So, some insight you might enjoy. This is my interpretation of the topic of the songs, as a longtime fan HS1 (first album) 1. Meet Me In The Hallway - about his stepfather who had a long battle with cancer. He passed away shortly after the album came out. 2. Sign of the Times - about his friend Matt Irwin who committed suicide around the time he was writing this song. Harry said it was about a mother dying in childbirth right after telling her child "go forth and conquer." I don't doubt that that part is also true, but I think it's very clear the inspiration was Matt, given the timeline, the lyrics of the song, and what Harry said about Matt in interviews (he didn't mention his name but said he'd lost a friend to suicide and he often wondered if he could've done more for him, instead of taking him at face value when he said he was fine, and it prompted him to actually ask his friends now, and be there for them). He didn't open up about about Matt until a few years after the album came out. 3. Carolina. We know this one, this isn't an interpretation but fact. He met a girl called Townes Jones through his friend Cameron and they went on a couple of dates. It didn't end up being a relationship but he wrote the song about her. Her name is in the song, and he has somewhat explained it. Also the girl's father gave an interview saying it was about his daughter lol 4. Two Ghosts. Taylor Swift. It's in reply to her song Style. Harry and Taylor had a back and forth relationship between March 2012 and late 2014/early 2015. They both dated other people in the middle and wrote a bunch of songs about this period of their lives. 5. Sweet Creature. About his sister Gemma. In 2017, when the album came out, he said this song was about platonic love but didn't elaborate. In 2023, during his last London show, he talked about his sister and how much she meant to him and said he would be playing a song for her, and played Sweet Creature (which he hadn't performed live in years). Gemma then reacted on Twitter, confirming the song was about her. 6. Only Angel. Kendall Jenner. It's my interpretation but also, pretty much everyone agrees with it. 7. Kiwi. A woman called Georgia Fowler who he had a fling with in 2015. She posted a couple of snapchat videos without letting him know when they were spending time together at a hotel and he cut off all contact with her. There were insiders saying he was livid with her. She's from New Zealand, hence, Kiwi. I'm not sure if it's an actual retelling of events, or if he's just describing a shallow opportunistic woman and the trappings of fame for men like him, because of his experience with her. I can see it go either way, but I'm 99% sure the song was inspired by her. 8. Ever Since New York. His stepfather Robin. This is confirmed by Harry. He said it was about finding out that "bad news about a family member." He said this in May 2017 and then his stepdad passed away from cancer in June. That plus the lyrics plus the fact that, every album has a drawing that somewhat represents the contents of it, and this album has a Robin bird, makes me think that there are a few songs about Robin, ESNY and MMITH are my main contenders. It's possible parts of SOTT are inspired by Robin as well. His sister, Gemma, also has a Robin bird tattoo that's very similar to the drawing for this album, that's an homage to their stepdad. 9. Woman. Taylor Swift. It's a sister song to his unreleased song (for this same album) Him, which leaked in 2022. Basically after they ended things for good (when she started dating Calvin Harris in 2015) Harry was pretty jealous, even though he knew he didn't really have a right to be. Don't worry, she was the same way about him. 10. From The Dining Table. Taylor Swift lmao. She wrote her version of this song as well, somewhat. It's in 1989 TV
Fine Line (second album) I have to write things down a little differently for this one because while it tells a story from beginning to end, the tracklist isn't chronological. 1. Golden. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 2. Watermelon Sugar. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 3. Adore You. Could be about Camille or someone else. Personally I lean to someone else because of the time in which he wrote it (May 2019, a year after they broke up) + the topic of the song. The other song similar to this one (Watermelon Sugar) was written in September 2017. I think it's infatuation with someone but not necessarily Camille, also he and Camille were fairly serious from the word go, and this song seems to be about someone he was with not officially. 4. Lights Up. In his words, self identity, self expression, coming to terms with himself. He had written Medicine for his first album but he didn't end up releasing it (he performed it live a ton tho), and Medicine seems to be about exploring his sexuality and realizing he's not fully straight. I think Lights Up is a follow-up to that. Like, the journey he went through from "oh I'm not straight" to "I'm unapologetic about this and I'll tell my friends and family." The music video reinforces this idea. 5. Cherry. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 6. Falling. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 7. To Be So Lonely. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 8. She. Self identity. Not necessarily GENDER or not being cis, but more so, the struggle a lot of men face with embracing their femininity and leaving toxic masculinity behind. Not really about clothes or stuff like that, because that's pretty inconsequential, but everything that comes with it, and how that's perceived by friends and family, and the world. "He takes a boat out, imagines just sailing away, and not telling his mates, he wouldn't know what to say." 9. Sunflower, Vol. 6. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 10. Canyon Moon. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. 11. Treat People With Kindness. A conceptual song about changing the world through kindness. 12. Fine Line. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe. Okay, so not to put together the timeline of Camille Watermelon Sugar - "baby you're the end of June" that's when they started dating (end of June 2017), as well as the beginning of Summer. "In Watermelon Sugar" by Richard Brautigan was her favorite book, Harry said that book inspired the song directly. It's about performing oral sex to her, basically (well, he said it's about the female orgasm, like, those are his words). Essentially the song is about the euphoria of the beginning of a relationship. Canyon Moon - both Harry and his girlfriend lived in Laurel Canyon in LA, the song is about him being on tour in the end of 2017 and reminiscing about the time they spent together under the Canyon moon. It mentions Jenny, who's the wife of one of his friends/producer (Kid Harpoon aka Tom Hull), Jenny and Kid became really close friends with him and his girlfriend Camille and would hang out with them all the time, so the lyrics allude to him being on the phone with Camille while he's on tour and listening to his friends in the background. Missing the familiarity of what would happen when he was in Laurel Canyon with her. It also mentions "she plays songs I've never heard. An old lover's hippie music. Pretends not to know the words." This is a direct allusion to Camille's ex boyfriend, Devendra Banhart. Camille dated Devendra until May 2017, right before she met Harry. Devendra is what could be considered a hippie musician. This song is still happy, but twinges of sadness begin to appear. Golden - This is when the cracks begin to show. Harry and Camille had a whole thing with yellow, in the music video his nails are painted yellow and he's wearing a yellow hat, and the whole song and vibe of the music video is basically saying that she's too bright for him. He's always been self deprecating but this song is kinda painful. The first semblance of the fact that she wouldn't open up to him shows up. It's likely that Harry was more of a rebound to her while he was deeply in love with him. I'll expand on this in a second, but Camille recently said that her current boyfriend, Theo, is the love of her life, that they met a few years before they started dating but they weren't ready to affront the type of relationship they would end up having at the time, so they went their separate ways until they found their way to each other. This means they met before she dated Harry and she felt this way while they dated. I don't think she was being malicious about it, but I do think they were on completely separate pages and this song shows his perspective about it.
