the comment I was looking for 💯👌👍📌
She should also be careful oo, let them not drug her and carry out their intention.
Yes ooooooo...Very important
I swear ooh…
Just like the French woman “Gisèle Pelicot”
For my understanding and experience. The meddling of in-laws lies in the hand of their son or daughter. It’s what you allow or let out that people know. If you don’t bring people in your business, they won’t have the audacity to meddle. Couples need to learn to fix the cracks in their homes from the inside not outside.
You're so right
Exactly. Although I also think, this kind of issue that has to do with children will somehow concern the family one way or the other. Especially after 11 whole years. The MIL may have been worrying over the issue of having grandchildren and may also have been thinking it's the DIL fault. So at the point where they know the problem and way forward, they may as well let her know.
That true how you give them the power based on how you interact or deal with certain issues when it arises
At the end of the day, the child will not be hers but the family child.
Exactly not hers but the family
Exactly, like wtf
Exactly
My thought exactly
I love the way Omoni Oboli dissected the issue and used her experience to explain from her own perspective.
If the table was turned, will the MIL be kind to her? I love this question Omoni raised.
The man and his family are being selfish with their request. Let the woman ask the questions Omoni raised at the end and know if it's time to break the deal.
Overall, the conversation was wholesome. ❤
The baby is now child to the donor and nephew/niece to the 'father' .. that's so weird.. how is this even up for discussion?? My goodness.. I feel really bad for the woman.. the man should have just let the matter remain with jus he and his wife.. everyone would just see she's pregnant and do not have to know the details... Omo!
That kind of man won’t be able to keep that kind of secret arrangement within himself and his wife oo he go still tell his mama
Omoni is so wise and graceful ❤❤a very beautiful woman inside and out ❤
You see this issue, I can relate well to it. I totally agreed with what Omoni is saying. Anyhow you look at it, it’s her in-laws child and trust me she is inviting wahala for herself
The mother never interfered because the problem has always been the son . If it was the woman’s problem for the childlessness she would have interfered. The man need to stand up for his family.
Two beautiful women 😍😍. I enjoyed everything about this conversation.
Please invite Bimbo Ademoye 🙏🏿😭😭😭
Hmmm.....then if in future the young boy doesnt have a child, he will come for his child with his older brother..
God forbid bad thing o!
This is the issue! And the matter go long. The pikin sef fo wan mad, because the kind confusion wey go dey ehn
Omoni speak the facts 💯
Just watching this, i feel the family knew about the issue but were waiting for her to find out before they suggest what they're suggesting. Otherwise why would there be no interference for a whole 11 years then all of a sudden they want to be the decision makers???? 🤔
We should probably tell my mother too
Let's have a round table meeting about it😢
with spicy pepper soup.
Perfect response ❤ omoni is wise
Let’s break the deal Biko😂
The same way she invited you to lunch, invite her to dinner and politely/gracefully ask her to sit out decision making in your house 😊
Love the intro!
16:50 is how everyone else should be reasoning but no, we don't put ourselves in others shoe.
Option 1: speak with her husband and express herself and disappointed with all these “setup” and her willingness to having a child by a donor and not her brother-in-law.
If after everything, he doesn’t see reasons and she wants the marriage so badly, then Option 2 kicks in.
Option 2: She should agree with them and collect the sperm but go ahead to use sperm from the sperm bank. That’s way, everybody is happy and if brother wants to move mad in future, we blow everything open and I choose me as you have and always chose yourself
In my opinion there is no option 2, make she no be the one that will receive the shocker in few yrs time. The family will definitely use their own doctor and hospital.
I have heard a lot of that story, there is something about adopting a child with your whole heart that opens a woman’s womb, attracts more babies into the family.
The lady is the one doing the family a favor, so it should be on her terms and not that of the family. This is pure injustice and manipulation.
The lady should get a donor and ignore them, they should tell the world the baby is from a donor, then she should tell the world. Yeye people
I don't think the mother in law was the problem.
The husband was too cowardly to tell her himself. Plus,he is very self centered, he would prefer to remain childless? He just made that decision on his own without consulting his wife(the other person that decision would affect!)
Love this show ❤
Ife...u have said it all.
If it was the woman ,will he say that?
Grandmother to be 🤔
That means this video has been shot a long time ago. I hope the woman has sorted herself out of that miserable family 😢
Emotional intelligence 👌👌👌
Awwwn, I attended Uniben too❤❤❤