Romance scam victim speaks out on "psychological manipulation" that cost her $2.5 million
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 21 апр 2024
- In this web exclusive, “Sue,” a retiree who agreed to speak with CBS News under a pseudonym, says she became a victim of a romance scammer and lost her home and nearly $2.5 million to someone she met on Match.com. She says the fraudsters used technology (including deceptive Skype calls) and “psychological manipulation” to lure her in: “People say, how can you give money to a stranger? He wasn't a stranger at that point." [Don't miss the four-part CBS News Investigation "Anything for Love."]
"CBS News Sunday Morning" features stories on the arts, music, nature, entertainment, sports, history, science and Americana, and highlights unique human accomplishments and achievements. Check local listings for CBS News Sunday Morning broadcast times.
Subscribe to the "CBS News Sunday Morning" RUclips channel: / cbssundaymorning
Get more of "CBS News Sunday Morning": cbsnews.com/sunday-morning/
Follow "CBS News Sunday Morning" on Instagram: / cbssundaymorning
Like "CBS News Sunday Morning" on Facebook: / cbssundaymorning
Follow "CBS News Sunday Morning" on Twitter: / cbssunday
Subscribe to our newsletter: cbsnews.com/newsletters/
Download the CBS News app: cbsnews.com/mobile/
Try Paramount+ free: paramountplus.com/?ftag=PPM-0...
For video licensing inquiries, contact: licensing@veritone.com
Even in a real relationship, the asking for money should have sent red flags.
Exactly !
These types of women will never learn
Build up your own house.🌎
Or
Diamond jewelry makes NICE collateral.
If he asked for $75, it’s fine but not $50k and $100k. That’s crazy stuff
Lack of hygiene experience. You must go with the intervoice
Sending entire $2mil life savings to someone she’s never met-to the point where she sold her house & became homeless/living in her car-seems an obvious question of mental competency.
My thoughts exactly.
I think it’s time to stop blaming the victim. There is no doubt that this person is mentally competent. However, she was probably lonely and vulnerable. We need to take a look at the fact that there are a few protections in place for consumers. This scammer used a commercial dating website and was able to pull off their scam. we cannot trust that our privacy is protected, or that organizations that sell products have our safety and best interest at heart. This makes us vulnerable to scams. Therefore, instead of making it the victims problem, we need to do more education on how to protect people from these types of situations.
@@AGL01772unfortunately, there will never be enough protections to combat people who are so vulnerable and gullible. We will never stop scammers. The only way we can stop it is if we stop allowing ourselves to be victims. Assume everyone is out to scam you until they prove otherwise. You are the only one responsible for your money.
I feel so bad for this lady. I hope that someone would have been there to intervene.
@@AGL01772 what sane person sales their house for a stranger Personal accountability is needed
Exactly! How can anyone be that innocent at an advanced age?? She appears to have the maturity level of a teenager.
The strange part is that if her closest relative asked her for $20,000 she probably would have said no.
💯
You have a excellent point.😢😢😢
Bingo
agreed. however, I have noticed most people in general are only willing to help their significant other. it's not just her.
Absolutely! And so many family are better friends with acquaintances than their own family.
Why isn't a man asking for money a turn off? I don't get it.
Watch out, or you will be someone's next target. A man should be able to work and provide for himself - not ask a woman to support him, especially in terms of tens of thousands of dollars at a time.
Right 😅 Total turn off and non negotiable for me. Grown men who can't take care of themselves or have their own money for their own desires are a big no thank you for me. So pathetic.
Particularly large sums. A hundred here or there is one thing. This person is bleeding thousands out of you
It would be for me. Next!
Anyone asking me for money is a turn off.
A person you’ve never met in-person is still a stranger…
So very true 👍
Sadly, many many times ... People that are in your life under the same roof for decades can still be strangers to you and even enemies. 😔😮💨
Exactly!!!!
Even the ones you marry can end up strangers.
@@roxanab.1626 ... That Part
She worked her whole life and made smart financial decisions, only to give it all away in 8 months to a Nigerian teenager who sent her poems he found on line. 😑😑😐😐
Good and very true summary
That teenager is living like a king now.
Teenager?
Well said. Copying and pasting poems he found online. Sadly that's all it took to get her lifetime savings.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S A NIGERIAN? INDIANS, CHINESE, ETC ALL ARE DOING THIS!
This is insane. Sending 2 million to someone you’ve never met.
I wouldn't send anyone money, even if I've known them 30 years let alone met them online.
@@sableann4255 and that’s why you haven’t lost 2 million. It’s hard to feel bad for these people who are so reckless with their money with no ounce of common sense. Hell, even if I had 2 million and it was my sister who wants to borrow that much money from me, I would tell her hells no. Get a loan from the bank.
