"He's just my tenant!" The guy renting the other half of her duplex, it caused a total disaster, he plotted, she let it happen. Then she was cheating on him with me. Mr. Karma allowed me to write him a note on her backside in red permeant marker. Ever see the old record album by Eric Clapton, "E C was here"? One of my favorite pictures!
It's true that some people try to rationalize that emotional cheating isn't really cheating because it isn't physical. First of all, it is Cheating and second, emotional cheating often leeds to physical cheating.
I agree with you 💯......A lot of my partners did emotionally and financially cheated on me..If you are watching this...... YOUR BUSTED! ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE IF YOU GOT CAUGHT! 🤬💔🤬💔
My g/f did this with some Snowflake at her work. She came clean, but since I am more intelligent than her, I already knew. I was actually hoping it would get physical so I could make a fool of them both. Luckily he was fired and I was saved from going to jail. There will never be trust between us again. I think I will now pursue an emotional affair with an old female friend. Living well is the best revenge. F*ck it.
Yep. Happened to me. I warned my wife repeatedly about going on to those blasted dating sites to look for a man for her friend or relative. They can do it themselves. She ended up becoming "friends" with one of them, and I kept trying to get her to stop talking to him because he wanted more than friends with her. He even said so, regardless that he knew she was married to me. She kept talking to him anyway, and it happened between with one of her unnecessary angry bouts with me. Yeah, she was just looking for an excuse to doit
Yep. My ex tried to pull that BS with me when he got caught. But he told on himself with his actions and the dumb replacement revealed herself on his birthday page, what I already knew.
Trust me, an emotional affair is just as damaging as a physical one. Be warned when a man tells you bs like "we are just friends." " I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad" that should be your first indication that what you are doing is inappropriate.
I found out my man has been going on lunch dates alone with women 😢. He always puts me on the backburner. Ive always been so supportive of him. I told him it bothers me that he does that and he said im jealous and insecure.
Finally! Someone who tells the truth about this male-female friendship dynamic. Men and women cannot be just platonic friends. And if a woman expresses her discomfort of such a situation to a man and he does nothing about it he does not love her.
This comment brought tears to my eyes. Just found out yesterday that after asking my husband years ago to respect his marriage enough to stop being do close to this coworker and communicating with her outside of work that he has spent years in a whole emotional affair with her. Even while I was pregnant recently. If he doesn't seem concerned about your discomfort he doesn't love you. This is such a hard pill to swallow but so true.
This ended what could have been a long lasting relationship. Ironically, his best "friend" is the ex-wife who divorced him. He tried to have us both hooked. I walked away from that sick sordid betrayal.
I hope this comment doesn't get too long .I was married twice; both wives had physical Affairs. That being the case, I also used to think that men and women could be friends and have platonic relationships-- but I don't believe that anymore.To me a male/ female friendship is a backup. You know the old line " he/she is just a friend".But if you start to have problems in your marriage, as every marriage has sooner or later ,that friendship can quickly become a sexual relationship in the blink of an eye. I remember when I got married one of the things the minister said was "love is a friendship that has caught fire".Well, when you have that fire smoldering in the background it doesn't take much to put some gasoline on it and it explodes.
@@sanyabari HI madam, i have a question on behalf of my friend, actually few months ago he read his wife's WhatsApp message which she have sent to another guy, it was just like a flirting messege , translation of that messege is" the guy whom you make feel jealous he is still respect you " and after typing that message few minutes later she deleted entire chat what does it mean, will it be consider as an affair or emotional affair , because once upon a Time my friends wife told my friend that there was a boy during her school time who used to like her and used to stare her , and she was talking about the same boy whom she sent a message, and when my friend asked her she refused and denied it directly, however now that boy is also married, please reply me what does it mean, because my friend is worried about it. Thank you.
@@ultimatewarrior1234 Hi. It’s not clear whether that’s cheating or not. Why don’t you email me at Sanya@SanyaBari.com im going to need more details. Im on New York time so there will be a time difference in the response
Thanks for this. I can't stand double standards. My wife was mad that I found out that she was talking to another guy off to the side, and of course I was at fault for not "giving her enough attention," therefore I forced her to do that. I tried to explain to her several times how it's wrong that she did it, and even tried to give the scenario of if the roles were reversed and I was still talking to someone I met years prior to us being together. Her response goes along the line of "that's fine, you can do that. You're a guy." Sounds rather misandristic. Her basis for all of it is over something I did years before we met, but it somehow affects her because of who it was. Regardless, it was before I even knew she existed! So she gets to do the same to me as "revenge". Even after all was said and done, and she supposedly stopped talking to this guy, I still see his number on her phone. She doesn't like me going through her phone. Well, I don't like you still talking to the guy you messed around with behind my back!
well if its ok for her to talk to other guys and have her side guys then i guess its ok for you to have your side girls. its ok for her to do it so it must be ok for you to do it too. this is the life she chose and this is the life she will get.
@@jRex918 I agree with you in principle, except I'm too self conscious to do something like that. Plus, I'm of the mind that two wrongs don't make a right. Just because she does it doesn't give me the right to do the same. I'll be leaving soon enough to go to Washington state, which will ultimately result in divorce, then she can talk to whoever she wants
@@Me2times sorry to hear about that. I think it's time to accept that monogamy and marriage do not work. So many married women have tried to cheat on their husband's by having an affair. Whether it be sexual, emotional, spiritual, etc. I think it's time to accept that monogamy marriage does not work.
It's truly remarkable how it's scenarios like this that would make an otherwise confident man, feel insecure. At which point his girlfriend or wife say his insecurity is a turn off. Never realizing she's creating the insecurity with her actions, I've always found that the only time I've ever felt jealous or insecure was always with women who I would come to find had another man in the picture and were doing something they shouldn't have been.
@@bencrow9497 You know buddy, after my ex and I broke up I realized something. I don't believe they are clueless to the gaslighting. My ex used to change her entire history because she realized on a conscious level that if people knew how she really acted, that no one would trust her.
Good on you, you called it out as it is. Just went through this. Because 300 text in a week is normal she said. she has 3 kids and did not send 30 text to all of them and myself combined... BUT ITS NORMAL. then comes the deflection, yo are just Jealous, Insecure, and you have trust issues...
It’s the inability to communicate with you, and the copious ability to communicate with the affair partner that is so hard to take. My husband called (probably still calls) his “work wife” multiple times a day, talks for 30 minutes at a time. He calls me, 1 minute, 2 minutes. Our phone bill reads like a damned tragedy.
Hung out everyday with him after talking to her friends about how attractive he is and drunkenly telling me she's "developing feelings for him.". Of course I got the "you're insecure" bullshit
NO! Because that opposite sex "friend" will become the shoulder to cry on when things hit a rough patch in the relationship/marriage and then the devil will open up all the doors to infidelity and an affair. You're playing with fire by having "friends" of the opposite sex in the confines of relationship/marriage. I don't care if this approach sounds old school or if haters try and say to me that "you're just an abusive, insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative person for doing this. Don't you trust your girlfriend/wife?" You bet I do, but I also know that very rarely does a man stay "friends" with a woman who he doesn't have feelings for. And worse of all I can't help but feel those opposite sex "friends" are just waiting in the wings licking their chops for their turns just hoping your relationship/marriage will fail. So you bet I see any of these opposite sex "friends" in the confines of a relationship/marriage as a threat. I'm about to hit my 30s and still waiting for God's timing to bless me with the wife he has in store for me in His time, but I for one will be making sure I have no other friends of the opposite sex in the picture at all except her. Can't risk any temptations like this. A Christian marriage needs to be guarded/defended like your life depends on it because it literally does. And that means sacrificing existing friendships with the opposite sex so the devil can't tempt you with infidelty and having an affair. Sadly most of my millennial generation doesn't seem to understand this concept.
I am not from here, but it took me 10 years to find out that the friendship of my husband with another women was an affair. They never had sex , but she was married making cookies, and giving him gifts.
I do want to say it doesn’t have to be a sexual desire. I’m in a very tenuous relationship with a woman who has been in an emotional affair with the father of her son who is in prison. She so desperately wants to believe she didn’t have a child with a monster and desperately wants a father for her son who has been present off and on for less then two years in his 14 year life that she compromised her and I’d relationship by allowing him to call or send emails whenever he wants. She started comparing me to him. “He makes me life.” “ He validates me in ways you don’t.” There are so many hidden layers to emotional affairs most don’t get. She has eroded my trust in her because she created space to talk to him. She told me she doesn’t know why she can’t talk to me about their relationship. I don’t know how we come back from this.
I normally would listen to different coaches and I've never met anyone so spot on, nailing it and truthful like you. Relationships are difficult and impossible to enjoy with people whom are constantly seeking after attention and validation from others.
Thank you! This is exactly was lead to the destruction of my relationship, he did everything you said and he claims that emotional cheating is not real
Exactly . They will never admit it. They will rewrite the whole story to appear as the hero or the victim as mine did. Deny, deflect, blame, and dismiss your thoughts and feelings. That’s their go to.
Excellent video. Emotional affairs are a sign of selfishness and a lack of self- control and commitment to others. The are nurtured in secret and reveal the true character of a person. Trust is destroyed and the victims are left forever haunted by the possibility of it happening again. The sword of Damocles
Thank you for you beautiful compliment. When someone cheats on you it's like they hurt you in the most tender and sacred place. Even though the betrayed person didn't do anything to deserve this, it falls on them to heal. If they don't learn to at the core of what hurts (which took me more than 15 years to do myself) it can haunt you. Being haunted is no way to pass the rest of your day. If you'd like to learn a systematic, clear, and actionable way on how to heal when you've been hurt deeply then reach out to me because I have used (yes my education and clinical experience but also) my personal journey to create a way to heal that i wish I had when I was hurt and confused. You are welcome to email me here but do mention your post and that I offered for you to write to me. Sanya@SanyaBari.com
She chose her "want" to be close to her gay best friend over my "need" for safety and told me I was being selfish and silly because he is gay. But when she is around him, I don't exist and worse, they belittle me and she keeps finding more and more time to spend alone time with him, and canceling our time together to make time for him, including sleepovers on a monthly basis. I ended the relationship because the emotion distress I was feeling was unbearable
I understand. I'm so sorry. especially that they belittled you. It can be so hurtful and confusing when the people you love hurt you like that. Whether it's a gay best friend, a mother, a sibling or someone else. People who are unable to draw boundaries to create space to have a relationship with you are not ready for a relationship. Your relationship and you never get a chance
It's so insane how right on the money you are about everything you've mentioned!! My husband is textbook of everything mentioned! You're so darn good! Wish we could go see you!