Before the next group of songs, I'll say what I think happened between them when they broke up. They started dating end of June 2017 and I think by the spring of 2018 things weren't very good between them. She went on tour with him through Europe in March 2018, and she would post from museums that he would close so they could tour together without other people, all around Europe. It was quite sweet. Around early April she quite abruptly went back to LA, while he continued his tour. She didn't seem to be working there, but there also didn't seem to be bad blood. She missed all his hometown shows in Manchester and London, which was weird, but did show up for his show in Dublin, except, she apparently didn't stay to watch it, and was just seen before the show, where she watched the opener (Mabel) standing with him. Right after that show Harry traveled to Australia where his next few shows would be while Camille stayed back in the UK for work. In Australia he started playing a new guitar he'd never played before. Turns out the guitar was designed by a very good friend of Camille's called Nikolai Haas (Harry confirmed this and he's to this day very close to Nikolai). Speculation is that Harry and Camille had ended things amicably when she left his tour and then she took the guitar to him in Dublin, taking advantage of the fact that she had to go to Britain anyway. But at this point, they weren't together anymore. Right after this, Camille was seen hanging out with some older men at bars and kissing them. People were pretty upset with her, but truth of the matter is that they were probably not together at this point. She also started dating Alexander Skarsgard (who, fun fact, was Alexa Chung's ex boyfriend. Camille and Alexa were good friends, and Alexa had been the one to introduce her and Harry, so that was awkward. Alexa unfollowed her from social media). After Australia Harry did Latin America then finished his tour in the US. Through all of this, Camille was a no-show to any of his concerts, while before, she'd go to a ton of them. She did end up going to his second Madison Square Garden show (this was in late June, they hadn't seen each other since late April!), but curiously, took a flight there on the day-off, and Harry was busy playing the final of a ping pong tournament he himself organized with the crew (fun fact, he won, and he showed off the trophy on stage lmao). Then after the show he went out with friends and she did the same, but separately. She had a photoshoot in New York the next day, so most likely scenario, they were still separated, but she had to be in New York for work, so she just went to his show because why not. Harry's next show after that was in DC and he was not in a good mood. He seemed tired and over it. Frankly it was the first and last time he didn't seem to have a great time while performing. Camille wouldn't go to any more of his shows until the very last one, in The Forum. Kendall Jenner, Harry's ex, was in the friends and family section of this show, and Camille was in the stands. She didn't go backstage, where there was a whole party until like 4 AM, and was seen spotted leaving The Forum right after the show ended. At this point she was already dating her current boyfriend Theo (they started dating in June/July). Now what do I think happened? I'm piecing together what we know happened with his lyrics and stuff they've both said in interviews plus hindsight. There are a few unreleased songs that leaked in 2022 (his producer's harddrive was hacked), and those songs are a lot more raw and unedited, so they have more "tea". Of course this is an interpretation and not facts. It's rumored that Camille has a cocaine problem (hence the multiple allusions to cocaine in songs that seem to be about her). She also has an ED, which she has talked about in old interviews. Apparently she got pregnant with his baby and ended up losing it/aborting. I personally lean more towards losing it, because the song that talks about this mentions her being in a hospital bed. Abortion wouldn't necessitate being in a hospital bed unless they had waited until she was way further along, which is unlikely. Early abortion is ambulatory and most people do it at home (it's a pill). Also, he mentions "I think you wanted to keep it." Meaning, he doesn't really know what she wanted. Abortion isn't impossible, but unlikely. You usually discuss what it is you want with your partner before doing it. I think this miscarriage had a huge impact in their life/relationship. Perhaps it made her realize she didn't see a future with him. From afar their lives seem wholly incompatible. I don't think the breakup was bad, but I think he was in love with her and she just wasn't on the same page. I think it definitely impacted her, but just not in the same way as him. And I think for a while, they continued communication and if they were in the same place at the same time, they'd hook up. I think Harry wasn't happy with this arrangement and was quite sad because he loved her so much, and he knew it was a cycle he had to cut off, but didn't know how. In New York, when she went to his show, he went out with friends, got drunk, called her, and they ended up hooking up. But there was an argument, perhaps him being jealous and possessive when he had no room to, and he didn't spend the night, which made him click and realize he couldn't continue this way. So after this incident, he called her and told her he needed distance and he couldn't do this halfway thing. She started seeing her current boyfriend shortly after. Harry was devastated that she moved on because he couldn't, and it took him a very long time to get over her. Now the songs, cause we left off at Golden. Fine Line - Falling - To Be So Lonely - This trio of songs tell the same story, just different parts of it. Fine Line seems to be about that fateful night where he went out with his friends and got drunk and called her. "We'll get the drinks in so I'll get to thinking of her." In the song he also says "spreading you open is the only way of knowing you." Meaning, she will only allow him to get to know her in terms of sex. She will not accept a relationship. This also follows Golden's theme of her not opening up to him. In Falling, he's regretting what happened. He says "forget what I said. It's not what I meant." Perhaps he was cruel when communicating his distaste for their arrangement. The thing is that he's now in his own bed alone, and the only one to blame for his own suffering is himself - the drink and his wandering hands. He knew he shouldn't do that, but he did it anyway. He recognizes he's in a cycle