Last Story - I was an instructor of martial arts and I'm amazed that the instructor did not immediately make the step-son removed the stripe. That was in poor taste to put that on his belt.
Indeed. In the dojo I studied at, stripes were important in determining the person's skills. White belt was the lowest, then yellow belt, then yellow belt with white stripe (which was really just a piece of white first aid tape added the the yellow belt) and then green belt, then green belt with a white stripe, etc. Adding a stripe on your own is massively disrespectful to the discipline you're studying. There's tests. And the higher up you get in ranking, the more skilled you're assumed to be, so you learn more complicated and potentially dangerous (if you're poorly trained) things. So it's disrespectful and potentially setting the kid or someone else up to get hurt.
@@jenniferhanses Same with me. I used to learn Taekwondo, like 10 years ago, and to get to the next level, you had to pass tests and during the next practice, the instructor would give you the new belt (or adding the strip) in front of the whole students, kinda like a ceremony. And even if my dojo had almost 100 students, someone coming in with a new belt color, or a new strip, would definitely became the center of bad attention.
He wanted more time with his friends, and Melanie was very attached. I'm taking a guess here, but I think Melanie was too clingy and whined about him spending time with his friends instead of her.
@@velvety2006 Not to mmention there was a reason (more time with friends) not more needed to say as reason. And what mit baffles "he didn't break up in the right way" cause, wtf is the right way for a break up? If a parent came to me, tot alk to my child cause child didn't break up the right way, my first question were "what is the right way for/ to break up? In my experience and opinion there is never a right way for a break up, its every time wrong how you do it and in the end minimum one person that is hurt, sometimes both. What a bullshit to say.
@@SebastianDPunkt The only possible 'right way' i can think of is when both parties agree the relationship does not work anymore. but this counts more for adults, married people, and young adults who might to a college on a different side of the country. teenagers don't have that development in their brain yet
@@SebastianDPunkt breakups hurt and suck at any age but especially as a teenager since it's usually the 1st one or the 1st "big" break up of a relationship. Guarantee if Melanie had dumped OP's son no way would her mother be calling OP to apologize about her daughter's actions. Heartaches and breakups are just something the vast majority of us will have to learn to deal with and part of Melanie's mom's job at this age is to help her through this.
S1: Calling it. The b/f is a hobose*ual, and mom is simping for him. Sounds like OP's late dad made the right choice signing the house over to him! Glad he got through to mom, but I doubt it'll last.
Yes!! He's going to go work one day and come back to the boyfriend all moved in. Mom's going to give him the ultimatum that if he goes then she does too.
@@YvonneFobbs Yup and I hope OP sticks to his rule- no 50 year old mooch moving into OP's home whereh is 18 year old sister lives along with his desperately needy mom who was targeted by a hobos*xual.
In this economy, renting and being unable to afford a house even in adults is very common. It doesn't make sense if they do get married that one of them is paying rent. OP isn't going to let the guy move in even if they do get married, many boys hate their mothers dating again. I mean it's been years, bet mom didn't bring him around because he's one of those mommas boys who belive their mother should just be happy as a widow. This relationship is ruined unfortunately mom will resent him and her late husband more and more. I mean if I heard my husband was planning on leaving me homeless after raising his children I'd have divorced him then and there. At least with alimony and a job I might be able to save up enough for a down-payment or reverse mortgage. And yes he did leave her homeless, unless OP is fine with his mother living there with his own wife and kids. Not many women would approve of that either. Mom is heading for a retirement home at this rate.
She was with him for 2 years. It’s super unfair for her kids to not want her to move on. Also it’s wild the dad left marital property not to the wife, that’s her home! I’m sure they got it before OP was of age. But I would never put myself in this situation where I had to depend on someone else for my basic needs.
Come on break ups aren't ever good. Not wanting to be with someone cause you don't want a relationship is smart. If they don't like hearing that then it is time they work on their resilience.
Yes. Things sure must have changed since I took martial arts training. Someone inflating their own rank like that would have been given a very vocal rebuke and told to do 50-100 push ups on their knuckles and fixing their belt to the proper rank before taking part again.
What in the story makes you think he's targeting the daughter? Op says the guy and his mom have been dating for 2 years! They only meet him 8 month prior and he thinks it's a bit too soon. Not every older man is a predator.
You've got brain rot from being on Reddit to much. There's literally nothing in the story that indicates that. The boyfriend is dating an age appropriate woman but you've jumped the assumption he's only interested in the teen. That's disgusting
What?...... she dated a man 4 years after her husband died? Lol. The audacity of this woman. How dare she betray a man who left her with NOTHING.... left her daughter NOTHING. And gave all control to her 18 year old son. Yea... the Dad sounds lovely. Can't imagine why the mom found another loser trying to take advantage of her. She clearly attracts that type.
@@samanthasmiles9112 Are you intentionally missing the point? Also, he left mom and sister separate amounts of money and his son lets them live rent free in a home he now owns. They were most definitely not left with nothing. Comparing the guy trying to move into a free house to the man that bought, paid for, and supported a family in that house is even more audacious than the dude trying to move in on a widow. It has nothing to do with mom cheating on dead dad, that's ridiculous and I hope you know it and are just doing the feminist grifter thing.
@@johnowen9349 Yeah many commenters miss important points or have a very very very bad text/ language understanding. It sounds more like, the son gets only the house, and all money got to mom and sis. And imho Op doesn't like the new So ogf om enough to live with him, but not more. No disliking mom moved on and so on, only didn't want to live with him. What is legitimate.
@@johnowen9349the house should have been left to the mother, and in any normal country, that would have been her house too during the marriage. You're conveniently skipping over the part where the teenage son is expected to take care of his parent just because of his gender
So you wpuld rather screw over your wife for moving on years after your death. I hope you don't actually have daughters because anyone whoprocreates with you made a huge mistake.
So you're calling the son sleezy?? It seems like the boyfriend is the one who is sleazy! The mother is sleazy because if she gets married she's expecting the son to take care of her and the boyfriend by living in the son's house! How dare you put your immoral idea of the world on somebody else's family! If the mother wants to get remarried then her new husband needs to take care of her not the son! Sounds like the father did exactly what he needed to do and he had the foresight to know what was good and what was going to be good and bad.....
What part of the story gave any indication that a sleazy POS would take away a house? The house should have been passed on to the mother, it was her house too.
It may be a cultural difference, but it is clearly good sense. Mother, if she owned the house would very likely do what men do; become enmeshed with a new partner and then lose it to a new partner. It happens far too often for the son to be wrong in expecting his Mother to live with her new husband and NOT with him moving into their family home!
Story№3: NTA!! Mom needs to tell her daughter that break ups are a part of life! She also said that it doesn't matter how girls treat their boyfriend! That's toxic and probably why he broke up with her!! Good on hom for standing up for his son!!
Melanie was very attached. My guess is she was clingy only wanted the son to spend with her and got jealous whenever a female gave him attention. His friends pointed it out and he dumped her.
@@velvety2006 The son said he broke up with Melanie "because he wanted to spend time with his friends." It sounds as if she wanted to have all his time and attention and demanded he not spend any time with his friends. That's a valid reason to break up with her.
S1: So if the mom owned the house, yall would be ok with her moving the bf in against the will of the other two people in the house? Given how many of those stories go, I wouldnt want a 50 y.o guy idk like that around my 18 y.o sister. Culturally, OP has done right by his mom. If she wants to be with him so bad, they needto figure out a new living situation for themselves
Of the mom owned the house then it would be HER right to move whomever she wanted to regardless of anyone else's feelings because LEGALLY she would've been the owner. ersonally I think it would be immoral because your kids come first but she would've had they law on her side. Buuuuut, since it's NOT her house, she has no right to bring random men into a home she doesn't own.
You are correct. He is protecting his sister. Situation like this can escalate to SA. How dare this woman try to move a grown man in with her daughter. It is a good thing op is an adult and a man.
Last Story: Is the last commenter the mother... seriously the step dad and brother are the only ones trying to help, advice and actually protect him the mother is just placating and failing to do anything that will actually help him.
It was the implication that "female influence" is why the stepson is like he is on the OP's behalf. The "discipline" thing in the beginning makes me think OP's son is going to grow up to be one of those men that never communicate feelings and just channels it all into physical activity rather than learning coping skills. That's a volatile mix. There was no need to even make it clear his son had "no female influence" until he got married again unless it was on OP's mind. Words have meanings and letting slip certain things give an indication of people's mindset because they're very rarely cognizant of what they give away--- politicians are people who are experts at being aware of what and how they say things. At any rate we can be certain the "female influence" thing is important in OP's mind whether he's doing it consciously or subconsciously.
I think ESH in the bracelet story; OP is shooting down every compromise her bf makes and then has the audacity to say he's not willing to compromise.. and then the bf seems to be doing all of this of his own accord without asking the ex if she even wants the bracelet back, which makes it sound like he really is just looking for an excuse to see her.
