Don't Repeat Yourself
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- Опубликовано: 19 май 2024
- Charlotte Mason told us to read a lesson or give a directive only once. Is this unrealistic? Is it ever okay to repeat yourself?
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Tags: #CharlotteMason #homeschool
Can you make a video on how to educate your homeschool children, while having smaller children like toddlers, and younger babies? Thank you!
This will be my big challenge this year (in Namibia we start our school year now) I have two toddlers with 3 high schoolers. Last 2 years I had a friend's daughter come as au-pair in the mornings for the littles while we "school", but she is not available this year anymore. .
Hi great question! These two posts have some great tips on homeschooling with younger children at home who aren't yet participating in the school lessons themselves. Please note, that while the titles say "preschoolers" they mean any child before they're in school and both of these posts touch on having babies and toddlers at home while homeschooling your older children.
Homeschooling with Preschoolers in the Mix:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/homeschooling-preschoolers-mix/
Your Questions Answered: Homeschooling with Preschoolers in the Mix:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-homeschooling-with-preschoolers-in-the-mix/
I have a 4 month old 3yr old 5yr old and ADHD and dyslexic 9yr old and a 15yr old....... My 3 and 5 yr old watch educational videos or color ,play with fidget toys, Legos , playdough, clay, sand ECT ECT while I'm reading and doing lessons with my 9yr old the baby sits on my lap or in a baby wrap. Doing things around nap times and having quiet things for the young kids to do while your working with the older ones is helpful. You can RUclips homeschool with babies and toddlers for a ton of ideas.
This video came right in time. Homeschooling my 6 yo with a 3 & 2 yo has become challenging. My 6 yo isn’t paying attention lately. These are tips I will be trying first thing tomorrow for his lessons. Thank you!
Glad this post was timely for you! Please reach back out and let us know how it goes and if you have any additional questions!
I love this video. It’s basically parenting advice!
I need more parenting advice disguised as home school advice.
Hi, Thanks for joining us! Charlotte Mason believed that parents had a high calling when it came to raising their children and helping them establish good habits. She believed that the education of children was more than just what they learned during structured formal "school work" and that they learned a lot from the atmosphere of their environment. Here is a great post that expands more on these ideas.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/atmosphere-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
"You start a conversation you can't even finish it
You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed
Say something once, why say it again?"
~ Talking Heads
You are my people✨lol
Thanks for joining us!
Clicked this video so quickly because my kids tend to tune out my voice. Now i know why. Other people speak and their attention is perked. Definitely will be implementing this.
Thank you for joining us, so glad you found these tips helpful!
Thanks for the repetition. Lol. I know I shouldnt shout across the room but often don't think about that.
It's easy for us all to do sometimes without even realizing we're doing it! Thanks for joining us, glad you found this episode helpful!
This is pure gold !!! Thank you so very much for creating this. Thank you! I’m praying for all parents and children and lots of encouragement for all homeschooling Moms too🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for your kind words and feedback and for extending your prayers over our homeschooling community and parents overall!
Thank you! The practical tips right at the end are exactly what I needed to hear!
You're very welcome, so glad this was helpful to you!
I think attention with both children and adults have gotten so much worse with all the devices around us. Rewind, re-watch, or re-listen at the click of a button Lord knows I am guilty myself.
Thank you for a fantastic lesson Sonya.
You're very welcome! These are great points!
As a mother of a child with ADHD (with attention disorder most significant) I am so use to repeating... Sometimes, I begin to think that it's getting worse, or at least not improving, even though my daughter is already 12 years old. I will make an effort to repeat less and try to implement some of your advice. Thank you.
Thank you for joining us and sharing your experience! If you have not seen it yet, you may enjoy this episode that is specific to ADHD and also touches on how this mother targets habits with her child.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/charlotte-mason-homeschooling-with-adhd/
Thank you so much for sharing!
You are so welcome!
Hi Sonya, I have been enjoying your videos. My kids are teenagers and I don't homeschool, but I am still finding some of your videos helpful in parenting them. Thank you for putting so much thought and effort into them. :)
Thank you very much for sharing your kind words and feedback! There are so many things about the Charlotte Mason approach that can be implemented into our homes even if we do not homeschool. Here is a post on just that if you are interested in learning more about how you can incorporate Charlotte Mason's methods into your home when you don't homeschool.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/charlotte-mason-when-you-dont-homeschool/
I teach public school, and the amount of times I repeat myself is ungodly. The students often can’t and do not know how to actively listen, and it is a very frustrating environment.
You are in charge of the room. Do the right things and expect them to follow. Some will make it, some will not. Repeating and or doing the wrong things will only net negative results. Humans cannot be taught, they can only learn. Put out the best version of the lesson, let them soak it in and learn it. You cannot force it in by teaching.
