what tears me up is that i have no person in the world who i can trust. I grew up in an abusive family, was bullied in my school and college, have no job, never had a girlfriend, the girl i loved more than my life left me after exploiting me for months. I wish there was a person who i could hug, or even share how my day was. if you guys have such a person in your lives please appreciate them even more.
Same. I couldn’t identify anyone I trust and feel safe with completely. The closest I could think of is the dog at the farm where I live. I at least never feel judged by that dog and she always is happy to see me and loves me and is happy to spend time with me.
I am in a similar situation. My dog is really a very good companion. My husband and I are working through things and rebuilding trust there , but I can't think of anyone who I feel completely safe with other than My God through relationship with Jesus Christ my savior. Bless you on this healing journey. I pray a friend is sent to you :) I know it can be difficult to see when that happens when we have been through a lot, so I pray also that you can see it when it happens. Take care❤
While growing up I felt similar to that. I couldn't trust my parents and felt very lonely and unsafe. So I built a a network of imaginary friends that I found in books and films and they accompanied me everywhere. I wrote so many letters to them and had so many conversations! They kept me sane. I even started writing letters to myself exactly as I wished someone would write or talk to me. I did that over many, many years and strengthened my imagine of them with every positive thing I witnessed in others. I made so many wishes over and over again to meet people like that in real life. And I eventually did. Gradually, slowly. Different than my imaginary friends, but real and friendly and trustworthy and I am grateful for them every single day. I also met quite a few idiots along the way, but I guess, that's life and I did learn something. I wish you deep from my heart that you will find someone you can trust.
A sensation that helps me calm down a lot is just snuggling up in my bed and feeling my microwavable warming pillow (I think it's filled with buckwheat). I warm it up almost every night before I go to bed so I can put my hands on it, feel the grains and the warmth...so relaxing. I would recommend this to everyone who gets easily stressed, tense or anxious.
Omg I have the same!!! I lay on my back and put it on my belly with my hands on it, the heat helps me relax my belly muscles and the weights helps me to slow my breathing. It's been a huge help in my recovery and through panic attacks, I LOVE IT
So glad you can relate and feel the same way! I put the warming pillow on my belly too at times, I agree with you, that's especially calming and relaxing! 😊 @@user-df2ue1tw2r
@@user-df2ue1tw2rif you like the weight you may also like a weighted blanket. My friend used to squirm restlessly all night but with the blanket just gets good sleep. You'll know within minutes if you have a positive response to the pressure!
When I was a kid I lived in a chaotic, abusive household . I struggled with insomnia from elementary school onward . The only way I could get to sleep was to imagine myself in a storybook type of environment I would imagine. My favorite was the inside of a beautiful gypsy wagon . I would imagine everything down to the smallest detail .
I had the same experience, including insomnia from a young age. I started meditating and imagining I was in a different beautiful place. And that I had a gardian angel that was protecting me each night, and wrapping me in a blanket of protective light.
One thing that strikes me as hard is when you feel like you can’t remember any places that feel safe, or any people that feel safe, or anything that you feel like you’ve overcome, or any strengths that you think you have. Anyone else ever feel this way?
I'm strugglig with panic attacks years after a really bad breakup. I'm feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, ashamed and inadequate most of the time, lots of uncomfortable sensations as well. I began avoiding places where I could see her or her relatives and I began to be more closed and reserved. It's like you become a completely different person. I've done a lot of inner work and I feel like sometimes things are better, but then comes a period when I feel as if I'm back to zero. That's when it messes with you, because you get discouraged that you'll ever be yourself again. 1. My safe place are the woods. I love roaming pine forests in the winter, the golden beech forests in the autumn and oak forests in the summer. I love climbing mountains, taking photos of nature, gathering mushrooms and herbs, sliding down hills and whatnot. I also love immersing myself into a well-written book world, like Middle-Earth, Roshar or the Wheel of Time World. 2. This one's a bummer. I don't have any people around me that I can call "safe". 3. I listen to a lot of different music, but I would say that Ambient music, Post-Rock and Metal soothe me or help me deal with my emotions the most. 4. A fond memory is me and my friends gathered around the fire in the summer evening, telling stories and joking around. 5. Sensations that makes me feel safe - the smell of pine wood, the crackling of fire, the wind blowing in my face, the sound of rain, the smell of a new book, a warm cup of tea, a hug.