Yeah, something's rotten in Denmark. First the ex lives too far, doesn't have a car. Now ex has moved to their city. I suppose OP could go with on the drop off, but it kind of seems like OPs BF is "keeping his options open". How did this bracelet end up in his stuff after only some 7 day fling way back?
I mean...the comment is correct. The mother should have inherited the house. It is her job to take care of the children, not vice versa. The fact that a 20yo son is elevated above his own mother because of his gender makes that culture inferior
@@Vasilia4just because you don’t understand their culture doesn’t make it wrong or inferior. What I DO have an issue with is how OP kept saying “it’s her house too and she has every right to it but he can’t move in.” Which is it? She has every right or she doesn’t?
If it's your house, you have the say on who lives in it. Stand your ground. It's not "her" house if her name isn't on the deed. She can live in her boyfriend's place, not yours.
Wow, don't even care that the dead husband just left his wife who was faithful through his whole life homeless? Like even if boyfriend doesn't move in, is OP going to let his mother live their when he is ready for marriage, will his wife. I doubt it. That poor women is heading for a home, this is literaly financial abuse as OP talks about how he is supposed to take care of mom and she probably has no money of her own in those types of cultures. Also by the way he says his culture it sounds like his mom is not of the same culture as his father, so even worse. She was baby trapped without ever knowing it.
@@demonheart13 You didn't even listen to the beginning of the story did you? Him taking care of his mother is one thing but he is saying that if she gets remarried it's her new husband's responsibility to take care of her, not his! And his late father left her enough money that she could have gotten a place of her own. It sounds more like the father knew exactly what the mother was like and that the sun would be much more responsible and do a much better job of taking care of the home and the sisters. The mother sounds like a very flighty flaky piece of work! The father did a very good job by leaving the sun the house. And how dare you put your immoral idea of the world on to somebody else in another country! You have no right to say what is best or what is better or what needs to be done or not need to be done for someone else's situation.
@@demonheart13 Missed the part where op said mom was left money in the will? So she isn't abused or left with nothing. And why has Op as owner to elt new So live with him? And if Op gets a wife, when he really cares about his mother he looks/ gets a wife who is ok to life with him and his mom. Such women exist in this world. Why asuming wife of the son would not life with MIL or want her kick out? And Op didn't mention culture, he said in his fathers family it get down to sons cause they look after their mothers, so crazy it might sound, its not only cultural its also a thing in familys of western countrys. Its very old and not common any more, but exists.
@demonheart13 She got money in the will. She wasn't left nothing. Jesus Christ you guys act like if you don't give a woman the world, you didn't do enough. Now flip the rolls around and you guys wouldn't bat an eye. The double standards from you people is just absolutely obnoxious at this point.
Mmmm… I’m lacking details here. Op’s son had every right to end the relationship for whatever reason, but the thing up for discussion seems to HOW he ended the relationship exactly, which is never detailed in the post. (So far, anyway 😄 9:07 )
@@susankaempfer8427 one of the comments mentioned that they think OP is jerk raising a jerk because high school kids lack empathy and he probably dumped her in a cruel way or some BS like that. Which is why IF the son did that, the topic of discussion should be how he broke it off not that he broke it off. And the fact that mom seemed to be mad that her daughter got dumped means that's not what was for discussion.
@ I think we all want to know exactly HOW he dumped her, and I find it odd that either op knows and conspicuously failed to tell us, or didn’t bother to ask the mother what the actual problem was… 🤷🏻♀️🤔
@@susankaempfer8427 then mom needs to be an adult and talk about the actual problem. Breaking up with the girlfriend isn't a problem, the reason isn't the problem. If it was cruel then that's what the mom needs to say.
The story specifically has the girls mother state it was "how" he broke up with her, not why. The why is unimportant provided there was no cheating/abuse, the how on the other hand, Op needs to be a parent in that regard and teach their son that its how you do things that matter, its the difference between been a gentleman and a scrub.
So, so many stories on the internet of widow marrying someone and them kicking out the children while he tales over including transferring part ownership to him. And what’s with the arrogant YTA? He disapproves of OP’s culture? Wow, god like entitlement!
Story 1: NTA - men take care of the women right? So your mothers husband should take care of her. -- it’s called getting a mooch as a partner & protecting your assets
Story#1: LMAO! The father knew the mother was flighty and would end up kicking out the kids from the house the husband wanted for his kids. LOL! If the mother wants to live with her man, then go be with her man. However, bringing another man into that sanctuary should be a no-no. I love how mature the son is. He didn't try to throw his mother out, even after she threw a tantrum and decided to stop speaking to him. However, she is immature. Don't try to move a guy into a home you share with two other people who don't know him! I'm glad OP's dad didn't leave her the house. She would squander that resource.
Do these people not know that packages get stolen very often? It's a piece of jewelry for heaven's sake!!! I would never put jewelry in the post. That''s just stupid
Yeah, like I agree that if the boyfriend had insisted on travelling 4 hours alone to meet up with an old fling that would be suspicious. But he offered to bring OP and make a trip of it. And then when the fling moved to the same city just drop it off. OP is being super jealous
If he sends the package that requires a signature, USPS will not deliver the package if the recipient isn't home. They will leave a slip instructing where it can be picked up. UPS is a different story altogether.
@@GeorgieB1965 do you know how they verify the recipient is there, its kindof scary when you think about it. They simply ask "are you X?" when you open the door and then when told yes, merely go "sign here", they do not ask to see ID if you opened the door to the address on the package and they do not verify signatures at all (i've litterally signed for stuff with a quick squiggle that looks nothing like my actual signature). This is general package delivery, not personal courier delivery who will ask for ID and verify recipient, they'll take minimal reasonable measures. Hell even my food deliveries are more secure (they ask for a 4 digit code that only i have). Now if you or no one else answers the door they'll leave a message with a collection location but they generally will hand off anything to anyone willing to sign for stuff. If they could get your dog to sign, they would do.
NTA in eldest son taking care of family. The mom has a new provider, and op I still providing for his sibling as he must NTA in HS breakup. Notice how everyone assumes he was bad in how he did it. Not once did the mom try to say the break-up was done mean or evil.
Necklace Story: The boyfriend invited OP along with him to make a vacation day out of it. If she still thinks he's going to cheat or has feelings for Gina, she needs to end the relationship because he will see what an unreasonably jealous control freak she is and end it himself.
What is his last comment in the last story get this kind of nonsense and thinking that the whole family does not like the stepson? Did they even read the story I’m guessing no?
Mom's too hung up on SS getting his "participation trophy" rather than going thru the process of training. In no way should she have changed his rank designation on her own. Her actions are leading her son to be ridiculed. I'm more surprised that the dojo hasn't reprimanded him for faking clout.
Why is she a witch??? Lol. Because she decided to date again 4 years after her husbands death? The audacity of some people to date again. Don't they know random ass people in the youtube comments expect her to never be happy every again? I guess she didn't get the memo.
S1: NTA…. more parents should leave the homes they paid for to their children, and not to the spouse who will end up finding a loser mooch who will benefit from the deceased person’s hard work while leaving their children with nothing, cause so many widowed people seem to crap on their kids for their new partner. glad OP was able to get through to their Mom, something about that boyfriend is giving gold digger.
@@Azulakayes Who is this "we" here? Is it the skewed and prejudiced view of the world that you got brewing in your head by listening to too many sensationalist reddit stories? It's very simple: remarried spouses that work well and are normal do not get onto reddit and youtube, and you do not get to hear about them.
You've got literally no reason to think he isn't stable. Maybe he lives in an area the mum doesn't like, or will make it difficult to see her kids. Maybe it's an apartment and the mum doesn't want to live in one. When couples move in together someone has to be the one who leaves their existing place so why are you assuming the absolute worst here.
@@AussieRider20 lol whatever, they only known him for 8 months. No way in hell I would let him move in. If 2 out of the 3 don't want him, then kick rocks.
@@nicoleblyth9792 IF he's financially stable, then he and the mom can find another place if his is insufficient for them together. They shouldn't be making OP accept this BF he's known for LESS than a year permanently into OP'S home that's in his name alone!
There is no way I'd mail something of value. Yeah there is insurance but money doesn't bring back sentimental items. You do not trust him so stop being in a relationship with him.
THANK YOU! Especially if this is in the US.... the mail service is just so unreliable these days.... and am those people saying it's weird he won't mail it seem to completely overlook that he ASKED OP TO COME WITH HIM. She seems extremely hung up on...."I'm uncomfortable so you HAVE to respect my feelings over yours" you can feel uncomfortable, but that does not mean you get your way. At least he was trying to find a compromise. O think the boyfriend should watch for any additional red flags.
Bracelet story: Man OP and BF both are showing some red flags. The BF does seem weirdly obsessed with delivering the bracelet in person. The OP is being hypocritical, demanding that the BF MUST return the bracelet the way OP wants it done while claiming that the BF is the one who won't compromise despite the BF offering multiple compromise. The OP is also an idiot for basically complaining that the BF isn't caring about OP's feelings, while ignoring that she's ignoring the BF's feelings.