She is not alone. There have been other reports.
It's almost laughable she tries to defend herself. Says he wasn't a stranger. Come on, lady.
Your mistake was in thinking that conversing with a stranger online and phone was a RELATIONSHIP.
social media has made people lose their minds. They think online = real life. When in reality it's like a TV show. Not real.
She was naive so so sad
If they don't want to meet you within 2 weeks, and then they cancel the first time, move on. That is your first clue.
A good clue, but not the first. The first clue is saying all the right things.
Exactly. I don't the understand how they end up like this. It must be some shreds of desperation that makes a person think they are in a "relationship" when they have never met
I've seen so many videos from Scamfish that you kinda get a picture of the typical victim and the scammer. The victims are usually older, lonely or stuck in unhappy marriages. The scammer has used some poor unsuspecting guy's images to scam the victims and they usually use younger (late 30s, 40s or early 50s), good-looking guys who are in the army/navy/air force or have businesses and travel to so and so places. The real guy has no idea his social media pictures are being used by scammers and when they do it's usually too late.
In reality, these men would probably not go for these older women and in reality most of them already have families. But all the victim thinks is there's this younger, handsome guy who is giving me all this attention and love. That's why the victims stick with them. They're getting something out of the scam; whether it's an ego boost, validation or the attention they crave that it completely makes them blind to reason. The manipulation is planned in stages and these scammers have scripts they use and a system in place. And when you ask the victims why they keep sending money even though they have never met the guy or even had a video call with him, they'll say they love him. They're that manipulated.
Their is a big difference between a relationship and an illusion.😮
@@jolyfrye1871 Don't be so sure. Some illusions last a life time.
I knew she was in trouble when she said “I can live with him and be poor”. She had already accepted downgrading after working her whole life. Sad. 😔
On some level she realized that she’d been scammed but she was still desperately clinging to a thread of hope for love. 😔
@@lu_re7198 or clinging onto the hope that she would get that money back too.
Victor Hugo, the writer, said that a woman in love could sleep on the floor and live on bread and water.
@@Mario_N64 I don't know Victor Hugo, but he is right in this case.
@@Mario_N64Ah, that “nesting instinct” never goes away.
There were PLENTY of red flags to warn her.
Rich people are just stupid.
@@gothboschincarnate3931 sure are!!
And how!!
The biggest orange flag was men don't fall in love with 70 year old women.
@@acornsucks2111Oh how can you say that.? What a stupid thing to say. Someone her age can fall in love with another person the same age.
Why would you send someone hundreds of thousands when you hadn’t even met them yet? At some point personal responsibility comes into play.
Just can't explain the human mind. Makes no sense
Don't even give money to people you know. 😮
Desparate for love
I know, she is just stupid for sending someone she never met all her life savings
@@kellycarpenter3021 NOPE STUPID FOR LOVE
NEVER send men money
NEVER!!!
Men and women
Or women.
Or anyone. You want to give your money away? Support your local charities. Food banks, clothing banks, people and animal shelters.
@@marylynch951 It's different and you know it.
How kind and brave of her to share this horrendous story 😢
Talking marriage and he isn’t in the same country? Yikes.
Agreed. I can’t imagine this happening to anyone I care about let alone her courage to speak about it publicly. Everyone thinks it can’t happen to them but it can and I thank her for sharing so others may set aside their own hubris.
Brave to share, but blind to think that she was in a relationship when they had never met. .if I don't meet after 1 week, I am losing interest. If I don't meet after 2 weeks, I stop replying
@@oliviatrelles guys go through this all the time spending on women and not getting anything in return what makes her so special?? Gender? I don't get? Is it because the roles are revsered.
@@jawwad1189 1. Most guys I know would take a lady out to a nice dinner or maybe even a weekend getaway and if nothing romantically happened that would be the end of that relationship.
2. I'm a dude and never asked a woman for money, regardless of whether she's a longtime friend or we just met.
I was going out with a man I worked with. He asked to borrow $100 so his car could be repaired & pass inspection. Then he started telling me how his mother was sick and he needed to send money back home for medication she needed. I ignored this thinly veiled request for more money. Next payday, I started asking for the $100 he owed me. After I got it, I stop seeing him, never answered his texts again, and quit not long after.
THAT is how you deal with a scammer. You do not keep giving them money!!
Fantastic. Glad you ghosted him. Any man who needs a woman’s money has real problems.
That a grown man couldn't swing a $100 expense should've been the first sign that he wasn't a viable dating prospect.
@@Raja1938 True. But it was a casual relationship, not anything serious. Plus, without going into details, he had legitimate reasons to be struggling financially. But I could see through his ploy for money "for his sick mom."
whats his nationality?