I hope you heal and are able to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes, it takes time...but we truly do need to be willing to feel what we feel and accept what we think. To keep moving forward..feeling safe again...or if not safe at least neutral..🎉
Maybe you could address more bottom-up approaches. People with major trauma can’t always start with cognitive based techniques, we’re already too “in our heads” we need to be safe in our bodies first.
I feel like I don't have any safe people now, but I can invoke the feeling of my grandmother when I was little. The smell of her sewing room, the texture of her sofa, picking sour gooseberries in her garden. Those are my safest memories.
That’s a great image! I can’t smell very well so I am sure how that room smells for you. What are gooseberries like? You don’t hear about those very often these days.
Emma do you know what would be really useful? A video on how to manage stress and anxiety when the factors causing this cannot be changed. For example leaving a horrible husband when you have no support network and money would be a real problem. And working in the same office as an extremely toxic Co worker. Please tell me what you are supposed to do when you can't remove the triggers. So many videos say just leave your job or leave your husband. Life isn't that simple sometimes ❤😢
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we can’t leave. Because it looks harder than the place that we are in now. When I was younger I left my mother’s place because being homeless and squatting was a much more healthy option than staying there. After that I got in a not healthy relationship. And told myself for years that I couldn’t go away because I would be helpless. Well eventually I picked myself up and worked to change and build my own support network again. It’s hard but every thing is doable. My mom had narcism, and my grandfather raped me and hit me and my mom got money for it. My father was a heroin addict. And my ex was all those things combined. And it was really messy to get away from and was scared for my life. Also was pushed into sex with friends of him that I didn’t want to and pushed in adult content that I didn’t wanted to. It scared me big time. Now my parents are dead from suicide, have a awesome boyfriend. And bought a home. So I don’t believe anymore that people can’t leave. It’s hard to face the unknown. And scary. But being stuck somewhere that makes you miserable is not a life worth living. And I don’t like suicide. So the only way forward is going to hell, and don’t give up.
you might want information on social work e.g. phone 211 in usa? your situation sounds more like you need practical help and maybe some coping skills to support you during a necessary high stress period? grounding excercises might help e.g. square breathing
I have a chronic illness and I can’t get away from my own body. I focus on what I can control and then create an action plan focusing just on what is within my control. The rest I have to accept. I also use mantras to rewire my brain such as ‘ I am safe’ (even though I don’t feel safe inside my own body, but, the more I tell myself, I am safe, the more I actually feel that it is true) I also use gratefulness, and focus on all of the things that I do have, and all of the things that I can do. Also, acknowledging that nothing by itself is absolutely good or absolutely bad, everything is consequential. Leaving an abusive husband without a support network is very difficult, but the future consequences will be better than the current situation. So for me, it’s all about changing the way I think . And I have managed to go from severe PTSD to actually feeling happy and safe. And I think if I can do it, anyone can. And now that I have managed to do that, I am actually starting to recover. Ps I also take medication.
My son has C-PTSD from the Marine Corps and hurtful marriage/divorce. I've been watching Emma's beautiful videos for a couple of weeks, trying to understand what he's going through and how to help him. I started reading the comments and my heart breaks for so many hurting people. I would give you all the biggest hug if I could. I pray for all those who need it, that you will have safety, healing, peace, and love in your spirit, soul, and body.
Hi Christina! Sorry for what your son is going thru. I too have PTSD. Another channel on RUclips that may benefit is Tim Fletcher. Wishing you the best! ❣️
I hope this helps at least 1 person. I remember seeing something recently that said the part of your brain that harbors bad thoughts, anger, anxiety.and the part of your brain that has good thoughts and joy are the same part of the brain. the 2 emotins cannot coexist at the same time. So when you begin to feel anxious start praising God. Speak truth to yourself and be grateful ... count your blessings one by one, and all that negativity will go away.
