I used to overshare everything bc I thought that’s what you do with family & friends. You share. Not until people show you their true colors and throw things back in your face. Truthfully keeping things to myself has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. It does GROW you
I struggled throughout my 20's with oversharing. I did it because I was very insecure and I just wanted to be seen, heard, understood and validated. I was demonized as a child & was the black sheep of the family. Unfortunately, I overshared with people that did not have the best interest for me & I attracted narcissists that took advantage of me. I've been in therapy for 3 years now. I'm a lot better that I don't overshare the way I used to but I do find myself oversharing sometimes when I meet someone who's had a similar experience as me. Im working on forgiving myself for this ❤️
I've become the silent person who will talk about everything but me and others. It's been a peaceful existence. My friends can't even figure me out at all 😂. Exiting my 20's wiser and certainly refined but very content within myself. I had to learn I owe no one nothing but i owe myself the best version of myself and the life I want.
You don't have to always be relatable in conversations. Some people just wanna talk and try to see if you will tell your business like they do just be present and recognize that info and add to the conversation by not spilling your guts! People need to learn filler convo instead of oversharing 😊
The last points you touched on would make amazing videos. How to talk without "talking", how to be charismatic yet mysterious, how to give answers that are warm enough to create connection but vague enough that no one really knows what you said😂, how to be very okay with silence in conversations. Those would be really fun topics to explore, and would help everyone, but especially neurodivergent people who sometimes struggle with boundaries. Thanks again Lucy!
I regret the time I spent creating the best photos to post on both Instagram and Whatapp. I shared way too much only to get silence in the end. Being in one sided friendships where I'm the only one reaching out and they're watching what I post. i restricted them from seeing my posts while ceasing to post anymore. I wish I did this from years ago
Omg I use to just tell ppl so much , till those ppl start copying and looking down on me. Now I don’t tell anyone anything! As a hairstylist it’s hard but I gotta do it!!!! 💜💜💜great video
Places to stop oversharing 1. At work/other professional settings 2. When you first meet new people 3. On a first date 4. When you are making a major life change
I overshared because the other person was sharing his intimate experience so I thought that I know that person secret so I kinda could trust him and told about my secrets and then after telling him I regretted instantly
Some people are very silent, but when they have friends that they trust and are comfortable with they feel the need to share because they feel like their friends should know. They just say it all at this point both their past and present.
I am such a big mouth, and I don't know how to stop. I am glad i came across this brilliant woman's channel. I already made the mistake, but now I need to fix it. Thanks for the help. You are a miracle.
I was watching my videos back like girl they didn’t need to know that 😩😩😭😭😭 this was RIGHT on time! I got married a few months ago and something about that triggered something in me to stop telling people my business.
Girl! Soon as you get married....hell, before, people wanna know about your man! Where are y'all going on honeymoon. What did you do on honeymoon. When you having a baby. All these questions are to bait you in knowing how much you paid by knowing where you went. Asking what you did, I think that's self explanatory as a NEWLYWED! Sex. Every. Single. Minute. When you having a baby......take it from me, keep that to yourself too because if you try and fail, you're gonna need some time to heal from the loss without people in your face every second asking if you are ok. Or making rude comments like 'just try again next month'. Trust me. You are gonna wanna process things first before being caught off guard in raw emotions. That's for you and hubby only. But people are freaks and they wanna watch from the outside what you do in your marriage from the inside. Voyeurs. Be careful who you share with because when you get mad at your hubby and tell friends and family, but then the two of you make up, your friends and family may still be mad and that's a whole-nother can of worms to deal with. Just always speak positively and take EVERYTHING TO GOD, IN PRAYER!
Hi Lucy, i stumbled on your videos and got really interested in the “being silent series” or something around that. You’re doing a good job. Here’s what I’ll like to say as this topic is a very sensitive one and almost everyone can relate with it or maybe more of over-thinkers like me. When it comes to oversharing, I think it could be relative or subjective. What you consider TMI sometimes may not be what I consider TMI. Also, the fact that there are different types of people and their ideologies of certain subject matter varies makes oversharing subjective. For example, some people who are not content creators or inclined to social media may think that having a RUclips channel or being on social media means you’re an over sharer. Same way, some people may feel very comfortable sharing certain things with their very close friends or family (sister, brother, spouse, parent) which isn’t even bad. Even though I as a person always make that little provision for, in case anything happens. This is because, not everyone has that large capacity or threshold to keep certain things. If you get what I mean, and that’s where therapy could come in. (Btw, I’m not a therapist) but the question is, how many people can afford therapy? Therapy ain’t affordable for everyone, meanwhile, this topic cuts across so many people. So at end of the day, I’d say, seek therapy if you can, speak to someone you can trust, close friend or family and take responsibility for whatever happens thereafter. Taking so much in and not having someone to speak to has led to bad decisions for some or even depression for others. So, this topic isn’t one of those topic that has a one size fits all kind of remedy. This is not to say, continue oversharing but of course, ensure whoever you’re being vulnerable with, you can trust them to the extent of whatever you’re sharing with them. No one can do life alone, in the end, we need the right people.
