As an autistic woman, I can confidently say that female friend groups are the bane of my existence. Making this worse? I'm a lesbian. I'm thankful to have just celebrated my 10th anniversary. But finding the right person took a long time. And then we just happened to learn she's ADHD and I'm autistic. So, turns out the reason we understand each other's needs is because we share many of the same issues.
ohh I feel for you because girls are so intimidating too 😂 Sooo glad you found your person! When I think about it now, pretty much my only successful female friendships have been with neurodiverse women!
I got tested because all my gal pals got ADHD Diagnosis. And I'm omniamorus so dating women never went well. Their insecurities And girl groups opinions of me meant I was not welcome long. But wouldn't realize it till I spent a year as the butt of a group joke.
3 out of 4 of my best friends are autistic, and I befriended every single one of them by repeatedly sitting down next to them and just talking 😂 My adhd ass decided they have friend shaped vibes and I'm perfectly capable of filling days and weeks worth of conversation with random anecdotes and infodumps until they became comfortable enough to share about themselves or bring up topics. I never even realized until recently one of them went "How would I even make friends as adults" and I was like "?? You became friends with me when we were adults??" and they went all "that's on you tho, you just kept coming to me with whatever absurd stuff happened that week and were fine with me contributing only sarcastic jokes" So... that's apparently what worked for us, maybe it's useful for someone else?
I met my friends online and one just asked me to be her friend and then I just followed this one person around because I learnt she liked percy jackson and she just siad she was my friend one day and pretty much the same happened with another but she asked for my number which i was scared too do cuz of coming of the wrong way cuz im bi and the other two were when I was like 4 and 5 and we were both outcasts so we just became friends and yes i have proven her point of over shareing ugh
The not fitting in with female friend groups thing makes me think of all the horrible experiences I’ve had at people’s baby showers. Baby showers where husbands and children are not allowed can be so awkward and just a real nightmare.
And maybe dogs too while we’re at it lol. Dogs help so much with social situations, when I’m maxed out with people I can just interact with the nearest animal lol 😆
Yes, tbh I'm glad to have found this video because although I am not diagnosed with autism, as a kid I had symptoms and having no friends at all was spot on, especially with other girls my age who viewed me as a non feminine girl
Funnily I find female friendships a lot easier to navigate than interactions with boys. The girls I tend to be friends with are mostly introverted and we usually bond over shared interests (books and academia). As someone who talks a lot and has trouble understanding what people mean or feel, when they don't put it in words and explain their feelings, talking to boys at least while I was a teenager or even in Uni tended/tends to go over my head. Their conversations seem to happen a lot less verbal or at least less words are exchanged. Jokes are more common than genuine heart to heart conversations, especially about emotions and feelings. That's not to say this doesn't happen or that I haven't met boys where we had great conversations, just that in my experience I tended to feel lost and unsure of what they were meaning when interacting with a group of boys (groups are always worse than one on one conversations).
That's so interesting!! Thank you for sharing! I do like a good heart-to-heart, so I can see what you mean. I have had positive experiences being friends with neurodiverse girls, for sure.
i get wut u mean, for me it was the opposite. ive only recently gotten decent at heart to hearts(outside of me bein blunt to ppl lmao) so jokes and memes and shit were my go to to bondin w others, so i had more long lastin friendships w guys more than girls
I suppose it depends how you want to connect with people... If emotions are important for your understanding of them, then men might be more difficult to read, but if you want to move past the complications that emotions cause in social interactions, guys will normally push that to the side for the most part and tend to be less bothered... Not that we don't still deal with emotional issues and such, but we're probably often more interested in discussing interests with other people or whatever... Although, maybe that's just my interpretation... But yeah, when men do get into emotions, I think they tend to be more straightforward and to the point about things too, which might seem like lack of detail, but potentially is also easier to digest and work out... I can see how this could go both ways when trying to navigate these things.
It's the same with me!!! I mean... the majority of my female friends were neurodivergent, and we would often write stories together, we liked anime, and we'd play different kinds of video games from boys. Like, we loved sitting around talking about the deep psychology of horror games while the boys were like .... shooting each other. My afab friends liked the same bands and art and stuff. Talking to boys felt foreign. And I felt like you can't be as honest or complimentary. I'd always tell my afab friends how much I loved them, how awesome they were, easily complimenting other women's hair or something .... And guys kind of make me a manic pixie dream girl, too. So it's just.... I struggle.
Every time I think "nah, I'm probably not autistic" I see something like that "sorry, I was trying to figure out how a normal person would respond and gave up" and it's one of the most relatable things I've ever seen, and then I'm confused again ...still don't know if I am autistic or not, but some autistic traits are just super relatable...
Autistic traits are completely normal human traits. It is the combination and the extend that it affects your everyday life that makes it diagnosable. Also, memes tend to show the most relatable experiences, so just being able to relate to some memes doesn't automatically mean you are autistic
I'm in the same boat, I mostly think I don't have enough traits for an official Dx, but then there's times where I wonder based on how much I relate to some of it. I even got mistaken by an acquaintance for having Aspbergers (back before they dropped that name), but I have ADHD-PI so they were probably just unaware of how much ADHD & ASD overlap. Idek. 😅🙃🫠
0:57 i once became the head of the group in the uni TOTALLY AGAINST MY WILL - the story is: our group was the last one to choose the leader, so the dude from the office came after classes, brought us all together and made us play a team-building game: to hold hands is a circle, close our eyes and make a triangle while he would look and pick the most active once. After about 15 minets of being yanked in random directions by people i barely knew while enduring constant yelling and total darkness i gave up and screamed smth like “OKAY WHO THE HELL IS THE CORNER?! STAND STILL FOR GOD’S SAKE!” and that’s how i became the head of the group. I was terrible at the job.
@6:50 This is playing off of the saying "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." But this person is saying "you've seen this side of me, thought it was my worst, but you're wrong and that's going to be an unpleasant surprised for you because it will definitely get worse." I giggled, and can definitely relate - I wouldn't take offense at it, I read it as more of like, people aren't always on the same page about things and often autistic/ND traits get read by NT people as "oh that's weird/awkward/bad" when it's just... who we are. In other words, if you meet me and think that my day to day autistic awkwardness is me at "my worst," you're going to be surprised when I actually have a bad day. Hope that made sense. :) Thanks for sharing, this was fun. ^^ I enjoy meme reactions, it's always great to see other perspectives. And I can completely relate on the notifications thing. >.> You CAN turn off the "second notification" for texts on iphone. Go to settings -> Notifications -> scroll down in the list of apps to "messages" -> Customize Notifications -> Repeat Alerts -> select "never" (or whatever you want to change it to).
Ahaha! Yesss, I like that explanation! I think I just wanted an excuse to bully my husband 😅 You know as soon as I started editing the part where I was kicking off about notifications I thought...I bet there's an easy way to change that!! Thank you - I'll do that now!!
@@imautisticnowwhat My phone is just permanently on Do Not Disturb 😅 I get back to people when I get back to them unless it's absolutely necessary to have notifications on, lol.
Hadn't heard the term "peer diagnosis", but totally understand the concept! Thoroughly enjoyed this video (Australian, diagnosed in my 50s -- just ASD, not ADHD)
I literally met my best friend because he was sitting alone and I pretty much just started talking to him coming up on nearly a decade of friendship now :) I've made a lot of friends like that. He'd been told not to talk to me by the other kids because I was the "weird" kid, pretty much the only neurodivergent kid in my entire school to my knowledge. But when we started talking it was just one of those sorta *click* moments where we got along almost right away.
That's so lovely!! I had a similar experience when I first spoke to my husband - I just felt so comfortable, which is unusual for me, particularly with someone who isn't neurodivergent.
@@imautisticnowwhat Me and him had a lot of similar interests from videogames. I actually am the person who sparked his fascination for science, back when we were little he didn't care for it almost at all. He pretty much only knew the stuff they taught at school which in like elementary and middle school isn't all that impressive. So I showed him videos from all sorts of science creators on RUclips, and we had even more of a shared interest after that. Unfortunately I'm moving away soon but I'm showing him ways to use different be our platforms so that we can still keep in contact.
I really relate to the texting thing. I hate calls and I hate long texts…. In-person communication with the right person is okay, but if it gets too crowded, loud, bright, hot or stuffy, etc; I will retreat into my shell and stop communicating all together.
Calls is the worst. I much rather text. With text I can use many words to try conveying my intent without interruption. People get walls of text from me. But in person communication is the best. Body language does so much for people to understand me.
My parents tell me I’m too smart to be Autistic but I completely relate better to my diagnosed Autistic friends, who also say I am most likely Autistic and should get a diagnose it. I get made fun of by my parents for my stims, special interests, and the way I act. I love your channel! Just found it and subscribed very quickly in!!
Asperger’s does exist (think it’s called high functioning autism in some places or maybe that’s different?) try to get diagnosed and stand up to your parents if possible they don’t sound like the nicest
I'm sorry your parents make fun of you, they're doing poor parenting in that regard. It's not their place to make fun of their children for any reason. Autistics can be very intelligent, that statement is just ignorant.
One of the smartest people I know is autistic. Truly. Trust me, intelligence is /not/ determined by how neurotypical you are-twice-exceptional people exist. You can look it up, but it basically means that you're at two extremes, brain functioning wise. In my case, I'm in the 10th percentile for brain processing speed (i.e. I'm /incredibly/ slow and my working memory's not the best), but I'm in the /95th/ percentile for general ability (i.e. I am far from stupid). Getting a diagnosis doesn't change who you are, but it might help you better understand it. I wish you the best of luck, internet stranger :)
That doesn't make sense. Autistic persons are commonly pretty intelligent. Hope you can gather a family of friends around you. You don't need them if they treat you like that. ❤
4:12 I was at a wedding reception once, trotting ang giggling about with the bride: my bestie. We went on to talk with her family members, when one of them asked me "why are you so positively fucked up?" "It do be autism" - I replied. Surprisingly, the person just said "ah I get it!" and we went on with the convo normally, I will cherish that moment forever
I love this so much. my mom is not very chatty, so she is constantly telling me in the nicest way possible to shut up. So sometimes I think I have to be quiet or someone is going to hate me. But seeing you talk at the end, no cutting around it, or anything. You just being you and talking without apologizing makes me so so happy. I hope one day I can do that.
