I got back with my ex after a 4 year split our original relationship lasted three years she was in a relationship for one year after we split whilst I played the field we both grew and rekindled we been back together 10 years now and engaged for two years so I guess every case is unique 🤷♂️
No contact is for you not your ex,he is your ex for a reason so don't worry about who he is with,God gave you a escape out of a toxic relationship so move forward.
I hate to agree but I do. She sees me everyday yet she goes and gives what we had shared with another man. Even if she denies sleeping with him I couldn't believe her.
It’s really a prisoner dilemma type of dynamic, I feel like if both the dumper and dumpee dated other people during the break up then depending on why that rebound don’t work out then maybe it can lead to an authentic rekindling but it depends.
Usually if you have gone no contact, you are going to level up while they are away and see your worth. They won't be worth your time once you have had time to heal. They can stay over there with that whatever they have.... Bless you!
maaan i love your comment. I had been dumped hard after 3.5 years she just moved out today. I'm gonna go full beast mode and get in such shape and improve on so many levels that my game will be on an entire level. Us men we know what time is - it's an investment. Consistency+time = win.
Why would you take them back. The minute they get curious of what’s in the other side is a major red flag. They come back and make them feel what they deserve. Block her out.
Is better when they come back without getting into any form of relationship . Gonna be hard to take them back knowing they've been with someone else and you didn't
If I’m building myself up to be a Top G and she tries to come back to me after being with another dude didn’t work out, I’m gonna tell her, “You leaving me was the trash throwing itself out. Now stay out.”
I’ve been in NC for just shy of 2.5 months. I’ve had ups & downs. Good days and bad days. Physically, I’m in the best shape of my life. I’ve dropped 4 inches off my waist & now I’m running sub 30 minute 10km’s & sub 15 minute 5km’s on the treadmill. I’ve been rebuilding my old friendships & even making new ones. I’ve got a regular schedule with my hairdresser, having never had a haircut whilst I was in my relationship. She has never reached out to me & I don’t expect she ever will. But she’s never going to see the best version of me. So sometimes some things are better left in the past. NC is about self improvement. It’s about making yourself unstoppable. Being dumped turns you into a version of you that can achieve anything. There’s no greater pain than being dumped so nothing else will ever hurt you as much. Use that pain as fuel and energy.
Good for you, I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you, I wish one day I'm as strong as you, I been in no contact one month now, I broke up with him because he lie and cheat on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating, I gave him a chance, but he still continue with her, and she's a married woman, we been dating for 13 years, he was shocked when I broke up with him, so far its been 1 month now he's hasn't try to contact me yet, it's been hard for me, but I won't go back to him. I deserve better.
Spencer Once your heart has been broken. You are so right that type of pain you will almost never feel again. People don’t validate us. Continue to work on yourself. Trust me you will hear from her and you will never look at her the same. Stay strong and encouraged!!
@Jennifer Yates thanks so much, I'm not going to waste any more of my time, I forgive and move forward, and won't looks back, he's the worst of all my relationship in the past, he's 62 and acts like 25, he lie about everything, and cheating on me for so many years, he doesn't exist to me,.
My ex broke up with me in February after 3 years we stayed in contract until August and decided to try to fix things, when i asked her if she was talking to someone else she said someone messaged her and she didn't say anything since she didn't know where it would go. I told her if she wants to entertain someone else we can't work on us. She texted me that she wanted to heal before she reached out. One month of no contact i reached out and she said she was pursuing a relationship with that person and apologized for the pain she caused. All i said was thank you for the response, i wish you well. Now I'm figuring out where im heading, i just got rid of all pictures, notes and other things. It's been rough but i know it'll be okay because i now go to church and working on bettering myself.
@@User-ji4rn we spoke once since this comment (on my bday) and that was it. I've continued to improve myself at work, got a nice salary increase as well as perks with my promotion. I'm slowly making myself more available to dating but I know what I want so I've walked away from a couple of options.
I hope my ex doesn't ever miss me. He was a narcissist, manipulator, and devil child!! There is no bridge that he can cross back over to me. He can't ask me for sugar honey ice tea!! If I wasn't good enough for you then I'm not good enough for you now!! I even got my number changed, not again!!
Great insight! I like it when you said the ex's new partner has a "common enemy". This has nothing to do with love. It's all about ego and competition.
That's honestly the harsh truth. In the back of their head they knew they had an emotional attachment to you and would eventually return once they had their fun getting run through by new guys to "find themselves." Once they get thrown away though, and the s isn't enough they crawl back to you because they feel used and alone.
All dating has become is who can manipulate who, sucks... mine just left deleted me on all socials except snap, but watches my stories and comments on my post don't get it
He's in a whole relationship. She's was waiting. I gave him what he wanted. Which was out of the relationship with me. I walked away. I wish him nothing but the best
It is and my kid is 19. And we have been together 23 years and I’m only 43. But she has cheated before took her back for my son. Because I grew up without my father. I’m not looking back she gone!!!
Took me almost 5 months to go no contact (we were living in the same apartment), moved out and straight went and moved in with new girlfriend. So yeah, staying in contact is no good because it hurts more and makes healing and moving on harder. But it is always a good time to start prioritizing yourself and going no contact for your rebuilding.
Rebounds don't last unfortunately. You two won't probably make it long term even if the ex was gone. Value yourself more. Be with someone who isn't using you as a void filler.
This is your best video I’ve seen so far! Especially the last half of it. Talking about the 3 to 6 months time period of the rebound. I’m on day #100 of NC. My ex reached out after 60 days and asked “care to chat?” while we both were on a dating app, yes, while he was in his new rebound relationship. The next day, I replied that I was about to go out of town, and I said I would be willing if he wanted to text me, and that I wished him all the best. That was the only time we communicated and that was a month ago.
… and since he was on dating apps as well while in our relationship, that makes our whole relationship a complete lie. Why take back a liar. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and once an ex, always an ex.
