6 Qualities to Look for in a Wife | Jonathan "JP" Pokluda
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- Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2022
- Oftentimes, guys start the search for a wife with "how do they make me feel", instead of "will they be good at the assignment?" In this message, Jonathan "JP" Pokluda walks us through Proverbs 31 and points out 6 qualities to look for in a wife.
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Do you ever feel like your dating life is constantly at a disadvantage? Maybe it’s the right person, but the wrong time or you see the red flags 🚩 but red has become your new favorite color. Well, worry no more. It’s time to turn the tables and gain the advantage of your dating life. In this series, we’re tackling the biblical principles one should bring to the table when dating God's way.
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1) See Women as Priceless
2) Resourceful
3) Empathetic
4) Tasteful
5) Thoughtuful
6) Yielded to God
35:40 - The five fingers:
-Complementation
-Direction/Orientation
-Communication
-Commitment
-Attractiveness
-> If you gotta loose a finger, it would rather be the pinky one. It is better tho with all of them.
Not Western
Other things to consider:
Purity/virgin
Impulse control
Respect for her father
Little to no debt
Submissive
Agreeable
Can clean and cook well (domestic)
@@agnesr.4664 idk how attractiveness could be "lost". How do you ever intend to marry and spend the rest of your life dedicated to someone that you aren't even attracted to. You can make compromises here and there but at the end of the day you can't lie to yourself into truly wanting to be with someone you don't actually want.
Oh my, I'm LOVING his honesty!! "You don't understand the scars, the pain, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety". So beautiful he's trying to help help you avoid all of that, men. Take advantage!
I wish I could say I didn’t understand. I experienced all those things and he’s absolutely right. Young people, please wait on the Lord and seek out Godly character in a spouse. Too many Jezebels destroying Gods children before they reach Gods best.
The whole sermon was so good. We need more sermons like that. Men need spiritual fathers who speak the truth from scripture in their life.
I needed to hear this message after getting rejected by a man, reason for rejection is being intense and intimidating! I would say, I love the Lord intensly and I have the fear of the Lord in my heart. Thank you Pastor JP for this great message. I pray men look for a woman's after God's heart not someone who fits their personal type or agenda.
Thank you so much for this! I had a lonely ache in my soul this Christmas feeling low about being almost 38 and still a single Pringle. This has super charged my faith believing God has a godly man out there who will know my worth in Christ. Thank you! 🙏
Me too girl! I’m 43 and been single for years. This Christmas was hard and I felt very down. But I recently in the last week decided I needed to focus more on god and becoming a better Christian woman and I just know god will bless me with a husband and he will bless you too! Focus on god! Xoxo
Same here. I have been living for God and every now and then it hits me that I am single. Praying with you guys in agreement! His will be done❤
O-o
@@jaimiemainberger5039 Amen! Thanks for sharing. God revealed to me that He is building a foundation for us so that we inherit a promise for our future generations. God is making us the prepared vessel to be able to carry His kingdom promise for our lives. Let’s keep the faith! Amen ❤️❤️
@LION THE KING there are no single guys at my church. We just pray them in
WE NEED PREACHERS WHO PREACH LIKE THIS MORE THAN EVER!!!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
When I was younger, between the ages of maybe 15 and 24ish (I am now 28), I cared a lot about how I looked. I would make my hair perfect every day. I would straighten my hair perfectly. Not a single hair could be out of place. I researched how I should do my make-up to be attractive to most men. A bit of make-up to accentuate my features, but not enough to make me look over-done. I made sure my outfits were perfect, not too revealing, but a little bit teasing. When I would flirt with men (thinking that's how I gain value as a woman - being physically attractive to men), they would want my body. But I didn't want to sleep with them. All I really wanted was love.
Thank you for helping me to see the value in myself in The Lord's eyes for my future husband! This helped my self-esteem and self-worth so much, in the name of Jesus!
To the young ppl out there who read this, take this video serious. Myself and millions of others did NOT. Its cost me so much pain and time. So many other ppl were hurt by my careless behavior my faithless actions caused years of heartache that was absolutely unnecessary. Take a second to think about your future. God bless and amen.
