@@thespiffingbrit You could try put some melon spawns in the air on noclip and then let them fall by turning off noclip ;) melon rain ultimate soution for worlds starvation
I was sleeping when he arrived. Then that melonic voice - I shall never forget - it said "Awaken, and like the video, or you will forever be drowning in, falling through, and grasping at my innumerable melons!"
@@sloth0708 I forgot how bad the draw distance was, I use the graphics extender purely to fix the resolution and the draw distance was just something they also fixed
@@Astraeus.. Given how slow you move when you start off, it's faster to go to the places you DON'T see (seriously WHY is sidestepping so much faster, is it just me??? did I make my dark elf wrong???)
to bad skyrim is like the opposite of oblivion. where oblivion focused on story an lett the world be its self. skyrim's story is peiced together with quest that barely work an a good amount of the civil war story line (the main story line) was cut from the game in such a way that we get constantly reminded that the game used to be good but it's also impossible to restore. an last of all only gliches in skyrim always seem to make a quest unbeatable.
did I mention that instead of fixing skyrim's MAIN QUEST they instead decided to used the extra ram new consoles provide on more realistic water. DID THEY EVEN REMOVE THE OUTPOSTS OR MAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THEM KILLABLE? NAH.
its honestly sad. like if you can even play that game then you need to do more research on game design in genreal an realize supporting that is what makes developers think they can just leave games unfinished.
I do enjoy how the assassin, before killing the Emperor, saw a scene of him and a melon man, eyes locked, gazing into each other with smiles ear to ear. The assassin then stood still for a second and looked back and forth at the two in front him in confusion before snapping out of it and finally completing his mission. He will likely never forget what he saw that day, and the guilt of interrupting that romantic moment will haunt the assassin forever.
I have the strangest feeling that spiff is one of the stock photos that he uses edit: ps if spiff sees this i just want to say thank you for the inspiration i started streaming after watching you and you really pushed me into doing it after seeing how much fun you have. I love you. Good bye.
He's already dropped a hint that he snuck himself into a stock photo at one point or another. However, if you want a surefire way to see him, the yogscast streams seem to regularly show everyone's faces.
Thank you Spiffing Brit! I've been through some very dark times these last couple of years. I used to drink a lot of tea, I had to go to the bathroom every 2 hours I was drinking so much. But due to stress at work I was cutting my tea sessions shorter and shorter and replaced it with quick and uneventful coffee breaks. After a while I was only drinking tea when I was at home. And than came the dark time, when coffee, the devil's liquid, slowly but surely replaced tea completely. But after watching your videos, I've been starting to drink tea again. And it is lovely. You are an inspiration! Thank You!
Spiffing, i have an idea to Melon Man: Toggle colision off, fly to the sky of the city, spawn 5 packs (or more) of watermelons, go to the floor and toggle colision on. Let's see if the city is capable to resist to a rain of watermelons!
Do this with arrows. I've seen a guard shoot *himself* while I was standing on the roof of a building. Then I kicked one of the arrows off of the roof and that shot another guard. So just spawn a bunch of arrows and let the physics engine handle the death from above.
I like your profile picture MIDAS, it would be funny if that hand was the dislike hand, though being how RUclips's rules are I doubt that would ever happen.
"How many melons is too many melons?" The answer is that there are too many melons when the number of melons you have results in their mass being contained within the Schwarzchild radius for the mass of melons that you have. The reason for this is, that at that point you would now have a black hole, entirely formed by melons (which is great) but that makes it so that the melons are no longer melons. So in short, you have too many melons when the number of melons you have makes it so you have no melons anymore.
You know what's funny, I actually did this exploit the other day and for some reason was completely surprised when it worked. I also quickly realized that any more than 500 melons being duped at a time would crash the game, however 1000 potions were fine. I also found that filling a room with melons is an amazing way to level your sneak due to the NPC's not being able to see you, due to the melons.
"we need to create melon man" *flashback to the last unis annus episode* "THIS IS MY MAN AND THIS IS MY MELON! thank you... for your sacrifice... melonman..." NOPE NOPE NOPE
"What have you done Melon Man, what have you done?! You have turned an innocent individual into melons! There is nothing left, only melons. Oh wait, there's a leg." I love this channel
This video: Oblivion: Leave the arena. Spiff: Well, I can't. I'm breaking the game. Oblivion: Alright, hurry up then leave the arena. Spiff: I can't leave. Oblivion: What do you mean you can't leave? Spiff: I can't find the door. There's only melon. ( 21:36 ) Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's only melon"? Spiff: It mean there's only melon. Oblivion: Well pick up the melons! Spiff: Alright, you don't have to shout at me (picks up some melons) There's more melons! Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's more melons"?! Spiff: There's just more melons! Oblivion: Just move the melons out of the way! Spiff: There's still melons! Oblivion: Where are you right now?! Spiff: I'm at melon! Oblivion: WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE "AT MELON"!? Spiff: I MEAN I'M AT MELON! Oblivion: WHAT ARENA ARE YOU IN?! Spiff: I'M IN THE ARENA FILLED WITH DUPLICATED MELONS!! Oblivion: WHY ARE YOU DUPLICATING MELONS IN THE ARENA?! Spiff: FUCK YOU!!