This is what my husband did for months with a co worker, luckily he ended before it became physical, and we got therapy. And we are now on the road to a good place
This is wonderful. The bright side of the darkness infidelity brings is that it's an oppertunity to heal and balance us and our relationship. I wish you continued peace of heart and mind
I have been looking for clarity on this topic for so long. This is the first video I've seen that speaks honestly about this. If only my husband would watch this and take it to heart. Thank you.
Spot on. Sometimes it makes me feel like it's gaslighting instead of just defending or casually justifying their actions. Even if they're not sexually attracted to someone, the emotional connection of it all is inappropriate. I tell him my boundaries, but he defends the friendship bc he's "not doing anything wrong. " Eventually thi gs come to light..i.e. friends bring up events they all attended that I was completely unaware of.. or "that one time when (whatever) happened, remember that?" I am left to wonder when this occurred, or if I ask him about it, like you said in the video, "I could have swore I told you already." It definitely makes me feel invalidated and even crazy at times for looking at social media, texts, etc to "find my answer." It is hard to trust intuition once you are suspecting things already. I am in a long distance relationship..we've been together 4yrs, with 1 being long distance.
@@hellosunnymorning actually arian has nothing to do with aryans, in my language it means simply, silver. Now who is ignorant. Yes, feelings are highly subjective. However, people tend to replicate the relationships they were raised in, and their partners are more often chosen because they mirror in some way, those early relationships. Also, there was nothing in the post I replied to that suggested the person wanted 100p.c. attention. Too often, people are persuaded to settle for a relationship dynamic where their needs are not met. In that case, if negotiation fails and the other person is not supportive, then leaving is a valid choice. Its not about being infantile or needy. And, I can take a good guess because I worked with people with such problems for many years and have successfully negotiated my own marriage for 35 years. Thus I have experience in both fields. I don't know everything, but I do know people in unhappy relationships don't have to be.
Do you think the main issue is that he lied? Which of course can be a deal breaker. I often wonder about emotional cheating because prior to being in a relationship most of my friendships, male or female, were pretty close and closely resembled a relationship without the physical attraction. I wonder why we all have to give up those friendships once we're in a relationship?
If your partner has friends of the opposite sex then your partner should involve you too . My husband visited his ex girlfriend mother and it didn’t bother me because he told me that he was visiting the lady .
This video was spot on for what I'm going through, you laid out the problems with this type of infedility so well. When my partner watched this you could tell it really resonated with him and he got emotional listening to your words. I liked how you speak as if you're talking to the person directly and I think this was a great and helpful video. We're hoping to work on things in our relationship and identifying the problem and taking accountability is the first step! I recommend everyone show this to their partners if this is something they have been engaging in.
Omg this is so on point. This is happening to me rite now. My partner has reconnect with her ex. They tex and video everyday. I ve confronted her over this and she says were just friends. I've also confronted him . But he said he s not a homewrecker. That was 6 months ago. And they still keep in contact. Ffs she liars to me all the time . Hides her phone and basically does everything you just expanded in the video. We have 3 beautiful kids but this is tearing me apart. Im thinking maybe it's time to leave.
I'm so sorry to hear that. People do change and stop cheating, but they only do it when 'they are motivated to do so from inside themselves. When people are in the state of being mesmerized by someone so much that they start risking the family that has created with hard work it's an indication there is some dependency on the other side. For this to change they will need a great amount of motivation. Yes, you walking away can help... I am posting a video today, Please watch it carefully and understand the pursuer retreated dynamic that I am explaining. What this requires is stepping back while staying open. I will make another video about this soon so stay tuned. If you have a topic in mind do suggest it.
@@sanyabari thank you so much for answering my message it means alot. And yes I will watch your video. I'm trying to keep myself together and motivate myself for my own wellbeing . Thank you so much.
@@jaseyhappy9494 I'm not sure what you've decided to do, but eventually my partner did recover and is a completely different person from when he was emotionally absent, so I hope it went/is going well, keep fighting :)
If its an ex that's so disrespectful to you alls i can say is your no value to this partner fact what if the shoe was on the other foot would it be OK definitely not you need to look for someone who makes you feel like your the one my advise to you is there is plenty of potential partners out there who will not disrespect you like that i hate people like this they don't no what they want its also immature
Thank you! This is everything I was trying to get my now ex to understand. He was emotionally cheating with other women including his ex wife but claimed it wasn't cheating because he wasn't sleeping with them. He knows it's wrong because he was hiding it and when I found out and confronted him, that's how he tried to justify doing what he knew was wrong. I've since kicked him to the curb because I'm not gonna be with someone who can cheat on me repeatedly without remorse and without taking responsibility.
My husband also kept chatting with his ex wife and was not happy when I reminded him he’s married to me. She would call and he’d answer. He finally stopped. Then he got too close for my comfort to a female coworker. Defended his actions for two days. Said they were “just friends”. I’m not that naive. I saw his over attention to her on fb and not to other females including me. I told him to disengage back then and he didn’t. I’m so exhausted.
My wife said the same thing about the guy she cheated on me with, that they were just friends, yet she didn't want to introduce me to him. She kept saying they weren't having sex so there's no problem, then proceeded to throw the relationship I had with her aunt years before her and I even met in my face, knowing good and well it wasn't the same thing. Spent the past seven years trying to apologize for it because she wouldn't let it go, then she meets this guy on a dating site that she was supposed to be using to find someone for her sister and ended up sleeping with him as revenge against me. Even then she tried to justify it because it was "only one time". One time, many times, same thing. You're as guilty as you are making me out to be
They all try to justify it by saying “it’s nothing sexual “ especially if it’s an ex girlfriend….” We have just remained good friends “. but yet they are hiding their actions from you until they get caught.
Seeking/receiving attention and validation from a female other than your own partner is cheating. He can excuse it, explain it, or call it innocent but in the end it’s deemed disrespectful and cheating when they’ve been told to stop contact and it continues.
My wife was talking to her sister everyweek living in another city 4 hours away and her sister's husband comes town and takes her out to lunch before i met my wife, he knew my wife divorced and single probably her sister told him, my wife says nothing happened , but when i became her boyftiend ,her brother in law comes to town again and invites her to his hotels bar for a drink i was her new boyfriend and no one knew about it but my wife told me if i would go with her so we went to see him she did not want to go by herself to see him , so it seems like we start seeing her sister and him a lot , this continue after we got married , we went trips vacations and eating out at least once a week , we even stayed in their house some weekends , i usually get up late but wife always gets up earlier and i woke up earlier to go to bathroom i saw her in the kitchen hugged and kissed her brother in law on the cheeks while he was making coffee and usually have conversation together untill i woke up about the same time as her sister while my wife an him alone in living room drinking coffee and watching tv i guess , when i was with him alone he was telling me dirty stuff like sleeping with another women cheating, do you think my wife has or had an affair with her brother in law?
Looking for a video on this topic I have across this one and I honestly say you explain well and coherently what emotional cheating is, finally I don’t feel crazy or stupid for thinking my thoughts on this are exaggerated and that I don’t have the right to feel hurt about, so thank you for exposing this dilema.
Oh My Gosh! I've been going through trying to make a decision involving the future of my marriage. Watched many You Tube videos. This is without doubt, the best. I actually feel less guilty and perturbed about setting the wheels going for the resolution of my long marriage. Thank you for helping me feel better....
I've been studying the topic for several years. I've sinned against my husband, that's why I definitely CAN relate. I thank God for leading me to your channel. There is much high-quality information these days, but the more - the better. Thank you for your work! Sanya, I love your professionalism and I enjoy looking at your gorgeous feminine beauty. Be blessed!
Thank you for your beautiful compliment. Kudos to you... may others follow your courage and are able to do the same. It’s important to know all acts of infidelity come from a deep unresolved pain. May you and your relationships stay blessed.
My now ex did that too. Claimed that because he wasn't sleeping with them it's not cheating. I kicked him to the curb because I deserve better. The attention he was getting from other women was more important than not doing what he knew would hurt me. Don't you just love the mental gymnastics they do to justify it? You deserve better too.
You know it’s funny in a way because some will pull the “you should respect my privacy” or something like that as to why they won’t let you in their phone or give you the code. They’ll act like your being controlling and not respecting their privacy, it’s completely bs! It proves something is very likely going on to me, something they know you wouldn’t like (not exactly sexual but most likely they are talking to someone). If you have nothing to hide why is it a big deal if your partner has access to your phone.
Thank you for this message. It was exactly what I went through before my divorce in 2020. I caught her and she became violent. It was with a coworker and other people at work which makes me wonder how many times it happened when I wasn't aware. I'm happy It was not me with this problem. That relationship didn't last long she is in a bad place now. Karma is real.
Before I caught my wife cheating, I told her we should have an open relationship, she said, "No." Then after a year I caught her talking to the same guy via social media messages. When I asked why, she said, "I thought it was over until he reached out to me again. My feelings got involved." Thanks to your video, I now understand how my wife's sexual interest got her to give priority to another guy. This was a lesson I needed to learn.
"We are just friends" that is gaslighting. Here is my advice because I made many mistakes in not setting boundaries. Listen calmly and note two red flags: 1 They say it is innocent, or worse yet we are just flirting and 2 It is your fault. These are the signs of gaslighting which is a form of emotional abuse. At that point in time ask them to show you the text messages, emails or phone call history on their phone. If they will not, if they say these are private messages, then say the following in your most calm voice: "these things have violated my trust of you". Most times, even if they have deleted the records, the phone company will have records of the phone calls. Look at the phone calls and look for conversations that last a long time >40 minutes or occur in the morning or at bed time. If there are many, many phone in patterns calls then tell you partner that he/she has greatly damaged your trust and must take actions to restore that trust. Make the following requirements with NO EXCEPTIONS. communications
Love your video, short & informative keep up the good work. Not in a relationship for almost four years, however, I can tell you I’ve been through it all. I have lots of trust issues. 🙏🏿
happened to me too😔 he said she was just a friend completely platonic but commented on Insta "I love you so much🥺" and "hottie😍🥵" on her posts!? Like he was inconsiderate and doesn't respect me and our relationship. Well, looks like I was asking the wrong man to give me those. I dumped his unloyal ass and moved on.
