I really believe men need to focus first on what defines a man and learning what leadership means. It's too many males having these conversations, creating RUclips channels for views, but lack the mental and intellectual development to logically assess a 50/50 partnership. A lot of these "men" want to be seen as lions, when they're mentally and emotionally cubs.
Interesting you used lions as your analogy. Female lions in the pride do the hunting yet "submit" to the male for protection. That's their nature, they don't have to learn how to submit or learn what it is to be a female lion.
My mother made almost 300k a year and my father about 55k. He was the one doing the housework and raising me while she was traveling for work. Now years later they have nightly fights over how he hates her because she never had a hot meal waiting for him when he came home as well as low libido because she was so exhausted being gone 3 weeks a month. I've been hearing about their fights over their lack of a sex life and his metaphorical castration since I'm about 7. It's caused alot of mental damage to me. Men who want women who bring 50%+ be ready to reclaim your feminine side otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure.
I feel like you father had a lot of nerve asking for meals when got home. Where is that written? Was your mother born with a spatula? Female slavery, but yet these men are the first ones to complain about white men enslaving them. Any man that wants to eat with a wife that works justine he does needs to know how to cook and feed himself. Ps feminine side does not translate into cooking and cleaning. If you are mentally damage from this,go get counseling from a license counselor. Don't run to church for it.
Bruh. How dense are you? They were fighting cuz she had ZERO respect for him because of the salary discrepancy and she was obviously effing somebody else and not him. Being tired was a lie.
@@massagemodality366 I'm not religious. Also men and women have their respective roles to play. You want a man to court you, protect you, provide for you? Cooking a meal is the least you can do. Women act so tough because they pay car bills and can keep the lights on meanwhile all men do that and more for women
Strange, I am the total financial support system for my woman. My wife does the shopping, most of the housework and some errands and she helps handle finances. I realize what she is doing is work. What she does is not easy and It is greatly appreciated and needed. Some may call it traditional but it works for us. I do not ever expect my wife to pay for anything.
This also largely depends on where one lives and what their purpose is. Not everyone lives in a country, region or city where it’s affordable to get ahead on one income.
We want a wife and a mother than supports us and peace..if you work you think you just get to keep all your money..😂😂😂 ignorance at its best..just not help at all..then stay the fk home and raise your children
@@7thlion1 Great, then the men asking for 50/50 should not be. Can’t be asking for 50/50 for bills, and then when it comes to other responsibilities, suddenly, “there’s no 50/50 in life”. LMAO. That’s just hypocrisy.
I’ve never heard of a man who does 50 percent of chores at home and childcare, they might help some but they don’t do it like us. That’s because there’s biological differences between men and women and they are not conscientious like us so 50/50 often leads women to resent men bc she’s tired from working and feels it’s unfair split at home
Paying all a womans bills... Bring that its my child energy.. Lol.. U want traditional men but u dont want to be a traditional woman.... Western women... Lol... Dumb as fuck
Finally, this part of the conversation is getting more light. As men we can’t expect for women to submit, and be a great homemaker, while at the same time, asking her to be a career woman. If she’s doing both, then you have to do both as well.
I have a friend that makes more money than her husband. When they had the child, she stayed home for 8 weeks, that’s all the time she was given before she would be without leave. But her money keep the household afloat. Sooooo she went to work and he stayed home with the baby. When I tell you it came with so many problems. Because even though he knew financially it made sense for him to stay home with the baby, he couldn’t help but feel emasculated. It’s hard to see himself as the head when he’s being a house dad while his wife go out to work and bring home the money. When men realize their ability to provide financially is connected to them being the head and getting the respect they desire, they’ll stop asking women for 50% of the bills. What’s practical doesn’t always feel right. Of course, she had a lot to say about how the money was spent because it was mostly his money. Even though he also had a voice in the decision making, he said he doesn’t feel like he can have the final say on things. Because deep down he knew he wasn’t paying for it. Until men understand how women work, they’ll understand that a expecting on your woman to pay half of everything isn’t going to bring the ultimate respect you truly desire.
That's dumb. Marriage is about team work, and if her going to work is the right choice, then be it. The well being of the child is more important than anyone's pride.
I'm here thinking i don't even always feel like giving 50 to myself. I think that's why I'm good being alone. I don't have the mental, emotional, & physical space for someone else. Not even to date casually. I BARELY want to go out with friends. Never thought I'd grow up to be that single childless auntie, but i have zero desires rn to commit to anything, pet included, and i don't see that changing anytime soon. I don't even like committing to plans for the weekend. If i want to stay home, bum out in pajamas, and watch TV, i like knowing i can decide to do so. Being stuck in doors quarantined from everyone during peak COVID was not an issue for me. Guess I'm a loner by choice, social if i have to.
But women are partners so....... what is the point here? We are here to originally help each other through life. Just choose a woman who understands that. Simple.
@@sandracastillo3317 "feel like"??? it is.... and he expects intimacy. You cannot give a man intimacy and your body with 50/50. BW need to stop making decisions out of low self-esteem.
I don’t know where you come from, but there’s no woman on earth who wouldn’t try to lead 50% of the time EVEN if shes not bringing in any money. Women by nature are not submissive, I don’t know why everyone in this comment section is acting like they are.
@@Tb-gz4qt It makes me think of men who wrongly assume that Eastern European and Filipina women are 'submissive.' I've NEVER met a submissive Eastern European or Filipina woman in my life LOL.
I have learned dealing with many females. That most women wants to feel safe. Meaning that she wants a man too, support her. So she can build up her nest up. So if the relationship ends she will have a bag saved. It’s like a 401(k) for relationships. But most of the time, I have seen women when they build up that 401(k) for relationship it end. She’s will lose respect for her man. Because she don’t need hes money anymore. As in guys, we all need to stop paying for everything and start do 50-50. because when the relationship. Ever guys are going to realize, they did everything for their females and have nothing left to show for it. Because you spend it all on her.
@Tb-gz4qt women are natural submissive which is why we are very attracted to dominant men. We are also selective by design which prevents us from submitting to a man until he has provided an environment for which it is safe to do so.
Modern men want traditional women without being traditional themselves. This is what my husband calls reverse feminism. So many brothers in this comment section upset that women want to be provided for so they can adequately look up to them and honor them. If you want 50/50 just know that she will see you as her equal. Men with wisdom understand this. It's clear single motherhood has not only effected women but it has effected men as well. Bc all they've ever seen was their mom working her ass off.
If a man has to be traditional by providing and protecting then he should get a traditional woman in return. THAT'S CALLED A VIRGIN . If you are not one then adjust your requirements ladies
@@MR.DREAM333, if you think a virgin is all it takes, the man can look for a Virgin in peace and carry out his full duties of protection and providing.
@@Jenken297 ...a man should get what he pays for. If she is not a virgin then she must go 50/50. Wealthy men and pretty women are the only ones that have privilege . It's funny to me how average and below average looking women think they can demand ANYTHING
Mind set is key to any situation ! I have been married for 30 years. My husband have always taken care of his family. My husband had a massive heart attack in 2020. I am now the breadwinner. My husband is not able to work like he did previously. Now l do more. When you make vows before The Most High we are to uphold those vows until death do us part. I believe that 50/50 is the mindset of a carnal person. I and my husband work together. The Most High makes sure all of our needs are met. We give the Lord the Glory !! Amen 🙏
How old is your husband when he suffered a heart attack? The thing is I'm worried about how hard my husband works and we both work full time but he works longer hours and doesn't get much sleep
@@zraj3433 have you bought that concern to him? I know I would To my husband! If he could afford to work less hours or you guys have a strict budget so he’s not working himself to death
Spot on. Something happens in a woman’s mind when she has to bring half. I can’t explain it but it’s like you get into a different head space. She’s soo right
The father and mother must bring all their resources into raising the family. What the hell has happened to people? This is how kids end up failing to go to college because parents didnt work hard enough to save anything for them.
even if a wife works to buy groceries and stuff for her husband, herself and the kids she still has to do the cooking, cleaning, DISHES, Laundry, take care of the Kids and take care of her husband's needs and be in shape and be feminine put makeup fixed hair nice nails, feet that is exhausting everything takes TIME and EFFERT. No wonder ALOT of women would rather be single.
@@chulacanija You say that but ignore that in most marriages, the man is having to work extra hours so the woman can afford to get extra time at home to do all those things. I mean lets just be real for a second, would you rather be at work for an additional 16 hours each month or spend more time at home doing all those things you mentioned? Coz if society didn't shame us, men would chose that any day.
@James E I see and yes we're all mad here j/k everyone is exhausted maybe that is why there's so many divorces nowadays days. And it doesn't help when there is no communication.
I do Not believe that a woman is supposed to be going 50/50 with her husband. We wear a lot of hats as women. We are the nurturers of the family, we are the nurse when the children and husband is sick, we go through the 10 month process of childbearing (the 1st four weeks we don’t even know we are pregnant) we are the ones who adds a woman’s touch to make a house a home, and lot of us work outside the home including myself, and we still make time to ensure everyone has clean clothes, in some cases we are Chef and find time to cook. Yes, some men cook too if they have time to, but most times the women take on that responsibility and we also have to keep up our appearance, make sure to try best to stay looking beautiful: hair and nails and try to stay physically healthy, be great lovers between the sheets and still EXPECTED go 50/50. That’s definitely a man trying to send you to an early grave ⚰️
@@ebonymiller3545 Okayyyy! Absolutely Nuts! They Grown Man/Children are not ready for a relationship, they are looking for a roommate they can have sex with! NOT happening over here 😅😅
I mean……😂😂😂 Men in general do more inna relationship then women. If ur in relationship where u feel ur doing everything either ur masculine, or the guy u picked is only on attractiveness and no other qualities. Protection isn’t 50/50, 100% the man or else we all die. Leadership isn’t 50/50 unless children are involved and even with that in mind decision making majority of time in a healthy relationship men have the final say. But for some reason every time I hear 50/50 it’s always related to money 🤦🏾♂️. Gotta stop putting this narrative out there. It’ll only lead to more singleness and bitterness for no reason.
@@ebonymiller3545 😂😂😂🤣🤣… Lol @ not going to stress you out! Well some do and some are not bad. I’m married, but my husband doesn’t NOT have the 50/50 mentality. So I’m good… have the most generous and caring husband.
This is a fair statement and women need to understand what is expected when a man is paying 100%. Nobody’s financing your life for non compliance, not even your employers.
A woman also doesn't wanted to be treated like a doormat because you're financing her life. Some men let their provider status go straight to their heads and become arrogant.
@@symonelewis1690 A woman isn’t a doormat for complying. She’s a supporter/submissive/subservient to the man and the family. Just as I let him take the lead and “let it go to his head”, I take the support and humbly be proud of it. Yes I make moves that help my husband save. Yes I homeschool and take care of my kids. It’s a worth deserving of pride- to be both a leader or a supporter. While I don’t agree with stating claiming “ownership” to women, upon the general rule isn’t a modern man that I know who thinks this way. Leadership is by setting the example, not being a tyrant. You have to know the man you choose to lay with, and sub out those minorities from your selection. Edit: I changed supporter/subservience to supporter/submission/subservience Choose what you see fit.
@@symonelewis1690 How much money anyone makes doesn’t give anyone the right to treat anyone like a doormat, man or woman. Btw some women act the same with finances, I’d say its a people thing. That being said BOTH men and women CHOOSE the people they want to be with and the QUALITIES that come with them which includes the way they treat you/finance your life. So if you have a problem with the way a man or woman is treating you, financing or NOT financing your life the power is in your hands to move forward rather than give that person any more of your time no? Otherwise once you choose a person you innately are choosing to comply with them both men and women. If you dont want to comply/cooperate stay single and take care of your own finances. I think we can all agree that neither men or women are entitled to anything even funerals cost money🤷♀️
Men, you can date 50/50 if you want, but be realistic and don’t expect her to be fit, feminine, and cooperative. Fit, feminine and submissive energy is what provider men receive, you can’t get it if you are 50/50.
what in the blue-pill simpery are you TALKING about? no they dont ; they get " settled for" until the next chad/tyrone enters the playing-field. not unless you're a house-hold-name-level rich and famous ; and even that isnt any type of guarantee.
So basically don’t ask for a women to take care of herself or be a good person unless you pay all the bills? Lmao y’all don’t even deserve that because you bring ntn to the table.
So why would being 50/50 affect her fitness? Or anything else? Those are commodities you purchase and not personality traits a woman already has or not?
Hhhhhhhhhhhhh sad but true I wouldn't expect someone to say it as crude as he did lollll by the way recently I dated someone who was my friend ex she was very ok me being with him since she left him and moved on .. I remember when he was with her he paid for everything and when I dated him he refused to pay any thing ..... The only explanation I had is that my friend was ten years younger and relatively fit while I had 10 kg overweight I don't put fake lashes I don't paint nails I rather focused on nurturing him and healing his wounds I didn't expect him to body Shame me for ten Kg overweight knowing that he's obese hahaha men are strange u only learn one thing ur net worth is depending on ur phisique so don't be nice to them yet don't be mean just be mindful with every tiny thing u bring to the table until u make sure that the guy is not a sort of homeless unicorn erring in utopia thinking that he can take women for granted....make sure he deserves before investing a tiny seed of feeling
This is a message that real men already understand. It’s the men with mommy and daddy issues, who need to learn. If you want a traditional woman, you must be a traditional man.
My father is traditional and my mother brings 50 and she is still very feminine with him. So she supposed to act masculine because she has a life too? Lmfao wtf
This is so true. Men don’t realize that being fifty fifty means fine I’ll be fifty with you but most women who make money also do most of the cooking, cleaning, errands, child rearing, etc. which is not fifty percent! They want a woman to do all the traditional things at the same time adding a modern twist that does not support the traditional things you want to see with your woman.
And women never touch mowing the yard, servicing the car, taking out the trash, killing spiders, lifting anything, putting anything together, opening jars....
@@DeadlyPlatypus lol yikes. I don’t know anyone that’s so incompetent that they can’t put together some ikea furniture. You know they make grips to help open jars? They’re
@@chunli99 "Servicing the car is just going to have the car looked at." Yikes... Standard minimization of any male contribution by just claiming a woman can just pay ANOTHER man to do it for her...that's how women "do it themselves. "
@M I A You would have a point, if you weren't an idiot. What jobs do men pay a bunch of women to do (women who aren't their wives) and then complain about their wives not doing? If you say "cooking," congratulations, you played yourself. EVERYONE has to eat multiple times a day, vehicles get serviced every MULTIPLE months or MULTIPLE thousands of miles. So ANYONE can schedule their service in advance, meals are much more difficult. Not to mention, women ALSO pay other women to cook for them (mostly because women can't cook anymore), so that point would actually agree with me. Cleaning? Funny, this whole post is about SHARING responsibilities, and men are saying women are falling down on the job...but women just claim that they can unilaterally dismiss men's complaints. Sex? Cool, you're good with men getting prostitutes. So, go on. Tell me ALL of the ways men constantly complain, JUST like women do, about women not doing THEIR fair share.
L-O-L! Bring it on! It’s all fluff, absolutely no substance. If I’m in a relationship with a woman I want everything to be equal. I cook, I clean, I sew, I build, I raise, I invest, I nurture, I value. If a woman is willing to put just as much effort as me into a relationship, then there’s no reason for having this conversation to begin with.
This always sounds amazing except men cannot go half with the taxing process of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. However, I do respect that you do half of everything else, its minus the hypocrisy of most who believe the home is for the woman but still expect help with their area.