that's harmful for him and he needs to get out of it. He's falling, and he doesn't like himself in this context. But he's worried that if he lets go of the cycle, if he fully detaches himself from her, then she won't need him anymore, she won't talk about him anymore, she'll just forget about him and move on. And it's that fear, and wanting to be around her, what made him relent, except he now wonders, if in his desire to be around her, he's not becoming someone he himself doesn't like. The Beachwood Cafe is Camille's favorite coffee shop in LA. In To Be So Lonely, he's taken the decision of ending things. He asks her to not call him anymore (there's a play with words of "don't call me, baby, again" in which he asks her both not to call him anymore, and not to call him "baby" anymore). He says he believes her when she says she wants them to be friends and in good terms, but it's just not good for him. That he's of the jealous kind and it hurts him. "This is it, so I'm sorry." He also says "don't blame the drunk caller." Saying "i know I called you the last time, it's not my fault." There's a part where he seems to sarcastically repeat stuff she's said to him like "I was just a little boy" (he's four years younger than her and at the time that meant 23/27 or 24/28) or "I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry." Even though he says "sorry" multiple times in this album. To me, it's just stuff she said to him in their argument and he's using his fry British humor to be like "well I'm a little boy and an arrogant son of a bitch anyway, so why do you wanna be friends?" An important part is that in an interview with Howard Stern a few years later (2022) Harry said that he doesn't drink at all while he's on tour because he always hates the show right after. That in his solo career he only ever drank once while on tour and he HATED the next concert. Every single fan was in consensus while he said that, that he meant the DC concert in 2018. Which is the show after this encounter with Camille would've happened. Harry said he only ever drank once while on tour, and because of how things developed with Camille, while we don't know exactly when they broke up, they 100% did when he was on tour. And there are three breakup songs about her that talk about getting drunk, but he said he only got drunk once (something he clarified while talking about something completely unrelated). This makes the theory about all three songs having elements of the same night incredibly likely.
Cherry - This song is the aftermath of the prior three. When Camille moves on. Harry is devastated, he basically calls out her new man ("does he take you walking round his parents gallery" Camille's new man is called Theo Niarchos, the heir to the Niarchos family, which owns a ton of museums around the world). Harry is basically flexing that he's self made while Theo is a nepo baby. Harry used to take her walking around galleries, and close off the galleries for her, but through his career and contacts that he himself forged, not because his daddy owned the galleries. This song also plays with words using the "don't call me baby again" from To Be So Lonely and turning it into "don't you call him baby, don't you call him what you used to call me." The song ends with a voicenote of Camille speaking in French while Harry plucks his guitar in the background. His agonizing screams of pain mix in with her laughter. It's devastating. He said the voice note he just found it on his phone and he added it because her voice was in the same key as the song. He asked for permission to use this voicenote and the woman said yes with no issues lol. Sunflower, Vol. 6 - This is the happy note in which he concludes the story (though he actually injects some optimism as well in Fine Line, the song which closes the album, despite the theme). Basically, in this song he repeats the thematic of her being too bright for him plus also how he viewed her as this incredible being "I have your face hung up high in the gallery, out of this shade." The analogy he uses in the song is how Sunflower seeds need the flower to die in order to be able to be planted and grow new plants. Vol 6 is the stage of the sunflower in which the sunflower starts dying (1 is planted in soil, 2 is the plant appearing and growing, 3 is the plant giving out a sunflower bloom, 4 is the bloom becoming a flower, opening up, living, 5 is the flower beginning to decay 6 is the harvesting of the seeds in order to start the cycle again). He's saying "your flowers" (relationship) "just died" (just ended) "plant new seeds in the melody" (turn that pain into music, art). It's a beautiful way of seeing a relationship that caused him so much pain
Lastly (I can't believe I typed this much, sorry) Harry's House (third album) 1. Music For A Sushi restaurant. Masquerades as a love song but it's actually an analysis of the music industry as it pertains himself ("green eyes fried rice I could cook an egg on you" he has green eyes). It's basically the music industry telling him "you're hot, but you could be better, let me help you" until he's no longer of use to it, and they drop him. The music video illustrates this perfectly (he's a mermaid who's found on land by workers at a sushi restaurant, and they begin prepping to cook him until they realize he can sing, they make him the live entertainment of the restaurant until he can't sing anymore and then they cook him and serve him for dinner). The bridge summarizes it as well "if the stars were edible and our hearts were never full, could we live with just a taste?" There's also the subtle flip from "I don't want you to get lost I don't want you to go broke I want you" and then "I'm not going to get lost I'm not going to go broke staying cool." 2. Late Night Talking. I don't think initially this song was supposed to be about OIivia Wilde (his girlfriend at the time of releasing the album) because he wrote it before they met. But I think he made some tweaks in the lyrics to allude to her afterwards (he recorded the album in August 2021, so when they'd been together almost a year). "You stub your toe or break your camera." Olivia is a director and they met while working on the movie Don't Worry Darling, which she directed. It's just a generic love song and he made it about her, cute. 3. Grapejuice, this is one of the last songs he wrote on the album in the spring of 2021, so when he was already with Olivia (they got together late 2020). It's a song about hanging out in Hampstead Heath, where he lives, and drinking red wine. I think it's more of an ode to the life he had there, and she was a sidenote, but I do think it was somewhat about her as well. 4. As It Was - Olivia is mentioned (Leave America, two kids follow her), but I think it's more about his mental struggles during and post pandemic. He quarantined with friends because he hates being alone. He's been in therapy for a while and I think the pills he alludes to are SSRIs, so prescribed. I think the allusion is asking him if the concoction he's taking is good enough. 