This is a general comment to all therapists doing trauma work. Sometimes clients don’t want or need to ground. We need to be angry and resentful and hyperaroused and accepted as we are in that state in the therapeutic environment. It took me ten years to find an appropriate practitioner who understood that. As soon as that happened, I could stop doing the labour of explaining why hyperarousal was necessary for healing and I began making incredible progress. One size does not fit all and sometimes we have to feel the intensity in order to do the deep healing work.
this thought is a bit unrelated, but kinda the same idea- when i was really grieving and struggling w the trauma of quitting choir/theater during hs after basically being bullied out of the program, i was so so so angry. like fuck sad, i was just so hurt and upset and angry. and the thing that made me the angriest was when i tried to confide in loved ones and they’d constantly say “i think you just need to let it go and stop talking about this 🫤 it’s not healthy for you to hold onto this anger and keep thinking about it”. which like, sure, if i had remained just as angry years later, that wouldn’t be healthy. but this was only a few months after everything had happened and i was struggling and grieving and it felt like my trauma and grief were just an inconvenience to everyone around me and it felt like no one understood the value of allowing yourself to be upset and angry and just feel it for a bit. it still hurts to think about and can definitely get me amped up/triggered, but it’s not on my mind the way it was before. bc i let myself be angry and sad and hurt for as long as i needed, and the intensity of those feelings decreased w time. so i agree, don’t constantly tell ppl not to be angry, sad, [insert other negative emotions] bc as long as it’s being expressed in a healthy way, it’s part of the healing process to feel your feelings and accept them as they are
00:00 🧠 Understanding the "Window of Tolerance" is crucial for effective trauma work. 01:19 🚨 Recalling traumatic events can reinforce trauma responses, hindering progress. 03:02 💥 Trauma responses like fight/flight/freeze hinder emotional and cognitive processing. 05:44 🛑 Trauma survivors often get stuck in hyperarousal or hypoarousal states, impeding healing. 08:25 🛌 Hypoarousal is a protective numbness state triggered by perceived threats. 10:41 📉 Hypoarousal may lead to feeling burnt out, numb, and disconnected. 12:02 🔄 Resilience-building activities can expandone's window of tolerance. 13:43 🔍 Therapists help individuals recognize and regulate their window of tolerance. 14:07 🧊 Grounding skills help soothe hyperarousal; gentle activation aids hypoarousal. 16:27 📝 Self-awareness, grounding, and activation skills aid in widening the window of tolerance.
This is really helpful, I was finding it hard to accept my doctor wanting me to stop diving in deep with my trauma and problems so much. To me it was working on my issues and bettering myself but I see clearer now that I was constantly triggering myself and making my anxiety so much worse 😅
True... I used to do the same...initially ....and then shut down completely and be non functional for days... So much that I started getting scared of even trying to go over the traumatic thoughts... As it is ...triggers...even in minor form would end up giving me horrible nightmares... I have struggled with insomnia...but with the awful nightmares...I would actually dread to even go to sleep... The sub conscious absorbs a lot from our thoughts... So meditation and auto suggestion helped me... Hope everyone going through this terrible chronic trauma response heals well.🎉
My mother was diagnosed with alzheimers about 6 years ago... come to find out few weeks ago, that she was misdiagnosed and in fact she has very complex PTSD... she lost her reading and writing skills, memory was disrupted and her speech was compromised d/t the extensive amount of clutter of her thoughts....I am now training myself to help her with this diagnosis...it's tough.. and also looking for a trauma therapist..it's hard...so I appreciate very much all your lessons...I have learned a lot so far and pray mom's neurological system heals deeply
I hope both you and your Mom are doing better. I think I’m dealing with a similar CPTSD and Dementia situation, and you are the first person I’ve heard say that they have gotten a diagnosis for the CPTSD. And after 6 years! This gives me hope. Would you mind saying how the new diagnosis came about, and any tools you are using to help her, and if you’ve seen any improvement? Thank you for sharing.
Me too! I hope the best for you all! I have cptsd with dissociation and bi polar 2 and pseudodementia. Had neuropsych testing last year and 10 years ago. I’m 48 now. Have struggled not knowing how to drive, burning my hands cooking, crazy stuff! Finally with a trauma specialist for the last year will eventually get to the emdr. ❤
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
This is the first time I've heard about being in a prolonged state of hypoarousal. You always hear about hyper, and I don't have that response, but I've been in that hypo state for a couple of years, I go to work but that's about all I can make myself do. I'm totally numb, I don't feel anything except anger, my brain doesn't work for the simplest things, I forget conversations and details that I shouldn't, but I'm really good at masking. I was in a DV relationship years ago, got better for awhile, and thought I still was because I wasn't having the visceral reactions like elevated heart rate and feeling shaky. No therapist ever talked about the shutting down and numbing out part. The only thing that causes that hyper reaction is anything that makes me feel vulnerable, like crying even in a very appropriate situation, it makes me feel like I'm actually going to die if I break down, even though I know I won't. The thought of feeling anything painful or distressing is terrifying
I totally understand I feel as if I live in bubblewrap and sounds /feelings are muffled I have had really really bad stuff happen to me beginning as a toddler only other time or way I could describe it as if im constantly in tht dreamy world of waking up right after surgery I know I over react for me to appear normal to ppl but in reality I'm sleep walking
DV really twists things around in the brain. I went through covert emotional abuse and live in hypoarousal a lot too. It's so hard to get out of that state. I try to appreciate even the tiny moments that feel like coming up for air. Best of luck to you on your journey 💕
Most mental health and therapists tell you don't give much thought to it, you are staying in the past, you have to give it up and move on, but most of them don't teach the methods to overcome it. Thank you very much for all that wisdom. I was always wondering how to do it.
After escaping a narcissist I was obsessing about writing a book where I reveal all his dirty business. I was shut in, drinking every night, chain smoking, eating myself to sleep if I could sleep at all… Soon I felt like I was trapped in an ever escalating nightmare for years. I binge-watched all the true crime shows while I’m a very sensitive, empathic person… I don’t know what I hoped for. No relief came… I had to put down booze, start working out, detox from media, and after 6 months a magical “let go” moment happened where I forgave them and myself, and I let go all my trauma so their won’t define me anymore. Nobody told me before that trying to get through trauma with the wrong methods can actually make it much worse. Now I know. Btw, the “revenge book” was never published - maybe it’s for the best. Thanks for the video, it was very useful.
I was relieved to hear that "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypo-arousal" 9:40 is a thing others experience too. When reacting to stress I can feel simultaneously profoundly dismal and keyed-up to the point of nearly vibrating. A confusion of sensations that creates its own stress!
I legit had this 'vibrating' thing this morning. For a split second I noticed it inbetween getting up and then resting then getting worked up and slumping into the couch and then I realised I was vibrating like a "whomping" feeling. It happens alot but sometimes I notice it more than other times
@NeonDungeon If it's any help to hear... It isn't a permanent condition. I've had some of the best times of my life since the first time my body tried to convince me my world was caving in. What you're going through that's brought on vibrating isn't permanent. I'm seeing ways that psychotherapy has advanced which could turn the corner on ever having to go through this in the future. I'm kind of there again myself. Oddly enough, it (life crisis) has happened roughly every ten years. I wish I'd learned sooner that a) sometimes talking about what's stressing me isn't the best therapy, b) physical self-care is *foundational* to well-being (exercise, diet that reduces empty calories and toxins exposure while increasing dense nutrition, sunlight bathing early in the morning without sunglasses, valuing sleep regularity), and c) increasing rest by giving up inoffensive activities isn't effective to achieving relief from stress, increasing strength to tolerate stress is where I need to focus. My old pattern of backing off from activities never helped for longer than it took to fill up with more thinking about everything that was wrong. Getting busy building myself up so there's less time for ruminating is the new goal. Let me add d) I need to identify someone in my life who can walk with me as I revamp how I address these new steps. I wonder if there's a group near me where I can find a "build a healthier me" buddy. Maybe associated with a gym but better, I'm sure, if it's also someone who understands stewardship of all we have to be grateful for.
I sometimes get physically hyper-aroused (typically flight response) while emotionally/mentally going into hypo-arousal (it typically feels like dissociation). It's the weirdest combo and super hard to catch until I'm deep in it and usually takes a couple days to recover
I tried to work through my trauma and the world shut me down because no one can be uncomfortable. This is the power of stigma and it is stigma that is killing people.
ya, it's fabulous - everyone can say they have it but don't be real and don't talk about it and don't ask for help. If you aren't pretty and perfect the world says then just disappear or shut the F up
@@juliz2500 my only child committed suicide. The therapist insisted I scheduled sessions during her business hours which also happened to be during my work hours. I had no choice but to go back to work. It's only me. It's work or be homeless on top of devastating grief so I tried to hide in a corner with the lights off so I could do my sessions. After having the wound reopened, having to explain the awful details of what I saw, the session abruptly ended because time was up. Then I had it try to Go on with my work day which was another story altogether so yeah I kind of got shut down. And yeah I was told that my therapist understood what it was like to lose someone cuz she lost her nephew also super not helpful off. Putting hard to hear and frustrating. If that counts for being shut down then yes.
@@sonyaaune9058 I'm so sorry, that must be incredibly hard. Sounds like your therapist wasn't a good match for you at all. I can recommend Gestalt therapy or any therapy that includes regulating the nervous system. Also, it's very important that you can build trust with your therapist. I'm guessing you're from the US, your system seems to be built to treat employees like machines which is awful.