LIFE LESSON: If you have not met in person, then you're not in a relationship.
So true. Those in denial of it will pay the ultimate price :(
Half the time you aren’t in one even if you meet in person. Never ever give a man money. Men do not ask women for money. SMH
Even if you have met the person, you aren't in a relationship that qualifies money gifts.
If they claim to be a businessman, but they need Your money for their business expenses, that's a BIG red flag. Either they aren't one or they are bad at it.
I’m still sending money to trump
Exactly. Or if they’re constantly “in legal trouble” or “trapped” somewhere.
@gfunk63901 and he will still lose 😂
Exactly, that literally makes no sense
Or they want you to "invest" in their business
as an older retired woman that had plenty of lousy relationships, failed marriage and another marriage ending with hubby od'd and dead I would never send a nickel for anyone let alone $50,000, $100,000 and so on, that is insane on any level
Exactly. Every single time she sent these large sums of money to the scammer, she made a conscious decision to do so. She wasn't receiving threats on her life, request for ransom or any other severe form of manipulation. There needs to be some personal accountability here as well.
I'm not giving 20.00 of my money to just a name on a piece of paper!!!
@@desireesalas5820 I agree 100%. But her bank should also have stopped it. Asked her, why are you sending all your money all of a sudden?
Early on in a relationship, if a man asks a woman for money, that's a red flag.
For sure never send money for any reason no matter how lonely you are
Literally the first second anyone you don’t even know asks you for 3 cents, run!
You don't need to run, just say no. It's like when a vampire asks to be let into your room, all you have to do is refuse. All the power rests with you.
Yes. The power rests with you. Never a nickel , even if you have begun to know them in person. A person who cannot manage their own life will take you down with them. Hard to be alone? Harder to be alone and ruined.
@@anonymous-zn2iv You make valid points; however I'm going offer a slight modification - RUN & Say no!
The vampire analogy is 💯 on point.
How does an "international businessman" need money from someone?
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
His "account was frozen."
Same reason a 'billionaire' political candidate is begging for money all the time. Because they're scammers.
This woman is so brave to share her story in order to help others.
Agree. I like your comment. Not much compassion in these comments here. Lots of judgment.
@@AGL01772the internet is younger than this woman. Literally, ok. ... This is the actual first ever scam people started doing on the internet. Its the reason people were warning everyone about online dating way back in the day. The judgement comes from the fact that it is common knowledge that people will fake being in love with you online to get your money. Its why catfishing became a thing....... She is too old to not be aware of this.
@@AGL01772nobody respect fools
A smart person learns from their mistakes but a brilliant person learns from others mistakes .
There are no smart nor brilliant people who could fall for this in the first place. No need for an example.
@@willissudweeks1050 - showing the whole internet that you are neither & couldn't possibly know w/ that comment. 😜
@@willissudweeks1050 Loneliness will override smartness.
@@maritesshoy317 No it’s called having common sense and most people have it.
@@lindaabraham8715 Not with everyone. There’s a degree of silliness in falling for this stuff.
He was a stranger, dear lady. You never met him.
He doesn't exist
"He wasn't a stranger at this point" sorry to tell you, he damn well was
I agree. But she felt she met him through a reputable daring site. So her guard was done.
He still is a stranger. She has no idea who she was emailing or speaking to and Santos was a fictional character. She never met anyone. There was no Santos to ever meet!
@@rozchristopherson648Dating sites are full of freaks, weirdos and liars. It shouldn't take longer than 5 minutes to realise that!
Love bombing is one of the top telltale signs of a scammer. Definitely when they start asking for money - cut it off. Block them whatever you need to do. It’s easy to believe it when you’re lonely and you WANT to. I wish her well on her recovery financially, emotionally and psychologically.
Not just a scammer but an abuser too
NEVER feel like u have 2 B N A relationship to feel complete. I'd rather have 2 million dollars in my bank account.💸 💸 💸
@@jolyfrye1871 💯
@@i-dash I've seen so many videos from SocialCatfish/Scamfish that you kinda get a picture of the typical victim and the scammer. The victims are usually much older, lonely or stuck in unhappy marriages. The scammer has used some poor unsuspecting guy's images to scam the victims and they usually use younger (late 30s, 40s or early 50s), good-looking guys who are in the army/navy/air force or have businesses and travel to so and so places. The real guy has no idea his social media pictures are being used by scammers and when they do it's usually too late.
In reality, these men would probably not go for these older women and in reality most of them already have families. But all the victim thinks is there's this younger, handsome guy who is giving her all this attention and love. That's why the victims stick with them. They're getting something out of the scam; whether it's an ego boost, validation or the attention they crave that it completely makes them blind to reason. The manipulation is planned in stages and these scammers have scripts they use and a system in place. And when you ask the victims why they keep sending money even though they have never met the guy or even had a video call with him, they'll say they love him. They're that manipulated.