One unanswered question: How did the bracelet actually wind up in BF suitcase? It is pretty difficult to mix up belongings if you are not sharing a room or in extremely close proximity to each other and their luggage. That sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Bracelet story: OP sounds like a jealous AH who's going to use, "respect MY feelings," means "You always need to do what I say because FEELINGS." Yeah, that dude needs to RUN.
The commenter on the Gina story saying you need to respect his feelings. If your boyfriend wants to sleep with another woman, no you don't need to respect their feelings. Either they change that line of thinking real quick, or its time to end it and move on.
The desire for men to be wrong makes people’s opinions in stories sound like they don’t read them. In the belt stepson story, the stepdad clearly loves his stepson the right amount, trying to help him get better but not overstepping or overruling mom, the mom loves him too much, and is coddling him as shown by mommy diy belt. What does a misandrist commenter write? “You both don’t love your step son enough.” What was the actual issue in the story: mommy coddling him.
I thought we were all for cultural tolerance now. So how come everyone wants to discount the context of Culture in S1? Remember that this man is also from this culture, so he knows what he's trying to do is highly inappropriate. That suggests he probably has ulterior motives.
Because everyone who is born into a "culture" vows at birth to adhere to it without individual variation or judgments of right and wrong, and the "culture" MUST be the most conservative, most toxic version of it possible. /sarcasm.
Gina's bracelet story: The fact that he didn't know she moved means he planned the whole road-trip without ever contacting Gina. Didn't throw her a message 'hey found your bracelet, know it means a lot to you.' to see how she'd want it returned. I've got a feeling we're dealing with a severe case of enthusiastic dum-dum here, not malice. Op needs to ask her BF for Gina's contact info and force him to get in touch with her while OP's in the room, to guide him in properly communicating.
Meh. I feel like maybe the “mutual” decision that they aren’t good as a pair might have been mostly Gina and the bracelet is his excuse to see her face to face and gauge interest. If he reaches out and she says “that? Oh, just bin it.” Then his one and only excuse to insert himself into her day is gone. 🤷🏻♀️ I also feel like if op is that doubtful that early on, she should maybe just move on, instead of doing the “prove I matter more than her” thing.
That bracelet story - if the controlling girl was a dude Reddit would have screamed for her to run away from him cause he’s a red flag. Hypocrisy at its finest.
1 story I think the husband did a great job leaving it to his son. The only thing I would change is made it so that the daughter and son both co own the house.
Last story.. the last commenter is exactly what's wrong with society today. They understand the utility of what is considered "tough love" but will criticize the idea because of sad intellectualism and the need to criticize for its own sake.. Like the first story, which disagreed on principle, even though that principle protected for exactly what the dead father wanted
S1. NTA. The house belongs to OP. If the mother wants to marry, she needs to move in with her. Im so tired of people not supporting other cultures. Not every country thinks and acts the same. And what kind of 50 year old man wants to live in a widows house. That is a very good question.
11:00 Umm maybe he just thinks OP is being stupid, selfish, and insecure. He asked her to go with him. At this point, he needs to drop it off just to assert his own boundaries.
I am always a little confused by the high school sweethearts thing. I didn’t want my kids to be mean about breakups but I also wanted them to have many relationships because of the ability to learn how to say ‘no’ and to be able to start, keep or lose relationships is a good learning model for life. I did have to speak to one child about breaking up because I felt their latest event lacked empathy and consideration and they improved for the next one. That’s about all we can reasonably expect. I would have (and was) unhappy about any serious relationships that lasted more than 6 or so months while still in school. I wanted them to explore while being responsible and careful of others feelings. Both of them have permanent relationships that started a long time after school which is what I preferred (but had no control over.)
It’s better to be a bit of a jerk when you break up with someone so that they don’t want you back. So that they don’t plan for you for months. So that they don’t think you might still have lingering feelings. With the Mom had preferred he said we’re not right for each other right now? Keep her on the hook forever?
The bracelet story, it's a cheap bracelet, I get that it has sentimental value but it's still just a bracelet that OP's bf is planning to give back to his ex-fling, also it's a 4 hour drive. For just a flimsy bracelet. I don't get how OP is considered jealous when her boyfriend plans to drive 4 hours to drop off a freaking bracelet to someone he had slept with a few times. I just don't see what others are. Who knows if he is the type to cheat, maybe this is more than just dropping off the bracelet. We really can't say because we don't know what's going on in that head of the bf's. Has he even called Gina about dropping off her bracelet? I don't know, maybe OP has a right to feel uncomfortable when she doesn't know what is going to happen when he drops off the bracelet.
Bracelet He could tell her he found it and then just hold onto it until she can come and get it or you and him happen to be going that way. Or he can ask her if she wants it mailed someplace. It is scetch he wants to drive it to her like that.
With the gf moving into the ops place and the daughter throwing a small tantrum about it made me think of my partners next door neighbours call two years ago me and my bestfriend now partner were having a nap as we drove alot that day and his neighbour called him and was drunk saying "oh is this why your sons mad all the time your gf is in your bed besides his mumma!" We weren't together when the call happened and my partner at the time best friend screamed at her for being so rude towards me we were only friends at the time and gave each other comfort due to being single
Why would the boyfriend want to move into another man’s house? Why would the mother want to marry a man that can’t provide for her? Why doesn’t the mother move out with her new boyfriend after all, her children are adults now. The son is correct on this one and mom doesn’t know she’s being manipulated.
Story 1, part of the timeline gets muddled by OP. using current years for reference to make it all clear. Dad dies in 2020, Mom starts dating this guy in 2022, introduces him to the family finally in early 2024. Near the end of the story he's still saying she's moving him in after only 8 months. What he didn't clarify was that was only how long the KIDS have known him. Either way, he's NTA, it's HIS house, he gets to say who lives there, not his Mom. She wants to live and eventually marry her BF, that's her choice, at that time, she moves out and goes off to live with her new BF, and his Sister can either stay in her family home with the brother, or make the choice herself if she wants to go with mom or even move out on her own. Could care less about the "cultural" thing as to why he was given the house, in the end, it doesn't matter. The house is his, he sets the rules on who lives there, and if mom doesn't like it, tough luck.
"Its her house and she has every right to it" unless of course she wants to have a say in the home 🙄🙄🙄 i cannot imaine being left with no rights to my marital home. Sure you can ask to postpone. But jc.
First Story: Just how many times have we heard step-parent stories where the bio parent moves on and leaves their bio children in the dirt in order to meet their own needs with their new sex toy? How many evil step-parent stories do we need to hear before it makes absolute sense to leave things to the children? His mom is ready to move this dude in and play sugar-momma to him, while he pays none of the bills. Would you even want to model that behavior to your children? Marry a widow and you can live rent free and lord over her children and play games all day. Granted, he seems nice now, but he's the kind of guy who wants to live rent free in a house that belongs to a man 30 years his junior, a leech, unless he's contributing a lot more to the household than being momma's sex partner.
2nd story OP: *says daughter's well being was 1st priority in his divorce* *proceeds to ignore daughter's feelings when he's trying to marry his new GF* Yeah... times have changed, I guess.
Last story: “Also, really weird how you mention your son has had no female influence. As if that is the reason your son is doing better than hers.” Okay, who wants to break it to them?
@@xevilgothgirlx op son is a confident boy who likes to work for his success, his stepbrother tried that but quit when he did not get his way the first time and his mother enabled him to feel that if he wants a stripe he should get on and getting teased as as result. clear enough? :)
Maybe this is a weird take but i f i would date a guy with kids and there is a pretty big chance of that. i would want to stay in my own apartment until the kids are grown and out of the house. Would still come over and stuff but I would not want the kids to be uncomfortable.
It does sound crazy and as a divorcee, he should know not to be so quick to rush into marriage. However, the observation that his daughter is struggling with divorce, while seemingly absolving his ex-wife of her part in the divorce really rubs me the wrong way. If either if parents had cheated on the other, and I learnt of the betrayal, the cheater would be dead to me.
1st story last comment: "I disagree with your culture, even though it's blatantly working here, therefore you are wrong." I just love the imperialist nature of reddit and western academia.
I think it's a good idea that the father leaves everything to the Sun because everybody knows that she's going to move the boyfriend husband whatever he's called in and then it'll become their house.
In some cases if the mother remarries the new husband has control over all the mother's assets so that as soon as she remarries the new husband can evict both OP and his sister.
@onionsbroccoli-on6jf Yeah, but they do not try to move them into their deceased partners' home, in effect replacing them months after the death. They want to move on that's their right but to move them into their deceased partners bed months later is pretty heartless.
Didn't OP say it had 4 years since dad died and Mum had been seeing the bf for 2years? The kids were introduced 8 months ago, but it doesn't feel that fast.
Bracelet story ... The oldest trick in the book to see somebody again. I used it myself, luckily only once, and even thought it's been long ago, I still cringe.
Gina: so first he has to see her in person and then she moves to the same city. My issue is less that he doesn’t respect OP’s feelings and more that the ex’s feelings are taking priority.
The YTA commenter on story 1 is a certified creepo. Not agreeing with OP's objection to an unknown man living with the barely legal sister makes me raise an eyebrow. I would watch this commenter like a hawk anytime teenagers are nearby.