I’m experiencing this right now.. it sucks, her response is he’s just a friend now, she lied about saving her ex phone number under another name, found out and her response again it’s not a big deal we just friends.. I’m leaving smh I feel disgusted and messed up
I feel you my now literally newly ex boyfriend who I live with and our daughter. Had the fucking audacity to ask if his female coworker could come spend the night over at our I'm sorry his apartment. Lol wtf do people do this type of shit at, damn you couldn't have broken up with me first. Then come smoothly ask me this shit like we're sister wives taking turns sharing smdh. Well it's fucking over and I will be moving out taking our child. And for the ass wipe ex he can kick rocks for all I care.
You also forgot to mention one important thing. If the partner is a narcissist, or has strong narcissistic tendencies chances are that they are cheating to get "narcissistic supply".
I was on one i repeatedly told him it made me uncomfortable that she comes over when I’m not home, it went ignored and I was told she is his friend and it’s not fair to him she can’t come over when I’m not home, I read messages that said she isn’t coming over and he said “I’m sad now” it killed/kills me I know he will never love me as much as he loves and respects her
Tell him that she’s welcome to come when you are there. Also put yourself in his place, ask him if to be fair you can take a male friend when he’s not home. If he doesn’t acknowledge and respect your feeling he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t play the puck me up dance, since he will only do what you permit.
I’m a professional who has dealt with situations like this for many years. After counseling many hundreds of people for over 40 years, let me share some observations. Sorry ladies, but I have found that more women are inclined to have emotional affairs than men do. Guys tend to seek actual affairs. The number one thing that should be a red flag is if your partner tends to go that “ extra mile” when he/she is going to be around that individual. A bit more “primping” with hair, makeup, clothing, etc. I put it this way; it’s like they’re getting ready for a first date. If you see this in your partner, I strongly advise you to pay some close attention to it!
I noticed a few months back my Wife of 11 years started drastically Changing in every way. Loss of weight, New clothes, More time on the internet, makeup etc. The communication became obsolete. I would start and arguments just to get her to respond to me. My Daughter finally caught her and said tell him or I will.
Or they become play brother and play sister lol. Usually that's an indication they've already fucked or at some point wanted too or at very least one of them caught feelings for the other. Gotta watch out for those too
So sad. Currently going through the effects of this as my 6 year relationship recently ended. He started acting really distant and we kept arguing. He would stay out late every day and like avoid me which was really strange. Turns out he was talking to a coworker after I found a woman’s scrub top in our laundry. He confessed that they would sit in his car a couple times a week and talk for hours and he was becoming emotionally attached to her. Told me he cut off contact with her but I then later found out he was lying. Never confessed it was physical but I’m sure it was as well. He said he did it because he liked the attention and blamed me for not giving him enough love and attention...
I am going through almost the exact situation right now. I found out my boyfriend of 6 years was having an emotional affair with a coworker at work. They would sit in his car during their breaks every day and would text/FaceTime outside of work behind my back. He did confess it to me, after he was in an accident and spent more than a week in the hospital alone with nothing but his thoughts and guilt. Even then though, he continued to communicate with her in there as well, more then he even did with me. When he told me I was blindsided and completely distraught. He swears it was never physical or even sexual and it had only went on less than a month before he confessed to me. I do believe him on both those things but I am having a hard time getting past this. I never expected that something like this could happen to me and I’m overwhelmed with emotions even two months later. We have not broken up and have been trying to work on our relationship and figure out why this happened. I believe it was because our relationship had been going rough for the last year or so before the affair and that he was at a very low point and needed support that I hadn’t been giving much of as of late. It is absolutely no excuse for him straying and I’ve made that known but I do believe he has learned lessons from this and that he won’t repeat it again, especially since we’ve been working so much on the relationship now more than ever before. Regardless of that all I am still really hurt and it’s been hard dealing with the aftermath of it all. I just I feel better and secure again in the relationship soon. I wish the best for you as well and hopefully you will feel better soon too.
Oh yes, they always blame you for not giving them enough attention or showing interest in their activities yet they're "having just friends", staying at work late often, hiding cell phone, password protecting every device, keeping secrets all while you are looking after them, the children and their needs and wants. You practically give them your life...and devoted wives like us end up being hurt and betrayed...more than once.
@@ebest1338 YES! I recently found out that my husband was communicating with a ex girlfriend. He Father died he attend the funeral ( didn't tell me) his coworkers told me that she was telling everyone that she was going to lunch with him on his "available" days, and that they were texting and talking to each other daily. When I confronted him he was shocked and denied it. His coworkers then told me that he gave her his work cell number and put her under a fake name, and that he told her that I thought something was going on between them, she then had the "audacity" to ask my husband if she could talk to me to reassure me that they were just "friends". Because she wanted to go lunch with him. When my father in law passed she told my husband that she wanted to attend but she didn't want a "conflict"( I've never spoken to her in my life) he was talking about me to her! She then asked my husband if he could bring her some ant killer to her house. When I confronted him with everything he was shocked and tried to show me personal cell. I said no. Show me your work cell phone- he almost died. I should him all the text messages between him and her - he even text her that he was thinking of her in Spanish. When I showed him his work phone he was shocked, embarrassed, cried, apologized then "blocked " her number. I told him don't block her number now, I told him to continue to talk to her, go to lunch with, continue to talk about her to me and to be with her fir for the rest of his life. He told me that they didn't have sex. I told him that what he did was bad enough. I have no Respect for him at all! Did you stay with your husband or leave?
@@jeb711 I am sorry you're going through that. He's not showing you any respect and they don't understand how wrong it is to go talking about you behind your back with another woman or women as in my case. It hurt me greatly to find out I was being discussed and I never knew. That ex surely has the audacity but they have that because of what our husbands tell them. They know about you and you know nothing about them. You're "lucky" in that his coworkers told you what was happening. No one who knew of my husband's affairs incl the one woman who was going to his office ever said anything to me. I never or don't have any access to his phone, etc. so if fake names were used I would never know. You found out as stuff was happening. In my case I accidentally saw a text with the last affair partner and nothing was revealed. A year later 2021 I was told it was an affair and that there were more affairs before that. Devastated. Left home for a week. Lots have happened since incl. going to separate therapists and also couples therapy. It's still a work in progress. As a Christian my aim is to please God, live for Him and keep Him 1st in my life. He will work it out. So I am still in the marriage and praying. This stuff destroys so much. I hope you get better all around.
@@ebest1338Sorry to bother you again. I guess I'm having a hard time of letting go of the anger. What also mad me mad was that when my father in law passed I took care of the repass- ( out of love) I also own my own business- where I was able to have the repass- there for free so that my mother- in law didn't have to worry about renting a hall. My mom and I took care of the food, my mom stayed there had the food set up and ready after the funeral, we made sure that everyone took a plate of food home- especially for the out of town family that came. We stayed and cleaned up everything and to think that my husband was communicating and more concerned of keeping "her friendship " and communicating with her. I know that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS! But I'm having a hard time with this. GOD BLESS YOU!👏👏
My ex got uncomfortably close to a sister friend of mine when the only thing I asked was that he didn’t date my friends, he is trying to say they are only friends as is she… but I know what he does to court a woman, I know how he looks at a woman he admires… and lusts after… something isn’t right the betrayal runs deep especially when she won’t speak to me…
Thank you so much. I am so grateful it was helpful to you. If you'd like to connect and learn more about deep healing work you can reach me at Sanya@SanyaBari.com
Cheating is simple to define. Betraying the trust of your partner. If you are hiding it, you are Cheating. If you are lying by omission, you are Cheating.
How do we as a couple heal from an emotional affair? This is exactly what we have been through. I don’t think he considered this to be an affair, but a best friend situation. We have been married 25 years. We love each other. He is remorseful about it and has apologized and admitted it happened. I just truly want to fully heal my heart and anger.
Divorce shouldn't be the last the resort, that's the lie the devil keep selling these days. Where is the place of forgiveness? Time they say heals. If truly you decide to forgive your husband you're so in love with, give it time, the pain will fade away. Those clamoring for divorce can never understand the peculiarity of your situation or what you stand to lose, some just want every other person to be as miserable as themselves because they lost a home they could have used wisdom and forgiveness to mend.
Should I tell a spouse that the other is having either an emotional or physical affair? I found out about on my own. But she added details after I asked her, "What are you doing?" So she thinks that I know based on the info SHE gave me. Not what I already knew. So she threw it in my face that I betrayed her. But I haven't said sht yet. I told myself, because I had a hunch, that she would slyly introduce this guy and daughter into their marriage. Luke oh, this is a new friend I just met. He's got a daughter the same age as ours. And that's exactly what she did. She introduced him to her husband and kids. Now she can be with or around them like nothings out of the normal. Is that messed up or what? She is my best friend and I know her husband but damn. She's mad at me because I said very hurtful things I know. But I was trying to I guess scare her into stopping. Damn it tears me up. I NEVER ever would have guessed that she had that type of deceit in her. I mean thats horrible. Any advice?
Cheats emotionally talks about me like I’m a piece of crap with the women he is having the so called emotional affair with!! I believe there are 3 or 4 women that he talks to on a regular basis.
What about when your spouse is NOT physically attracted to the friend .... but IS emotionally attached. Like a friend he'd never date cuz she's not "cute". But she is fulfilling something else.....
Yes that's been my situation too - he wouldn't respect my boundaries and stop communicating with this so called friend from many years ago.....lied and got caught going to her house but still says there is no physical attraction he just wanted to help her but a few days before being caught he tells me how "cool she is" ! It's over now, we were together 10 years and he lied and went behind my back while I was working to go see his woman friend after telling me he would not go to her house. And then tries to turn the tables on me saying I'm jealous and hate her. He can have her now.
Im in a relationship andThat's why i don't have any male friends because i kid you not they all just end up liking me romantically but my bf in the other hand thinks it's okay to have female friends on his end 🤔
If you're confiding in and having personal conversations with anyone of the opposite sex that isn't your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife you have already had an emotional affair / cheated on them! It is honestly scary to me now realizing how easy this can happen. Nothing good comes from having any friends of the opposite sex once you're in a relationship / married! Having an affair / cheating doesn't have to involve sexual relations
So you think being in a relationship means only showing your real self to that one person. And everyone else is just a superficial shell you can have banter with? Depressing. Makes relationships sound toxic and controlling.