I just started watching and the first 5 mins is brilliant! This is amazing 🙌
SO POWERFUL. Great job pastor. Thank you for this message!
Very important message🙏🏾✨ beautifully delivered
Love this so much! Thank you for making this.
Yeyiiii!!! Paster JP is back!😇😇God is Goood.
I've never been in a relationship that I've always been his number 1.iv never felt good enough
“I wrote my resignation letter by noon, but I had no one to give it to!” Had me laughing so hard :)
Loved this message thank you !
Thank you so much for the message, pastor 🙏 This is really helpful 👍❤️
I've learnt alot from this channel may God bless you abundantly and give you more wisdom to share 🙏
i really appreciate this message. took a lot from this that i feel a need to change within myself. bless you
Amazing…one of the best I’ve ever seen!!!
I needed this so much. Infact I was looking and seraching for such
Thankful I came across this!!
Love the break down of Proverbs 31!
Beautiful message!!
Thank you for this !
Great information! Thank you: Amen
This is one of the best sermons that I have been blessed to hear that shines a powerful light on the working of a relationship
Thank you ,pastor
What a sermon! Wow!
30:52 there is a MAJOR difference between having good hygiene and having decor pieces for aesthetic. the two can not and SHOULD not be compared. having good hygiene and being clean is essential for EVERYONE'S health, guys and girls, married or not. if you can't even take care of the space you live in, not decorate it or make it aesthetic or whatever, but simply keep it clean, how can you take care of yourself, let alone lead a family? keeping clean and practicing good hygiene is a basic life skill and necessity everyone should learn!! it's never too late. it's not about aesthetic or making something look nice, it's literally only about keeping it clean. It's basic. grow up and tackle the mess. If you can't really can't do it, hire help. Figure out a way to make your space livable. It's part of growing up.
32:21 there is nothing wrong with girls getting their nails done or taking care of themselves as long as they find a balance and they can afford it. guys and girls need to take care of themselves to take care of others, otherwise it can lead to burn out.
22:23 "it's easier when you have a partner that's good at things that you're not good at" needs to be expanded much more or else it can be taken out of context really quick. it's okay to find someone who has weaknesses in certain hobbies or other nonessentials, but what about characteristics? values? beliefs? it's not the same. it can't be applied to someone with an addiction, or temperament issue or spiritual struggle. we can't solely rely on others' strength. we have to be working on our own at the same time. 22:07 you said "you would not complete them but compliment them." but looking for a partner based on them having strengths where you are weak is EXACTLY that.
David Marvin said it best a few weeks ago: "be the person who you are looking for is looking for."
This has changed my perspective. Thank you Jesus
Thank you Pastor Johnathan for being so real.. I really enjoyed your sermon.. 💛🌟💫👏🦘
I am on the opposing end where men approach me and want to have conversations about looks. Call me high maintenance, but these conversations are extremely boring to me. I enjoy intelligent conversations. Let’s talk about scripture, or the word or something productive.
Amen life is hard and to help us survive we need someone to help someone to endure with
I can't even tell you how much I liked this. Eeesh! Hit deep
not sure how I ended up here but I appreciate it!!
This was so good and so relatable in my current season of singleness. Thank you for this message. God bless you 🥹🙏🏼💗
It’s you again! We both just binge watching porch sermons haha
@@CabyBaby Hello! Yes, I try to tune in every week. I love the way they preach! 🙏🏼❤️
@@jesusiskingofmyheart same! Though I tune in like everyday and watch past sermons, I’m sure God is proud of both of us haha
Sound like someone have been found, and someone found a Rubie, ayiieee, nadedeveloo yarn🤗😊
I believe it would benefit those who came on here, to draw away from, or tear down ,etc., what I thought 🤔 was a great sermon that was directed towards marriage. I would suggest you also read Romans 12:10 and
1 Peter 2:17.
God also speaks of loving the brotherhood, respecting and loving one another, honoring accordingly, pastors and ministers, as well.
What some did here, was not in doing so.
I pray 🙏 they humble themselves and make amends to Jonathan Plakudo.
I was glad 😊 to see comments that lifted the ministry that God gave him. Nicely done. :)
So good !!