Thank you for at least mentioning the faun response. It really doesn't get enough recognition, and for many people, it's the greatest barrier to improving mental health because the people around them enjoy it so much, support gets really hard to get. Would love a video addressing that alone. Maybe you already have one. Will look. Edited to correct confusing autocorrect typo
My husband left earlier this year. People have been shocked and want to hear about my marriage. I tell them that the best thing about him finally leaving is that I never have to go over just how crappy we were together again. Most seem relieved.
I know that feeling. Everyone that loves me truly was so happy for me when I divorced. I have few I talk to about it. It was 7 years of the hardest times I experienced in my now 47 years
The window of tolerance is about staying between overwhelm and avoidance. If you’ve already processed then it’s not avoidance, but if you have processed it then it shouldn’t be triggering to mention. You can still not talk cause it just sucks and will not make u feel good, but be careful that you aren’t avoiding processing because it will cause the past relationship to distort future behaviors
I recently went through a traumatizing situation at my previous workplace and I’ve had to talk about it when meeting with potential employers. It’s shocking how difficult and triggering it has been to talk about it even a bit. I’m thankful for this video and these grounding techniques.
Thank you so much! Really solidified all the things I've been going through all my life, . I started trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me when I was 26. Diagnosed with PTSD and DID at 50. Now 77, all the advances in science and mental health, I am much better. This info is helping me so much!
Wow, you really understand the traumatic stages the human brain goes through in the moment, from immediately reducing access to the prefrontal cortex right down to collapse and submit, and after the fact. Impressive. My only hope, for you, is that you didn't have to learn this first hand like so many of us. Thank you for becoming trauma-trained and for sharing that knowledge, for free, with the world.
I LOVE the tone of your voice. So many mental health professionals use what they see as a soothing tone that I find fake and judgy. You sound real. Love it. Thank you.
I had a grievous experience and breakdown… to the point of continual headaches, migraines and depression: I didn’t trust anyone, and when I tried talking about it… it made my situation worse: I even considered suicide, but then my mind began to consider a different approach and direction… Though I needed healing.
I'm so happy that you made this video. today I had my second session with my new therapist and I experienced this. after she asked me about something I ended up talking about something I had forgotten about but apparently I went into one of those modes because she stopped me and said we would touch on it later..I felt drained and still do and really depressed when I felt fine before I went ..this helps me sort of understand what happened to me.thank you
It will be interesting to see if the therapist does circle back. I had one who would always do what she said. I havenone who "forgets" (even tho she takes notes) and doesn't go back. I feel like a kid who has gotten away with something since I dont have to talk about it. But then I feel like I have a secret left back on a different table. Maybe not the best. I moved away from my last therapist who never left things hanging. Total bummer.
My whole life ive been shifting in between these states. So much so that i was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. So so happy to find an explanation for my inability to be consistent.
Last two years I’ve been close to losing my home for shutting down avoiding work. Currently working my way back but I’m around 7 payments behind. I hope I’m able to keep fighting through this. This page along with other RUclips channels have been of great help.
@@notabannedaccount8362 thank you. Also through it all my wife and I have had 4 miscarriages and plenty missed opportunities because I got exploited at work. Got stuck for so long because it felt and still feels like leaving it behind is forgetting about my children. It’s a weird feeling. All I can say ketogenic diet plus fasting and channels like this are life changing.
This was so educational and helpful! What happens to me when I say, get a text that triggers me, I have a few seconds of feeling numb then it immediately goes to fear in my abdomen. My face is hot, my heart is racing. I'm all emotion. Then the physical reactions subside but then I cry. I'm still in the dissociated state, which is when I feel like a shamed child. I've just recently learned that dissociation is what's happening to me. I hadn't realized before that dissociation has different levels/degrees. But now I realize why I feel as if I intellectually know I'm emotionally flooded and thinking differently but emotionally I can't stop it, than I do once time has passed and I reflect on how I was in the episode happened. Thank you for all your efforts to help so many 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for continuing to educate and help us out here in cyber space even while going through a medical crisis of your own. I hope your baby heals completely and is good as new very soon!
Sorry to hear about your baby. We are here to listen if you want to share more. Sending lots of love 💖 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷.
I'll share something that happened today about the point at the end about the impact of your overall physical condition. I had an overnight flight this weekend with no sleep and then got sick. I've been coughing and running a fever all week (not COVID, thank goodness!). This afternoon I was in bed and started to fall into despair and flooding thinking about some of the bad things that trigger me. I managed to turn my attention to the sensation of my back on the bed, which gave me enough space to say "This isn't real, this isn't a good time for this. You're sick, think about something else." That was enough to get my head together so that I can process some of these emotions when I'm feeling better and better able to do it. Good old CBT to the rescue!
I find myself feeling indecisive about what videos to watch because you have so many helpful videos but I’m not sure which ones will be the most I can relate to and be able to use to my benefit based on my struggles and issues. My biggest struggle is dealing with very intense emotions around social interaction, and then when I’m not in social situations I think about past or previous ones and these feelings resurface. On top of this I would like to say your videos have been a great help and I’ve already learned so much but I find myself feeling anxious again about the same things every day even if for quite a few hours I’m able to be calm and have a parasympathetic response(I believe that’s what it’s called) I’ll be honest I also don’t really know what the names of the emotions are that I’m feeling and it makes me overthink on what skills to use to calm myself down and feel them. Even typing this right now is making me feel kind of sad thinking about it. I tend to feel this stuck feeling when trying to process my emotions sometimes because I’ll be overthinking what skill I should use because I don’t understand how to name what emotion I’m feeling. I don’t know what emotions I’m feeling. I also am having trouble feeling present and in my body so that I can take on my emotions because I am continuously overthinking and I also feel like I have to constantly process my emotions to be ok all the time. I’m not sure if I’m being obsessive or if this is normal either. Please help me. Thanks for all the free help online I couldn’t have made such a drastic change in My life without you.
Hey there! Just wanted to say that it took me a long time to be able to name emotions as well, so I definitely relate to your comment. I think this is something that many people with overwhelmed nervous systems struggle with and you’re not alone. Turned out I was feeling a ton of repressed anger and resentment.
i want to add that not knowing what emotions you’re feeling is called alexithymia. if it’s a temporary/situational state, such as with PTSD flareups, it’s secondary alexithymia. if it is something that you always struggle with (in other words: it’s your normal baseline) then it is primary alexithymia. primary alexithymia is often connected with autism and/or adhd. this is not medical or therapeutic advice, it’s just info i’ve learned and wanted to share in case you found it applied to you or would be helpful.
As a long covid survivor, I can't do anything that I used to and I lost everything several times over. I am in hypoarousal. It is too much. That is why I am trying to watch a lot of these videos. Consider doing something on chronic illness, please.
I’m a counselor, and have likely worked with over 12 counselors over the course of 30 years and exactly one of those counselors utilized “grounding exercises “.
your work has been so valuable for me in my mental health journey. i appreciate that you relate your life experiences to the context of your videos, it helps feel connected to what you're saying and its very brave of you to share these things with us
Thank you for a brilliant video. It was new info for me that you cant go from hypo to the window straight away, that you end up in hyper first, before window. I have kinda noticed that already, so great to get it confirmed. And when it comes to hypoarousal, i personally dont think it just "looks like" depression. I think that IS depression, in general for people. Not everyone has the diagnosis PTSD, but the more i learn about the nervous system and stress and all of it the more i realize that almost all of us are carrying a lot of unprocessed stress within and that itself will make us go into both hyper and hypo.
A great gift you give to everyone watching is that you give people the tools to fix what's not working instead of going over the negative stuff and saying if you buy my therapy session I'll be able to help you. What you do shows you truly care about the people watching your videos. And your methods work. I truly appreciate finding such valuable information. And, ironically, I will be purchasing your therapy sessions. See how well that works.😉
This is so great and refreshing to find. Going through ptsd or any trauma is not easy, is not a straight line either. Even if you are getting therapy you come to a point that you are basically on your own working yourself through the ups and downs. Thank you very much for voicing it and explaining it so clear and simple !
For the first time, this week, a trauma was brought up to me and for the first time I experienced an incredibly anxious reaction. I was surprised because I’ve had a lot of trauma, but this one was just too much.
Golden! Your teaching gift for combining and simplifying complex issues with concepts, clarity, practical examples and illustration is fabulous. Identifying and showing how to deal in each three nervous system levels is new to me. Window of Tolerance is a great, easy idea to evaluate and improve. Thank you so much!
I have been working through my trauma from last one year. But I really feel different from last two months. I can sense my mood getting better day day. Grateful for your helpful videos on trauma. 🎉
This was very informative. I have been feeling like all the hardships I've had to go through has made me less resistant. I did not have a word for it or knew how to express it, but now I know that my window of tolerance had shrunk.
This is so informative and helpful for me. I’ve been able to explain what was happening to me as an overactive nervous system due to trauma but didn’t know it was “known” experience… I thought it was just happening to me. Thank you for what you do, it’s such valuable information.
My trauma therapist also shared this with me and I found it super helpful self-awareness & self-help guide. It's great you're sharing this here with all.of us, Emma, thank you! 😊
Thank you so much Emma. I hope you baby gets better really soon. You are amazing and the world is a much better place for having you in it. Thank you ❤
I had an aha moment during this video in thinking about the #1 life stressor I have that seems impossible to solve bc it is an old trigger-even tho the problem is complex. Its complexity mirrors “old business.” It was when you explained hypoarousal & activating methods. Thank you!
!!!!! Your lessons are just so good!!! Thank you!! You helped me through the worst time of my life a few years ago, and you’re still teaching me about myself.