Thank you both for joining us and sharing your thoughts on this topic! Here is another post on repeating yourself for anyone who is interested in some additional tips. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
@@SimplyCharlotteMason I just found out I am pregnant. Yay! But I have been telling my husband about this channel and my interest in Charlotte Mason Education. I have never heard for her before your videos.
Love this video. Thank you so much!
You are so welcome!
@@SimplyCharlotteMason a video like this could change someone’s life. I quit homeschooling because I lost someone and for a time through the grieving I didn’t feel j could be emotionally available to do a good job…. I reluctantly put them back in the public school battlefield, I didn’t think they were strong enough….my 9 year old struggled very much - I have been trying to decided wether or not to go back to homeschooling --this series of videos has given me the encouragement to give it another try-maybe next year. God bless you so much!
Thank you for your thorough explanation and advice on this topic. This may work on adults, too.
Absolutely, so much of Charlotte Mason's wisdom applies to people in general!
I struggle with this. 1 have an 8y/o, 3y/o, and a 4mo/old. When doing lessons with my eldest, I always struggle to get good lesson time in. There are always distractions with the younger two. The baby cries when it is school time, and teething makes it harder. When my baby is napping, it becomes the toddler who interrupts. He does his preschool time but still tries to get attention during my oldest's lessons. It has become impossible to read. We have to shout over the noise because it almost never ends. We get no quality reading or storytime anymore. I will read the baby books first to entertain the youngest, but they dislike when I switch to 3rd grade level. I can never wait for the interruption to stop, because it never does... I wish I knew what to do😢
Thank you for sharing your experience! It is difficult to balance the needs of each individual child, especially when you have children at different ages and younger children who want their needs met right now. It sounds like you have already started with some good ideas using those nap times, addressing the needs of the younger children first, etc. These posts have some helpful tips and encouragement. Remember that this is a season and it will get easier!
Homeschooling with Preschoolers in the Mix:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/homeschooling-preschoolers-mix/
Your Questions Answered: Homeschooling with Preschoolers in the Mix:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-homeschooling-with-preschoolers-in-the-mix/
While it may not be ideal, are you able to do some of the subjects later in the day when dad is home to care for the needs of the younger children. Could the literature reading for example become a bed time read aloud when you have that extra support present? For the lessons during the day, you may need to start very short and work your way up while you are establishing habits with your toddler. As you mention, continuing to read over the noise is not a great environment for your oldest to be paying full attention and not need a repetition. As mentioned in the posts above, start small with your toddler but start to teach him to play quietly by himself and not interrupt the lesson. Maybe this starts with five minutes and reinforce it and slowly build up. Another great time to read can be during mealtimes or snack times, have the table set and then let your child know what your expectations are for that time in advance. Again, start small and maybe you are only reading a small chunk of the lesson and then coming back to it later in the day. Work with all of your children and where they are right now toward your goal of that complete uninterrupted lesson with your older child. For most lessons this goal is 15-20 minutes tops for third grade. You may need to take more breaks throughout your day and alternate activities with your three year old and eight year old. Your three year old will see that they are getting that attention and time and their new habit is being rewarded. Another idea is coming up with an activity that they can do at the table with you while your older student is working. Can the three year old have their own set of manipulatives that only come out during math time? If they are disruptive they lose this activity time and have to go do something else. It will take some planning, hard work, and patience but habits can be formed and improved!
Thanks so much
You're welcome!
Execellent, thank you very much.
You are welcome!
This has been on my mind a lot lately. Good timing! Question: we use the natural consequence of not repeating a lesson. The child is disappointed by missing the lesson. That works real well for school. Suppose you told the child to get dressed or do unload the dishwasher (which they know how to do), and they get distracted. I've been told that a child should 'obey right away.' Is that a Charlotte Mason idea? Like you tell the child to get dressed and 10 minutes later you find they aren't. Could you just tell them they can come to breakfast when they are dressed? That in my mind, would add to the inattention and repetition. If the child gets distracted or doesn't quickly do a chore, do you take it away as you would a lesson? That might be a reward for some children.
Thanks for joining us and for posing these excellent questions! While a lot of things can become an obedience issue, as you point out, here the underlying problem in these scenarios is the inattention. They are not finishing the task because they are distracted not because they are trying to defy you. We would recommend that you work on that. As you also point out, it is very important to think through our consequences and the natural consequences and choose those that will shape the habit we want to encourage.