I was diagnosed off the autism spectrum when I was younger, (I had PDD-NOS) but I still display some autistic traits. I always feel self-conscious about how I act in public, and at least I have some reason to see why my brain works this way. These were also surprisingly relatable. Thanks for the great video!
2:50 - I literally did this in college. I don't know what posessed me to, aside from the fact that we were the only girls in the computing/programming course. After about a week, I just went 'hey you, we have some classes together. You don't seem to hang around anyone, come with me to my Nans for lunch!' literally, my grandmothers house is at the end of the street only a 2 minute walk from where the college was, and we were inseparable for that time. I -NEVER- did anything else like this.
That's how I came by my best friend in high school I was kinda an outcast and only really spoke to the teacher or when I got made leader in groups, the class was new (but I knew most people) and she was the new border so I kinda just sat next to her and we started talking about school/ I helped her in lessons bc she was a boarder from abroad who didnt speak the language well enough yet/ in her country they just taught a lot of stuff veery different or not at all (China vs Western european country). All my other friends (I got a whole 3 friends nowadays 🥳) kinda just collected me (or took pity on me well never know) or we shared a flat for a year and helped each other out. All 3 of them are perfectly fine with my fact rants and months of no contact and restrictions on what we do together when we meet each other (clubs or definitly off limits) so I'd say I got really lucky there. None of them know each other as all 3 live in different countries and I met them at completly different life stages.
I’m 68 and undiagnosed, though I scored very high on the online tests. During the long lockdown I didn’t have to mask (not that I had known that I had been). Now my mask has crumbled from disuse. The past year and a half was spent taking care of my dying younger brother (he died in September). That stress shredded what was left of my residual masking ability. Learning more about what it means to be on the spectrum via RUclips and books and my neurodivergant friends it certainly explains al lot about my life. Diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, IBS. When I told my Primary Care Dr. about an episode I’d had (had never heard of a meltdown before now), I was referred to a shrink who said I was bipolar. I was allergic to the medicine. So I quit taking it. Surprise: not bipolar! I fired her. Now I know what it was. I hope to get a diagnosis sometime, but at my age, what good is it?
You'll probably find the autistic community very open to self-diagnosis. There really isn't a cure for autism (and most of us dont want one anyways), so a professional diagnosis doesnt do anything for adults. All you do is start being more self-aware and and learning how to take care of yourself better. For some, having therapy that is geared towards autism acceptance can be helpful, but others aren't too into it. At the end of the day, do what makes you and those around you happy.
I'd say it gives you clarity. My (non-identical) twin sons were always so very different with one struggling so much more in life (from riding bikes and drawing/writing to making friends and many other issues), so he was in constant medical care (physical therapy, occupational therapy, in and out of psych ward) without anybody pinpointing in the right direction, that when he finally got his diagnosis at the age of 13, it was such a relief for him and us as his family. And for me as a NT with strong autistic traits, it helped me to come to terms with myself.
I’m not sure about the numbers, but many AFABs who go to psychs tend to first be diagnosed as bipolar because the masking and the alternative personalities are so similar in AFABs. Then again, there’s a running joke that bipolar is the diagnosis women get when they don’t get along with their psychologist.
If you are pretty certain you have it from your research, you probably do. A formal diagnosis might help if required for accomodations or something, but nonetheless it's worth researching on your own to find the things that might better help you navigate your life more comfortably and effectively. As someone who discovered recently and far into life (pushing 40), I cannot express how good it's been finding out what's going on with me and being able to make adjustments to my life accordingly. I wish you all the best with your journey.
I hear you about the crumbling mask due to COVID isolation (just me, my autistic husband and our three animals, yes please). Now I'm trying to figure out if I need the mask, can I rebuild the elements of the mask that protect me? I'm also wondering about the need for a diagnosis, it seems like this community doesn't need me to get an official label and that's pretty darn comforting. Good luck in whatever you decide!
Funnily enough, I've always found it easier to deal with girls because they seem more genuine when they talk, or maybe I just feel a bit safer. When I talk to guys it's like I'm prepared to run away, re-enforce boundaries, or friend-zone at any moment (can you tell where my anxiety is centered?). Although, I have been told that my schools have always been much less focused on popularity than is common.
That whole diagnosing my friends.. it's crazy. The more I learn the more I wonder if I actually know a single neurotypical person... Like seriously tho...
Tbh it takes a special type of neurotypical person to be a healthy person for me to be around. I had a lot of luck, and I have also grown as person, but there are always be neurotypical ppl who are like poison to me to be around. They are not intentionally bad or even objectively bad, for me thou they are. Like ppl who keep labeling my natural ADHD traits as rude, impolite, mean etc. Who keep trying to control and change my every expresion be it verbal or behavioural. There are definitelly things I need to work on but for F sake let me exists. Literally, thats it.
Could be selection bias. If either you avoid neurotypical people or neurotypical people avoid you then your friend group probably won't have very many neurotypical people.
@@garethbaus5471 I don't doubt this is a big part of it. I was not necessarily meaning this comment to be taken literally, it was just a funny observation about my life and social circle.
I am that autistic friend who inadvertently diagnosed their friends as neurodivergant but two of them have since gotten officially diagnosed as autistic so... Neurodivergant people just have a certain energy that only other neurodivergant people can match so if we vibe a little too well then surprise! You're probably neurodivergant too! Congrats 🥳
You know what, I've recently discovered that it's incredibly possible I'm Autistic, and that meme talking about how you're introverted but somehow end up taking control of everything has never made me feel more understood ahhh! Because I've never got that, it confused me so much how I'd wait until the entire class had paired up and have to go to the teacher and ask her to forcibly shove me into a group that didn't want me, but then I'd end up being the one doing the whole project because everyone else would probably do it wrong~ makes sense now
How is the end of the video where you're ranting about notifications the most relatable thing for me! I switched to Android because I was able to find a phone I liked that had a headphone jack (huge sticking point for me. I'm not an audiophile but I have *standards* dammit.) and it annoys the hell out of me that apps don't ask me if I want notifications, they just assume I want them. I have ADHD, I'm not autistic but my aunt thought I was. I got my diagnosis too shortly before she died to tell her how close she was. Most of my friends are ADHD, Autistic, or Both. It's funny how it just seems to work out that I just seem to gravitate toward them. Almost like I find it hard to get along with people, and they do for similar reasons.
In high school, I, myself, used the tactic of oscillating between incredibly quiet when by myself to pretty boisterous when with friends. Of course, most people only saw me when I was quiet, and my special interests in "writing" and "learning and making languages" made it so I spent every lunch period just quietly scribbling in a journal in a language literally nobody but me could understand. I got compared to the Zodiac Killer more than once
Being the only autistic girl in a female friend group was a bit of a mixed bag. On the one hand I believe with all my heart that I had the best luck when it came to my high school friend group and that they were generally very supportive. But on the other hand I could definitely see the cattiness, words being spoken behind another girls back, the general unpredictability of everyone’s emotions really got to me at some points. What was even weirder for me was how easy I found it to come out as bisexual to my friends and yet the very thought of telling them I am autistic would nearly have me going through an anxiety induced panic attack. But its only been in recent years after we all graduated and went off in different directions in life do I see their progress whenever we get the chance to meet up. Literally the beginning of this year I found out that not only were my high school friends were some form of queer and also were neurodivergent and that made it a lot easier to tell them I was autistic.
If you enjoyed this reaction video, you may like the one where I react to Jubilee's Who Does NOT Have Autism video... Major plot twist!: ruclips.net/video/dn9_fKFmbHw/видео.html And more memes here: ruclips.net/video/r8G00JJWdd4/видео.html
As a fellow autistic woman, you have a new subscriber! And I agree on the whole friend group thing. Due to my autism and some childhood trauma sprinkled on top, I tend to prefer guy friends and shy away from girl friends unless I get immediate friend shaped vibes from them. I discovered 3 months ago that one of my closest female friends is autistic and was diagnosed recently so she's discovering how much more we have in common from our childhoods. I was diagnosed in my childhood unlike her, so between me and her husband, we encouraged her to seek a diagnosis Edit: most of my friends I meet at comicons by essentially prepping myself for hours to get out and simply talk to people (Cosplay really helps my confidence) and others from online video games
Male high schooler here, subscribed instantly. I'm already in love with your content upon first encounter. While I am not completely familiar/understood on the topic of autism, I relate to a lot of these memes, especially during my darkest period the past several years. Got along better with girls than boys my age, possessed a vastly different mindset towards life compared to my classmates, doubted my gender due to having been a bully victim, struggled a lot to make new friends and fit in my classes, and too many more to bring up... My best and only female friend is autistic, and we've been very close friends for a few years till now despite now going to separate schools. Because our friendship is exactly how I envision the type of friendship that suits me the most. And, I'm not entirely on the autism spectrum, but my diagnosis has revealed that I tend to possess multiple traits. But honestly, what matters to me the most, is why can't people just look past our significant differences, accept each other as we are and get along...
My daughter, who also has ASD, has made most of her friends by the "will you be my friend?" method you mentioned. I've struggled my whole life and the 9-year-old has it down better than me!
Omg that’s right! I don’t trust my self in leadership roles but I find myself in them a lot. 7:17 is a funny take on Marylin Monroe’s quote “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve my best.” In her case it’s a slap at fair weathered friends. In the other quote it’s “if you think that’s bad, you anit seen nothing yet.”
my advice to make friends if youre still in school is to join theater. even if you can't act or something, its not hard to get onto crew. from there, make friends with a few people to the point where you can sit with them at lunch and meet the rest of their friends. boom, 10 new friends and you only had to meet 1 or 2 people on your own. people in theater are super accepting at least most of the time and i find it really fun on its own
I always felt like a traitor to my own labeling women as evil! You nailed it though on the females friends thing! It's not everyone but it damn feels like most of them. They are too complicated and two faced. I learned to keep away quickly.