For once someone mentioned something positive with oversharing. I do overshare but am careful to overshare with people who I can trust. This makes me who I am I don't go through hard times of dealing with stress and depressing things. Have honestly been thinking about myself being a quiet person and am realizing I'll be trying to be a person am not. Lol feels like am oversharing again 😂😂😂
I really like your content cause like I'm realizing more and more the mistakes i have made and I'm reminiscing conversations i have had with people and i see I'm in the people pleaser and personal boudaries category
So glad I found your channel. In so many ways I have been receiving this msg. You have broke this down in such a delicate but powerful way. Thank you! Also you are so beautiful and love that nail color. ❤
Love your videos! Your channel is very underrated… I pray for your growth and success 🙌🏾✨ I tend to overshare when we’re about to have that awkward silence , so I just start telling my business 😭
I'm sorry Ma'am, can I call you Elder Sis? I feel like you're more than a teacher to me. Your lessons are top notch and have helped me so much in life. Thank you so much Ma'am.
Glad this video came across my RUclips time line, I will not be over sharing nothing else about my life, or my emotions, this was a video I needed to see💯💯💯
Haven’t been able to watch your videos in a long time cuz I’ve been busy. Watching you now just reminds me of why I subscribed to your channel in the first place. I just love watching your videos. I like certain topics you talk about that most people don’t even talk about on here. Keep being you❤
Stop and block them? How to make sure they won't spill it anywhere? Do i need to flatter them so that they don't expose it to anybody? The person i overshared was a Narcissist, I don't want to remain friends with such a person but, if I suddenly cut him off, he may spill my secrets. What to do in such situations? It's like getting indirect threats by someone, as if he is saying 'keep getting bullied by me or I will tell your secrets to everyone'.
Hey Big sister Lucy, I need a little advice on this… As a content creator, I’m in a constant struggle on what to put out here and what not to share. On the other hand,as an individual I’m even considered very secretive because I hardly share. How do I navigate this or put a balance on the two?
Thank you for sharing Lucy, I also realised it’s very important to be kind to yourself as you grow on this journey and not be to hard on yourself, You are not the woman you were and now you know better and thank you for reminding us that mistakes happen 🤍 Also over sharing does put you in a position where you may start telling lies ladies!!😅
This must be my next step because I'm not sure why it even came up as suggested. I realize I over share. I know I need to stfu. I believe it's validation, self esteem, and lack. I struggle in these areas.
Thank you for this because I do this way too much!! I haven’t watched finished watching all the videos but one thing I’ve learned is that oversharing , especially with people who aren’t close to you, fosters a false sense of closeness/ security. If you have triggers like abandonment, fearful attachment styles etc you may overshare🥲
I’ve learned you can’t do that and even parents and family and close friends will use it in someway to demonize you or betray you. I had a so called aunt do that to me in my mid 20s and she tried to ruin my relationship with my mother some people you cannot trust
After you've shared and how you know you've gained back that mystery & privacy is when people start poking and proding into your business by asking questions or making opened-ended comments to bait you to respond. I just laugh things off and make a relevant joke. Example: change in work schedule and people asking why I switched things up. Answer: it's to stalk you every other weekend.😅😂
So they still violate. They don't accept NO. Nobody understands what boundaries are until it happens to them. It's a big criminal enterprise with a big pay out.
@@Erica-cf1xb Yup. You are right! Lol, but that's why I still have my own personal policies a.k.a. boundaries and enforce them. If I don't respect my boundaries, who else will. It's ongoing because you can't get away from people. So I stay ready and hit them with a bit of scripture to boot.
![How To Stop Oversharing (Why You Need Private Thoughts) - Inner Work Library [149/500]](/img/1.gif)
I used to overshare everything bc I thought that’s what you do with family & friends. You share. Not until people show you their true colors and throw things back in your face. Truthfully keeping things to myself has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. It does GROW you
Exactly!
for real
exactly same!
Same with me. I was naive.