I named Coach Lee, G.O.A.T Lee. The advice ya'll give is so similar, if not identical. I think we got a G.O.A.T Blac in the house! If ya'll are thinking of contacting them, stop and imagine the disappointment when you don't hear shit back from them. STOP losing the battle. Hold yourself as the prize kings and queens. We're the ones doing the work while they run from reality.
I need help with stopping those dumb ride bys that I do......I'm pathetic....I'm looking for answers that I already know of...knowing damn well if I see her with the other guy or the other guy's car in her driveway, it'll destroy me further...I mean shit hell, she already took him her family's easter gathering...
@@babyluvjr My best advice would be to start holding yourself as someone who is worthy and deserving of more than what you received. I totally understand where you are coming from because I've been through it, but over time you'll stop putting them on a pedestal and realize YOU deserve someone who doesn't do that sort of shit to you. True love doesn't run, it fights. You deserve someone who is willing to fight for you. You deserve someone who doesn't lose your trust. Also I know this might sound harsh, but you could flip the switch/coin and say "yeah, that dudes got my sloppy seconds, now it's his problem, cuz she's got problems." I guarantee you man, stop doing the drive by's. Stop stalking social media, stop the pedestal, focus on YOU and the women will too.
Wow thank you! I dated this guy for almost a year. It was good but confusing to me because he believed that in order for a relationship to last we should not text daily and be spontaneous and don't make a lot of plans to see each other. I believe all of the opposite, so one night he just stopped talking to me and I was waiting. It's been 4 months since and I was heartbroken. 1 day ago I saw him with somebody else and he looked so embarrassed and couldn't look at me in the eyes. I'm hurt, and it's like the wound is bleeding for the second time. I never reached out to him since he ghosted me like a trash and after seeing him I have more reason to no contac him. Not sure if he will reach out,but thanks for the video, it gives me strength.
I was in the similar boat with you. Then I watch a yt tarot reading, and she suggested to wear my "rose colored glasses". Strange advice, but after I wear my rose colored glasses, strangely I started to heal. All his cruel efforts to hurt me won't work anymore. Now I don't think about him anymore. Oh well, maybe a little bit. But I don't care about him. I see him in negative spotlight.
Can you make a video about a married couple where the spouse had an affair that was ruined and then jumps into a rebound and leaves husband and kids…how to respond when they reach out and that nature…I believe you’re the best on RUclips doing this I’ve watched them all and I’m curious on your perspective
2 weeks and couple days later she texted me how I was doing and how she regretted walking out and I see the change in her but is gone take time for me to see in my eyes instead of words and she been making more eye contact and more communication 🙏thank you bro for helpin me thru this
This hurts me alot. I broke up with my ex who I loved, our birthdays were on the same day, I sat at home waiting for him to take me out. He ditched me on new years, and screwed up valentines day. I had gotten him something nice on these important days. I could see that his lack of action meant that he didnt value me at all. He would try to radomly come to my home, but he said he couldnt sleep over because he had to take care of his sister who was loosing her vision, but the problem with that is, I would catch him in the neibhorhood at different stores early in the morning, he would say my home is too far from his sister and thats why he couldnt sleep over but why am I seeing you at the store near my house the next morning? He never cared for his physical appearance around me, but cleaned up his beard and mustsche to go out. I was hurting, he would say that he loved me with words and no action. I had to break up with him. Holding onto him was like trying to catch a shadow and it has caused me alot of pain. It hurts because Im such a home body with social anxiety. I stopped calling him only for him to contact me, I told him that im not trying to be hurtful but we are breaking up, only for him to tell me that he has a new girlfriend and he doesnt care. Ripped my heart out frfr but I felt it in my heart tje whole time. Im hurting so much. Why would he need to call me to hurt me even more. Havent I suffered enough? I tried to be what he needed. He didnt value me. Other men try to talk to me. I have been told that im far from ugly by a few men, Why did he do this to me? He told me that Its my fault for ending things and all that I felt was in my head. Im hurting so much. So much and I cant stop with the crying on and off.
What I learnt is that you can be the most beautiful woman in the world and still be found as unattractive by the man you're giving all your attention to. You will have to cut all communication and protect yourself from getting hurt over and over again. Bonus of cutting all communication is that he will start seeing you as other men see you, which is beautiful. Go no contact, go on a date, don't try to make him jealous on purpose to get even, just disappear entirely. It will hurt but one day it will stop hurting. You dodged a bullet!
Hi girl I am so sorry to read that. Narcissistic people tend to destroy birthdays,Hollidays and especiallyValentines day. Actually they like to discard you on those occasions. He had this girlfriend al along and also the reason he was treating you like this is because you where getting the silence treatment whiteout knowing it. He did the reverse discard. Look this up please if he comes back send him to the moon. He will never love you even if you were J.Lo and this new girl is getting the same treatment just give it 3 months 😘
I don't know you, and you don't know me but l love you sister stay strong the energy you put into being sad, depressed, loney and heartbroken - changed it to putting that amount of energy into you ❤ Sharing the love as it conquers all
Thank you so much!! However-lord knows I would be appreciative to book.. however, financially not able! Keep you in PRAYER to continue on your JOURNEY 🙏🏾✝️
Man.. Coach Blac, this is the best Video ever. You've described it precisely. At this moment, this is exactly what I am dealing with. He recently reached out after 7 Months, and we've been casually Talking and even hung out. They've been arguing. He told me they broke up, which was only a short amount of time. Now he's decided to go back to her, but is still asking for my Friendship? What's going on here? I do have a feeling the Relationship is going to fail.
Trust me, he doesn’t want you. If he did he wouldn’t have gone back to her. He used you because he was sad & lonely. Don’t fall for it, your an option to him, nothing more. Close that door & lock it forever.
Thanks Coach blac. It was exactly 6 months of the break up and 1 month after no contact. The reached out. Haha now that I am extremely busy with so many things.
Yes it does....it took 2 months but he started calling and would come by with questions and ridiculous statements. Once he actually said " my mom asks about you all the time, how come"? I dont give him the time of day. I actually changed my number and moved.