This makes so so so much sense. I recently switched from a cognitive behavioral therapist to an emdr therapist, and it was AWFUL! Part of it was my work schedule drastically changed so I didnt have that outlet (work is positive for me), part of it was I was dealing with tendonitis so I couldn't do many activities that are normally grounding for me (music, crocheting, writing), and we were trying to unpack these painful memories but we never got anywhere because I just got stuck in a flood of PTSD symptoms. Now when I go to therapy again I know what sorts of ideas to bring up to hopefully make actual progress in managing my condition and living more inside the window of tolerance. Thank you!
This is the first time I've seen someone explain how to get out of hypoarousal and that it looks like going to hyperarousal and then back down. I get stuck in hypoarousal a lot and it's frustrating trying to come out of it, but now that I see it's usually going from hypo-to-hyper... It makes so much more sense and I can more clearly understand the goal for getting out of it.
Girlfriend is over here saving ppl's lives and sanity and still made a little blurb about her shirt. SO CUTE! Thanks Emma for what you do. Btw I have pushed myself to start conquering my driving anxiety and your latest series has become an invaluable resource.
What to do when Hypoarousal has become the default function? Years, nearly a decade, of being stuck in this state transforms a person into a shell of being inside a castle of isolation
I'm not a therapist but I understand where you are at. Mindfulness and gratitude practices helped me to feel more alive. I was able to consciously move my attention out of thinking mode and focus on sensations (of my choosing) which made me FEEL more alive x
For many of my clients, I tell them that retraumatization can be just as harmful and I respectfully shift to grounding skills (like waking up the physical senses)
Thanks for being here I don’t know what I would do without you none of my paid therapists have talked about the stuff you have I really needed these videos Thankyou ❤
Please never apologize for such things as your shirts fit. No one I have listened to resonates with me as you do. What you do here and how you help is beautiful and kind. I have a hard time asking for help, but I find it quite easy to praise where it's deserved.
Dude, love the visuals in this presentation. When you stood on the chair and the camera panned up to hyperarousal -- transcendent. If you're interested in feedback -- although it makes sense to put Hypoarousal beneath the window, it also creates some awkwardness. When you say about your time in the hospital (9:22) that you were "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypoarousal", this visualization frames The Window Of Tolerance as being the space between those two states. Since you say at the end that the path back to a regulated state from hypoarousal usually passes through hyperarousal, maybe experiment with some different orientations / visual metaphors. Really illuminating video in any case. Lately I've been contemplating how to discern "emotions" from various states of dysregulation, and your videos on the nervous system states have been very helpful. Thanks again.
I saw the short you made about hypoarousal, and watched this. I’ve been in that state for about 10 months. Thanks for this video, I am going to use this info to recover.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the public. When you explain things, I can understand. My challenge is implementing the practices on a regular basis in order to see improvement. I was stuck in hyperarousal for about a year following my traumatic experience. I was a jittery mess but I was at least functional. Now sadly, I've been stuck in hypoarousal for nearly 3 years. I've stayed nearly completely shutdown. You described my experience in hypoarousal perfectly. Now, if only I could figure a way to change my habits to engage in life again and stop dissociating.
I’ve been working through - and researching- trauma (cptsd) for more than 1,5 years now. This single video is such a valuable and precise brief summary of so many essential skills and lessons. Thank you.
Honestly, this actually explains a lot. While I'm not a trauma survivor by any stretch, I think I tend to have a relatively low window of tolerance for talking about things that makes me feel anxious. I can do it for a while, but will eventually hit a hard limit.
9:13 Thank you for sharing your experience with this kind of thing. It helps me feel more compassion for myself knowing that anyone and maybe everyone struggles like this. I wish you and your child the best possible health and peace. Take care.
Thank you so much for sharing this and for articulating everything I can’t seem to say. Everything you said hit the nail on the head for me. I’m sharing this to my husband because I can’t talk about it without going straight into hyper- or hypo- arousal. Thank you
I’m really glad you did this video. I just turned 50 and I’ve never heard this was the case before. Which means it’s likely not talked about much. Very beneficial information I intend to use!
Thank you so much for this great video. I'm now more aware of what's going on in my mind and body when I'm triggered. Grounding barely helped me in the past. Now knowing that i need movement first,I'm sure grounding afterwards will be easier for me in the future. I hope you daughter is healthy and doing great!
After my breakdown I had to stop all social activities… completely confused and disappointed regarding the cause… and a five year deep depression. But then notice that my muscles were going into a state of atrophy and I needed to get out and exercise: Though the company I worked for had a gym, I thought it was boring and a television that was too loud… it was time to reach into my past and take up an activity that was enjoyable. I also found myself reminiscing on the “good times” of my childhood. But knowing that I needed to be in the present and be a responsible adult: The only positive side… I didn’t marry and no children: and employment wise, I was good with most jobs I did. But the one thing I had to learn was how to tolerate and adjust or adapt my emotions to meet the challenges of situations which became disagreeable.
I have literally had trauma, stress and abuse my entire life. Literally since I was a toddler which is when my memories begin. I am 62 and don’t ever remember not living in either of these state however I have spent the majority in hyper arousal. I am wound so tight sometimes I cannot breathe.
Woah I will have to listen to this a few times. I’ve read so much about the window of tolerance and the nervous system, and yet this video tells me so much more and lays it out to where everything connects together. Thank you!!!!!
Thank you! I'm planning on talking about some trauma that was very intense and I've never spoken of before in therapy. This will help me be more careful and aware while attempting it. As yes I've been overwhelmed by trying to talk about trauma before. I think little bits at a time and journaling helps me be safe about it. ❤
The information you provided was really helpful! I took notes so I could work on this over time. Thank you for this video. I’m wishing you and your family all the best as you tackle your baby’s new diagnosis; I can’t even imagine how stressful that must be. You’re in my thoughts. I appreciate your willingness to open up and relate your own experiences to what you’re teaching - it makes the information that much easier to understand. Take care!
My thoughts are with you and your baby...I can relate😊. The way you dissect these topics make them so easy to understand. I always learn so much from you.
I am rocketing back and forth between hyper and hypo-arousal. I have been for years since I had an emergency quad bypass. It allowed me to leave a job that was so stressful it was killing me. I couldn’t help but be grateful that this happened. I spent my entire life in one traumatic situation after another. I pushed it all away with my brain telling me I could handle anything. After the bypass and years of complications I experienced the death of my only grandchild due to an overdose and more recently my soul puppy. My brain said “I’m done, had enough of all of it, ain’t doing it anymore.” I stopped opening my mail, stopped paying bills, stopped cleaning my house and shut down in every way possible. Now I’m reliving my whole life and feeling guilty about every failure and sin. Can I restart some remnant of my life? I do not know. I’m praying. I’m so disabled from lack of movement I can barely walk to the bathroom. The end seems very close.
@@aaishasingh3565 I learned that lesson early in life sweetheart but the last woman at my job was my downfall. She was evil and she hated me and she won the battle for my sanity.
I hear you. That's a lot. I hope you have a person you can reach out to and get some moral support as you search for the toe hold. You just need a toe hold. I pray you find it.
I’m a clinical psychologist and professor who specializes in PTSD. I’ve also recovered myself when I was younger using Prolonged Exposure therapy. The way this is presented is irresponsible and is likely to discourage individuals with PTSD from accessing highly effective, evidence-based, first-line treatments for PTSD. All the gold standard interventions involve a key component of exposure. It is also the provider’s job to help patients build distress tolerance and optimize engagement so that they can benefit from this challenging form of treatment. There’s no way around the distress, but there’s a straightforward way through it. We also can’t change the past or erase or push a memory out, but exposure is a highly effective means to change the way we react to past trauma. We carry our traumas with us and so the best thing we can do is to get comfortable with what rides alongside us anyways, always right below the surface.
1. Find a therapist that understands you. 2. Be honest. Tell them everything. 3. Not all methods work for everyone. 4. It can take years, before it gets better.
It took decades to find a therapist who could relate and actually believe me what happened .. misdiagnosed and overmedicated for most of it. Now I'm 55 and just starting to finally HEAL. And I now am avoiding Dr's and therapists. And it's been decades since dr decided NONE of the meds work for me and I shouldn't take them. Proper coping skills need to be taught to kids and adults .. I didn't learn them at home or growing up and it's been a ride figuring out what I don't know that I should
This is incredibly informative, and the framework you outline really helps me understand how to practice for these moments/periods. Thank you for sharing.
