When Your Spouse Has OCD
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- Опубликовано: 13 апр 2023
- How do you navigate a healthy marriage when one or both of you has obsessive-compulsive struggles? In this broadcast, we share a bit of our journey and process in learning to grow in marriage, while also navigating the struggle of OCD.
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Disclaimer: The content published is for informational purposes. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our material.
The resources given are not designed to practice medicine or give professional medical advice, including, without limitation, medical direction concerning someone's medical and mental health. Any resources given are not to be considered complete and does not cover all issues related to mental and physical health. In addition, any information given should not replace consultation with your doctor or any other mental health providers and/or specialists.
It’s great to see two self aware and humble people heal, learn, and grow closer. That is what I always wanted in my marriage. But it takes two.
Hi, Mark and Melissa. My name is Leigha (Leah) from Texas. You both are so helpful to me and I want you to know I appreciate you so very much! It is truly all about the love and grace of God through Jesus Christ! I've struggled with Religious OCD since I was 26 years old and I'm 36 now. I grew up in the Independent Fundamental Baptist church (VERY spiritually harsh and abusive/legalistic) and developed OCD in my journey to find salvation. (Well, if you're doing ABC then you better check your salvation, or are you REALLY saved or is it just head knowledge?)Once I finally understood the gospel after 6 years of struggling, I'm now on the journey of OCD healing. I still have those patterns that are debilitating eventhough I believe now that Jesus accomplished my salvation. "Do I really trust in Christ or have I ever," is the theme. But your content has helped me so much to see the bigger picture. I feel as if I'm starting to learn what true love really is for the first time in my life and can rest.
❤ Love to hear this...
Good discussion but what if my wife's OCD is wearing me down? I'm tired of trying to understand, to work with her, when she's in denial. Like you said, the person suffering from OCD has their responsibility as well. I may have my issues as adult child of an alcoholic and whatever else, but boy have I tried to educate myself on OCD. Listened to hundreds of hours of youtube discussions, read books, been to couples therapists (with my wife). According to her I'm avoiding conversation when I'm trying to stop feeding her compulsive thoughts and never-ending discussions. Unfortunately soooooo many counselors, social workers and mental health professionals are clueless about OCD. Breaks my heart to say this but often I hate the situation we're in.
I can relate - it is wearing me down too except the ocd is from my husband…. 23yrs. Only realize the toll when he goes away and don’t have to be thinking about everything all the time. I think eventually we will have to live separately,,,
@@JoanneGuelke 💯 agree with the feeling of relief when seperate from the OCD person. I cherish my time at work, at my hobbies and with kids if the wife can find a way to be elsewhere. The past few years I've worked at being better with setting boundaries and that has helped tremendously. Still life as partner of someone with OCD can be tough as hell. We've been together only 11 years but you're not alone with thoughts of separation. So far I've been able to find good in life, make sure to take care of myself and see that my wife has the OCD condition but she's also the person I met and fell in love with 11 years ago.
@@liljemark1 it's really is about setting up an arrangement that is sustainable and for me that's figuring out ways to have more and more time apart. My mother-in-law was the same and I was able to figure out a way to enjoy her by limiting my visits to a day or 2 or inviting her to stay with us (it was worse in her own home and same with my husband). Getting a bit harder as he and I get older though because it's getting worse. And I have 4 rescue dogs which challenge his OCD even more. We get along so great when we're on different continents... He once said the world is so out of control and this is the one thing he tries to control but the times I make an effort to make things perfect for him, he'll always find something. So it's really an insatiable desire and something deeper. Good to keep focusing on why you fell in love with her though. I think we had a few too many family tragedies that grabbed out attention and 20yrs have gone by.