When the entire universe has been replaced with melons, every star, planet, and speck of dust a melon, with melon people living in melon cities driving melon cars, when there is nothing but green with a red center, then we shall have enough melons... but only barely.
The guards stood tall, sentinels of security. Watching over their home. Peace. Until they heard it. They heard HIM. “Hello, everybody…” and then they knew. They were no longer safe. Their wives. Their children. They would all perish, under the tide of melons.
@@jasonscarborough94 well if you follow the genetic studies that have been done on the pharos they and the upper castes were actually more middle eastern then sub Saharan black. The later ones even more so, they even had a number of European traits because they interacted with Greece and rome. (Namely marrying off people for alliances or having kids with 'concubines' imported from far off.
Technically it is part of Africa and Asia. The main portion of Egypt is Africa while the Sinai is part of Asia. But I was equally confused when I heard spiff say that. I’m with you Jason
Oh dear, here we go again, technicalities my dear boy. In any case, I'm sure they are different colonies, and hardly the greatest of tea producers, so really of very little interest. Though, I should say, props to you Rooibos fellows. A fine cup you have there.
@@richardchristie1293 Actually Egypt is pretty fanatical about tea too. The Egyptian people drink tea pretty much all the time... even more so than the brits. In fact, if it wasn't for Egypt the very history of western tea cultures would be very different.
Melon man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land where the melons understand, ooohhh Melon man, the voyage to the corner of the melon is a real trip Melon man, the crust of a tan man imbibed by the melon land Soaking up the blood thirst of man in melon land.
I swear, between Tod Howard's character creator and Spiff's hand, they need to collaborate with the SCP Foundation to create new horrifying monsters to haunt humanity's nightmares. Another great vid though Spiff, as always.
In case Spif comes back to this game, another spot you can speed up your sneak power leveling is by sneaking around in the jail cell you start in. You can also power level any magic skill by creating a cheap spell that targets self (Ex: Drain stamina to level Destruction.). Finally, it is possible to make a "Bound Equipment" spell item both permanent and equipable by NPC followers by using a repair hammer on it and dropping it.
God, I remember when I was younger and learned how to duplicate items. I went south of Imperial City into that body of water, i then proceeded to duplicate bread, successfully making a small island of bread.
"I can't find them" "What do you mean you can't find them?" "I can't find them, there's only Melons" "What do you mean there's only Melons?" "It means there's only melons" "Then get outta the Melon aisle" ... "There's more melons" "What do you MEAN there's more melons?" "There's just more melons!" "GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!" ... "There's still Melons" "Where ARE you right now!?" "I'm AT MELONS" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE AT MELONS-" "I'M AT WATERMELONS!" "WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN-" "I'M AT THE WATERMELON STORE!" "WHY ARE YOU BUYING DAEDRIC ARMOR AT THE MELON STORE-" It's almost exactly that conversation, except it's in the Imperial Arena
Why was 6 afraid of 7? It's a fairly common question, mostly because when people see 6 and 7 next to each other, it doesn't really make sense. 6 is large, muscled, and trained in multiple martial arts, while 7 is fairly average, physically, and short. However, 6's fear of 7 has its roots in childhood. See, 6 and 7 grew up together, and for a few years, they were best friends. But then 6 kissed 3, and they became childhood sweethearts. 7 secretly had feelings for 3, so 7 decided he needed to destroy 6 to win 3's affection. He started subtly, undermining 6 whenever possible with passive aggressive comments and compli-sults. But over time, things got much more insidious. 7 started messing with 6's performance in school, bringing down his grades and turning teachers against him. Even worse, 7 became great friends with 6's parents and slowly turned them against their own offspring. At night, 7 would sneak into 6's bedroom, and whisper depressing and hopeless things into his ears. Every time 3 was around, 7 would pants 6 and make fun of his genitalia, or try to body shame him in other ways. However, 3 was both smart and compassionate, and saw through 7's schemes, sticking with 6, trying to counter 7's psychological tear-down with compliments and friendship. Finally, 7 decided that he would never be able to win 3, so he drugged both 6 and 3, taking them to an abandoned cobbler's hut on the edge of town. There, he proceeded to torture and maim 3, forcing 6 to watch in horror, unable to do anything to save his sweetheart. 7 didn't kill 3, but instead, put her in a semi-vegetative state. 7 cleaned the scene of his prescence, then called the cops, having 6 blamed for 3's condition. 6 was sent to prison, believing 6 was guilty, 6's parents fell into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide over what they believed 6 had done. After serving 17 years of a 30 year sentence, and getting out on good behaviour, 6, now muscled and skilled as a fighter, thought he might get revenge on 7. But when he finally tracked down 7, he found out that 7 had installed a micro-bomb into 3's body, and should he be killed, the bomb would automatically go off and kill 3 as well. And though she was still in a mostly fugue state, 6 couldn't bring himself to hurt her any further, and decided to try and move on with his life. However, being an ex-con, it was difficult for him to get a job. 6 finally found employment at a diner, which 7 then bought, and proceeded to again undermine and toy with 6 at every turn. 6 tried to find employment elsewhere, but 7 contacted any potential employer and soured them against 6. 6 finally realized that no matter what he did, 7 was going to try and ruin his life, and he resigned himself to living as a broken, lonely man, never able to stand up to the depraved, amoral 7.