1. Theres no way my feeling will stay the same after 6 months especially after she picked someone else over me 2. If im a better version of myself why would i want her bck? I would be lowering my standards
Thanks man for this video. I really needed it. We dated for 7 months, towards the end we got into multiple arguments,broke up and blocked each other. I've been struggling to get over my feelings for her, we don't talk and she's got a new partner but I'm hoping this no contact thing works..
Yup they will do the same shit don't think to much about your future and just don't fell in love again just walk away they will regret it for whole life ☝️
I see mine moving on to yet another love interest. She has many options rather than come back to me. She is extremely gregarious. I myself could never get past that she had sexual relations with another man.
@@shawny979 my ex did that .. we was together for almost 6yrs and he just went ghost the day before my birthday he said his phone was broke and Something told me check his ig and BOOM he had posted some new girl that he only knew for like a week prior to me finding out . Now he’s all on social media saying he’s inlove 😭 and posting each other & this happened like 3 weeks ago lmao
@@aaliyaha2116 my ex left me for another man. And guess what?! she came right back. But this time I left bc it wasn’t worth being with someone who’s unfaithful.
My ex wont come back :( it's been several years. Shes with a guy who doesnt have a job and lives with his mom and dad. Were 28, shes 26. I have worked so much on myself for hopefully getting back together. Have a full time job, own car, and my own apartment. We broke up cuz we were young and i grew up in a coddled house hold. I had to completely seperate myself from my family to learn life experiences so i could grow properly. It was a while ago but ive been dedicated to her this whole time. I would have reached out sooner but the covid lockdowns set me back a bit. Im on track now though. Im afraid im gonna lose her :( we both lost our v cards ro eachother and that is very sentimental to me
Coach blac thanks for this video 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I have one question do no contact work if we been broken up for 2 years? I recently cut my ex boyfriend off in may and haven’t talked or texed since
I chased my ex for 2 weeks because she usually wants me to do that. But I found out she cheated on me for months and left me for the other person. This entire time i thought the girl was just a friend but it was so kuch deeper and it was a different girl than i thought. So she lied to me the entirety of our relationship. So I flipped the script and went radio silent. I still post on social media but I blocked her, all mutual friends and her family. She went from posting songs on her Spotify that had lyrics like "I hope you die" "I'm moving on to better things" & My response was to make a confidence playlist with erase me by kid Cudi as the first song. I'm not letting her see I'm sad. Not even 2 weeks later and she's starting to post sad songs "when I was your man" Bruno Mars 🤣 She's still posting mad songs but the sad songs have started. It's only a matter of time before she comes to her senses and then I get to decide how I want to proceed. I think she belongs to the streets tho. Consistently cheated on me for a year and a half. Made false promises about going to therapy to get better. All she did was triangulate me with everyone.
@@chavalito433 I made a playlist titled how to properly apologize to a woman with a podcast about a proper apology. She wrote me an email. Telling me I should know everything I did to her and that I should be able to figure it all out with self reflection. BUT She wrote me an essay about everything I did that pissed her off. I took ownership, I acknowledged her feelings and the impact by repeating it to her with similar verbiage. I offered a solution & told her she was included in the solution and can give input. Then I asked for forgiveness. She responded with anger and I simply thanked her for sharing her feelings with me. I am back to no contact. She really struggles with her mental health because she's a conflict avoidant people pleaser. That fawning response is passive to her own feelings and needs. She hit her breaking point and became enraged with anger so I need to let her simmer down. I will not be taking her back because I want a woman who can communicate assertively all the time.
@@starttakinnotez Ma boy i know its hard but she cheated on you. Forget her and move on. You will find a ten times better women that respects you and knows your value. Respect yourself gee
@@chavalito433 Trust me I'm not getting back with her. She can't communicate her feelings and needs assertively. But I had an ex of 2 years ago reach out to me last night. She gave me a proper apology. First woman that's ever done that in my entire life. She said she went through 2 years of therapy and realized she always tried to be right and wasn't interested in hearing my perspective and compromising with me. Which has been the main issue in all of my relationships. I was shocked. She's coming over within the week.
This video was great u could've kept on going. Now my question is HOW DO WE ACCESS THE EX HONESTLY & figure out if they're truly a good enuff match? What's the process for that? Thank you, great video👍
not really true cuz when they dating someone else right away ..rebound relationship most likely they get pregnant to the guy that they hardly know much about
I just came out of a 3 year relationship. And after 4 months from leaving my relationship with no-contact, she finally had the courage to reach out for a dinner date for closure and reuniting for a fresh start. But she informed me about the guy she is dating and that she's not ready to let go of him due to the fear of us breaking up again. I thanked her for her honesty and gave her 24 hours of a ultimatum to make a decision. I am curious for tomorrow's results.
She just called me not to long ago. We spoken for a while and then I popped the question. She tells me that she informed the guy about her pursuing me. She said that the guy became emotional, and that he said "if you gonna be with him, to make it quickly." But she said she will let him know when it happens. I was surprised due to the fact that she's still stringing him along. So I told her that I'm done with her and her games and that I am moving on and I will never look back. We just stared at each other on facetime, and then I simply hung up the phone.
I laugh because he was seriously needy to the point he would beg for compliments in the relationship it drove me nuts so good luck with his new relationship 🤣😂🤣😂
Thank you coach black for always being our motivation. I trying to stay in no contact for 4 months and after that I couldn't continue because of how I have been thinking about him all the time 😢
My girlfriend blocked me on all social media and it’s just a week but it’s feeling like it’s been years🫤 I really want to reach out but I respect myself more.
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago & went in a new relationship, Firstly I begged & cried for her to return back!💔 But later I just left her with the last email & went into a no contact. Now she is reaching out once in a week & asking abt my life & cares a lot abt my parents, I'm not giving her any attention now,nd she is now blocking then unblocking me sometimes, while having a new relationship! Idk is she happy without me or what 🥺 I want her to come back🙏 Plzz tell me what should I do for that?