Story 2 - I've never met someone who left solely over an "emotional affair" who wasn't a narcissist. It is not susrpising to me that OP doesn't give a sh-t about how his daughter feels and he only thinks of himself and his own well-being. Again..... narcissist. 🚩🚩🚩
I've never met anybody who had an affair, emotional or physical, who wasn't a narcissist. That's exactly as anecdotal as your assertion, so what is your point?
Story 1 just grosses me out. Like its OPs house now and he can do what he wants with it. But every other aspect is disgusting. Its so sad that your own son can hold your home hostage keeping you from moving on. Regardless of whos right or wrong thats an absolutely shitty place to be in.
@@nicoleblyth9792 huh! He's saying a man they just met 8 months ago can't move in. If 2 out of the 3 people don't want him to live there, than she should go live with him. The daughter is 18. Nobody is stopping her from moving on.
The bracelet story - if the bracelet was so important to the Ex why wasn't she in contact straight after the holiday to get it returned, especially when they broke up. It seems OPs boyfriend is the one orchastrating the return.
Bracelet story: if this bracelet holds so much sentimental value for Gina I wonder why she never asked if op's boyfriend had seen it because she lost it.
So OP said mum is lonely and depressed and enjoys the bf's company, but she shouldnt feel that way because the 2 kids are there? Really? I really dont like the dismissal of mums feelings.
And other people are rational and see big problems with moving in a strange man into the home of an 18 yo girl who doesn't really like the guy by her mom who seems to have no problem with that. Mom was clearly thinking more about her feelings than her daughter's.
Story one that would be awful to be married to man raise kids and when he dies your oldest son gets your home?! That to me is horrible. Because he’s a man this 23 year old whose diapers I changed gets to tell me who can live in my house? Disgusting
Exactly, how irresponsible of her to try and move a man she's known less than a year in the house with a teen daughter. I think the husband knew his wife and made the right decision. Furthermore, that BF should have his own home and the mom can move with him. He sounds like a leech who preyed on a mourning woman.@@vincentlucario5450
@@AussieRider20 the kids only met him 8 months ago and shes already trying to move him in despite them not wanting to. Sounds like Dad made the right call. Mom can go live with her new Husband or be taken care of at home. The Son is abiding by his father's wishes and taking care of the family, he clearly didn't trust his wife's judgement. Mom is free stay or move in with her new husband. Sounds like Pops had everyones best interest at heart. He made the right decision.
S1: I'm really surprised by the NTA comments. I think both OP and his late dad are the AHs. The dad and mom built a life together in that home, but in the will he leaves the house to his son instead of his wife? That wreaks of misogyny particular after some of OPs comments. Then the mom after a couple years meets someone new, but holds off on introducing him to the kids for over year to make sure he's right. That sounds like she's doing right by the kids. And it didn't sound like he was a deadbeat or anything. He just didn't have his own home. But OP thinks that since the BF is a man, he should be the one providing and he should whisk his mother away to his own home if he was a real man. Again, misogynistic to think that she has no stake in the place she's turned into a home over the years. Because she's a woman, she shouldn't get a say, she should just go to whatever man controls her. The whole post disgusted me. And so did the NTA comments. So many assume he's just a homeless bum waiting to SA the sister, without any proof of that.
The BF sounds like a gold digging hobo loser.The husband knew that his wife is naive and not really smart and wanted to protect his children.A serious candidate for a partner would have some accommodation and if the mother is supported by her son, she should find a sucker who would support her or go to work.Sons shouldn't finance mums and their husbands.
Story 1 - I'm shocked by peoples responses. OP's father died 4 damn years ago, and everyone thinks the mom is horrible for dating again? The Dad sounds like a mysogonist. If I pass away, my husband gets EVERYTHING we saved together (i.e,. home, 401k, etc.) Can you imagine if I passed away and gave everything to my 14 year old daughter and left my husband and son to fend for themselves? This is so weird to me. If my husband passes, everything goes to me to care for our children. If I pass, the same goes for my husband. Who leaves their spouse nothing? Inheritance is only given to children AFTER both parents have passed. That is not OP's home (morally). He's a damn kid. It's his mothers home!!! I just can't believe the father passes away and leaves everything to his son and almost nothing to his WIFE and daughter. And now an 18 year old is telling his MOTHER how she is allowed to live. Clearly, the mom attracts not the best men..... we're already 2 down. Unbelievable. I'm guessing this is a story from a country that doesn't view women as human beings.
Not your culture, not your values, not your laws, not your customs. You are probably ignorant of the world outside your little bubble if you truly think your views on life are universal.
@@beatapogorzelska1241 Yeah, a guy who apparently sees no problem of moving into the home of a 18yo girl he met 8 months ago and isn't thrilled to have him there. A good man would need to have a lot better reasons to do that than just saving on rent.
Not allowing mom's fiancé to move in story: Is this rule only for your mom? If you get engaged, can your fiancée move in? What about your sister? Can her fiancé move in? I see your point, but you need to be fair and consistent.
I don't think he would allow the sister's fiance to move in either. I think the cultural norm for them is, he's looking out for the mom and sister until another man can provide for them. That's how it sounds.
Lmao, the Mom Cant move her new man in .... Misogyny. They only known this dude for 8 months. Thank God she didn't get the house, or that man wouldve been moved in right after the funeral. This dude is looking out for sister and y'all calling him a misogynist.
She did get the house she owns a portion they all do, so he's telling her she can't move in her bf to the house she owns as much as the son @truthbringer-6748
@truthbringer-6748 that wasn't the misogynistic part. It was the minor son getting the house and money and not the adult mother. It's the minor son making decisions about the house and not the adult mother
@@Mewse1203 just being an adult doesn't make you a responsible person or a good mother. . Clearly alot of thought was for put into the decision. I don't know how you can listen to this story and come to the conclusion that the wrong choice was made. The mother is trying to move a man in the family home that children have only met 8 months ago. He did right by his kids and was smart to limit the wife's control over assets.
Last Story - I was an instructor of martial arts and I'm amazed that the instructor did not immediately make the step-son removed the stripe. That was in poor taste to put that on his belt.
Indeed. In the dojo I studied at, stripes were important in determining the person's skills. White belt was the lowest, then yellow belt, then yellow belt with white stripe (which was really just a piece of white first aid tape added the the yellow belt) and then green belt, then green belt with a white stripe, etc.
Adding a stripe on your own is massively disrespectful to the discipline you're studying. There's tests. And the higher up you get in ranking, the more skilled you're assumed to be, so you learn more complicated and potentially dangerous (if you're poorly trained) things. So it's disrespectful and potentially setting the kid or someone else up to get hurt.
@@jenniferhanses Same with me. I used to learn Taekwondo, like 10 years ago, and to get to the next level, you had to pass tests and during the next practice, the instructor would give you the new belt (or adding the strip) in front of the whole students, kinda like a ceremony.
And even if my dojo had almost 100 students, someone coming in with a new belt color, or a new strip, would definitely became the center of bad attention.
Can you imagine the comments telling a mom to talk to her daughter because her ex bf disliked how she broke up with him? Lmao
Can you image what would happen to a young guy if that got around the school?
He wanted more time with his friends, and Melanie was very attached. I'm taking a guess here, but I think Melanie was too clingy and whined about him spending time with his friends instead of her.
@@velvety2006 Not to mmention there was a reason (more time with friends) not more needed to say as reason. And what mit baffles "he didn't break up in the right way" cause, wtf is the right way for a break up? If a parent came to me, tot alk to my child cause child didn't break up the right way, my first question were "what is the right way for/ to break up? In my experience and opinion there is never a right way for a break up, its every time wrong how you do it and in the end minimum one person that is hurt, sometimes both. What a bullshit to say.
@@SebastianDPunkt The only possible 'right way' i can think of is when both parties agree the relationship does not work anymore. but this counts more for adults, married people, and young adults who might to a college on a different side of the country. teenagers don't have that development in their brain yet
@@SebastianDPunkt breakups hurt and suck at any age but especially as a teenager since it's usually the 1st one or the 1st "big" break up of a relationship. Guarantee if Melanie had dumped OP's son no way would her mother be calling OP to apologize about her daughter's actions. Heartaches and breakups are just something the vast majority of us will have to learn to deal with and part of Melanie's mom's job at this age is to help her through this.
S1: Calling it. The b/f is a hobose*ual, and mom is simping for him. Sounds like OP's late dad made the right choice signing the house over to him! Glad he got through to mom, but I doubt it'll last.
Yes!! He's going to go work one day and come back to the boyfriend all moved in. Mom's going to give him the ultimatum that if he goes then she does too.
@@YvonneFobbs Yup and I hope OP sticks to his rule- no 50 year old mooch moving into OP's home whereh is 18 year old sister lives along with his desperately needy mom who was targeted by a hobos*xual.