My greatest achievement in this game was wiping out every guard I found, everywhere, and collecting their area specific armors and shields. And those wonderful pieces couldnt just be stashed away in a container, so I dropped every single one in the basement of skingrad house. Keep in mind, this is on a 360. When I entered the door, the frame rate dropped to 1 every few seconds. Seriously, you push forward and after a few moments, you're halfway down the stairs. Attempt to turn your view, a few seconds later the screen is overloaded with shiny metal and a rainbow of hold colors. Walk around in super slow-mo amongst the pile, the sounds of all the equipment you walked through happen all at once when the frame refreshes, like a car wreck occurring in your very own basement. The armor appears to be flying around to give some visuals to the accident.
this is the most insane goofballery I've ever witnessed. This is like when a kid reenacts ridiculous scenarios from tv with his action figures. But the commitment here is too devout for words.
Until you remember reading posts on the nexus where mod authors describe it as the most lazy crap ever thrown together by a bunch of chimpanzees with duck tape and then remember working on it yourself too.
This is why i love Bethesda games. Not because of the "bugs" that make such a thing even possible, but because you can spawn hundreds or even thousands of physically simulated melons and the game just keeps going, they are all just being simulated like its nothing.
(Sung to the tune of Muffin Man) Do you know the Melon man? The Melon man? The Melon man. Do you know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane? Yes I know the Melon man. The Melon man? The Melon man. Yes I know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane. Let's all go to the Melon man! The Melon man? The Melon man! Let's all go to the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane! (Otherwise, he'll come haunt our dreams, and devour our souls as we slowly but surely get transformed into melons!) Come on! Let's go! Let's all go to the Melon man! The Melon man! The Melon man! Let's all go to the Melon man to save our souls from the Meloning! ;)
Oh yeah, the engine + the 360s old hardware definitely didn't like spawning too much stuff at once. Especially since it all collides with itself immediately after being spawned.
This is fantastic, me & my friend in high school used to drop thousands of watermelons off the top of Frostcraig spire & ride the wave down the mountain unscathed
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
00:01 omg wtf is going on here
@@thespiffingbrit
Every day is a Yorkshire tea day
@@DhonJoe YEP
watermelonicists are gathered onthis video
gotta love when its just one of those days you get eaten whole by watermelons
@@thespiffingbrit You could try put some melon spawns in the air on noclip and then let them fall by turning off noclip ;) melon rain ultimate soution for worlds starvation
I feel Spiff is secretly Sheogorath. Just the chaos and madness that follows him and these exploits are things Sheo would *absolutely* do.
No cheese, though
Spiffogorath
Johey Jonsson of course, Sheo would switch it up just to drive us mortals mad.
Spiff would just use the Wabbajack to turn Jarl Balgruf into tea & honestly, I wouldn't even blame him.
@@buffypython but knowing his random insanity. It would be the letter T rather than tea itself.
Therapist: Melon man isn't real. He can't hurt you
Spiff: Melon man is real and there is no escape!
No recall or intervention can work in this place!
I was sleeping when he arrived. Then that melonic voice - I shall never forget - it said "Awaken, and like the video, or you will forever be drowning in, falling through, and grasping at my innumerable melons!"
@Jack Myhre I'm a god. How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence.
"there is no door, there is only melon"
Oh no
"He is your sleep-demon and you cannot escape him"
*one moment later*
"You are the one from my dreams"
...Poor Uriel Septim :(
Underrated
You beat me to it. :P
he kinda reminded me of the teenage mutant ninja turtles LOL
@@megacharizardxgod5298 What kind of nightmarish teenage mutant ninja turtles have you watched??
The old live action ones.
7:03 "This game however, if you can see it you can go over there"
Well with Morrowind's draw distance you could argue the same thing
Yes but in Morrowind you really have no choice but to go to the places you can see, otherwise you'd never move more than 5 feet :/
@@Astraeus.. oh I know
I'm only joking, the draw distance is a harder boss fight than Dagoth Ur
@@sloth0708 you meant 100 cliff racers xd
@@sloth0708 I forgot how bad the draw distance was, I use the graphics extender purely to fix the resolution and the draw distance was just something they also fixed
@@Astraeus.. Given how slow you move when you start off, it's faster to go to the places you DON'T see (seriously WHY is sidestepping so much faster, is it just me??? did I make my dark elf wrong???)