Super super helpful. Thank you Emma. I’m learning so much from your work. You have the best way of explaining things! Seeing you move above and below the window really visually helped me to understand this concept so much more easily 🙏🏻
in hypoarousal with the brain fog you gotta get in the habit of asking your therapist and doctors to write that down for you, so you can read it again later when you're in a better state
In 1988 a month before my senior graduation, I was involved in an automobile accident. There were three of us in a pick up truck. I was sitting in the center and my other friend was to my right. The driver of the truck was my other friend . It was around 2am. As we drove down a non lit road in our small town after a friends birthday party the driver lost control of his high speed truck and we hit the guard rail of bridge and went over. I do not know how much time elapsed while we were upside down in that ravine but I was the first to awake . I was trapped under the dashboard console. I can remember panicking and kicking out the small window behind the cab. It was enough to allow me to position myself to get out from under the console and the gear shift that was sticking into the side of my head. I was able to get the door open enough to crawl outside. It was eerily quite and I can smell gas and evergreen. During this silence I heard my friend crying out in pain and I went back inside the cab to get him. I was able to pull him out and place him next to the truck on the incline. I then went back inside to see if I could hear the driver. I was able to hear gurgling breath. I told my friend outside to wait that I was going to try to make it up the hill to get help. I can remember the adrenaline rushing through me. I was dripping wet. It was not sweat. As I made it to the top I can remember there was no one on that road but some houses were across the way. Luckily someone was coming and I flagged them down and they got help. Myself and my friend were transported via ambulance to the county hospital. The driver was airlifted. I was in the hospital for one day. I had multiple contusions and lacerations on my head, face and arms. My fiend had broke his femur in four places and was in the hospital for two weeks. The driver remained in a coma for 2 months with severe brain trauma. Over the course of a month myself and my friend recovered enough to participate in graduation. The driver did not. Over the course of months my life changed dramatically. There were suddenly a lot questions about that night and the cause of events. There were statements made by myself and my friend in the hospital that night that pointed to the driver deliberately driving us off the bridge. We never told anyone in authority, we just told the person who's birthday party we were at. She came to us once she heard what had happened. She was devastated and felt horribly guilty about it. I told her when she came into the ER room, " Look what he did to my face, he did this on purpose!" as they picked glass out of my skull and face. She then went over to my friend who was completely out of it but he managed to tell her the same thing. After graduation and the insurance claim was settled I wanted to try to move on. Then I got a call. It was the driver. He had asked why I did not come to visit him while he was in the hospital. I couldn't answer but I agreed that I would go over to his house to see him. My intentions to go over was strictly guilt driven. I was angry and scared. I did not know what to expect. We lived within walking distance . As I arrived his parents were glad to see me and met me at the door. He was in his room. I walked to it and saw him on the bed. He looked like hell. His head was shaved and his eye was lower than it used to be. I had a brief conversation him. I did not want to be there. As I was getting ready to leave he asked me what happened that night. I froze for a moment and asked him what he thought happened. He proceeded to tell me his father told him he must have swerved so as to not hit a rabbit that was in the road. I stared at him and said " If it were up to me I would never give you a license to drive again" He looked at me like I was the devil and said to me " You're lucky you got a ride out there that night" I turned and left and never spoke to him again. The girl who's house we were at still felt horrible and blamed herself. She tried to reconcile all of us with a meeting at her house. I went along with it. At first it seemed like a good idea. 6 months had passed and I thought maybe I would have been in a better frame of mind to open up the vaults again. I was not. Nor was he. It ended in a fight and I drove away. I learned the girl who's house we were at became his quasi nurse and babysitter over that 6 month period while he tried to regain his ability to walk, talk ,smell and taste again. It was during that time that they became romantically involved. This was ironic seeing as he and I were gay and also romantically involved during high school. A secret we had to keep. A secret that he revealed to his family. This reveal backfired on him and during damage control I was blamed for his sexuality and for ruining his family. I was reminded of this when his brother approached me in car I was in and punched me in the face and said " This is for ruining my family". I left town after that. It was getting to the point where I could no longer handle it emotionally or physically. While the driver was under my friends care a revelation was made to her. Her and I had met one time at a restaurant while she was caring for him. He had found out about this and became enraged. He told her " They should have died that night, that's why I did it!" After this admission she left him and called to tell me this. I can remember feeling vindicated. I also felt betrayed, bewildered and scarred (literally). The events of that night and it's subsequent fallout changed my life forever. It ruined what was supposed to be a time of growth, and excitement for the future. Instead it has left me 36 years later with CPTSD. I have told this story to anyone who would listen. Every time the same. Every time opening that wound I can't seem to heal. I have been in therapy for 18 years and have been able to come to reconcile a lot of past family trauma. This one trauma I cannot. Two days ago after 34 years of not seeing the girl who was my friend and his nurse met me for drinks. I thought it was the right thing to do. After all this time, and lives moving on, I thought I could handle opening that vault again . I was wrong. I broke down in front of her as the 18 year old man whose life was almost taken and who's life changed forever. Her response to me was to not let that parasite ruin what I have accomplished. Like any parasite, it has lived off of me for 36 years. I have tried. From empathy to forgiveness. From victim to victor. It does not pass. Time did tell and does not heal all wounds. I told this story again to all of you on this channel because this channel has helped me understand and realize there is more work ahead for me.
This was sooo helpful! I felt really great for a few minutes. Then I had old old trauma pop into my head from my childhood. I think that my dads anger issues might of confused me when I was little. Growing up we lived on a very tight budget for a while. My dads company started having issues then my mom became addicted to gambling. Our family's problems were very apparent to us kids. There was one night my parents were arguing. My mom showed up late at night. My dad met her at the door and started yelling at her pushing her then somehow I remember he ended up shoving her really hard out the front door. I can still here her crying in pain. I think this might be related to why I put up with my ex's anger issues. Deep down inside I kind of feel like I deserved it. And sometimes I'm sure he had legitimate reasons to be mad at me. Definitely doesn't excuse some of the abuse I suffered from him. 💔
Thank you so much. This info will help me choose a therapist thats a better fit for my needs. I was unaware of hypoarousal but that seems like where i had to go to cope with extended hyperarousal states and the accompanying physical and emotional damage that did
I would appreciate videos on borderline personality disorder and other lesser known disorders. I feel that borderline personality disorder in particular gets a bad reputation and so many outright vilify those suffering from it as being exhausting to be with or someone we cannot have friendships and relationships with which is quite problematic. A detailed video about its symptoms and the ways in which people dealing with it can have a happier life as well as how sometimes other people can take advantage of such diagnosis of those around them to make them feel crazy. Would love to see a video covering this.
Sorry to say this and I hope it doesn’t trigger you but such people ARE exhausting to relate to. I have a friend who has it and she’s always been the most challenging person in my life to deal with.
@@EphemeralProductions I follow Emma's channel so I wanted to hear from her perspective. 'Exhausting' is quite a subjective description. It's completely fair to say that people with a certain mental health disorder have challenges that not everyone is equipped to deal with but your description of what's exhausting and what isn't might not apply to everyone. As far as I know, Borderline Personality disorder is largely a result of sustained childhood trauma, abuse or neglect. It does have a genetic component but most people with this disorder have had to deal with extraordinary suffering from those who were often supposed to protect them. Early trauma can alter a person's mind and thought patterns and if they struggle with relationships because of it, referring to it as 'exhausting' because of our own lack of understanding while offering no way for them to heal is extremely callous. Kindly don't take it personally but I find it callous. We do have empathy for people suffering from so many other mental health issues but here we draw a line because of our own inability to understand the effects of sustained physical and emotional abuse.
DBT therapy! Amazing for Borderline issues and for people who may not have all the BPD symptoms but still some. There are several good books now and podcasts explaining DBT therapy.
Finding a descent therapist is difficult. Hiring after finding a good therapist is extra rare. A great therapist will be on vacation or won’t return the four phone calls placed, asking for an assessment appointment. Many think that finding a therapist is a breeze. Trigger phrase for me apparently.
It can be difficult, especially in rural areas. And after hearing about the scandals involving a certain online therapy company I'm nervous about those types of sites as well.
Thank you… it’s been a difficult couple weeks, and today I just couldn’t find a way to self-regulate. This was really really helpful, and incredibly informative… 🤯 I understood what I needed to do!
Exposure is not the same as analysis of the issue, skills to manage and process, and to accepting bad events happen and we do not have to remain in that event. We are not weak for having these issues or ridiculous for having triggers/inflexible boundaries.
This is a general comment to all therapists doing trauma work. Sometimes clients don’t want or need to ground. We need to be angry and resentful and hyperaroused and accepted as we are in that state in the therapeutic environment.
It took me ten years to find an appropriate practitioner who understood that. As soon as that happened, I could stop doing the labour of explaining why hyperarousal was necessary for healing and I began making incredible progress. One size does not fit all and sometimes we have to feel the intensity in order to do the deep healing work.
I feel like I need a therapist who will just fistfight with me when I get overwhelmed.
@@nooooooooope3809 LOL I get that! 💛🌿
YES!!!
@nooooooooope3809 Bro, we don't talk about Fight Club. 🧡
this thought is a bit unrelated, but kinda the same idea- when i was really grieving and struggling w the trauma of quitting choir/theater during hs after basically being bullied out of the program, i was so so so angry. like fuck sad, i was just so hurt and upset and angry. and the thing that made me the angriest was when i tried to confide in loved ones and they’d constantly say “i think you just need to let it go and stop talking about this 🫤 it’s not healthy for you to hold onto this anger and keep thinking about it”. which like, sure, if i had remained just as angry years later, that wouldn’t be healthy. but this was only a few months after everything had happened and i was struggling and grieving and it felt like my trauma and grief were just an inconvenience to everyone around me and it felt like no one understood the value of allowing yourself to be upset and angry and just feel it for a bit.
it still hurts to think about and can definitely get me amped up/triggered, but it’s not on my mind the way it was before. bc i let myself be angry and sad and hurt for as long as i needed, and the intensity of those feelings decreased w time.
so i agree, don’t constantly tell ppl not to be angry, sad, [insert other negative emotions] bc as long as it’s being expressed in a healthy way, it’s part of the healing process to feel your feelings and accept them as they are
00:00 🧠 Understanding the "Window of Tolerance" is crucial for effective trauma work.
01:19 🚨 Recalling traumatic events can reinforce trauma responses, hindering progress.
03:02 💥 Trauma responses like fight/flight/freeze hinder emotional and cognitive processing.