My ex bf and I went to 3 different therapists about an issue with his emotional affair. Each one didnt side with him so he wanted to go to another. The limerence was a woman 20 years his junior, he was actually about the same age as her mom who was ill and passed away around that time. He took advantage of the situation and swooped in to be the hero for the' damsel in distress'. He took her everywhere to get her out of the house and have some 'fun' while she was caretaking for her mom. Granted she had plenty of friends her own age, and family in the area. He gaslighted me all along saying she was like his "little sister" and wouldn't include me in anything bc he said "you want to go for the wrong reasons". Huh?? We had been together for 3 years by the time I figured out what was happening... and shortly after I dumped him. I wasn't willing to go to the 4th therapist. It had escalated already and he was blame shifting, devaluing me, distancing, defensive, controlling, insulting, etc. I was done. He never married the rest of his life. My guess is she found someone her own age. I also think the thrill fades once it's not secret anymore. I provided the avenue for their secrecy and when I disappeared, that left the wizard of oz weak and exposed.
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after bring separated for 3months All thanks to mr Willson whom held me to get back my ex again I will suggest y'all get help from him and it's works within 4days.
Do you have a video on a wife who refuses be a wife to her husband wondering at what point a husband can put his wife away in divorce for that particular reason
Just broke apart my family of 3 due to the emotional affair that my ex fiance had for the entire first 2 years of our relationship. Why do we torture ourselves and endure the pain of reading every single text message, finding every single memory, every single hand written letter, then comparing their texts to the texts messages between the two of you to know exactly what lies of he was feeding you while he was with her. He told me, I'm watching a movie with my parents, so I wouldn't disturb him on his night getting drinks alone with her. Earlier that same day we had had the most magical beautiful date in our early stages of falling in love. Why after being already very hurt do we prioritize knowing the truth over hurting ourselves even more? Why do humans do this when infidelity happens? Can you please explain? I feel as though every text has been seared... into...my memory... Forever ❤️🔥
It hurts so bad. I know what your going through. It hurt worse to hear him say he was in awe of the other woman and admired her. He asked her questions about her life and wanted to know everything about her. That hurt worse, knowing he thought she was special. I have let him and the whole awful situation go. She still puts sexy posts up and even wished him a happy birthday in her IG stories. She can have the cheater.
This video is right on. My GF had a guy she was constantly Snap chatting with some of it being flirty/sexual. I asked her about it and she said "ohh its just a friend". I said Well this is beyond my boundaries, and you need to cut this off immediately or I am leaving the relationship. (I almost ended it right then and there but decided to give her another chance). She agreed said she was sorry and that it would never happen again. I come to find out three months later that the next day after she profusely apologized that she created a second snap chat account, blocked me from it, and deliberately continued the conversation with him for the next three months off and on. I figured it out and asked her about it, she lied to my face 3 times until I told her I knew. She then immediately said the conversation with him was platonic and she just liked having a random person to vent her problem too because he was a good listener and provided good life advice (when it was filled with dick pics and she sent him pictures of her breasts at least one time) I don't think she ever met up with this dude in real life but the fact that she went so far out of her way to hide it, some of the conversation was indeed sexual , and that she lied to my face about it multiple times made me have to end the relationship. No doubt she has done this before and rationalized it to herself.
Ask her if you can send him a text from her phone, (NOT going to happen). If ok, write him a note "Oh, (your name) and I just fight so much, he's being so mean to me now. Can I come over and snuggle and spend the night with you? Or ask her to send it. See how he's a friend now.
i work at target me and my wife do during the start of this we were fine working our jobs nothing going on i know guys work there and going to talk to her but this particular one hangs around her at work i try to think nothing of it and she says he just comes around and discusses his daily life to her ( so far as i know) but suddenly he with her again when i came in on my off day which has been bothering me a lot then i saw them together walking which she claims he just comes out of an department when i seen her. maybe its nothing and may I'm reading to deep into it but i feel like if she's married she shouldn't be interacting on this type of level am i wrong to think she's having an affair i check her phone and don't see texts or don't even see his name so she doesn't communicate with him nor haas she left the house or any instances where she is not going out or around she pretty much here with me and the only time this happens is at work so is it exaggeration or i there's something to worry about.
Partner straight deleted entire people off her Facebook. As it so happens, the dms disappeared too. She said "when you unfriend people on FB, the messages disappear." We know that's a lie
Last March I started talking to a married woman online. She lived in another country, and was impossible to meet but despite this we fell in love with each other. In the beginning I was going through limerence as I suffer from OCD. Anyway she was there for me emotionally in ways that no one I'd ever actually been with ever had. I still look at her as a soulmate. The thing is she and her husband have a nice home and a cozy life. While I live in a trailer and work hard but don't have nearly as much money. At first I didn't think we'd ever meet but she said a lot of things that made it seem possible in the future. Once I got that in my head everything got much worse..especially when she came out and told the truth that she couldn't ever meet me. I should have let go right then but I couldn't let her go. We both tried to end this and one of us would always beg the other back. Things got more difficult when her husband found out obviously. For the first few days she said he agreed to have an open relationship. Once he even sat there and listened as we talked on video call. Understandably this only lasted a couple of days as he could not deal with it. In the next few months she was caught talking to me a few times, with each one taking more of our time away. Recently he got a new job and I thought we were getting back on track. But a couple of weekends ago he caught her again. And the situation became more serious to the point we had to stop talking. Then we started back up secretly again but it was short lived as he somehow hacked her phone and saw the messages. Mine could be hacked too, but I guess I deserve it. With all this we can't be together anymore..It's not clear which of us broke it off ,and I know I'm completely in the wrong for having an emotional affair and sexting with a married woman but at the same time I didn't start it. Either way I am completely lost without her..she was not only my long distance lover but my soulmate and best friend in the world. I'm in emotional agony and don't think I'll ever move on from this. Seems like it would be easier to get over than a closer relationship but it's definitely not.
My personal experience has been challenging, as my partner maintains close relationships with six of their exes. One of them, in particular, communicates with my partner extensively, including daily 7-hour chats, and with another ex, they converse every other day. This situation has taken a toll on my mental health, as I found their interactions uncomfortable and concerning, especially when the nature of their conversations appeared to go beyond what I would consider a normal friendship. My partner, on the other hand, insists that it's entirely normal to maintain these relationships and regularly meet and talk to his exes. It has left me wondering how to navigate this situation. Can anyone relate?
Hi, I'm reading this after an year. How have things turned out. No - it's not possible for your partner to invest in a relationship with YOU when they speak to any one person daily for 7 hours - even if it's their mother. They may have a co-dependency with that person which can be stronger than love and as hard to break as an addiction. It seems you are the side person in 'this' relationship. I'm curious to hear what happened. Email me at Sanya@SanyaBaril.com and let me know. Remind me of this comment
You can't a real long life partner who wants to have a future with you would do anything if that's what she wants soul mate should last longer than friendships you grow old with this person to me popple like this aren't serious about marriage its just a good idea to them to get married they will still do it even when married there lost souls and weak I love seeing marriages going on for 30+ years why they have lasted different generation and there was no social media simple
I took was also engaged at one point to a man who wanted to keep in touch with multiple ex lovers and have them on his Facebook, it's disgusting and disrespectful.
Lying to your partner, you already in your mind mentally decided to make the first step to “cheat”.
I personally wouldnt want to give my affections to another man while with another. This is what makes your relationship special.
You know you're screwed when your gf/wife says "but we're JUST friends"
that's why i dumped my gf😢
@@itadakihokkaido4305 RIP bro
Exactly
"He's just my tenant!" The guy renting the other half of her duplex, it caused a total disaster, he plotted, she let it happen. Then she was cheating on him with me. Mr. Karma allowed me to write him a note on her backside in red permeant marker. Ever see the old record album by Eric Clapton, "E C was here"? One of my favorite pictures!
Anything you have to hide from your significant other is wrong.
When someone is doing that it’s over. There’s no fixing it. It might go away awhile but it will be back
That is so true.once it happens no forgiveness . What is done is done
It's true that some people try to rationalize that emotional cheating isn't really cheating because it isn't physical. First of all, it is Cheating and second, emotional cheating often leeds to physical cheating.
*leads
I agree with you 💯......A lot of my partners did emotionally and financially cheated on me..If you are watching this...... YOUR BUSTED! ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE IF YOU GOT CAUGHT!
🤬💔🤬💔
My g/f did this with some Snowflake at her work. She came clean, but since I am more intelligent than her, I already knew. I was actually hoping it would get physical so I could make a fool of them both.
Luckily he was fired and I was saved from going to jail.
There will never be trust between us again.
I think I will now pursue an emotional affair with an old female friend.
Living well is the best revenge.
F*ck it.
Yep. Happened to me. I warned my wife repeatedly about going on to those blasted dating sites to look for a man for her friend or relative. They can do it themselves. She ended up becoming "friends" with one of them, and I kept trying to get her to stop talking to him because he wanted more than friends with her. He even said so, regardless that he knew she was married to me. She kept talking to him anyway, and it happened between with one of her unnecessary angry bouts with me. Yeah, she was just looking for an excuse to doit
Yep. My ex tried to pull that BS with me when he got caught. But he told on himself with his actions and the dumb replacement revealed herself on his birthday page, what I already knew.
People should not have lunches in groups every day. People notice the eye contact.
So easy to noticed.
Trust me, an emotional affair is just as damaging as a physical one. Be warned when a man tells you bs like "we are just friends." " I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad" that should be your first indication that what you are doing is inappropriate.
I found out my man has been going on lunch dates alone with women 😢. He always puts me on the backburner. Ive always been so supportive of him. I told him it bothers me that he does that and he said im jealous and insecure.
Finally! Someone who tells the truth about this male-female friendship dynamic. Men and women cannot be just platonic friends. And if a woman expresses her discomfort of such a situation to a man and he does nothing about it he does not love her.
Thank you Nansi
This comment brought tears to my eyes. Just found out yesterday that after asking my husband years ago to respect his marriage enough to stop being do close to this coworker and communicating with her outside of work that he has spent years in a whole emotional affair with her. Even while I was pregnant recently.
