Window of Tolerance -An Essential Skill for PTSD, Trauma and Nervous System Regulation
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- Опубликовано: 20 мар 2024
- Talking about trauma can make things worse. I’m a therapist, and I know how valuable it CAN be to talk about trauma, but when you don’t understand your “Window of Tolerance” talking about trauma can backfire.
Because the trauma response is rooted in your nervous system, when you recall trauma, your brain can get stuck, overwhelmed, flooded or dissociated. And you might not even notice it.
And that’s why understanding the “Window of Tolerance” is absolutely essential to doing trauma work, it’s probably one of the first things your therapist assesses without you even realizing it.
And when you do understand your window of tolerance, when you can stay in your window- it makes it possible to talk about trauma, process through it, and move forward,
So in this video we’ll talk about the three states of your nervous system, the two common pitfalls of trying to talk about trauma, and the practical skills you can use to widen your window of tolerance so that you’re more resilient in the face of stressors or trauma.
Window of Tolerance, PTSD, Trauma, Dissociation, nervous system, PVT, Polyvagal- High Functioning dissociation
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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This is why I quit therapy. I don’t want to rehash over and over what happened in my childhood. It is like living it all over again.
Not all therapists make you do that! Sorry for what happened to you❤
Which is great if you know how to deal with the fallout when the trauma is triggered. Her tools are about effectively dealing with the trauma and the fallout without rehashing it over and over. I've had both kinds of therapists, the ones who want you to talk it to death as the only cause for every problem I've ever had and the ones who say to forget about it and the associated problems will go away. Neither works. Emma's do. Good luck.
My therapist is great about not talking about trauma and working with solutions only. I don't talk about my trauma with them often.
there are many different kinds of modalities in therapy. you didn't use the right one for your needs.
Yes! Talk therapy has only depressed me, never helps!
This is really helpful, I was finding it hard to accept my doctor wanting me to stop diving in deep with my trauma and problems so much. To me it was working on my issues and bettering myself but I see clearer now that I was constantly triggering myself and making my anxiety so much worse 😅
True...
I used to do the same...initially ....and then shut down completely and be non functional for days...
So much that I started getting scared of even trying to go over the traumatic thoughts...
As it is ...triggers...even in minor form would end up giving me horrible nightmares...
I have struggled with insomnia...but with the awful nightmares...I would actually dread to even go to sleep...
The sub conscious absorbs a lot from our thoughts...
So meditation and auto suggestion helped me...
Hope everyone going through this terrible chronic trauma response heals well.🎉
This video was like the light clicking on that I needed. Might have to rewatch it a couple of times a week for a reminder. This is fantastic.
Me too. I got stuck in a loop. I pulled myself out and said enough healing. Time to move forward with my life ❤
yeah, i have done the same. hope you find a way to be gentle with yourself
@@shellbellhealing that's a great way to put it, hope you're doing well :)
My mother was diagnosed with alzheimers about 6 years ago... come to find out few weeks ago, that she was misdiagnosed and in fact she has very complex PTSD... she lost her reading and writing skills, memory was disrupted and her speech was compromised d/t the extensive amount of clutter of her thoughts....I am now training myself to help her with this diagnosis...it's tough.. and also looking for a trauma therapist..it's hard...so I appreciate very much all your lessons...I have learned a lot so far and pray mom's neurological system heals deeply
I hope both you and your Mom are doing better. I think I’m dealing with a similar CPTSD and Dementia situation, and you are the first person I’ve heard say that they have gotten a diagnosis for the CPTSD. And after 6 years! This gives me hope. Would you mind saying how the new diagnosis came about, and any tools you are using to help her, and if you’ve seen any improvement? Thank you for sharing.