I remember when my ex and I broke up. I got a higher paying job doubling my salary. He wanted to get back together and I thought we could work it out. But he wouldn't stop asking me how much money I made. I never wanted to share that info because we weren't married or living together. He got mad cause I wouldn't share my salary info with him. He only wanted to know so he could get me to pay for more stuff. He rarely paid for anything and I never signed up to be the breadwinner. Some men want women to carry the load. It's a lot
@@vonking9118 If you have to use "cap" for the term lie then you're not intelligent. Men do this all the time with nurses. It's called "nurse with a purse." Some of these travel nurses are pulling $8,000- $10,000 a WEEK and their partners are at home sitting down. Even staff nurses are making $40/hr as new staff nurse. Then you factor in the overtime and the differential pay for the weekends or working night shifts and your talking $65-$70/hr. I went on a date with a guy and I made the mistake of saying my income because he asked randomly but then his eyes bugged out of his head. Next date he made me pay for his food and my food. When the check came the guy serving us gave him the check then he looks at me and was like "hey bri the check" and he came up with a lame excuse of why he couldn't pay. I paid, but that was the last time we went on a date and I never saw him again and don't ever plan to lay my two eyeballs on him again.
The sister is absolutely right! A sister who brings “50 plus” to the table is a breadwinner, intelligent and can think for herself and now she’s to play the submissive wife, that makes absolutely no sense.
So your saying just because she bring 50% she don't have to be submissive, and still do wifey duties, then the man don't owe her protection, or anything else. If u women honestly think this way, get a cat and die alone, ur logic is stupid as fuck.
Plus wtf are we supposed to be submitting to like what are they leading I'm so confused on what's going on and what people are asking for like I could have swore relationship was about love and not control
If you’re paying 50% as a woman you don’t have to submit, just know why and what you’re in the relationship/roommate situation for get yours and do you
You having sex w/ your roommate? You marrying your roommate? You think your roommate is dying for you? Fighting for you? Also, in the court system in 2022, if the man pays for everything he also has to pay alimony. If bills are 50-50 he is less likely to pay alimony since both parties carried the bills.
So since you not giving up 50/50 Then what is the woman's role to become equal in a healthy relationships? There's more to being a woman than having children& being a homme maker. The way i hear it nowadays females feel that they are the prize and don't need to add/ bring anything to the table.
Men.. If you want a woman who happily splits the bills.. go find her… ladies if you want a man who pays 70% of bills.. go find him. I don’t think anyone is wrong. Not everyone is for everyone 🤷🏾♀️ we all have preferences.
Exactly! People doing way too much shaming, when they should just get with people they mesh with. I notice people who do that, are always single and miserable.
A free maid, chef, surrogate, therapist, sex partner and nanny. Things he could never afford if he had to actually pay different women to do. Basically he gets everything back and then some.
I do agree with you. However I do find it amusing that modern women strives for equality where it’s convenient and undermines it when it’s inconvenient.
@@justlynn5693 I believe the man is the head and leader of the household. Much of the responsibility falls on the man. We are called to provide a vision for the family as well as safety, shelter, nourishment etc. This is achieved in partnership with his wife however a man has to take responsibility for his family. My comment about equality was a tongue in cheek remark about modern feminism and equality as it opposes stable family foundation.
This is one reason why modern day relationships don’t last. Both people are competing thinking as individuals instead of thinking as a team. This rhetoric is being pushed everyday but it’s getting relationships nowhere. Many don’t even make it past the honeymoon phase. Why do y’all insist on doing the same 💩that hasn’t worked?
Why is your understanding of this automatically “competing”? Do you really think women don’t have great idea and insights? My husband and I come together to make decisions and it works wonderfully. I have some experiences he doesn’t and Vice versa. So sometimes we agree my approach males more sense. Sometimes his does. How is this concept so foreign and automatically bring you notions of strife? 🤣. It’s working together eith someone. Very simple. Kids learn to do this in elementary school lol.
Yes If I have to bring 50% your no longer wearing the pants probably some capris! But not pants! Because at that point I'm doing all my job AND half yours!!
Do you now the system has designed it this way do men find to hard to get a job But the woman can, To break up the black home and you ppl.are falling for it.
There are men who are intimidated with 50+. I’ve experienced that and it created some tension in the relationship. Us women have to be extra careful to not to select a man who will feel insecure about it.
She just made a point for us men. When women are expected to carry their own weight in a relationship they become bitchy. Using the word energy to cover up what we know as irritation is just face saving.
@@adolphus2002I don’t believe in using money to be bossy. If a woman acts like that, then she does not need to be with a man and vs versa. Relationships should be enjoyable. A person cannot enjoy a relationship with a bossy person.
@@adolphus2002I’m starting to think wmn truly look down on those who have less than them. So if their in a relationship, and they see they have more than somebody, they sometimes will choose negative feelings while men don’t care.
@@adolphus2002 because its nature for men to provide 100%, why would 50% give him an attitude? How do you expect a woman to be 50% masculine and not have an attitude? You want another man in your house. That's what you'll get, 2 bulls in a kraal.
Marriage will always be 50/50. Even if he pays for the major bills the money you have left behind will still go back to him, in the form of saving for a mortgage, saving for kids tuition, saving for vacation etc...That is what is means to be a family. This is why originally, after a divorce, people split their assets 50/50..it was because they all made contributions.
If it's 50/50 money wise as a permanent arrangement, I will feel like I'm doing more. At least more than I should. Resentment will likely follow, eventually. Even if I earn half of what my husband earns, it's best he covers more of the bills, and more of my extra goes into savings or investments for the family, because of the money I'm also bringing in, in reality. I will still see him as a provider, that way. I will feel taken care of by my husband, if it is configured that way. Even though we 'earn the same amount'. I can't really respect a man who is okay or comfortable seeing me carrying the same burden as him. Rightly or wrongly, that's how I feel.
I’m so glad to hear someone else say this….thank you. It makes absolutely no sense for a man to want an alpha female, then try to turn her into a submissive
@Kimberly Taylor no disrespect, but please stop thinking that everybody just wants what's best for you. Divide and conquer is a VERY real strategy. The most organic form of security that every person on earth has is Family. It's the best safety net in the world. Once that safety net is destroyed, and everyone is cast upon their own resources with no one to help if things go left; the only one who wins is the one who makes the rules. It's not about people having money. It's about power. Let's stop listening to false narratives, reestablish our families, and bring power back to our communities.
When you're married, it IS a team effort. There is no 50%. It's always 100% from both people. I feel sometimes we forget that! Now there are some exceptions to that 100% from each person. If there's a major surgery, maybe death in the family, or some life changing event, then you must pick up the slack from the other person. Therefore it needs to be a team effort.
My husband was not down with that 50/50 thing from the beginning. But he knew it was the thing I needed in the beginning to feel safe. Once I saw he was a safe person for me to trust, I no longer did the 50/50, and it enabled me to also trust him enough to reproduce with him and let him handle all of the bills while I was so vulnerable.
It's OK to go Dutch in the beginning. In fact men prefer it as well to avoid getting scammed by Free meal ticket 304s. Once the guy knows that the girl is safe to be around and not scamming him then they can enter their masculine and provide.
I was raised by a family that worked together, my mother wasn't a scrounge. They've been together 40 years. My mum earned more. They pool there money together and it's both of therew. No arguments. If I want to pay money for a woman to be in my life, I'll go see a whore
Preach you literally get what you pay for❤They want a hybrid situation they want her income but still want to run everything and tell her what to do and make all the decisions including finances and have her care for the kids and home 99% of the time
So men are paying MORE to end up with a broke girl who will just leach off him. So you're saying that marrying a bum is the best value? LOL girl, tell me you're broke without telling me you're broke.
@@skinnyguy7773 That’s what you got out of my comment 🙃 A couple of things In no way am I being condescending I will explain it better since you missed the point in its entirety. I often hear men say things such as “my grandmother cooked cleaned and took care of the kids I want traditional”. So I ask them well did your grandmother work they always say no. Then I ask well the way this economy is set up are you able to provide for the family while the woman stays at home most say no. My parents were married until my dad passed my mother didn’t work outside of the home other than getting a few dollars at a department store around the holidays for gifts. She did all the cooking all the cleaning and helped us with homework etc. BUT SHE DID NOT WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME My dad worked he never had to come home cook or anything because she took care of that as it should be. Sadly I know women who will work just like the man sometimes making more money who literally drive themselves into the grave early because they work and come home and do EVERYTHING driving kids to activities ALL the cooking all the cleaning. They let themselves go they lack sleep they gain weight too exhausted for frequent sex and they work themselves to sickness while the man who works just like them sits back and relaxes and doesn’t do much some of these men won’t even cut grass they pay someone or worse some women do it. So when I say hybrid situation that’s what that is. So basically a hybrid situation is a situation where most men can’t afford traditional but demand traditional by having the woman do everything traditionally instead of ONLY taking care of the home and family AS her only job she STILL works a full time job outside the home. Hats off to women who don’t take care of themselves, I plan to be here for my grandkids not dying early because of slave labor. If she takes care of them home and kids pretty much 100 percent and doesn’t not work that’s fine and ideal But if she does ALL of that while a man is there and she works just like he does she is being used. He will contribute helping with kids and cleaning I have no problem cooking all the meals but there is no way in hell I would work FULL TIME LIKE HIM AND COME AND DO EVERYTHING
This money shit is excuse ls for certain behavior to be tolerated. Instead of people just being who they are. With accepting that you might be single, because of who you are, and what you like. Money just enhance who you are. It enhances what already in you.
@@jchapful Simple most men like multiple women correct? A man who has options, but don’t have the Money typically can’t maintain it. So when you got 🍞 it enhances what’s already there. You got money now that man has 2 or 3 women, and is like this is what is or move around.
Sistas please just Divest lol I promise you, they don’t have those “50/50” “Struggle love, ride or die” convos over here. (Unless they’re dusty identified) My husband of 3 years, is Italian-Caprese & Sicilian and the way he’s exemplified what true Manhood & Leadership is, is Ineffable! In his culture, it’s an insult, for a man to financially survive off of a woman. There is no honor, for an adult male, who can’t or won’t provide, for his family. I adore, respect & revere him, like the king of all Kings & he lays every glorious wonder, of this world, at my feet 🤎🤎 Tesoro mio!
That's funny because alot of white women work. If you think the majority of white women married or in a relationship, are sitting at home, and living lavish then you are delusional 🤣🤣🤣. I live in socal, and just about everyone white couple i know, who are living in lavish live in a dual income household.
Serious question: were you childless when you married him? Many BW can't "divest" with another man's children in tow. We have to be honest that it's cultural and not racial.
🤦🏽♂️ Don’t come selling these women false illusions like “just divest”. Just bc one outcasted Italian couldn’t get a woman of his own race and decided to dive through the dumpsters of the black community and found you in the gutter.. doesn’t mean that every black woman would be so fortunate. Black women have the highest obesity rates and are known as the poster child’s for bad attitudes and combativeness, that’s why no man of ANY race is checking for yall. You’re setting your sistas up for failure. Bw can get smashed and passed around by European men at best. And stop talking about divesting like it’s some brand new strategy, bw been gagging on pink sausage since Loving Vs Brown, but only .00001% of y’all will actually marry a snow king. You will always be considered the most unattractive to men of other races. The only thing is that now even black men are realizing that we can’t continue to set our standards this low, with a passport we can get a non western black woman who isn’t built like Lizzo and doesn’t wear red weaves and bonnets in public. Pasa buena ✌🏾
The partners have to really analyze their situation. Before my late husband died he worked so I could stay home with the kids. We ended up starting a business. When this happened I was still at home with kids, household chores, running the back office, setting up the business on the back end, being the customer service rep, and still going on jobs with him and did physical labor. At that point I thought it would become 50/50 and he would help me out around the house or at least with the kids, dinner something. But I still ended up having to do it on my own. Men need to be upfront with what they really want from that woman. But the biggest aspect is knowing they can't have their cake and eat it too.
The best relationship I ever had was when my ex used to pay and take care of all the bills. I never saw one bill. I rarely asked him for extra money to do this or that. I made sure the house was clean, food was cooked, and his clothes laid out/ironed. I truly appreciated everything he did for me, even til this day. I get what she's saying though because I've definitely had to bring more than 50 percent.
@@Jane5720 yes, he didn't want children and I had a daughter... so obviously I was going to choose my daughter over a man. He thought I was like other women that would leave her kid with her parents all the time and I didn't. If I wasn't working then my daughter was with me.
I was looking for this comment. I'm whole on my own. I'm not marrying anyone that's not whole either. So when we come together we can bring 100/100 and our cup runneth over. That's why God said 1 shall put 1,000 to flight but two shall put 10,000 to flight. That's 100 * 100. 50/50 is to ensure neither of you'd tank is full.
Finally a real man comment! Was looking for this! They still exist! It's important to bring 100! People seem like they are only for self an nit for their significant other. A helpmate will give what is needed and desired, not just a financial bringing. Because where is the support, nurture, softness, strength (on a feminine level). I'm not into being a roommate, but a wife, and that includes doing it all if he gets hurt, and vice versa if I give birth, or get hurt. Working together like a well oiled Machine. Our melanated people are always for self. But ants prove the power of togetherness, but our people focus on ant power, but would rather want, and do for self.
@@thelifeofdclay5815 do us a favor, and please stay alone. You would want that woman to cook, clean, nourish and nurture you, take care of your kids, and pay 1/2 the bills...but what about her in return. If she doing most of it,, what does she need you for? Because you won't protect her, she can pay someone to do that. There is power in a man's responsibility to protect and provide. If she is doing that, what are you doing again, besides laying pipe? 🤔 It's not a bad thing if you do it together, however a man is emasculated if the woman makes more. Invest with y'all's money that she brings in, start a business with the money she brings in. But the mindset you provide at this moment...stay to yourself brother. NO disrespect.
Facts. Now this is not a contest but Once I started making more than my husband, he made it his mission to go out and make more than me. I asked him why and he said because there cannot be 2 head of the household. When I thought about it I was like I know that’s right. 😂
It’s disgusting that you’re agreeing that just because you make more, that would make you head of household. Put your dick away and let him be the man. You women are weird
@@hospitaladministrator3359 Before I put it away… get on your knees bih. 😂 Plus… my husband agrees. I actually get to rest in all my femininity. 🧖🏾♀️💅🏾💆🏾♀️ 🧚🏾♂️ Don’t be mad. 🤭
I’m that woman who brings 80-100% and remain a lady holding my own. That means I can have it all with you or without you while maintaining it all if you decide to leave. Pick your poison sir. 💁🏽♀️
I honestly don't gaf what my spouse makes. I make enough on my own to support myself and then some and have for a long time and continue to. Always put money aside as well. The dumb thing is, people acting like money makes you more important in a relationship. I see it as household income "WE" make together despite being a breadwinner or not. Percentage is dumb anyhow in this case as if I make 100k and she makes 500k it's not like either person is gonna be hurting in life. I find you only need so much in life to live by and I always live well below my means. Relationships are way more than money folks.
Yeah ok look who's complaining these are the same one's broke looking for a come up, I don't care how much a woman makes but how much do you owe, most of these broads got huge student loan debt (and Biden ain't going to forgive these loans, thanks to the supreme court) and other debt, you would be a fool to marry someone and don't care what their financial situation is and their spending habits are, that's simp move and then you gon be in jail due to domestic disputes over finances and then she gon take half lol.