But never blame yourself for being a kind and generous person… pple are
just low
I am so very sorry for this lady. She fell victim because of a desire for love and marriage, which she hadn't realized earlier in her life. In the end, she lost her hope for companionship and all her money. Yes it was naive of her but it was innocent. She is very brave to share this story. I cannot fathom the cruelty of the people who do this scamming.
The cruelty of these scammers is overwhelming. I think Sue was so brave to tell her story, and I pray that she finds peace.
They are sociopaths and have no souls.
I pray she gets her money back and god brings her love
She really needs to sue that company eharmony company! They led her to believe that these were REAL people. If they can’t vet the people in their site, then at this point that stupid site is a Craigslist Ad.
You see it as cruelty but they see it as a gold mine without the hard physical work. The internet is digital, it is a form of obscure communication. I mean if you get asked for 250,000 dollars once and they do not have a payback schedule, then they ask for more, to fall for that is outright stupidity. Do not let your emotions rule your life.
I've been married and had long term relationships, but I'm single now. And no matter how lonely I get, I am never, ever giving a man money. Ever.
Great cause we don't want to see you on the news!😊
I'm 63 and have never been married or had children. Took care of my elderly parents and grandmother for 17 years. I agree with you totally. No matter what, never give a man money.
I'm grateful for my pets. They never ask for money.
They can get costly but I'm grateful for my two dogs !
That's because I work for them.
NEVER EVER give money to someone you are dating. You can buy travel tickets and take them along if you want, but NEVER EVER give them money.
yes, yes, yes.
What do you think, is it okay if you are in a relationship?
@@RippleDrop. NO NO NO. The scammer convinces the mark they are in a relationship. Then comes the sad scam story to steal money. A few dollars, not more than $20 maybe. If they need money because they lost their passport or need money to escape a problem to come see you blah blah blah, it is always a scam.
Realistically she wasn’t dating this person. They had never met.
@@goldenparachute392 Well she thought they were in a relationship. Same thing.
WOW ! In her head, this guy was not a stranger. Realty check : HE WAS A STRANGER! If she had an active, balanced life, she would have blown him off quite quickly and would have understood she was in a scam. Reality check: she never once met him and yet she thinks he is not a stranger and even worse -- sends money? Seriously? This was an ongoing fantasy in her head that was not at all reality based. Hope she gets the counseling she deserves.
The fraudsters know exactly who to target...the elderly or widowed women are the most vulnerable because of loneliness. It's horrible because she spent years of her life preparing for retirement and now she doesn't have money to support herself.
They don’t just target the elderly, they target everyone! Anyone at any time can be a victim. This is a massive problem and with no repercussion for these scammers it will keep on getting worse.
Yes. This is called Limerence. Can develop into a severe psychological condition. I truly believe this is her case. Very sad.
@@VintageLady56💯💯💯
Practice the phrase
‘ that sounds hard. I am sure you will find a solution. No I don’t lend or give money to anyone. I will keep you in my prayers.’
Give them the phone number to the bank.
I wouldn't give a family member $2.5M; much less a stranger.
My mother taught me growing up to don't let people f*** with your money. She taught me this way before the internet. Sorry this happened to you.
Good mom!
She's a smart woman
Yep ! Same way I was brought up !
You were lucky. My mother was so desperate to see me married that she put my life in danger numerous times, starting when I was in High school. I finally quit all contact with her until I realized she was dying. By then I wasn't her focus.
She explained so well how these scammers manipulate their victims' minds. Guard your minds, your hearts, your bodies, and your lives.
And your wallet
@@lindaslattery8341 Yeah, that too!👍🏻
This is what parents need to teach their children!
@@leanordials8008
Agree 💯
Only gullible people fall for this.
I read that if you retire on 1.3 million you’re comfortable. If you retire on 2.3 million you’re wealthy. Where was her financial advisor? If I wanted to withdraw such sums mine would be all over this.
How much do you pay your financial advisor? How long have you had them, and what did they do for you?
Where was everybody in her life, friends, family??
@ritaroad Also, where was her bank? My bank puts a stop on my debit card the one time a year I buy jewelry from a lady based in Texas; she rents a booth at the WI State Fair every year. I have to call them and answer all the security questions to prove that yes, it's me making the purchase. My bank would probably send me a fraud alert if they suddenly saw large amounts of money disappearing from my accounts.
Exactly
"He wasn't a stranger at that point"! say what! No meeting in person, no video chat, no vetting of this person in any way...thats a hard lesson to learn ma'am. It's bizarre that a person can see themselves as trapped and punished when all they needed to do was hit delete.