5. Daylight - This seems to be about Camille and their awful relationship that I described above. This is probably a reach, but MSG used to edit out photos of the artist that performed there on the roof, and Camille was on an airplane to go see him at MSG right before the disaster that culminated things between them. So he would be literally "on the roof" and she'd be literally "on an airplane seat." Selfishly, I want to believe this is about Camille because I'm a Capricorn and so is she, and he mentions reading her horoscope in thsi song lol 6. Little Freak - I think this is about someone he wasn't intimate with, who he maybe thought he might get with after Camille, when he was heartbroken. The song was written in early 2019 in Japan, when he was nursing a broken heart (canon event). He mentions the person in the song never seeing his birthmark. His birthmark is on his back. Meaning they were never naked, vulnerable around each other. He also mentions her hiding the body all that yoga gave her with a tracksuit and putting her hair in a ponytail. Neither of these things describe Camille. 7. Matilda. Inspired in the Roald Dahl book Matilda. He wrote about a friend, but making her character be Matilda from the book. He didn't say who it was about, but he said that he wanted them to know he cared, and that it was okay, even if it wasn't his place to do or say more. 8. Cinema. First song that's straight up about Olivia Wilde. It's just a sexy song about her being cool and hot. 9. Daydreaming. This isn't very deep, I think it's also about Olivia. When he was writing these songs they had just been separated for a few weeks while he was in LA for the Grammys and she was in London with her kids, so it seems that that inspired him. 10. Keep Driving. Seems to be about Camille once again, and once again because of leaked songs. There are other songs that are definitely about Camille where he mentions her asking him to choke her (sexually) while he doesn't really want to. He just wants to be with her, settle down with her. "She asks me to choke her, I play along." In this song it doesn't sound quite so sad, but he says "choke her with a sea view." I think it's just about realizing a relationship isn't gonna work out but you keep going anyway. 11. Satellite. I think this song is about Olivia. A lot of people interpret him saying "we share the last line" as in they shared cocaine, but I think he actually genuinely means sharing the last line of a script. Harry and Olivia met while filming a movie. It's entirely possible they were running lines together. Especially given that they made the relationship official towards mid October and they started filming in early October. Meaning, if they were running lines before they started filming they'd be in the "I like you I wanna be with you" stages while not actually dating. In this song he says "you got a new life" which fits with the fact that she had just separated from her ex fiancé and father of her two kids, Jason Sudeikis. It's basically like, "okay, you're getting your life together and I don't want to bother you, but when you're ready, I'm here, right here, waiting to be there for you and help you." 12. Boyfriends. This is just a "men suck" song. Inspired by his own perils as a boyfriend plus observing friends and family go through shitty men. 13. Love Of My Life. This is about England, he said so straight up. And it sounds absurd at first but when you look at the lyrics it makes sense. He says "I don't know you half as well as all my friends." Because his friends have actually spent time getting to know the country and the land and he has jetted off constantly and spent little time in it. It's just a postcard of him appreciating his country but realizing it's not the love of his life. I think when he wrote this song he was in love with his then girlfriend Olivia, who had a life in LA, and he was thinking that he might have to move there because she had kids which she shared with her ex. And he was like "well, England, I love you, but you're not the love of my life, and if I have to go live in LA again, then I will." (Harry did briefly live in LA from 2015 till 2017 ish, he moved back to London permanently, shipped his cars even, in 2018/2019). In Late Night Talking, which I think he tweaked to be about Olivia, he said "If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate I'm coming too." As in, I'll just go wherever you will be. The relationship with Olivia didn't end up working out but it was very committed (they both got tattoos for each other, he got her name on his thigh and she got "sexy boy" on the back of her neck).
Absolutely love all of this context! This is one of my favourite parts about making music and writing, is all of the personal details and treating making art as a form of therapy. Have been a fan of Harry since X factor and seeing him use his traumas and experiences in life to make art is so inspiring. Thank you for taking the time to provide this info and for the support (after your comments deffo solidified my fave album of his being fine line imo) 🙏🙏
hi!!! iv'e been a harry styles stan since 2019 and honestly, 'Little Freak' from Harry's House would probably have to be one of my favourites along with 'SOTT'!! along with being a harry stan, I also really enjoy BTS and have been following them since 2020. i would love to see you reacting to some of their music/solo works - whatever you prefer!! if you need help with what songs to react to/how to navigate reacting to them, as I know that it can be quite intimidating, I have no problem helping you!! thank you for this great reaction
@@sugar2494 thank you for much for the support and offer of help! I haven’t listened to Little Freak before but may do a Harry’s House album reaction in the future. Yes! That’s a brilliant idea for BTS will put that in my list - I know many members have been killing it like jungkook etc so always intrigued to see what they’re up to
So, some insight you might enjoy. This is my interpretation of the topic of the songs, as a longtime fan
HS1 (first album)
1. Meet Me In The Hallway - about his stepfather who had a long battle with cancer. He passed away shortly after the album came out.