In this economy, renting and being unable to afford a house even in adults is very common. It doesn't make sense if they do get married that one of them is paying rent. OP isn't going to let the guy move in even if they do get married, many boys hate their mothers dating again. I mean it's been years, bet mom didn't bring him around because he's one of those mommas boys who belive their mother should just be happy as a widow. This relationship is ruined unfortunately mom will resent him and her late husband more and more.
I mean if I heard my husband was planning on leaving me homeless after raising his children I'd have divorced him then and there. At least with alimony and a job I might be able to save up enough for a down-payment or reverse mortgage. And yes he did leave her homeless, unless OP is fine with his mother living there with his own wife and kids. Not many women would approve of that either. Mom is heading for a retirement home at this rate.
@@YvonneFobbsAt which point he’ll wave her goodbye.
She was with him for 2 years. It’s super unfair for her kids to not want her to move on. Also it’s wild the dad left marital property not to the wife, that’s her home! I’m sure they got it before OP was of age. But I would never put myself in this situation where I had to depend on someone else for my basic needs.
Come on break ups aren't ever good. Not wanting to be with someone cause you don't want a relationship is smart. If they don't like hearing that then it is time they work on their resilience.
Last story: mom cant coddle her son while also comparing him to his step brother
I'm surprised the instructor didn't demand he remove the stripe.
Yep. She's turning him into a mama's boy if he isn't one already..
Story 5: NTA. Highly inappropriate of her. Good job, mom, you just ruined something your son was doing well at.
Yes. Things sure must have changed since I took martial arts training. Someone inflating their own rank like that would have been given a very vocal rebuke and told to do 50-100 push ups on their knuckles and fixing their belt to the proper rank before taking part again.
I agree with OP his sister is young. Be careful about who you move into your house. I believe the man is looking at the daughter, and OP knows it.
Or he's a leech.
@anthonygilmour6236 right
What in the story makes you think he's targeting the daughter? Op says the guy and his mom have been dating for 2 years! They only meet him 8 month prior and he thinks it's a bit too soon.
Not every older man is a predator.
You've got brain rot from being on Reddit to much. There's literally nothing in the story that indicates that. The boyfriend is dating an age appropriate woman but you've jumped the assumption he's only interested in the teen. That's disgusting
@nyxspiritsong5557 he is 50 and wants to move into someone else home
"He should have left it to me!"
As she behaves in exactly the way that shows why dad was right to leave it to son.
What?...... she dated a man 4 years after her husband died? Lol. The audacity of this woman. How dare she betray a man who left her with NOTHING.... left her daughter NOTHING. And gave all control to her 18 year old son.
Yea... the Dad sounds lovely. Can't imagine why the mom found another loser trying to take advantage of her. She clearly attracts that type.
@@samanthasmiles9112 Are you intentionally missing the point? Also, he left mom and sister separate amounts of money and his son lets them live rent free in a home he now owns. They were most definitely not left with nothing.
Comparing the guy trying to move into a free house to the man that bought, paid for, and supported a family in that house is even more audacious than the dude trying to move in on a widow.
It has nothing to do with mom cheating on dead dad, that's ridiculous and I hope you know it and are just doing the feminist grifter thing.
@@samanthasmiles9112mad
@@johnowen9349 Yeah many commenters miss important points or have a very very very bad text/ language understanding. It sounds more like, the son gets only the house, and all money got to mom and sis.
And imho Op doesn't like the new So ogf om enough to live with him, but not more. No disliking mom moved on and so on, only didn't want to live with him. What is legitimate.
@@johnowen9349the house should have been left to the mother, and in any normal country, that would have been her house too during the marriage. You're conveniently skipping over the part where the teenage son is expected to take care of his parent just because of his gender
stories like number one are why in my will the house goes to my daughters, i won't let any sleezy POS take away their home
So you wpuld rather screw over your wife for moving on years after your death. I hope you don't actually have daughters because anyone whoprocreates with you made a huge mistake.
So you're calling the son sleezy??
It seems like the boyfriend is the one who is sleazy! The mother is sleazy because if she gets married she's expecting the son to take care of her and the boyfriend by living in the son's house!
How dare you put your immoral idea of the world on somebody else's family!
If the mother wants to get remarried then her new husband needs to take care of her not the son!
Sounds like the father did exactly what he needed to do and he had the foresight to know what was good and what was going to be good and bad.....
What part of the story gave any indication that a sleazy POS would take away a house? The house should have been passed on to the mother, it was her house too.
It may be a cultural difference, but it is clearly good sense. Mother, if she owned the house would very likely do what men do; become enmeshed with a new partner and then lose it to a new partner. It happens far too often for the son to be wrong in expecting his Mother to live with her new husband and NOT with him moving into their family home!
Story№3: NTA!! Mom needs to tell her daughter that break ups are a part of life! She also said that it doesn't matter how girls treat their boyfriend! That's toxic and probably why he broke up with her!! Good on hom for standing up for his son!!
Melanie was very attached. My guess is she was clingy only wanted the son to spend with her and got jealous whenever a female gave him attention. His friends pointed it out and he dumped her.
@@velvety2006 The son said he broke up with Melanie "because he wanted to spend time with his friends." It sounds as if she wanted to have all his time and attention and demanded he not spend any time with his friends. That's a valid reason to break up with her.
S1: So if the mom owned the house, yall would be ok with her moving the bf in against the will of the other two people in the house? Given how many of those stories go, I wouldnt want a 50 y.o guy idk like that around my 18 y.o sister. Culturally, OP has done right by his mom. If she wants to be with him so bad, they needto figure out a new living situation for themselves
OP was NTA, OP’s dad was an AH to leave everything to one of his children instead of splitting it between them
Of the mom owned the house then it would be HER right to move whomever she wanted to regardless of anyone else's feelings because LEGALLY she would've been the owner. ersonally I think it would be immoral because your kids come first but she would've had they law on her side. Buuuuut, since it's NOT her house, she has no right to bring random men into a home she doesn't own.
You are correct. He is protecting his sister. Situation like this can escalate to SA. How dare this woman try to move a grown man in with her daughter. It is a good thing op is an adult and a man.
What
@@stirlingarcher7972 he did not
Last Story: Is the last commenter the mother... seriously the step dad and brother are the only ones trying to help, advice and actually protect him the mother is just placating and failing to do anything that will actually help him.
It was the implication that "female influence" is why the stepson is like he is on the OP's behalf. The "discipline" thing in the beginning makes me think OP's son is going to grow up to be one of those men that never communicate feelings and just channels it all into physical activity rather than learning coping skills. That's a volatile mix. There was no need to even make it clear his son had "no female influence" until he got married again unless it was on OP's mind. Words have meanings and letting slip certain things give an indication of people's mindset because they're very rarely cognizant of what they give away--- politicians are people who are experts at being aware of what and how they say things. At any rate we can be certain the "female influence" thing is important in OP's mind whether he's doing it consciously or subconsciously.
I think ESH in the bracelet story; OP is shooting down every compromise her bf makes and then has the audacity to say he's not willing to compromise.. and then the bf seems to be doing all of this of his own accord without asking the ex if she even wants the bracelet back, which makes it sound like he really is just looking for an excuse to see her.
Yeah, something's rotten in Denmark. First the ex lives too far, doesn't have a car. Now ex has moved to their city. I suppose OP could go with on the drop off, but it kind of seems like OPs BF is "keeping his options open". How did this bracelet end up in his stuff after only some 7 day fling way back?
@user-wr3vt8uq4s Right? And who even brings a sentimental bracelet on a vacation with a fling anyway? Everything about this story is so weird.
"YTA because I dont like your culture" the redditor basically said.
Exactly. Hard eyeroll.
I mean...the comment is correct. The mother should have inherited the house. It is her job to take care of the children, not vice versa. The fact that a 20yo son is elevated above his own mother because of his gender makes that culture inferior
@@Vasilia4just because you don’t understand their culture doesn’t make it wrong or inferior. What I DO have an issue with is how OP kept saying “it’s her house too and she has every right to it but he can’t move in.” Which is it? She has every right or she doesn’t?
You are naive if you have never heard of mothers kicking out their old kids for the new family@@Vasilia4
@@Vasilia4Obviously not.
If it's your house, you have the say on who lives in it. Stand your ground. It's not "her" house if her name isn't on the deed. She can live in her boyfriend's place, not yours.
Wow, don't even care that the dead husband just left his wife who was faithful through his whole life homeless? Like even if boyfriend doesn't move in, is OP going to let his mother live their when he is ready for marriage, will his wife. I doubt it. That poor women is heading for a home, this is literaly financial abuse as OP talks about how he is supposed to take care of mom and she probably has no money of her own in those types of cultures. Also by the way he says his culture it sounds like his mom is not of the same culture as his father, so even worse. She was baby trapped without ever knowing it.
@@demonheart13 You didn't even listen to the beginning of the story did you? Him taking care of his mother is one thing but he is saying that if she gets remarried it's her new husband's responsibility to take care of her, not his! And his late father left her enough money that she could have gotten a place of her own.
It sounds more like the father knew exactly what the mother was like and that the sun would be much more responsible and do a much better job of taking care of the home and the sisters.
The mother sounds like a very flighty flaky piece of work! The father did a very good job by leaving the sun the house.