You just stated a fact, I have never in my entire life heard or seen a man asking for 50/50 in terms of finance, most men would prefer a supportive woman that can support in her own little way, maybe this picture she is painted is in the USA.
I understand what she is saying, me splitting everything down the middle makes us equal like roomates because I'm putting in just as much so you wont get the same reverence as being the head or leader of the family. Then there are guys that expect the woman to contribute half but still be responsible for all the cooking, cleaning, and washing...no, that would need to be split as well
It seems based on these comments that women just want to live off men. Live for free and let the man work and spend all his money on them (bills dates trips gifts) and they keep their money. And base "the table " as being being pretty and sex. That's simply not enough. There are too many women that are pretty and giving sex.
@@Mr1Musiclover If a woman wants that then they wouldn't even go half. There are women that desire and want sugar daddies and to each iits own but if you want a roomate then that's what you will get if you expect a women to split bills down the middle. Most women are not going to serve you and put you on a pedestal like a king...plus, if I'm splitting bills the household chores will be split as well. My husband and I have been together for 27 years, married for 20 and he has never asked me to help pay the mortgage. He keeps a roof over our head as a man is required to do Biblically and I pay the bills, but to each its own.
@@LKS-M9323 exactly, if you want 50/50 you want a roomate and not a wife. Men can get a woman that will settle for 50/50 but she's not going to cater to you and put you on a pedestal like a king. A woman should feel like she needs her man and a guy going in 50/50, is replaceable...my sister can move in and go half with me if we ever seperate. You do know that women have only been allowed to work in this country for about the last century (100 years) so prior to that everything was on the man, many countries still don't allow women to work but even the Bible says a man is to provide and shelter his family spiritually and physically. A man had to pay an endowment and bring the woman's family gifts of gold, silver, live stock and other precious things to show he had the ability to take care of her. That's why the father walks her down the aisle and gives her away. He said I have raised, provided for, and protected my daughter and she has carried my last name...I am now handing her over to you to do the same. You will now provide for, protect, and cover her and she will carry your last name. It's a partership and the woman contributes in many other ways than just finacially. My husband says the men at work get jelous of him because while they eat out for lunch and he unpacking pot roast, collards, mac and cheese, and cornbread. Also, I don't mind making him salmon croquettes, grits and eggs before he leaves but if we were going half he could grab a frozen breakfast sandwhich to heat on the way out. It's not the same level of reverance. We've made woman enpowerment, liberation, or being equal to men the norm and that's why the black family and our kids are messed up. I do work but I don't have to stress myself to bring in a salary equal to his because my load is lighter. So far it's worked for us 27 years and his parents were married 35 years before his father passed away. What we are doing now ain't working and the black family is suffering.
A key component of this concept is the "ask". A man making a woman brining 50% out the gate no matter what is going to evoke a different response than "I want to give you the world and I'm doing my best but for now we have to work together to make ends meet. " One sounds and feels to the woman that you are not that into her, don't REALLY care about her and are not willing to make any sacrifice. This will produce a woman thT will struggle to relax, and fully trust you. In short it matters WHY you're asking a woman to pay half..
The why (at least for me) is simple…… I just want to know that you’re as equally invested in this as i am. I’m just trying to make sure that I’m not being manipulated and/or used. I’m actually not a person who cares about what a female has on a monetary level, but when it becomes a STIPULATION/OBLIGATION that i finance this relationship…… Houston we have a problem
@Anthony Greer I sincerely understand your logic. But men and women show their commitment and investment differently. Have you considered that requiring that a woman show investment the way a man would is putting her in her masculine energy and thus sabotaging what could be a solid relationship? The point is relationships are a risk men and women do their best to mitigate risk through vetting not insulating themselves with requirements they dont trruly care about, now you're not being yourself either...game players get played. I truly hope you rethink this strategy all the best to you and feel free to share your thoughts!
@@reneebrown4610 They’ll never outright say it, they’ll just beat around the bush & try to shame you into thinking that you’re the one that’s outta pocket by wanting to know that your time isn’t being wasted & what you’ll get for your investment
Exactly! BINGO! don’t ask for a 50/50 partner but you don’t want the 50/50 ideas, opinions, decisions, problem solving, direction, and etc. she comes with a mind of her own! If you want that woman your granddad had, you have to be the type of provider leader and visionary your granddad was!!!!
I genuinely agree with this comment. But I (along with a relatively large group of men out there) don't want those old school women anymore because we don't even plan on having kids or getting married. We just want a chill roommate who pays for half the bills and lets us smash .
Your grandad wasn’t a visionary. Idk why y’all think this shit is hard bro. Your just weird as hell. If you don’t have kids then this role shit won’t work, it would only work if y’all have kids. If y’all don’t then stfu about “affording” because 9x/10 women can’t afford men if we using the same terms.
but that's okay though. Split checks, both work, both do the household and raise the child. Like I'm sorry but I grew up not knowing a lot of kids that came from a wealthy background, had their first car at 18, or attended private uni etc that came from families where only one parent worked. Which frankly is unsurprising, 2 people bring more money home than 1. Most rich kids I know had 2 working parents. Most poor kids I know come from families which employ a "M = provider, W = caregiver" concept, happening predominantly in migrant families.
lol imagine thinking any of you woman hold a candle to that generation of woman, you showing you dont by even suggesting all they were after was money they wanted a family, most modern woman in the west get flogged out until mid 30s then wanna settle down, most of our grandmas were a one man lady and married young
Very true and well said. The expectation men have for a woman to be and maintain being feminine while expecting her to pay 50% is counterproductive. That is what creates competition. Its essentially saying share my role (that is designed by nature) as a man to provide. Maintaining a valuable and healthy womanhood takes more time, money, and energy than the maintenance of manhood. Having to provide automatically puts a woman in masculine energy.
@@jwoods9659 Do just that. Valuable women are not interested and are staying away and single from guys like you. A “real” man is what a valuable woman wants. Dusty 50/50 feminized men are not the prize or in our radar. Thank you for recognizing that it’s best you keep your income and stay in your lane.
@@sade9425 because I don't find giving every single dime I make to you. And God forbid I get sick I can't work any longer you lady's will be gone poof the next day. My mother stood with my step father while he went through cancer I won't hold my breath that I will find a woman that will do the same for me. Men are more than open wallets.
One guy that wanted to date/marry me told my Mother he wanted a 50-50 relationship. My Mother told him my Daughter know nothing about 50-50 relationships. She said, "her Father pays all the bills in this house. My Mother brings in all the extras, she worked part time on Saturday's only." My Mother and I took care of the home inside my my Brother took care of the outside lawn care, window washing, snow removal. They were partners who work together. My Mother started her own traveling agency and my Father travel with my Mother for free around the world. I said all that to say, I didn't marry the guy that wanted the 50-50 relationship. But what I learned from that conversation was the difference in being brought up in a home with a Mother and Father who both contributed to the home and family and those who grow up in single family home, ( which he did with 7 Sisters and Brothers) their perspectives on relationship may be different then yours based on experiences!
In many European homes with both parents everything goes 50/50! It’s insane for me to believe that a man must be financially accountable for 100% of the bills. Completely insane
If its 50/50 on bills,then he does his own laundry,meals,dishes, cleaning,etc. cant have it both ways. I can go half with a roommate that i don't have to skrew! Dang be a man or a mouse.
This sounds like a relationship devoid of love/affection. Successful long term relationships spanning 15/20+ years (with kids or without) all have the couple working as a couple. Mind you these are just people I know - at least like 12 couples. And they’re all black from mostly Caribbean backgrounds. Truth is long term relationships require investment by both people in tangible and intangible ways. A nice gift twice a year honestly means VERY little to a man. Build with him and that’s a whole different (wifey) level.
I responded to this because this comment I’ve seen before and I really think I’m missing something behind the logic of not wanting to contribute financially to a relationship - assuming the man is industrious and forward moving
@@WriteTheVisionAndMakeItPlain Hello Minimah, what are the channel names? I'm so sick of this popping up in my recommendations. I prefer to see black married couples.
Men need to understand what it means to be a man. Do you want a wife or a roommate? I love how my husband does not care to tell me what to bring in the household. He told me when he met me "I will work hard to provide for you cause I don't want you to go out here working hard or long hours like a man. I want you to keep your femininity but you can definitely feel free to get a job or start your own career if you wish to." This is the reason why we have raised our children in a healthy manner where we don't dump them on people for daycare. I love teaching my children and keeping them safe from this weird world we live in. I thank you God for my marriage and for my phenomenal husband ♥️🙏. I couldn't be in a relationship with a man with such expectations. This will cause such an imbalance and I can't afford to show my children the disassociation in our society on what a man and a woman have become with these expectations rather than creating perfect balance with understanding. Now if I am a successful CEO then I don't mind bringing in 200% but I'm still going to be the wife and mom I need to be for my children and husband.
@@nayjavu You have a mind that is set on control. It shows in your thought process. What makes you think that's everyone's intention. You are incapable of a healthy love life. Again my opinion is mine and you are entitled to yours.
@@daisyogoli It’s a shame how out of tune with reality people have become. You have a MAN a man to love, provide, and protect. And the above comment said “he’s keeping you in line” 🤦🏾♀️ why oh why are we so lost. This generation is confused, so seeing an example of a healthy, masculine, providing, protective man is a shocker ! I can’t with people🤦🏾♀️ I really can’t
you need 50 50 period. If he gets hurt sick or Dies , you should be able to keep yall head above water and vise versa. Smfh sad how some of yall females don't understand the basic concept of 50 50
Once you have a husband these conversations are not for you, because your single dating life stopped, and you are not searching, so you can't assist because you don't know personally what is on the market
The problem is in these conversations we’ve turned life love and relationships into a paycheck. We live in a society where inflation is crazy. I’ll make enough money to pay all of my family’s bills and I told my wife to work and continue to build her career because you never know what may happen next And the day may come where she makes more money than I do that has nothing to do with leadership in my house. A lot of women are holding men hostage to a paycheck and if you’re going to do that, just go find a man that is rich and you won’t have to worry about that. If you have a man in your life that you don’t respect, then you don’t need to be with him but let’s stop making this about a paycheck.
Sir, you do know that the way you presented it is not bad. Obviously, there is inflation, but the people she is talking about are men who do not lead but want 50/50 and to lead with no plan. You sound like you are a man with a plan. There are also people who just put her money to work in other areas but focus on living on one income to ensure the pressure remains lower. Anyhow, I don’t believe her message is for you. I think you get a pass.
@@Regina.Clarke I think my issue is times have changed and women want to choose between what’s convenient for them in a given situation. No woman really wants to be dominated anymore like the 60s and women have fought for equal rights and empowerment rightly so. So I don’t think that this should be a conversation because women have the same earning power as men do but I think women have to be selective and be with men that understand who they are what they want and they’re able to lead without dictating. Because we’re living in the day where women don’t want to be dictated to leadership with understanding and empathy and not dictatorship. 50-50 does not make you a roommate. It makes you partners building a legacy for the future. It’s just all about how you view it and how it’s set up in your home.
Any man paying for everything will expect to be judge and jury of that household. Neither side really wants what comes with that. This entire 50/50 conversation is dumb. Men aren’t trying to pay for everything. And women aren’t trying to shut up and let him make all the decisions. Split the bills. Split the chores. And call it a damned day.
@@HollyG95 Arguing about it is dumb. In our current society with modern social trends and economic trends it makes no sense. It's like arguing over rotary home phones vs push button home phones. Its an argument no longer applies to the reality on the ground. At least for the vast majority of men and women.
I agree but the thing is, men do not want to cook and clean. What they want is a woman who will do 50/50 only on bills but maintain femininity by cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children as well which is insane. But then while bringing only 50% financially, they want to get treated as a man who brings 100%. It's quite silly. On the flip side women ask for a man who brings 100% but don't realize it means it you have to kiss the ground he walks on. I do believe the man that pays 100% is the necessary evil because the man who pays only 50% is so bad that it forces her to accept the cruel nature of the 100% man. Women value how responsible and competent a man is over treatment and freedom. Asking a women to pay 50% is like admitting you're incompetent. The attitude from that woman will come out uncontrollably. That is what the woman in this video was warning 50% men about.
@@-glitch-8195 Incompetent to who? A grown man taking care of himself has already proven himself to be a competent adult. He doesn't need a woman's stamp of approval. A man can have a girlfriend with all of the benefits while still living alone and paying his own bills. If he is going to give both solitude and money to take care of a full grown adult, best believe he's giving orders and not taking them. Relationships and sex can be had without moving a woman in. If she has an attitude because you won't literally fund her lifestyle that's his cue to move on.
This is true! Don’t expect “half”…AND submission…respect as the “leader”, etc! THAT is the problem I have with men marrying women who “pay” for everything! Now YOU, “man”, are her CHILD…NOT her MAN! 😢
So if a man pays you are the child? If you make enough money you should pay half or the fair share. But you still have to submit to your man. Otherwise dont get in a relationship if you dont feel like submitting to that man. Get a girlfriend then, baby. You can be the butch dominant alfa female. Have fun.....
I'm whole on my own. I'm not marrying anyone that's not whole either. So when we come together we can bring 100/100 and our cup runneth over. That's why God said 1 shall put 1,000 to flight but two shall put 10,000 to flight. That's 100 * 100. 50/50 is to ensure neither of you's tank is full. I find this conversation to be prevalent with people who are coming with lack mentality in their singlehood. No, stay single until you're whole. Elevate so that you can only find your partner on that level above. When you're both 100, there's more than enough to go around and to spill over. 50/50 is struggle love. Singles equipped with ALL the skills necessary to run a home (emotional, physical, mental, financial and spiritual) stay in a constant flow of pouring into each other. There's no shortage. If you need help for mundane tasks, you can afford to hire help. If you need your partner to stand in for you, you trust their prowess. Don't settle. Find someone who's growing and elevating.
Hunnay, this is just bills they're talking not 50% commitment or effort. It's about splitting bills...don't try to make it sound deeper or complicated.
@@Yabadabadoo29 🤣🤣🤣 kumbaya bs right here lol. 50.50 on bills that's it. If I was independent in my own house then you remove from my house to yours then I still have to pay the same amount of money I was paying alone .... ummm so does he think he's the only one who wanna save some coins???? Plus throw in some kids and suddenly 50.50 doesn't work for him. Even changing a diaper he can't lol.
@@Yabadabadoo29 I'm sorry you're into struggle love. Will you do 50/50 on household chores or capital purchases? Outings and errands too? How about raising the kids? Lol. 50/50 my ass. If you think marriage is not complex or deep, please stay single. It's for those who cherish the simplicity of life.
Exactly if that’s what women want then think twice. I’m definitely not asking for 50 but it depends how much each person earns for one. In my last marriage I was making triple what she made. I didn’t even ask for help. I paid 95/5. That 5 was groceries. Just because I didn’t have time. Also we had a joint account and she took whatever she needed anyway. But you might as well not work with that attitude or do you want to be more of an empowered educated woman with a career. If you’re a career woman you’re making 50k and up right. You get to pocket all that money? Damn now is that my money as well if you’re saving it when shit hits the fan it’s yours and you’re out?
@@queenprincess4life I don’t know your experiences but men are on average more logical than women. So we can conclude most men would agree with this logic
I’m not the head and my girl is not the neck we are both the whole body and mind, we both contribute in every aspect. This line of thought is so immature and just shows why people have bad relationships and have no communication. We cook together , we clean together, we budget together because that’s what a relationship is…being together, working together 100/100. All and everything she does is beautiful to me, even snoring her brains out when I got to be up at 6am 😂
100/100 sounds about right, however there may be some caveats from time to time, and that’s okay. Who wants 50% of anything or anyone? It’s trash talk and makes no sense. Just thoughtless rhetoric parroted over and over again. In relationships, the parties involved are to step up accordingly. It’s a union, and if the 2 parties are invested, naturally they’re going to put in the work, picking up where the other leaves off or may slack, or may not be capable of doing.