2. Sign of the Times - about his friend Matt Irwin who committed suicide around the time he was writing this song. Harry said it was about a mother dying in childbirth right after telling her child "go forth and conquer." I don't doubt that that part is also true, but I think it's very clear the inspiration was Matt, given the timeline, the lyrics of the song, and what Harry said about Matt in interviews (he didn't mention his name but said he'd lost a friend to suicide and he often wondered if he could've done more for him, instead of taking him at face value when he said he was fine, and it prompted him to actually ask his friends now, and be there for them). He didn't open up about about Matt until a few years after the album came out.
3. Carolina. We know this one, this isn't an interpretation but fact. He met a girl called Townes Jones through his friend Cameron and they went on a couple of dates. It didn't end up being a relationship but he wrote the song about her. Her name is in the song, and he has somewhat explained it. Also the girl's father gave an interview saying it was about his daughter lol
4. Two Ghosts. Taylor Swift. It's in reply to her song Style. Harry and Taylor had a back and forth relationship between March 2012 and late 2014/early 2015. They both dated other people in the middle and wrote a bunch of songs about this period of their lives.
5. Sweet Creature. About his sister Gemma. In 2017, when the album came out, he said this song was about platonic love but didn't elaborate. In 2023, during his last London show, he talked about his sister and how much she meant to him and said he would be playing a song for her, and played Sweet Creature (which he hadn't performed live in years). Gemma then reacted on Twitter, confirming the song was about her.
6. Only Angel. Kendall Jenner. It's my interpretation but also, pretty much everyone agrees with it.
7. Kiwi. A woman called Georgia Fowler who he had a fling with in 2015. She posted a couple of snapchat videos without letting him know when they were spending time together at a hotel and he cut off all contact with her. There were insiders saying he was livid with her. She's from New Zealand, hence, Kiwi. I'm not sure if it's an actual retelling of events, or if he's just describing a shallow opportunistic woman and the trappings of fame for men like him, because of his experience with her. I can see it go either way, but I'm 99% sure the song was inspired by her.
8. Ever Since New York. His stepfather Robin. This is confirmed by Harry. He said it was about finding out that "bad news about a family member." He said this in May 2017 and then his stepdad passed away from cancer in June. That plus the lyrics plus the fact that, every album has a drawing that somewhat represents the contents of it, and this album has a Robin bird, makes me think that there are a few songs about Robin, ESNY and MMITH are my main contenders. It's possible parts of SOTT are inspired by Robin as well. His sister, Gemma, also has a Robin bird tattoo that's very similar to the drawing for this album, that's an homage to their stepdad.
9. Woman. Taylor Swift. It's a sister song to his unreleased song (for this same album) Him, which leaked in 2022. Basically after they ended things for good (when she started dating Calvin Harris in 2015) Harry was pretty jealous, even though he knew he didn't really have a right to be. Don't worry, she was the same way about him.
10. From The Dining Table. Taylor Swift lmao. She wrote her version of this song as well, somewhat. It's in 1989 TV
Fine Line (second album)
I have to write things down a little differently for this one because while it tells a story from beginning to end, the tracklist isn't chronological.
1. Golden. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
2. Watermelon Sugar. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
3. Adore You. Could be about Camille or someone else. Personally I lean to someone else because of the time in which he wrote it (May 2019, a year after they broke up) + the topic of the song. The other song similar to this one (Watermelon Sugar) was written in September 2017. I think it's infatuation with someone but not necessarily Camille, also he and Camille were fairly serious from the word go, and this song seems to be about someone he was with not officially.
4. Lights Up. In his words, self identity, self expression, coming to terms with himself. He had written Medicine for his first album but he didn't end up releasing it (he performed it live a ton tho), and Medicine seems to be about exploring his sexuality and realizing he's not fully straight. I think Lights Up is a follow-up to that. Like, the journey he went through from "oh I'm not straight" to "I'm unapologetic about this and I'll tell my friends and family." The music video reinforces this idea.
5. Cherry. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
6. Falling. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
7. To Be So Lonely. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
8. She. Self identity. Not necessarily GENDER or not being cis, but more so, the struggle a lot of men face with embracing their femininity and leaving toxic masculinity behind. Not really about clothes or stuff like that, because that's pretty inconsequential, but everything that comes with it, and how that's perceived by friends and family, and the world. "He takes a boat out, imagines just sailing away, and not telling his mates, he wouldn't know what to say."
9. Sunflower, Vol. 6. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
10. Canyon Moon. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
11. Treat People With Kindness. A conceptual song about changing the world through kindness.
12. Fine Line. His ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.
Okay, so not to put together the timeline of Camille
Watermelon Sugar - "baby you're the end of June" that's when they started dating (end of June 2017), as well as the beginning of Summer. "In Watermelon Sugar" by Richard Brautigan was her favorite book, Harry said that book inspired the song directly. It's about performing oral sex to her, basically (well, he said it's about the female orgasm, like, those are his words). Essentially the song is about the euphoria of the beginning of a relationship.