Sometimes you overshare because you simply trust people but these people are twisted
I struggled throughout my 20's with oversharing. I did it because I was very insecure and I just wanted to be seen, heard, understood and validated. I was demonized as a child & was the black sheep of the family. Unfortunately, I overshared with people that did not have the best interest for me & I attracted narcissists that took advantage of me. I've been in therapy for 3 years now. I'm a lot better that I don't overshare the way I used to but I do find myself oversharing sometimes when I meet someone who's had a similar experience as me. Im working on forgiving myself for this ❤️
I can actually relate to this 💔😢
Me too I am here and I want to change it a very bad habit .
me tooo i really dont known what to do my God
I've become the silent person who will talk about everything but me and others. It's been a peaceful existence. My friends can't even figure me out at all 😂. Exiting my 20's wiser and certainly refined but very content within myself. I had to learn I owe no one nothing but i owe myself the best version of myself and the life I want.
Any tips?
Keep going 😊
How did you become consistent with it.
You don't have to always be relatable in conversations. Some people just wanna talk and try to see if you will tell your business like they do just be present and recognize that info and add to the conversation by not spilling your guts! People need to learn filler convo instead of oversharing 😊
The last points you touched on would make amazing videos. How to talk without "talking", how to be charismatic yet mysterious, how to give answers that are warm enough to create connection but vague enough that no one really knows what you said😂, how to be very okay with silence in conversations. Those would be really fun topics to explore, and would help everyone, but especially neurodivergent people who sometimes struggle with boundaries. Thanks again Lucy!
I got you girlll, Thank you ❤️
Fantastic ideas you have given her, Kudos
@@MyLucyBenson❤
Yes please do these topics Lucy
agreed!!!
Me and over sharing 😭😭
I really really regret it.
This is my sign to shut up
Same here😂
Same I feel attacked after seeing the title the first video I saw as I came on RUclips 😅😅😅
Why are we even like this 😂😂😂😂😂
same 🤣
I regret the time I spent creating the best photos to post on both Instagram and Whatapp. I shared way too much only to get silence in the end. Being in one sided friendships where I'm the only one reaching out and they're watching what I post. i restricted them from seeing my posts while ceasing to post anymore. I wish I did this from years ago
Omg I use to just tell ppl so much , till those ppl start copying and looking down on me. Now I don’t tell anyone anything! As a hairstylist it’s hard but I gotta do it!!!! 💜💜💜great video
Same! I’m a hairstylist and it is hard
Thank you for this.
I’m learning “Guard your narrative; not every chapter is for everyone.”
I have been trying to gain back my privacy. Your video came at the right time. I used to think i owed people an explanation until i realized i didn't.
Places to stop oversharing
1. At work/other professional settings
2. When you first meet new people
3. On a first date
4. When you are making a major life change
I overshared because the other person was sharing his intimate experience so I thought that I know that person secret so I kinda could trust him and told about my secrets and then after telling him I regretted instantly
Some people are very silent, but when they have friends that they trust and are comfortable with they feel the need to share because they feel like their friends should know. They just say it all at this point both their past and present.
I am such a big mouth, and I don't know how to stop. I am glad i came across this brilliant woman's channel. I already made the mistake, but now I need to fix it. Thanks for the help. You are a miracle.
Completely off topic butttttt you are slaying with those braids 🥹😌🔥💅
I was watching my videos back like girl they didn’t need to know that 😩😩😭😭😭 this was RIGHT on time! I got married a few months ago and something about that triggered something in me to stop telling people my business.
Girl! Soon as you get married....hell, before, people wanna know about your man! Where are y'all going on honeymoon. What did you do on honeymoon. When you having a baby. All these questions are to bait you in knowing how much you paid by knowing where you went. Asking what you did, I think that's self explanatory as a NEWLYWED! Sex. Every. Single. Minute. When you having a baby......take it from me, keep that to yourself too because if you try and fail, you're gonna need some time to heal from the loss without people in your face every second asking if you are ok. Or making rude comments like 'just try again next month'. Trust me. You are gonna wanna process things first before being caught off guard in raw emotions. That's for you and hubby only.
But people are freaks and they wanna watch from the outside what you do in your marriage from the inside. Voyeurs.
Be careful who you share with because when you get mad at your hubby and tell friends and family, but then the two of you make up, your friends and family may still be mad and that's a whole-nother can of worms to deal with. Just always speak positively and take EVERYTHING TO GOD, IN PRAYER!
@@peacebalance8067 amen thank you!!