The fact you can do this without a console command is hilarious.
Arrow/scroll/paintbrush glitches made oblivion what it is. Great
yeah that game is epic i used to screw around in it for hours with all the glitches
to bad skyrim is like the opposite of oblivion. where oblivion focused on story an lett the world be its self. skyrim's story is peiced together with quest that barely work an a good amount of the civil war story line (the main story line) was cut from the game in such a way that we get constantly reminded that the game used to be good but it's also impossible to restore. an last of all only gliches in skyrim always seem to make a quest unbeatable.
did I mention that instead of fixing skyrim's MAIN QUEST they instead decided to used the extra ram new consoles provide on more realistic water. DID THEY EVEN REMOVE THE OUTPOSTS OR MAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THEM KILLABLE? NAH.
its honestly sad. like if you can even play that game then you need to do more research on game design in genreal an realize supporting that is what makes developers think they can just leave games unfinished.
“Could we just deploy watermellons in the arena?"
“Does the game lettuce?“
MY CABBAGES!
That was quite a rad-ish joke
melon man vs keanu reavs and gr8 gramur
Hahahaha
nice one 👍
"Watermelons are native to Africa yet there is evidence of them growing in Egypt."
Hmm...
I went through the comments til i found this, i knew someone else had to notice, Egypt is 100% in Africa
Clearly someone wasn't blessing the rains enough.
@@JonManProductions
Spiff is the rain
@@DhonJoe we're spiffing the rains down in aaafffrriicccaaaaaaa
@@vladimirkevin7840 I wasn't aware the Middle East was a continent.
Tbh, I'm most impressed by the guy who went, counted, and listed every single food item in Oblivion.
Spiff: "Take 'The Lover' sign. It's a free paralyze"
Also Spiff: "Oh no, I have to go get a paralyze poison."
Well, melon man is rather seductive, wouldn't you say? ;)
Okay so I wasn't going crazy
I do enjoy how the assassin, before killing the Emperor, saw a scene of him and a melon man, eyes locked, gazing into each other with smiles ear to ear. The assassin then stood still for a second and looked back and forth at the two in front him in confusion before snapping out of it and finally completing his mission. He will likely never forget what he saw that day, and the guilt of interrupting that romantic moment will haunt the assassin forever.
I have the strangest feeling that spiff is one of the stock photos that he uses edit: ps if spiff sees this i just want to say thank you for the inspiration i started streaming after watching you and you really pushed me into doing it after seeing how much fun you have. I love you. Good bye.
He's already dropped a hint that he snuck himself into a stock photo at one point or another.
However, if you want a surefire way to see him, the yogscast streams seem to regularly show everyone's faces.
i know how he looked like but have not seen him in any of the newer vids. dont know if he ever done that in the older one or not
@@count_dcinamon The plot thickens!
This is a more valuable conspiracy then the flat earth stuff floating around.
The guy in the white shirt
"Do you know the melon man, do you know the melon man that want's to eat your soul?"
..... funny
This is the spiff content I miss back in the ole days
Can the melon man come back in a different game?
I want to see him use something like this in different games.
Can I have your soul instead
*wants
ABSOLUTELY MAJESTIC!
(Also Sean Bean is Martin - the intro is Patrick Stewart!)
They’re both from those funny little European islands known as the British isles. They’re close enough.
*Sir Patrick Stewart
"Thank you, Sean Bean."
Did a true Brit just skip Sir Patrick's monologue?
*politely sets tea cup down.
My favorite thing to duplicate with the scroll glitch was always the dark brotherhood disappearing arrows. The perfect murder...
The sithis rose, whatever its called? I didn’t realize it worked outside of the quest its for.
"There are only 68 Cheese Wheels"
Sheogorath: *Sad Sheogorath noises*
Also, we were *this* close to greatness.
Just dupe em with scrolls
You don't understand, Sheogorath stole all the remaining cheese so we keep seeing this precipice maddening us for perfection never will be achieved
@@AnMComm That makes a lot of sense, I will not doubt our Mad Prince again, I promise!
@@AnMComm But in Oblivion we are Sheogorath
@@TechnoMinarchist Not all the time. We still have our predecessor who had his fun projects.
Melon Man's voice is exactly as terrifying as I imagined it.
Yep sounds like a demon
Demelon*
Patrick Stewart: tries to speak
Spiff: "Yes yes everyone knows this thankyou Sean Bean!"
I found this extremely upsetting
I think Spiff assumed it was Sean Bean cause the character is promptly murdered.
I think Sean Bean is the king guy, uh Septum or whatever. The one that turns into the statue at the end
@@iLoveBuckets69 Lol nice name. A trusted source indeed
TBH it can be hard connecting Patrick Stewart to a character that isn't bald! :D
Thank you Spiffing Brit!
I've been through some very dark times these last couple of years.
I used to drink a lot of tea, I had to go to the bathroom every 2 hours I was drinking so much. But due to stress at work I was cutting my tea sessions shorter and shorter and replaced it with quick and uneventful coffee breaks.