05:44 🛑 Trauma survivors often get stuck in hyperarousal or hypoarousal states, impeding healing.
08:25 🛌 Hypoarousal is a protective numbness state triggered by perceived threats.
10:41 📉 Hypoarousal may lead to feeling burnt out, numb, and disconnected.
12:02 🔄 Resilience-building activities can expandone's window of tolerance.
13:43 🔍 Therapists help individuals recognize and regulate their window of tolerance.
14:07 🧊 Grounding skills help soothe hyperarousal; gentle activation aids hypoarousal.
16:27 📝 Self-awareness, grounding, and activation skills aid in widening the window of tolerance.
This is really helpful, I was finding it hard to accept my doctor wanting me to stop diving in deep with my trauma and problems so much. To me it was working on my issues and bettering myself but I see clearer now that I was constantly triggering myself and making my anxiety so much worse 😅
True...
I used to do the same...initially ....and then shut down completely and be non functional for days...
So much that I started getting scared of even trying to go over the traumatic thoughts...
As it is ...triggers...even in minor form would end up giving me horrible nightmares...
I have struggled with insomnia...but with the awful nightmares...I would actually dread to even go to sleep...
The sub conscious absorbs a lot from our thoughts...
So meditation and auto suggestion helped me...
Hope everyone going through this terrible chronic trauma response heals well.🎉
This video was like the light clicking on that I needed. Might have to rewatch it a couple of times a week for a reminder. This is fantastic.
Me too. I got stuck in a loop. I pulled myself out and said enough healing. Time to move forward with my life ❤
yeah, i have done the same. hope you find a way to be gentle with yourself
@@shellbellhealing that's a great way to put it, hope you're doing well :)
My mother was diagnosed with alzheimers about 6 years ago... come to find out few weeks ago, that she was misdiagnosed and in fact she has very complex PTSD... she lost her reading and writing skills, memory was disrupted and her speech was compromised d/t the extensive amount of clutter of her thoughts....I am now training myself to help her with this diagnosis...it's tough.. and also looking for a trauma therapist..it's hard...so I appreciate very much all your lessons...I have learned a lot so far and pray mom's neurological system heals deeply
I hope both you and your Mom are doing better. I think I’m dealing with a similar CPTSD and Dementia situation, and you are the first person I’ve heard say that they have gotten a diagnosis for the CPTSD. And after 6 years! This gives me hope. Would you mind saying how the new diagnosis came about, and any tools you are using to help her, and if you’ve seen any improvement? Thank you for sharing.
EMDR therapy seems to be covered by insurances… gentle way to address the trauma and feelings associated with it
Was your mom aware that her thinking was off or was she in denial that there was anything wrong? Thank you
Me too! I hope the best for you all! I have cptsd with dissociation and bi polar 2 and pseudodementia. Had neuropsych testing last year and 10 years ago. I’m 48 now. Have struggled not knowing how to drive, burning my hands cooking, crazy stuff! Finally with a trauma specialist for the last year will eventually get to the emdr. ❤
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
This is the first time I've heard about being in a prolonged state of hypoarousal. You always hear about hyper, and I don't have that response, but I've been in that hypo state for a couple of years, I go to work but that's about all I can make myself do. I'm totally numb, I don't feel anything except anger, my brain doesn't work for the simplest things, I forget conversations and details that I shouldn't, but I'm really good at masking. I was in a DV relationship years ago, got better for awhile, and thought I still was because I wasn't having the visceral reactions like elevated heart rate and feeling shaky. No therapist ever talked about the shutting down and numbing out part. The only thing that causes that hyper reaction is anything that makes me feel vulnerable, like crying even in a very appropriate situation, it makes me feel like I'm actually going to die if I break down, even though I know I won't. The thought of feeling anything painful or distressing is terrifying
Bless you- I can relate. X
I totally understand I feel as if I live in bubblewrap and sounds /feelings are muffled I have had really really bad stuff happen to me beginning as a toddler only other time or way I could describe it as if im constantly in tht dreamy world of waking up right after surgery I know I over react for me to appear normal to ppl but in reality I'm sleep walking
I feel your statement 💯!
DV really twists things around in the brain. I went through covert emotional abuse and live in hypoarousal a lot too. It's so hard to get out of that state. I try to appreciate even the tiny moments that feel like coming up for air. Best of luck to you on your journey 💕
Most mental health and therapists tell you don't give much thought to it, you are staying in the past, you have to give it up and move on, but most of them don't teach the methods to overcome it.
Thank you very much for all that wisdom. I was always wondering how to do it.
After escaping a narcissist I was obsessing about writing a book where I reveal all his dirty business. I was shut in, drinking every night, chain smoking, eating myself to sleep if I could sleep at all… Soon I felt like I was trapped in an ever escalating nightmare for years. I binge-watched all the true crime shows while I’m a very sensitive, empathic person… I don’t know what I hoped for. No relief came… I had to put down booze, start working out, detox from media, and after 6 months a magical “let go” moment happened where I forgave them and myself, and I let go all my trauma so their won’t define me anymore. Nobody told me before that trying to get through trauma with the wrong methods can actually make it much worse. Now I know. Btw, the “revenge book” was never published - maybe it’s for the best. Thanks for the video, it was very useful.
Lovely share
I was relieved to hear that "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypo-arousal" 9:40 is a thing others experience too. When reacting to stress I can feel simultaneously profoundly dismal and keyed-up to the point of nearly vibrating. A confusion of sensations that creates its own stress!
I legit had this 'vibrating' thing this morning. For a split second I noticed it inbetween getting up and then resting then getting worked up and slumping into the couch and then I realised I was vibrating like a "whomping" feeling. It happens alot but sometimes I notice it more than other times
@NeonDungeon If it's any help to hear... It isn't a permanent condition. I've had some of the best times of my life since the first time my body tried to convince me my world was caving in. What you're going through that's brought on vibrating isn't permanent. I'm seeing ways that psychotherapy has advanced which could turn the corner on ever having to go through this in the future.
I'm kind of there again myself. Oddly enough, it (life crisis) has happened roughly every ten years. I wish I'd learned sooner that a) sometimes talking about what's stressing me isn't the best therapy, b) physical self-care is *foundational* to well-being (exercise, diet that reduces empty calories and toxins exposure while increasing dense nutrition, sunlight bathing early in the morning without sunglasses, valuing sleep regularity), and c) increasing rest by giving up inoffensive activities isn't effective to achieving relief from stress, increasing strength to tolerate stress is where I need to focus. My old pattern of backing off from activities never helped for longer than it took to fill up with more thinking about everything that was wrong. Getting busy building myself up so there's less time for ruminating is the new goal. Let me add d) I need to identify someone in my life who can walk with me as I revamp how I address these new steps. I wonder if there's a group near me where I can find a "build a healthier me" buddy. Maybe associated with a gym but better, I'm sure, if it's also someone who understands stewardship of all we have to be grateful for.
@@kathrynarnold1966 That's what I always feel that doing it with someone will be so much less lonely and daunting . Where do you live?
@klpnaGupta I'm told that divulging location to strangers via social media is bad form.
I sometimes get physically hyper-aroused (typically flight response) while emotionally/mentally going into hypo-arousal (it typically feels like dissociation).
It's the weirdest combo and super hard to catch until I'm deep in it and usually takes a couple days to recover
I tried to work through my trauma and the world shut me down because no one can be uncomfortable. This is the power of stigma and it is stigma that is killing people.
ya, it's fabulous - everyone can say they have it but don't be real and don't talk about it and don't ask for help. If you aren't pretty and perfect the world says then just disappear or shut the F up
Did you get shut down by therapists?
@@juliz2500 my only child committed suicide. The therapist insisted I scheduled sessions during her business hours which also happened to be during my work hours. I had no choice but to go back to work. It's only me. It's work or be homeless on top of devastating grief so I tried to hide in a corner with the lights off so I could do my sessions. After having the wound reopened, having to explain the awful details of what I saw, the session abruptly ended because time was up. Then I had it try to Go on with my work day which was another story altogether so yeah I kind of got shut down. And yeah I was told that my therapist understood what it was like to lose someone cuz she lost her nephew also super not helpful off. Putting hard to hear and frustrating. If that counts for being shut down then yes.
@@sonyaaune9058 I'm so sorry, that must be incredibly hard.
Sounds like your therapist wasn't a good match for you at all. I can recommend Gestalt therapy or any therapy that includes regulating the nervous system. Also, it's very important that you can build trust with your therapist. I'm guessing you're from the US, your system seems to be built to treat employees like machines which is awful.
Need real friends who love u
Thank you for at least mentioning the faun response. It really doesn't get enough recognition, and for many people, it's the greatest barrier to improving mental health because the people around them enjoy it so much, support gets really hard to get. Would love a video addressing that alone. Maybe you already have one. Will look.
Edited to correct confusing autocorrect typo
This!
My husband left earlier this year. People have been shocked and want to hear about my marriage. I tell them that the best thing about him finally leaving is that I never have to go over just how crappy we were together again. Most seem relieved.
God Bless You ❣️good luck😇
I know that feeling. Everyone that loves me truly was so happy for me when I divorced. I have few I talk to about it. It was 7 years of the hardest times I experienced in my now 47 years
The window of tolerance is about staying between overwhelm and avoidance. If you’ve already processed then it’s not avoidance, but if you have processed it then it shouldn’t be triggering to mention. You can still not talk cause it just sucks and will not make u feel good, but be careful that you aren’t avoiding processing because it will cause the past relationship to distort future behaviors
@@muscularclassrepresentativ5663
I recently went through a traumatizing situation at my previous workplace and I’ve had to talk about it when meeting with potential employers. It’s shocking how difficult and triggering it has been to talk about it even a bit. I’m thankful for this video and these grounding techniques.