@@d.shidon I agree with you whole heartedly. It gets depressing when people try to trivialize it or pretend we’re not all humans in this world learning to work together. I think to many people just have bad relationships and tend to blame the other side. They aren’t realizing if they looked at it without bias that bad relationships really stem from immaturity and lack of communication. Nothing can be perfect but those things help immensely.
Thank You, basic common sense. Too many women these days want Traditional Roles but don't want to be told what/how to do bcus it's "misogyny". If you both have to work then you both have to work. It is what it is but chores still need to be done regardless. You were doing when you were single so what's the problem now. This isn't a thing you can cherry pick at, do the work that needs to be done Together and move forward
Honestly! I’d love to help budget with my husband and cook with him and clean with him. The problem is that so many issues pop up due to lack of communication within couples
Yeah ... Before I made less than my husband and when he would say, "We don't have the money for that." Then I instantly just dropped it, no big deal, we don't have the money for it. But now we make the same amount, I pay half the bills, AND I do the majority of the housework... If he says, "We don't have the money for that." I'm just like, "Yes we do." Instantly. I'm buying that thing that I want.
@@catrinafarr3402 I understand, but the point is that we make the same, we're each paying for the same amount of bills, but I am still doing more housework for some reason... So, my opinion should hold equal weight, if not more weight than his. It's like in the RUclips short here, she said to always pay more than 50% of the bills, or else your woman will have head energy... I'm agreeing with that. I have an attitude about my money... Where I didn't before.
@@ChyneiceSoYounique she can bring all the neck and head energy she wants, but it's just like Mike Tyson said you can have a plan until you get knocked in the mouth 🙄
@@alpoyao9758 You need to be in jail. You sound like the next Jeffery Dahamer. You think thats cute what you just said. The only girls that stay with you are the ones who have low self-esteem. I wish a man would lay his hand on me because he thinks I have "attitude" That will be the day you wish you were never born. I wouldn't lay my hand on you I would make sure that the law prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law then make sure you get fired from your job.
The best thing about feminism is that it freed men from the historical and cultural obligation to protect and provide for women at the expense of their own happiness and wellbeing. Amen 🙏🏻
America really overestimate how much income the avg American has. MOST PPL IN THIS COUNTRY HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY TO SURVIVE. Most ppl *roughly 75%* can't afford to front 100% of the bills.
As a man, I have no respect for any man that expects his woman to bring 50% fund into the relationship. Though, I expect a woman to support whn the chips are short.
If I had my choice, my wife and I with 5 Kids, I would pay for everything, but realistically My entire paycheck goes to the Mortgage plus an extra $3000 a year toward the Mortgage. My wife has to pay for the rest of the house bills. We have no car payment, no credit cards. We pay cash for everything including cars.
You missing out on benefits... that can help add money, if you can pay everything on time with cash. Why not pay everything with CC that give you 4% cash back. Bills for year 30k × 4%CB You get $1200 that maybe an extra house note you can pay. You need to read up on how to make your money work for you. And benefits of Credit and how to make money off using credit.
This is so sad. Because I will write it knowing it will not be even considered..... You see you woman are our Queens and for the most part we(men) know this. But you ladies have clearly lost your way! Why do I say that? Because you clearly DO NOT CARE about what men want. THAT is the problem. Men nowadays are screaming at the top of their lungs that they do not care about a woman's money, and you refuse to hear it and the message that this sends is clear: YOU DO NOT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT MEN WANT. You are just not listening to us. IF you did, you would not say the opposite of the truth. Imagine me saying the following: "I think woman really need to hear this, I feel like a lot of ladies want a man that will stay at home while they work and take care of everything, but if they want us to be at home they better stay thin for us and keep that weight down". You would realize that I have no idea what Women actually want. Well this is what you are doing here. I can assure you without hesitation 95% of men do not care about your money. Yet you are saying men want 50 50. If you refuse to have a Disney fairytale viewpoint of reality WE will continue to get nowhere.
@@Jenjenn1111 they really do!! They have a problem with being the sole provider and call you a gold digger for wanting that. Then,they proceed to ask you to contribute financially to take care of the family and at the same time want you to cook,clean,take care of the kids and bend over backwards for them. I’d be damned if I ever stay in a situation like this. Not on my watch. If You are the provider and protector, I’m taking care of you,our kids and our home but if we 50/50 we are sharing other responsibilities as well. I ain’t your momma!!
Each person in a relationship has to bring 100%. They don’t have to put their needs above their partners, but they have to 100% of the time consider how their behavior and their choices will affect their partner. Each partner is 100% committed to being considered of the other person’s perspective. They do not have to agree on everything they do not have to like the same things. They do not even have to compromise. They need to find a third option. We’re both of them get their needs, met without any resentment.
Kinda makes sense psychologically. If you are paying the bills and welcome her into UR house unconsciously she will feel like a guest in your home and act accordingly. If she's paying 50% she will still feel somewhat independent and that she has a right to live there not because you allow her to.
Have you heard of women bringing nothing and taking everything in a Divorce ? Just saying a bad woman doesn’t need to pay the bills to be bad . That take care of your woman bullshit was valid before hookup culture. Now we share the bills cos old school respect for men is gone.
Exactly. You cannot pick and chose what aspects of a relationship you want. Both men and women are guilty of this. If you throw an apron at these same guys and tell them to get in the kitchen and cook because he gotta bring his 50, then they get offended and complain about how they're being emasculated. But somehow it is ok to push a woman into manhood? Y'll need to pick a side just like women who make entire agreements with men then turn around and cry "He's possessive" do. You cannot and will not have it both ways. Life is about choices. And choices have consequences. If you find yourself always pushing your choices onto the other person then please take some time away and reevaluate your life.
That's how me and my boyfriend live. Separate residences and finances. If he wants home cooked meals he buys all the food and brings it over, and I cook. But he pays for all dates because he has a high sex drive. The booty ain't free.
Lol & and don’t tell me you a black sister..you suppose to be fixing the problem..fixing the image of blk women being prostitutes..yet you here..selling ass to yo boyfriend
Why would a Literal Goddess reduce herself to beings that are less than her genetically. Anything that's not Melanated your settling for your Oppressor. WHEN YOUR OPPRESOR IS PULLING THR STRINGS TO KEEP US SEPERATED FROM OUR MELANATED MAN. SO ALL YOU DIVESTORS DESERVED A FIRINH SQUAD... and bringing forth them fucked ass kids...
You are 100 correct about that any of my white boyfriend who proposed to me let me already know that they would pay all the bills and take care of me and of course I let them know you'll never have to lift a finger when you walk through the door but black dudes nahhhhh they're mainly 50/50 because they can't afford ish ...not all but most
Black women can divest all they want. Mathematics is where y’all fail. You use your anecdotal experience to give black women advisement, but income statistics prove that the vast majority of men, regardless of ethnicity, do not make enough income to 100 percent support a wife and family. Not to also mention that people mostly stick within their own racial/ethnic groups. So mathematically and logically speaking, where are all these black women going to find these men to marry them?
I agree 100%! You can’t have it both ways you can’t have it that we’re equal whenever it is time for you not wanting to fit the bill fully but we’re not equals whenever you wanna throw your weight around and you want shit to go your way or the highway.
I really believe men need to focus first on what defines a man and learning what leadership means. It's too many males having these conversations, creating RUclips channels for views, but lack the mental and intellectual development to logically assess a 50/50 partnership. A lot of these "men" want to be seen as lions, when they're mentally and emotionally cubs.
Preach! Too many can barely lead themselves, let alone a woman.
What's a pub? Oh, you mean like a bar or something?
@@7thlion1 she meant "cub" like a baby lion
Interesting you used lions as your analogy. Female lions in the pride do the hunting yet "submit" to the male for protection. That's their nature, they don't have to learn how to submit or learn what it is to be a female lion.
@@michaelturnbull8460 nice try, you want 50/50 then be prepared to be less of a man in which a lot that expect that already are
My mother made almost 300k a year and my father about 55k. He was the one doing the housework and raising me while she was traveling for work. Now years later they have nightly fights over how he hates her because she never had a hot meal waiting for him when he came home as well as low libido because she was so exhausted being gone 3 weeks a month. I've been hearing about their fights over their lack of a sex life and his metaphorical castration since I'm about 7. It's caused alot of mental damage to me. Men who want women who bring 50%+ be ready to reclaim your feminine side otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure.
Wow, that’s a large salary, what did you mother do for a living, if you don’t mind me asking?
@@13ghosts18 AI for the US government
I feel like you father had a lot of nerve asking for meals when got home. Where is that written? Was your mother born with a spatula? Female slavery, but yet these men are the first ones to complain about white men enslaving them. Any man that wants to eat with a wife that works justine he does needs to know how to cook and feed himself. Ps feminine side does not translate into cooking and cleaning. If you are mentally damage from this,go get counseling from a license counselor. Don't run to church for it.
Bruh.
How dense are you?
They were fighting cuz she had ZERO respect for him because of the salary discrepancy and she was obviously effing somebody else and not him.
Being tired was a lie.
@@massagemodality366 I'm not religious. Also men and women have their respective roles to play. You want a man to court you, protect you, provide for you? Cooking a meal is the least you can do. Women act so tough because they pay car bills and can keep the lights on meanwhile all men do that and more for women
Strange, I am the total financial support system for my woman. My wife does the shopping, most of the housework and some errands and she helps handle finances. I realize what she is doing is work. What she does is not easy and It is greatly appreciated and needed. Some may call it traditional but it works for us. I do not ever expect my wife to pay for anything.
This is beautiful and Biblical. If only more men (& women) understood God's design in it's glory and wisdom.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Love this
This also largely depends on where one lives and what their purpose is. Not everyone lives in a country, region or city where it’s affordable to get ahead on one income.
This is beautiful , you are appreciated. Had out some lessons to the others
They want a remix of the back in the day stay at home moms but with a modern woman paycheck 😂while she get nothing but a roommate
kind of like women want sugar-daddies but dont want to give up the sugar
Funny how we’ve advanced so much individually but our families are non existent
We want a wife and a mother than supports us and peace..if you work you think you just get to keep all your money..😂😂😂 ignorance at its best..just not help at all..then stay the fk home and raise your children
@@vincelorino4394Hahaha right
And yet she will still expect him to put his life on the line to do some superman/ power rangers shit to protect her and that child
They only want 50 from the woman on bills...but they dont want to do 50 of everything else like household stuff, child care, etc.
Because in real life there is no 50/50 shit. People do different things in a relationship. In some things it will be 40/60 some 30/70 and so on.
@@7thlion1 Great, then the men asking for 50/50 should not be. Can’t be asking for 50/50 for bills, and then when it comes to other responsibilities, suddenly, “there’s no 50/50 in life”. LMAO. That’s just hypocrisy.
This right here. Exactly.
Or being faithful
I’ve never heard of a man who does 50 percent of chores at home and childcare, they might help some but they don’t do it like us. That’s because there’s biological differences between men and women and they are not conscientious like us so 50/50 often leads women to resent men bc she’s tired from working and feels it’s unfair split at home
Its bringing roommate ENERGY
Facts! If you're literally paying 50% of the bills, you could be roomating with one of your girlfriends
@@nikkilangloismetroatlantaa4857 no cooking. Laundry. Cleaning or child rearing. Just being responsible for ones self.
It’s bringing goodbye energy. Why must a woman bring over 50% to the table….?
Paying all a womans bills... Bring that its my child energy.. Lol.. U want traditional men but u dont want to be a traditional woman.... Western women... Lol... Dumb as fuck
I firmly believe this. It's happened to me twice.
Finally, this part of the conversation is getting more light. As men we can’t expect for women to submit, and be a great homemaker, while at the same time, asking her to be a career woman. If she’s doing both, then you have to do both as well.
Great point! You understand, try and impart that wisdom to your fellow men.
A king!! You get it. And in the end it’s not that difficult to grasp.
👏 👏 👏
Finally a man with common sense
🌬️💨💨💨 If only more men thought like this!💯💯💯
I have a friend that makes more money than her husband. When they had the child, she stayed home for 8 weeks, that’s all the time she was given before she would be without leave. But her money keep the household afloat. Sooooo she went to work and he stayed home with the baby. When I tell you it came with so many problems. Because even though he knew financially it made sense for him to stay home with the baby, he couldn’t help but feel emasculated. It’s hard to see himself as the head when he’s being a house dad while his wife go out to work and bring home the money. When men realize their ability to provide financially is connected to them being the head and getting the respect they desire, they’ll stop asking women for 50% of the bills. What’s practical doesn’t always feel right. Of course, she had a lot to say about how the money was spent because it was mostly his money. Even though he also had a voice in the decision making, he said he doesn’t feel like he can have the final say on things. Because deep down he knew he wasn’t paying for it. Until men understand how women work, they’ll understand that a expecting on your woman to pay half of everything isn’t going to bring the ultimate respect you truly desire.
That's dumb. Marriage is about team work, and if her going to work is the right choice, then be it. The well being of the child is more important than anyone's pride.
@@Alchemy_life There gonna be a lot of single women with these mindsets.
@@Ariovistus50which mindset is gonna leave women single, the one the original comment meant or the one you replied to?
I’ll ask you this then. So if a man pays for 60% of the bills does that mean he gets the final say?
@@wh3elson If you have to ask this then stay single
All of this 50/50 talk makes singleness look good.
Amen hahahaha
Thank You
I'm here thinking i don't even always feel like giving 50 to myself. I think that's why I'm good being alone. I don't have the mental, emotional, & physical space for someone else. Not even to date casually. I BARELY want to go out with friends. Never thought I'd grow up to be that single childless auntie, but i have zero desires rn to commit to anything, pet included, and i don't see that changing anytime soon. I don't even like committing to plans for the weekend. If i want to stay home, bum out in pajamas, and watch TV, i like knowing i can decide to do so. Being stuck in doors quarantined from everyone during peak COVID was not an issue for me. Guess I'm a loner by choice, social if i have to.
Then stay single 🙄 lol
@@khumba-hlakhumba-hladevelo342 I don't think you understand that was the whole point.
I think men must ask themselves if they want a wife or a partner because they are not the same thing.
Bing!! This is the point right here. Very well said. 😉👍🏾
But women are partners so....... what is the point here? We are here to originally help each other through life. Just choose a woman who understands that. Simple.
🏆🏆🏆 This right here is the real deal. Thank you Sir for your nuanced perspective! This comment needs to have 10000 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
They are the same depending on the context.
A wife is suppose to be a partner, just like a husband is suppose to a partner. What the problem here.
50-50 on bills and the housework and kids. Now we are officially roommates. I want my own bedroom.
I have always thought having your own bedroom was not a bad idea.
However, 50/50 does feels like a roomate situation.
So women should do more & men are just to be waited on nahhh
Exactly
🤣🤣🤣
@@sandracastillo3317 "feel like"??? it is.... and he expects intimacy. You cannot give a man intimacy and your body with 50/50. BW need to stop making decisions out of low self-esteem.
I think she should just say it. Don’t ask a woman to bring 50% of the income into the relationship and not expect her to want to lead 50% of the time.
Then women should not ask for equal pay.