Canyon Moon - both Harry and his girlfriend lived in Laurel Canyon in LA, the song is about him being on tour in the end of 2017 and reminiscing about the time they spent together under the Canyon moon. It mentions Jenny, who's the wife of one of his friends/producer (Kid Harpoon aka Tom Hull), Jenny and Kid became really close friends with him and his girlfriend Camille and would hang out with them all the time, so the lyrics allude to him being on the phone with Camille while he's on tour and listening to his friends in the background. Missing the familiarity of what would happen when he was in Laurel Canyon with her. It also mentions "she plays songs I've never heard. An old lover's hippie music. Pretends not to know the words." This is a direct allusion to Camille's ex boyfriend, Devendra Banhart. Camille dated Devendra until May 2017, right before she met Harry. Devendra is what could be considered a hippie musician. This song is still happy, but twinges of sadness begin to appear.
Golden - This is when the cracks begin to show. Harry and Camille had a whole thing with yellow, in the music video his nails are painted yellow and he's wearing a yellow hat, and the whole song and vibe of the music video is basically saying that she's too bright for him. He's always been self deprecating but this song is kinda painful. The first semblance of the fact that she wouldn't open up to him shows up. It's likely that Harry was more of a rebound to her while he was deeply in love with him. I'll expand on this in a second, but Camille recently said that her current boyfriend, Theo, is the love of her life, that they met a few years before they started dating but they weren't ready to affront the type of relationship they would end up having at the time, so they went their separate ways until they found their way to each other. This means they met before she dated Harry and she felt this way while they dated. I don't think she was being malicious about it, but I do think they were on completely separate pages and this song shows his perspective about it.
Before the next group of songs, I'll say what I think happened between them when they broke up. They started dating end of June 2017 and I think by the spring of 2018 things weren't very good between them. She went on tour with him through Europe in March 2018, and she would post from museums that he would close so they could tour together without other people, all around Europe. It was quite sweet. Around early April she quite abruptly went back to LA, while he continued his tour. She didn't seem to be working there, but there also didn't seem to be bad blood. She missed all his hometown shows in Manchester and London, which was weird, but did show up for his show in Dublin, except, she apparently didn't stay to watch it, and was just seen before the show, where she watched the opener (Mabel) standing with him.
Right after that show Harry traveled to Australia where his next few shows would be while Camille stayed back in the UK for work. In Australia he started playing a new guitar he'd never played before. Turns out the guitar was designed by a very good friend of Camille's called Nikolai Haas (Harry confirmed this and he's to this day very close to Nikolai). Speculation is that Harry and Camille had ended things amicably when she left his tour and then she took the guitar to him in Dublin, taking advantage of the fact that she had to go to Britain anyway. But at this point, they weren't together anymore.
Right after this, Camille was seen hanging out with some older men at bars and kissing them. People were pretty upset with her, but truth of the matter is that they were probably not together at this point. She also started dating Alexander Skarsgard (who, fun fact, was Alexa Chung's ex boyfriend. Camille and Alexa were good friends, and Alexa had been the one to introduce her and Harry, so that was awkward. Alexa unfollowed her from social media).
After Australia Harry did Latin America then finished his tour in the US. Through all of this, Camille was a no-show to any of his concerts, while before, she'd go to a ton of them. She did end up going to his second Madison Square Garden show (this was in late June, they hadn't seen each other since late April!), but curiously, took a flight there on the day-off, and Harry was busy playing the final of a ping pong tournament he himself organized with the crew (fun fact, he won, and he showed off the trophy on stage lmao). Then after the show he went out with friends and she did the same, but separately. She had a photoshoot in New York the next day, so most likely scenario, they were still separated, but she had to be in New York for work, so she just went to his show because why not.
Harry's next show after that was in DC and he was not in a good mood. He seemed tired and over it. Frankly it was the first and last time he didn't seem to have a great time while performing. Camille wouldn't go to any more of his shows until the very last one, in The Forum. Kendall Jenner, Harry's ex, was in the friends and family section of this show, and Camille was in the stands. She didn't go backstage, where there was a whole party until like 4 AM, and was seen spotted leaving The Forum right after the show ended. At this point she was already dating her current boyfriend Theo (they started dating in June/July).
Now what do I think happened? I'm piecing together what we know happened with his lyrics and stuff they've both said in interviews plus hindsight. There are a few unreleased songs that leaked in 2022 (his producer's harddrive was hacked), and those songs are a lot more raw and unedited, so they have more "tea". Of course this is an interpretation and not facts. It's rumored that Camille has a cocaine problem (hence the multiple allusions to cocaine in songs that seem to be about her). She also has an ED, which she has talked about in old interviews. Apparently she got pregnant with his baby and ended up losing it/aborting. I personally lean more towards losing it, because the song that talks about this mentions her being in a hospital bed. Abortion wouldn't necessitate being in a hospital bed unless they had waited until she was way further along, which is unlikely. Early abortion is ambulatory and most people do it at home (it's a pill). Also, he mentions "I think you wanted to keep it." Meaning, he doesn't really know what she wanted. Abortion isn't impossible, but unlikely. You usually discuss what it is you want with your partner before doing it.
I think this miscarriage had a huge impact in their life/relationship. Perhaps it made her realize she didn't see a future with him. From afar their lives seem wholly incompatible. I don't think the breakup was bad, but I think he was in love with her and she just wasn't on the same page. I think it definitely impacted her, but just not in the same way as him. And I think for a while, they continued communication and if they were in the same place at the same time, they'd hook up.
I think Harry wasn't happy with this arrangement and was quite sad because he loved her so much, and he knew it was a cycle he had to cut off, but didn't know how. In New York, when she went to his show, he went out with friends, got drunk, called her, and they ended up hooking up. But there was an argument, perhaps him being jealous and possessive when he had no room to, and he didn't spend the night, which made him click and realize he couldn't continue this way. So after this incident, he called her and told her he needed distance and he couldn't do this halfway thing. She started seeing her current boyfriend shortly after.