@@cynthianathan4088 yes dear, I'm doing NC rytt now, & working on my own career! I know she is now with other guy that hurts a lot,💔 but I am so happy that one day she will realise what she lost 😶 She dumped me for that guy but she should always remember that KARMA HITS HARD✌️
@@Mohsinnn.00 yes what goes around comes around. They seems to think it won't happen to them but I'm a firm believer. Remember it's not our timing it's God. I'm going through the same thing. So be strong you will find someone that will love u unconditional. Be Bless🙏🏽
my ex did that .. we was together for almost 6yrs and he just went ghost the day before my birthday he said his phone was broke and Something told me check his ig and BOOM he had posted some new girl that he only knew for like a week prior to me finding out . Now he’s all on social media saying he’s inlove 😭 and posting each other & this happened like 3 weeks ago lmao
If they've not done the work and allowed themselves to heal from their relationship they left, it usually will end badly. I was with someone for 11 years who monkeybranched on me with someone I thought was my friend.. I made all the classic mistakes of spitting venom, begging etc, really fueling their ego. Since I have truly let go and say nothing at all the energy has shifted and now they're acting up.. I am unfortunately selling a house with the ex so no contact has been impossible but once the sale has went through, they will be blocked, deleted and erased from my existence. You get to a point where you don't want them back and they can feel this and it is not a good place for them. The dumped goes through all the agony the second we are dumped, the dumpers will come later when they realise the grass isn't greener. If they give you abandonment, give them silence..
@@tracymuir4527 my ex monkey branched and move in with a coworker. He had denied her to me until today when he called drunk and argued. I did all the mistakes too. We still have contact because he picks up my daughter at school & takes her home while I have class twice a week. Waiting for the semester to be over to go no-contact.
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If your ex started smashing someone else, move on yo. That’s pretty damn disgusting
💯
Yes 🤮🤮🤮
💯
I didn’t realise how stupid it was trying to get an ex back. They are gone. They will never be the same
It doesn’t matter who they date next. They are still the same broken fkd up individual. So no relationship will work.
Thanks for posting this bc I really needed to hear it! You're so right and I felt so much better reading it😊
💯
I got back with my ex after a 4 year split our original relationship lasted three years she was in a relationship for one year after we split whilst I played the field we both grew and rekindled we been back together 10 years now and engaged for two years so I guess every case is unique 🤷♂️
No contact is for you not your ex,he is your ex for a reason so don't worry about who he is with,God gave you a escape out of a toxic relationship so move forward.
Amen!!!
Amen !
True love means that you never think that the grass is greener on the other side.
Facts B
Exactly
Never take them back if they’ve been with someone else
@MercyGrace-ft7ro don’t you feel it’s tainted? She’s been with another man emotionally and sexually in the middle of your relationship
I hate to agree but I do. She sees me everyday yet she goes and gives what we had shared with another man. Even if she denies sleeping with him I couldn't believe her.
I don't give a shit. I moved on, and she moved on. If fate brings us back, it wouldn't bother me.
what if she never did the sexual shit like idk if they aint fuck i can look past it but if they did then yeah no 100% value goes way down
@@greglavers i can feel what you feel, he cheated and i got the video they have sex from his new girlfriend. So disgusting
Thank you coach black. Waiting for an ex to come back after a rebound makes nosense. We deserve better.
Did they come back?
@@wolfang2232 No, I changed numbers and moved to another city. I shutdown all social media accounts.
How does that make no sense I still want mine no matter if she with some one I don’t care
Did your ex come back brother answer pls
It’s really a prisoner dilemma type of dynamic, I feel like if both the dumper and dumpee dated other people during the break up then depending on why that rebound don’t work out then maybe it can lead to an authentic rekindling but it depends.
Usually if you have gone no contact, you are going to level up while they are away and see your worth. They won't be worth your time once you have had time to heal. They can stay over there with that whatever they have.... Bless you!
focusing on yourself and your fitness goes a long way!
maaan i love your comment. I had been dumped hard after 3.5 years she just moved out today. I'm gonna go full beast mode and get in such shape and improve on so many levels that my game will be on an entire level. Us men we know what time is - it's an investment. Consistency+time = win.
@@karolkozak64 sorry for the loss. However, breakups are the most intense moments for growth and self-improvement. Let's get it!
agree! It does make you evaluate yourself...
They'll return when the grass isn't 🍏 on the other side 🥾
What if there is bush?
They usually do
Why would you take them back. The minute they get curious of what’s in the other side is a major red flag. They come back and make them feel what they deserve. Block her out.
@@MrBotteh what do u mean by "they come back and make them feel what they deserve "?
Don't expect that
I don't want her back after knowing the new dude is fuxxing her I'm good.. I'm not gone self improve just to let her back in my life that's crazy..💯
Jesús loves you
Is better when they come back without getting into any form of relationship . Gonna be hard to take them back knowing they've been with someone else and you didn't
That's true.
True
This just makes me really not want to be in a relationship! I just don't got time to deal with nobody who's full of 💩
If I’m building myself up to be a Top G and she tries to come back to me after being with another dude didn’t work out, I’m gonna tell her, “You leaving me was the trash throwing itself out. Now stay out.”
Great response! I loved that😂
I’ve been in NC for just shy of 2.5 months. I’ve had ups & downs. Good days and bad days. Physically, I’m in the best shape of my life. I’ve dropped 4 inches off my waist & now I’m running sub 30 minute 10km’s & sub 15 minute 5km’s on the treadmill. I’ve been rebuilding my old friendships & even making new ones. I’ve got a regular schedule with my hairdresser, having never had a haircut whilst I was in my relationship. She has never reached out to me & I don’t expect she ever will. But she’s never going to see the best version of me. So sometimes some things are better left in the past. NC is about self improvement. It’s about making yourself unstoppable. Being dumped turns you into a version of you that can achieve anything. There’s no greater pain than being dumped so nothing else will ever hurt you as much. Use that pain as fuel and energy.