Awesome relevant authentic!
I pray I won't not hesitate too and won't be afraid telling "I don't feel valued by you" if it happen, someday with my future man.
After 13 years of being with my spouse… I used to be all these things until I had to be a leader… I don’t have time to make things pretty, the things God has called me to do… I’m also trying to be the man of the house too
Before the video, 1. Fear of God in her life and knowing how far we are from the mark when it comes to marriage in the US
Good word
Nice sermon Pastor thank you,I'm also a pastor wife.
Brooooooooo lmaooooo at the pillows comment 😂
This man is outstanding
He’s my pastor. He preaches truth. He is a man of God.
Thanks
Can i just say MAN the resonance is beautiful
🧐
@@robertfinch6602 this was truly real
Would love to see how this compared current data we have on how men and women naturally mate select.
That frog experiment brought me to laugh 😂. But holding chicken (considering a wife to cook) is better than holding frog. Scared me too during those teeange years. But just do it for the sake of exam 😂
Out of all the men I meet so far, I am convince that the good and Godly characteristic of a man are to extinct already. That I need to lower my standard because as believer of Christ we need to be Gracious to them. Thank you Pastor that have made me realize that, the reason I am pressured, thinking that I need to go with 'em on a relationship, is because it's also a way for God to lead us, and to say no. Such a blessing to hear things that really build and feed. So relatable, hopefully even I am in a hidden space, still my future husband will Found me
Great message, really spoke to me! Just wondering if these videos are available elsewhere? RUclips is my Kryptonite.. its a love/hate relationship.
Going on a second “date” tomorrow. My flesh and heart are in different places. Thanks for speaking truth!
They have a podcast on Apple podcasts also 👍🏾 You may be able to download it from there instead
Married for 26 years, here is my list:
Young/marry young (if relationships/marriage is your thing that is)
Low body count/purity
Graceful - doesn't act like a man or tries to
Family oriented (family/kids over career)
Ability to respect a man, and learn from a man
Home body - introvert
God is typically the one who makes women this way. Typically, they are not. So if she's truly living for Jesus, won't matter her past, God can make her this person!
@@jenniferwalsh1731 You lost me...
@@RandJ1996 She's trying to say that God can alter a woman to be these things. She's also possibly saying body count (or just past in general) doesn't matter but I might be reading into it.
The Fruit of the Spirit is the desires of my heart to be a Women of God and 1 Corinthians 13.
I am commenting so much😁, but yeah, finally someone said that it should start with friendship, and a man should honor the woman's virginity before marriage, honestly speaking, men that are so fast, specially if I we've not meet before . Men talking about sex and jumping to relationship as much as possible are pressuring, and stressful it's like walking on a dark road, blindfolded. Like jumping on level 10 without going on the process of level one which is knowing each other. Bec. U could be a stranger to the girl ur dating, it feel like ur in danger on a such man. Praise God, I am hearing it hehe
So true, I've always loved the idea of friendship first. In the book of Ruth, they identified each others Godly integrity first, and then Ruth was inviting to Boaz, and then he pursued a relationship. In modern times, there's no getting to know each other, and the guy does the inviting and pursuing.
Trying to keep the volume moderately even like 📈📉📈📉
@@qawemooi7704 headphones
😂😂😂
Me trying to listen at work on the down low without being obvious 😂😅
HAHAHAHAH
Gotta love Pokluda
This is a real eye opener
May God guide the man I love, while I love him he lost himself and who he is in God. Now that we are in a season of singleness I pray for him everyday that he can find God and come to know who He is again in this season of his life. I pray he can find the joy and peace that comes with His presence. If we both keep our eyes focused on God I know our paths will not only be made straight but so will our harvest. If it’s in Gods will I pray we can be together in a new light again.
I have a bit of a concern with "asking someone out". I as a woman, I'm right now in the mind that if I want to get to know people, I do it within the community, in a group and friends environment, THEN if a person knows me well enough in that environment FIRST then I think it's fine if he asks me out on a coffee date to get to know me a bit better and state his intentions, but BEFORE THAT I would not feel comfortable because I would feel like his intentions are shallow, and asking for a date kinda sets some expectations already and I don't want anyone setting those expectations before they actually know me, not sure if I'm making sense. And as I already mentioned: I think it's very possible to get to know someone in a group/community environment/hangouts, it's a matter of patience, and someone respecting that I would admire for the exercise of patience and self-control.