Harry was devastated that she moved on because he couldn't, and it took him a very long time to get over her.
Now the songs, cause we left off at Golden.
Fine Line - Falling - To Be So Lonely - This trio of songs tell the same story, just different parts of it. Fine Line seems to be about that fateful night where he went out with his friends and got drunk and called her. "We'll get the drinks in so I'll get to thinking of her." In the song he also says "spreading you open is the only way of knowing you." Meaning, she will only allow him to get to know her in terms of sex. She will not accept a relationship. This also follows Golden's theme of her not opening up to him.
In Falling, he's regretting what happened. He says "forget what I said. It's not what I meant." Perhaps he was cruel when communicating his distaste for their arrangement. The thing is that he's now in his own bed alone, and the only one to blame for his own suffering is himself - the drink and his wandering hands. He knew he shouldn't do that, but he did it anyway. He recognizes he's in a cycle that's harmful for him and he needs to get out of it. He's falling, and he doesn't like himself in this context. But he's worried that if he lets go of the cycle, if he fully detaches himself from her, then she won't need him anymore, she won't talk about him anymore, she'll just forget about him and move on. And it's that fear, and wanting to be around her, what made him relent, except he now wonders, if in his desire to be around her, he's not becoming someone he himself doesn't like. The Beachwood Cafe is Camille's favorite coffee shop in LA.
In To Be So Lonely, he's taken the decision of ending things. He asks her to not call him anymore (there's a play with words of "don't call me, baby, again" in which he asks her both not to call him anymore, and not to call him "baby" anymore). He says he believes her when she says she wants them to be friends and in good terms, but it's just not good for him. That he's of the jealous kind and it hurts him. "This is it, so I'm sorry." He also says "don't blame the drunk caller." Saying "i know I called you the last time, it's not my fault." There's a part where he seems to sarcastically repeat stuff she's said to him like "I was just a little boy" (he's four years younger than her and at the time that meant 23/27 or 24/28) or "I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry." Even though he says "sorry" multiple times in this album. To me, it's just stuff she said to him in their argument and he's using his fry British humor to be like "well I'm a little boy and an arrogant son of a bitch anyway, so why do you wanna be friends?"
An important part is that in an interview with Howard Stern a few years later (2022) Harry said that he doesn't drink at all while he's on tour because he always hates the show right after. That in his solo career he only ever drank once while on tour and he HATED the next concert. Every single fan was in consensus while he said that, that he meant the DC concert in 2018. Which is the show after this encounter with Camille would've happened. Harry said he only ever drank once while on tour, and because of how things developed with Camille, while we don't know exactly when they broke up, they 100% did when he was on tour. And there are three breakup songs about her that talk about getting drunk, but he said he only got drunk once (something he clarified while talking about something completely unrelated). This makes the theory about all three songs having elements of the same night incredibly likely.
Cherry - This song is the aftermath of the prior three. When Camille moves on. Harry is devastated, he basically calls out her new man ("does he take you walking round his parents gallery" Camille's new man is called Theo Niarchos, the heir to the Niarchos family, which owns a ton of museums around the world). Harry is basically flexing that he's self made while Theo is a nepo baby. Harry used to take her walking around galleries, and close off the galleries for her, but through his career and contacts that he himself forged, not because his daddy owned the galleries. This song also plays with words using the "don't call me baby again" from To Be So Lonely and turning it into "don't you call him baby, don't you call him what you used to call me." The song ends with a voicenote of Camille speaking in French while Harry plucks his guitar in the background. His agonizing screams of pain mix in with her laughter. It's devastating. He said the voice note he just found it on his phone and he added it because her voice was in the same key as the song. He asked for permission to use this voicenote and the woman said yes with no issues lol.
Sunflower, Vol. 6 - This is the happy note in which he concludes the story (though he actually injects some optimism as well in Fine Line, the song which closes the album, despite the theme). Basically, in this song he repeats the thematic of her being too bright for him plus also how he viewed her as this incredible being "I have your face hung up high in the gallery, out of this shade." The analogy he uses in the song is how Sunflower seeds need the flower to die in order to be able to be planted and grow new plants. Vol 6 is the stage of the sunflower in which the sunflower starts dying (1 is planted in soil, 2 is the plant appearing and growing, 3 is the plant giving out a sunflower bloom, 4 is the bloom becoming a flower, opening up, living, 5 is the flower beginning to decay 6 is the harvesting of the seeds in order to start the cycle again). He's saying "your flowers" (relationship) "just died" (just ended) "plant new seeds in the melody" (turn that pain into music, art). It's a beautiful way of seeing a relationship that caused him so much pain
Lastly (I can't believe I typed this much, sorry)
Harry's House (third album)
1. Music For A Sushi restaurant. Masquerades as a love song but it's actually an analysis of the music industry as it pertains himself ("green eyes fried rice I could cook an egg on you" he has green eyes). It's basically the music industry telling him "you're hot, but you could be better, let me help you" until he's no longer of use to it, and they drop him. The music video illustrates this perfectly (he's a mermaid who's found on land by workers at a sushi restaurant, and they begin prepping to cook him until they realize he can sing, they make him the live entertainment of the restaurant until he can't sing anymore and then they cook him and serve him for dinner). The bridge summarizes it as well "if the stars were edible and our hearts were never full, could we live with just a taste?" There's also the subtle flip from "I don't want you to get lost I don't want you to go broke I want you" and then "I'm not going to get lost I'm not going to go broke staying cool."