Good for you, I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you, I wish one day I'm as strong as you, I been in no contact one month now, I broke up with him because he lie and cheat on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating, I gave him a chance, but he still continue with her, and she's a married woman, we been dating for 13 years, he was shocked when I broke up with him, so far its been 1 month now he's hasn't try to contact me yet, it's been hard for me, but I won't go back to him. I deserve better.
Spencer
Once your heart has been broken. You are so right that type of pain you will almost never feel again. People don’t validate us. Continue to work on yourself. Trust me you will hear from her and you will never look at her the same. Stay strong and encouraged!!
Srey EN. You stay strong, all the best to you. I am proud of you. Don't wast anymore of your life, 13 years is long enough. ⭐👍
Thank you coach Black for this video. You give great advice.💯⭐👍 bless you.
@Jennifer Yates thanks so much, I'm not going to waste any more of my time, I forgive and move forward, and won't looks back, he's the worst of all my relationship in the past, he's 62 and acts like 25, he lie about everything, and cheating on me for so many years, he doesn't exist to me,.
Nah, if she's with someone else, she can stay there. You're not coming back to me after getting blown out by some other dude! That's insane.
😂 and vice versa
My ex broke up with me in February after 3 years we stayed in contract until August and decided to try to fix things, when i asked her if she was talking to someone else she said someone messaged her and she didn't say anything since she didn't know where it would go. I told her if she wants to entertain someone else we can't work on us. She texted me that she wanted to heal before she reached out. One month of no contact i reached out and she said she was pursuing a relationship with that person and apologized for the pain she caused. All i said was thank you for the response, i wish you well. Now I'm figuring out where im heading, i just got rid of all pictures, notes and other things. It's been rough but i know it'll be okay because i now go to church and working on bettering myself.
Any updates?
@@User-ji4rn we spoke once since this comment (on my bday) and that was it. I've continued to improve myself at work, got a nice salary increase as well as perks with my promotion. I'm slowly making myself more available to dating but I know what I want so I've walked away from a couple of options.
I wish you all the best ❤️
It hurts man I hope you're okay, keep your head up king 👑
@@vibes7123 maaaaaaaaan does 6 months make a difference..lol..I've fully let go and moved on to working on myself and passion projects.
I hope my ex doesn't ever miss me. He was a narcissist, manipulator, and devil child!! There is no bridge that he can cross back over to me. He can't ask me for sugar honey ice tea!! If I wasn't good enough for you then I'm not good enough for you now!! I even got my number changed, not again!!
💯💯💯💯💯. I’m not second in any situationship or relationship FOH I know my worth … may not have known it before but I definitely know now 😎👏🏾
Great insight! I like it when you said the ex's new partner has a "common enemy".
This has nothing to do with love. It's all about ego and competition.
Yes! Bingo.
After they're backs are blown out they want to come back
That's honestly the harsh truth. In the back of their head they knew they had an emotional attachment to you and would eventually return once they had their fun getting run through by new guys to "find themselves." Once they get thrown away though, and the s isn't enough they crawl back to you because they feel used and alone.
All dating has become is who can manipulate who, sucks... mine just left deleted me on all socials except snap, but watches my stories and comments on my post don't get it
@@rickardhgartee7763humans are fucked up today. Always looking for something better, instead of putting the work into a relationship. Especially women
My ex has been with this person for 3 months and it's long distance. He really thinks he is on a high horse right now .
My ex-girlfriend as well 😅
Jesús Loves you
He's in a whole relationship. She's was waiting. I gave him what he wanted. Which was out of the relationship with me. I walked away. I wish him nothing but the best
You are strong.
@@charlesdr1981 Thank you. Sometimes you have to walk away
No contact is hard when you have a kid with the ex.
I know right. I’m in the same boat
I hope you find.peace and happiness ❤ you are Loved.
It is and my kid is 19. And we have been together 23 years and I’m only 43. But she has cheated before took her back for my son. Because I grew up without my father. I’m not looking back she gone!!!
@@windowlicker4192 It's tough....we just have to take it as a lesson learned and be there for our children. Good luck to you brother.
@@digidrum2003what's the update
Took me almost 5 months to go no contact (we were living in the same apartment), moved out and straight went and moved in with new girlfriend. So yeah, staying in contact is no good because it hurts more and makes healing and moving on harder. But it is always a good time to start prioritizing yourself and going no contact for your rebuilding.
Hope you’re doing better & also hope it didn’t work out for them 😂
If he walk out of your life,he was not suppose to be there so let him walk,now that's real talk...
Even if they will be back it will never be the same again being in contact with someone else and sleeping with them is something totally different.
Hearing this I realize I was his rebound relationship. If his ex is constantly reaching out and I am no contact hopefully it makes him miss me more.
Rebounds don't last unfortunately. You two won't probably make it long term even if the ex was gone. Value yourself more. Be with someone who isn't using you as a void filler.
This is your best video I’ve seen so far! Especially the last half of it. Talking about the 3 to 6 months time period of the rebound. I’m on day #100 of NC. My ex reached out after 60 days and asked “care to chat?” while we both were on a dating app, yes, while he was in his new rebound relationship. The next day, I replied that I was about to go out of town, and I said I would be willing if he wanted to text me, and that I wished him all the best. That was the only time we communicated and that was a month ago.
… and since he was on dating apps as well while in our relationship, that makes our whole relationship a complete lie. Why take back a liar. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and once an ex, always an ex.
Wished her good luck and said hope it works out for you when she told me she was seeing someone else killed me inside.
Me to she also had him text me from her phone
Not gonna believe it she reached out to me i met her and she cheated on Her boyfriend with me 😂 rung me the other night sobbing
On point thank you now it’s time for a new version and a new man ! Reailiance and his fearing is the goal ! Thank you coach !
The one with the soft heart will ALWAYS lose. Period. But the betrayal is forever
I named Coach Lee, G.O.A.T Lee. The advice ya'll give is so similar, if not identical. I think we got a G.O.A.T Blac in the house! If ya'll are thinking of contacting them, stop and imagine the disappointment when you don't hear shit back from them. STOP losing the battle. Hold yourself as the prize kings and queens. We're the ones doing the work while they run from reality.