EMDR therapy seems to be covered by insurances… gentle way to address the trauma and feelings associated with it
Was your mom aware that her thinking was off or was she in denial that there was anything wrong? Thank you
Me too! I hope the best for you all! I have cptsd with dissociation and bi polar 2 and pseudodementia. Had neuropsych testing last year and 10 years ago. I’m 48 now. Have struggled not knowing how to drive, burning my hands cooking, crazy stuff! Finally with a trauma specialist for the last year will eventually get to the emdr. ❤
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I tried to work through my trauma and the world shut me down because no one can be uncomfortable. This is the power of stigma and it is stigma that is killing people.
ya, it's fabulous - everyone can say they have it but don't be real and don't talk about it and don't ask for help. If you aren't pretty and perfect the world says then just disappear or shut the F up
Did you get shut down by therapists?
@@juliz2500 my only child committed suicide. The therapist insisted I scheduled sessions during her business hours which also happened to be during my work hours. I had no choice but to go back to work. It's only me. It's work or be homeless on top of devastating grief so I tried to hide in a corner with the lights off so I could do my sessions. After having the wound reopened, having to explain the awful details of what I saw, the session abruptly ended because time was up. Then I had it try to Go on with my work day which was another story altogether so yeah I kind of got shut down. And yeah I was told that my therapist understood what it was like to lose someone cuz she lost her nephew also super not helpful off. Putting hard to hear and frustrating. If that counts for being shut down then yes.
@@sonyaaune9058 I'm so sorry, that must be incredibly hard.
Sounds like your therapist wasn't a good match for you at all. I can recommend Gestalt therapy or any therapy that includes regulating the nervous system. Also, it's very important that you can build trust with your therapist. I'm guessing you're from the US, your system seems to be built to treat employees like machines which is awful.
Need real friends who love u
My husband left earlier this year. People have been shocked and want to hear about my marriage. I tell them that the best thing about him finally leaving is that I never have to go over just how crappy we were together again. Most seem relieved.
God Bless You ❣️good luck😇
I know that feeling. Everyone that loves me truly was so happy for me when I divorced. I have few I talk to about it. It was 7 years of the hardest times I experienced in my now 47 years
The window of tolerance is about staying between overwhelm and avoidance. If you’ve already processed then it’s not avoidance, but if you have processed it then it shouldn’t be triggering to mention. You can still not talk cause it just sucks and will not make u feel good, but be careful that you aren’t avoiding processing because it will cause the past relationship to distort future behaviors
I was relieved to hear that "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypo-arousal" 9:40 is a thing others experience too. When reacting to stress I can feel simultaneously profoundly dismal and keyed-up to the point of nearly vibrating. A confusion of sensations that creates its own stress!
I legit had this 'vibrating' thing this morning. For a split second I noticed it inbetween getting up and then resting then getting worked up and slumping into the couch and then I realised I was vibrating like a "whomping" feeling. It happens alot but sometimes I notice it more than other times
@NeonDungeon If it's any help to hear... It isn't a permanent condition. I've had some of the best times of my life since the first time my body tried to convince me my world was caving in. What you're going through that's brought on vibrating isn't permanent. I'm seeing ways that psychotherapy has advanced which could turn the corner on ever having to go through this in the future.
I'm kind of there again myself. Oddly enough, it (life crisis) has happened roughly every ten years. I wish I'd learned sooner that a) sometimes talking about what's stressing me isn't the best therapy, b) physical self-care is *foundational* to well-being (exercise, diet that reduces empty calories and toxins exposure while increasing dense nutrition, sunlight bathing early in the morning without sunglasses, valuing sleep regularity), and c) increasing rest by giving up inoffensive activities isn't effective to achieving relief from stress, increasing strength to tolerate stress is where I need to focus. My old pattern of backing off from activities never helped for longer than it took to fill up with more thinking about everything that was wrong. Getting busy building myself up so there's less time for ruminating is the new goal. Let me add d) I need to identify someone in my life who can walk with me as I revamp how I address these new steps. I wonder if there's a group near me where I can find a "build a healthier me" buddy. Maybe associated with a gym but better, I'm sure, if it's also someone who understands stewardship of all we have to be grateful for.