I use to do this and when I catch myself I just stop lol….thanks for sharing ❤
I realize I overshare🤦🏽♀️
Me too but in 2024 we’re doing better 🤝💯 New year new us! 🎉
The ‘after regrets’ i get after i overshare on a specific topic to a specific friend
Hi Lucy, i stumbled on your videos and got really interested in the “being silent series” or something around that. You’re doing a good job. Here’s what I’ll like to say as this topic is a very sensitive one and almost everyone can relate with it or maybe more of over-thinkers like me. When it comes to oversharing, I think it could be relative or subjective. What you consider TMI sometimes may not be what I consider TMI. Also, the fact that there are different types of people and their ideologies of certain subject matter varies makes oversharing subjective. For example, some people who are not content creators or inclined to social media may think that having a RUclips channel or being on social media means you’re an over sharer. Same way, some people may feel very comfortable sharing certain things with their very close friends or family (sister, brother, spouse, parent) which isn’t even bad. Even though I as a person always make that little provision for, in case anything happens. This is because, not everyone has that large capacity or threshold to keep certain things. If you get what I mean, and that’s where therapy could come in. (Btw, I’m not a therapist) but the question is, how many people can afford therapy? Therapy ain’t affordable for everyone, meanwhile, this topic cuts across so many people. So at end of the day, I’d say, seek therapy if you can, speak to someone you can trust, close friend or family and take responsibility for whatever happens thereafter. Taking so much in and not having someone to speak to has led to bad decisions for some or even depression for others. So, this topic isn’t one of those topic that has a one size fits all kind of remedy. This is not to say, continue oversharing but of course, ensure whoever you’re being vulnerable with, you can trust them to the extent of whatever you’re sharing with them. No one can do life alone, in the end, we need the right people.
For once someone mentioned something positive with oversharing. I do overshare but am careful to overshare with people who I can trust. This makes me who I am I don't go through hard times of dealing with stress and depressing things. Have honestly been thinking about myself being a quiet person and am realizing I'll be trying to be a person am not. Lol feels like am oversharing again 😂😂😂
I really like your content cause like I'm realizing more and more the mistakes i have made and I'm reminiscing conversations i have had with people and i see I'm in the people pleaser and personal boudaries category
The video ended so fast lol... It felt like you were talking to me personally. I'm guilty of having "No personal boundaries".
With certain people i forget personal boundaries. Ur so right.
You have really changed my life for the better ..I just want you to know this❤
same here
This came at the right time for real😩
Fr
The way you’ve been dropping relatable content back to back>>>>>
So glad I found your channel. In so many ways I have been receiving this msg. You have broke this down in such a delicate but powerful way. Thank you! Also you are so beautiful and love that nail color. ❤
Girl!! I just realized I don't keep my mouth shut chaiiii
First time I'm seeing you on braids you are beautiful
Braid is braiding grand soeur ❤🎉
Thank you for sharing 😊
Love your videos! Your channel is very underrated… I pray for your growth and success 🙌🏾✨
I tend to overshare when we’re about to have that awkward silence , so I just start telling my business 😭
This video came at the right time. Thank you big sister ❤
I really needed to hear this.
I really need self control on 2024
This is so me... Lord I laughed so hard and I'm glad I found this.
I was literally just talking about this lastnight , I’m happy you posted this !
This video comes sooo on time! I was just thinking about it.... Thank you!
Lucyyyyyy! Thank you! This came at the right time, more wisdom!🤲
Let me just be learning stuff here, because 2024 go hot well well. Its time for me to level up
I'm sorry Ma'am, can I call you Elder Sis?
I feel like you're more than a teacher to me. Your lessons are top notch and have helped me so much in life.
Thank you so much Ma'am.
Part twooo pllsss on how to navigate through conversations 😭😭😭🙏🏾
Love the hair sis
Yes . I wonder what color it is cause I’d like to try the color too
Oh my gosh. Your video is spot on! And now I’ll not share anymore so I don’t overshare 😂
Glad this video came across my RUclips time line, I will not be over sharing nothing else about my life, or my emotions, this was a video I needed to see💯💯💯
Haven’t been able to watch your videos in a long time cuz I’ve been busy. Watching you now just reminds me of why I subscribed to your channel in the first place. I just love watching your videos. I like certain topics you talk about that most people don’t even talk about on here. Keep being you❤
I'm so lucky I found your channel :)
thank you this helped a lot !!!
I'm going to watch your " silence " videos all.
You are favourite person in youtube today am watching after oversharing regretting and hurt thankx for help😊❤❤❤❤
I love you because you Always bring out this topic it's my biggest problem ever
Super insightful. ❤ Thank you. I knew a lot of these things, but hearing it from someone else who communicates it uniquely makes it clearer for me.