I feel like a traitor too, but I agree most women these days are two faced and complicated these days like you said. I don't even trust my mom and some of my partner's female family members much. I acknowledge they are going through a lot of crap at the moment, but they keep doing it to themselves and won't take any advice on board. So, we just try to avoid them for the meantime. My partner warned they can have a nasty side to them when you disagree with something or try to give them helpful advice. My mom can have a very nasty streak to her if you disagree with her about anything. I upset and angered her when I gave her advice to stop messaging her ex boyfriend and to stop shit talking about him to his own family. I understand she's very hurt, but she's not the only out there who has experienced simliar. I for one been through some hell with my last ex, but she doesn't want to hear anyone's relationship experiences, only if it benefits her. My sister has warned me that mom tends to talk nasty about me infront of her and (after mom and I have disagreement) to her friends sometimes. God, all I want to do is try to help my mom because I care about her! Wtf did I do wrong?
In my experience, the non-autistic women are two-faced and the men that I so-far have encountered are all pigs. So I have to ask myself, do I want to sit with people that pretend to like me, while they clearly don't? But we are all pretending we have a nice time? OR do I want to sit with a bunch of men that will tell me to shut up, that I am uneffeble, that cheer on violence and r@pe on television and will then vent their anger on eachother/me and (for some reason) always end with drunk farting and vomiting and comparing their biggest poop? I mean, I usually settle for one hour of ladiestime and then I am gone, home, to sit on my own. Or autilady time. That is better.
all so relatable...and for me, female friendships always had that weird air of...fakeness i guess? i dont understand it either but i relate, cant fully relate to not telling people about my autism tho, i just blurt that shit out without thinking XD
The complimentary autism diagnosis is so funny because when I stared to go deep into the autism special interest hole, I gave my close friends the tests to compare and like, yES there's also this girl I started to talk to lately from my class, we were talking about some things that we love and I was like "lmao no neurotypical person likes things THIS MUCH" and then she mentioned that she did autism test and we climbed on the oversharing train to talk about neurodivergency, very nice girl
WOW. I think you are an extroverted version of myself! I knew I had adhd but I might be autistic too 😆 When you talk about our brains just being different, it's exactly like I feel. I have a spectrum in my head about how everyone works, but it's hard to explain in words. And thank you for all the laughs, I needed that today 😄 Love love love you!!
I am on the spectrum. I am good with small chit chat with strangers but once I'm in a team environment, I'm apparently rude and disrespectful. When this is brought to my attention, I bring cookies to work the following day with a poem that is an apology and explanation of my autism.
@@Laura-gb1jv it was something I made up. I forgot what I exactly said. It fit on a notecard that I taped to the cookie containers. Every last word of each line had an artistic detail (like "cookie" was blue n fuzzy with crooked black dots in the o's). One line said "im actually soft and sweet, much like these cookies". "I appreciate your patience for I have AUTISM" (each letter a different color on that word).
I can relate to you in every way, and watching this lets me know that there are actually others like me, with the same experiences. In a way, it's calming.
Hi! "This is the first day of the rest of your life" made me cry. I'm an almost 54 year-old female and found out a few weeks ago I'm in an autistic burnout. I' ve been diagnosed with depression a few years ago but I felt different this time. I did online research and came across autism. It all makes sense now. I' m so happy I found out but very sad at the same time being relatively old. I' m planning to get diagnosed although I've hardly ever been that sure about anything. Thank you so much for your content, it helps me sooo much. Greetings from Germany ❤
my autistic method of making friends was waiting for an extroverted "weirdo/outcast" to adopt me. so far i've been succesfully adopted twice. the rest of them turned out to be bad people taking advantage of me (i said it was a method, not "the best" method lol)
Oh gosh that texting thing, especially in a group chat, if you start writing a message, then you rethink but you already had that "typing" animation seen by others, then you edit and edit, then you decide it was a bad idea to say and you can't just say anything short like "Yup" as it's already been a minute of writing and you panic and you try to come up with just anything a bit longer and your brain locks up and it is just spiralling out of control.
ADHD here. Definitely vibe with so much of this but especially the female friend group thing. When I learned to knit it got a little easier but most of those women are "surface friends" because we have an overlapping hobby. I've just always gotten along easier with men. I've been told I'm "not threatening" amongst other things but mostly that its "cool to have a female friend you can just hang out with" and I think that's because I suck at flirting? I just try to treat everyone with kindness. The problem is, girls always think I'm flirting.. so I've always managed to send the wrong signals to lesbians accidentally or come off as a homewrecker without even trying. Is it wrong to be female and say that females are weird and really confusing? Why does being nice have to be flirting?
Maybe it's because of what they think your sexuality is? If your female friends notice there's something different about you but don't know exactly what it is, they might automatically assume you're a lesbian, and therefore be more likely to interpret your actions as flirting. Bear in mind, though, that I am Autistic myself, so my observations about how normal people work might not necessarily be accurate.
@@machinedramon3532 maybe, except the women who’ve gotten mad at me, did so for being friendly/comfortable around their male spouse. I suspect conditioned insecurities are at play? I’ve been treated by females this way, in front of MY male partner (whichever one it was at the time), who didn’t have any issues. I tend to nerd out when I find someone with a shared interest or hobby… video games (not just cozy ones), MTG, puzzles, reading, math, history, art… how those are all related… and now looking at the list, the list definitely skews masculine dominated. I even purposefully got into makeup to have more in common with more females… plus it’s fun to do art on a person instead of doing art of a person. I definitely feel like I don’t have to have a facade around guys and they definitely encourage me, just being me. Single guy friends always say, “it feels so great having a female friend not trying to hook up with me” *and they’ve said this, even when I’ve been very much single* but partnered or married cishet male friends often cut contact or their partners do it for them or it’s very clear they merely tolerate my presence or worse, the guy lies about my presence. It’s a hella awkward situation to be in and explain… And I analyze it a lot and always hesitate explaining it to others because I know it sounds so weird. Plus I’m always told, “you MUST be flirting” and I definitely am not… unless I’m also flirting with my cishet female friends and LGBTQ spectrum of friends… which also, I’m not. This is a common problem in my family tho. Accused of flirting when we’re just being nice/friendly/outgoing. Im just gonna roll with the belief that ppl are insecure, unhappy, and hella projecting.
@@Chaotic_Pixie It's allllll about insecurities. Social norms have always baffled me, to the point that I've developed a special interest in psychology. It seems to me that the insecure people who anchor their self-worth on being good to others are the ones who are bothered the most by kindness. To them, it's like you're turning up the difficulty. Cause they compare themselves to you and don't like how it looks, and lack the self-awareness to realize they don't need to always be the best at everything to be a good person. So when people call you arrogant, full of yourself, a kiss ass, or any other negative thing when you're just being kind for the sake of it, you can usually be sure that they're projecting the shame they feel onto you. Hope this helps :)
Im a diagnosed autistic woman, and i 100% relate to the struggles of female socializing and female friend groups (worst is at the workplace! Ive given up on that 😂)
As an autistic person myself, I typically like texting. It's nice as long as you know you don't need to worry about how long it takes to type it all out. It's super nice when it's with people who don't mind long paragraphs and who understand how you communicate.
I relate to almost all of these, but I'm not formally diagnosed. The strategies for ADHD and autism work for me, soooo..... I don't know what to think. But this viddeo was hysterical. Instant sub!
auDHD nonbinary here, omg you have me cackling by myself, like the presentation of these memes and your editing are perfect and it feels like you are perfectly describing my inside brain experience with the edits lololol superb job ♡♡
I had to pause the video for the ADHD Panik part so I could find it and send it to my husband rtfn. The one where she's out, and desperately wants to be home is one I can relate to a little too hard also. These were hilarious. I've seen a few of these before, but most were new to me.
LOL, I"ve noticed that I seem to have sort of an inverted stress curve. Things that shouldn't reasonably be stressful or scary are, but the moment my life is on the line, I'm just like super, super chill.
I related so hard to the calm in emergencies (which I thought was a trauma thing) and the replying to texts thing. I struggle so hard to text people sometimes. 😐
that "sorry, I didn't respond to your text"-meme hit me. Like brick. Very slow. And I just saved it on my computer. thank you (and your husband for finding it^^)
I have notifications on for emails cause they might be important (usually aren't though and I hate it), messages from family in case of emergencies (they don't abuse the privilege), my closest friends because I actually want to hear from them regularly, and exactly one friend on Twitter who I absolutely adore. They are the only person I can get a notification from and actually feel nothing but excitement every time.
I happened across your video on # reasons you are probably not autistic and it has really helped me understand that I very well may be. You have been a great help in my neurodivergent journey and I do enjoy your face and will keep watching to learn more. Thank you for sharing your story!
one comment about awareness, at 5:00 the thing is, people think our actions during meltdowns are directed at them (like a bar fight), However, we need to explain to them, IT IS NOT YOU WE ARE DIRECTING OUR ANGER/FRUSTRATION AT, IT IS THE SITUATION ITSELF, once they understand that, THEN people are aware, accepting, and understanding.
Not diagnosed, binging tests and RUclips for almost a year now, going from sobbing “I know now” to “You don’t have the expertise to diagnose yourself, shut up and get over it” - then seeing you talk about female friend groups… Another pleasant, teary “I know now” moment. 😄 HOW! do they do it? Too much not being said! Men just grunting at each other when mad is my pleasant resting place.
0:20 Just for saying, this is EXACTLY my humor 😂 I really like stating obvious facts that no NT even thinks of and watch the other get upset about it. For example, I am living in Germany, and whenever someone asked "Where is XY?", especially in Minecraft where we constantly had to find each other, I always said "in Germany" or "on Earth". Also, when I was little, whenever I was speaking to my sister about my mom, I always said "my mom - and YOUR mom - said ....." And she didn't really find it funny because how obvious that fact is, but I was truly laughing my @$$ off. Eventually, I kinda stopped with those dumb jokes because yeah, masking, but maybe I'll start again lmao
😂 about the double text notifications! I find myself leaving my phone on silent most of the time because people ringing out of the blue is even worse! And no, no notifications on my phone. Crikey what with every appliance in the world beeping and buzzing and dinging at every moment the last thing I need is more beeps, dings and buzzes! 😂
Silent mode is the best. Just because I have a mobile phone doesn't mean it's on me all the time nor even that I want to answer it. My friends and family often have a crack at me for not answering and I typically respond with something like "How on earth did you get by before mobile phones? People had landlines and weren't even home half the time!"