I think that’s very true. Getting to know each other in godly community is something really easy to do if you’re just committed to being where God has placed you, and serving in that capacity until you make your heart ready before the Lord and He sends someone walking in. (Lord willing, if you’re blessed to find someone at church or in a setting of believers)
Only problem is that all of the women in my small group have said they don't want the guys in that group to ask them out. Yet all they seem to do is complain about not having someone.
@Eliana Try listening to Robert Morris or Jentzen Franklin
My ex told people why we broke up that i was interested in girls, and looking at them online. I would get so up set, and told her I'm not doing that, and would never cheat, never have. I even said, here, look at my phone, she didn't want to look. There was never nothing. I just can't believe that was all happening.
Lighthouse
Sounds like she had trust issues but more content is needed
"she's got big arms, let me write that down"
🤣
This was hilarious to me because I dislike that fat goes to my arms 🤭
"She's got big arms put that on the list" 😄 Come on!
🙏🏼🔥
🔥🔥🔥
The name Lumuel is in the Book of Mormon.
marriage is about discipleship. the Bible's words won't return void. I'm still trying to disciple my children in this world....hoping they see the value. (ages 34, 30 and 28). I pray for them during a group text, I advise to always just default to honesty (its the easiest way out, people sense when you lie! and it doesn't work anyway!).
I also have a desire to be respected. Not only loved, but respected. I am a woman too. Is this only for men?
I don't think you get that much out of Ephesians 5:1. It doesn't say men have to die, and at the least, it is not being direct and commanded as it is for women in Ephesians 5:22.
GOD!! HEAL MY MARRIAGE!!!
I’m all that but the men can’t see me because they are too focused on suggesting for us to go to my place or to their place right at the first meeting. How could something positive come from that? And I’m still hoping tl find him…
They aren't ready for a Godly relationship. God will bring the right person, patience can be hard sometimes. I'm there now too. Learning to rest in His love all the days of my life, no matter what. I have all I need in Jesus!
I am a married woman. A bachelor Christian man loves me. He and his family were arrogant. They put me in Christians school that was satanic and had unbeliever evangelists. They gave me suffering... pain ... sick ... negative... play feelings... poison ... for ten years
I don't forgive them
They say We are your family
I say you aren't my family. If so, you never done satanic works on me
They thought they are high quality and super rich ... elegant.. so I wasn't deserve them!
They now beg for forgiveness
She has helpers too, much different from today for the average nuclear wife.
These days women are left to do it all things household wise without hand maids. Hand maids were apart of the territory of marriage- whether they were females cousins, nieces, other Hebrew (community) talithas, or youthful girls.
Today it is different, and women are exhausted, as well as overworked men. Women today are expected to do what 3 females (a wife and 2 maids) would help each other do together in a household.
That was the system that God's people carried out, but not today...... God's system really works best.
You got it the wrong way brotha! Women have standards for men like the 6 sixes!! Men just want a women
Respectful, care giving and loving!!
I feel as tho the points all contradicted his own preaching at the end. If it was just to marry the godliest woman, why did the other points on being tasteful, resourceful, etc. matter? Then we should all just arrange marriages? I don’t get it
That is a little confusing
Because those are character traits of a godly woman. It isn't enough to choose a spouse who CLAIMS to be godly. There must be evidence that she is a godly woman.
I honestly wouldn’t mind an arranged marriage by godly leaders at this point.
Normal Person: "I want to meet someone who makes me feel special."
JP: "At the root of that is narcissism."
Gee, what a crime to want someone who makes you feel special.
Yes, it's a "crime" because you're making that relationship all about yourself. It's taking as opposed to giving. It's rooted in selfishness and apathy which was what JP meant by narcissism.
@@lakebay972 I see what you are saying, but is the relationship truly rooted in selfishness if you are making the other person feel special as well? If it is one-sided, then I would agree with you. On the other hand, why is it not a perfectly reasonable desire to want your significant other to think you're one of a kind if you also think they're one of a kind? Phyllis Diller once said, "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal."