After a while I was only drinking tea when I was at home.
And than came the dark time, when coffee, the devil's liquid, slowly but surely replaced tea completely.
But after watching your videos, I've been starting to drink tea again. And it is lovely.
You are an inspiration!
Thank You!
me too!!!
The nose being directly connected to the brain is what allows him to sniff out melons wherever they be
Spiffing, i have an idea to Melon Man:
Toggle colision off, fly to the sky of the city, spawn 5 packs (or more) of watermelons, go to the floor and toggle colision on.
Let's see if the city is capable to resist to a rain of watermelons!
Exactly what I was thinking too! That'd be very epic.
The city might. But his PC cannot.
Do this with arrows.
I've seen a guard shoot *himself* while I was standing on the roof of a building. Then I kicked one of the arrows off of the roof and that shot another guard.
So just spawn a bunch of arrows and let the physics engine handle the death from above.
@@leyrua did that in skyrim once, spawned a few thousand arrows and pretended it was that scene from 300 where the arrows fall.
"How many melons are too many melons?"
-Spiffing Brit, not accounting for odd numbers of melons
I like your profile picture MIDAS, it would be funny if that hand was the dislike hand, though being how RUclips's rules are I doubt that would ever happen.
@@hellspawn4083 -This was not a happy day for the hell spawn
yes
Spiff- "The history of the watermelon in elder scrolls..."
Me - grabs tea
Well, I have never played Oblivion a day in my life, but after watching this, good sir, I wish to play it!
I could watch Spiff make Oblivion characters for literal days on end without ever wanting to stop
*_That isn't Sean Bean, it's Patrick Stewart doing his best Sean Bean impression - _**_0:55_*
I got angrier than I should have when he thanked Sean Beane, there was no reason for it, it's not a big deal. I just did.
Justin Carson I’m not sure if it was a mistake, or SB taking the piss . . .
Sean Bean actually voices Martin Septim, Uriel's last heir
@@melonman6522 I assumed he was just trolling, there's no way he doesn't know it's Patrick Stewart.
That's just how good Sir Patrick Stewart is at acting - his Sean Bean was flawless.
"How many melons is too many melons?"
The answer is that there are too many melons when the number of melons you have results in their mass being contained within the Schwarzchild radius for the mass of melons that you have. The reason for this is, that at that point you would now have a black hole, entirely formed by melons (which is great) but that makes it so that the melons are no longer melons.
So in short, you have too many melons when the number of melons you have makes it so you have no melons anymore.
I like this answer. Very scientific...
... but what if the objective is a Watermelon Black Hole?
Soo there is no amount of melons that are too many?
William Smith melony hole of oblivion
I think the melons are demelonizing way before they become a black hole.
Are you suggesting that the center of a black hole is in fact not made out of melon? I want proof.
Sheogorath approves of this play strategy.
I hope that in Elder Scrolls 6, they add randomized NPCs by pressing the random button over and over again in their character creator
"Does the game lettuce?" No, but it does watermelon!
Good melony morning
Guard: STOP! You violated the law- *muffled noises*
Spiff: *Spawns more watermelons* More... *Spawns even more* MORE!
"you can leave the arena now"
"I cannot"
"...why..."
"cause... melons..."
"... Why..."
ITS JUST MELONS
You know what's funny, I actually did this exploit the other day and for some reason was completely surprised when it worked.
I also quickly realized that any more than 500 melons being duped at a time would crash the game, however 1000 potions were fine.
I also found that filling a room with melons is an amazing way to level your sneak due to the NPC's not being able to see you, due to the melons.
Spiff there was also a glitch with the bow and arrow that would let you keep the stats of rings and armors you dropped while having them equipped.
YES! Another Elderscrolls video!
Let me get my tea ready
@@thespiffingbrit wombo combo!
Ah yes it better be Yorkshire tea gold
My new Orc Headcanon is that they evolved from melons to fight back against the ever rising Vegan population.
All hail melon race.
not too far from the warhammer canon where orks are fungi
@@calicosiside my question is can i eat a growing orc fungus could I get a orc growing in my body like a parasite
Actually I think you are referring to the Bosmer, hehe. One anti-vegetarian race should be enough.
"we need to create melon man"
*flashback to the last unis annus episode*
"THIS IS MY MAN AND THIS IS MY MELON! thank you... for your sacrifice... melonman..."
NOPE NOPE NOPE
I like unus arse
@@Zachdeadpool annus. it's latin for year. one year.
We need a thicc lady to protect us from Melon Man
"What have you done Melon Man, what have you done?!
You have turned an innocent individual into melons!
There is nothing left, only melons.
Oh wait, there's a leg."
I love this channel
This video:
Oblivion: Leave the arena.
Spiff: Well, I can't. I'm breaking the game.
Oblivion: Alright, hurry up then leave the arena.
Spiff: I can't leave.
Oblivion: What do you mean you can't leave?