Pimpin!!! That is deeper than Atlantis!!! I just have one question, if they are happy, then what reality are they actually running from?
But I definitely agree that trying to contact the ex only to get dissed dogged and disrespected , to stay blocked and ghosted, makes no sense
I need help with stopping those dumb ride bys that I do......I'm pathetic....I'm looking for answers that I already know of...knowing damn well if I see her with the other guy or the other guy's car in her driveway, it'll destroy me further...I mean shit hell, she already took him her family's easter gathering...
@@babyluvjr You're assuming they're happy. If they don't communicate whether they are happy or sad without you than it's up for assumption, right?
@@babyluvjr My best advice would be to start holding yourself as someone who is worthy and deserving of more than what you received. I totally understand where you are coming from because I've been through it, but over time you'll stop putting them on a pedestal and realize YOU deserve someone who doesn't do that sort of shit to you. True love doesn't run, it fights. You deserve someone who is willing to fight for you. You deserve someone who doesn't lose your trust.
Also I know this might sound harsh, but you could flip the switch/coin and say "yeah, that dudes got my sloppy seconds, now it's his problem, cuz she's got problems." I guarantee you man, stop doing the drive by's. Stop stalking social media, stop the pedestal, focus on YOU and the women will too.
Painful question but necessary answer !
Water. Your. Own. Grass stay. True. To the. One. You. With. Take control. Of your. Grass. Where you. At. First. ❤
This channel brings me peace
Wow thank you! I dated this guy for almost a year. It was good but confusing to me because he believed that in order for a relationship to last we should not text daily and be spontaneous and don't make a lot of plans to see each other. I believe all of the opposite, so one night he just stopped talking to me and I was waiting. It's been 4 months since and I was heartbroken. 1 day ago I saw him with somebody else and he looked so embarrassed and couldn't look at me in the eyes. I'm hurt, and it's like the wound is bleeding for the second time. I never reached out to him since he ghosted me like a trash and after seeing him I have more reason to no contac him. Not sure if he will reach out,but thanks for the video, it gives me strength.
I was in the similar boat with you. Then I watch a yt tarot reading, and she suggested to wear my "rose colored glasses". Strange advice, but after I wear my rose colored glasses, strangely I started to heal. All his cruel efforts to hurt me won't work anymore. Now I don't think about him anymore. Oh well, maybe a little bit. But I don't care about him. I see him in negative spotlight.
One of the best Coaches on RUclips. Very informative and reassuring
Can you make a video about a married couple where the spouse had an affair that was ruined and then jumps into a rebound and leaves husband and kids…how to respond when they reach out and that nature…I believe you’re the best on RUclips doing this I’ve watched them all and I’m curious on your perspective
Jesus always loves you
I don't Miss him, don't need him back, and I wish him well....
2 weeks and couple days later she texted me how I was doing and how she regretted walking out and I see the change in her but is gone take time for me to see in my eyes instead of words and she been making more eye contact and more communication 🙏thank you bro for helpin me thru this
This hurts me alot. I broke up with my ex who I loved, our birthdays were on the same day, I sat at home waiting for him to take me out. He ditched me on new years, and screwed up valentines day. I had gotten him something nice on these important days. I could see that his lack of action meant that he didnt value me at all. He would try to radomly come to my home, but he said he couldnt sleep over because he had to take care of his sister who was loosing her vision, but the problem with that is, I would catch him in the neibhorhood at different stores early in the morning, he would say my home is too far from his sister and thats why he couldnt sleep over but why am I seeing you at the store near my house the next morning? He never cared for his physical appearance around me, but cleaned up his beard and mustsche to go out. I was hurting, he would say that he loved me with words and no action. I had to break up with him. Holding onto him was like trying to catch a shadow and it has caused me alot of pain. It hurts because Im such a home body with social anxiety. I stopped calling him only for him to contact me, I told him that im not trying to be hurtful but we are breaking up, only for him to tell me that he has a new girlfriend and he doesnt care. Ripped my heart out frfr but I felt it in my heart tje whole time. Im hurting so much. Why would he need to call me to hurt me even more. Havent I suffered enough? I tried to be what he needed. He didnt value me. Other men try to talk to me. I have been told that im far from ugly by a few men, Why did he do this to me? He told me that Its my fault for ending things and all that I felt was in my head. Im hurting so much. So much and I cant stop with the crying on and off.
What I learnt is that you can be the most beautiful woman in the world and still be found as unattractive by the man you're giving all your attention to. You will have to cut all communication and protect yourself from getting hurt over and over again. Bonus of cutting all communication is that he will start seeing you as other men see you, which is beautiful. Go no contact, go on a date, don't try to make him jealous on purpose to get even, just disappear entirely. It will hurt but one day it will stop hurting. You dodged a bullet!
@@unaivanovska9820 dating when she need to focus on her goals and purpose that god has given to her
Hi girl
I am so sorry to read that. Narcissistic people tend to destroy birthdays,Hollidays and especiallyValentines day. Actually they like to discard you on those occasions. He had this girlfriend al along and also the reason he was treating you like this is because you where getting the silence treatment whiteout knowing it. He did the reverse discard. Look this up please if he comes back send him to the moon. He will never love you even if you were J.Lo and this new girl is getting the same treatment just give it 3 months 😘
This man is no loss. Drop him and take care of yourself. There will be a man in your life that'll respect you and values you.
I don't know you, and you don't know me but l love you sister stay strong the energy you put into being sad, depressed, loney and heartbroken - changed it to putting that amount of energy into you ❤ Sharing the love as it conquers all
You are soo great into these topics, no other coach can bring across these topics like you are.. excellent
crazy timing coach blac. this is my situation.
Thank you so much!! However-lord knows I would be appreciative to book.. however, financially not able! Keep you in PRAYER to continue on your JOURNEY 🙏🏾✝️
Im in that situation.. 7years of marriage and she said she eants space so I gave space for one month and now she's in a relationship with someone new
Chille plz… everybody don’t come back… move on…. They found someone else.. # it’s been 2 years. Geesh
Sounds advice coach, thank you. I always am inspired and motivated
Finally found you outside tiktok.... There is not a safe place to trust someone
Thanks for watching the video. If you would like to book a coaching call, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
Coach black the 🐐 no 🧢
Thanks man!