Well said 👏
"Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone." Shouldn't this be the very first thing? This should be a warning for everyone. If this scammers are so good at what they do, people should be aware of this before they hit their 70's or 80's.
And even if you get manipulated a few times I don’t see how you could give away EVERYTHING.
Are the scammers good at what they do or do we still have an extremely gullible society? I just can't believe the amounts of money she shelled out for someone she'd never met.
I'm a fan of the show "AMERICAN GREED" and is always fascinating what people of all generations are willing to believe just to be part of something. On TV there are commercials for products that are clearly a scam, but as long as the Networks post a disclaimer they avoid culpability.
The fact that she was willing to live with him even if she was poor 🤦🏻♀️
A female senior friend in my 55+ retirement community is currently in a “relationship” with a “solar installer German man who supposedly is an international traveler. Like “Sue” in this video, my friend has never been married. She lives alone and owns her own home. I’ve sent her numerous romance scammer stories including this one! It’s been a year of her online romance and his numerous excuse making no shows. It’s baffling. My friend is a highly educated woman with a MSW degree. She should know better. And didn’t answer my past questions about giving her fantasy scammer money 💰. It’s downright unbelievable how emotionally hooked some people become when their fantasy misconceptions overpower common sense & logical thinking!
Why on Gods green earth would you EVER send money to someone you've never met in person?
1st red flag: they dont want to meet in person
2nd red flag: ask you to invest, actually any money involved is a red flag.
This is the reason I go without "love" and "companionship".
I'd rather be alone.
@nancydemoss2945 Me, too. My motto: I'd rather be lonely than miserable.
Good thing I don’t have any money so I don’t attract any scammers.
Same🤣🤣🤣
DITTO.
Exactly
😂😂😂
A very good reason to appear as if one has no money.
It's amazing how often this is happening these days. Even with many public warnings, people still fall for it.
Scammers are very convincing.
My husband of 40 years died in early 2014. In late 2016 I joined OK Cupid. 3 men tried to romance me.
Messaging me that we would have a wonderful life together ! What before talking on phone or meeting in person? This was a clue something was not right. I had to pressure each one to speak on the phone and when they called they ALL had accents ! The next step would be them asking for money but I told each one scram once I heard the accents. Why in the world would would any woman send $ to a stranger? Desperate much? I was lonely but not desperate!
Did they call you their ‘queen’? That’s a dead giveaway. Glad you didn’t get scammed. 😊
@@ericb8413 -ha ha no they didn't say that! I copied a romance scam warning off the FBI website and posted it on my profile and I told them to read it and BUG OFF!
These dating sites have become the digital hunting grounds of these scammers. For a small membership costs it opens them up to a pool of potential victims.
@@TheQueensWishexcept more and more they use Facebook, it doesn’t take much more than common sense to ask oneself why are they writing random people, saying “you’re so pretty, please respond” or some other similar response. I can’t believe this lady…🤦♀️
@@Emm325 Well of course, that’s even cheaper. It’s free isn’t it? And … they can sift through their targets info looking at photos and old posts and mining them to open conversations: “You like dogs! Oh my dog will love you!” “Oh, do you like lakes? Let me teach you stand up paddle boarding when the weathers nice …. if you’re adventurous.” etc, etc … they mirror whatever they observe of you to get their foot in the door.
Whether someone is a stranger or not, do NOT send money to ANYONE. PERIOD. The moment they ask you for money, end all communication.
My heart goes out to her. What an awful lesson to learn in your 60's...I hope she'll be okay.
I feel the same way. What a heartbreaking situation. I'm grateful she has such compassionate friends.
60s? She looks 79
It sounds like she was a high-income earner, and she has to be getting social security benefits. If not, then she's going to have to get back to work. I wonder if she can get a part time job and build her savings back up. Sad story and this is so common. I pray for her to be well more each day.
She is a smart woman when it comes to business. I am sure she can stay afloat. She may not retire a multi millionaire but she will be ok.
It’s so sad
Gullibility and desperation. Some women in their sixties and older believe a much younger person has fallen in love with them. They send them money. They believe far-fetched stories. They lose all logic and common sense. Yes, she is a victim and he is a terrible person. However, she fell for a scam because she was desperate to be with someone.
I understand loneliness but I will never ever understand why anyone would send all of their hard earned money to someone they haver NEVER MET. Makes absolutely no sense. 😮😳
I'm sad she was lonely and felt that "Santos" was just the guy to fill that void.
@@carmarasmussen8118maybe dementia ?
Get a dog. Better than any man, and dogs love to cuddle, unlike most men.
@@user-nv8nt6gm2d Good idea. A dog will ask to sleep in your bed, but NEVER ask you for money. A Milkbone at most.