Thank you so much! Really solidified all the things I've been going through all my life, . I started trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me when I was 26. Diagnosed with PTSD and DID at 50. Now 77, all the advances in science and mental health, I am much better. This info is helping me so much!
Wow, you really understand the traumatic stages the human brain goes through in the moment, from immediately reducing access to the prefrontal cortex right down to collapse and submit, and after the fact. Impressive. My only hope, for you, is that you didn't have to learn this first hand like so many of us.
Thank you for becoming trauma-trained and for sharing that knowledge, for free, with the world.
Excellent comment! I agree wholeheartedly.
I have a feeling she does know about it first hand
I LOVE the tone of your voice. So many mental health professionals use what they see as a soothing tone that I find fake and judgy. You sound real. Love it. Thank you.
She doesnt have the mask of someone who cares; she IS soneone who cares.
Lady you're saving my life
Second that!!
I had a grievous experience and breakdown… to the point of continual headaches, migraines and depression:
I didn’t trust anyone, and when I tried talking about it… it made my situation worse: I even considered suicide, but then my mind began to consider a different approach and direction…
Though I needed healing.
I do have the same kind of thoughts!I hope we all heal from this!
I'm so happy that you made this video. today I had my second session with my new therapist and I experienced this. after she asked me about something I ended up talking about something I had forgotten about but apparently I went into one of those modes because she stopped me and said we would touch on it later..I felt drained and still do and really depressed when I felt fine before I went ..this helps me sort of understand what happened to me.thank you
It will be interesting to see if the therapist does circle back. I had one who would always do what she said. I havenone who "forgets" (even tho she takes notes) and doesn't go back. I feel like a kid who has gotten away with something since I dont have to talk about it. But then I feel like I have a secret left back on a different table. Maybe not the best. I moved away from my last therapist who never left things hanging. Total bummer.
My whole life ive been shifting in between these states. So much so that i was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. So so happy to find an explanation for my inability to be consistent.
Last two years I’ve been close to losing my home for shutting down avoiding work. Currently working my way back but I’m around 7 payments behind. I hope I’m able to keep fighting through this. This page along with other RUclips channels have been of great help.
You’re not alone. Some stress or trauma piles up after a while. Glad you’re dealing with it.
@@notabannedaccount8362 thank you. Also through it all my wife and I have had 4 miscarriages and plenty missed opportunities because I got exploited at work. Got stuck for so long because it felt and still feels like leaving it behind is forgetting about my children. It’s a weird feeling. All I can say ketogenic diet plus fasting and channels like this are life changing.
I'm sorry that this is happening. Take care.
This was so educational and helpful! What happens to me when I say, get a text that triggers me, I have a few seconds of feeling numb then it immediately goes to fear in my abdomen. My face is hot, my heart is racing. I'm all emotion. Then the physical reactions subside but then I cry. I'm still in the dissociated state, which is when I feel like a shamed child. I've just recently learned that dissociation is what's happening to me. I hadn't realized before that dissociation has different levels/degrees. But now I realize why I feel as if I intellectually know I'm emotionally flooded and thinking differently but emotionally I can't stop it, than I do once time has passed and I reflect on how I was in the episode happened. Thank you for all your efforts to help so many 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for continuing to educate and help us out here in cyber space even while going through a medical crisis of your own. I hope your baby heals completely and is good as new very soon!
OMG, I get it finally! Don't know why this has been so hard to grasp, but this cleared it up for me. Best explanation I've seen! Thank you!
Oh my, this was insanely helpful! I love that you're explaining what we can do independently without necessarily resorting to a therapist.
It is so much easier said than done on your own. For me, a therapist is necessary to keep me in bounds.
Sorry to hear about your baby. We are here to listen if you want to share more. Sending lots of love 💖 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷.
I'll share something that happened today about the point at the end about the impact of your overall physical condition. I had an overnight flight this weekend with no sleep and then got sick. I've been coughing and running a fever all week (not COVID, thank goodness!). This afternoon I was in bed and started to fall into despair and flooding thinking about some of the bad things that trigger me. I managed to turn my attention to the sensation of my back on the bed, which gave me enough space to say "This isn't real, this isn't a good time for this. You're sick, think about something else." That was enough to get my head together so that I can process some of these emotions when I'm feeling better and better able to do it. Good old CBT to the rescue!
So great! Glad you were able to do that! Good job sir! ❤
I find myself feeling indecisive about what videos to watch because you have so many helpful videos but I’m not sure which ones will be the most I can relate to and be able to use to my benefit based on my struggles and issues. My biggest struggle is dealing with very intense emotions around social interaction, and then when I’m not in social situations I think about past or previous ones and these feelings resurface. On top of this I would like to say your videos have been a great help and I’ve already learned so much but I find myself feeling anxious again about the same things every day even if for quite a few hours I’m able to be calm and have a parasympathetic response(I believe that’s what it’s called) I’ll be honest I also don’t really know what the names of the emotions are that I’m feeling and it makes me overthink on what skills to use to calm myself down and feel them. Even typing this right now is making me feel kind of sad thinking about it. I tend to feel this stuck feeling when trying to process my emotions sometimes because I’ll be overthinking what skill I should use because I don’t understand how to name what emotion I’m feeling. I don’t know what emotions I’m feeling. I also am having trouble feeling present and in my body so that I can take on my emotions because I am continuously overthinking and I also feel like I have to constantly process my emotions to be ok all the time. I’m not sure if I’m being obsessive or if this is normal either. Please help me. Thanks for all the free help online I couldn’t have made such a drastic change in My life without you.
Hey there! Just wanted to say that it took me a long time to be able to name emotions as well, so I definitely relate to your comment. I think this is something that many people with overwhelmed nervous systems struggle with and you’re not alone. Turned out I was feeling a ton of repressed anger and resentment.
i want to add that not knowing what emotions you’re feeling is called alexithymia. if it’s a temporary/situational state, such as with PTSD flareups, it’s secondary alexithymia. if it is something that you always struggle with (in other words: it’s your normal baseline) then it is primary alexithymia. primary alexithymia is often connected with autism and/or adhd.
this is not medical or therapeutic advice, it’s just info i’ve learned and wanted to share in case you found it applied to you or would be helpful.
As a long covid survivor, I can't do anything that I used to and I lost everything several times over. I am in hypoarousal. It is too much. That is why I am trying to watch a lot of these videos. Consider doing something on chronic illness, please.
I’m a counselor, and have likely worked with over 12 counselors over the course of 30 years and exactly one of those counselors utilized “grounding exercises “.
your work has been so valuable for me in my mental health journey. i appreciate that you relate your life experiences to the context of your videos, it helps feel connected to what you're saying and its very brave of you to share these things with us
Hi Emma, so sorry your baby is having health issues...Best wishes, everything is going to work out, hang in there ❤️
Thank you for a brilliant video. It was new info for me that you cant go from hypo to the window straight away, that you end up in hyper first, before window. I have kinda noticed that already, so great to get it confirmed.
And when it comes to hypoarousal, i personally dont think it just "looks like" depression. I think that IS depression, in general for people. Not everyone has the diagnosis PTSD, but the more i learn about the nervous system and stress and all of it the more i realize that almost all of us are carrying a lot of unprocessed stress within and that itself will make us go into both hyper and hypo.
A great gift you give to everyone watching is that you give people the tools to fix what's not working instead of going over the negative stuff and saying if you buy my therapy session I'll be able to help you. What you do shows you truly care about the people watching your videos. And your methods work. I truly appreciate finding such valuable information. And, ironically, I will be purchasing your therapy sessions. See how well that works.😉
This is so great and refreshing to find. Going through ptsd or any trauma is not easy, is not a straight line either. Even if you are getting therapy you come to a point that you are basically on your own working yourself through the ups and downs. Thank you very much for voicing it and explaining it so clear and simple !
For the first time, this week, a trauma was brought up to me and for the first time I experienced an incredibly anxious reaction. I was surprised because I’ve had a lot of trauma, but this one was just too much.
I’ve been stuck in it for months
Golden! Your teaching gift for combining and simplifying complex issues with concepts, clarity, practical examples and illustration is fabulous. Identifying and showing how to deal in each three nervous system levels is new to me. Window of Tolerance is a great, easy idea to evaluate and improve. Thank you so much!
This is really helpful. Ive been doing this for decades no wonder im exhausted. The system keeps you stuck in this loop.😢
I have been working through my trauma from last one year. But I really feel different from last two months. I can sense my mood getting better day day. Grateful for your helpful videos on trauma. 🎉
Thank you for being aware enough & honest enough to discuss these issues.
This was very informative. I have been feeling like all the hardships I've had to go through has made me less resistant. I did not have a word for it or knew how to express it, but now I know that my window of tolerance had shrunk.
This is so informative and helpful for me. I’ve been able to explain what was happening to me as an overactive nervous system due to trauma but didn’t know it was “known” experience… I thought it was just happening to me. Thank you for what you do, it’s such valuable information.
My trauma therapist also shared this with me and I found it super helpful self-awareness & self-help guide. It's great you're sharing this here with all.of us, Emma, thank you! 😊
Thank you so much Emma. I hope you baby gets better really soon. You are amazing and the world is a much better place for having you in it. Thank you ❤
I had an aha moment during this video in thinking about the #1 life stressor I have that seems impossible to solve bc it is an old trigger-even tho the problem is complex. Its complexity mirrors “old business.” It was when you explained hypoarousal & activating methods. Thank you!