@@blacademicin your video advice Push her away...what should we say to push her away
Man.. Coach Blac, this is the best Video ever. You've described it precisely. At this moment, this is exactly what I am dealing with.
He recently reached out after 7 Months, and we've been casually Talking and even hung out. They've been arguing. He told me they broke up, which was only a short amount of time. Now he's decided to go back to her, but is still asking for my Friendship? What's going on here? I do have a feeling the Relationship is going to fail.
Don’t you DARE except his friendship! You lower your value. He just wants to know he can have you to fall back on if his rebound fails
Trust me, he doesn’t want you. If he did he wouldn’t have gone back to her. He used you because he was sad & lonely. Don’t fall for it, your an option to him, nothing more. Close that door & lock it forever.
@@sashaharvey1963 Thanks.
@@c.williams3740 Thanks.
Thanks Coach blac. It was exactly 6 months of the break up and 1 month after no contact. The reached out. Haha now that I am extremely busy with so many things.
Yes it does....it took 2 months but he started calling and would come by with questions and ridiculous statements. Once he actually said " my mom asks about you all the time, how come"? I dont give him the time of day. I actually changed my number and moved.
You give great advice you helped me heal.
Thanks for the clarity more power and God bless ❤
Right on brother man
1. Theres no way my feeling will stay the same after 6 months especially after she picked someone else over me
2. If im a better version of myself why would i want her bck? I would be lowering my standards
Thanks man for this video. I really needed it. We dated for 7 months, towards the end we got into multiple arguments,broke up and blocked each other. I've been struggling to get over my feelings for her, we don't talk and she's got a new partner but I'm hoping this no contact thing works..
Please post update if anything changes
Me and my ex are talking again and she says she wants to start over as freinds. She has a new bf. So idk what this means.
@@user-me1tx7nh5t is this a rebound relationship?
@@user-me1tx7nh5tthat means she wants you as a back burner while the boyfriend still as her.
@@user-me1tx7nh5tshe trying to keep you as a backup if the relationship fails
If they left before what's stopping them from leaving again?
The 2nd time around if you do let them back is it ever gonna be the same?
Yup they will do the same shit don't think to much about your future and just don't fell in love again just walk away they will regret it for whole life ☝️
I see mine moving on to yet another love interest. She has many options rather than come back to me. She is extremely gregarious. I myself could never get past that she had sexual relations with another man.
I needed to hear this 💪🏽
Your lessons are so valuable..thank you
Sometimes they do meet someone that’s right for them and they stay with them
Nope, not buying that. Not while they're in a Relationship with you?
@@shawny979 my ex did that .. we was together for almost 6yrs and he just went ghost the day before my birthday he said his phone was broke and Something told me check his ig and BOOM he had posted some new girl that he only knew for like a week prior to me finding out . Now he’s all on social media saying he’s inlove 😭 and posting each other & this happened like 3 weeks ago lmao
@@aaliyaha2116He sounds like a piece of shit!
He’s done you a favour
You definitely deserve so much better ❤
@@aaliyaha2116 my ex left me for another man. And guess what?! she came right back. But this time I left bc it wasn’t worth being with someone who’s unfaithful.
how long did it take her to come back lol
@@animalstyle5242
It's not gonna work if he doesn't care about you from the start of the relationship ❤
But, thanks coach
My ex wont come back :( it's been several years. Shes with a guy who doesnt have a job and lives with his mom and dad. Were 28, shes 26. I have worked so much on myself for hopefully getting back together. Have a full time job, own car, and my own apartment. We broke up cuz we were young and i grew up in a coddled house hold. I had to completely seperate myself from my family to learn life experiences so i could grow properly. It was a while ago but ive been dedicated to her this whole time. I would have reached out sooner but the covid lockdowns set me back a bit. Im on track now though. Im afraid im gonna lose her :( we both lost our v cards ro eachother and that is very sentimental to me
Thank you so much Coach Blac!!
Thank u so much 🥺 I really needed this to hear
Thanks. This is definitely what I needed
Very well said ..the waiting game
Thank you for the information, Black. Thank you.
Great points
Awesome video thanks mate, I’m in NC for 2 weeks long way to go. Maybe I will change, miss her though
Thanks for your advice it's really helping me heal. It's been 3 months no contact but I still think about him ......
Maybe that played a part in my relationship. But i did cheat. She was never thebsame when she found that out.
Thank you. God bless you!!
I love this video. Thank you so much ❤
Coach your a genius
Coach blac thanks for this video 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I have one question do no contact work if we been broken up for 2 years? I recently cut my ex boyfriend off in may and haven’t talked or texed since
MY FIRST PRIORITY IS GOD MOST IMPORTANT PERIOD NO DEBATE
Right.
I chased my ex for 2 weeks because she usually wants me to do that. But I found out she cheated on me for months and left me for the other person. This entire time i thought the girl was just a friend but it was so kuch deeper and it was a different girl than i thought. So she lied to me the entirety of our relationship. So I flipped the script and went radio silent. I still post on social media but I blocked her, all mutual friends and her family. She went from posting songs on her Spotify that had lyrics like "I hope you die" "I'm moving on to better things"
& My response was to make a confidence playlist with erase me by kid Cudi as the first song. I'm not letting her see I'm sad.
Not even 2 weeks later and she's starting to post sad songs "when I was your man" Bruno Mars 🤣
She's still posting mad songs but the sad songs have started.
It's only a matter of time before she comes to her senses and then I get to decide how I want to proceed.
I think she belongs to the streets tho. Consistently cheated on me for a year and a half. Made false promises about going to therapy to get better. All she did was triangulate me with everyone.
Ma boy drop her and never ever let her be in your life again
@@chavalito433 I made a playlist titled how to properly apologize to a woman with a podcast about a proper apology.