@@kathrynarnold1966 That's what I always feel that doing it with someone will be so much less lonely and daunting . Where do you live?
@klpnaGupta I'm told that divulging location to strangers via social media is bad form.
I sometimes get physically hyper-aroused (typically flight response) while emotionally/mentally going into hypo-arousal (it typically feels like dissociation).
It's the weirdest combo and super hard to catch until I'm deep in it and usually takes a couple days to recover
Thank you so much! Really solidified all the things I've been going through all my life, . I started trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me when I was 26. Diagnosed with PTSD and DID at 50. Now 77, all the advances in science and mental health, I am much better. This info is helping me so much!
Most mental health and therapists tell you don't give much thought to it, you are staying in the past, you have to give it up and move on, but most of them don't teach the methods to overcome it.
Thank you very much for all that wisdom. I was always wondering how to do it.
Lady you're saving my life
Second that!!
This is the first time I've heard about being in a prolonged state of hypoarousal. You always hear about hyper, and I don't have that response, but I've been in that hypo state for a couple of years, I go to work but that's about all I can make myself do. I'm totally numb, I don't feel anything except anger, my brain doesn't work for the simplest things, I forget conversations and details that I shouldn't, but I'm really good at masking. I was in a DV relationship years ago, got better for awhile, and thought I still was because I wasn't having the visceral reactions like elevated heart rate and feeling shaky. No therapist ever talked about the shutting down and numbing out part. The only thing that causes that hyper reaction is anything that makes me feel vulnerable, like crying even in a very appropriate situation, it makes me feel like I'm actually going to die if I break down, even though I know I won't. The thought of feeling anything painful or distressing is terrifying
Bless you- I can relate. X
I totally understand I feel as if I live in bubblewrap and sounds /feelings are muffled I have had really really bad stuff happen to me beginning as a toddler only other time or way I could describe it as if im constantly in tht dreamy world of waking up right after surgery I know I over react for me to appear normal to ppl but in reality I'm sleep walking
I had a grievous experience and breakdown… to the point of continual headaches, migraines and depression:
I didn’t trust anyone, and when I tried talking about it… it made my situation worse: I even considered suicide, but then my mind began to consider a different approach and direction…
Though I needed healing.
I do have the same kind of thoughts!I hope we all heal from this!
Wow, you really understand the traumatic stages the human brain goes through in the moment, from immediately reducing access to the prefrontal cortex right down to collapse and submit, and after the fact. Impressive. My only hope, for you, is that you didn't have to learn this first hand like so many of us.
Thank you for becoming trauma-trained and for sharing that knowledge, for free, with the world.
Excellent comment! I agree wholeheartedly.
Thank you for at least mentioning the faun response. It really doesn't get enough recognition, and for many people, it's the greatest barrier to improving mental health because the people around them enjoy it so much, support gets really hard to get. Would love a video addressing that alone. Maybe you already have one. Will look.
Edited to correct confusing autocorrect typo
This!
I'll share something that happened today about the point at the end about the impact of your overall physical condition. I had an overnight flight this weekend with no sleep and then got sick. I've been coughing and running a fever all week (not COVID, thank goodness!). This afternoon I was in bed and started to fall into despair and flooding thinking about some of the bad things that trigger me. I managed to turn my attention to the sensation of my back on the bed, which gave me enough space to say "This isn't real, this isn't a good time for this. You're sick, think about something else." That was enough to get my head together so that I can process some of these emotions when I'm feeling better and better able to do it. Good old CBT to the rescue!
So great! Glad you were able to do that! Good job sir! ❤
Hi Emma, so sorry your baby is having health issues...Best wishes, everything is going to work out, hang in there ❤️
Sorry to hear about your baby. We are here to listen if you want to share more. Sending lots of love 💖 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷.
OMG, I get it finally! Don't know why this has been so hard to grasp, but this cleared it up for me. Best explanation I've seen! Thank you!
I recently went through a traumatizing situation at my previous workplace and I’ve had to talk about it when meeting with potential employers. It’s shocking how difficult and triggering it has been to talk about it even a bit. I’m thankful for this video and these grounding techniques.