I don’t know where you come from, but there’s no woman on earth who wouldn’t try to lead 50% of the time EVEN if shes not bringing in any money. Women by nature are not submissive, I don’t know why everyone in this comment section is acting like they are.
@@Tb-gz4qt It makes me think of men who wrongly assume that Eastern European and Filipina women are 'submissive.' I've NEVER met a submissive Eastern European or Filipina woman in my life LOL.
I have learned dealing with many females. That most women wants to feel safe. Meaning that she wants a man too, support her. So she can build up her nest up. So if the relationship ends she will have a bag saved. It’s like a 401(k) for relationships. But most of the time, I have seen women when they build up that 401(k) for relationship it end. She’s will lose respect for her man. Because she don’t need hes money anymore. As in guys, we all need to stop paying for everything and start do 50-50. because when the relationship. Ever guys are going to realize, they did everything for their females and have nothing left to show for it. Because you spend it all on her.
@Tb-gz4qt women are natural submissive which is why we are very attracted to dominant men. We are also selective by design which prevents us from submitting to a man until he has provided an environment for which it is safe to do so.
I’m just tired of these conversations in general 😩😩😩😩
Same
LIKEEEE,,,, HONESTLY!!!!
Facts. Like who cares 🤣🤣
Im with you one this one
Same, I'm so over it.
Modern men want traditional women without being traditional themselves. This is what my husband calls reverse feminism. So many brothers in this comment section upset that women want to be provided for so they can adequately look up to them and honor them. If you want 50/50 just know that she will see you as her equal. Men with wisdom understand this. It's clear single motherhood has not only effected women but it has effected men as well. Bc all they've ever seen was their mom working her ass off.
You are exactly right! The family imbalance physically and mentally is ruining our Community.
💣💯💣💯💣💯
If a man has to be traditional by providing and protecting then he should get a traditional woman in return. THAT'S CALLED A VIRGIN . If you are not one then adjust your requirements ladies
@@MR.DREAM333, if you think a virgin is all it takes, the man can look for a Virgin in peace and carry out his full duties of protection and providing.
@@Jenken297 ...a man should get what he pays for. If she is not a virgin then she must go 50/50. Wealthy men and pretty women are the only ones that have privilege . It's funny to me how average and below average looking women think they can demand ANYTHING
Mind set is key to any situation ! I have been married for 30 years. My husband have always taken care of his family. My husband had a massive heart attack in 2020. I am now the breadwinner. My husband is not able to work like he did previously. Now l do more. When you make vows before The Most High we are to uphold those vows until death do us part. I believe that 50/50 is the mindset of a carnal person. I and my husband work together. The Most High makes sure all of our needs are met. We give the Lord the Glory !! Amen 🙏
Exactly these idiots don't understand 50/50 speaks to the entire partnership or union as a while. Not different sub categories
She basically have the mindset that spells out of control attitude. Hold your head still lol
You're a sensible woman.
How old is your husband when he suffered a heart attack? The thing is I'm worried about how hard my husband works and we both work full time but he works longer hours and doesn't get much sleep
@@zraj3433 have you bought that concern to him? I know I would To my husband! If he could afford to work less hours or you guys have a strict budget so he’s not working himself to death
I'm glad my husband never brought figures into our marriage.
Spot on. Something happens in a woman’s mind when she has to bring half. I can’t explain it but it’s like you get into a different head space. She’s soo right
It’s called enabling your toxicity boo..
The father and mother must bring all their resources into raising the family. What the hell has happened to people? This is how kids end up failing to go to college because parents didnt work hard enough to save anything for them.
even if a wife works to buy groceries and stuff for her husband, herself and the kids she still has to do the cooking, cleaning, DISHES, Laundry, take care of the Kids and take care of her husband's needs and be in shape and be feminine put makeup fixed hair nice nails, feet that is exhausting everything takes TIME and EFFERT. No wonder ALOT of women would rather be single.
@@chulacanija You say that but ignore that in most marriages, the man is having to work extra hours so the woman can afford to get extra time at home to do all those things. I mean lets just be real for a second, would you rather be at work for an additional 16 hours each month or spend more time at home doing all those things you mentioned?
Coz if society didn't shame us, men would chose that any day.
@James E I see and yes we're all mad here j/k everyone is exhausted maybe that is why there's so many divorces nowadays days. And it doesn't help when there is no communication.
I do Not believe that a woman is supposed to be going 50/50 with her husband. We wear a lot of hats as women. We are the nurturers of the family, we are the nurse when the children and husband is sick, we go through the 10 month process of childbearing (the 1st four weeks we don’t even know we are pregnant) we are the ones who adds a woman’s touch to make a house a home, and lot of us work outside the home including myself, and we still make time to ensure everyone has clean clothes, in some cases we are Chef and find time to cook. Yes, some men cook too if they have time to, but most times the women take on that responsibility and we also have to keep up our appearance, make sure to try best to stay looking beautiful: hair and nails and try to stay physically healthy, be great lovers between the sheets and still EXPECTED go 50/50. That’s definitely a man trying to send you to an early grave ⚰️
1000 percent agree
@@ebonymiller3545 Okayyyy! Absolutely Nuts! They Grown Man/Children are not ready for a relationship, they are looking for a roommate they can have sex with! NOT happening over here 😅😅
@@nickysunshine8734 yess glad im single they not gon stress me out
I mean……😂😂😂 Men in general do more inna relationship then women. If ur in relationship where u feel ur doing everything either ur masculine, or the guy u picked is only on attractiveness and no other qualities. Protection isn’t 50/50, 100% the man or else we all die. Leadership isn’t 50/50 unless children are involved and even with that in mind decision making majority of time in a healthy relationship men have the final say. But for some reason every time I hear 50/50 it’s always related to money 🤦🏾♂️. Gotta stop putting this narrative out there. It’ll only lead to more singleness and bitterness for no reason.
@@ebonymiller3545 😂😂😂🤣🤣… Lol @ not going to stress you out! Well some do and some are not bad. I’m married, but my husband doesn’t NOT have the 50/50 mentality. So I’m good… have the most generous and caring husband.
This is a fair statement and women need to understand what is expected when a man is paying 100%. Nobody’s financing your life for non compliance, not even your employers.
Facts
A woman also doesn't wanted to be treated like a doormat because you're financing her life. Some men let their provider status go straight to their heads and become arrogant.
@@symonelewis1690
A woman isn’t a doormat for complying. She’s a supporter/submissive/subservient to the man and the family. Just as I let him take the lead and “let it go to his head”, I take the support and humbly be proud of it. Yes I make moves that help my husband save. Yes I homeschool and take care of my kids. It’s a worth deserving of pride- to be both a leader or a supporter. While I don’t agree with stating claiming “ownership” to women, upon the general rule isn’t a modern man that I know who thinks this way. Leadership is by setting the example, not being a tyrant. You have to know the man you choose to lay with, and sub out those minorities from your selection.
Edit: I changed supporter/subservience to supporter/submission/subservience
Choose what you see fit.
@@MomLifeModestWife 🎯🙏🏽
@@symonelewis1690 How much money anyone makes doesn’t give anyone the right to treat anyone like a doormat, man or woman. Btw some women act the same with finances, I’d say its a people thing. That being said BOTH men and women CHOOSE the people they want to be with and the QUALITIES that come with them which includes the way they treat you/finance your life. So if you have a problem with the way a man or woman is treating you, financing or NOT financing your life the power is in your hands to move forward rather than give that person any more of your time no? Otherwise once you choose a person you innately are choosing to comply with them both men and women. If you dont want to comply/cooperate stay single and take care of your own finances. I think we can all agree that neither men or women are entitled to anything even funerals cost money🤷♀️
Men, you can date 50/50 if you want, but be realistic and don’t expect her to be fit, feminine, and cooperative. Fit, feminine and submissive energy is what provider men receive, you can’t get it if you are 50/50.
what in the blue-pill simpery are you TALKING about?
no they dont ; they get " settled for" until the next chad/tyrone enters the playing-field.
not unless you're a house-hold-name-level rich and famous ; and even that isnt any type of guarantee.
So basically don’t ask for a women to take care of herself or be a good person unless you pay all the bills? Lmao y’all don’t even deserve that because you bring ntn to the table.
You think this woman is? She out the house chasing a bag more than you. If she has kids you paying for that
So why would being 50/50 affect her fitness? Or anything else? Those are commodities you purchase and not personality traits a woman already has or not?
Hhhhhhhhhhhhh sad but true I wouldn't expect someone to say it as crude as he did lollll by the way recently I dated someone who was my friend ex she was very ok me being with him since she left him and moved on .. I remember when he was with her he paid for everything and when I dated him he refused to pay any thing ..... The only explanation I had is that my friend was ten years younger and relatively fit while I had 10 kg overweight I don't put fake lashes I don't paint nails I rather focused on nurturing him and healing his wounds I didn't expect him to body Shame me for ten Kg overweight knowing that he's obese hahaha men are strange u only learn one thing ur net worth is depending on ur phisique so don't be nice to them yet don't be mean just be mindful with every tiny thing u bring to the table until u make sure that the guy is not a sort of homeless unicorn erring in utopia thinking that he can take women for granted....make sure he deserves before investing a tiny seed of feeling
This is a message that real men already understand. It’s the men with mommy and daddy issues, who need to learn. If you want a traditional woman, you must be a traditional man.
My father is traditional and my mother brings 50 and she is still very feminine with him. So she supposed to act masculine because she has a life too? Lmfao wtf
They can't choose
@@Xenlacasa45sorry to break it to you but your father is not traditional if your mother HAS to work
@@Tired92he's more than likely lying 😂
Y’all aren’t traditional. Most of y’all on the internet half naked and look up to rappers baby’s moms. Nobody wants to marry that
This is so true. Men don’t realize that being fifty fifty means fine I’ll be fifty with you but most women who make money also do most of the cooking, cleaning, errands, child rearing, etc. which is not fifty percent! They want a woman to do all the traditional things at the same time adding a modern twist that does not support the traditional things you want to see with your woman.
And women never touch mowing the yard, servicing the car, taking out the trash, killing spiders, lifting anything, putting anything together, opening jars....
@@DeadlyPlatypus 😆😆😆😆 killing spiders we see your job! Dearly
@@DeadlyPlatypus lol yikes. I don’t know anyone that’s so incompetent that they can’t put together some ikea furniture. You know they make grips to help open jars? They’re
@@chunli99 "Servicing the car is just going to have the car looked at."
Yikes...
Standard minimization of any male contribution by just claiming a woman can just pay ANOTHER man to do it for her...that's how women "do it themselves. "
@M I A You would have a point, if you weren't an idiot.
What jobs do men pay a bunch of women to do (women who aren't their wives) and then complain about their wives not doing?
If you say "cooking," congratulations, you played yourself. EVERYONE has to eat multiple times a day, vehicles get serviced every MULTIPLE months or MULTIPLE thousands of miles. So ANYONE can schedule their service in advance, meals are much more difficult. Not to mention, women ALSO pay other women to cook for them (mostly because women can't cook anymore), so that point would actually agree with me.
Cleaning? Funny, this whole post is about SHARING responsibilities, and men are saying women are falling down on the job...but women just claim that they can unilaterally dismiss men's complaints.
Sex? Cool, you're good with men getting prostitutes.
So, go on. Tell me ALL of the ways men constantly complain, JUST like women do, about women not doing THEIR fair share.
you going to have to cook these 50% of the food, 50% of the laundry. We are splitting everything 50 smh
Yup if not I can go do it alone it's not hard
50 percent of the time when the car gotta get done, yard work, defending the home, running to the store during storms n shit too
@@marc3030 why not?
@@Danielle.91 y not what?
they never do though. Its literally married womens BIGGEST complain with their husband.
L-O-L! Bring it on! It’s all fluff, absolutely no substance. If I’m in a relationship with a woman I want everything to be equal. I cook, I clean, I sew, I build, I raise, I invest, I nurture, I value. If a woman is willing to put just as much effort as me into a relationship, then there’s no reason for having this conversation to begin with.
This always sounds amazing except men cannot go half with the taxing process of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. However, I do respect that you do half of everything else, its minus the hypocrisy of most who believe the home is for the woman but still expect help with their area.
Good point. That's why my wife just buys groceries and stuff for the kids with her money cuz I got all the house stuff on lock.
👏🏿👏🏿 thiSss!!! His WIFE & NOT playing "house"!! 👏🏿👏🏿
Great husband right here ...
Are your kids not a part of your household?
We can do this!!!
Groceries are house stuff...
I remember when my ex and I broke up. I got a higher paying job doubling my salary. He wanted to get back together and I thought we could work it out. But he wouldn't stop asking me how much money I made. I never wanted to share that info because we weren't married or living together. He got mad cause I wouldn't share my salary info with him. He only wanted to know so he could get me to pay for more stuff. He rarely paid for anything and I never signed up to be the breadwinner. Some men want women to carry the load. It's a lot
That's Cap.
You signup to be the breadwinner when you make the money to support breadwinner lifestyles
@@edavis8560 so she is supposed to continue to live in poverty? lol
@@vonking9118 If you have to use "cap" for the term lie then you're not intelligent. Men do this all the time with nurses. It's called "nurse with a purse." Some of these travel nurses are pulling $8,000- $10,000 a WEEK and their partners are at home sitting down. Even staff nurses are making $40/hr as new staff nurse. Then you factor in the overtime and the differential pay for the weekends or working night shifts and your talking $65-$70/hr. I went on a date with a guy and I made the mistake of saying my income because he asked randomly but then his eyes bugged out of his head. Next date he made me pay for his food and my food. When the check came the guy serving us gave him the check then he looks at me and was like "hey bri the check" and he came up with a lame excuse of why he couldn't pay. I paid, but that was the last time we went on a date and I never saw him again and don't ever plan to lay my two eyeballs on him again.
Lies lies lies all lies stop the cap 🧢
The sister is absolutely right! A sister who brings “50 plus” to the table is a breadwinner, intelligent and can think for herself and now she’s to play the submissive wife, that makes absolutely no sense.
So your saying just because she bring 50% she don't have to be submissive, and still do wifey duties, then the man don't owe her protection, or anything else. If u women honestly think this way, get a cat and die alone, ur logic is stupid as fuck.
Plus wtf are we supposed to be submitting to like what are they leading I'm so confused on what's going on and what people are asking for like I could have swore relationship was about love and not control
If you’re paying 50% as a woman you don’t have to submit, just know why and what you’re in the relationship/roommate situation for get yours and do you
@@artaviusferguson4985Why even be in a relationship at all? I bet women cant even get turned on sexually by a man like that.
Yeah, they want an independent woman they can boss around????.....lol
If I’m paying bills, he’s not the man of the house. Were roommates.
If I’m paying all the bills, I’m the man of the house. He’s somewhere else. 😂😂😂
50/50 is a roommate or homie. I would never take a man seriously that’s looking for this type of dynamic
Equality?
Never! Coochie dry just thinking about it
You having sex w/ your roommate? You marrying your roommate? You think your roommate is dying for you? Fighting for you?
Also, in the court system in 2022, if the man pays for everything he also has to pay alimony. If bills are 50-50 he is less likely to pay alimony since both parties carried the bills.
So since you not giving up 50/50
Then what is the woman's role to become equal in a healthy relationships?
There's more to being a woman than having children& being a homme maker.
The way i hear it nowadays females feel that they are the prize and don't need to add/ bring anything to the table.
If we both make the same amount of money I’m not paying for everything
Men.. If you want a woman who happily splits the bills.. go find her… ladies if you want a man who pays 70% of bills.. go find him. I don’t think anyone is wrong. Not everyone is for everyone 🤷🏾♀️ we all have preferences.