If he doesn't seem concerned about your discomfort he doesn't love you. This is such a hard pill to swallow but so true.
Way to one side the situation.
Wtf??? Vice versa too..women tend more often to be the ones having an emotional affair, sometimes with a woman
Yes!
Thank you for validating those who are gaslighted in this grey zone of the "if this isn't wrong then this is right."
This ended what could have been a long lasting relationship. Ironically, his best "friend" is the ex-wife who divorced him. He tried to have us both hooked. I walked away from that sick sordid betrayal.
I hope this comment doesn't get too long .I was married twice; both wives had physical Affairs. That being the case, I also used to think that men and women could be friends and have platonic relationships-- but I don't believe that anymore.To me a male/ female friendship is a backup. You know the old line " he/she is just a friend".But if you start to have problems in your marriage, as every marriage has sooner or later ,that friendship can quickly become a sexual relationship in the blink of an eye. I remember when I got married one of the things the minister said was "love is a friendship that has caught fire".Well, when you have that fire smoldering in the background it doesn't take much to put some gasoline on it and it explodes.
Well said. That was a very wise minister. Thank you for adding to this very important topic as this knowledge can prevent a of misery and heartbreak.
@@sanyabari HI madam, i have a question on behalf of my friend, actually few months ago he read his wife's WhatsApp message which she have sent to another guy, it was just like a flirting messege , translation of that messege is" the guy whom you make feel jealous he is still respect you " and after typing that message few minutes later she deleted entire chat what does it mean, will it be consider as an affair or emotional affair , because once upon a Time my friends wife told my friend that there was a boy during her school time who used to like her and used to stare her , and she was talking about the same boy whom she sent a message, and when my friend asked her she refused and denied it directly, however now that boy is also married, please reply me what does it mean, because my friend is worried about it. Thank you.
@@ultimatewarrior1234 Hi. It’s not clear whether that’s cheating or not. Why don’t you email me at Sanya@SanyaBari.com im going to need more details.
Im on New York time so there will be a time difference in the response
That’s quote made my stomach sick.
I thought, I was the only one that thinks like that. I agree with you 100%
Thanks for this. I can't stand double standards. My wife was mad that I found out that she was talking to another guy off to the side, and of course I was at fault for not "giving her enough attention," therefore I forced her to do that. I tried to explain to her several times how it's wrong that she did it, and even tried to give the scenario of if the roles were reversed and I was still talking to someone I met years prior to us being together. Her response goes along the line of "that's fine, you can do that. You're a guy." Sounds rather misandristic. Her basis for all of it is over something I did years before we met, but it somehow affects her because of who it was. Regardless, it was before I even knew she existed! So she gets to do the same to me as "revenge". Even after all was said and done, and she supposedly stopped talking to this guy, I still see his number on her phone. She doesn't like me going through her phone. Well, I don't like you still talking to the guy you messed around with behind my back!
well if its ok for her to talk to other guys and have her side guys then i guess its ok for you to have your side girls. its ok for her to do it so it must be ok for you to do it too. this is the life she chose and this is the life she will get.
@@jRex918 I agree with you in principle, except I'm too self conscious to do something like that. Plus, I'm of the mind that two wrongs don't make a right. Just because she does it doesn't give me the right to do the same. I'll be leaving soon enough to go to Washington state, which will ultimately result in divorce, then she can talk to whoever she wants
@@Me2times sorry to hear about that. I think it's time to accept that monogamy and marriage do not work. So many married women have tried to cheat on their husband's by having an affair. Whether it be sexual, emotional, spiritual, etc. I think it's time to accept that monogamy marriage does not work.
@@jRex918 it is what it is. I just keep my hope in Jesus no matter what. I know he will never do me wrong
@@Me2times i dont know what is going on in her head for her to think its ok to act like a crappy person.
It's truly remarkable how it's scenarios like this that would make an otherwise confident man, feel insecure. At which point his girlfriend or wife say his insecurity is a turn off. Never realizing she's creating the insecurity with her actions, I've always found that the only time I've ever felt jealous or insecure was always with women who I would come to find had another man in the picture and were doing something they shouldn't have been.
They gaslight without even knowing they’re doing it.
@@bencrow9497 You know buddy, after my ex and I broke up I realized something. I don't believe they are clueless to the gaslighting. My ex used to change her entire history because she realized on a conscious level that if people knew how she really acted, that no one would trust her.
Damn narcissists like to spin things so it’s our fault
Men have female friends it's cheating some girls think it's not wrong they do it
@@jennpaul74 damn accountability and women really don’t mix do they
Good on you, you called it out as it is. Just went through this. Because 300 text in a week is normal she said. she has 3 kids and did not send 30 text to all of them and myself combined... BUT ITS NORMAL. then comes the deflection, yo are just Jealous, Insecure, and you have trust issues...
This. Totally this.
It’s the inability to communicate with you, and the copious ability to communicate with the affair partner that is so hard to take. My husband called (probably still calls) his “work wife” multiple times a day, talks for 30 minutes at a time. He calls me, 1 minute, 2 minutes. Our phone bill reads like a damned tragedy.
Hung out everyday with him after talking to her friends about how attractive he is and drunkenly telling me she's "developing feelings for him.". Of course I got the "you're insecure" bullshit
I heard "you are jealous and insecure
" while he hid his communication with his ex for 2 years.
NO! Because that opposite sex "friend" will become the shoulder to cry on when things hit a rough patch in the relationship/marriage and then the devil will open up all the doors to infidelity and an affair. You're playing with fire by having "friends" of the opposite sex in the confines of relationship/marriage. I don't care if this approach sounds old school or if haters try and say to me that "you're just an abusive, insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative person for doing this. Don't you trust your girlfriend/wife?" You bet I do, but I also know that very rarely does a man stay "friends" with a woman who he doesn't have feelings for. And worse of all I can't help but feel those opposite sex "friends" are just waiting in the wings licking their chops for their turns just hoping your relationship/marriage will fail. So you bet I see any of these opposite sex "friends" in the confines of a relationship/marriage as a threat. I'm about to hit my 30s and still waiting for God's timing to bless me with the wife he has in store for me in His time, but I for one will be making sure I have no other friends of the opposite sex in the picture at all except her. Can't risk any temptations like this. A Christian marriage needs to be guarded/defended like your life depends on it because it literally does. And that means sacrificing existing friendships with the opposite sex so the devil can't tempt you with infidelty and having an affair. Sadly most of my millennial generation doesn't seem to understand this concept.
Thank you for writing this. The devil is everywhere and he’s waiting for us to fail. With Gods help, we will overcome any challenge.
I am not from here, but it took me 10 years to find out that the friendship of my husband with another women was an affair. They never had sex , but she was married making cookies, and giving him gifts.
I do want to say it doesn’t have to be a sexual desire. I’m in a very tenuous relationship with a woman who has been in an emotional affair with the father of her son who is in prison. She so desperately wants to believe she didn’t have a child with a monster and desperately wants a father for her son who has been present off and on for less then two years in his 14 year life that she compromised her and I’d relationship by allowing him to call or send emails whenever he wants. She started comparing me to him. “He makes me life.” “ He validates me in ways you don’t.” There are so many hidden layers to emotional affairs most don’t get. She has eroded my trust in her because she created space to talk to him. She told me she doesn’t know why she can’t talk to me about their relationship. I don’t know how we come back from this.
I normally would listen to different coaches and I've never met anyone so spot on, nailing it and truthful like you. Relationships are difficult and impossible to enjoy with people whom are constantly seeking after attention and validation from others.
Thank you! This is exactly was lead to the destruction of my relationship, he did everything you said and he claims that emotional cheating is not real
There is no way an emotional cheater will never admit it! Not admitting it just means everyday that she went by is another day she or he lied to you!
Exactly . They will never admit it. They will rewrite the whole story to appear as the hero or the victim as mine did. Deny, deflect, blame, and dismiss your thoughts and feelings. That’s their go to.
Excellent video. Emotional affairs are a sign of selfishness and a lack of self- control and commitment to others. The are nurtured in secret and reveal the true character of a person. Trust is destroyed and the victims are left forever haunted by the possibility of it happening again.
The sword of Damocles
Thank you for you beautiful compliment. When someone cheats on you it's like they hurt you in the most tender and sacred place. Even though the betrayed person didn't do anything to deserve this, it falls on them to heal. If they don't learn to at the core of what hurts (which took me more than 15 years to do myself) it can haunt you. Being haunted is no way to pass the rest of your day. If you'd like to learn a systematic, clear, and actionable way on how to heal when you've been hurt deeply then reach out to me because I have used (yes my education and clinical experience but also) my personal journey to create a way to heal that i wish I had when I was hurt and confused. You are welcome to email me here but do mention your post and that I offered for you to write to me. Sanya@SanyaBari.com
She chose her "want" to be close to her gay best friend over my "need" for safety and told me I was being selfish and silly because he is gay. But when she is around him, I don't exist and worse, they belittle me and she keeps finding more and more time to spend alone time with him, and canceling our time together to make time for him, including sleepovers on a monthly basis. I ended the relationship because the emotion distress I was feeling was unbearable
I understand. I'm so sorry. especially that they belittled you. It can be so hurtful and confusing when the people you love hurt you like that. Whether it's a gay best friend, a mother, a sibling or someone else. People who are unable to draw boundaries to create space to have a relationship with you are not ready for a relationship. Your relationship and you never get a chance
It's so insane how right on the money you are about everything you've mentioned!! My husband is textbook of everything mentioned! You're so darn good! Wish we could go see you!
I need someone to talk to about this I am holding so much in
This is what my husband did for months with a co worker, luckily he ended before it became physical, and we got therapy. And we are now on the road to a good place
That's wonderful to hear. Infidelity can be the beginning of a new relationship - if you learn how to heal where it hurts
This is wonderful. The bright side of the darkness infidelity brings is that it's an oppertunity to heal and balance us and our relationship. I wish you continued peace of heart and mind
I have been looking for clarity on this topic for so long. This is the first video I've seen that speaks honestly about this. If only my husband would watch this and take it to heart. Thank you.
I listen to Coaches but this video every word was SPOT ON!!!! Thank you for this .....