Spiff: I can't find the door. There's only melon. ( 21:36 )
Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's only melon"?
Spiff: It mean there's only melon.
Oblivion: Well pick up the melons!
Spiff: Alright, you don't have to shout at me (picks up some melons) There's more melons!
Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's more melons"?!
Spiff: There's just more melons!
Oblivion: Just move the melons out of the way!
Spiff: There's still melons!
Oblivion: Where are you right now?!
Spiff: I'm at melon!
Oblivion: WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE "AT MELON"!?
Spiff: I MEAN I'M AT MELON!
Oblivion: WHAT ARENA ARE YOU IN?!
Spiff: I'M IN THE ARENA FILLED WITH DUPLICATED MELONS!!
Oblivion: WHY ARE YOU DUPLICATING MELONS IN THE ARENA?!
Spiff: FUCK YOU!!
KilledWithStyle PERFECTION 😂😂😂🙃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When the entire universe has been replaced with melons, every star, planet, and speck of dust a melon, with melon people living in melon cities driving melon cars, when there is nothing but green with a red center, then we shall have enough melons...
but only barely.
More Dakka.. i mean Melon.
"CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!!"
"Your Craziness, we're out of cheese..."
"WHAT?? Well what *DO* we have???"
"Watermelons."
"THEN OUR DUTY IS CLEAR!!!"
Most definitely, Lord Sheo
4:48 "a rusty apple" yes my favorite fruit
Yes, you see, the 100 year peeled apple is quite the delicacy among our people.
The guards stood tall, sentinels of security. Watching over their home. Peace. Until they heard it. They heard HIM. “Hello, everybody…” and then they knew. They were no longer safe. Their wives. Their children. They would all perish, under the tide of melons.
Thank you Spiffing Brit, any time I'm having a bad day, all I have to do is watch one of your videos and everything is better.
“It’s watermelon punishment time.” That and the smiling man in the blue shirt was absolutely terrifying.
Three words that nobody wants to hear:
"Deploy the watermelons"
this needs way more likes
Water and melons counts as different words right?
@@deivisony no🤣
Deivison Carvalho no it’s a conjunction crap I haven’t done English in a while I think that was the right word
“I am not Toph, I am Melon Lord! Muahahahaha!!!”
Looking for this one
I was thinking that the whole time, why hasn't he used the name Melon Lord?
Perfection.
The internet thanks you
Spiff in character creation: I’ll just make this monstrosity.
Me: That thing can’t breathe.
"The watermelon grows in Africa as well as Egypt"
Hmmm
smh
Today we learned Egypt isn't part of Africa. Who knew?
@@jasonscarborough94 well if you follow the genetic studies that have been done on the pharos they and the upper castes were actually more middle eastern then sub Saharan black.
The later ones even more so, they even had a number of European traits because they interacted with Greece and rome. (Namely marrying off people for alliances or having kids with 'concubines' imported from far off.
Technically it is part of Africa and Asia. The main portion of Egypt is Africa while the Sinai is part of Asia. But I was equally confused when I heard spiff say that. I’m with you Jason
@@goolabbolshevish1t651 this was about geography mate
"How many melons is too many melons?" Trick question, there can never be too many melons.
don't do this, you're falling for his evil scheme
the spriffing brit also known as “you can’t stop me bethesda, your game is already mine”
"Watermelons come from Africa, but were also in Egypt"
Buddy, you do know Egypt is in the African continent, don't you?
Oh dear, here we go again, technicalities my dear boy. In any case, I'm sure they are different colonies, and hardly the greatest of tea producers, so really of very little interest.
Though, I should say, props to you Rooibos fellows. A fine cup you have there.
He uh... is the Brit.
@@richardchristie1293 Actually Egypt is pretty fanatical about tea too. The Egyptian people drink tea pretty much all the time... even more so than the brits.
In fact, if it wasn't for Egypt the very history of western tea cultures would be very different.
@@richardchristie1293 that's the oddest bit of closet racism I've seen in a while. Mmm k...
@@usern4metak3ns how is that racist ya dunce
Melon man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land where the melons understand, ooohhh Melon man, the voyage to the corner of the melon is a real trip
Melon man, the crust of a tan man imbibed by the melon land
Soaking up the blood thirst of man in melon land.
“Is this Mellon hell?”
-2020’s quote of the year
21:20
I died inside when this was said
well it aint Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness or Millencolin
Lettuce feast upon the water melon god
I swear, between Tod Howard's character creator and Spiff's hand, they need to collaborate with the SCP Foundation to create new horrifying monsters to haunt humanity's nightmares. Another great vid though Spiff, as always.
You mean, like SCP-3521?
SCP-M3L0N
It's Melon Man, he's here to haunt yours, and Uriel Septims, dreams
"Melon man is real, and you can not get away from him."
Five year olds have left the chat.