This is so timely and helpful 🥺❤️...
Thank you needed this ❤
Thank you Lucy. You just spoke to me ❤❤❤
I’m here for your hair!
I love the braids ❤😊
My online big seester❤
Thanks for putting us through😊
Thank you Lucy ❤️🙏🏾⭐️✅ i don’t share a lot but my mom and my dad will beg me to share to them im so over it. Thank you.
Thanks a lot for your advices ❤
This came at the right time. Thank you
Thank you i really needed this especially in my work place
This video came at the right time!!!
Lucy.....Thank you so much....😘😚🙏 I hope to see you one day and give you a big hug for all this timely advice 🙏🙏🙏🙏God bless you 😃
I really learnt a lot from you big sis 🔥🔥🔥🥰
Am grateful for you and your work ..Kindly please share about Someone can keep their life private but not a secret
I salute you for the wise words.
Needed this!!!!
Stop and block them? How to make sure they won't spill it anywhere? Do i need to flatter them so that they don't expose it to anybody? The person i overshared was a Narcissist, I don't want to remain friends with such a person but, if I suddenly cut him off, he may spill my secrets. What to do in such situations? It's like getting indirect threats by someone, as if he is saying 'keep getting bullied by me or I will tell your secrets to everyone'.
Wow ,this video is the best video I have watched this week. Lucy thank you so much.
Hi can you do one on why one is loud and wants to share everything that crosses their heads even unnecessary topics
You are right Lucy girl, love your content love u❤️💕💯
Thank you ma'am... it came at the right time
I tend to over share I feel mostly I do it to help people by telling ‘my story’ but then I overstate for no reason 😂 Thanks Lucy x
Thanks love, this is impactful!..
Thank you for sharing this video !
Thank you so much for this reminder ❤
Hey Big sister Lucy, I need a little advice on this…
As a content creator, I’m in a constant struggle on what to put out here and what not to share.
On the other hand,as an individual I’m even considered very secretive because I hardly share.
How do I navigate this or put a balance on the two?
First time commenting,you are good at what you do🎉
5:49 now I guess my own Oversharing it’s quite different from this
You really are beauty and brains
Lord have mercy. Thank you for this, haha!
Thank you for sharing Lucy, I also realised it’s very important to be kind to yourself as you grow on this journey and not be to hard on yourself, You are not the woman you were and now you know better and thank you for reminding us that mistakes happen 🤍 Also over sharing does put you in a position where you may start telling lies ladies!!😅
This must be my next step because I'm not sure why it even came up as suggested. I realize I over share. I know I need to stfu. I believe it's validation, self esteem, and lack. I struggle in these areas.
How about coming from a family that overshares and being a person who doesn't know how to deal with silence
Lucy! I love your hair omg
You are beautiful Lucy 😊
Thank you Lucy💕
My reason is to vent but it has resulted in people judging me
Thank you for this because I do this way too much!! I haven’t watched finished watching all the videos but one thing I’ve learned is that oversharing , especially with people who aren’t close to you, fosters a false sense of closeness/ security. If you have triggers like abandonment, fearful attachment styles etc you may overshare🥲
Do you have a podcast on spotify?
Coming back to watch
Makes a whole lot of sense
You're intelligent ❤❤
Thanks Lucy
God bless you Lucy
Good video 👍🏽👏🏽
I’ve learned you can’t do that and even parents and family and close friends will use it in someway to demonize you or betray you.
I had a so called aunt do that to me in my mid 20s and she tried to ruin my relationship with my mother some people you cannot trust
Very educative
This hit hard
Thanks ma'am
2:45 yes a place of sadness actually
And a place of I have no one to communicate
When I’m angry I just have to rant tbh
Thought about this today
After you've shared and how you know you've gained back that mystery & privacy is when people start poking and proding into your business by asking questions or making opened-ended comments to bait you to respond. I just laugh things off and make a relevant joke. Example: change in work schedule and people asking why I switched things up. Answer: it's to stalk you every other weekend.😅😂
So they still violate. They don't accept NO. Nobody understands what boundaries are until it happens to them. It's a big criminal enterprise with a big pay out.
@@Erica-cf1xb Yup. You are right! Lol, but that's why I still have my own personal policies a.k.a. boundaries and enforce them. If I don't respect my boundaries, who else will. It's ongoing because you can't get away from people. So I stay ready and hit them with a bit of scripture to boot.
Very apt👏🏽