5:43 Literally my diagnosed autistic friend says every single day that they're diagnosing me since I'm too scared to ask my parents for a diagnosis lmao
Related SO much to your comments about female friendships! I realized just now why I get along better (in general) with men: they tend to be more direct, and they mean what they say. I do NOT understand subtlety. Irony is? I'm bisexual. I have been in love with a woman and with a man (who I eventually married). The woman (as well as my husband) had the qualities I most value: directness, logic, no bullsh***ng. Wow. I never thought about it in this way, until I saw this video. Thank you so much! Subscribed a while back; just call me an old (62) woman who didn't realize she was ASD and ADHD until seeing a video on RUclips 2 years ago. Self-diagnosed for now (American heath care system very expensive, and I've been medically gaslighted so much I no longer trust it). I love your videos, thank you so much for what you do!
I’ve had the same friend group for years and 4/4 are bisexual, 4/4 are mentally ill and 2/4 have ADHD (one says she’d rather live in ignorant bliss and the other is afraid of booking appointment) we didn’t know any of this before we became friends so it’s kinda funny that we all turned out to share these similarities. We have a sixth sense or smth
I'm glad you understand the need to NOT have notifications on. I can't rest when I'm constantly being prompted to *engage!* I engaged enough! I already did! All done, no more! shush!
I got diagnosed with ADHD last year and I can especially relate to the last one! I was always the odd one out in my female friends group and when I finally changed school when I was 16 my new friends were either not straight or somehow special" (most of them aren't diagnosed but I think some have autism or adhd haha) and I felt so much better! It was okay to be load and "quirky". I often don't text back because I don't know how to react "normal" and I either give up or forget about the message... :')
Related very much to the one with not responding to text and in the end just giving up... and the awkwardness later when i am about to meet or call someone that i did not respond and i know i will have to explain myself somehow.
I related to every word of this, and my friend absolutely diagnosed me after he was diagnosed. It was such a relief! I felt like Gonzo from The Muppets finally meeting his alien family (Muppets from Space is a highly underrated movie).
at 4:03 this is slightly incorrect, the idea is that we do panic a lot (sensory input overload), BUT, due to our 'logical' aproach to things, in Emergencies, we STOP, BREATHE, THINK, and act logically, and safely, analysing all the consequences of a choice, to make the best outcome.
I have major ADHD, and the meme at 3:34 got me laughing at 9 at night. Also I didn't know that people could relate to this, but I find it difficult to fit into female friend groups as well. I'm just not as comfortable and I don't trust them as much and can't relate to them or the way they think. It's really great to know that people can relate to that though and that it's not just me letting my past trauma separate me from everyone I love because I'm being too "dramatic".
I think the meme you were offended by meant like what a neuro-atypical "good mood" is not the same as a neuro-typical "good mood" is. Like good mood for NA ppl might be like sitting quietly in the corner with a neutral or maybe to some a RBF on staring into space while their brain is concocting the most vibrant, vivid world of magic and wonder and they can just sit there and daydream like that for hours in complete bliss but to a NT person watching them they might think they're concocting a list of ppl they want to kill because they're not betraying their inner most thoughts on their face and even if they start interacting with them, they'll still be outwardly neutral but on the inside they're at my their most peaceful and blissful state until they say s*it like cheer up or smile or some other appeal to normalcy that boils their blood so they end up exploding at them and they think it was because they were already pissed off but it was actually them that triggered them so now they're alienating people over stupid misunderstandings rather than people appreciating other peoples' differences. And in another scenario where the NA person seems like they're having the time of their lives while socialising, and the NT person not realising that it's just a ticking time bomb until they crash and have to hibernate for a month before they feel safe to socialise again because that 1 event depleted them so much and they seem surprised by the sudden mood change when it's just chemicals running out and them needing time to replenish them. Like they'd be great at the party then on the ride home they're all gloomy and the driver or passenger in the car wanting to make small talk gets offended because they think they did something wrong to make their mood darken but no matter how much it's explained to them they just don't get it and the more they try to cajole them the more pissed off they get, ending a great day into a pointless argument.
Forgive me for being off-topic Meg but I think you might just be the most adorable human being ever. You win RUclips. Please keep making videos forever.
I had a good laugh about the one convincing yourself to leave the house, and instantly regretting it! There are certain people in my life who can exhaust me within 5 minutes of talking to them, one of which is my mother-in-law. 😬So while I might look forward to going to a family event or dinner, sometimes it really does turn into, "I've been here for 5 minutes and I already want to go home. This is too much!"
The one about peer diagnosis is so true. I just started working at a new job about a month ago, and I've been talking to this lady and today I actually had a conversation with her son (around my age) who also worked there and after my shift I connected some dots from conversation between the both of them and I'm like 90% sure they both have ADHD or autism (I have both). I do think it's more likely ADHD tho, the son seems to have the hyperactivity bit, and the mom not so much but like it's still kinda there esp with how well we get on.
I don't have an official diagnosis, but I self identify autistic. Interestingly enough, I have had similar experiences with groups of only guys. To be fair, I've never really had a very strong gender identity, but especially as a kid, whenever I would try to hang out with groups of guys, I always felt like they were "getting" something about each other that I just wasn't. Like it seemed like they were all just able to relate to each other on the basis of being guys and being able to bond over "guy" things, and I just never really connected with that. I'm not really sure if that's a common experience for autistic men/nonbinary people but I thought I would share.
I'm not formally diagnosed with autism but a therapist recently asked me if I have considered being screened for autism. This felt so validating because I had been suspecting that I'm autistic for so long. My friends are also majorly neurodiverse and the friends I've had that are neurotypical don't stay my friends very long. I have been diagnosed with ADHD but that was at a time when people were rarely diagnosed with both ADHD and autism. I also think a doctor may have suggested to my mom for screening me for autism when I was a child, and she refused. She's very ableist btw
Only 4 people in my world know I have autism. Acting normally, not being awkward, and attempting not to do strange movements are often some things I try to do. It's tiring. I kind of feel like I shouldn't have to feel so much pressure to be "normal". When I watch these videos it makes me much happier.
I believe in emergency situations like fires and stuff it's that most people would fall back into autopilot or primal instincts, but me being an autistic dude basically autopilot the greater part of social gatherings already on the regular so I beat everyone with experience and look super calm and collected :') I mean if you think about it a fire is just normal life with more fire. The main difference is that with the fire I can actually see clearly what to do about it because they taught us that in middle school :p
It is strange I've never noticed the female friend group thing outside of exaggerated highschool movies 🤔 the traits I hear people describing sound like toxic people traits generally. I noticed these traits in more cliquey groups, both male and female. I had v mixed friend groups and so have my immediate family, I wonder if it's less a gender thing and more am ideology thing. People who are mostly only willing to be friends with their same gender and only interact with the opposite gender if they see them as a romantic option probably won't have the best takes generally lol. I've also noticed it less as I've gotten older. Like, many of my interests have communities that are majority women, I haven't noticed a disproportionate amount of drama with them 🤔
Yes, I don't relate to "women are mean". Yes, in grade 7&8, they were scary! After that, it all went away. Women are what hold society together. I often feel sorry for my husband and my friends' husbands, as they don't seem to be able to make close friends.
0:40 I'm the exact opposite of this. I'm an extrovert who never does anything social. Believe it or not, but that's a very painful life. Figuratively, of course.
In high school, I didn’t confine myself to a group at all. I was all the groups and none of the groups I was with who I wanted to be when I wanted to, and was with who I wanted to be with when I wanted to.
Whoa this was hysterical! I really love your personality, it makes me feel very cheerful. 😊 I’m neurotypical but I found myself relating to a lot of the memes myself
4:15 i always introduce myself by saying hello i'm autistic, and at least in more left leaning friend group it works relatively well only had the other talk to me like was a child like 2 or 3 times out of like 50ish times and i have never talked to those guys ever again tho when it comes to classmates (i'm still a student) i prefer to wait a few month (or weeks if we bond fast enough) and then when they say a "joke" about autistic people i revel to them that i am infact autistic. their faces are always so funny.
As an autistic woman, I can confidently say that female friend groups are the bane of my existence. Making this worse? I'm a lesbian. I'm thankful to have just celebrated my 10th anniversary. But finding the right person took a long time. And then we just happened to learn she's ADHD and I'm autistic. So, turns out the reason we understand each other's needs is because we share many of the same issues.
ohh I feel for you because girls are so intimidating too 😂 Sooo glad you found your person! When I think about it now, pretty much my only successful female friendships have been with neurodiverse women!
I have been like this all my life, but then I found ND groups of female friends and it's been really nice.
ikr I feel like I'll never properly be able to have a female bsf bc I'll like develop a crush on them and they won't like me back etc etc
I got tested because all my gal pals got ADHD Diagnosis. And I'm omniamorus so dating women never went well. Their insecurities And girl groups opinions of me meant I was not welcome long. But wouldn't realize it till I spent a year as the butt of a group joke.
Why did I read ‘I’m a lesbian’ in darcy Olssens voice
3 out of 4 of my best friends are autistic, and I befriended every single one of them by repeatedly sitting down next to them and just talking 😂
My adhd ass decided they have friend shaped vibes and I'm perfectly capable of filling days and weeks worth of conversation with random anecdotes and infodumps until they became comfortable enough to share about themselves or bring up topics.
I never even realized until recently one of them went "How would I even make friends as adults" and I was like "?? You became friends with me when we were adults??" and they went all "that's on you tho, you just kept coming to me with whatever absurd stuff happened that week and were fine with me contributing only sarcastic jokes"
So... that's apparently what worked for us, maybe it's useful for someone else?
Same lol. I just talk to people and whoever laughs the most, I stick with.
Neurodivergent ppl adopting each other :)
Friend shaped vibes is a wonderful phrase I should start using :)
I met my friends online and one just asked me to be her friend and then I just followed this one person around because I learnt she liked percy jackson and she just siad she was my friend one day and pretty much the same happened with another but she asked for my number which i was scared too do cuz of coming of the wrong way cuz im bi and the other two were when I was like 4 and 5 and we were both outcasts so we just became friends and yes i have proven her point of over shareing ugh
I would be friend with you if you sat down and just started talking
I like that these are accurate and not just a picture of a horse captioned "i think my dog is autistic".