In case Spif comes back to this game, another spot you can speed up your sneak power leveling is by sneaking around in the jail cell you start in. You can also power level any magic skill by creating a cheap spell that targets self (Ex: Drain stamina to level Destruction.). Finally, it is possible to make a "Bound Equipment" spell item both permanent and equipable by NPC followers by using a repair hammer on it and dropping it.
God, I remember when I was younger and learned how to duplicate items. I went south of Imperial City into that body of water, i then proceeded to duplicate bread, successfully making a small island of bread.
For the love of everything tea. Can we please get a video from Spiff co on the perfect balance of sid meier's civilization beyond earth.
Haha, just playing the game normally is unbalanced.
Oh my, am I early to a Spiff video? *sips yorkshire gold*
Nope, it just started! *Sips yorkshire platinum*
Sips Yorkshire tea gold with malicious intent
"I can't find them"
"What do you mean you can't find them?"
"I can't find them, there's only Melons"
"What do you mean there's only Melons?"
"It means there's only melons"
"Then get outta the Melon aisle"
...
"There's more melons"
"What do you MEAN there's more melons?"
"There's just more melons!"
"GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!"
...
"There's still Melons"
"Where ARE you right now!?"
"I'm AT MELONS"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE AT MELONS-"
"I'M AT WATERMELONS!"
"WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN-"
"I'M AT THE WATERMELON STORE!"
"WHY ARE YOU BUYING DAEDRIC ARMOR AT THE MELON STORE-"
It's almost exactly that conversation, except it's in the Imperial Arena
Code geass abdridged - soup store
If anyone reading this is interested in the reference.
@@pyromasteralex Damn. You beat me to it. Good job.
Pruld's parody of this in dark souls is probably my favorite version of it.
5:20 In all my years playing Oblivion I have never seen Baurus air-cancel an assassin, holy shit.
His corpse landed on top of the stone column, too
My jaw dropped after seeing that
Me neither, I thought it was the result of some mod
Why was 6 afraid of 7? It's a fairly common question, mostly because when people see 6 and 7 next to each other, it doesn't really make sense. 6 is large, muscled, and trained in multiple martial arts, while 7 is fairly average, physically, and short. However, 6's fear of 7 has its roots in childhood. See, 6 and 7 grew up together, and for a few years, they were best friends. But then 6 kissed 3, and they became childhood sweethearts. 7 secretly had feelings for 3, so 7 decided he needed to destroy 6 to win 3's affection. He started subtly, undermining 6 whenever possible with passive aggressive comments and compli-sults. But over time, things got much more insidious. 7 started messing with 6's performance in school, bringing down his grades and turning teachers against him. Even worse, 7 became great friends with 6's parents and slowly turned them against their own offspring. At night, 7 would sneak into 6's bedroom, and whisper depressing and hopeless things into his ears. Every time 3 was around, 7 would pants 6 and make fun of his genitalia, or try to body shame him in other ways. However, 3 was both smart and compassionate, and saw through 7's schemes, sticking with 6, trying to counter 7's psychological tear-down with compliments and friendship. Finally, 7 decided that he would never be able to win 3, so he drugged both 6 and 3, taking them to an abandoned cobbler's hut on the edge of town. There, he proceeded to torture and maim 3, forcing 6 to watch in horror, unable to do anything to save his sweetheart. 7 didn't kill 3, but instead, put her in a semi-vegetative state. 7 cleaned the scene of his prescence, then called the cops, having 6 blamed for 3's condition. 6 was sent to prison, believing 6 was guilty, 6's parents fell into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide over what they believed 6 had done. After serving 17 years of a 30 year sentence, and getting out on good behaviour, 6, now muscled and skilled as a fighter, thought he might get revenge on 7. But when he finally tracked down 7, he found out that 7 had installed a micro-bomb into 3's body, and should he be killed, the bomb would automatically go off and kill 3 as well. And though she was still in a mostly fugue state, 6 couldn't bring himself to hurt her any further, and decided to try and move on with his life. However, being an ex-con, it was difficult for him to get a job. 6 finally found employment at a diner, which 7 then bought, and proceeded to again undermine and toy with 6 at every turn. 6 tried to find employment elsewhere, but 7 contacted any potential employer and soured them against 6. 6 finally realized that no matter what he did, 7 was going to try and ruin his life, and he resigned himself to living as a broken, lonely man, never able to stand up to the depraved, amoral 7.
Yes.
Fun Fact: Todd Howard's house is just packed to the ceiling with melons.
Nah, it's actually packed with all the flawless versions of Bethesda games he's hiding from the public... And mirrors for his inflated ego ;)
@@williamvonbaskerville8275 plot twist! its another skyrim release XD
William von Baskerville his ego isn’t inflated that man is great
@@ECxTheMaster coming soon to the Sega 32x!
@@cpt-cheese3489 I've actually never seen Todd act better than anyone imo he's pretty humble
Toph: "I am melon lord! Muwahahaha!"