And how dare you put your immoral idea of the world on to somebody else in another country! You have no right to say what is best or what is better or what needs to be done or not need to be done for someone else's situation.
@@demonheart13 Missed the part where op said mom was left money in the will? So she isn't abused or left with nothing. And why has Op as owner to elt new So live with him? And if Op gets a wife, when he really cares about his mother he looks/ gets a wife who is ok to life with him and his mom. Such women exist in this world. Why asuming wife of the son would not life with MIL or want her kick out? And Op didn't mention culture, he said in his fathers family it get down to sons cause they look after their mothers, so crazy it might sound, its not only cultural its also a thing in familys of western countrys. Its very old and not common any more, but exists.
@demonheart13 She got money in the will. She wasn't left nothing. Jesus Christ you guys act like if you don't give a woman the world, you didn't do enough. Now flip the rolls around and you guys wouldn't bat an eye. The double standards from you people is just absolutely obnoxious at this point.
If the son dumped his gf in a cruel way that should have been the topic of the discussion. Not that he needs a good reason. OP is not the idiot
Mmmm… I’m lacking details here. Op’s son had every right to end the relationship for whatever reason, but the thing up for discussion seems to HOW he ended the relationship exactly, which is never detailed in the post. (So far, anyway 😄 9:07 )
@@susankaempfer8427 one of the comments mentioned that they think OP is jerk raising a jerk because high school kids lack empathy and he probably dumped her in a cruel way or some BS like that. Which is why IF the son did that, the topic of discussion should be how he broke it off not that he broke it off. And the fact that mom seemed to be mad that her daughter got dumped means that's not what was for discussion.
@ I think we all want to know exactly HOW he dumped her, and I find it odd that either op knows and conspicuously failed to tell us, or didn’t bother to ask the mother what the actual problem was… 🤷🏻♀️🤔
@@susankaempfer8427 then mom needs to be an adult and talk about the actual problem. Breaking up with the girlfriend isn't a problem, the reason isn't the problem. If it was cruel then that's what the mom needs to say.
The story specifically has the girls mother state it was "how" he broke up with her, not why. The why is unimportant provided there was no cheating/abuse, the how on the other hand, Op needs to be a parent in that regard and teach their son that its how you do things that matter, its the difference between been a gentleman and a scrub.
It was good that the house was left to him. She would have pulled in some guy to run a house that is not his. Putting the kids out.
So, so many stories on the internet of widow marrying someone and them kicking out the children while he tales over including transferring part ownership to him. And what’s with the arrogant YTA? He disapproves of OP’s culture? Wow, god like entitlement!
Yeah, this sounds more to make sure mom cannot bring in a new dad who kicks out the kids or at least op.
Story 1: NTA - men take care of the women right? So your mothers husband should take care of her. -- it’s called getting a mooch as a partner & protecting your assets
More like they're the mooch
Story#1: LMAO! The father knew the mother was flighty and would end up kicking out the kids from the house the husband wanted for his kids. LOL! If the mother wants to live with her man, then go be with her man. However, bringing another man into that sanctuary should be a no-no. I love how mature the son is. He didn't try to throw his mother out, even after she threw a tantrum and decided to stop speaking to him. However, she is immature. Don't try to move a guy into a home you share with two other people who don't know him! I'm glad OP's dad didn't leave her the house. She would squander that resource.
1: Oops...bet, she didn't tell her man you own the house!!
In a misogynistic culture like that, the man probably knows
Do these people not know that packages get stolen very often? It's a piece of jewelry for heaven's sake!!! I would never put jewelry in the post. That''s just stupid
Yeah, like I agree that if the boyfriend had insisted on travelling 4 hours alone to meet up with an old fling that would be suspicious. But he offered to bring OP and make a trip of it. And then when the fling moved to the same city just drop it off. OP is being super jealous
If he sends the package that requires a signature, USPS will not deliver the package if the recipient isn't home. They will leave a slip instructing where it can be picked up.
UPS is a different story altogether.
@@GeorgieB1965 do you know how they verify the recipient is there, its kindof scary when you think about it. They simply ask "are you X?" when you open the door and then when told yes, merely go "sign here", they do not ask to see ID if you opened the door to the address on the package and they do not verify signatures at all (i've litterally signed for stuff with a quick squiggle that looks nothing like my actual signature). This is general package delivery, not personal courier delivery who will ask for ID and verify recipient, they'll take minimal reasonable measures. Hell even my food deliveries are more secure (they ask for a 4 digit code that only i have).
Now if you or no one else answers the door they'll leave a message with a collection location but they generally will hand off anything to anyone willing to sign for stuff. If they could get your dog to sign, they would do.
NTA in eldest son taking care of family. The mom has a new provider, and op I still providing for his sibling as he must
NTA in HS breakup. Notice how everyone assumes he was bad in how he did it. Not once did the mom try to say the break-up was done mean or evil.
Mom's new BF isn't a provider if he needs to move into OP's house lol.
Why is a son providing for a mom
Necklace Story: The boyfriend invited OP along with him to make a vacation day out of it. If she still thinks he's going to cheat or has feelings for Gina, she needs to end the relationship because he will see what an unreasonably jealous control freak she is and end it himself.
What is his last comment in the last story get this kind of nonsense and thinking that the whole family does not like the stepson? Did they even read the story I’m guessing no?
Mom's too hung up on SS getting his "participation trophy" rather than going thru the process of training. In no way should she have changed his rank designation on her own. Her actions are leading her son to be ridiculed. I'm more surprised that the dojo hasn't reprimanded him for faking clout.
Story 1: It's NOT her house. It's OP's. She's a childish witch and if her man whooah is so important she can go live with him.
Why is she a witch??? Lol. Because she decided to date again 4 years after her husbands death? The audacity of some people to date again. Don't they know random ass people in the youtube comments expect her to never be happy every again? I guess she didn't get the memo.
S1: NTA…. more parents should leave the homes they paid for to their children, and not to the spouse who will end up finding a loser mooch who will benefit from the deceased person’s hard work while leaving their children with nothing, cause so many widowed people seem to crap on their kids for their new partner. glad OP was able to get through to their Mom, something about that boyfriend is giving gold digger.
She's the mooch
Exactly. People should leave homes and properties to their children. We have too many cases of spouses remarrying and mistreating their own children.
@@Azulakayes Who is this "we" here? Is it the skewed and prejudiced view of the world that you got brewing in your head by listening to too many sensationalist reddit stories? It's very simple: remarried spouses that work well and are normal do not get onto reddit and youtube, and you do not get to hear about them.
Story 1; I'd hate for a strange man in his 50s to move in with my kids and I. He should be stable by then. It's suspicious to me too.
You've got literally no reason to think he isn't stable. Maybe he lives in an area the mum doesn't like, or will make it difficult to see her kids. Maybe it's an apartment and the mum doesn't want to live in one. When couples move in together someone has to be the one who leaves their existing place so why are you assuming the absolute worst here.
We don't know he's unstable, OP never mentioned that
@@AussieRider20 lol whatever, they only known him for 8 months. No way in hell I would let him move in. If 2 out of the 3 don't want him, then kick rocks.
@@nicoleblyth9792 IF he's financially stable, then he and the mom can find another place if his is insufficient for them together. They shouldn't be making OP accept this BF he's known for LESS than a year permanently into OP'S home that's in his name alone!
@@AussieRider20 e erybody saying the dude gonna do something to the daughter. What
There is no way I'd mail something of value. Yeah there is insurance but money doesn't bring back sentimental items.
You do not trust him so stop being in a relationship with him.
And that last comments sounded just as insecure as the gf
THANK YOU! Especially if this is in the US.... the mail service is just so unreliable these days.... and am those people saying it's weird he won't mail it seem to completely overlook that he ASKED OP TO COME WITH HIM.
She seems extremely hung up on...."I'm uncomfortable so you HAVE to respect my feelings over yours" you can feel uncomfortable, but that does not mean you get your way. At least he was trying to find a compromise.
O think the boyfriend should watch for any additional red flags.
@@nyxspiritsong5557I would be just a little bit weary, but once he invited me to go along I wouldn’t care and go with him.
@@Drezha3 insecurity isn't a bad thing
His inviting OP to go along turned me against her in his favor.
Bracelet story: Man OP and BF both are showing some red flags. The BF does seem weirdly obsessed with delivering the bracelet in person. The OP is being hypocritical, demanding that the BF MUST return the bracelet the way OP wants it done while claiming that the BF is the one who won't compromise despite the BF offering multiple compromise. The OP is also an idiot for basically complaining that the BF isn't caring about OP's feelings, while ignoring that she's ignoring the BF's feelings.
I’m not sure either one is mature enough to be in a relationship.
One unanswered question:
How did the bracelet actually wind up in BF suitcase? It is pretty difficult to mix up belongings if you are not sharing a room or in extremely close proximity to each other and their luggage.
That sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Bracelet story: OP sounds like a jealous AH who's going to use, "respect MY feelings," means "You always need to do what I say because FEELINGS." Yeah, that dude needs to RUN.