😂😂
Yeah, but that one always sends me, and I have no clue why. We even use that one for our actual dog.
Honorable mention of Martin Cabello III's:
"I'm autistic as shit."
The not fitting in with female friend groups thing makes me think of all the horrible experiences I’ve had at people’s baby showers. Baby showers where husbands and children are not allowed can be so awkward and just a real nightmare.
Ahhh!! I've never been to one - sounds stressful 😅
oh the joys of not being considered fully mature by socitiy
I’ve never been to one either! Maybe I’ll go for invite husbands and kids to make it more palatable if I even decide to have such a thing 😆
And maybe dogs too while we’re at it lol. Dogs help so much with social situations, when I’m maxed out with people I can just interact with the nearest animal lol 😆
Yes, tbh I'm glad to have found this video because although I am not diagnosed with autism, as a kid I had symptoms and having no friends at all was spot on, especially with other girls my age who viewed me as a non feminine girl
Funnily I find female friendships a lot easier to navigate than interactions with boys. The girls I tend to be friends with are mostly introverted and we usually bond over shared interests (books and academia). As someone who talks a lot and has trouble understanding what people mean or feel, when they don't put it in words and explain their feelings, talking to boys at least while I was a teenager or even in Uni tended/tends to go over my head. Their conversations seem to happen a lot less verbal or at least less words are exchanged. Jokes are more common than genuine heart to heart conversations, especially about emotions and feelings. That's not to say this doesn't happen or that I haven't met boys where we had great conversations, just that in my experience I tended to feel lost and unsure of what they were meaning when interacting with a group of boys (groups are always worse than one on one conversations).
That's so interesting!! Thank you for sharing! I do like a good heart-to-heart, so I can see what you mean. I have had positive experiences being friends with neurodiverse girls, for sure.
Woah SAME
i get wut u mean, for me it was the opposite. ive only recently gotten decent at heart to hearts(outside of me bein blunt to ppl lmao) so jokes and memes and shit were my go to to bondin w others, so i had more long lastin friendships w guys more than girls
I suppose it depends how you want to connect with people... If emotions are important for your understanding of them, then men might be more difficult to read, but if you want to move past the complications that emotions cause in social interactions, guys will normally push that to the side for the most part and tend to be less bothered... Not that we don't still deal with emotional issues and such, but we're probably often more interested in discussing interests with other people or whatever... Although, maybe that's just my interpretation... But yeah, when men do get into emotions, I think they tend to be more straightforward and to the point about things too, which might seem like lack of detail, but potentially is also easier to digest and work out... I can see how this could go both ways when trying to navigate these things.
It's the same with me!!! I mean... the majority of my female friends were neurodivergent, and we would often write stories together, we liked anime, and we'd play different kinds of video games from boys. Like, we loved sitting around talking about the deep psychology of horror games while the boys were like .... shooting each other. My afab friends liked the same bands and art and stuff. Talking to boys felt foreign. And I felt like you can't be as honest or complimentary. I'd always tell my afab friends how much I loved them, how awesome they were, easily complimenting other women's hair or something .... And guys kind of make me a manic pixie dream girl, too. So it's just.... I struggle.
Every time I think "nah, I'm probably not autistic" I see something like that "sorry, I was trying to figure out how a normal person would respond and gave up" and it's one of the most relatable things I've ever seen, and then I'm confused again
...still don't know if I am autistic or not, but some autistic traits are just super relatable...
it’s the same for me, it’s really hard to self diagnose and I can never be 100% sure
Me too, buddy. Me too
More than half are relatable for me, and it's freaking scary!
Autistic traits are completely normal human traits. It is the combination and the extend that it affects your everyday life that makes it diagnosable. Also, memes tend to show the most relatable experiences, so just being able to relate to some memes doesn't automatically mean you are autistic
I'm in the same boat, I mostly think I don't have enough traits for an official Dx, but then there's times where I wonder based on how much I relate to some of it. I even got mistaken by an acquaintance for having Aspbergers (back before they dropped that name), but I have ADHD-PI so they were probably just unaware of how much ADHD & ASD overlap. Idek. 😅🙃🫠
0:57 i once became the head of the group in the uni TOTALLY AGAINST MY WILL - the story is: our group was the last one to choose the leader, so the dude from the office came after classes, brought us all together and made us play a team-building game: to hold hands is a circle, close our eyes and make a triangle while he would look and pick the most active once. After about 15 minets of being yanked in random directions by people i barely knew while enduring constant yelling and total darkness i gave up and screamed smth like “OKAY WHO THE HELL IS THE CORNER?! STAND STILL FOR GOD’S SAKE!” and that’s how i became the head of the group. I was terrible at the job.
Love this story ahaha!! But that sounds like hell!!
@6:50 This is playing off of the saying "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." But this person is saying "you've seen this side of me, thought it was my worst, but you're wrong and that's going to be an unpleasant surprised for you because it will definitely get worse." I giggled, and can definitely relate - I wouldn't take offense at it, I read it as more of like, people aren't always on the same page about things and often autistic/ND traits get read by NT people as "oh that's weird/awkward/bad" when it's just... who we are. In other words, if you meet me and think that my day to day autistic awkwardness is me at "my worst," you're going to be surprised when I actually have a bad day. Hope that made sense. :)
Thanks for sharing, this was fun. ^^ I enjoy meme reactions, it's always great to see other perspectives. And I can completely relate on the notifications thing. >.> You CAN turn off the "second notification" for texts on iphone. Go to settings -> Notifications -> scroll down in the list of apps to "messages" -> Customize Notifications -> Repeat Alerts -> select "never" (or whatever you want to change it to).
Ahaha! Yesss, I like that explanation! I think I just wanted an excuse to bully my husband 😅
You know as soon as I started editing the part where I was kicking off about notifications I thought...I bet there's an easy way to change that!! Thank you - I'll do that now!!
@@imautisticnowwhat My phone is just permanently on Do Not Disturb 😅 I get back to people when I get back to them unless it's absolutely necessary to have notifications on, lol.
Yeah I couldn't understand what the person was trying to say either lol thanks for explaining XD
@@chloe2264 same
or you've seen me masking or partially masking? and you think that's bad oh boy you're in for a treat.
Hadn't heard the term "peer diagnosis", but totally understand the concept! Thoroughly enjoyed this video (Australian, diagnosed in my 50s -- just ASD, not ADHD)
I literally met my best friend because he was sitting alone and I pretty much just started talking to him coming up on nearly a decade of friendship now :) I've made a lot of friends like that. He'd been told not to talk to me by the other kids because I was the "weird" kid, pretty much the only neurodivergent kid in my entire school to my knowledge. But when we started talking it was just one of those sorta *click* moments where we got along almost right away.
That's so lovely!! I had a similar experience when I first spoke to my husband - I just felt so comfortable, which is unusual for me, particularly with someone who isn't neurodivergent.
@@imautisticnowwhat Me and him had a lot of similar interests from videogames. I actually am the person who sparked his fascination for science, back when we were little he didn't care for it almost at all. He pretty much only knew the stuff they taught at school which in like elementary and middle school isn't all that impressive. So I showed him videos from all sorts of science creators on RUclips, and we had even more of a shared interest after that. Unfortunately I'm moving away soon but I'm showing him ways to use different be our platforms so that we can still keep in contact.
VR platforms*
@@rosegray4061 That's SO lovely!! I really hope you can stay in touch! 🥰
I really relate to the texting thing. I hate calls and I hate long texts…. In-person communication with the right person is okay, but if it gets too crowded, loud, bright, hot or stuffy, etc; I will retreat into my shell and stop communicating all together.
Calls is the worst. I much rather text. With text I can use many words to try conveying my intent without interruption. People get walls of text from me.
But in person communication is the best. Body language does so much for people to understand me.
My parents tell me I’m too smart to be Autistic but I completely relate better to my diagnosed Autistic friends, who also say I am most likely Autistic and should get a diagnose it. I get made fun of by my parents for my stims, special interests, and the way I act.
I love your channel! Just found it and subscribed very quickly in!!
Asperger’s does exist (think it’s called high functioning autism in some places or maybe that’s different?) try to get diagnosed and stand up to your parents if possible they don’t sound like the nicest
I'm sorry your parents make fun of you, they're doing poor parenting in that regard. It's not their place to make fun of their children for any reason.
Autistics can be very intelligent, that statement is just ignorant.
One of the smartest people I know is autistic. Truly. Trust me, intelligence is /not/ determined by how neurotypical you are-twice-exceptional people exist. You can look it up, but it basically means that you're at two extremes, brain functioning wise. In my case, I'm in the 10th percentile for brain processing speed (i.e. I'm /incredibly/ slow and my working memory's not the best), but I'm in the /95th/ percentile for general ability (i.e. I am far from stupid).
Getting a diagnosis doesn't change who you are, but it might help you better understand it. I wish you the best of luck, internet stranger :)
That doesn't make sense. Autistic persons are commonly pretty intelligent.
Hope you can gather a family of friends around you. You don't need them if they treat you like that. ❤
Stims special interests?
4:12 I was at a wedding reception once, trotting ang giggling about with the bride: my bestie. We went on to talk with her family members, when one of them asked me "why are you so positively fucked up?" "It do be autism" - I replied. Surprisingly, the person just said "ah I get it!" and we went on with the convo normally, I will cherish that moment forever
I love this so much. my mom is not very chatty, so she is constantly telling me in the nicest way possible to shut up. So sometimes I think I have to be quiet or someone is going to hate me. But seeing you talk at the end, no cutting around it, or anything. You just being you and talking without apologizing makes me so so happy. I hope one day I can do that.
I was diagnosed off the autism spectrum when I was younger, (I had PDD-NOS) but I still display some autistic traits. I always feel self-conscious about how I act in public, and at least I have some reason to see why my brain works this way. These were also surprisingly relatable. Thanks for the great video!
Thank you for your lovely comment and for sharing that!
2:50 - I literally did this in college. I don't know what posessed me to, aside from the fact that we were the only girls in the computing/programming course.
After about a week, I just went 'hey you, we have some classes together. You don't seem to hang around anyone, come with me to my Nans for lunch!' literally, my grandmothers house is at the end of the street only a 2 minute walk from where the college was, and we were inseparable for that time. I -NEVER- did anything else like this.