Thank you for continuing to educate and help us out here in cyber space even while going through a medical crisis of your own. I hope your baby heals completely and is good as new very soon!
Last two years I’ve been close to losing my home for shutting down avoiding work. Currently working my way back but I’m around 7 payments behind. I hope I’m able to keep fighting through this. This page along with other RUclips channels have been of great help.
You’re not alone. Some stress or trauma piles up after a while. Glad you’re dealing with it.
@@notabannedaccount8362 thank you. Also through it all my wife and I have had 4 miscarriages and plenty missed opportunities because I got exploited at work. Got stuck for so long because it felt and still feels like leaving it behind is forgetting about my children. It’s a weird feeling. All I can say ketogenic diet plus fasting and channels like this are life changing.
00:00 🧠 Understanding the "Window of Tolerance" is crucial for effective trauma work.
01:19 🚨 Recalling traumatic events can reinforce trauma responses, hindering progress.
03:02 💥 Trauma responses like fight/flight/freeze hinder emotional and cognitive processing.
05:44 🛑 Trauma survivors often get stuck in hyperarousal or hypoarousal states, impeding healing.
08:25 🛌 Hypoarousal is a protective numbness state triggered by perceived threats.
10:41 📉 Hypoarousal may lead to feeling burnt out, numb, and disconnected.
12:02 🔄 Resilience-building activities can expandone's window of tolerance.
13:43 🔍 Therapists help individuals recognize and regulate their window of tolerance.
14:07 🧊 Grounding skills help soothe hyperarousal; gentle activation aids hypoarousal.
16:27 📝 Self-awareness, grounding, and activation skills aid in widening the window of tolerance.
For many of my clients, I tell them that retraumatization can be just as harmful and I respectfully shift to grounding skills (like waking up the physical senses)
I’m a counselor, and have likely worked with over 12 counselors over the course of 30 years and exactly one of those counselors utilized “grounding exercises “.
I'm so happy that you made this video. today I had my second session with my new therapist and I experienced this. after she asked me about something I ended up talking about something I had forgotten about but apparently I went into one of those modes because she stopped me and said we would touch on it later..I felt drained and still do and really depressed when I felt fine before I went ..this helps me sort of understand what happened to me.thank you
It will be interesting to see if the therapist does circle back. I had one who would always do what she said. I havenone who "forgets" (even tho she takes notes) and doesn't go back. I feel like a kid who has gotten away with something since I dont have to talk about it. But then I feel like I have a secret left back on a different table. Maybe not the best. I moved away from my last therapist who never left things hanging. Total bummer.
Nightmares and abject fear come forward when I talk about it but I've made up my mind that I'm not living like this; I am stronger than this, I have to be and this isn't life!
Well, I was curious about why I went from freeze into panic before I came back to groundedness again. I guess that really just is now it works.
Oh my, this was insanely helpful! I love that you're explaining what we can do independently without necessarily resorting to a therapist.
It is so much easier said than done on your own. For me, a therapist is necessary to keep me in bounds.
What to do when Hypoarousal has become the default function? Years, nearly a decade, of being stuck in this state transforms a person into a shell of being inside a castle of isolation
I'm not a therapist but I understand where you are at. Mindfulness and gratitude practices helped me to feel more alive. I was able to consciously move my attention out of thinking mode and focus on sensations (of my choosing) which made me FEEL more alive x
For the first time, this week, a trauma was brought up to me and for the first time I experienced an incredibly anxious reaction. I was surprised because I’ve had a lot of trauma, but this one was just too much.