She wrote me an email. Telling me I should know everything I did to her and that I should be able to figure it all out with self reflection.
BUT
She wrote me an essay about everything I did that pissed her off. I took ownership, I acknowledged her feelings and the impact by repeating it to her with similar verbiage. I offered a solution & told her she was included in the solution and can give input. Then I asked for forgiveness.
She responded with anger and I simply thanked her for sharing her feelings with me. I am back to no contact. She really struggles with her mental health because she's a conflict avoidant people pleaser. That fawning response is passive to her own feelings and needs. She hit her breaking point and became enraged with anger so I need to let her simmer down.
I will not be taking her back because I want a woman who can communicate assertively all the time.
@@starttakinnotez Ma boy i know its hard but she cheated on you. Forget her and move on. You will find a ten times better women that respects you and knows your value. Respect yourself gee
@@chavalito433 Trust me I'm not getting back with her. She can't communicate her feelings and needs assertively.
But I had an ex of 2 years ago reach out to me last night. She gave me a proper apology. First woman that's ever done that in my entire life. She said she went through 2 years of therapy and realized she always tried to be right and wasn't interested in hearing my perspective and compromising with me.
Which has been the main issue in all of my relationships. I was shocked. She's coming over within the week.
@@starttakinnotez good to hear ma gee. But stay woke king. don't be an orbiter
Well needed video !
This video was great u could've kept on going. Now my question is HOW DO WE ACCESS THE EX HONESTLY & figure out if they're truly a good enuff match? What's the process for that? Thank you, great video👍
I did the no contact now he is engaged to someone else
not really true cuz when they dating someone else right away ..rebound relationship most likely they get pregnant to the guy that they hardly know much about
I just came out of a 3 year relationship. And after 4 months from leaving my relationship with no-contact, she finally had the courage to reach out for a dinner date for closure and reuniting for a fresh start.
But she informed me about the guy she is dating and that she's not ready to let go of him due to the fear of us breaking up again. I thanked her for her honesty and gave her 24 hours of a ultimatum to make a decision. I am curious for tomorrow's results.
What happened?
Holy shit dude, don't be a backup option
She just called me not to long ago.
We spoken for a while and then I popped the question. She tells me that she informed the guy about her pursuing me. She said that the guy became emotional, and that he said "if you gonna be with him, to make it quickly." But she said she will let him know when it happens. I was surprised due to the fact that she's still stringing him along.
So I told her that I'm done with her and her games and that I am moving on and I will never look back. We just stared at each other on facetime, and then I simply hung up the phone.
@@chrome8729we need to know more bro. Updates?
@@chrome8729did she say anything after?
Thank you for your video. Helpful.
I laugh because he was seriously needy to the point he would beg for compliments in the relationship it drove me nuts so good luck with his new relationship 🤣😂🤣😂
I'm fine with doing no contact, I'm just getting worried that she's planning on moving to another country for this new rebound
Thank you coach black for always being our motivation. I trying to stay in no contact for 4 months and after that I couldn't continue because of how I have been thinking about him all the time 😢
It’s been hard I agree but still trying
My girlfriend blocked me on all social media and it’s just a week but it’s feeling like it’s been years🫤
I really want to reach out but I respect myself more.
@@isaacbetiku3105 How it’s going on?
I think the exception to this is if they start dating a close friend because then they have the close bond already. What do you think?
Great advice
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago & went in a new relationship, Firstly I begged & cried for her to return back!💔
But later I just left her with the last email & went into a no contact.
Now she is reaching out once in a week & asking abt my life & cares a lot abt my parents, I'm not giving her any attention now,nd she is now blocking then unblocking me sometimes, while having a new relationship! Idk is she happy without me or what 🥺
I want her to come back🙏
Plzz tell me what should I do for that?
Leave her right where she is 🤔 Do what the Coach says. Do YOU NOW! It's going to be hard but you can do it. I am
@@cynthianathan4088 yes dear, I'm doing NC rytt now, & working on my own career!
I know she is now with other guy that hurts a lot,💔 but I am so happy that one day she will realise what she lost 😶
She dumped me for that guy but she should always remember that KARMA HITS HARD✌️
@@Mohsinnn.00 yes what goes around comes around. They seems to think it won't happen to them but I'm a firm believer. Remember it's not our timing it's God. I'm going through the same thing. So be strong you will find someone that will love u unconditional. Be Bless🙏🏽
my ex did that .. we was together for almost 6yrs and he just went ghost the day before my birthday he said his phone was broke and Something told me check his ig and BOOM he had posted some new girl that he only knew for like a week prior to me finding out . Now he’s all on social media saying he’s inlove 😭 and posting each other & this happened like 3 weeks ago lmao
Same thing with me now my ex wants to come back
Amazing!! thankyou ❤
okay then will follow what you've said haha hope this is helpful
Great video bro
What if the relationship isn't a rebound (as in it's more than 3-6 months after the break-up)?
If they've not done the work and allowed themselves to heal from their relationship they left, it usually will end badly. I was with someone for 11 years who monkeybranched on me with someone I thought was my friend.. I made all the classic mistakes of spitting venom, begging etc, really fueling their ego. Since I have truly let go and say nothing at all the energy has shifted and now they're acting up.. I am unfortunately selling a house with the ex so no contact has been impossible but once the sale has went through, they will be blocked, deleted and erased from my existence. You get to a point where you don't want them back and they can feel this and it is not a good place for them. The dumped goes through all the agony the second we are dumped, the dumpers will come later when they realise the grass isn't greener. If they give you abandonment, give them silence..
@@tracymuir4527 my ex monkey branched and move in with a coworker. He had denied her to me until today when he called drunk and argued. I did all the mistakes too. We still have contact because he picks up my daughter at school & takes her home while I have class twice a week. Waiting for the semester to be over to go no-contact.
Single anybody want to date?
I got aproblem l was on no contact then she strt talking to me greeting asking for small favour so my no contact is messed up
That might be her trying to get back in your life.
Even if she does get back, I blocked her from 2 social media platforms