Where were the employees of your bank? Someone there should have questioned these large withdrawals from someone who didn’t spend money like a crazy person … then suddenly starts.
Why are the people in this world not looking out for each other????
Not their responsibility. This is all on her. She was stupid.
WHY was she so vulnerable to an obvious, hollow offer of "love" when she'd been a functioning single woman all her life? WHY did she not discuss her "lover's" request for money with her "dear women friends" before sending first money? WHY does she acknowledge "Santos" was just a scam-script, yet describe the scam as SO clever and manipulative? I wasn't; it was painfully obvious that a stranger e-mail milking you for millions does not "love" you.
Great questions 👍
I love how some people are finally using their critical thinking skills again and questioning things (not you: others in this section 😊)
People are beginning to understand that not all is what it appears to be, today...
And when do you utilize your CTS?
It starts with a "hmmm..." 🤔
That comes from your gut. Your intuition.
Because it is never wrong. Ever
She says one thing but is actually something else. Women like this are not perfectly fine without a man. She gave up her house for Enrique Santos ConCheetos.
2.5 mill............... AND a house! Yeasus.
For someone so smart when it comes to business, she sure is naive about other things.
Hopefully, "Sue's" story will help others avoid the scam she suffered.
Every time I see these videos I say "I hope it will be this one to deter the next one or even the masses" but it seems these stories placed end to end could wrap the globe a million times over. Imagine the ones too embarrassed to even tell. 💔
What about the millions of other stories out there about this? The problem is they don't want to listen...you can't help them! They need someone to take over their life choices and finances...not Boyfriends or Girlfriends
It won’t. These women can’t be helped.
Sadly, people aren't likely to learn from mistakes of others. Our own experiences tend to mean much more to us.
Nope. There are hundreds who are sending money to their new loves as I type this response.
Crazy.
Never send money.
You hadn't even met the man.
If you haven't met in person, then they are still a stranger.
1. I wouldn't "loan" more than $1000 to even a friend because that can ruin a wonderful friendship. and 2. Never loan more than you can afford to strike a match to and set on fire, even for a friend. Even friends can disappoint you and you want to be able to walk away knowing you still protected your future. Loaning or giving money away is like gambling at a casino, it's entertaiment, not a financial decision. The house always wins.
They tried that with me almost 10 years ago, but I figured it out somehow, and walked away with my mind intact. I was extremely lucky. I feel for this woman. They make up a name, a place where they live, and what they do. If they say their widowed, no matter how old they are, walk away.
I get messages from strangers sometimes on Fb, they see my profile and assume I’m alone or something, and they tell me they like my profile or comments and they’re a retired surgeon (they’re always surgeons, haha). I block and report them. I feel so sad for the women who don’t know how to recognize scammer messages, wherever they’re from.
One started calling me in the middle of the night claiming he was in the military in Afghanistan. Apparently when my neighbor's phone was hacked, he'd found my number and photo. Amazing that I was able to figure out he was Nigerian - true story - called him on it and told him if he continued, I'd contact the FBI. That was the end of his calls. But he started out with some complimentary comments that were red flags. Plus he sent a photo of himself, claiming to be a real person here in the states. I found the real guy's info and realized there were just enough discrepancies that I knew he was a scammer.
Why are people so sexist? My co-worker’s 66 year old ex-husband fell for a scam like this, so it’s not only women.
It goes both ways, I agree!
We're not, there have been comments about men too, but it's far more common with women.
Women are more open to talking about it when it happens to them.
Just WHY?? why are so many women determined to find a man, despite all we intellectually realize about them?
I don’t get it either. But it took me decades to get over the fascination with men and romance. I don’t have a romantic bone in my body, today. I prefer the company of dogs.
@@user-nv8nt6gm2dI could've written that! Well said.
An extremely obese (former) male friend told me he was done trying to find a woman and was just going to sit at home, eat and get fatter because none of us women need him, we all have di+do$. Apparently he only wants a woman partner for S#x and doesn't think he might want to work on himself a bit to attract the right person.
It's important to do your own personal work and feel good about yourself, so you'll have the right motivation before expecting others to do that for you.
It's not just women
I feel sorry for this lady, but the person was a stranger. She never met him yet continued sending thousands at a time. If you’re manipulated that easily from having millions to zero, then there’s something internally wrong with you.
She started off sending HUNDREDS of thousands., to a total stranger, love bombing and copy and pasting poems to her. Saying they love you a week into the "relationship". WTF is wrong with people???
You have the luxury of being judgmental and making that assessment. Given that you're obviously so superior to her, please don't expect any empathy should you one day fall prey to a scam.