Thank you!!! Get in where you fit in 🤷🏽♀️
Exactly!
Exactly! People doing way too much shaming, when they should just get with people they mesh with. I notice people who do that, are always single and miserable.
THANK YOU!!! I wish I could thumbs up this comment a hundred times!
Finally a good comment
Well said Sis! The restraint used in the wording, well done ❤!
The question remains, what does a man who brings 100-90% get from the deal? Your 'presence' is not the answer.
A free maid, chef, surrogate, therapist, sex partner and nanny. Things he could never afford if he had to actually pay different women to do. Basically he gets everything back and then some.
A good male friend that says 50-50 in a relationship is never going to work because it takes away from him being the head of the family.
You misunderstand 50-50 which is a basic concept.
Exactly
I do agree with you. However I do find it amusing that modern women strives for equality where it’s convenient and undermines it when it’s inconvenient.
@@atlanta1290 detail/elaborate? Although I get your meaning..I just wanna read your male perspective. 😁
@@justlynn5693 I believe the man is the head and leader of the household. Much of the responsibility falls on the man. We are called to provide a vision for the family as well as safety, shelter, nourishment etc. This is achieved in partnership with his wife however a man has to take responsibility for his family.
My comment about equality was a tongue in cheek remark about modern feminism and equality as it opposes stable family foundation.
This is one reason why modern day relationships don’t last. Both people are competing thinking as individuals instead of thinking as a team. This rhetoric is being pushed everyday but it’s getting relationships nowhere. Many don’t even make it past the honeymoon phase. Why do y’all insist on doing the same 💩that hasn’t worked?
What has worked? Lol. Nothing has worked. So new things are going to need to be tried.
Why is your understanding of this automatically “competing”? Do you really think women don’t have great idea and insights? My husband and I come together to make decisions and it works wonderfully. I have some experiences he doesn’t and Vice versa. So sometimes we agree my approach males more sense. Sometimes his does. How is this concept so foreign and automatically bring you notions of strife? 🤣. It’s working together eith someone. Very simple. Kids learn to do this in elementary school lol.
50/50(100/100)is teamwork....equal and fair teamwork....
@@dulaneygibson2014 You just wanted to say something didn’t ya? Nothing about your anecdotal response applies to anything I said.
@@HollyG95if I knew that I’d be a billionaire. Now you tell me what about what this women said was new?
Yes If I have to bring 50% your no longer wearing the pants probably some capris! But not pants! Because at that point I'm doing all my job AND half yours!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣Capris...great analogy!
Capris??!! Too funny!!
Capris 😂😂
NOT capris showing his ankles 🤣🤣Dang at least khakis
Do you now the system has designed it this way do men find to hard to get a job
But the woman can,
To break up the black home and you ppl.are falling for it.
There are men who are intimidated with 50+. I’ve experienced that and it created some tension in the relationship. Us women have to be extra careful to not to select a man who will feel insecure about it.
Not insecure but irritated by her attitude. Men who bring 100 % don't even treat women the way a woman who brings 50% will irritate a man.
She just made a point for us men.
When women are expected to carry their own weight in a relationship they become bitchy.
Using the word energy to cover up what we know as irritation is just face saving.
@@adolphus2002I don’t believe in using money to be bossy. If a woman acts like that, then she does not need to be with a man and vs versa. Relationships should be enjoyable. A person cannot enjoy a relationship with a bossy person.
@@adolphus2002I’m starting to think wmn truly look down on those who have less than them. So if their in a relationship, and they see they have more than somebody, they sometimes will choose negative feelings while men don’t care.
@@adolphus2002 because its nature for men to provide 100%, why would 50% give him an attitude? How do you expect a woman to be 50% masculine and not have an attitude? You want another man in your house. That's what you'll get, 2 bulls in a kraal.
Any man that says 50/50 to me is automatically a roommate. We ain’t doing no couple shit & you get no priority treatment
No men would want you except simps that's why you just have roommates
Marriage will always be 50/50. Even if he pays for the major bills the money you have left behind will still go back to him, in the form of saving for a mortgage, saving for kids tuition, saving for vacation etc...That is what is means to be a family. This is why originally, after a divorce, people split their assets 50/50..it was because they all made contributions.
If it's 50/50 money wise as a permanent arrangement, I will feel like I'm doing more. At least more than I should. Resentment will likely follow, eventually. Even if I earn half of what my husband earns, it's best he covers more of the bills, and more of my extra goes into savings or investments for the family, because of the money I'm also bringing in, in reality.
I will still see him as a provider, that way. I will feel taken care of by my husband, if it is configured that way.
Even though we 'earn the same amount'.
I can't really respect a man who is okay or comfortable seeing me carrying the same burden as him.
Rightly or wrongly, that's how I feel.
And no sx.
Be careful some guys will accept that and just go find sex some place else most guys don’t want to do the couple shit and holiday extras just sex
I’m so glad to hear someone else say this….thank you. It makes absolutely no sense for a man to want an alpha female, then try to turn her into a submissive
The fact that you have to have this conversation says leave them right where they are they will figure it out sooner or later . TF!
Indeed.
🤨 Everybody is tough and knows a lot on the internet. 🤣🤣
So basically the MORE A Woman pays for things, the MORE Probleems she'll create bcuz she feels U aint doing enough
People no longer understand the value of family, the benefits extended to its members, and the kind of sacrifice it takes to maintain one.
Yes. So lost. And it's so sad. Cuz of garbage like this.
Women are making money now. The world has changed
@Kimberly Taylor no disrespect, but please stop thinking that everybody just wants what's best for you. Divide and conquer is a VERY real strategy. The most organic form of security that every person on earth has is Family. It's the best safety net in the world. Once that safety net is destroyed, and everyone is cast upon their own resources with no one to help if things go left; the only one who wins is the one who makes the rules.
It's not about people having money. It's about power. Let's stop listening to false narratives, reestablish our families, and bring power back to our communities.
Well said...
And people don‘t understand love and companionship anymore, there is too much calculacting and underhanded tactics going on.
When you're married, it IS a team effort. There is no 50%. It's always 100% from both people. I feel sometimes we forget that!
Now there are some exceptions to that 100% from each person. If there's a major surgery, maybe death in the family, or some life changing event, then you must pick up the slack from the other person. Therefore it needs to be a team effort.
She’s talking about provision/protection and their natural effects on both feminine and masculine energy/nature.
Big facts, and I really appreciate the fact you said TEAM EFFORT, that’s the major key
💣💣💣
Exactly 💯
Darnell know darn well he want his woman to cook, clean and take care of the babies majority of the time
My husband was not down with that 50/50 thing from the beginning. But he knew it was the thing I needed in the beginning to feel safe. Once I saw he was a safe person for me to trust, I no longer did the 50/50, and it enabled me to also trust him enough to reproduce with him and let him handle all of the bills while I was so vulnerable.
It's OK to go Dutch in the beginning. In fact men prefer it as well to avoid getting scammed by Free meal ticket 304s.
Once the guy knows that the girl is safe to be around and not scamming him then they can enter their masculine and provide.
Well said I like ur reasoning
A man who expects a woman to pay half the bills, is not ready for a serious relationship.
With women demanding equal pay in the workforce and getting it they are expected to pay their half.
I was raised by a family that worked together, my mother wasn't a scrounge. They've been together 40 years. My mum earned more. They pool there money together and it's both of therew. No arguments.
If I want to pay money for a woman to be in my life, I'll go see a whore
Some girlfriends are worthless drains
And a woman who is trying to con 100 percent on all money and all of a men's is nothing but a gold-digger. 😒😎
If women want to enter the workforce and demand equal pay (thanks to equality BS and feminism)then it is logical that they deal with the consequences
Preach you literally get what you pay for❤They want a hybrid situation they want her income but still want to run everything and tell her what to do and make all the decisions including finances and have her care for the kids and home 99% of the time
Preach!!!
That's because so many women currently are doing it just to have a man, and you can't tell the women doing it any different 🤷
So men are paying MORE to end up with a broke girl who will just leach off him. So you're saying that marrying a bum is the best value? LOL girl, tell me you're broke without telling me you're broke.
@@skinnyguy7773 That’s what you got out of my comment 🙃
A couple of things
In no way am I being condescending
I will explain it better since you missed the point in its entirety. I often hear men say things such as “my grandmother cooked cleaned and took care of the kids I want traditional”.
So I ask them well did your grandmother work they always say no. Then I ask well the way this economy is set up are you able to provide for the family while the woman stays at home most say no.
My parents were married until my dad passed my mother didn’t work outside of the home other than getting a few dollars at a department store around the holidays for gifts. She did all the cooking all the cleaning and helped us with homework etc. BUT SHE DID NOT WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME
My dad worked he never had to come home cook or anything because she took care of that as it should be.
Sadly I know women who will work just like the man sometimes making more money who literally drive themselves into the grave early because they work and come home and do EVERYTHING driving kids to activities ALL the cooking all the cleaning.
They let themselves go they lack sleep they gain weight too exhausted for frequent sex and they work themselves to sickness while the man who works just like them sits back and relaxes and doesn’t do much some of these men won’t even cut grass they pay someone or worse some women do it.
So when I say hybrid situation that’s what that is. So basically a hybrid situation is a situation where most men can’t afford traditional but demand traditional by having the woman do everything traditionally
instead of ONLY taking care of the home and family AS her only job
she STILL works a full time job outside the home.
Hats off to women who don’t take care of themselves, I plan to be here for my grandkids not dying early because of slave labor. If she takes care of them home and kids pretty much 100 percent and doesn’t not work that’s fine and ideal
But if she does ALL of that while a man is there and she works just like he does she is being used. He will contribute helping with kids and cleaning I have no problem cooking all the meals but there is no way in hell I would work FULL TIME LIKE HIM AND COME AND DO EVERYTHING
What you just described sounds like a pimp where I'm from lol
If I got to pay 50%, fine, then I want my own bedroom.
That’s fine
Exactly
Why not just stay single and pay 100% instead of doing all that?
😂
@@tsizzle6228 ikr dumb shit
This money shit is excuse ls for certain behavior to be tolerated. Instead of people just being who they are. With accepting that you might be single, because of who you are, and what you like. Money just enhance who you are. It enhances what already in you.
I have said it forever,money doesn’t change people just further adds to what was already there.
Exactly! Money shouldn't be the deciding factor on if you can be a trash person or not.
Money enhance what is already inside of a person how please explain?
@@b.e.r.nnetwork8251 money has made some people worse
@@jchapful Simple most men like multiple women correct? A man who has options, but don’t have the Money typically can’t maintain it. So when you got 🍞 it enhances what’s already there. You got money now that man has 2 or 3 women, and is like this is what is or move around.
Then carry 100% of the couch solo
Sistas please just Divest lol I promise you, they don’t have those “50/50” “Struggle love, ride or die” convos over here. (Unless they’re dusty identified) My husband of 3 years, is Italian-Caprese & Sicilian and the way he’s exemplified what true Manhood & Leadership is, is Ineffable! In his culture, it’s an insult, for a man to financially survive off of a woman. There is no honor, for an adult
male, who can’t or won’t provide, for his family.
I adore, respect & revere him, like the king of all Kings & he lays every glorious wonder, of this world, at my feet 🤎🤎 Tesoro mio!
That's funny because alot of white women work. If you think the majority of white women married or in a relationship, are sitting at home, and living lavish then you are delusional 🤣🤣🤣. I live in socal, and just about everyone white couple i know, who are living in lavish live in a dual income household.
Sista
Dude is lost. Men are to lead, but bringing what to your feet? 🤣🤣🤣
Serious question: were you childless when you married him? Many BW can't "divest" with another man's children in tow. We have to be honest that it's cultural and not racial.
🤦🏽♂️ Don’t come selling these women false illusions like “just divest”. Just bc one outcasted Italian couldn’t get a woman of his own race and decided to dive through the dumpsters of the black community and found you in the gutter.. doesn’t mean that every black woman would be so fortunate. Black women have the highest obesity rates and are known as the poster child’s for bad attitudes and combativeness, that’s why no man of ANY race is checking for yall. You’re setting your sistas up for failure. Bw can get smashed and passed around by European men at best.
And stop talking about divesting like it’s some brand new strategy, bw been gagging on pink sausage since Loving Vs Brown, but only .00001% of y’all will actually marry a snow king. You will always be considered the most unattractive to men of other races. The only thing is that now even black men are realizing that we can’t continue to set our standards this low, with a passport we can get a non western black woman who isn’t built like Lizzo and doesn’t wear red weaves and bonnets in public. Pasa buena ✌🏾
The partners have to really analyze their situation. Before my late husband died he worked so I could stay home with the kids. We ended up starting a business. When this happened I was still at home with kids, household chores, running the back office, setting up the business on the back end, being the customer service rep, and still going on jobs with him and did physical labor. At that point I thought it would become 50/50 and he would help me out around the house or at least with the kids, dinner something. But I still ended up having to do it on my own. Men need to be upfront with what they really want from that woman. But the biggest aspect is knowing they can't have their cake and eat it too.
The best relationship I ever had was when my ex used to pay and take care of all the bills. I never saw one bill. I rarely asked him for extra money to do this or that. I made sure the house was clean, food was cooked, and his clothes laid out/ironed. I truly appreciated everything he did for me, even til this day. I get what she's saying though because I've definitely had to bring more than 50 percent.
Well your relationship ended so something happen
@@Jane5720 sounds like it was her
Fault if she’s bragging about the relationship 😂
@@jericothompson8636 yeah I chose my daughter over a man.. so it was my fault to end it. 😒
@@Jane5720 yes, he didn't want children and I had a daughter... so obviously I was going to choose my daughter over a man. He thought I was like other women that would leave her kid with her parents all the time and I didn't. If I wasn't working then my daughter was with me.
Either way I learned from it all, and I appreciate him regardless of it ending. I've moved on and he moved on. I'm married now.
Children & pets are taken care of. Grown women get exactly what they give or get nothing. STAY SAVAGE FELLAS😂😂😂😂😂
Facts! If she’s equal, she’s equal. You clean up, you plan a trip, you pick up the kids. Equal! I don’t need a leader. I need a partner.
I’m coming with a 100 and vice versa! Her 100 would be her being a helpmate and Not a roommate!!
I was looking for this comment. I'm whole on my own. I'm not marrying anyone that's not whole either. So when we come together we can bring 100/100 and our cup runneth over. That's why God said 1 shall put 1,000 to flight but two shall put 10,000 to flight. That's 100 * 100. 50/50 is to ensure neither of you'd tank is full.
Finally a real man comment! Was looking for this! They still exist! It's important to bring 100! People seem like they are only for self an nit for their significant other. A helpmate will give what is needed and desired, not just a financial bringing. Because where is the support, nurture, softness, strength (on a feminine level). I'm not into being a roommate, but a wife, and that includes doing it all if he gets hurt, and vice versa if I give birth, or get hurt. Working together like a well oiled Machine. Our melanated people are always for self. But ants prove the power of togetherness, but our people focus on ant power, but would rather want, and do for self.
Y’all sound crazy I’m confused on what she bringing to the table I ain’t the only one making these bills I can live alone for that
@@thelifeofdclay5815 Please, do.