The commenter on the Gina story saying you need to respect his feelings.
If your boyfriend wants to sleep with another woman, no you don't need to respect their feelings. Either they change that line of thinking real quick, or its time to end it and move on.
The desire for men to be wrong makes people’s opinions in stories sound like they don’t read them. In the belt stepson story, the stepdad clearly loves his stepson the right amount, trying to help him get better but not overstepping or overruling mom, the mom loves him too much, and is coddling him as shown by mommy diy belt. What does a misandrist commenter write? “You both don’t love your step son enough.” What was the actual issue in the story: mommy coddling him.
Story 1, I turned on the OP pretty solidly around the time he started saying he didn't understand why his mother was upset, depressed and lonely.
I thought we were all for cultural tolerance now. So how come everyone wants to discount the context of Culture in S1?
Remember that this man is also from this culture, so he knows what he's trying to do is highly inappropriate. That suggests he probably has ulterior motives.
Because everyone who is born into a "culture" vows at birth to adhere to it without individual variation or judgments of right and wrong, and the "culture" MUST be the most conservative, most toxic version of it possible. /sarcasm.
Gina's bracelet story: The fact that he didn't know she moved means he planned the whole road-trip without ever contacting Gina. Didn't throw her a message 'hey found your bracelet, know it means a lot to you.' to see how she'd want it returned. I've got a feeling we're dealing with a severe case of enthusiastic dum-dum here, not malice.
Op needs to ask her BF for Gina's contact info and force him to get in touch with her while OP's in the room, to guide him in properly communicating.
That'd be super controlling!
Meh. I feel like maybe the “mutual” decision that they aren’t good as a pair might have been mostly Gina and the bracelet is his excuse to see her face to face and gauge interest. If he reaches out and she says “that? Oh, just bin it.” Then his one and only excuse to insert himself into her day is gone. 🤷🏻♀️
I also feel like if op is that doubtful that early on, she should maybe just move on, instead of doing the “prove I matter more than her” thing.
That bracelet story - if the controlling girl was a dude Reddit would have screamed for her to run away from him cause he’s a red flag.
Hypocrisy at its finest.
1 story I think the husband did a great job leaving it to his son. The only thing I would change is made it so that the daughter and son both co own the house.
Last story.. the last commenter is exactly what's wrong with society today. They understand the utility of what is considered "tough love" but will criticize the idea because of sad intellectualism and the need to criticize for its own sake..
Like the first story, which disagreed on principle, even though that principle protected for exactly what the dead father wanted
S1. NTA. The house belongs to OP. If the mother wants to marry, she needs to move in with her. Im so tired of people not supporting other cultures. Not every country thinks and acts the same. And what kind of 50 year old man wants to live in a widows house. That is a very good question.
Story 1: OP kept saying “it’s her house too and she has every right to it but he can’t move in.” Which is it? She has every right or she doesn’t? 🙃🙃
11:00 Umm maybe he just thinks OP is being stupid, selfish, and insecure. He asked her to go with him. At this point, he needs to drop it off just to assert his own boundaries.
The armchair relationship experts in both Reddit and the comments here is ridiculous.
Yup
Bracelet. Yta. His feelings dont matter to op and ahe is just plain petty, controlling and jealous. He should be seeing these red flags
I am always a little confused by the high school sweethearts thing. I didn’t want my kids to be mean about breakups but I also wanted them to have many relationships because of the ability to learn how to say ‘no’ and to be able to start, keep or lose relationships is a good learning model for life. I did have to speak to one child about breaking up because I felt their latest event lacked empathy and consideration and they improved for the next one. That’s about all we can reasonably expect. I would have (and was) unhappy about any serious relationships that lasted more than 6 or so months while still in school. I wanted them to explore while being responsible and careful of others feelings. Both of them have permanent relationships that started a long time after school which is what I preferred (but had no control over.)
The first story is insane. That’s the crazy way to turn around parent-child relationship 🤡
You people with the tone policing. It's getting ridiculous toughen the hell up
He was ok with you coming on the trip. You are making this a ridiculous hill to die on.
It’s better to be a bit of a jerk when you break up with someone so that they don’t want you back. So that they don’t plan for you for months. So that they don’t think you might still have lingering feelings.
With the Mom had preferred he said we’re not right for each other right now? Keep her on the hook forever?
5:50 kids just dont get over it. They need counseling.
The bracelet story, it's a cheap bracelet, I get that it has sentimental value but it's still just a bracelet that OP's bf is planning to give back to his ex-fling, also it's a 4 hour drive. For just a flimsy bracelet. I don't get how OP is considered jealous when her boyfriend plans to drive 4 hours to drop off a freaking bracelet to someone he had slept with a few times. I just don't see what others are. Who knows if he is the type to cheat, maybe this is more than just dropping off the bracelet. We really can't say because we don't know what's going on in that head of the bf's. Has he even called Gina about dropping off her bracelet? I don't know, maybe OP has a right to feel uncomfortable when she doesn't know what is going to happen when he drops off the bracelet.
Bracelet
He could tell her he found it and then just hold onto it until she can come and get it or you and him happen to be going that way. Or he can ask her if she wants it mailed someplace. It is scetch he wants to drive it to her like that.
With the gf moving into the ops place and the daughter throwing a small tantrum about it made me think of my partners next door neighbours call two years ago me and my bestfriend now partner were having a nap as we drove alot that day and his neighbour called him and was drunk saying "oh is this why your sons mad all the time your gf is in your bed besides his mumma!" We weren't together when the call happened and my partner at the time best friend screamed at her for being so rude towards me we were only friends at the time and gave each other comfort due to being single
Why would the boyfriend want to move into another man’s house? Why would the mother want to marry a man that can’t provide for her? Why doesn’t the mother move out with her new boyfriend after all, her children are adults now. The son is correct on this one and mom doesn’t know she’s being manipulated.
Story 1, part of the timeline gets muddled by OP. using current years for reference to make it all clear. Dad dies in 2020, Mom starts dating this guy in 2022, introduces him to the family finally in early 2024. Near the end of the story he's still saying she's moving him in after only 8 months. What he didn't clarify was that was only how long the KIDS have known him. Either way, he's NTA, it's HIS house, he gets to say who lives there, not his Mom. She wants to live and eventually marry her BF, that's her choice, at that time, she moves out and goes off to live with her new BF, and his Sister can either stay in her family home with the brother, or make the choice herself if she wants to go with mom or even move out on her own.
Could care less about the "cultural" thing as to why he was given the house, in the end, it doesn't matter. The house is his, he sets the rules on who lives there, and if mom doesn't like it, tough luck.
"Its her house and she has every right to it" unless of course she wants to have a say in the home 🙄🙄🙄 i cannot imaine being left with no rights to my marital home. Sure you can ask to postpone. But jc.
Cultural issue aside, Story 1 OP is correct.
Sexism is gross in any culture.
First Story: Just how many times have we heard step-parent stories where the bio parent moves on and leaves their bio children in the dirt in order to meet their own needs with their new sex toy? How many evil step-parent stories do we need to hear before it makes absolute sense to leave things to the children? His mom is ready to move this dude in and play sugar-momma to him, while he pays none of the bills. Would you even want to model that behavior to your children? Marry a widow and you can live rent free and lord over her children and play games all day. Granted, he seems nice now, but he's the kind of guy who wants to live rent free in a house that belongs to a man 30 years his junior, a leech, unless he's contributing a lot more to the household than being momma's sex partner.
2nd story OP: *says daughter's well being was 1st priority in his divorce* *proceeds to ignore daughter's feelings when he's trying to marry his new GF*
Yeah... times have changed, I guess.
started to think with the head in his pants it seems
Of course the coddling mother ruined things.
Last story: “Also, really weird how you mention your son has had no female influence. As if that is the reason your son is doing better than hers.”
Okay, who wants to break it to them?
as a woman. what do you mean by this???
?
@@xevilgothgirlx op son is a confident boy who likes to work for his success, his stepbrother tried that but quit when he did not get his way the first time and his mother enabled him to feel that if he wants a stripe he should get on and getting teased as as result. clear enough? :)
2nd OP: "Here is the lady you met less than two months ago. I'm marrying her and she lives here now."
That sounds crazy
Maybe this is a weird take but i f i would date a guy with kids and there is a pretty big chance of that. i would want to stay in my own apartment until the kids are grown and out of the house. Would still come over and stuff but I would not want the kids to be uncomfortable.
It does sound crazy and as a divorcee, he should know not to be so quick to rush into marriage. However, the observation that his daughter is struggling with divorce, while seemingly absolving his ex-wife of her part in the divorce really rubs me the wrong way.
If either if parents had cheated on the other, and I learnt of the betrayal, the cheater would be dead to me.
The background music was a tad too loud in this video.
How important and sentimental could the bracelet be if Gina had it in someone else's suitcase?
1st story last comment: "I disagree with your culture, even though it's blatantly working here, therefore you are wrong."
I just love the imperialist nature of reddit and western academia.