@@nathanielelliott8243 It depends on your motive. What JP was talking about is like a "What's in it for me?" mentality. To answer your other question, it could lead to idol worship (placing each other on a pedestal). Phyllis Diller was no stranger to the alter. When I was a little kid, she'd freak me out whenever she appeared on TV.
The issue is with why
No one can make you feel special for the rest of your life, every day. It's not possible. And it is the main thing most people are looking for whether they realized it or not. God gives us wisdom! Thank you God! Praise Jesus!
This entire spiel he bashes dudes and then rather than challenge women to be what they need to be, he just says "nevermind ladies, just find a guy who will do that for you".
what should women look for in a husband?
As a woman I would say the most attractive attributes a man can have are: obviously the first would be Godly. A man of faith who’s accountable to the Lord is a beautiful thing. It gives a woman permission to trust and it’s easy to surrender to her man’s authority when she knows her man is seeking God, hearing from the Lord, has good morals, etc. Another would be have confidence in yourself. If you have insecurities and don’t even love yourself, how can you expect a potential partner to take interest in you? Confidence is very attractive; stand up straight, shoulders back, chest out, speak clearly, put some bass in your voice, make eye contact and shake a hand like you mean business. Masculinity. I don’t mean you have to be a body builder or something but just being comfortable in a male role, the provider, the protector, the spider killer, the flat tire changer… etc, masculinity is desirable. One thing that wasn’t touched on is hardworking. A hardworking man is a beautiful thing. A couch potato with little to no aspirations in life is not impressing anyone. Show that you are someone who uses their time wisely and gives their best effort… it won’t matter if you’re not wealthy, a hardworking man shows great potential and responsibility… and the obvious one is have good hygiene. A man who’s slow to anger is a great quality also. A hothead is a big red flag.
David did a message a month after this one called 6 qualities to look for in a husband
Me; pshhht... I got 2 pillows.
Him; I got 11 pillows
Well.
Wives to be, buy more pillows, lol 😆
I've heard linen clothes represents the righteousness of God worked outwards. Not the imputed righteousness God gives to every believer, but the outward results of it.
Scarlet reminds me of the blood of Jesus in the Bible. So... someone who has plead the blood of Jesus.
The T could stand for: Testify? Someone who testifies of Jesus with action of righteousness?
Thinking of Rebecca who gave the servant water to drink. (Supposedly 40 gallons of water). The servant arranged for the marriage right after this.
No dating again for me...ever!
This sermon is respectful of women. So, God did not say , the right woman for a man has to look like a sex symbol , supermodel . She is deeper than that.
I also do not see this passage from the Bible as insulting to women. It praises women.
Look for something more than looks . As people age the looks change , and the pretty woman in her 20s may not look the same in her 40s . And a pretty woman in some cases can be pretty useless
Men often say , I will not date , girls with certain hair colours, or they are over/underweight. Or they have unique looks on their face . Or they have a disability. No wonder there are so many single lonely men.
Yeah I’m 28 still being single kind of makes you wonder how long you(me) can actually go without sex or getting married. The thing I know is that God will make ALL things NEW. I’ve heard things about Heaven marvelous things. Guess I’m impatient Lol.
@@robertfinch6602 Robert , you are not impatient, just human.
@@spmoran4703 ? :)
And another thing is that many Christian men want the wife to submit, obey but they’re aren’t willing to love their wife as Christ loved the church. They’re not willing to submit to God in that aspect so many divorces happen in the Christian community because Christian women are tired of being trampled on.
There are more single women than men in church. Women say men have to be at least 6 ft and make six figures. Men and women nowadays are just going to remain single and alone.
I used to watch videos from this ministry, however, as I’ve been growing in my relationships with God I notice this ministry is very water down. Like they really do content for what people what to hear instead of what people should actually hear. Where is the real gospel of Jesus here? It’s sad cause they have a lot of potential but they really are trying to please people. Like where are the videos about “how to know if you are a lukewarm Christian?” Or “how to know God’s voice and will in your life?” Or “how to worship the Lord with all of your heart and soul and mind?”like where are these videos ??? :/
I heavily agree I recommend both Paul washer and David Wilkerson both very powerful preachers.