I’ve been stuck in it for months
My whole life ive been shifting in between these states. So much so that i was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. So so happy to find an explanation for my inability to be consistent.
your work has been so valuable for me in my mental health journey. i appreciate that you relate your life experiences to the context of your videos, it helps feel connected to what you're saying and its very brave of you to share these things with us
I find myself feeling indecisive about what videos to watch because you have so many helpful videos but I’m not sure which ones will be the most I can relate to and be able to use to my benefit based on my struggles and issues. My biggest struggle is dealing with very intense emotions around social interaction, and then when I’m not in social situations I think about past or previous ones and these feelings resurface. On top of this I would like to say your videos have been a great help and I’ve already learned so much but I find myself feeling anxious again about the same things every day even if for quite a few hours I’m able to be calm and have a parasympathetic response(I believe that’s what it’s called) I’ll be honest I also don’t really know what the names of the emotions are that I’m feeling and it makes me overthink on what skills to use to calm myself down and feel them. Even typing this right now is making me feel kind of sad thinking about it. I tend to feel this stuck feeling when trying to process my emotions sometimes because I’ll be overthinking what skill I should use because I don’t understand how to name what emotion I’m feeling. I don’t know what emotions I’m feeling. I also am having trouble feeling present and in my body so that I can take on my emotions because I am continuously overthinking and I also feel like I have to constantly process my emotions to be ok all the time. I’m not sure if I’m being obsessive or if this is normal either. Please help me. Thanks for all the free help online I couldn’t have made such a drastic change in My life without you.
Hey there! Just wanted to say that it took me a long time to be able to name emotions as well, so I definitely relate to your comment. I think this is something that many people with overwhelmed nervous systems struggle with and you’re not alone. Turned out I was feeling a ton of repressed anger and resentment.
Something I've found helpful is guided vipassana meditation. Vipassana includes being mindful of the body during meditation and it improves my awareness of how stress expresses itself in my body. It also taught me a way of handling being triggered that has been helpful. Deal with the emotion you're feeling, including the physical aspect, "without the story attached to it." Basically, you're grounding yourself in the present moment and focusing on identifying and re-regulating what's happening _right now_, which is emotion. It separates the past from the present so that you can re-regulate rather than re-traumatize. If I can sit with the emotion and work on re-regulating, which is difficult but not draining or arousing, it will pass. I struggle with it, but I'm a comparative newbie in terms of recognizing that I was abused and traumatized. It will come.
This is really helpful. Ive been doing this for decades no wonder im exhausted. The system keeps you stuck in this loop.😢
Thank you for being aware enough & honest enough to discuss these issues.
This is so great and refreshing to find. Going through ptsd or any trauma is not easy, is not a straight line either. Even if you are getting therapy you come to a point that you are basically on your own working yourself through the ups and downs. Thank you very much for voicing it and explaining it so clear and simple !
This was very informative. I have been feeling like all the hardships I've had to go through has made me less resistant. I did not have a word for it or knew how to express it, but now I know that my window of tolerance had shrunk.
I have been working through my trauma from last one year. But I really feel different from last two months. I can sense my mood getting better day day. Grateful for your helpful videos on trauma. 🎉
This was so educational and helpful! What happens to me when I say, get a text that triggers me, I have a few seconds of feeling numb then it immediately goes to fear in my abdomen. My face is hot, my heart is racing. I'm all emotion. Then the physical reactions subside but then I cry. I'm still in the dissociated state, which is when I feel like a shamed child. I've just recently learned that dissociation is what's happening to me. I hadn't realized before that dissociation has different levels/degrees. But now I realize why I feel as if I intellectually know I'm emotionally flooded and thinking differently but emotionally I can't stop it, than I do once time has passed and I reflect on how I was in the episode happened. Thank you for all your efforts to help so many 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Golden! Your teaching gift for combining and simplifying complex issues with concepts, clarity, practical examples and illustration is fabulous. Identifying and showing how to deal in each three nervous system levels is new to me. Window of Tolerance is a great, easy idea to evaluate and improve. Thank you so much!