One thing I keep seeing in so many of the self help videos ,that I have watched,...... Heartfelt Laughter is very helpful in healing ❤❤❤
!!!!! Your lessons are just so good!!! Thank you!!
You helped me through the worst time of my life a few years ago, and you’re still teaching me about myself.
This makes so so so much sense. I recently switched from a cognitive behavioral therapist to an emdr therapist, and it was AWFUL! Part of it was my work schedule drastically changed so I didnt have that outlet (work is positive for me), part of it was I was dealing with tendonitis so I couldn't do many activities that are normally grounding for me (music, crocheting, writing), and we were trying to unpack these painful memories but we never got anywhere because I just got stuck in a flood of PTSD symptoms. Now when I go to therapy again I know what sorts of ideas to bring up to hopefully make actual progress in managing my condition and living more inside the window of tolerance. Thank you!
I am working at these issues and it is so difficult. Your videos are so helpful! Thank you for sharing and in a way that makes sense. 🙏
This is the first time I've seen someone explain how to get out of hypoarousal and that it looks like going to hyperarousal and then back down. I get stuck in hypoarousal a lot and it's frustrating trying to come out of it, but now that I see it's usually going from hypo-to-hyper... It makes so much more sense and I can more clearly understand the goal for getting out of it.
Girlfriend is over here saving ppl's lives and sanity and still made a little blurb about her shirt. SO CUTE! Thanks Emma for what you do.
Btw I have pushed myself to start conquering my driving anxiety and your latest series has become an invaluable resource.
What to do when Hypoarousal has become the default function? Years, nearly a decade, of being stuck in this state transforms a person into a shell of being inside a castle of isolation
I'm not a therapist but I understand where you are at. Mindfulness and gratitude practices helped me to feel more alive. I was able to consciously move my attention out of thinking mode and focus on sensations (of my choosing) which made me FEEL more alive x
For many of my clients, I tell them that retraumatization can be just as harmful and I respectfully shift to grounding skills (like waking up the physical senses)
Well, I was curious about why I went from freeze into panic before I came back to groundedness again. I guess that really just is now it works.
Thanks for being here I don’t know what I would do without you none of my paid therapists have talked about the stuff you have I really needed these videos Thankyou ❤
Please never apologize for such things as your shirts fit. No one I have listened to resonates with me as you do. What you do here and how you help is beautiful and kind. I have a hard time asking for help, but I find it quite easy to praise where it's deserved.
Dude, love the visuals in this presentation. When you stood on the chair and the camera panned up to hyperarousal -- transcendent. If you're interested in feedback -- although it makes sense to put Hypoarousal beneath the window, it also creates some awkwardness. When you say about your time in the hospital (9:22) that you were "stuck somewhere between hyper- and hypoarousal", this visualization frames The Window Of Tolerance as being the space between those two states. Since you say at the end that the path back to a regulated state from hypoarousal usually passes through hyperarousal, maybe experiment with some different orientations / visual metaphors. Really illuminating video in any case. Lately I've been contemplating how to discern "emotions" from various states of dysregulation, and your videos on the nervous system states have been very helpful. Thanks again.
I saw the short you made about hypoarousal, and watched this. I’ve been in that state for about 10 months. Thanks for this video, I am going to use this info to recover.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the public. When you explain things, I can understand.
My challenge is implementing the practices on a regular basis in order to see improvement. I was stuck in hyperarousal for about a year following my traumatic experience. I was a jittery mess but I was at least functional. Now sadly, I've been stuck in hypoarousal for nearly 3 years. I've stayed nearly completely shutdown. You described my experience in hypoarousal perfectly.
Now, if only I could figure a way to change my habits to engage in life again and stop dissociating.
Amazing Emma. This is communicated in a way that assist self ware folks but also folks who haven’t heard of these concepts. Excellent!
So much good stuff in this video. Lately my window is a porthole of tolerance
I’ve been working through - and researching- trauma (cptsd) for more than 1,5 years now. This single video is such a valuable and precise brief summary of so many essential skills and lessons. Thank you.
Honestly, this actually explains a lot. While I'm not a trauma survivor by any stretch, I think I tend to have a relatively low window of tolerance for talking about things that makes me feel anxious. I can do it for a while, but will eventually hit a hard limit.
❤ that its a physical writing on the wall, complete with hyper being above the window & hypo being below!
9:13 Thank you for sharing your experience with this kind of thing. It helps me feel more compassion for myself knowing that anyone and maybe everyone struggles like this. I wish you and your child the best possible health and peace. Take care.
Emma, you went with the imperfect recording with the cling that bothered you -- way to go!! 💪 Proud of you!
Thank you so much for sharing this and for articulating everything I can’t seem to say. Everything you said hit the nail on the head for me. I’m sharing this to my husband because I can’t talk about it without going straight into hyper- or hypo- arousal. Thank you
I’m really glad you did this video. I just turned 50 and I’ve never heard this was the case before. Which means it’s likely not talked about much. Very beneficial information I intend to use!
Thank you so much for this great video. I'm now more aware of what's going on in my mind and body when I'm triggered. Grounding barely helped me in the past. Now knowing that i need movement first,I'm sure grounding afterwards will be easier for me in the future.
I hope you daughter is healthy and doing great!
After my breakdown I had to stop all social activities… completely confused and disappointed regarding the cause… and a five year deep depression.
But then notice that my muscles were going into a state of atrophy and I needed to get out and exercise:
Though the company I worked for had a gym, I thought it was boring and a television that was too loud… it was time to reach into my past and take up an activity that was enjoyable.
I also found myself reminiscing on the “good times” of my childhood.
But knowing that I needed to be in the present and be a responsible adult:
The only positive side…
I didn’t marry and no children: and employment wise, I was good with most jobs I did.
But the one thing I had to learn was how to tolerate and adjust or adapt my emotions to meet the challenges of situations which became disagreeable.
Thanks!
❤ Thanks Emma, we pray for you and your family.
I have literally had trauma, stress and abuse my entire life. Literally since I was a toddler which is when my memories begin. I am 62 and don’t ever remember not living in either of these state however I have spent the majority in hyper arousal. I am wound so tight sometimes I cannot breathe.
Woah I will have to listen to this a few times. I’ve read so much about the window of tolerance and the nervous system, and yet this video tells me so much more and lays it out to where everything connects together. Thank you!!!!!
Thank you! I'm planning on talking about some trauma that was very intense and I've never spoken of before in therapy. This will help me be more careful and aware while attempting it. As yes I've been overwhelmed by trying to talk about trauma before. I think little bits at a time and journaling helps me be safe about it. ❤
The information you provided was really helpful! I took notes so I could work on this over time. Thank you for this video. I’m wishing you and your family all the best as you tackle your baby’s new diagnosis; I can’t even imagine how stressful that must be. You’re in my thoughts. I appreciate your willingness to open up and relate your own experiences to what you’re teaching - it makes the information that much easier to understand. Take care!
❤❤ Another life changing video that is saving lives and healing souls. You and your team are honorable angels ❤❤ thank you 😊💐
My thoughts are with you and your baby...I can relate😊.
The way you dissect these topics make them so easy to understand. I always learn so much from you.
I am rocketing back and forth between hyper and hypo-arousal. I have been for years since I had an emergency quad bypass. It allowed me to leave a job that was so stressful it was killing me. I couldn’t help but be grateful that this happened. I spent my entire life in one traumatic situation after another. I pushed it all away with my brain telling me I could handle anything. After the bypass and years of complications I experienced the death of my only grandchild due to an overdose and more recently my soul puppy. My brain said “I’m done, had enough of all of it, ain’t doing it anymore.” I stopped opening my mail, stopped paying bills, stopped cleaning my house and shut down in every way possible. Now I’m reliving my whole life and feeling guilty about every failure and sin. Can I restart some remnant of my life? I do not know. I’m praying. I’m so disabled from lack of movement I can barely walk to the bathroom. The end seems very close.
Don't let people break you down.
@@aaishasingh3565 I learned that lesson early in life sweetheart but the last woman at my job was my downfall. She was evil and she hated me and she won the battle for my sanity.
I hear you. That's a lot. I hope you have a person you can reach out to and get some moral support as you search for the toe hold. You just need a toe hold. I pray you find it.
This 17 minutes was seriously more helpful to me than the last six months of therapy.
Thank you so much for being here for all of us! ❤
I’m sorry about your baby and good luck to you and all your family.
I’m a clinical psychologist and professor who specializes in PTSD. I’ve also recovered myself when I was younger using Prolonged Exposure therapy. The way this is presented is irresponsible and is likely to discourage individuals with PTSD from accessing highly effective, evidence-based, first-line treatments for PTSD. All the gold standard interventions involve a key component of exposure. It is also the provider’s job to help patients build distress tolerance and optimize engagement so that they can benefit from this challenging form of treatment. There’s no way around the distress, but there’s a straightforward way through it. We also can’t change the past or erase or push a memory out, but exposure is a highly effective means to change the way we react to past trauma. We carry our traumas with us and so the best thing we can do is to get comfortable with what rides alongside us anyways, always right below the surface.
And that’s your opinion.
You and your videos are a , God send! I don't feel as hopeless! I can not thank you enough! A lot to practice, but, I am not alone. Thank you!!