You’re not alone. I ran out of things to understand because getting help is out of the question because denial of actions and responsibilities and no accountability, which means I do 90% and my burden is more than I can bear as I’ve aged and give to much of myself away and she had the finances and wouldn’t give them up so I could manage better and take away the burden of the anxiety. So I let her have her way but we have squandered and never been able to discuss conflict let alone resolve them. So when I set boundaries she didn’t hear nor care. Of course that led to separation and then of course I just abandoned her and she is now a victim and has had no part in this. I have tried everything over the past twenty years since sons were born and realized her struggles and stubbornness. One person trying to break generational curses and be their best for their family welfare and one just avoiding life by buying stuff and watching tv. Then she went to drinking and destroyed her liver and life. Black or white, good or bad, hero or villain instead of just human. Validated till validated out. I pray for the Lord to restore us because at this point it will be a miracle of Christ. Love to all you who deal with this. Many know the burden, believe it was sent by the thief to steal and destroy. I just can’t live in a bubble and didn’t get married to be alone and abandoned and used. God it hurts…….
Mark and Melissa, I cannot even begin to tell you how valuable your ministry is to the body of Christ. Sharing your struggles so transparently through the lens of love is SO POWERFUL! What a perfect match you are together! Those intrusive interrupting thoughts as you minister only highlight the grace gift that flows through you powerfully. When you are weak, He is strong! The Gospel message shines forth so brightly through both of you. I am so grateful for your ministry. Thank you for walking in your calling!! God bless you both!
Thank you :)
Im in a mess of 100% enablement. Now it just verbal abuse unless I comply. there are no boundaries.
Love watching you guys dialog together! ❤ It seriously helps give me some new reference of healthy communication in marriage.
Thank you both for being so authentic and remaining open with your journeys. It's a much needed reminder to me that there is tremendous power in the simple act of being real and honest, as risky as it sometimes feels.
Melissa, I love your new look! It suits you so well❤
Learning from you guys is a highlight of my routine lately. Thanks for your vulnerability and teaching. Mucho respecto!
Love you guys ❤ another great conversation 🙌🏼
The point made at 14:09 is relieving. If my future wife has a struggle I would be open to learning about it so I can know how to best comfort her.
😂 that cover art is perfect
Jennifer, your consistent encouragement is amazing and such a blessing.
@@marktdejesus thank you both for being a blessing to so many 🥳💖
Precisely, Jennifer. 😂 I always look forward to the Friday chats and what the thumbnail will be this time. 🤣
Great video! I'm in a new relationship and we both need to hear this a few times.
😂😂😂Melissa😂😂😂"Whatever!" "I am being a brat and not doing the podcast." ❤
This is great, but. sometimes taking a break, is also not a bad thing, when needed.
I was the 100 th person to like this, rocky!!!
Missed the live catching up now! Melissa you look gorgeous ma’am 😃
Gosh! Thank you...You are so kind 😘
Hi there, I been spiraling quite a bit with anxieties. Im wondering how i can give my body a break and be more kind to myself. Cause my prayers arent even very senseible.
You mentioned adultery… how does one with OCD handle that? We’ve been doing marriage counseling and he’s been doing the homework, but my OCD feels like we haven’t made enough progress. How do I handle the spiraling when there has been trauma?
Hi Mark, thank you for this video. I have been going in circles about predestination. I wanted to ask for please a video on predestination. I have been hanging on to the scripture
"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." John 6:37. I am truly terrified and I know God's word is true. But how do I know. I deal with rejection issues. I am truly terrified and I hurt so much. Please help me
I wanted to add that how do I know God chose me. Does he want me. The thoughts I have been dealing with are saying God doesn't want me and more. I hurt so much. I need to know.
John Bunyan had severe religious OCD struggles and the verse you're citing was dear to him. He wrote a full book on that single verse: "Come and Welcome to Jesus Christ". I recommend that book wholeheartedly.
Now, I don't have OCD but I do understand and experience salvation struggles myself. Let me join you in clinging to John 6:37, even if we don't feel/experience the power in that text immediately. May God's Word be sufficient for us in our struggles 🙏
I’m laughing with you all lol. Brad Pitt is not masculine enough imo. I definitely understand the whole ocd though.
HAHA Thank you, that subject is tough but we want to be able to make it "not so tough"...