@@Lynn.B. I won’t expect any sympathy because that will never happen to me. I’m not gullible or stupid.
@@DillDough4u "...because that will never happen to me." Famous last words.
@@Lynn.B. 😘
Really?? Someone you never met isn't a stranger? This is simply desperation ladies. Smh..
Why would anybody send money to someone who they never met in person is beyond me.
Love is blind.
FOR THE LIFE OF ME--I get why someone who might be lonely/desperate could fall for a romance scam. But if you haven't met the person in real life and taken the time to get to know them and do a background check, why in god's name would you send them money? Why would you send them money at all??? I don't give men money--period. And if they ask, they are gone. Period. And I damn sure wouldn't give a man I never met money. Jeezus ladies...use your heads and don't let your hearts run away with your common sense!
If you meet a person online and all they do is ask for money, that's your clue to run.
This still happens today, the show Catfish has people giving thousands of dollars to people they never met, some never even heard their voice and for years!
Anybody who truly cares for you will not ask you for massive amounts of money. IMO, being broke is far worse than loneliness.
I got scammed by an old friend from high school. Our mothers were best friends. Turned out he was a liar and a thief. Be careful of old friends from the past who have a financial crisis.
NEVER believe anyone whose saying they love you and wants to get married when they've never even met you!!! Even then it takes time to get to know someone. And NEVER GIVE A MAN YOUR MONEY!!!!
Wow. 2 million dear lord
These victims know they are being scammed but their loneliness is so vast they would rather gamble their life's savings than lose that daily dopamine dose the scammer gives them. It's an addiction. And yes. I'm an older single woman and there is absolutely no way some online Romeo would get a dime out of me. Fill your life with goodness that doesn't depend on romantic infatuation. That's your armor.
You’re right. They get the hit of dopamine just like any addiction provides. Very sad.
How on earth could you send two MILLION dollars to a person whom you’d never met? I hope I am never that lonely.
Or gullible
Get. A. Dog.
Someone on the other side of the world is now just filthy extremely wealthy.
Probably not some of these scammers are victims themselves
@@somethinggood-sy1ed wrong.
A fool and her money are soon parted.
I would even question a good friend asking me for money
So sad. This is why I will never go on a dating app. I’d rather be single the rest of my life.
Same! But this can even happen to someone you meet the way people traditionally met.
Same! Amen..
You can go on a dating app, you just have to use your brain.
So sorry this keeps happening to good people that want a relationship. The internet has made a big world small. We lock our doors but open up our homes to crooks through the computer anyway. It's not only the guy outside your house that's scary but the ones you let in via the internet, too.
Well said!
You never met him!!! He was a stranger!!
Ladies love is free!!!
A true man never ask a lady for money!!
Thank God my father raised 4 daughters the old-fashioned way l. With high standards and morals.
I had someone asked me for money on a dating site. My response was that if you could not afford to date, you shouldn't be dating.😂
Count your blessings but take your victim-blaming shaming elsewhere. Comments like that keep ppl from sharing their stories & fools stay ignorant.
@@maritesshoy317 Agree.
You were lucky. Not all women are raised by fathers like yours or mothers who weren't door mats.
Childhood trauma of lack of love. There are severe consequences to that. This situation is a manifestation of that.
This is incredibly sad. She obviously was vulnerable and naive. Shame of the piece of trash that did this to her.
Learn how to be selfish with your money and you'll be better off.
Learn how to be selfish with your time as well. If an individual cannot meet in person because he has to take a business trip or some other unverifiable reason, that should be a red flag too.
Most people are lonely to start with, especially older people. The internet causes people to be even more so. And "romance" on the internet is really people "falling in love" with an image in their mind. Then they fool themselves into believing what they want, not what is real.
You are right. I am 71, and since the age of menopause, and more and more, the wise person has to assume that anyone who shows any interest in you only does so in hopes of gain.... They want something.
@@lindaabraham8715
Right, so find the person who wants companionship.
@@lindaabraham8715 I agree and I'm forty nine. I've felt that way for a few years. Even if it's not financial gain they may want emotional support and don't really offer anything.
The thing about this situation is that how are you in a relationship with someone who you never met in person let alone spend time with in person.
I hope she’ll come to realize how much freedom she actually does have, regardless of money.
I don’t understand anyone that would give money to a stranger.
I went through this too. It's heartbreaking & I still blame myself.
I’m so sorry.
❤❤❤
The person scamming you makes a living scamming woman and maybe men. It is their job.
It is all ages, both genders. They all have niches that they become an expert at. Once that money is sent electronically you pretty much can’t get it back. And she was lucky they didn’t go further and have her involved in the actual scamming itself.
@jennifercassidy256 I went through this, too, but when he started to ask for money I walked away. That doesn't make me smart; it made me lucky. It's so easy to get pulled into this.