2. Late Night Talking. I don't think initially this song was supposed to be about OIivia Wilde (his girlfriend at the time of releasing the album) because he wrote it before they met. But I think he made some tweaks in the lyrics to allude to her afterwards (he recorded the album in August 2021, so when they'd been together almost a year). "You stub your toe or break your camera." Olivia is a director and they met while working on the movie Don't Worry Darling, which she directed. It's just a generic love song and he made it about her, cute.
3. Grapejuice, this is one of the last songs he wrote on the album in the spring of 2021, so when he was already with Olivia (they got together late 2020). It's a song about hanging out in Hampstead Heath, where he lives, and drinking red wine. I think it's more of an ode to the life he had there, and she was a sidenote, but I do think it was somewhat about her as well.
4. As It Was - Olivia is mentioned (Leave America, two kids follow her), but I think it's more about his mental struggles during and post pandemic. He quarantined with friends because he hates being alone. He's been in therapy for a while and I think the pills he alludes to are SSRIs, so prescribed. I think the allusion is asking him if the concoction he's taking is good enough.
5. Daylight - This seems to be about Camille and their awful relationship that I described above. This is probably a reach, but MSG used to edit out photos of the artist that performed there on the roof, and Camille was on an airplane to go see him at MSG right before the disaster that culminated things between them. So he would be literally "on the roof" and she'd be literally "on an airplane seat." Selfishly, I want to believe this is about Camille because I'm a Capricorn and so is she, and he mentions reading her horoscope in thsi song lol
6. Little Freak - I think this is about someone he wasn't intimate with, who he maybe thought he might get with after Camille, when he was heartbroken. The song was written in early 2019 in Japan, when he was nursing a broken heart (canon event). He mentions the person in the song never seeing his birthmark. His birthmark is on his back. Meaning they were never naked, vulnerable around each other. He also mentions her hiding the body all that yoga gave her with a tracksuit and putting her hair in a ponytail. Neither of these things describe Camille.
7. Matilda. Inspired in the Roald Dahl book Matilda. He wrote about a friend, but making her character be Matilda from the book. He didn't say who it was about, but he said that he wanted them to know he cared, and that it was okay, even if it wasn't his place to do or say more.
8. Cinema. First song that's straight up about Olivia Wilde. It's just a sexy song about her being cool and hot.
9. Daydreaming. This isn't very deep, I think it's also about Olivia. When he was writing these songs they had just been separated for a few weeks while he was in LA for the Grammys and she was in London with her kids, so it seems that that inspired him.
10. Keep Driving. Seems to be about Camille once again, and once again because of leaked songs. There are other songs that are definitely about Camille where he mentions her asking him to choke her (sexually) while he doesn't really want to. He just wants to be with her, settle down with her. "She asks me to choke her, I play along." In this song it doesn't sound quite so sad, but he says "choke her with a sea view." I think it's just about realizing a relationship isn't gonna work out but you keep going anyway.
11. Satellite. I think this song is about Olivia. A lot of people interpret him saying "we share the last line" as in they shared cocaine, but I think he actually genuinely means sharing the last line of a script. Harry and Olivia met while filming a movie. It's entirely possible they were running lines together. Especially given that they made the relationship official towards mid October and they started filming in early October. Meaning, if they were running lines before they started filming they'd be in the "I like you I wanna be with you" stages while not actually dating. In this song he says "you got a new life" which fits with the fact that she had just separated from her ex fiancé and father of her two kids, Jason Sudeikis. It's basically like, "okay, you're getting your life together and I don't want to bother you, but when you're ready, I'm here, right here, waiting to be there for you and help you."
12. Boyfriends. This is just a "men suck" song. Inspired by his own perils as a boyfriend plus observing friends and family go through shitty men.
13. Love Of My Life. This is about England, he said so straight up. And it sounds absurd at first but when you look at the lyrics it makes sense. He says "I don't know you half as well as all my friends." Because his friends have actually spent time getting to know the country and the land and he has jetted off constantly and spent little time in it. It's just a postcard of him appreciating his country but realizing it's not the love of his life. I think when he wrote this song he was in love with his then girlfriend Olivia, who had a life in LA, and he was thinking that he might have to move there because she had kids which she shared with her ex. And he was like "well, England, I love you, but you're not the love of my life, and if I have to go live in LA again, then I will." (Harry did briefly live in LA from 2015 till 2017 ish, he moved back to London permanently, shipped his cars even, in 2018/2019). In Late Night Talking, which I think he tweaked to be about Olivia, he said "If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate I'm coming too." As in, I'll just go wherever you will be. The relationship with Olivia didn't end up working out but it was very committed (they both got tattoos for each other, he got her name on his thigh and she got "sexy boy" on the back of her neck).
Absolutely love all of this context! This is one of my favourite parts about making music and writing, is all of the personal details and treating making art as a form of therapy. Have been a fan of Harry since X factor and seeing him use his traumas and experiences in life to make art is so inspiring. Thank you for taking the time to provide this info and for the support (after your comments deffo solidified my fave album of his being fine line imo) 🙏🙏
hi!!! iv'e been a harry styles stan since 2019 and honestly, 'Little Freak' from Harry's House would probably have to be one of my favourites along with 'SOTT'!! along with being a harry stan, I also really enjoy BTS and have been following them since 2020. i would love to see you reacting to some of their music/solo works - whatever you prefer!! if you need help with what songs to react to/how to navigate reacting to them, as I know that it can be quite intimidating, I have no problem helping you!! thank you for this great reaction
@@sugar2494 thank you for much for the support and offer of help! I haven’t listened to Little Freak before but may do a Harry’s House album reaction in the future. Yes! That’s a brilliant idea for BTS will put that in my list - I know many members have been killing it like jungkook etc so always intrigued to see what they’re up to