@@thelifeofdclay5815 do us a favor, and please stay alone. You would want that woman to cook, clean, nourish and nurture you, take care of your kids, and pay 1/2 the bills...but what about her in return. If she doing most of it,, what does she need you for? Because you won't protect her, she can pay someone to do that. There is power in a man's responsibility to protect and provide. If she is doing that, what are you doing again, besides laying pipe? 🤔 It's not a bad thing if you do it together, however a man is emasculated if the woman makes more. Invest with y'all's money that she brings in, start a business with the money she brings in. But the mindset you provide at this moment...stay to yourself brother. NO disrespect.
So true..... , I had one of those 50/50 men and I never respect him. He proposed and I said No.
Why, what was the reason?
🎊
Why did you stay with him long enough for him to propose? Losing respect for someone should equate to ending the relationship...
yet he got to fk on you for a period of time. yall tell on yourselves. that comment wasnt empowering or a flex.😂
Are you married now?
50/50 is the same as a prenuptial agreement.. if they want what’s urs then it’s not even about love
Facts. Now this is not a contest but Once I started making more than my husband, he made it his mission to go out and make more than me. I asked him why and he said because there cannot be 2 head of the household. When I thought about it I was like I know that’s right. 😂
It’s disgusting that you’re agreeing that just because you make more, that would make you head of household. Put your dick away and let him be the man. You women are weird
@@hospitaladministrator3359 Before I put it away… get on your knees bih. 😂 Plus… my husband agrees. I actually get to rest in all my femininity. 🧖🏾♀️💅🏾💆🏾♀️ 🧚🏾♂️ Don’t be mad. 🤭
@@user-wn2es2ie8g Life is unexpected.
You don't necessarily have to make more money to be the "head". It's really predicated on who is the more powerful sex with is almost always the man.
You have a good man. He wants to provide and not mooch off of you or become your project.
I’m that woman who brings 80-100% and remain a lady holding my own. That means I can have it all with you or without you while maintaining it all if you decide to leave. Pick your poison sir. 💁🏽♀️
Right
I honestly don't gaf what my spouse makes. I make enough on my own to support myself and then some and have for a long time and continue to. Always put money aside as well.
The dumb thing is, people acting like money makes you more important in a relationship. I see it as household income "WE" make together despite being a breadwinner or not.
Percentage is dumb anyhow in this case as if I make 100k and she makes 500k it's not like either person is gonna be hurting in life. I find you only need so much in life to live by and I always live well below my means. Relationships are way more than money folks.
It doesnt matter..whether women are paying 50 or 100 they want to control the situation regardless.
Most MEN that I know don’t care about a woman finance and I go into a relationship with the 100% mentally anything she brings to the table is bonus
That’s because those are real men you know.
Lol, what state or country are they in? They’re definitely not up here in this region of the United States (NY, CT, NJ, etc)…
Yeah ok look who's complaining these are the same one's broke looking for a come up, I don't care how much a woman makes but how much do you owe, most of these broads got huge student loan debt (and Biden ain't going to forgive these loans, thanks to the supreme court) and other debt, you would be a fool to marry someone and don't care what their financial situation is and their spending habits are, that's simp move and then you gon be in jail due to domestic disputes over finances and then she gon take half lol.
You just stated a fact, I have never in my entire life heard or seen a man asking for 50/50 in terms of finance, most men would prefer a supportive woman that can support in her own little way, maybe this picture she is painted is in the USA.
👏👏👏
I understand what she is saying, me splitting everything down the middle makes us equal like roomates because I'm putting in just as much so you wont get the same reverence as being the head or leader of the family. Then there are guys that expect the woman to contribute half but still be responsible for all the cooking, cleaning, and washing...no, that would need to be split as well
It seems based on these comments that women just want to live off men. Live for free and let the man work and spend all his money on them (bills dates trips gifts) and they keep their money. And base "the table " as being being pretty and sex. That's simply not enough. There are too many women that are pretty and giving sex.
@@Mr1Musiclover If a woman wants that then they wouldn't even go half. There are women that desire and want sugar daddies and to each iits own but if you want a roomate then that's what you will get if you expect a women to split bills down the middle. Most women are not going to serve you and put you on a pedestal like a king...plus, if I'm splitting bills the household chores will be split as well. My husband and I have been together for 27 years, married for 20 and he has never asked me to help pay the mortgage. He keeps a roof over our head as a man is required to do Biblically and I pay the bills, but to each its own.
Some people, practice slavery and endenturement. And some do not.
Lady 50 50 is more than just bills 🤦🏾♂️. that example you gave would be like 70 30
@@LKS-M9323 exactly, if you want 50/50 you want a roomate and not a wife. Men can get a woman that will settle for 50/50 but she's not going to cater to you and put you on a pedestal like a king. A woman should feel like she needs her man and a guy going in 50/50, is replaceable...my sister can move in and go half with me if we ever seperate. You do know that women have only been allowed to work in this country for about the last century (100 years) so prior to that everything was on the man, many countries still don't allow women to work but even the Bible says a man is to provide and shelter his family spiritually and physically. A man had to pay an endowment and bring the woman's family gifts of gold, silver, live stock and other precious things to show he had the ability to take care of her. That's why the father walks her down the aisle and gives her away. He said I have raised, provided for, and protected my daughter and she has carried my last name...I am now handing her over to you to do the same. You will now provide for, protect, and cover her and she will carry your last name. It's a partership and the woman contributes in many other ways than just finacially. My husband says the men at work get jelous of him because while they eat out for lunch and he unpacking pot roast, collards, mac and cheese, and cornbread. Also, I don't mind making him salmon croquettes, grits and eggs before he leaves but if we were going half he could grab a frozen breakfast sandwhich to heat on the way out. It's not the same level of reverance. We've made woman enpowerment, liberation, or being equal to men the norm and that's why the black family and our kids are messed up. I do work but I don't have to stress myself to bring in a salary equal to his because my load is lighter. So far it's worked for us 27 years and his parents were married 35 years before his father passed away. What we are doing now ain't working and the black family is suffering.
A key component of this concept is the "ask". A man making a woman brining 50% out the gate no matter what is going to evoke a different response than "I want to give you the world and I'm doing my best but for now we have to work together to make ends meet. " One sounds and feels to the woman that you are not that into her, don't REALLY care about her and are not willing to make any sacrifice. This will produce a woman thT will struggle to relax, and fully trust you. In short it matters WHY you're asking a woman to pay half..
The why (at least for me) is simple…… I just want to know that you’re as equally invested in this as i am. I’m just trying to make sure that I’m not being manipulated and/or used. I’m actually not a person who cares about what a female has on a monetary level, but when it becomes a STIPULATION/OBLIGATION that i finance this relationship…… Houston we have a problem
@Anthony Greer I sincerely understand your logic. But men and women show their commitment and investment differently. Have you considered that requiring that a woman show investment the way a man would is putting her in her masculine energy and thus sabotaging what could be a solid relationship?
The point is relationships are a risk men and women do their best to mitigate risk through vetting not insulating themselves with requirements they dont trruly care about, now you're not being yourself either...game players get played. I truly hope you rethink this strategy all the best to you and feel free to share your thoughts!
@Nairobi Zebdi so please enlighten us how women show their commitment and investment.
@@TheDatingGame I want to know as well
@@reneebrown4610 They’ll never outright say it, they’ll just beat around the bush & try to shame you into thinking that you’re the one that’s outta pocket by wanting to know that your time isn’t being wasted & what you’ll get for your investment
Why wouldn’t it bring the “partnership” energy that they always say they want?
Exactly! BINGO! don’t ask for a 50/50 partner but you don’t want the 50/50 ideas, opinions, decisions, problem solving, direction, and etc. she comes with a mind of her own!
If you want that woman your granddad had, you have to be the type of provider leader and visionary your granddad was!!!!
I genuinely agree with this comment. But I (along with a relatively large group of men out there) don't want those old school women anymore because we don't even plan on having kids or getting married. We just want a chill roommate who pays for half the bills and lets us smash .
@@SENFU-y9y😢
Your grandad wasn’t a visionary. Idk why y’all think this shit is hard bro. Your just weird as hell. If you don’t have kids then this role shit won’t work, it would only work if y’all have kids. If y’all don’t then stfu about “affording” because 9x/10 women can’t afford men if we using the same terms.
but that's okay though.
Split checks, both work, both do the household and raise the child.
Like I'm sorry but I grew up not knowing a lot of kids that came from a wealthy background, had their first car at 18, or attended private uni etc that came from families where only one parent worked. Which frankly is unsurprising, 2 people bring more money home than 1.
Most rich kids I know had 2 working parents. Most poor kids I know come from families which employ a "M = provider, W = caregiver" concept, happening predominantly in migrant families.
lol imagine thinking any of you woman hold a candle to that generation of woman, you showing you dont by even suggesting all they were after was money they wanted a family, most modern woman in the west get flogged out until mid 30s then wanna settle down, most of our grandmas were a one man lady and married young
Very true and well said. The expectation men have for a woman to be and maintain being feminine while expecting her to pay 50% is counterproductive. That is what creates competition. Its essentially saying share my role (that is designed by nature) as a man to provide. Maintaining a valuable and healthy womanhood takes more time, money, and energy than the maintenance of manhood. Having to provide automatically puts a woman in masculine energy.
@@jwoods9659 Do just that. Valuable women are not interested and are staying away and single from guys like you. A “real” man is what a valuable woman wants. Dusty 50/50 feminized men are not the prize or in our radar. Thank you for recognizing that it’s best you keep your income and stay in your lane.
@@sade9425 because I don't find giving every single dime I make to you. And God forbid I get sick I can't work any longer you lady's will be gone poof the next day. My mother stood with my step father while he went through cancer I won't hold my breath that I will find a woman that will do the same for me. Men are more than open wallets.
Women producing children are already bring more than 50 percent - the men cannot provide anything of equal value.
@@Lafemmefutile true about the giving birth. Real good men do provide a lot of value though.
No I just have enough sence to know the divorce is planned out before the wedding.
One guy that wanted to date/marry me told my Mother he wanted a 50-50 relationship. My Mother told him my Daughter know nothing about 50-50 relationships. She said, "her Father pays all the bills in this house. My Mother brings in all the extras, she worked part time on Saturday's only." My Mother and I took care of the home inside my my Brother took care of the outside lawn care, window washing, snow removal. They were partners who work together. My Mother started her own traveling agency and my Father travel with my Mother for free around the world. I said all that to say, I didn't marry the guy that wanted the 50-50 relationship. But what I learned from that conversation was the difference in being brought up in a home with a Mother and Father who both contributed to the home and family and those who grow up in single family home, ( which he did with 7 Sisters and Brothers) their perspectives on relationship may be different then yours based on experiences!
In many European homes with both parents everything goes 50/50! It’s insane for me to believe that a man must be financially accountable for 100% of the bills. Completely insane
@@XRTSDFA Why, when men made the majority of money compared to women and still do!
You’ll be single for life with that attitude.
@@XRTSDFA these black womne think all married white women are stay at home wives with Nannie’s and shop all day
If its 50/50 on bills,then he does his own laundry,meals,dishes, cleaning,etc. cant have it both ways. I can go half with a roommate that i don't have to skrew! Dang be a man or a mouse.
If I’m paying 50% let’s just call ourselves roommates because that’s what we are
This sounds like a relationship devoid of love/affection. Successful long term relationships spanning 15/20+ years (with kids or without) all have the couple working as a couple. Mind you these are just people I know - at least like 12 couples. And they’re all black from mostly Caribbean backgrounds. Truth is long term relationships require investment by both people in tangible and intangible ways. A nice gift twice a year honestly means VERY little to a man. Build with him and that’s a whole different (wifey) level.
I responded to this because this comment I’ve seen before and I really think I’m missing something behind the logic of not wanting to contribute financially to a relationship - assuming the man is industrious and forward moving
By that same basic logic, if he’s the one paying just call yourself a prostitute..
How many relationship channels have happily married people on them to discuss what successful, productive, happy marriages look like?
Amen!
Hello!!!! That must be too much like right!
There are several; I always see their new videos pop up.
I also have a good deal of happy marriages around me. It’s such a blessing.
@@WriteTheVisionAndMakeItPlain Hello Minimah, what are the channel names? I'm so sick of this popping up in my recommendations. I prefer to see black married couples.
Men need to understand what it means to be a man. Do you want a wife or a roommate? I love how my husband does not care to tell me what to bring in the household. He told me when he met me "I will work hard to provide for you cause I don't want you to go out here working hard or long hours like a man. I want you to keep your femininity but you can definitely feel free to get a job or start your own career if you wish to." This is the reason why we have raised our children in a healthy manner where we don't dump them on people for daycare. I love teaching my children and keeping them safe from this weird world we live in. I thank you God for my marriage and for my phenomenal husband ♥️🙏. I couldn't be in a relationship with a man with such expectations. This will cause such an imbalance and I can't afford to show my children the disassociation in our society on what a man and a woman have become with these expectations rather than creating perfect balance with understanding. Now if I am a successful CEO then I don't mind bringing in 200% but I'm still going to be the wife and mom I need to be for my children and husband.
And some would say thats how he keeps you in line. Making you think it's for your comfort when really it's for his. Lol keep keepin on with that. Lol
@@nayjavu You have a mind that is set on control. It shows in your thought process. What makes you think that's everyone's intention. You are incapable of a healthy love life. Again my opinion is mine and you are entitled to yours.
@@daisyogoli It’s a shame how out of tune with reality people have become. You have a MAN
a man to love, provide, and protect. And the above comment said “he’s keeping you in line” 🤦🏾♀️ why oh why are we so lost. This generation is confused, so seeing an example of a healthy, masculine, providing, protective man is a shocker ! I can’t with people🤦🏾♀️ I really can’t
you need 50 50 period. If he gets hurt sick or Dies , you should be able to keep yall head above water and vise versa. Smfh sad how some of yall females don't understand the basic concept of 50 50
Once you have a husband these conversations are not for you, because your single dating life stopped, and you are not searching, so you can't assist because you don't know personally what is on the market
The problem is in these conversations we’ve turned life love and relationships into a paycheck. We live in a society where inflation is crazy. I’ll make enough money to pay all of my family’s bills and I told my wife to work and continue to build her career because you never know what may happen next And the day may come where she makes more money than I do that has nothing to do with leadership in my house. A lot of women are holding men hostage to a paycheck and if you’re going to do that, just go find a man that is rich and you won’t have to worry about that. If you have a man in your life that you don’t respect, then you don’t need to be with him but let’s stop making this about a paycheck.
Even if she makes more money that's okay! But it's about not EXPECTING that. Not expecting her to pay
Sir, you do know that the way you presented it is not bad. Obviously, there is inflation, but the people she is talking about are men who do not lead but want 50/50 and to lead with no plan.
You sound like you are a man with a plan. There are also people who just put her money to work in other areas but focus on living on one income to ensure the pressure remains lower.
Anyhow, I don’t believe her message is for you. I think you get a pass.
@@Regina.Clarke I think my issue is times have changed and women want to choose between what’s convenient for them in a given situation. No woman really wants to be dominated anymore like the 60s and women have fought for equal rights and empowerment rightly so. So I don’t think that this should be a conversation because women have the same earning power as men do but I think women have to be selective and be with men that understand who they are what they want and they’re able to lead without dictating. Because we’re living in the day where women don’t want to be dictated to leadership with understanding and empathy and not dictatorship. 50-50 does not make you a roommate. It makes you partners building a legacy for the future. It’s just all about how you view it and how it’s set up in your home.
Any man paying for everything will expect to be judge and jury of that household. Neither side really wants what comes with that. This entire 50/50 conversation is dumb.
Men aren’t trying to pay for everything. And women aren’t trying to shut up and let him make all the decisions. Split the bills. Split the chores. And call it a damned day.