@@hildeschmid8400 very lucky.
Why would the secret service be involved in romance scams?
That was my question!
Yeah that sounds like another layer of the scam.
A "successful international businessman" should never need your money. Personally, I would never give my money to any man. If he has the gall to ask you for your money, tell him to take a hike. Remember, a fool and her money are soon parted, so don't be a patsy.
Sorry that this lady got "loved-bomb" and manipulated by an emotional con artist.
I feel bad for her, she is courageous to speak out. There is a big hole on the telling of this story. How in the world was she convinced to send someone her life savings in Asia?
These people--men, women, young, old. He wasn't a stranger, he wrote her a poem - she should type it into a computer because it'll probably tell her who wrote it and when.
That's one pricey poem. There once was a man from Nantucket , who tried to sit in a bucket, someone finish for me, I can't finish you see, I put down my pen and said #$@$ $%.😂 Quick, send me a million dollars........honey.
These days you can get an AI to write you a decent original poem in 5 seconds for free. I just asked ChatGPT for “write me a short love poem to a lady with green eyes” and here’s what I got:
In emerald depths, her gaze does lie,
A verdant hue beneath the sky.
Each glance, a whisper of nature's grace,
In her green eyes, I find my solace.
With every blink, the world takes flight,
In her eyes, I lose myself each night.
Her gaze, a forest where dreams abide,
In her green eyes, love's secrets reside.
So let me drown in that verdant sea,
Where love's purest essence flows free.
For in her eyes, I find my home,
With her, my heart will always roam.
@@studleyjb3172 he called women Honey, and asked them for money, but all he got from them was Fuc#-it. I see we're on the same thoughts!
Lmao these highly educated women are cutting payments for 50k plus to someone they’ve never met before after weeks of being fed poetry lines…
Even if I have met u. Don't start asking me 4 money. I am not a bank. 🏦 If u cannot stand on your own 2 feet 👣, then we should not B friends.
Them boomers be crazy.
I remember hearing someone say, know what you are hungry for because that is what might lead you into falling for a lie. (I’m not blaming her at all, I just think it is a good thing to know).
In other words, do your personal work and know yourself/love yourself. That way you won't be a target for scammers
Wow. That’s the highest I’ve heard now. I thought the two women that gave a million dollars each to romance scammers were bad. Sad to say that this scam will never go away. 😢
It not psychological manipulation. It’s stupid is as stupid does.
Definitely be suspicious of someone who keeps gushing over how much they like you in the early stages. That's lovebombing.
There's no way I'm sending a guy money either.
Men or women in love tend to drop their guard and do things they would never otherwise do. If you've ever been in love, you know what that means.
Nah
Honey , you don’t need a man you need to focus on your golden years
A bit late for that advice. 😆
This is exactly right! This is the core of the problem
Some ppl can’t move on from their youth.
@germanshepherd6638 You need to rewatch. She started her story with saving all that money for retirement.
Amen she can have mine and all the work he comes along with!! Lolz 😂
My heart goes out to her. We have to be fiercely protective of our money, our children and our freedom. We don’t get second chances when we are old. It’s only 1 life.
Poor woman... but there are PLENTY of similar cases out there to be learned from. Still, we all say "not me" at least once in a lifetime. Tough lesson.
I think I'm jaded. I find it a huge red flag if I'm asked for money.
You don't understand what you are talking about if you have never been through some kind of scam. Don't be so generous with your advises. Worked all her life and lost it at this age, poor lady. I hope she finds a way out of this.
How can an intelligent career woman be this naive? Never meeting this guy she hands over two and a half million dollars?
If you're that lonely get a cat or a dog.
This shows how the need to feel loved and needed can override our rational minds. This has nothing to do with intelligence. It's much more profound.......
Here is the thing: The man is the one with the money. If he asks a woman for money, even one dollar, he is on the take; he is not a natural man. Never give a man money, never give a man a ride, never give a man a roof. This is his job... a man who thinks that the woman should do for him is not a man. The woman gives the pleasure of her womanly company and that is all. Think all you want about equality, but if a woman sticks by these rules she will stay out of trouble.
I agree only up to a certain point. Older men and women who are both decent people and both of limited means can enjoy great times together by splitting costs of dinners, tickets, gas, whatever. Sensible, honest, fair people can have fun this way, and should.
Well, that's certainly thinking inside the box! Would love to know more about this natural man stuff... going to pleasure myself now with womanly company.
lol "the pleasure of her womanly company." You mean constant complaining?
@@user82938woman complain because men do this thing where when a woman is in a good mood, a man will sneer at her.... So. A bad mood cant be ruined. You get what you get
@@ellebell9139 lol that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.