All helps & the comments are amazing, I’ve read soo many now, surprising how much help are the comments in this particular situation
1. Find a therapist that understands you.
2. Be honest. Tell them everything.
3. Not all methods work for everyone.
4. It can take years, before it gets better.
It took decades to find a therapist who could relate and actually believe me what happened .. misdiagnosed and overmedicated for most of it. Now I'm 55 and just starting to finally HEAL. And I now am avoiding Dr's and therapists. And it's been decades since dr decided NONE of the meds work for me and I shouldn't take them. Proper coping skills need to be taught to kids and adults .. I didn't learn them at home or growing up and it's been a ride figuring out what I don't know that I should
This is incredibly informative, and the framework you outline really helps me understand how to practice for these moments/periods. Thank you for sharing.
Super super helpful. Thank you Emma. I’m learning so much from your work. You have the best way of explaining things! Seeing you move above and below the window really visually helped me to understand this concept so much more easily 🙏🏻
in hypoarousal with the brain fog you gotta get in the habit of asking your therapist and doctors to write that down for you, so you can read it again later when you're in a better state
Thanks!
I found this video very informative and well explained. Not too much jargon and easy to understand. Thankyou
In 1988 a month before my senior graduation, I was involved in an automobile accident. There were three of us in a pick up truck. I was sitting in the center and my other friend was to my right. The driver of the truck was my other friend . It was around 2am. As we drove down a non lit road in our small town after a friends birthday party the driver lost control of his high speed truck and we hit the guard rail of bridge and went over. I do not know how much time elapsed while we were upside down in that ravine but I was the first to awake . I was trapped under the dashboard console. I can remember panicking and kicking out the small window behind the cab. It was enough to allow me to position myself to get out from under the console and the gear shift that was sticking into the side of my head. I was able to get the door open enough to crawl outside. It was eerily quite and I can smell gas and evergreen. During this silence I heard my friend crying out in pain and I went back inside the cab to get him. I was able to pull him out and place him next to the truck on the incline. I then went back inside to see if I could hear the driver. I was able to hear gurgling breath. I told my friend outside to wait that I was going to try to make it up the hill to get help. I can remember the adrenaline rushing through me. I was dripping wet. It was not sweat. As I made it to the top I can remember there was no one on that road but some houses were across the way. Luckily someone was coming and I flagged them down and they got help. Myself and my friend were transported via ambulance to the county hospital. The driver was airlifted. I was in the hospital for one day. I had multiple contusions and lacerations on my head, face and arms. My fiend had broke his femur in four places and was in the hospital for two weeks. The driver remained in a coma for 2 months with severe brain trauma. Over the course of a month myself and my friend recovered enough to participate in graduation. The driver did not. Over the course of months my life changed dramatically. There were suddenly a lot questions about that night and the cause of events. There were statements made by myself and my friend in the hospital that night that pointed to the driver deliberately driving us off the bridge. We never told anyone in authority, we just told the person who's birthday party we were at. She came to us once she heard what had happened. She was devastated and felt horribly guilty about it. I told her when she came into the ER room, " Look what he did to my face, he did this on purpose!" as they picked glass out of my skull and face. She then went over to my friend who was completely out of it but he managed to tell her the same thing. After graduation and the insurance claim was settled I wanted to try to move on. Then I got a call. It was the driver. He had asked why I did not come to visit him while he was in the hospital. I couldn't answer but I agreed that I would go over to his house to see him. My intentions to go over was strictly guilt driven. I was angry and scared. I did not know what to expect. We lived within walking distance . As I arrived his parents were glad to see me and met me at the door. He was in his room. I walked to it and saw him on the bed. He looked like hell. His head was shaved and his eye was lower than it used to be. I had a brief conversation him. I did not want to be there. As I was getting ready to leave he asked me what happened that night. I froze for a moment and asked him what he thought happened. He proceeded to tell me his father told him he must have swerved so as to not hit a rabbit that was in the road. I stared at him and said " If it were up to me I would never give you a license to drive again" He looked at me like I was the devil and said to me " You're lucky you got a ride out there that night" I turned and left and never spoke to him again. The girl who's house we were at still felt horrible and blamed herself. She tried to reconcile all of us with a meeting at her house. I went along with it. At first it seemed like a good idea. 6 months had passed and I thought maybe I would have been in a better frame of mind to open up the vaults again. I was not. Nor was he. It ended in a fight and I drove away. I learned the girl who's house we were at became his quasi nurse and babysitter over that 6 month period while he tried to regain his ability to walk, talk ,smell and taste again. It was during that time that they became romantically involved. This was ironic seeing as he and I were gay and also romantically involved during high school. A secret we had to keep. A secret that he revealed to his family. This reveal backfired on him and during damage control I was blamed for his sexuality and for ruining his family. I was reminded of this when his brother approached me in car I was in and punched me in the face and said " This is for ruining my family". I left town after that. It was getting to the point where I could no longer handle it emotionally or physically. While the driver was under my friends care a revelation was made to her. Her and I had met one time at a restaurant while she was caring for him. He had found out about this and became enraged. He told her " They should have died that night, that's why I did it!" After this admission she left him and called to tell me this. I can remember feeling vindicated. I also felt betrayed, bewildered and scarred (literally). The events of that night and it's subsequent fallout changed my life forever. It ruined what was supposed to be a time of growth, and excitement for the future. Instead it has left me 36 years later with CPTSD. I have told this story to anyone who would listen. Every time the same. Every time opening that wound I can't seem to heal. I have been in therapy for 18 years and have been able to come to reconcile a lot of past family trauma. This one trauma I cannot. Two days ago after 34 years of not seeing the girl who was my friend and his nurse met me for drinks. I thought it was the right thing to do. After all this time, and lives moving on, I thought I could handle opening that vault again . I was wrong. I broke down in front of her as the 18 year old man whose life was almost taken and who's life changed forever. Her response to me was to not let that parasite ruin what I have accomplished. Like any parasite, it has lived off of me for 36 years. I have tried. From empathy to forgiveness. From victim to victor. It does not pass. Time did tell and does not heal all wounds. I told this story again to all of you on this channel because this channel has helped me understand and realize there is more work ahead for me.
This was sooo helpful! I felt really great for a few minutes. Then I had old old trauma pop into my head from my childhood. I think that my dads anger issues might of confused me when I was little. Growing up we lived on a very tight budget for a while. My dads company started having issues then my mom became addicted to gambling. Our family's problems were very apparent to us kids. There was one night my parents were arguing. My mom showed up late at night. My dad met her at the door and started yelling at her pushing her then somehow I remember he ended up shoving her really hard out the front door. I can still here her crying in pain. I think this might be related to why I put up with my ex's anger issues. Deep down inside I kind of feel like I deserved it. And sometimes I'm sure he had legitimate reasons to be mad at me. Definitely doesn't excuse some of the abuse I suffered from him. 💔
Thank you so much. This info will help me choose a therapist thats a better fit for my needs. I was unaware of hypoarousal but that seems like where i had to go to cope with extended hyperarousal states and the accompanying physical and emotional damage that did
I would appreciate videos on borderline personality disorder and other lesser known disorders. I feel that borderline personality disorder in particular gets a bad reputation and so many outright vilify those suffering from it as being exhausting to be with or someone we cannot have friendships and relationships with which is quite problematic. A detailed video about its symptoms and the ways in which people dealing with it can have a happier life as well as how sometimes other people can take advantage of such diagnosis of those around them to make them feel crazy. Would love to see a video covering this.
Sorry to say this and I hope it doesn’t trigger you but such people ARE exhausting to relate to. I have a friend who has it and she’s always been the most challenging person in my life to deal with.
There are many other videos about it on other channels besides this one. Very thorough videos. Search them up
@@EphemeralProductions I follow Emma's channel so I wanted to hear from her perspective. 'Exhausting' is quite a subjective description. It's completely fair to say that people with a certain mental health disorder have challenges that not everyone is equipped to deal with but your description of what's exhausting and what isn't might not apply to everyone. As far as I know, Borderline Personality disorder is largely a result of sustained childhood trauma, abuse or neglect. It does have a genetic component but most people with this disorder have had to deal with extraordinary suffering from those who were often supposed to protect them. Early trauma can alter a person's mind and thought patterns and if they struggle with relationships because of it, referring to it as 'exhausting' because of our own lack of understanding while offering no way for them to heal is extremely callous. Kindly don't take it personally but I find it callous. We do have empathy for people suffering from so many other mental health issues but here we draw a line because of our own inability to understand the effects of sustained physical and emotional abuse.
DBT therapy! Amazing for Borderline issues and for people who may not have all the BPD symptoms but still some. There are several good books now and podcasts explaining DBT therapy.
Finding a descent therapist is difficult. Hiring after finding a good therapist is extra rare. A great therapist will be on vacation or won’t return the four phone calls placed, asking for an assessment appointment. Many think that finding a therapist is a breeze. Trigger phrase for me apparently.
It can be difficult, especially in rural areas. And after hearing about the scandals involving a certain online therapy company I'm nervous about those types of sites as well.
I had that problem but once I found an EMDR therapist, I got great results.
Excellent teaching skills and knowledge 🤗 thank you for giving 🙏
Thank you… it’s been a difficult couple weeks, and today I just couldn’t find a way to self-regulate. This was really really helpful, and incredibly informative… 🤯 I understood what I needed to do!
Exposure is not the same as analysis of the issue, skills to manage and process, and to accepting bad events happen and we do not have to remain in that event. We are not weak for having these issues or ridiculous for having triggers/inflexible boundaries.
Thank you the concept of hypoarousal was very helpful 🥰🙏 was the missing piece I needed so really appreciate the info.
You’re an angel ❤
Bless you for all you’ve done for people