A great gift you give to everyone watching is that you give people the tools to fix what's not working instead of going over the negative stuff and saying if you buy my therapy session I'll be able to help you. What you do shows you truly care about the people watching your videos. And your methods work. I truly appreciate finding such valuable information. And, ironically, I will be purchasing your therapy sessions. See how well that works.😉
Thank you for a brilliant video. It was new info for me that you cant go from hypo to the window straight away, that you end up in hyper first, before window. I have kinda noticed that already, so great to get it confirmed.
And when it comes to hypoarousal, i personally dont think it just "looks like" depression. I think that IS depression, in general for people. Not everyone has the diagnosis PTSD, but the more i learn about the nervous system and stress and all of it the more i realize that almost all of us are carrying a lot of unprocessed stress within and that itself will make us go into both hyper and hypo.
My trauma therapist also shared this with me and I found it super helpful self-awareness & self-help guide. It's great you're sharing this here with all.of us, Emma, thank you! 😊
This is so informative and helpful for me. I’ve been able to explain what was happening to me as an overactive nervous system due to trauma but didn’t know it was “known” experience… I thought it was just happening to me. Thank you for what you do, it’s such valuable information.
Thank you so much Emma. I hope you baby gets better really soon. You are amazing and the world is a much better place for having you in it. Thank you ❤
I've been having issues with another volunteer when volunteering at local foodbank. She gets annoyed if I get in her way. The other day she really upset me so kept out of her way for the remainder of the time she was there (she left before me) I left with a banging headache and wondering whether it was worth continuing. I went home feeling upset and still had the headache next day. I have decided not to make any rash decisions and decided to take a break for a couple of weeks and revisit it after Easter. I feel triggered around people who make me feel that I have no right being there and those who speak down to me because of previous ex-partners, a narcisstic brother and was bullied at school. Since I have been on my own I struggle to be around people who give off negative energy.
Dude, love the visuals in this presentation. When you stood on the chair and the camera panned up to hyperarousal -- transcendent. If you're interested in feedback -- although it makes sense to put Hypoarousal beneath the window, it also creates some awkwardness. When you say about your time in the hospital (9:22) that you were "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypoarousal", this visualization frames The Window Of Tolerance as being the space between those two states. Since you say at the end that the path back to a regulated state from hypoarousal usually passes through hyperarousal, maybe experiment with some different orientations / visual metaphors. Really illuminating video in any case. Lately I've been contemplating how to discern "emotions" from various states of dysregulation, and your videos on the nervous system states have been very helpful. Thanks again.
I am working at these issues and it is so difficult. Your videos are so helpful! Thank you for sharing and in a way that makes sense. 🙏
This is the first time I've seen someone explain how to get out of hypoarousal and that it looks like going to hyperarousal and then back down. I get stuck in hypoarousal a lot and it's frustrating trying to come out of it, but now that I see it's usually going from hypo-to-hyper... It makes so much more sense and I can more clearly understand the goal for getting out of it.
This is incredibly informative, and the framework you outline really helps me understand how to practice for these moments/periods. Thank you for sharing.
Emma, you went with the imperfect recording with the cling that bothered you -- way to go!! 💪 Proud of you!
I had an aha moment during this video in thinking about the #1 life stressor I have that seems impossible to solve bc it is an old trigger-even tho the problem is complex. Its complexity mirrors “old business.” It was when you explained hypoarousal & activating methods. Thank you!
!!!!! Your lessons are just so good!!! Thank you!!
You helped me through the worst time of my life a few years ago, and you’re still teaching me about myself.
The information you provided was really helpful! I took notes so I could work on this over time. Thank you for this video. I’m wishing you and your family all the best as you tackle your baby’s new diagnosis; I can’t even imagine how stressful that must be. You’re in my thoughts. I appreciate your willingness to open up and relate your own experiences to what you’re teaching - it makes the information that much easier to understand. Take care!
Exposure is not the same as analysis of the issue, skills to manage and process, and to accepting bad events happen and we do not have to remain in that event. We are not weak for having these issues or ridiculous for having triggers/inflexible boundaries.
