EP 4 | Why I have no friends at 26
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- Опубликовано: 30 апр 2024
- Hi loves! Today, I wanted to talk about why I don't have friends at the age of 26. This is more of a discussion video diary and I wanted to share some of my personal stories and struggles with this topic. If you have any advice or just want to add onto this, please chat with me in the comments below. Thank you.
Link to previous episodes and where to find the collection of these discussion videos:
EP 3: • EP 3 | Finding The Mot...
Playlist: • EP 1 | Welcoming Chang...
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Doreen
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I have never felt so validated in my life. Everything you said I just kept saying “same”. I’ve had this exact conversation with my fiancé, about how I crave female companionship and I am so envious of those girls who have girls nights, and just call each other up randomly just to talk, or go on trips together, or have random “wine” nights. Like I don’t have that. It’s a very lonely existence.
It makes me feel so seen reading comments like this and as sad as it is, I think more people feel this same way without everyone else knowing. We'll find that person like we found our significant others. Thank you for your comment and my DM's are always open💛
I'm 27 and find it hard to make close friendships that go beyond just being acquaintances. I don't have the energy for drama, gossip, or clubbing. I prefer to read, go outside, and enjoy nature. It's tough to find friends who share these values and enjoy simple, free activities.
Completely agree! Everything is so expensive nowadays, seems like most people can't find enjoyment in simple things unless you spend a ton of money :/
I relate so much, I think it’s good to be kind, always.
And when people treat you badly please politely set boundaries . I’ve only just started doing it and it works wonders, unfortunately being kind makes you easy to take advantage of.
Teach them how to treat you 🙌
I love this comment, yes its super important to set boundaries. In a way its teaching you to respect yourself and I really value that idea. I'm definitely learning to do so and unlearning to allow people to talk bad to me or put my head low when they take advantage. Thank you for commenting and we will push forward 💛
I'm glad I found this video. I'm in the exact same situation. I have an amazing supportive boyfriend and friends I can reach out to, but no one close to me. I don't have a friend group, especially not with girls and I haven't since high school, I'm 22 now. I get bad anxiety when getting close to people due to my past trauma as well. Thank you for talking about your experience, it makes me feel seen in some way, like I'm not alone.
Also for my situation I went to therapy about it and I found that it ties into my relationship with my family/parents, as well as playing the victim a lot of the time, like bringing up my past and my trauma for sympathy points or a reason as to why I don't feel normal, and being defensive when I need to be more accepting. It's hard to admit when I might actually be to blame for something when the other person has also done something to offend/hurt me. It's a two way street.
@@itsoashley It's sad that most times I feel like the people who go tho therapy to heal from the people who need to be in therapy and aren't. I also found it helpful when I went though and learning about how to control my reactions to others and not take everything so personally.
That's a really great point about it going into early childhood and family as thats where most of our traumas start. I can relate to that and it can hard to accept that it is a two way street. I could say in my case I wouldn't be very forgiving if a past friend made a mistake and hurt me in some way. I would quickly cut them out and not want to fix things with them. Its definitely something I need to work on and be more gracious with the people around me. I think it can be difficult to decide when to forgive and when to most on at times. But its something that needs to be learned in order to move forward 💛
Similar situation, I can relate to this. This is my first year in college. My best friend from school stabbed me in the back; I lost some of my other close friends. Since college started, I felt burden.
I'm so sorry to hear that about your best friend :( Sometimes friendship breakups can hurt more than relationship breakups. Just know better is on its way to you! 🫶
How life goes I found out that I don't need friends...because I don't believe in friendships...I'm not interested in other people's problems, I don't want to listen to them and I don't even want to confide with my owns)
A lot of people feel similar, including myself. Many people make close friends at church or school. So if you're not going to school now, maybe go to school for that purpose or part of some type of community if not a church.
Or host a foreign exchange student. Both my mom and I have done it and we're still in touch with them to this day (from 10 years ago) and sometimes they do eventually move to the US.
I have noticed an increase in rude people though.
Yes, thats really true that through a sense of community do people find a lot of common interests with people or you see a lot of the same people everyday which makes it much more likely for form a friendship. I love that idea of hosting a foreign exchange student(:
@@DoreenAngel If you're interested in the foreign I can direct you to the programs I know.
I think there's different agencies depending on your area and I think the countries available also depend on your area, I think there also me be an option for you to become a foreign exchange student yourself and live with a host family from a few weeks to several months.
that is an interesting subject, sometime we experience a collective number of events that just get to us, i think its important to relies that its ok to feel upset
Thats a really good point! Hopeful that its just a small phase and pushing forward(:
I'm still here for you! I believe that we are still friends even though we haven't talked in a while. Find some new hobbies and put yourself out there! :)
It's time to find a new hairstylist. While it's understandable that people go through tough times, it's not your responsibility to fix their problems. Additionally, it's important to stand up for yourself and not let others take advantage of you.
@@kylecoleman3345 Hi Kyle! I appreciate your comment(: and yeah you might be right on that, I really need to put it into practice. It's almost like I'm being tested and given opportunities to do so in a way.
I can relate
I would also suggest going to an evangelical church that is more modern and directed towards younger people for example. They often have weekly activities planned for young adults and that is how I met many of my friends. Sometimes it does take time to find a good church though as they are often very different. But that is how I met most of my friends after moving to another city. :)
Thats a lovely idea! Definitely sounds like a great place to start and find community 💛
Also I would love to see a video on if you’ve ever dealt with heartbreak and how to deal with that
Yes, I could definitely make a video on that! I hope you're not going through a heartbreak right now ):
Not quite yet but it’s almost heading that way 😅
@@contourprincess Awe I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time. I do have some advice and talk a bit on how to deal with something like that in my EP 3 | Finding Motivation in Hardships video. I'll include it in the description of this one and make a playlist series. I think it would still be good to make a separate episode for breakups specifically as I can see these types of videos are helpful. Thank you for the suggestion and sending you lots of love! 💛
@@DoreenAngel thank you so much ❤️ I will check it out! Yes it’s just something difficult and hard to go through any advice would be great! ✨
Play survival video games! Some communities can be very engaging to newcomers despite being very new to the space.
Oooh I love that idea! And yes that’s really true, anything that involves community could be a great way to meet new people(:
@@DoreenAngel I highly suggest checking out these games, Raft/Enshrouded/Valheim/Astroneer
@@DoreenAngelTry out these games; Palworld/Enshrouded/Raft/Astroneer
All are great survival games with vastly different approaches to the genre.
@@sgtdroid My boyfriend plays all of those haha, he said they're all really fun games(:
Girl I feel the same way, and it’s not that I don’t want girl best friend it’s just hard to find a good best friend. Lots of girls today are jealous, envious and negative or wanting to start drama. I just want peace and fun and be able to connect and bond without the judgeyness if that’s a word lol but I know you get it! 🫶🏻
100000%!! It feels like theres so much pettiness and competition. Or with some past friends everything would be great until suddenly it wasn't. It can almost feel like a breakup in a way
@@DoreenAngel exactly!
I can relate to everything you said. I feel I’m always going out of my way for people but it’s not done for me. I’m basically a loner because I just don’t have people I really vibe with. 🤎
Awe It’s really frustrating :( and sad to hear how many people relate!