That's how I came by my best friend in high school I was kinda an outcast and only really spoke to the teacher or when I got made leader in groups, the class was new (but I knew most people) and she was the new border so I kinda just sat next to her and we started talking about school/ I helped her in lessons bc she was a boarder from abroad who didnt speak the language well enough yet/ in her country they just taught a lot of stuff veery different or not at all (China vs Western european country). All my other friends (I got a whole 3 friends nowadays 🥳) kinda just collected me (or took pity on me well never know) or we shared a flat for a year and helped each other out. All 3 of them are perfectly fine with my fact rants and months of no contact and restrictions on what we do together when we meet each other (clubs or definitly off limits) so I'd say I got really lucky there. None of them know each other as all 3 live in different countries and I met them at completly different life stages.
I’m 68 and undiagnosed, though I scored very high on the online tests. During the long lockdown I didn’t have to mask (not that I had known that I had been). Now my mask has crumbled from disuse. The past year and a half was spent taking care of my dying younger brother (he died in September). That stress shredded what was left of my residual masking ability. Learning more about what it means to be on the spectrum via RUclips and books and my neurodivergant friends it certainly explains al lot about my life. Diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, IBS. When I told my Primary Care Dr. about an episode I’d had (had never heard of a meltdown before now), I was referred to a shrink who said I was bipolar. I was allergic to the medicine. So I quit taking it. Surprise: not bipolar! I fired her. Now I know what it was. I hope to get a diagnosis sometime, but at my age, what good is it?
You'll probably find the autistic community very open to self-diagnosis. There really isn't a cure for autism (and most of us dont want one anyways), so a professional diagnosis doesnt do anything for adults. All you do is start being more self-aware and and learning how to take care of yourself better. For some, having therapy that is geared towards autism acceptance can be helpful, but others aren't too into it. At the end of the day, do what makes you and those around you happy.
I'd say it gives you clarity. My (non-identical) twin sons were always so very different with one struggling so much more in life (from riding bikes and drawing/writing to making friends and many other issues), so he was in constant medical care (physical therapy, occupational therapy, in and out of psych ward) without anybody pinpointing in the right direction, that when he finally got his diagnosis at the age of 13, it was such a relief for him and us as his family. And for me as a NT with strong autistic traits, it helped me to come to terms with myself.
I’m not sure about the numbers, but many AFABs who go to psychs tend to first be diagnosed as bipolar because the masking and the alternative personalities are so similar in AFABs. Then again, there’s a running joke that bipolar is the diagnosis women get when they don’t get along with their psychologist.
If you are pretty certain you have it from your research, you probably do. A formal diagnosis might help if required for accomodations or something, but nonetheless it's worth researching on your own to find the things that might better help you navigate your life more comfortably and effectively. As someone who discovered recently and far into life (pushing 40), I cannot express how good it's been finding out what's going on with me and being able to make adjustments to my life accordingly. I wish you all the best with your journey.
I hear you about the crumbling mask due to COVID isolation (just me, my autistic husband and our three animals, yes please). Now I'm trying to figure out if I need the mask, can I rebuild the elements of the mask that protect me? I'm also wondering about the need for a diagnosis, it seems like this community doesn't need me to get an official label and that's pretty darn comforting.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
This is hilarious! Can’t believe I only found you just now. Your editing is solid and it’s a lot of fun listening to you talk. Subscribed!
Thank you soo much!! ❤
fellow splatoon fan!!!
@@wistfuloptimist1238 Eyy, a person of culture! Hello fellow splatoonie! 🤝
Funnily enough, I've always found it easier to deal with girls because they seem more genuine when they talk, or maybe I just feel a bit safer. When I talk to guys it's like I'm prepared to run away, re-enforce boundaries, or friend-zone at any moment (can you tell where my anxiety is centered?). Although, I have been told that my schools have always been much less focused on popularity than is common.
That whole diagnosing my friends.. it's crazy. The more I learn the more I wonder if I actually know a single neurotypical person... Like seriously tho...
Ahaha!! Yeah - if it wasn't for my husband I think I might start to think neurotypical people are a myth 😂
Tbh it takes a special type of neurotypical person to be a healthy person for me to be around. I had a lot of luck, and I have also grown as person, but there are always be neurotypical ppl who are like poison to me to be around. They are not intentionally bad or even objectively bad, for me thou they are. Like ppl who keep labeling my natural ADHD traits as rude, impolite, mean etc. Who keep trying to control and change my every expresion be it verbal or behavioural. There are definitelly things I need to work on but for F sake let me exists. Literally, thats it.
Could be selection bias. If either you avoid neurotypical people or neurotypical people avoid you then your friend group probably won't have very many neurotypical people.
@@garethbaus5471 I don't doubt this is a big part of it. I was not necessarily meaning this comment to be taken literally, it was just a funny observation about my life and social circle.
Just saw this video and immediately subscribed, I'm 100% sure you will be big on this platform soon
You're very kind. Thank you for subscribing :)
I am that autistic friend who inadvertently diagnosed their friends as neurodivergant but two of them have since gotten officially diagnosed as autistic so...
Neurodivergant people just have a certain energy that only other neurodivergant people can match so if we vibe a little too well then surprise! You're probably neurodivergant too! Congrats 🥳
You know what, I've recently discovered that it's incredibly possible I'm Autistic, and that meme talking about how you're introverted but somehow end up taking control of everything has never made me feel more understood ahhh! Because I've never got that, it confused me so much how I'd wait until the entire class had paired up and have to go to the teacher and ask her to forcibly shove me into a group that didn't want me, but then I'd end up being the one doing the whole project because everyone else would probably do it wrong~ makes sense now
How is the end of the video where you're ranting about notifications the most relatable thing for me! I switched to Android because I was able to find a phone I liked that had a headphone jack (huge sticking point for me. I'm not an audiophile but I have *standards* dammit.) and it annoys the hell out of me that apps don't ask me if I want notifications, they just assume I want them.
I have ADHD, I'm not autistic but my aunt thought I was. I got my diagnosis too shortly before she died to tell her how close she was. Most of my friends are ADHD, Autistic, or Both. It's funny how it just seems to work out that I just seem to gravitate toward them. Almost like I find it hard to get along with people, and they do for similar reasons.
In high school, I, myself, used the tactic of oscillating between incredibly quiet when by myself to pretty boisterous when with friends.
Of course, most people only saw me when I was quiet, and my special interests in "writing" and "learning and making languages" made it so I spent every lunch period just quietly scribbling in a journal in a language literally nobody but me could understand.
I got compared to the Zodiac Killer more than once
Being the only autistic girl in a female friend group was a bit of a mixed bag. On the one hand I believe with all my heart that I had the best luck when it came to my high school friend group and that they were generally very supportive. But on the other hand I could definitely see the cattiness, words being spoken behind another girls back, the general unpredictability of everyone’s emotions really got to me at some points. What was even weirder for me was how easy I found it to come out as bisexual to my friends and yet the very thought of telling them I am autistic would nearly have me going through an anxiety induced panic attack. But its only been in recent years after we all graduated and went off in different directions in life do I see their progress whenever we get the chance to meet up. Literally the beginning of this year I found out that not only were my high school friends were some form of queer and also were neurodivergent and that made it a lot easier to tell them I was autistic.
If you enjoyed this reaction video, you may like the one where I react to Jubilee's Who Does NOT Have Autism video... Major plot twist!:
ruclips.net/video/dn9_fKFmbHw/видео.html
And more memes here: ruclips.net/video/r8G00JJWdd4/видео.html
As a fellow autistic woman, you have a new subscriber! And I agree on the whole friend group thing. Due to my autism and some childhood trauma sprinkled on top, I tend to prefer guy friends and shy away from girl friends unless I get immediate friend shaped vibes from them. I discovered 3 months ago that one of my closest female friends is autistic and was diagnosed recently so she's discovering how much more we have in common from our childhoods. I was diagnosed in my childhood unlike her, so between me and her husband, we encouraged her to seek a diagnosis
Edit: most of my friends I meet at comicons by essentially prepping myself for hours to get out and simply talk to people (Cosplay really helps my confidence) and others from online video games
Male high schooler here, subscribed instantly. I'm already in love with your content upon first encounter.
While I am not completely familiar/understood on the topic of autism, I relate to a lot of these memes, especially during my darkest period the past several years. Got along better with girls than boys my age, possessed a vastly different mindset towards life compared to my classmates, doubted my gender due to having been a bully victim, struggled a lot to make new friends and fit in my classes, and too many more to bring up...
My best and only female friend is autistic, and we've been very close friends for a few years till now despite now going to separate schools. Because our friendship is exactly how I envision the type of friendship that suits me the most.
And, I'm not entirely on the autism spectrum, but my diagnosis has revealed that I tend to possess multiple traits. But honestly, what matters to me the most, is why can't people just look past our significant differences, accept each other as we are and get along...
My daughter, who also has ASD, has made most of her friends by the "will you be my friend?" method you mentioned. I've struggled my whole life and the 9-year-old has it down better than me!
Omg that’s right! I don’t trust my self in leadership roles but I find myself in them a lot.
7:17 is a funny take on Marylin Monroe’s quote “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve my best.”
In her case it’s a slap at fair weathered friends. In the other quote it’s “if you think that’s bad, you anit seen nothing yet.”
my advice to make friends if youre still in school is to join theater. even if you can't act or something, its not hard to get onto crew. from there, make friends with a few people to the point where you can sit with them at lunch and meet the rest of their friends. boom, 10 new friends and you only had to meet 1 or 2 people on your own. people in theater are super accepting at least most of the time and i find it really fun on its own
I always felt like a traitor to my own labeling women as evil! You nailed it though on the females friends thing! It's not everyone but it damn feels like most of them. They are too complicated and two faced. I learned to keep away quickly.
I feel like a traitor too, but I agree most women these days are two faced and complicated these days like you said. I don't even trust my mom and some of my partner's female family members much. I acknowledge they are going through a lot of crap at the moment, but they keep doing it to themselves and won't take any advice on board. So, we just try to avoid them for the meantime. My partner warned they can have a nasty side to them when you disagree with something or try to give them helpful advice. My mom can have a very nasty streak to her if you disagree with her about anything. I upset and angered her when I gave her advice to stop messaging her ex boyfriend and to stop shit talking about him to his own family. I understand she's very hurt, but she's not the only out there who has experienced simliar. I for one been through some hell with my last ex, but she doesn't want to hear anyone's relationship experiences, only if it benefits her. My sister has warned me that mom tends to talk nasty about me infront of her and (after mom and I have disagreement) to her friends sometimes. God, all I want to do is try to help my mom because I care about her! Wtf did I do wrong?