I think it's a good idea that the father leaves everything to the Sun because everybody knows that she's going to move the boyfriend husband whatever he's called in and then it'll become their house.
He did not
I'm curious what the reason that OP was left everything beyond you taking care of the family. How long has she really been dating this guy?
Some people do move on quick, surprisingly enough. It sounds more like a culture thing, imo.
In some cases if the mother remarries the new husband has control over all the mother's assets so that as soon as she remarries the new husband can evict both OP and his sister.
@onionsbroccoli-on6jf Yeah, but they do not try to move them into their deceased partners' home, in effect replacing them months after the death. They want to move on that's their right but to move them into their deceased partners bed months later is pretty heartless.
@@miss_mish All I'm saying is, some people do move on quick.
Didn't OP say it had 4 years since dad died and Mum had been seeing the bf for 2years? The kids were introduced 8 months ago, but it doesn't feel that fast.
Bracelet story ... The oldest trick in the book to see somebody again. I used it myself, luckily only once, and even thought it's been long ago, I still cringe.
Gina: so first he has to see her in person and then she moves to the same city. My issue is less that he doesn’t respect OP’s feelings and more that the ex’s feelings are taking priority.
It's obvious that the dad knew his wife would move on someday and get married. So it makes sense not to give her the house
Story 3: NTA. Misandrist BS on the mom's part. "It's different" no it isn't.
The YTA commenter on story 1 is a certified creepo. Not agreeing with OP's objection to an unknown man living with the barely legal sister makes me raise an eyebrow. I would watch this commenter like a hawk anytime teenagers are nearby.
What
Story 2 - I've never met someone who left solely over an "emotional affair" who wasn't a narcissist. It is not susrpising to me that OP doesn't give a sh-t about how his daughter feels and he only thinks of himself and his own well-being. Again..... narcissist. 🚩🚩🚩
.....so it's the dad's fault...that the mom cheated and didn't just leave him....riiiiiight.
I've never met anybody who had an affair, emotional or physical, who wasn't a narcissist. That's exactly as anecdotal as your assertion, so what is your point?
Story 1 just grosses me out. Like its OPs house now and he can do what he wants with it. But every other aspect is disgusting. Its so sad that your own son can hold your home hostage keeping you from moving on. Regardless of whos right or wrong thats an absolutely shitty place to be in.
He's not really stopping her from moving on tho. He's telling her she can go live with her new husband.
Yeah the son sounds like an asshole who thinks he knows better.
He's telling her to leave the sister and move out because he can care for his sister. Why would the mother agree to that?
Sounds Muslim to me.
@@nicoleblyth9792 huh! He's saying a man they just met 8 months ago can't move in. If 2 out of the 3 people don't want him to live there, than she should go live with him. The daughter is 18. Nobody is stopping her from moving on.
Story 1: Bahahaha Op’s spoiled mother is just annoyed that she can’t take advantage of Op. Screw her.
The bracelet story - if the bracelet was so important to the Ex why wasn't she in contact straight after the holiday to get it returned, especially when they broke up. It seems OPs boyfriend is the one orchastrating the return.
Bracelet story: if this bracelet holds so much sentimental value for Gina I wonder why she never asked if op's boyfriend had seen it because she lost it.
So OP said mum is lonely and depressed and enjoys the bf's company, but she shouldnt feel that way because the 2 kids are there? Really? I really dont like the dismissal of mums feelings.
And other people are rational and see big problems with moving in a strange man into the home of an 18 yo girl who doesn't really like the guy by her mom who seems to have no problem with that. Mom was clearly thinking more about her feelings than her daughter's.
St 1 yta it’s her house too but she’s not allowed to live with her husband in her house.
@@ghostdragon5735 nope . They don't want a man they just met moving in. If she doesn't like it, she can live with her new husband.
Story one that would be awful to be married to man raise kids and when he dies your oldest son gets your home?! That to me is horrible. Because he’s a man this 23 year old whose diapers I changed gets to tell me who can live in my house? Disgusting
Idk, from how the mother is acting, maybe it was a reasonable choice
@@vincentlucario5450 why? Because years later she wants to move on with her life and take the next step with her next relationship?
Yeah the sons an asshole who's using the fact his father left the mum basically nothing from the sounds of it to dictate at her
Exactly, how irresponsible of her to try and move a man she's known less than a year in the house with a teen daughter. I think the husband knew his wife and made the right decision. Furthermore, that BF should have his own home and the mom can move with him. He sounds like a leech who preyed on a mourning woman.@@vincentlucario5450
@@AussieRider20 the kids only met him 8 months ago and shes already trying to move him in despite them not wanting to. Sounds like Dad made the right call. Mom can go live with her new Husband or be taken care of at home. The Son is abiding by his father's wishes and taking care of the family, he clearly didn't trust his wife's judgement. Mom is free stay or move in with her new husband. Sounds like Pops had everyones best interest at heart. He made the right decision.
S1: I'm really surprised by the NTA comments. I think both OP and his late dad are the AHs. The dad and mom built a life together in that home, but in the will he leaves the house to his son instead of his wife? That wreaks of misogyny particular after some of OPs comments. Then the mom after a couple years meets someone new, but holds off on introducing him to the kids for over year to make sure he's right. That sounds like she's doing right by the kids. And it didn't sound like he was a deadbeat or anything. He just didn't have his own home. But OP thinks that since the BF is a man, he should be the one providing and he should whisk his mother away to his own home if he was a real man. Again, misogynistic to think that she has no stake in the place she's turned into a home over the years. Because she's a woman, she shouldn't get a say, she should just go to whatever man controls her. The whole post disgusted me. And so did the NTA comments. So many assume he's just a homeless bum waiting to SA the sister, without any proof of that.
The BF sounds like a gold digging hobo loser.The husband knew that his wife is naive and not really smart and wanted to protect his children.A serious candidate for a partner would have some accommodation and if the mother is supported by her son, she should find a sucker who would support her or go to work.Sons shouldn't finance mums and their husbands.
S1: total exist bs
Story 1 - I'm shocked by peoples responses. OP's father died 4 damn years ago, and everyone thinks the mom is horrible for dating again? The Dad sounds like a mysogonist. If I pass away, my husband gets EVERYTHING we saved together (i.e,. home, 401k, etc.) Can you imagine if I passed away and gave everything to my 14 year old daughter and left my husband and son to fend for themselves? This is so weird to me. If my husband passes, everything goes to me to care for our children. If I pass, the same goes for my husband. Who leaves their spouse nothing?
Inheritance is only given to children AFTER both parents have passed. That is not OP's home (morally). He's a damn kid. It's his mothers home!!! I just can't believe the father passes away and leaves everything to his son and almost nothing to his WIFE and daughter. And now an 18 year old is telling his MOTHER how she is allowed to live. Clearly, the mom attracts not the best men..... we're already 2 down. Unbelievable. I'm guessing this is a story from a country that doesn't view women as human beings.
Not your culture, not your values, not your laws, not your customs. You are probably ignorant of the world outside your little bubble if you truly think your views on life are universal.
Mom isn't horrible for dating but for WHO she is dating.
@@beatapogorzelska1241 Yeah, a guy who apparently sees no problem of moving into the home of a 18yo girl he met 8 months ago and isn't thrilled to have him there. A good man would need to have a lot better reasons to do that than just saving on rent.
“My dad isn’t misogynistic he just left everything to his son and nothing to his wife and daughter” cool story bro
?
My vacuous brain doesn't blame literally everything on misogyny... but just read my comment.
Not allowing mom's fiancé to move in story: Is this rule only for your mom? If you get engaged, can your fiancée move in? What about your sister? Can her fiancé move in? I see your point, but you need to be fair and consistent.
Or he knows that as soon as the boyfriend moves in he'll be seen as the man of the house and the mother will expect OP to accept it.
@@anthonygilmour6236 I find it odd that the mom didn't get the house, and that the son did.
@@onionsbroccoli-on6jf It's a cultural thing.
I don't think he would allow the sister's fiance to move in either. I think the cultural norm for them is, he's looking out for the mom and sister until another man can provide for them. That's how it sounds.
i wish the story told why he got the absolute power over the house. I'm guessing a muslim country.
Story 1: this story has misogyny all over jt
Agreed, there was something really yuck about OP and his attitude as 'man of the house'
Lmao, the Mom Cant move her new man in .... Misogyny. They only known this dude for 8 months. Thank God she didn't get the house, or that man wouldve been moved in right after the funeral. This dude is looking out for sister and y'all calling him a misogynist.
She did get the house she owns a portion they all do, so he's telling her she can't move in her bf to the house she owns as much as the son
@truthbringer-6748
@truthbringer-6748 that wasn't the misogynistic part. It was the minor son getting the house and money and not the adult mother. It's the minor son making decisions about the house and not the adult mother
@@Mewse1203 just being an adult doesn't make you a responsible person or a good mother. . Clearly alot of thought was for put into the decision. I don't know how you can listen to this story and come to the conclusion that the wrong choice was made. The mother is trying to move a man in the family home that children have only met 8 months ago. He did right by his kids and was smart to limit the wife's control over assets.