Spiff: "you dare challenge me"
Never in my life did I think I would watch a video on MELON LAUNDERING
I love how this was the video that introduced me to spiff I also can't believe that I've been watching for two years
I've been addicted to Yorkshire Tea for the past 4 months because of you. Thanks for that.
3:10 "there are eyes inside his head"
*By the gods Laurence fear it,*
*Fear the Old Blood*
Beast all over the shop...
You'll be one of them...
Sooner or later
@@lordcommissar7813 what are you doing?
*A H O O N T A M U S T H O O N T*
*emerges from fetus*
"They just keep coming and they don't stop coming" thanks now i have all star stuck in my head
5:20 wait, wait why does the "lover" get a spell to paralyze people? that sounds rather illegal
Wow, I never realized that.... but I guess it's also based on the saying "I'm a lover not a fighter"
So who’s gonna tell him he looks like the Chinese knockoff Shrek more than a melon?
My greatest achievement in this game was wiping out every guard I found, everywhere, and collecting their area specific armors and shields. And those wonderful pieces couldnt just be stashed away in a container, so I dropped every single one in the basement of skingrad house. Keep in mind, this is on a 360. When I entered the door, the frame rate dropped to 1 every few seconds. Seriously, you push forward and after a few moments, you're halfway down the stairs. Attempt to turn your view, a few seconds later the screen is overloaded with shiny metal and a rainbow of hold colors. Walk around in super slow-mo amongst the pile, the sounds of all the equipment you walked through happen all at once when the frame refreshes, like a car wreck occurring in your very own basement. The armor appears to be flying around to give some visuals to the accident.
this is the most insane goofballery I've ever witnessed. This is like when a kid reenacts ridiculous scenarios from tv with his action figures. But the commitment here is too devout for words.
"It's splitting... Just like the atom" LOL
The moment when you're actually sorry for the physics engine.
Until you remember reading posts on the nexus where mod authors describe it as the most lazy crap ever thrown together by a bunch of chimpanzees with duck tape and then remember working on it yourself too.
@@goolabbolshevish1t651 Sums up Bethesda nicely.
This is why i love Bethesda games. Not because of the "bugs" that make such a thing even possible, but because you can spawn hundreds or even thousands of physically simulated melons and the game just keeps going, they are all just being simulated like its nothing.
3:13 I think Melon Man took us back in time
(Sung to the tune of Muffin Man)
Do you know the Melon man?
The Melon man?
The Melon man. Do you know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane?
Yes I know the Melon man.
The Melon man?
The Melon man. Yes I know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane.
Let's all go to the Melon man!
The Melon man?
The Melon man! Let's all go to the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane!
(Otherwise, he'll come haunt our dreams, and devour our souls as we slowly but surely get transformed into melons!)
Come on! Let's go!
Let's all go to the Melon man! The Melon man! The Melon man!
Let's all go to the Melon man to save our souls from the Meloning!
;)
Yes we all must go
Glorious! Well done.
I took a stop from staying idle in the future livestream chat to watch this lovely video. As always, Perfect content.
Is nothing sacred?
Spiff: Tea and the Queen. Everything else is free game.
Patrick Stewart was the voice of Uriel Septim, Sean Bean was Martin Septim.
How many melons is too many melons?
This is a trick question, for there is no limited amount of melons. Melons are infinite. Melons are eternal.
Q: How Many Watermelons are there in Oblivion?
A: Yes.
yes
Oblivion: *Dunk
21:22 Well of course it only took one shock spell, they were standing in water(melon).
So.... how mad you think the Queens gonna be when she finds out he called the honorable Sir Patrick Stewart, Sean Bean(also fantastic actor)
Can't he just use the "Lovers" paralyze spell... Thought that was where the whole
"It's the best" bit was going.
Spiff, your play-throughs are absolute nightmare fuel 0.0
I accidentally spawned enough shields in my market district that I literally broke it. My Xbox could never load it again.
Xbox; help me! ....
Oh yeah, the engine + the 360s old hardware definitely didn't like spawning too much stuff at once. Especially since it all collides with itself immediately after being spawned.
Oh I know this feeling. I duplicated over 2000 scrolls before. My xbox handled it but it took ages to pick all of them up because of the lag.
@@TuffMelon wow intelligence
2:40
Cinema version of "Harry Potter And Cursed Child" looks wicked!!
bethesda: nooo you cant just have infinite watermelons!
thespiffingbrit: hehe duplication go brrr
Duping books is really cool looking. It makes crazy folded ribbon patterns in the air. And have you ever messed with paint brushes?
This is one of my favorite videos of yours. I love this game.
Children in Fable 1: "You look like a melon!"
Children in Oblivion: *Non-Existent*
Missed opportunity...
When I heard melon man, I was scared that he was going to choose a redguard
Underrated
Bro I fell asleep while watching this and had a nightmare about melons
Too many melons is not enough MELONS!!!
This is fantastic, me & my friend in high school used to drop thousands of watermelons off the top of Frostcraig spire & ride the wave down the mountain unscathed
one of my favorite spiff videos - a fine job