I agree with u. But why u say the 50/50 convo is dumb if u saying u agree with it?
@@HollyG95 Arguing about it is dumb. In our current society with modern social trends and economic trends it makes no sense. It's like arguing over rotary home phones vs push button home phones. Its an argument no longer applies to the reality on the ground. At least for the vast majority of men and women.
@@bluewave3417 agreed. Well said.
I agree but the thing is, men do not want to cook and clean. What they want is a woman who will do 50/50 only on bills but maintain femininity by cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children as well which is insane. But then while bringing only 50% financially, they want to get treated as a man who brings 100%. It's quite silly.
On the flip side women ask for a man who brings 100% but don't realize it means it you have to kiss the ground he walks on. I do believe the man that pays 100% is the necessary evil because the man who pays only 50% is so bad that it forces her to accept the cruel nature of the 100% man. Women value how responsible and competent a man is over treatment and freedom. Asking a women to pay 50% is like admitting you're incompetent. The attitude from that woman will come out uncontrollably. That is what the woman in this video was warning 50% men about.
@@-glitch-8195 Incompetent to who? A grown man taking care of himself has already proven himself to be a competent adult. He doesn't need a woman's stamp of approval. A man can have a girlfriend with all of the benefits while still living alone and paying his own bills. If he is going to give both solitude and money to take care of a full grown adult, best believe he's giving orders and not taking them.
Relationships and sex can be had without moving a woman in. If she has an attitude because you won't literally fund her lifestyle that's his cue to move on.
This is true! Don’t expect “half”…AND submission…respect as the “leader”, etc! THAT is the problem I have with men marrying women who “pay” for everything! Now YOU, “man”, are her CHILD…NOT her MAN! 😢
So if a man pays you are the child? If you make enough money you should pay half or the fair share. But you still have to submit to your man. Otherwise dont get in a relationship if you dont feel like submitting to that man. Get a girlfriend then, baby. You can be the butch dominant alfa female. Have fun.....
I'm whole on my own. I'm not marrying anyone that's not whole either. So when we come together we can bring 100/100 and our cup runneth over. That's why God said 1 shall put 1,000 to flight but two shall put 10,000 to flight. That's 100 * 100. 50/50 is to ensure neither of you's tank is full. I find this conversation to be prevalent with people who are coming with lack mentality in their singlehood. No, stay single until you're whole. Elevate so that you can only find your partner on that level above. When you're both 100, there's more than enough to go around and to spill over. 50/50 is struggle love. Singles equipped with ALL the skills necessary to run a home (emotional, physical, mental, financial and spiritual) stay in a constant flow of pouring into each other. There's no shortage. If you need help for mundane tasks, you can afford to hire help. If you need your partner to stand in for you, you trust their prowess. Don't settle. Find someone who's growing and elevating.
Hunnay, this is just bills they're talking not 50% commitment or effort. It's about splitting bills...don't try to make it sound deeper or complicated.
@@Yabadabadoo29 Right LoL talk about deflecting he tried though 😂
💕
@@Yabadabadoo29 🤣🤣🤣 kumbaya bs right here lol. 50.50 on bills that's it. If I was independent in my own house then you remove from my house to yours then I still have to pay the same amount of money I was paying alone .... ummm so does he think he's the only one who wanna save some coins???? Plus throw in some kids and suddenly 50.50 doesn't work for him. Even changing a diaper he can't lol.
@@Yabadabadoo29 I'm sorry you're into struggle love. Will you do 50/50 on household chores or capital purchases? Outings and errands too? How about raising the kids? Lol. 50/50 my ass. If you think marriage is not complex or deep, please stay single. It's for those who cherish the simplicity of life.
The cost of living is high. I need 50%. 100% means he might think he owns me.
Exactly if that’s what women want then think twice. I’m definitely not asking for 50 but it depends how much each person earns for one. In my last marriage I was making triple what she made. I didn’t even ask for help. I paid 95/5. That 5 was groceries. Just because I didn’t have time. Also we had a joint account and she took whatever she needed anyway. But you might as well not work with that attitude or do you want to be more of an empowered educated woman with a career. If you’re a career woman you’re making 50k and up right. You get to pocket all that money? Damn now is that my money as well if you’re saving it when shit hits the fan it’s yours and you’re out?
I pay all the bills: do your feminine duties, no questions asked
You pay 50%: ima be doin some dishes and laundry 😂😂😂
I love your logic lol 😂
And most women are fine with this
& cleaning the mf'n bathroom partna🥴
@charmeika14 I take the toilet and the sink.. since the toilet nasty af you get the rest 🤝🏾
@@queenprincess4life I don’t know your experiences but men are on average more logical than women. So we can conclude most men would agree with this logic
We’ll said that’s what 50/50 damn near roommate status . Head to head
I’m not the head and my girl is not the neck we are both the whole body and mind, we both contribute in every aspect. This line of thought is so immature and just shows why people have bad relationships and have no communication. We cook together , we clean together, we budget together because that’s what a relationship is…being together, working together 100/100. All and everything she does is beautiful to me, even snoring her brains out when I got to be up at 6am 😂
True, both have to give 100%. Not just finances
100/100 sounds about right, however there may be some caveats from time to time, and that’s okay. Who wants 50% of anything or anyone? It’s trash talk and makes no sense. Just thoughtless rhetoric parroted over and over again. In relationships, the parties involved are to step up accordingly. It’s a union, and if the 2 parties are invested, naturally they’re going to put in the work, picking up where the other leaves off or may slack, or may not be capable of doing.
@@d.shidon I agree with you whole heartedly. It gets depressing when people try to trivialize it or pretend we’re not all humans in this world learning to work together. I think to many people just have bad relationships and tend to blame the other side. They aren’t realizing if they looked at it without bias that bad relationships really stem from immaturity and lack of communication. Nothing can be perfect but those things help immensely.
Thank You, basic common sense. Too many women these days want Traditional Roles but don't want to be told what/how to do bcus it's "misogyny".
If you both have to work then you both have to work. It is what it is but chores still need to be done regardless. You were doing when you were single so what's the problem now. This isn't a thing you can cherry pick at, do the work that needs to be done Together and move forward
Honestly! I’d love to help budget with my husband and cook with him and clean with him. The problem is that so many issues pop up due to lack of communication within couples
Finally! A black woman admits that men “get what they pay for!” It’s ALL about them dollars fellas!!!
So basically, they admit to be prostitutes, got it! 😂
Y’all prostitutes.
Man, she spoke a word on today!
Yeah ... Before I made less than my husband and when he would say, "We don't have the money for that." Then I instantly just dropped it, no big deal, we don't have the money for it.
But now we make the same amount, I pay half the bills, AND I do the majority of the housework...
If he says, "We don't have the money for that." I'm just like, "Yes we do." Instantly. I'm buying that thing that I want.
Trying to prepare for the future and you wanna spenddd
Basically he's saying it's a frivolous spend...it's not needed.
Huh?
@@catrinafarr3402 I understand, but the point is that we make the same, we're each paying for the same amount of bills, but I am still doing more housework for some reason... So, my opinion should hold equal weight, if not more weight than his.
It's like in the RUclips short here, she said to always pay more than 50% of the bills, or else your woman will have head energy... I'm agreeing with that. I have an attitude about my money... Where I didn't before.
@@speedyllama8380 as you should. You can't not be getting the things you want when you have the money. 🤷♀️
Chics are gonna be who they are regardless
If you would have slap that b**** in your mouth you would have got a whole different
Sounds like deflection
Just like men.
@@ChyneiceSoYounique she can bring all the neck and head energy she wants, but it's just like Mike Tyson said you can have a plan until you get knocked in the mouth 🙄
@@alpoyao9758 You need to be in jail. You sound like the next Jeffery Dahamer. You think thats cute what you just said. The only girls that stay with you are the ones who have low self-esteem. I wish a man would lay his hand on me because he thinks I have "attitude" That will be the day you wish you were never born. I wouldn't lay my hand on you I would make sure that the law prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law then make sure you get fired from your job.
The best thing about feminism is that it freed men from the historical and cultural obligation to protect and provide for women at the expense of their own happiness and wellbeing. Amen 🙏🏻
Except it didn't.
That's what you think
@@sakibfuseini891yes it is what I think. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have written it.
America really overestimate how much income the avg American has. MOST PPL IN THIS COUNTRY HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY TO SURVIVE. Most ppl *roughly 75%* can't afford to front 100% of the bills.
As a man, I have no respect for any man that expects his woman to bring 50% fund into the relationship. Though, I expect a woman to support whn the chips are short.
Wait hold up
So you expect your woman to still pay?
You have no respect for urself😂😂
I am a single mom of 4 children, a licensed massage therapist and a full time nursing student. I don’t date, so I am okay being that 100%. 🤷♀️
If a single women can do that why is it women with help don’t want to lift a finger ?
What would you say if your son said “ my girlfriend wants to me pay for everything.”
Don’t lie either; what would you tell your son?
Where is this full episode??
Exactly !!! There’s no way you’re getting 50% or higher with no feedback.
If I had my choice, my wife and I with 5 Kids, I would pay for everything, but realistically My entire paycheck goes to the Mortgage plus an extra $3000 a year toward the Mortgage. My wife has to pay for the rest of the house bills. We have no car payment, no credit cards. We pay cash for everything including cars.
Hello Sir. I hope you and your family are well. If I may, who raises and nurtures the children in this case?
You missing out on benefits... that can help add money, if you can pay everything on time with cash. Why not pay everything with CC that give you 4% cash back.
Bills for year 30k × 4%CB
You get $1200 that maybe an extra house note you can pay.
You need to read up on how to make your money work for you. And benefits of Credit and how to make money off using credit.
Thank you for your personal experience. Maybi ask, Why would you pay for everything if you could?
@@Mrs-O I'm curious too and what that ratio is. Is his mortgage payment to her everything else a 50/50 split, 60/40, 70/30, etc?
@@Mrs-Owho defends the home and keeps the cars running and etc?
Finally someone understands how I’ve been thinking. So many men have had arguments with me about this mentality 🤦🏿♀️
Sure do be at the job
Cause they love justifying their BS
This is so sad. Because I will write it knowing it will not be even considered.....
You see you woman are our Queens and for the most part we(men) know this.
But you ladies have clearly lost your way!
Why do I say that?
Because you clearly DO NOT CARE about what men want.
THAT is the problem.
Men nowadays are screaming at the top of their lungs that they do not care about a woman's money, and you refuse to hear it and the message that this sends is clear: YOU DO NOT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT MEN WANT. You are just not listening to us.
IF you did, you would not say the opposite of the truth.
Imagine me saying the following:
"I think woman really need to hear this, I feel like a lot of ladies want a man that will stay at home while they work and take care of everything, but if they want us to be at home they better stay thin for us and keep that weight down".
You would realize that I have no idea what Women actually want. Well this is what you are doing here. I can assure you without hesitation 95% of men do not care about your money. Yet you are saying men want 50 50.
If you refuse to have a Disney fairytale viewpoint of reality WE will continue to get nowhere.
@@Jenjenn1111 they really do!! They have a problem with being the sole provider and call you a gold digger for wanting that. Then,they proceed to ask you to contribute financially to take care of the family and at the same time want you to cook,clean,take care of the kids and bend over backwards for them.
I’d be damned if I ever stay in a situation like this. Not on my watch.
If You are the provider and protector, I’m taking care of you,our kids and our home but if we 50/50 we are sharing other responsibilities as well. I ain’t your momma!!
@@Jenjenn1111no, you have a whole movement called feminism that is fighting against traditionalism. U are a confused gender of people
Each person in a relationship has to bring 100%. They don’t have to put their needs above their partners, but they have to 100% of the time consider how their behavior and their choices will affect their partner. Each partner is 100% committed to being considered of the other person’s perspective. They do not have to agree on everything they do not have to like the same things. They do not even have to compromise. They need to find a third option. We’re both of them get their needs, met without any resentment.
I literally pay half for everything... so I expect him to do half the chores too..
Why not share the same bank acct too much stress at least you all would be on the same accord.
Does he do it to?
It literally takes 35mins a day to insure your house never stays dirty 🤣🤣😅
@@libraalibaba right
Chores? Do you cut the lawn every other week? Do you shovel half the snow off the sidewalks? Do you paint half the house?
Kinda makes sense psychologically. If you are paying the bills and welcome her into UR house unconsciously she will feel like a guest in your home and act accordingly. If she's paying 50% she will still feel somewhat independent and that she has a right to live there not because you allow her to.
Have you heard of women bringing nothing and taking everything in a Divorce ?
Just saying a bad woman doesn’t need to pay the bills to be bad .
That take care of your woman bullshit was valid before hookup culture.
Now we share the bills cos old school respect for men is gone.
Exactly. You cannot pick and chose what aspects of a relationship you want. Both men and women are guilty of this. If you throw an apron at these same guys and tell them to get in the kitchen and cook because he gotta bring his 50, then they get offended and complain about how they're being emasculated. But somehow it is ok to push a woman into manhood? Y'll need to pick a side just like women who make entire agreements with men then turn around and cry "He's possessive" do. You cannot and will not have it both ways. Life is about choices. And choices have consequences. If you find yourself always pushing your choices onto the other person then please take some time away and reevaluate your life.
@@-glitch-8195💯🤷🏾♀️
@@-glitch-8195 freaking facts
@@enowivo1473 well then don't expect old school submission. Y'all equals now. 🤷🏽♀️
I never thought about it like this, great perspective!
Well, she sounds like a strong independent black modern age woman that don’t need no man, who gives great advice to single women, to keep them single
It’s the way you said it, sis. So graceful. Harpo, Who dis woooman?
Men don’t move in with them you pay you’re OWN 100 and let them pay their OWN. Problem solved
That's how me and my boyfriend live. Separate residences and finances. If he wants home cooked meals he buys all the food and brings it over, and I cook. But he pays for all dates because he has a high sex drive. The booty ain't free.
@@rarejewel9678 how much?
Lol & and don’t tell me you a black sister..you suppose to be fixing the problem..fixing the image of blk women being prostitutes..yet you here..selling ass to yo boyfriend
@@rarejewel9678hooker mentality
@@jimrylander9143😂😂😂
Black women, please divest. Only black men have this conversation, leave them alone.. please and thank you.
Why would a Literal Goddess reduce herself to beings that are less than her genetically. Anything that's not Melanated your settling for your Oppressor. WHEN YOUR OPPRESOR IS PULLING THR STRINGS TO KEEP US SEPERATED FROM OUR MELANATED MAN. SO ALL YOU DIVESTORS DESERVED A FIRINH SQUAD... and bringing forth them fucked ass kids...
Yep!
You are 100 correct about that any of my white boyfriend who proposed to me let me already know that they would pay all the bills and take care of me and of course I let them know you'll never have to lift a finger when you walk through the door but black dudes nahhhhh they're mainly 50/50 because they can't afford ish ...not all but most
Black women can divest all they want. Mathematics is where y’all fail. You use your anecdotal experience to give black women advisement, but income statistics prove that the vast majority of men, regardless of ethnicity, do not make enough income to 100 percent support a wife and family. Not to also mention that people mostly stick within their own racial/ethnic groups. So mathematically and logically speaking, where are all these black women going to find these men to marry them?
I agree 100%! You can’t have it both ways you can’t have it that we’re equal whenever it is time for you not wanting to fit the bill fully but we’re not equals whenever you wanna throw your weight around and you want shit to go your way or the highway.
Omg! Her voice is beautiful!!!