In my experience, the non-autistic women are two-faced and the men that I so-far have encountered are all pigs.
So I have to ask myself, do I want to sit with people that pretend to like me, while they clearly don't? But we are all pretending we have a nice time?
OR do I want to sit with a bunch of men that will tell me to shut up, that I am uneffeble, that cheer on violence and r@pe on television and will then vent their anger on eachother/me and (for some reason) always end with drunk farting and vomiting and comparing their biggest poop?
I mean, I usually settle for one hour of ladiestime and then I am gone, home, to sit on my own. Or autilady time. That is better.
Fr
all so relatable...and for me, female friendships always had that weird air of...fakeness i guess? i dont understand it either but i relate, cant fully relate to not telling people about my autism tho, i just blurt that shit out without thinking XD
The complimentary autism diagnosis is so funny because when I stared to go deep into the autism special interest hole, I gave my close friends the tests to compare and like, yES
there's also this girl I started to talk to lately from my class, we were talking about some things that we love and I was like "lmao no neurotypical person likes things THIS MUCH" and then she mentioned that she did autism test and we climbed on the oversharing train to talk about neurodivergency, very nice girl
This is the first video I've ever seen from her, and I have decided that I like her. Probably going to binge her stuff later lmao
Same.
Thank you both SO much!
Same
WOW. I think you are an extroverted version of myself! I knew I had adhd but I might be autistic too 😆
When you talk about our brains just being different, it's exactly like I feel. I have a spectrum in my head about how everyone works, but it's hard to explain in words.
And thank you for all the laughs, I needed that today 😄
Love love love you!!
And damn that took a long time to write 🙄
Aww, you're so kind!! You've made my day ❤
I am on the spectrum. I am good with small chit chat with strangers but once I'm in a team environment, I'm apparently rude and disrespectful. When this is brought to my attention, I bring cookies to work the following day with a poem that is an apology and explanation of my autism.
Out of curiosity, what poem is this? Because that sounds like an awesome way to share one's neurodivergence!
@@Laura-gb1jv it was something I made up. I forgot what I exactly said. It fit on a notecard that I taped to the cookie containers. Every last word of each line had an artistic detail (like "cookie" was blue n fuzzy with crooked black dots in the o's). One line said "im actually soft and sweet, much like these cookies". "I appreciate your patience for I have AUTISM" (each letter a different color on that word).
I can relate to you in every way, and watching this lets me know that there are actually others like me, with the same experiences. In a way, it's calming.
Hi!
"This is the first day of the rest of your life" made me cry. I'm an almost 54 year-old female and found out a few weeks ago I'm in an autistic burnout. I' ve been diagnosed with depression a few years ago but I felt different this time. I did online research and came across autism. It all makes sense now. I' m so happy I found out but very sad at the same time being relatively old. I' m planning to get diagnosed although I've hardly ever been that sure about anything.
Thank you so much for your content, it helps me sooo much.
Greetings from Germany ❤
my autistic method of making friends was waiting for an extroverted "weirdo/outcast" to adopt me. so far i've been succesfully adopted twice. the rest of them turned out to be bad people taking advantage of me (i said it was a method, not "the best" method lol)
Oh gosh that texting thing, especially in a group chat, if you start writing a message, then you rethink but you already had that "typing" animation seen by others, then you edit and edit, then you decide it was a bad idea to say and you can't just say anything short like "Yup" as it's already been a minute of writing and you panic and you try to come up with just anything a bit longer and your brain locks up and it is just spiralling out of control.
ADHD here. Definitely vibe with so much of this but especially the female friend group thing. When I learned to knit it got a little easier but most of those women are "surface friends" because we have an overlapping hobby. I've just always gotten along easier with men. I've been told I'm "not threatening" amongst other things but mostly that its "cool to have a female friend you can just hang out with" and I think that's because I suck at flirting? I just try to treat everyone with kindness. The problem is, girls always think I'm flirting.. so I've always managed to send the wrong signals to lesbians accidentally or come off as a homewrecker without even trying. Is it wrong to be female and say that females are weird and really confusing? Why does being nice have to be flirting?
Maybe it's because of what they think your sexuality is? If your female friends notice there's something different about you but don't know exactly what it is, they might automatically assume you're a lesbian, and therefore be more likely to interpret your actions as flirting. Bear in mind, though, that I am Autistic myself, so my observations about how normal people work might not necessarily be accurate.
@@machinedramon3532 maybe, except the women who’ve gotten mad at me, did so for being friendly/comfortable around their male spouse. I suspect conditioned insecurities are at play? I’ve been treated by females this way, in front of MY male partner (whichever one it was at the time), who didn’t have any issues.
I tend to nerd out when I find someone with a shared interest or hobby… video games (not just cozy ones), MTG, puzzles, reading, math, history, art… how those are all related… and now looking at the list, the list definitely skews masculine dominated.
I even purposefully got into makeup to have more in common with more females… plus it’s fun to do art on a person instead of doing art of a person.
I definitely feel like I don’t have to have a facade around guys and they definitely encourage me, just being me. Single guy friends always say, “it feels so great having a female friend not trying to hook up with me” *and they’ve said this, even when I’ve been very much single* but partnered or married cishet male friends often cut contact or their partners do it for them or it’s very clear they merely tolerate my presence or worse, the guy lies about my presence. It’s a hella awkward situation to be in and explain…
And I analyze it a lot and always hesitate explaining it to others because I know it sounds so weird. Plus I’m always told, “you MUST be flirting” and I definitely am not… unless I’m also flirting with my cishet female friends and LGBTQ spectrum of friends… which also, I’m not.
This is a common problem in my family tho. Accused of flirting when we’re just being nice/friendly/outgoing.
Im just gonna roll with the belief that ppl are insecure, unhappy, and hella projecting.
@@Chaotic_Pixie It's allllll about insecurities. Social norms have always baffled me, to the point that I've developed a special interest in psychology. It seems to me that the insecure people who anchor their self-worth on being good to others are the ones who are bothered the most by kindness. To them, it's like you're turning up the difficulty. Cause they compare themselves to you and don't like how it looks, and lack the self-awareness to realize they don't need to always be the best at everything to be a good person. So when people call you arrogant, full of yourself, a kiss ass, or any other negative thing when you're just being kind for the sake of it, you can usually be sure that they're projecting the shame they feel onto you. Hope this helps :)
When you put that penguin in front of your face, I was in tears! 😂
😂😅 He's the best!
Im a diagnosed autistic woman, and i 100% relate to the struggles of female socializing and female friend groups (worst is at the workplace! Ive given up on that 😂)
As an autistic person myself, I typically like texting. It's nice as long as you know you don't need to worry about how long it takes to type it all out.
It's super nice when it's with people who don't mind long paragraphs and who understand how you communicate.
I relate to almost all of these, but I'm not formally diagnosed. The strategies for ADHD and autism work for me, soooo..... I don't know what to think. But this viddeo was hysterical. Instant sub!
auDHD nonbinary here, omg you have me cackling by myself, like the presentation of these memes and your editing are perfect and it feels like you are perfectly describing my inside brain experience with the edits lololol superb job ♡♡
I'm not autistic but i find the memes too relatable 😂
I had to pause the video for the ADHD Panik part so I could find it and send it to my husband rtfn.
The one where she's out, and desperately wants to be home is one I can relate to a little too hard also.
These were hilarious. I've seen a few of these before, but most were new to me.
LOL, I"ve noticed that I seem to have sort of an inverted stress curve. Things that shouldn't reasonably be stressful or scary are, but the moment my life is on the line, I'm just like super, super chill.
I related so hard to the calm in emergencies (which I thought was a trauma thing) and the replying to texts thing. I struggle so hard to text people sometimes. 😐
that "sorry, I didn't respond to your text"-meme hit me. Like brick. Very slow. And I just saved it on my computer. thank you (and your husband for finding it^^)
The swimming one: You're a neurodivergent in a sea of neurotypicals, trying to survive by masking and fails at it
I have notifications on for emails cause they might be important (usually aren't though and I hate it), messages from family in case of emergencies (they don't abuse the privilege), my closest friends because I actually want to hear from them regularly, and exactly one friend on Twitter who I absolutely adore. They are the only person I can get a notification from and actually feel nothing but excitement every time.
I happened across your video on # reasons you are probably not autistic and it has really helped me understand that I very well may be. You have been a great help in my neurodivergent journey and I do enjoy your face and will keep watching to learn more. Thank you for sharing your story!
one comment about awareness, at 5:00 the thing is, people think our actions during meltdowns are directed at them (like a bar fight), However, we need to explain to them, IT IS NOT YOU WE ARE DIRECTING OUR ANGER/FRUSTRATION AT, IT IS THE SITUATION ITSELF, once they understand that, THEN people are aware, accepting, and understanding.
Not diagnosed, binging tests and RUclips for almost a year now, going from sobbing “I know now” to “You don’t have the expertise to diagnose yourself, shut up and get over it” - then seeing you talk about female friend groups… Another pleasant, teary “I know now” moment. 😄 HOW! do they do it? Too much not being said! Men just grunting at each other when mad is my pleasant resting place.
0:20 Just for saying, this is EXACTLY my humor 😂 I really like stating obvious facts that no NT even thinks of and watch the other get upset about it. For example, I am living in Germany, and whenever someone asked "Where is XY?", especially in Minecraft where we constantly had to find each other, I always said "in Germany" or "on Earth". Also, when I was little, whenever I was speaking to my sister about my mom, I always said "my mom - and YOUR mom - said ....." And she didn't really find it funny because how obvious that fact is, but I was truly laughing my @$$ off. Eventually, I kinda stopped with those dumb jokes because yeah, masking, but maybe I'll start again lmao
😂 about the double text notifications! I find myself leaving my phone on silent most of the time because people ringing out of the blue is even worse! And no, no notifications on my phone. Crikey what with every appliance in the world beeping and buzzing and dinging at every moment the last thing I need is more beeps, dings and buzzes! 😂
😂😂 Glad to hear it's not just me!! The phone ringing makes my heart race like mad 😅
Silent mode is the best. Just because I have a mobile phone doesn't mean it's on me all the time nor even that I want to answer it. My friends and family often have a crack at me for not answering and I typically respond with something like "How on earth did you get by before mobile phones? People had landlines and weren't even home half the time!"