Spot on. Sometimes it makes me feel like it's gaslighting instead of just defending or casually justifying their actions. Even if they're not sexually attracted to someone, the emotional connection of it all is inappropriate. I tell him my boundaries, but he defends the friendship bc he's "not doing anything wrong. " Eventually thi gs come to light..i.e. friends bring up events they all attended that I was completely unaware of.. or "that one time when (whatever) happened, remember that?" I am left to wonder when this occurred, or if I ask him about it, like you said in the video, "I could have swore I told you already." It definitely makes me feel invalidated and even crazy at times for looking at social media, texts, etc to "find my answer." It is hard to trust intuition once you are suspecting things already. I am in a long distance relationship..we've been together 4yrs, with 1 being long distance.
That's because it is gaslighting.
@@hellosunnymorning there's nothing like insulting people in distress to make you feel special, is there?!
@@hellosunnymorning actually arian has nothing to do with aryans, in my language it means simply, silver. Now who is ignorant. Yes, feelings are highly subjective. However, people tend to replicate the relationships they were raised in, and their partners are more often chosen because they mirror in some way, those early relationships. Also, there was nothing in the post I replied to that suggested the person wanted 100p.c. attention. Too often, people are persuaded to settle for a relationship dynamic where their needs are not met. In that case, if negotiation fails and the other person is not supportive, then leaving is a valid choice. Its not about being infantile or needy. And, I can take a good guess because I worked with people with such problems for many years and have successfully negotiated my own marriage for 35 years. Thus I have experience in both fields. I don't know everything, but I do know people in unhappy relationships don't have to be.
Do you think the main issue is that he lied? Which of course can be a deal breaker. I often wonder about emotional cheating because prior to being in a relationship most of my friendships, male or female, were pretty close and closely resembled a relationship without the physical attraction. I wonder why we all have to give up those friendships once we're in a relationship?
If your partner has friends of the opposite sex then your partner should involve you too . My husband visited his ex girlfriend mother and it didn’t bother me because he told me that he was visiting the lady .
This video was spot on for what I'm going through, you laid out the problems with this type of infedility so well. When my partner watched this you could tell it really resonated with him and he got emotional listening to your words. I liked how you speak as if you're talking to the person directly and I think this was a great and helpful video. We're hoping to work on things in our relationship and identifying the problem and taking accountability is the first step! I recommend everyone show this to their partners if this is something they have been engaging in.
Omg this is so on point. This is happening to me rite now. My partner has reconnect with her ex. They tex and video everyday. I ve confronted her over this and she says were just friends. I've also confronted him . But he said he s not a homewrecker. That was 6 months ago. And they still keep in contact. Ffs she liars to me all the time . Hides her phone and basically does everything you just expanded in the video. We have 3 beautiful kids but this is tearing me apart. Im thinking maybe it's time to leave.
I'm so sorry to hear that. People do change and stop cheating, but they only do it when 'they are motivated to do so from inside themselves. When people are in the state of being mesmerized by someone so much that they start risking the family that has created with hard work it's an indication there is some dependency on the other side. For this to change they will need a great amount of motivation. Yes, you walking away can help... I am posting a video today, Please watch it carefully and understand the pursuer retreated dynamic that I am explaining. What this requires is stepping back while staying open. I will make another video about this soon so stay tuned. If you have a topic in mind do suggest it.
@@sanyabari thank you so much for answering my message it means alot. And yes I will watch your video. I'm trying to keep myself together and motivate myself for my own wellbeing . Thank you so much.
@@jaseyhappy9494 I'm not sure what you've decided to do, but eventually my partner did recover and is a completely different person from when he was emotionally absent, so I hope it went/is going well, keep fighting :)
If its an ex that's so disrespectful to you alls i can say is your no value to this partner fact what if the shoe was on the other foot would it be OK definitely not you need to look for someone who makes you feel like your the one my advise to you is there is plenty of potential partners out there who will not disrespect you like that i hate people like this they don't no what they want its also immature
THANK - YOU! Yes! So many people have a hard time understanding this and you went straight to the point.
Thank you! This is everything I was trying to get my now ex to understand. He was emotionally cheating with other women including his ex wife but claimed it wasn't cheating because he wasn't sleeping with them. He knows it's wrong because he was hiding it and when I found out and confronted him, that's how he tried to justify doing what he knew was wrong. I've since kicked him to the curb because I'm not gonna be with someone who can cheat on me repeatedly without remorse and without taking responsibility.
My husband also kept chatting with his ex wife and was not happy when I reminded him he’s married to me. She would call and he’d answer. He finally stopped.
Then he got too close for my comfort to a female coworker. Defended his actions for two days. Said they were “just friends”. I’m not that naive. I saw his over attention to her on fb and not to other females including me. I told him to disengage back then and he didn’t. I’m so exhausted.
You did right.
My wife said the same thing about the guy she cheated on me with, that they were just friends, yet she didn't want to introduce me to him. She kept saying they weren't having sex so there's no problem, then proceeded to throw the relationship I had with her aunt years before her and I even met in my face, knowing good and well it wasn't the same thing. Spent the past seven years trying to apologize for it because she wouldn't let it go, then she meets this guy on a dating site that she was supposed to be using to find someone for her sister and ended up sleeping with him as revenge against me. Even then she tried to justify it because it was "only one time". One time, many times, same thing. You're as guilty as you are making me out to be
They all try to justify it by saying “it’s nothing sexual “ especially if it’s an ex girlfriend….” We have just remained good friends “. but yet they are hiding their actions from you until they get caught.
Seeking/receiving attention and validation from a female other than your own partner is cheating. He can excuse it, explain it, or call it innocent but in the end it’s deemed disrespectful and cheating when they’ve been told to stop contact and it continues.
I was told by my wife it was my fault for her pursuing another man and her hiding it from me for many months.
It's up to your spouse or significant other to decide what hurts them...it's their decision to decide if they feel they are being cheated
Awesome🎉
My wife was talking to her sister everyweek living in another city 4 hours away and her sister's husband comes town and takes her out to lunch before i met my wife, he knew my wife divorced and single probably her sister told him, my wife says nothing happened , but when i became her boyftiend ,her brother in law comes to town again and invites her to his hotels bar for a drink i was her new boyfriend and no one knew about it but my wife told me if i would go with her so we went to see him she did not want to go by herself to see him , so it seems like we start seeing her sister and him a lot , this continue after we got married , we went trips vacations and eating out at least once a week , we even stayed in their house some weekends , i usually get up late but wife always gets up earlier and i woke up earlier to go to bathroom i saw her in the kitchen hugged and kissed her brother in law on the cheeks while he was making coffee and usually have conversation together untill i woke up about the same time as her sister while my wife an him alone in living room drinking coffee and watching tv i guess , when i was with him alone he was telling me dirty stuff like sleeping with another women cheating, do you think my wife has or had an affair with her brother in law?
It doesn’t sounds good
Looking for a video on this topic I have across this one and I honestly say you explain well and coherently what emotional cheating is, finally I don’t feel crazy or stupid for thinking my thoughts on this are exaggerated and that I don’t have the right to feel hurt about, so thank you for exposing this dilema.
Oh My Gosh! I've been going through trying to make a decision involving the future of my marriage. Watched many You Tube videos. This is without doubt, the best. I actually feel less guilty and perturbed about setting the wheels going for the resolution of my long marriage. Thank you for helping me feel better....
I've been studying the topic for several years. I've sinned against my husband, that's why I definitely CAN relate. I thank God for leading me to your channel. There is much high-quality information these days, but the more - the better. Thank you for your work! Sanya, I love your professionalism and I enjoy looking at your gorgeous feminine beauty. Be blessed!
Thank you for your beautiful compliment. Kudos to you... may others follow your courage and are able to do the same.
It’s important to know all acts of infidelity come from a deep unresolved pain.
May you and your relationships stay blessed.
This is exactly what my wife is doing, she's in the limerance stage and thinking/acting like she's not doing anything wrong,
Im sorry to hear you are going through that
God bless you.
Same here bud. I feel like everything is over
@@sanyabari same
My now ex did that too. Claimed that because he wasn't sleeping with them it's not cheating. I kicked him to the curb because I deserve better. The attention he was getting from other women was more important than not doing what he knew would hurt me. Don't you just love the mental gymnastics they do to justify it? You deserve better too.
It's exactly the truth ,most men tend to hide texts and delete them as a way of hiding .
my gf did the same thing.
Exactly!
You know it’s funny in a way because some will pull the “you should respect my privacy” or something like that as to why they won’t let you in their phone or give you the code. They’ll act like your being controlling and not respecting their privacy, it’s completely bs! It proves something is very likely going on to me, something they know you wouldn’t like (not exactly sexual but most likely they are talking to someone). If you have nothing to hide why is it a big deal if your partner has access to your phone.
I don't have texting on my phone. Nothing to delete.
@@littlebanshee or they hide information on their phone in different files that you will have no access to!
I find its best to detach from desire as a whole. People are going to do whatever they want no matter what and that's ok.
I have never seen a more accurate video. Thanks for putting it out there. It has helped me tremendously. Thanks for a free therapy! :)
Thank you for this message. It was exactly what I went through before my divorce in 2020. I caught her and she became violent.
It was with a coworker and other people at work which makes me wonder how many times it happened when I wasn't aware.
I'm happy It was not me with this problem.
That relationship didn't last long she is in a bad place now. Karma is real.
Sounds like you dated as narcissist they are truly the most evil psycho people you will ever meet.
Before I caught my wife cheating, I told her we should have an open relationship, she said, "No." Then after a year I caught her talking to the same guy via social media messages. When I asked why, she said, "I thought it was over until he reached out to me again. My feelings got involved." Thanks to your video, I now understand how my wife's sexual interest got her to give priority to another guy. This was a lesson I needed to learn.
"We are just friends" that is gaslighting. Here is my advice because I made many mistakes in not setting boundaries. Listen calmly and note two red flags: 1 They say it is innocent, or worse yet we are just flirting and 2 It is your fault. These are the signs of gaslighting which is a form of emotional abuse. At that point in time ask them to show you the text messages, emails or phone call history on their phone. If they will not, if they say these are private messages, then say the following in your most calm voice: "these things have violated my trust of you". Most times, even if they have deleted the records, the phone company will have records of the phone calls. Look at the phone calls and look for conversations that last a long time >40 minutes or occur in the morning or at bed time. If there are many, many phone in patterns calls then tell you partner that he/she has greatly damaged your trust and must take actions to restore that trust.