For more on natural consequences check out this post:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/natural-consequences/
For more on focusing on replacing the "bad habit" with the good habit you want to establish check out this post:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-and-a-breaking-a-bad-habit/
Also recently Sonya Shafer did a collaboration with Ginger Hubbard on breaking bad habits and not creating obedience issues where another habit is really the issue was touched on, you may find this very helpful:
www.gingerhubbard.com/blogs/podcast/episode-155-breaking-bad-habits-in-children-with-sonya-shafer
Charlotte Mason did also advocate for obedience and targeting this habit early on with our children. You can read more about Charlotte Mason's thoughts on obedience and targeting that habit here:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/authority-and-obedience-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/5-ways-to-work-on-the-habit-of-obedience/
A very thoughtful answer, thank you for that.
I’m going use this on my future husband, that way when the children arrive I will have a strong habitual foundation already established
While habits can be learned and improved on at any time in our lives and children will learn from watching you improve on your own habits, it is also never too early to get started when you see an area of habit training that you would like to incorporate! Having a good foundation of communication, a united front when it comes to priorities for habit training, and consistency will all help in habit training any children. If your children experience that neither mom or dad repeat themselves, this will further reinforce to them a habit of good attention and careful listening the first time.
Here is another post on the importance of the atmosphere of the home that you may be interested in: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/atmosphere-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
How do I know when to postpone the book? Or how do I handle a difficult book? My 7 year old granddaughter did well most days narrating Understood Betsy. The Little Duke contains so many unknown words that narration often grinds to a halt. I have done short passages, explained words in advance. I help my daughter by reading one lesson a day. Struggling with this book. We are 60 pages in and my granddaughter still struggles with the main characters partly because each character has many different names: regular name, various names based on position or location or family. Just recently she asked me "What is a Frank?" I told her it was another name for the French. Thank you for your help!
Hi, Great questions! Not all families or children will connect with every resource. If a resource is becoming a struggle or frustration for your family, you are always welcome to put it aside. You could perhaps pick it up again later, but you do not have to! Some strategies when a book is difficult include: picking out some key terms for the child to listen to as you read, reading it yourself and narrating what you have read to the child, or having your child draw while you read or narrate and then narrate your drawings. Charlotte Mason did use narration with literature selections, however at SCM we recommend just enjoying the literature selections together and saving narration for: History, Bible, Geography, and Science books. You can make the choice as to what you feel works best for your family! This post gives some helpful ideas as to when you may want to require narration. For example, with some of the scheduled historical fiction books in the SCM History/Bible guides, they are there to give the child a good feel for the time period, these may not always be books that you want your child to remember information from and narrate back to you. You can read more here:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/magic-numbers-narration-q-part-10/
Narration is the telling back of what the individual learned or connected with so unless there is a factual inaccuracy, there is no "right answer." Sometimes it can be helpful to use some creative narration ideas to encourage attention to the selection and the narration that follows, these ideas may be helpful to you:
simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/narration/
Thank you!
I would like to set up a counseling appointment please!!!, I have a 16 year old stepdaughter it’s really hard for both of us, at this point I don’t know any more, I don’t know what to do but searching for help
We would love to help in any way we can. You can schedule a free call with one of our consultants here: simplycharlottemason.com/store/personal-consultation/
We can also help through email or live chat: simplycm.com/contact
How do you break the habit of repeating when that’s been the only way you’ve operated? How do you set a “clean slate” expectation to grow from?
Excellent question! When we think about habits if we have any "bad habits" in ourselves or in our children what we would recommend is that you work to replace it with the "good habit" that you would like to see. Here are a couple of helpful posts that explain this process:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/too-often-habit-is-the-frustrator/
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-and-a-breaking-a-bad-habit/
This post gives some helpful tips as to how to respond when you give the direction once and the child does not complete the task that you gave them. Pre thinking how you will respond when this inevitably happens may be helpful! Just as repeating yourself has become automatic for you, your children now expect that repetition to happen.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Whenever you are introducing a new habit to your children or changing the way you are going to respond to your children, it can be helpful to pull them aside and explain this new expectation to them and what your goal is. If they are older, you can let them know that you are going to come alongside them to help them learn this new habit. This post specifically gives tips for habits and older children if that applies to your family.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-and-a-starting-with-older-children-dealing-with-negativity/
Last, we all have triggers for our habits. It is hard to change something that has become automatic. You may want to think of some triggers that will remind you of what your new habit is in this area. This post is helpful for giving you some ideas of how to do this. It may just be a post it on the fridge or somewhere in your house where you frequently are when you speak to your kids that remind you that you are only going to say it once.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/parents-spotlight-trigger-habit-training-part-3/
How do you set expectations upfront with the child? what level of detail is appropriate as a minimum, can you give an example?
Great question! This post gives some additional information as to how to set this up with your child:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Here is a great post on how to get started with habit training in general:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-a-introduction-to-habit-training/
It will depend on your child's age. You will want to give them an age-appropriate explanation of what your expectation is of them. They will also learn from the natural consequence as described in the above posts!