@@imautisticnowwhat There's a setting to turn off the double text. I have it off on mine.
Finally, someone who understands how annoying notifications can be.
5:24 "Now I can just bee."
5:43 Literally my diagnosed autistic friend says every single day that they're diagnosing me since I'm too scared to ask my parents for a diagnosis lmao
Related SO much to your comments about female friendships! I realized just now why I get along better (in general) with men: they tend to be more direct, and they mean what they say. I do NOT understand subtlety. Irony is? I'm bisexual. I have been in love with a woman and with a man (who I eventually married). The woman (as well as my husband) had the qualities I most value: directness, logic, no bullsh***ng. Wow. I never thought about it in this way, until I saw this video. Thank you so much! Subscribed a while back; just call me an old (62) woman who didn't realize she was ASD and ADHD until seeing a video on RUclips 2 years ago. Self-diagnosed for now (American heath care system very expensive, and I've been medically gaslighted so much I no longer trust it). I love your videos, thank you so much for what you do!
I’ve had the same friend group for years and 4/4 are bisexual, 4/4 are mentally ill and 2/4 have ADHD (one says she’d rather live in ignorant bliss and the other is afraid of booking appointment) we didn’t know any of this before we became friends so it’s kinda funny that we all turned out to share these similarities. We have a sixth sense or smth
It's so amazing how people are drawn together!
I'm glad you understand the need to NOT have notifications on. I can't rest when I'm constantly being prompted to *engage!* I engaged enough! I already did! All done, no more! shush!
Love this!! 😂
I landed here at random, and it was like looking in a mirror or listening to myself speak 😂
Aww, that's so cool! Thank you for being here ❤
Same here!
People have asked me over 5 times if I'm autistic. Not to my knowledge bro I have I-ADHD💀💀💀
I've denied almost every app on my phone access to notifications on my phone because it distracts and overwhelms me
I got diagnosed with ADHD last year and I can especially relate to the last one!
I was always the odd one out in my female friends group and when I finally changed school when I was 16 my new friends were either not straight or somehow special" (most of them aren't diagnosed but I think some have autism or adhd haha) and I felt so much better! It was okay to be load and "quirky".
I often don't text back because I don't know how to react "normal" and I either give up or forget about the message... :')
7:26 LMAO so many times I go to my wife and ask her "how do I respond to this text?"
Related very much to the one with not responding to text and in the end just giving up...
and the awkwardness later when i am about to meet or call someone that i did not respond and i know i will have to explain myself somehow.
I related to every word of this, and my friend absolutely diagnosed me after he was diagnosed. It was such a relief! I felt like Gonzo from The Muppets finally meeting his alien family (Muppets from Space is a highly underrated movie).
5:44 got me because the reason I’m watching ur videos is because I got peer diagnosed w autism by all my autistic friends 😭😂😂😂💀
I relate so much to your final statement about having notifications off! What a pain
at 4:03 this is slightly incorrect, the idea is that we do panic a lot (sensory input overload), BUT, due to our 'logical' aproach to things, in Emergencies, we STOP, BREATHE, THINK, and act logically, and safely, analysing all the consequences of a choice, to make the best outcome.
I have major ADHD, and the meme at 3:34 got me laughing at 9 at night.
Also I didn't know that people could relate to this, but I find it difficult to fit into female friend groups as well. I'm just not as comfortable and I don't trust them as much and can't relate to them or the way they think. It's really great to know that people can relate to that though and that it's not just me letting my past trauma separate me from everyone I love because I'm being too "dramatic".
7:40 i take like 30 minutes to decide what to say until i finally end up replying “ok”………………
the colors of your sweater make me so happy 😂
I think the meme you were offended by meant like what a neuro-atypical "good mood" is not the same as a neuro-typical "good mood" is. Like good mood for NA ppl might be like sitting quietly in the corner with a neutral or maybe to some a RBF on staring into space while their brain is concocting the most vibrant, vivid world of magic and wonder and they can just sit there and daydream like that for hours in complete bliss but to a NT person watching them they might think they're concocting a list of ppl they want to kill because they're not betraying their inner most thoughts on their face and even if they start interacting with them, they'll still be outwardly neutral but on the inside they're at my their most peaceful and blissful state until they say s*it like cheer up or smile or some other appeal to normalcy that boils their blood so they end up exploding at them and they think it was because they were already pissed off but it was actually them that triggered them so now they're alienating people over stupid misunderstandings rather than people appreciating other peoples' differences.
And in another scenario where the NA person seems like they're having the time of their lives while socialising, and the NT person not realising that it's just a ticking time bomb until they crash and have to hibernate for a month before they feel safe to socialise again because that 1 event depleted them so much and they seem surprised by the sudden mood change when it's just chemicals running out and them needing time to replenish them. Like they'd be great at the party then on the ride home they're all gloomy and the driver or passenger in the car wanting to make small talk gets offended because they think they did something wrong to make their mood darken but no matter how much it's explained to them they just don't get it and the more they try to cajole them the more pissed off they get, ending a great day into a pointless argument.
Forgive me for being off-topic Meg but I think you might just be the most adorable human being ever. You win RUclips. Please keep making videos forever.
I had a good laugh about the one convincing yourself to leave the house, and instantly regretting it! There are certain people in my life who can exhaust me within 5 minutes of talking to them, one of which is my mother-in-law. 😬So while I might look forward to going to a family event or dinner, sometimes it really does turn into, "I've been here for 5 minutes and I already want to go home. This is too much!"
Bruh this is me all the way as someone who is austic and doesn’t like eye contact but I can do it . And control. Thanks for showing
The one about peer diagnosis is so true. I just started working at a new job about a month ago, and I've been talking to this lady and today I actually had a conversation with her son (around my age) who also worked there and after my shift I connected some dots from conversation between the both of them and I'm like 90% sure they both have ADHD or autism (I have both). I do think it's more likely ADHD tho, the son seems to have the hyperactivity bit, and the mom not so much but like it's still kinda there esp with how well we get on.
I don't have an official diagnosis, but I self identify autistic. Interestingly enough, I have had similar experiences with groups of only guys. To be fair, I've never really had a very strong gender identity, but especially as a kid, whenever I would try to hang out with groups of guys, I always felt like they were "getting" something about each other that I just wasn't. Like it seemed like they were all just able to relate to each other on the basis of being guys and being able to bond over "guy" things, and I just never really connected with that. I'm not really sure if that's a common experience for autistic men/nonbinary people but I thought I would share.
I'm not formally diagnosed with autism but a therapist recently asked me if I have considered being screened for autism. This felt so validating because I had been suspecting that I'm autistic for so long. My friends are also majorly neurodiverse and the friends I've had that are neurotypical don't stay my friends very long. I have been diagnosed with ADHD but that was at a time when people were rarely diagnosed with both ADHD and autism. I also think a doctor may have suggested to my mom for screening me for autism when I was a child, and she refused. She's very ableist btw
Only 4 people in my world know I have autism. Acting normally, not being awkward, and attempting not to do strange movements are often some things I try to do. It's tiring. I kind of feel like I shouldn't have to feel so much pressure to be "normal". When I watch these videos it makes me much happier.
I believe in emergency situations like fires and stuff it's that most people would fall back into autopilot or primal instincts, but me being an autistic dude basically autopilot the greater part of social gatherings already on the regular so I beat everyone with experience and look super calm and collected :') I mean if you think about it a fire is just normal life with more fire. The main difference is that with the fire I can actually see clearly what to do about it because they taught us that in middle school :p
I've never been here before. I've been watching this video for 4 minutes, and I've already subscribed.
I almost subscribed by the channel name alone. My life feels like a perpetual "now what?"
Notifications are the bane of my existence as well
"Go make some friends" has literally been on my to-do list since before the pandemic. I just haven't gotten to it yet.
for the panik one I feel like in normal life you don't KNOW what's going to go wrong next, but in emergencies you do because it's happening RIGHT NOW.
It is strange I've never noticed the female friend group thing outside of exaggerated highschool movies 🤔 the traits I hear people describing sound like toxic people traits generally. I noticed these traits in more cliquey groups, both male and female. I had v mixed friend groups and so have my immediate family, I wonder if it's less a gender thing and more am ideology thing. People who are mostly only willing to be friends with their same gender and only interact with the opposite gender if they see them as a romantic option probably won't have the best takes generally lol. I've also noticed it less as I've gotten older. Like, many of my interests have communities that are majority women, I haven't noticed a disproportionate amount of drama with them 🤔
Yes, I don't relate to "women are mean". Yes, in grade 7&8, they were scary!
After that, it all went away. Women are what hold society together. I often feel sorry for my husband and my friends' husbands, as they don't seem to be able to make close friends.
0:40 I'm the exact opposite of this. I'm an extrovert who never does anything social. Believe it or not, but that's a very painful life. Figuratively, of course.
In high school, I didn’t confine myself to a group at all. I was all the groups and none of the groups I was with who I wanted to be when I wanted to, and was with who I wanted to be with when I wanted to.
Whoa this was hysterical! I really love your personality, it makes me feel very cheerful. 😊
I’m neurotypical but I found myself relating to a lot of the memes myself
Thank you so much! What a lovely comment ❤
The autism community might be the best community that I have ever joined
I saw the bee on your sweatshirt and every time you said “Be” I kept looking at your shirt. TMI?
4:15 i always introduce myself by saying hello i'm autistic, and at least in more left leaning friend group it works relatively well only had the other talk to me like was a child like 2 or 3 times out of like 50ish times and i have never talked to those guys ever again tho when it comes to classmates (i'm still a student) i prefer to wait a few month (or weeks if we bond fast enough) and then when they say a "joke" about autistic people i revel to them that i am infact autistic. their faces are always so funny.
@6:48 is a reference to a Marilyn Monroe quote: "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”