I am rocketing back and forth between hyper and hypo-arousal. I have been for years since I had an emergency quad bypass. It allowed me to leave a job that was so stressful it was killing me. I couldn’t help but be grateful that this happened. I spent my entire life in one traumatic situation after another. I pushed it all away with my brain telling me I could handle anything. After the bypass and years of complications I experienced the death of my only grandchild due to an overdose and more recently my soul puppy. My brain said “I’m done, had enough of all of it, ain’t doing it anymore.” I stopped opening my mail, stopped paying bills, stopped cleaning my house and shut down in every way possible. Now I’m reliving my whole life and feeling guilty about every failure and sin. Can I restart some remnant of my life? I do not know. I’m praying. I’m so disabled from lack of movement I can barely walk to the bathroom. The end seems very close.
Don't let people break you down.
@@aaishasingh3565 I learned that lesson early in life sweetheart but the last woman at my job was my downfall. She was evil and she hated me and she won the battle for my sanity.
I’m really glad you did this video. I just turned 50 and I’ve never heard this was the case before. Which means it’s likely not talked about much. Very beneficial information I intend to use!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the public. When you explain things, I can understand.
My challenge is implementing the practices on a regular basis in order to see improvement. I was stuck in hyperarousal for about a year following my traumatic experience. I was a jittery mess but I was at least functional. Now sadly, I've been stuck in hypoarousal for nearly 3 years. I've stayed nearly completely shutdown. You described my experience in hypoarousal perfectly.
Now, if only I could figure a way to change my habits to engage in life again and stop dissociating.
Seems like this hypoarousal is just inevitable, been thinking a lot recently that no one can help me. I don't know where to even begin, I've been this way for my entire life.
There has always been some sort of trauma going on in my life, abuse, neglect, isolation, detachment, death. I don't believe I have a window of tolerance anymore.
Same! So far what’s been making it more manageable is being outside 2+ hours a day 🤷🏻♀️
One of the biggest problems in our social system is hyper individualism, which leads to a permanent feeling of guilt. Yes, we have responsibility for solving our problems, not guilt! There is an entire system that values human competitiveness and destructiveness (wars, environmental destruction) and this impacts the mental health of those who are most sensitive. I'm a psychologist here in Brazil and the worsening of mental health after the pandemic is impressive. What saves me in many moments (I'm an introvert) is the integration of mind, emotions and body. "Getting out of myself" by being in contact with nature, with my dogs and walks in nature feed the senses!
After my breakdown I had to stop all social activities… completely confused and disappointed regarding the cause… and a five year deep depression.
But then notice that my muscles were going into a state of atrophy and I needed to get out and exercise:
Though the company I worked for had a gym, I thought it was boring and a television that was too loud… it was time to reach into my past and take up an activity that was enjoyable.
I also found myself reminiscing on the “good times” of my childhood.
But knowing that I needed to be in the present and be a responsible adult:
The only positive side…
I didn’t marry and no children: and employment wise, I was good with most jobs I did.
But the one thing I had to learn was how to tolerate and adjust or adapt my emotions to meet the challenges of situations which became disagreeable.
Thank you so much for being here for all of us! ❤
Amazing Emma. This is communicated in a way that assist self ware folks but also folks who haven’t heard of these concepts. Excellent!
thank you your video arrived just in the right time much appreciated as always
❤ Thanks Emma, we pray for you and your family.
My thoughts are with you and your baby...I can relate😊.
The way you dissect these topics make them so easy to understand. I always learn so much from you.
One thing I keep seeing in so many of the self help videos ,that I have watched,...... Heartfelt Laughter is very helpful in healing ❤❤❤
Girlfriend is over here saving ppl's lives and sanity and still made a little blurb about her shirt. SO CUTE! Thanks Emma for what you do.
Btw I have pushed myself to start conquering my driving anxiety and your latest series has become an invaluable resource.
Congrats on your New Baby Girl Emma ! I'm keeping you ALL in Prayer ! GB
Please never apologize for such things as your shirts fit. No one I have listened to resonates with me as you do. What you do here and how you help is beautiful and kind. I have a hard time asking for help, but I find it quite easy to praise where it's deserved.