Make the following requirements with NO EXCEPTIONS.
communications
Love your video, short & informative keep up the good work. Not in a relationship for almost four years, however, I can tell you I’ve been through it all. I have lots of trust issues. 🙏🏿
This sorta thing creates trust issues for innocent parties 🙏
happened to me too😔 he said she was just a friend completely platonic but commented on Insta "I love you so much🥺" and "hottie😍🥵" on her posts!? Like he was inconsiderate and doesn't respect me and our relationship. Well, looks like I was asking the wrong man to give me those. I dumped his unloyal ass and moved on.
So glad you did this what he did is so direspectful
The only way to prevent this from happening is to put the threat of divorce or expose their indiscretions
Thank you for making this video as it totally validates my feelings and it totally explained my partner's behavior exactly bang on
I'm so happy it was helpful. it can feel lonely when someone is gas lighting you
I love that smile saying : “I’m calling your bullshit as it is. You are not duping me.”
I’m experiencing this right now.. it sucks, her response is he’s just a friend now, she lied about saving her ex phone number under another name, found out and her response again it’s not a big deal we just friends.. I’m leaving smh I feel disgusted and messed up
I feel you my now literally newly ex boyfriend who I live with and our daughter. Had the fucking audacity to ask if his female coworker could come spend the night over at our I'm sorry his apartment. Lol wtf do people do this type of shit at, damn you couldn't have broken up with me first. Then come smoothly ask me this shit like we're sister wives taking turns sharing smdh. Well it's fucking over and I will be moving out taking our child. And for the ass wipe ex he can kick rocks for all I care.
You also forgot to mention one important thing. If the partner is a narcissist, or has strong narcissistic tendencies chances are that they are cheating to get "narcissistic supply".
I was on one i repeatedly told him it made me uncomfortable that she comes over when I’m not home, it went ignored and I was told she is his friend and it’s not fair to him she can’t come over when I’m not home, I read messages that said she isn’t coming over and he said “I’m sad now” it killed/kills me I know he will never love me as much as he loves and respects her
Tell him that she’s welcome to come when you are there. Also put yourself in his place, ask him if to be fair you can take a male friend when he’s not home. If he doesn’t acknowledge and respect your feeling he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t play the puck me up dance, since he will only do what you permit.
Sounds good
I’m a professional who has dealt with situations like this for many years. After counseling many hundreds of people for over 40 years, let me share some observations. Sorry ladies, but I have found that more women are inclined to have emotional affairs than men do. Guys tend to seek actual affairs. The number one thing that should be a red flag is if your partner tends to go that “ extra mile” when he/she is going to be around that individual. A bit more “primping” with hair, makeup, clothing, etc. I put it this way; it’s like they’re getting ready for a first date. If you see this in your partner, I strongly advise you to pay some close attention to it!
An emotional affair is an actual affair.🙄
I noticed a few months back my Wife of 11 years started drastically Changing in every way. Loss of weight, New clothes, More time on the internet, makeup etc. The communication became obsolete. I would start and arguments just to get her to respond to me. My Daughter finally caught her and said tell him or I will.
This is why I firmly believe men and women cannot be just friends.
I agree. There's always one person that wants more if not both...
Or they become play brother and play sister lol. Usually that's an indication they've already fucked or at some point wanted too or at very least one of them caught feelings for the other. Gotta watch out for those too
Especially if there is a strong attraction
So sad. Currently going through the effects of this as my 6 year relationship recently ended. He started acting really distant and we kept arguing. He would stay out late every day and like avoid me which was really strange. Turns out he was talking to a coworker after I found a woman’s scrub top in our laundry. He confessed that they would sit in his car a couple times a week and talk for hours and he was becoming emotionally attached to her. Told me he cut off contact with her but I then later found out he was lying. Never confessed it was physical but I’m sure it was as well. He said he did it because he liked the attention and blamed me for not giving him enough love and attention...
I am going through almost the exact situation right now. I found out my boyfriend of 6 years was having an emotional affair with a coworker at work. They would sit in his car during their breaks every day and would text/FaceTime outside of work behind my back. He did confess it to me, after he was in an accident and spent more than a week in the hospital alone with nothing but his thoughts and guilt. Even then though, he continued to communicate with her in there as well, more then he even did with me. When he told me I was blindsided and completely distraught. He swears it was never physical or even sexual and it had only went on less than a month before he confessed to me. I do believe him on both those things but I am having a hard time getting past this. I never expected that something like this could happen to me and I’m overwhelmed with emotions even two months later. We have not broken up and have been trying to work on our relationship and figure out why this happened. I believe it was because our relationship had been going rough for the last year or so before the affair and that he was at a very low point and needed support that I hadn’t been giving much of as of late. It is absolutely no excuse for him straying and I’ve made that known but I do believe he has learned lessons from this and that he won’t repeat it again, especially since we’ve been working so much on the relationship now more than ever before. Regardless of that all I am still really hurt and it’s been hard dealing with the aftermath of it all. I just I feel better and secure again in the relationship soon. I wish the best for you as well and hopefully you will feel better soon too.
Oh yes, they always blame you for not giving them enough attention or showing interest in their activities yet they're "having just friends", staying at work late often, hiding cell phone, password protecting every device, keeping secrets all while you are looking after them, the children and their needs and wants. You practically give them your life...and devoted wives like us end up being hurt and betrayed...more than once.
@@ebest1338 YES! I recently found out that my husband was communicating with a ex girlfriend. He Father died he attend the funeral ( didn't tell me) his coworkers told me that she was telling everyone that she was going to lunch with him on his "available" days, and that they were texting and talking to each other daily. When I confronted him he was shocked and denied it. His coworkers then told me that he gave her his work cell number and put her under a fake name, and that he told her that I thought something was going on between them, she then had the "audacity" to ask my husband if she could talk to me to reassure me that they were just "friends". Because she wanted to go lunch with him. When my father in law passed she told my husband that she wanted to attend but she didn't want a "conflict"( I've never spoken to her in my life) he was talking about me to her! She then asked my husband if he could bring her some ant killer to her house. When I confronted him with everything he was shocked and tried to show me personal cell. I said no. Show me your work cell phone- he almost died. I should him all the text messages between him and her - he even text her that he was thinking of her in Spanish. When I showed him his work phone he was shocked, embarrassed, cried, apologized then "blocked " her number. I told him don't block her number now, I told him to continue to talk to her, go to lunch with, continue to talk about her to me and to be with her fir for the rest of his life. He told me that they didn't have sex. I told him that what he did was bad enough. I have no Respect for him at all! Did you stay with your husband or leave?
@@jeb711 I am sorry you're going through that. He's not showing you any respect and they don't understand how wrong it is to go talking about you behind your back with another woman or women as in my case. It hurt me greatly to find out I was being discussed and I never knew. That ex surely has the audacity but they have that because of what our husbands tell them. They know about you and you know nothing about them. You're "lucky" in that his coworkers told you what was happening. No one who knew of my husband's affairs incl the one woman who was going to his office ever said anything to me. I never or don't have any access to his phone, etc. so if fake names were used I would never know. You found out as stuff was happening. In my case I accidentally saw a text with the last affair partner and nothing was revealed. A year later 2021 I was told it was an affair and that there were more affairs before that. Devastated. Left home for a week. Lots have happened since incl. going to separate therapists and also couples therapy. It's still a work in progress. As a Christian my aim is to please God, live for Him and keep Him 1st in my life. He will work it out. So I am still in the marriage and praying. This stuff destroys so much. I hope you get better all around.
@@ebest1338Sorry to bother you again. I guess I'm having a hard time of letting go of the anger. What also mad me mad was that when my father in law passed I took care of the repass- ( out of love) I also own my own business- where I was able to have the repass- there for free so that my mother- in law didn't have to worry about renting a hall. My mom and I took care of the food, my mom stayed there had the food set up and ready after the funeral, we made sure that everyone took a plate of food home- especially for the out of town family that came. We stayed and cleaned up everything and to think that my husband was communicating and more concerned of keeping "her friendship " and communicating with her. I know that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS! But I'm having a hard time with this. GOD BLESS YOU!👏👏
My ex got uncomfortably close to a sister friend of mine when the only thing I asked was that he didn’t date my friends, he is trying to say they are only friends as is she… but I know what he does to court a woman, I know how he looks at a woman he admires… and lusts after… something isn’t right the betrayal runs deep especially when she won’t speak to me…
best video I've ever watched
Thank you so much. I am so grateful it was helpful to you. If you'd like to connect and learn more about deep healing work you can reach me at Sanya@SanyaBari.com
Cheating is simple to define. Betraying the trust of your partner. If you are hiding it, you are Cheating. If you are lying by omission, you are Cheating.
How do we as a couple heal from an emotional affair? This is exactly what we have been through. I don’t think he considered this to be an affair, but a best friend situation. We have been married 25 years. We love each other. He is remorseful about it and has apologized and admitted it happened. I just truly want to fully heal my heart and anger.
Divorce
@@petekdemircioglu exactly. i have been the other woman and I could never imagine anyone wanting to still be with this person
Divorce shouldn't be the last the resort, that's the lie the devil keep selling these days. Where is the place of forgiveness? Time they say heals. If truly you decide to forgive your husband you're so in love with, give it time, the pain will fade away. Those clamoring for divorce can never understand the peculiarity of your situation or what you stand to lose, some just want every other person to be as miserable as themselves because they lost a home they could have used wisdom and forgiveness to mend.
@@GraceAkinola I am happy to see men forgiving so easily 😀
Great video. Sanya
Should I tell a spouse that the other is having either an emotional or physical affair? I found out about on my own. But she added details after I asked her, "What are you doing?" So she thinks that I know based on the info SHE gave me. Not what I already knew. So she threw it in my face that I betrayed her. But I haven't said sht yet. I told myself, because I had a hunch, that she would slyly introduce this guy and daughter into their marriage. Luke oh, this is a new friend I just met. He's got a daughter the same age as ours. And that's exactly what she did. She introduced him to her husband and kids. Now she can be with or around them like nothings out of the normal. Is that messed up or what? She is my best friend and I know her husband but damn. She's mad at me because I said very hurtful things I know. But I was trying to I guess scare her into stopping. Damn it tears me up. I NEVER ever would have guessed that she had that type of deceit in her. I mean thats horrible. Any advice?
It's simple really, if you wouldn't do it with your partner standing right there watching you, it's cheating!