I agree with you I want the truth not watered down speak the real gospel!
They have different ministries. You have to appreciate a preacher where God has them speaking to different audiences.
@@allonesea I do appreciate them, like I said, they were good to me at the beginning of my journey, but it would be nice if on occasions they would stop focusing on dating topics and focus on how to grow closer to God. I love learning about God and it would be so nice if they would make videos that focus on the character of God. What is His reaction on different situations? How does He respond to humans? How do we respond to Him?? These are the questions that I love learning because when we go through spiritual warfare that’s how we are able to identify His voice among the enemy’s. That how we know who is our shepherd. Dating is fun, but there is so much more than that. A person can only fill your heart to an extent, but God is the only one that can fill it completely and fully. I don’t know, that’s just my two cents
@@Eliana9292 Sometimes people can only say the same thing over and over in their sermons or teachings. But maybe that is what God has put in their heart to say.
I married the most Godly man I knew. It’s not working out. In fact, after 13 years of marriage, I’m ready to be done with this and stay single.
Also, my exact thoughts were: if I find a Godly man, there’s NO WAY our marriage will ever fail.
So, that’s just my own 2 cents. But overall, this is a good message.
Then either you aren’t a godly woman or he isn’t a godly man. See the red flags before you get married, pray together everyday
Georgia, you may find some encouragement from the Empowered Wife Community of Laura Doyle. Check out her book and podcast, The Empowered Wife. Applying these relationship tools have improved all my relationships and they are biblically based. 🙏
While listening to what you have to say on the subject it's kinda off putting that your ministry excludes people the minute they turn 40, and it's fairly obvious that it creates unnatural selection bias (by ostracizing perfectly good candidates) . Just saying, it's kinda a broken way to treat people.
I agree, I wish they would preach to singles about dating and marriage who are over age 25. This is good but I feel he's lecturing to teens and young adults in their early 20s...and I'm 33.
The porch is for young adults in their 20s & 30s but It’s unfortunate that the ministry isn’t catering to older singles.
@@immanueldarling4449 Everyone has their gifts and callings. One ministry can't do it all. Just like the apostle Paul's main focus with his ministry was the Gentiles, and Peter's focus was the Jews. Unfortunate?
THAT DOES NOT MEAN AVOID THE PRETTY WOMAN: if she’s pretty and Godly, GREAT, you get to keep the pinky!!
I’m a pretty and Godly woman. I get treated like both a toy and an evil temptation. Treat me better.
Reading about women in their 30s+ dont give me hope, i’ll be honest. I honestly dont give two cents anymore about finding someone. Bye 👋 i’ll take the wisdom though
This is the most disturbing “sermon” (if you could even call it that) that I’ve ever heard. Incredibly dangerous rhetoric spoken here, the amount of throwing women under the bus and being surprised to find your wife doesn’t feel “valued” by you? The cognitive dissonance is astounding. I promise not everyone who loves Jesus actually speaks and thinks like this. This rhetoric makes christians look so vile.
and this is why people are leaving the church in droves
Out of all the men I meet so far, I am convince that the good and Godly characteristic of a man are to extinct already. That I need to lower my standard because as believer of Christ we need to be Gracious to them. Thank you Pastor that have made me realize that, the reason I am pressured, thinking that I need to go with 'em on a relationship, is because it's also a way for God to lead us, and to say no. Such a blessing to hear things that really build and feed. So relatable, hopefully even I am in a hidden space, still my future husband will Found me
Out of all the men I meet so far, I am convince that the good and Godly characteristic of a man are to extinct already. That I need to lower my standard because as believer of Christ we need to be Gracious to them. Thank you Pastor that have made me realize that, the reason I am pressured, thinking that I need to go with 'em on a relationship, is because it's also a way for God to lead us, and to say no. Such a blessing to hear things that really build and feed. So relatable, hopefully even I am in a hidden space, still my future husband will Found me
That is so true its rare to find rare to men and woman of God but I also feel like if you go to church you will find someone you find someone that is Christian at a bar