I have C-PTSD and the way i have been going about life is to tell every new person i meet my traumatic experiences, in hope that they understand the pain i have gone through...
obviously i clicked this video to see how bad of an idea it is for me to do this.... I don't want to hide my trauma because then the same exact traumas that have happened to me will happen again.
For me, talking about it is a tool for others to treat me properly....
Only the trustworthy people in your life who have *earned* your trauma story are worthy of hearing it.
This was a response I had too. Id shock myself (and be mortified) when I'd spill the trauma with someone I hadn't seen for 3 years and happened to run into at a grocery store. So embarrassing.
Thank you! I'm planning on talking about some trauma that was very intense and I've never spoken of before in therapy. This will help me be more careful and aware while attempting it. As yes I've been overwhelmed by trying to talk about trauma before. I think little bits at a time and journaling helps me be safe about it. ❤
Thank you… it’s been a difficult couple weeks, and today I just couldn’t find a way to self-regulate. This was really really helpful, and incredibly informative… 🤯 I understood what I needed to do!
Thank you so much for all these information. I truly appreciate it
You and your videos are a , God send! I don't feel as hopeless! I can not thank you enough! A lot to practice, but, I am not alone. Thank you!!
Super super helpful. Thank you Emma. I’m learning so much from your work. You have the best way of explaining things! Seeing you move above and below the window really visually helped me to understand this concept so much more easily 🙏🏻
Woah I will have to listen to this a few times. I’ve read so much about the window of tolerance and the nervous system, and yet this video tells me so much more and lays it out to where everything connects together. Thank you!!!!!
This was a great video. I really like how you put words and pictures on the screen with this one
Thank you the concept of hypoarousal was very helpful 🥰🙏 was the missing piece I needed so really appreciate the info.
This is such a well done, informative and helpful video.Thank you for sharing your personal experience.Sending prayers to you and your family.❤
So much good stuff in this video. Lately my window is a porthole of tolerance
How does trauma from a single incident (say a car accident or a rape) differ from trauma from months or years of multiple experiences (ex: an abusive relationship or a tour of duty in a war)? How does the approach to treating them differ? Is one more recoverable than the other?
Great question
...or an accumulation of both.
@calicocooperfan My therapist says trauma can come in these ways: too much too soon, too much all at once, or too much for too long (including not enough for too long). EMDR is immensely helpful to some (myself included) for all of these.
Thank you for your wonderful videos. Sending prayers to you and your little one❤️
Excellent explanation of the window. Thank you again for your clear and calm explanation.
This was so helpful, thank you. Also, great presentation and editing.
1. Find a therapist that understands you.
2. Be honest. Tell them everything.
3. Not all methods work for everyone.
4. It can take years, before it gets better.
❤❤ Another life changing video that is saving lives and healing souls. You and your team are honorable angels ❤❤ thank you 😊💐
Thank you! Your insights bless my life.
You’re an angel ❤
Bless you for all you’ve done for people
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with the public
THIS!!! this is eye opening to me thank you so much
Fantastic video! Great info in it, good questions that I will get back to. Thank you so much. Very helpful.
thanks a lot! this is very helpful. exactly what I needed to hear.
Good topic thank you for posting this video
thankyou soomuch for every thing you have done emma ❤❤
I’m sorry about your baby and good luck to you and all your family.
9:13 Thank you for sharing your experience with this kind of thing. It helps me feel more compassion for myself knowing that anyone and maybe everyone struggles like this. I wish you and your child the best possible health and peace. Take care.
That’s a great video! Always love your insights and information!
Emma! Great video 😊and thank you very much for your personal story.
Thank you! I need to find this window in my life.
I have literally had trauma, stress and abuse my entire life. Literally since I was a toddler which is when my memories begin. I am 62 and don’t ever remember not living in either of these state however I have spent the majority in hyper arousal. I am wound so tight sometimes I cannot breathe.