Cheats emotionally talks about me
like I’m a piece of crap with the women he is having the so called emotional affair with!! I believe there are 3 or 4 women that he talks to on a regular basis.
wow, hit the nail. I am the partner looking for what to do about this....goin' nuts! Recommend a video for the partner, please. TY!
You can email me. Please refer to me texting you in these comments when you email me sanya@sanyabari.com
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢. It breaks my heart that I'm dealing with this!
I'm so sorry. this can be painful.Reach out if you need help Sanya@SanyaBari.com
Emotional affair eventually leads to physical affair.
You are absolutely right spot on.
Loved this information and the way Sonja presented! Thank you! Will call very soon!
Thank you Mary. I appreciate your generous compliment and look forward to connecting with you.
@@sanyabari hi madam please reply on my previous comment and also tell me how can i Contact you regarding further doubts and queries.
What about when your spouse is NOT physically attracted to the friend .... but IS emotionally attached. Like a friend he'd never date cuz she's not "cute". But she is fulfilling something else.....
Yes that's been my situation too - he wouldn't respect my boundaries and stop communicating with this so called friend from many years ago.....lied and got caught going to her house but still says there is no physical attraction he just wanted to help her but a few days before being caught he tells me how "cool she is" ! It's over now, we were together 10 years and he lied and went behind my back while I was working to go see his woman friend after telling me he would not go to her house. And then tries to turn the tables on me saying I'm jealous and hate her. He can have her now.
i love this video so so much 🙏 thank you ♥️
Excellent break down
Excellent truth-laced video.
Thank you
Thank you
Im in a relationship andThat's why i don't have any male friends because i kid you not they all just end up liking me romantically but my bf in the other hand thinks it's okay to have female friends on his end 🤔
thanks... itd=s a eye opening
Excellent description of emotional affair
Thank you for sharing these wise words. Subscribing!
If you're confiding in and having personal conversations with anyone of the opposite sex that isn't your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife you have already had an emotional affair / cheated on them! It is honestly scary to me now realizing how easy this can happen. Nothing good comes from having any friends of the opposite sex once you're in a relationship / married! Having an affair / cheating doesn't have to involve sexual relations
So you think being in a relationship means only showing your real self to that one person. And everyone else is just a superficial shell you can have banter with? Depressing. Makes relationships sound toxic and controlling.
My ex bf and I went to 3 different therapists about an issue with his emotional affair. Each one didnt side with him so he wanted to go to another. The limerence was a woman 20 years his junior, he was actually about the same age as her mom who was ill and passed away around that time. He took advantage of the situation and swooped in to be the hero for the' damsel in distress'. He took her everywhere to get her out of the house and have some 'fun' while she was caretaking for her mom. Granted she had plenty of friends her own age, and family in the area. He gaslighted me all along saying she was like his "little sister" and wouldn't include me in anything bc he said "you want to go for the wrong reasons". Huh?? We had been together for 3 years by the time I figured out what was happening... and shortly after I dumped him. I wasn't willing to go to the 4th therapist. It had escalated already and he was blame shifting, devaluing me, distancing, defensive, controlling, insulting, etc. I was done. He never married the rest of his life. My guess is she found someone her own age. I also think the thrill fades once it's not secret anymore. I provided the avenue for their secrecy and when I disappeared, that left the wizard of oz weak and exposed.
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after bring separated for 3months All thanks to mr Willson whom held me to get back my ex again I will suggest y'all get help from him and it's works within 4days.
I was in the same difficulties before he helped me few days ago.He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problem... 🏃♂🏃♂🏃♂
You can connect with him on wh'atsapp*🙏👇
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Do you have a video on a wife who refuses be a wife to her husband wondering at what point a husband can put his wife away in divorce for that particular reason
No, but it's a good one to make. Thank you for the suggestion. Look out for one. I'll make it specially on your request
I appreciate this video. This explains a lot
Just broke apart my family of 3 due to the emotional affair that my ex fiance had for the entire first 2 years of our relationship. Why do we torture ourselves and endure the pain of reading every single text message, finding every single memory, every single hand written letter, then comparing their texts to the texts messages between the two of you to know exactly what lies of he was feeding you while he was with her. He told me, I'm watching a movie with my parents, so I wouldn't disturb him on his night getting drinks alone with her. Earlier that same day we had had the most magical beautiful date in our early stages of falling in love. Why after being already very hurt do we prioritize knowing the truth over hurting ourselves even more? Why do humans do this when infidelity happens? Can you please explain? I feel as though every text has been seared... into...my memory... Forever ❤️🔥
It hurts so bad. I know what your going through. It hurt worse to hear him say he was in awe of the other woman and admired her. He asked her questions about her life and wanted to know everything about her. That hurt worse, knowing he thought she was special. I have let him and the whole awful situation go. She still puts sexy posts up and even wished him a happy birthday in her IG stories. She can have the cheater.
Beautifully explained....
Great words
Thank you Sanya Bari absolutely wonderful you so right
Thank you
True. Great words
This video is right on. My GF had a guy she was constantly Snap chatting with some of it being flirty/sexual. I asked her about it and she said "ohh its just a friend". I said Well this is beyond my boundaries, and you need to cut this off immediately or I am leaving the relationship. (I almost ended it right then and there but decided to give her another chance). She agreed said she was sorry and that it would never happen again. I come to find out three months later that the next day after she profusely apologized that she created a second snap chat account, blocked me from it, and deliberately continued the conversation with him for the next three months off and on. I figured it out and asked her about it, she lied to my face 3 times until I told her I knew. She then immediately said the conversation with him was platonic and she just liked having a random person to vent her problem too because he was a good listener and provided good life advice (when it was filled with dick pics and she sent him pictures of her breasts at least one time) I don't think she ever met up with this dude in real life but the fact that she went so far out of her way to hide it, some of the conversation was indeed sexual , and that she lied to my face about it multiple times made me have to end the relationship. No doubt she has done this before and rationalized it to herself.
Ask her if you can send him a text from her phone, (NOT going to happen). If ok, write him a note "Oh, (your name) and I just fight so much, he's being so mean to me now. Can I come over and snuggle and spend the night with you? Or ask her to send it. See how he's a friend now.
i work at target me and my wife do during the start of this we were fine working our jobs nothing going on i know guys work there and going to talk to her but this particular one hangs around her at work i try to think nothing of it and she says he just comes around and discusses his daily life to her ( so far as i know) but suddenly he with her again when i came in on my off day which has been bothering me a lot then i saw them together walking which she claims he just comes out of an department when i seen her. maybe its nothing and may I'm reading to deep into it but i feel like if she's married she shouldn't be interacting on this type of level am i wrong to think she's having an affair i check her phone and don't see texts or don't even see his name so she doesn't communicate with him nor haas she left the house or any instances where she is not going out or around she pretty much here with me and the only time this happens is at work so is it exaggeration or i there's something to worry about.
Partner straight deleted entire people off her Facebook. As it so happens, the dms disappeared too.
She said "when you unfriend people on FB, the messages disappear."
We know that's a lie
Mine deleted all conversations after being caught, told me he blocked these women.. he didn’t.. and he deleted all evidence.
Mine deleted the convo with his ex. But he says he has nothing to hide. Such liars.
Last March I started talking to a married woman online. She lived in another country, and was impossible to meet but despite this we fell in love with each other. In the beginning I was going through limerence as I suffer from OCD. Anyway she was there for me emotionally in ways that no one I'd ever actually been with ever had.
I still look at her as a soulmate. The thing is she and her husband have a nice home and a cozy life. While I live in a trailer and work hard but don't have nearly as much money. At first I didn't think we'd ever meet but she said a lot of things that made it seem possible in the future. Once I got that in my head everything got much worse..especially when she came out and told the truth that she couldn't ever meet me. I should have let go right then but I couldn't let her go. We both tried to end this and one of us would always beg the other back. Things got more difficult when her husband found out obviously. For the first few days she said he agreed to have an open relationship. Once he even sat there and listened as we talked on video call. Understandably this only lasted a couple of days as he could not deal with it. In the next few months she was caught talking to me a few times, with each one taking more of our time away. Recently he got a new job and I thought we were getting back on track. But a couple of weekends ago he caught her again. And the situation became more serious to the point we had to stop talking. Then we started back up secretly again but it was short lived as he somehow hacked her phone and saw the messages. Mine could be hacked too, but I guess I deserve it.
With all this we can't be together anymore..It's not clear which of us broke it off ,and I know I'm completely in the wrong for having an emotional affair and sexting with a married woman but at the same time I didn't start it. Either way I am completely lost without her..she was not only my long distance lover but my soulmate and best friend in the world. I'm in emotional agony and don't think I'll ever move on from this. Seems like it would be easier to get over than a closer relationship but it's definitely not.
My personal experience has been challenging, as my partner maintains close relationships with six of their exes. One of them, in particular, communicates with my partner extensively, including daily 7-hour chats, and with another ex, they converse every other day. This situation has taken a toll on my mental health, as I found their interactions uncomfortable and concerning, especially when the nature of their conversations appeared to go beyond what I would consider a normal friendship. My partner, on the other hand, insists that it's entirely normal to maintain these relationships and regularly meet and talk to his exes. It has left me wondering how to navigate this situation. Can anyone relate?
Hi, I'm reading this after an year. How have things turned out. No - it's not possible for your partner to invest in a relationship with YOU when they speak to any one person daily for 7 hours - even if it's their mother. They may have a co-dependency with that person which can be stronger than love and as hard to break as an addiction. It seems you are the side person in 'this' relationship. I'm curious to hear what happened. Email me at Sanya@SanyaBaril.com and let me know. Remind me of this comment
What if your partner won’t end the friendship? He works with her and I know they still talk, even though he’s cut out texts and calls.
You can't a real long life partner who wants to have a future with you would do anything if that's what she wants soul mate should last longer than friendships you grow old with this person to me popple like this aren't serious about marriage its just a good idea to them to get married they will still do it even when married there lost souls and weak I love seeing marriages going on for 30+ years why they have lasted different generation and there was no social media simple
EXACTLY what my partner is doing with multiple ex-lovers - and we are engaged!
He is a narcissist dump him cut off all ties become invisible to him run while you got time to walk away.
Same
I took was also engaged at one point to a man who wanted to keep in touch with multiple ex lovers and have them on his Facebook, it's disgusting and disrespectful.
Thank you