Pause, ponder, pray, praise. That’s how I’m learning to cope, through Proverbs 31 ministries. Prayer helps get it off your chest, praising God makes the devil flee. It breaks the neverending loop of anxiety, guilt and fearful thoughts. Gets your mind off the harmful thoughts and gets them into gratitude where they belong. Every morning I thank God for a safe and peaceful sleep because so many don’t sleep in safety or peace. Then I thank Him for my coffee and everything that went into making it, (including electricity.) That goes on til I’ve thanked Him for everything that’s good in my life. Then I listen to Dan Vasc’s Amazing Grace, O Holy Night and Adeste Fideles (Oh Come All Ye Faithful) which gets me to a place of joyful triumph. Then I tackle my day, and no, everything isn’t perfect but it never will be til I’m in heaven. Emma has helped me immensely by teaching me that triggers will still happen because we’re hardwired that way for survival. I had guilt feelings for not resolving those triggers myself. Now I know they are biological in nature and not something I can stop. I can learn to deal with them in a healthy way, however, through watching Emma’s awesome videos.
One thought that comforts me, especially when traveling, is the memory of my grandma, praying for me and my sisters with us, that "the angels may always protect us and be at our side". I imagine my grandma (who died already 20 years ago) still sending those angels to watch over us. It may seem cheesy for others, but that thought has helped me many times. My grandma was also a comforting presence for me, very confident, decisive and determined but always warm and loving towards us. I still feel a connection to her in a way, even after all those years that she's no longer here on earth.
What a wonderfull Grandmother you have! Even though she is no longer physically present here on earth her soul is eternal and her impact is still alive in you. Those angels are real and will protect you. You can pray for God to keep them ever beside you.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist for five years has changed me in ways I could have never thought. Slowly coming back to myself and my inner safety after three years.
After 20 years of anxiety. Substance abuse to try to manage it. Endlessly searching for a fix I feel these videos may have finally given me the solution. Discovered them a few days ago and I can't quite believe the change I'm feeling already. Thank you.
me too. same story, instead I believed for 3 years I was hiv positive, and I wasn´t thank God. but since then, this was more than ten years now, but can you imagine to lieve believing that, was like , I dont even want to remember, the thing is I believed that I have a desregulated nervous system. I been doing humming technique today... feels great
So many of my safe memories revolve around my grandparents, their house and my moments in time with them. They were such a decent, kind, stable presence and I miss them so much. Even more so now. But the safe places and people exercise is a great reminder of how lucky I am to have had them as part of my life, and that I have them still; a intrinsic part of who I am. May you all have an Alf and a Florrie. 💜
Dear Emma, I want to really thank you from bottom of my heart. You're so kind and compassionate, this is rare quality in society and therapists. Thank you for shedding light into our hearts. God bless you!
Thinking of sensations that make me feel safe - the feeling of eating a warm bowl of soup or drinking a hot cup of tea. Those sensations make me feel so safe, calm and relaxed.
1. Safe places: My house, my room, a library, cozy rainy classroom 2. Safe people: my friends and family 3. Laufey songs 4. Study hall with my friends 5. Satin, weighted blanket, chocolate ice cream, petting animals, good book by a fire,
I can never get past step one here. I cannot think of a place, real or imagined, that I feel safe. Mind you, I am perfectly safe where I live and who I live with. I just do not ever "feel safe" anywhere. Any wisdom on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
If it’s impossible for you to even think of somewhere feeling safe, try imagining IN the imagination. For example, imagining youre at a beach doesnt feel safe to you, but try IMAGINING in that image that you do feel safe. That will help put the idea of safety into your head, even though it may not work as strongly at first.
I like to refer to it as a 'calm or peaceful place' if 'safe' doesn't feel available to you. And whilst you are working on imagining your peaceful place you can experiment with putting an imaginary fence around it, or a bubble, or even giving yourself a 'magic wand' to banish anything unwanted that might feel like it's making its way into your space. Good luck and go gently on yourself ❤️
I'm reading a book by Pete Walker about CPTSD and he talks about using "enough" in our thoughts. For example, "safe enough," "good enough," etc... Perhaps using the suggestions above with a safe enough space will help. I know that some of my really early healing safe spaces were very remote, away from anyone or anything, and now the images are closer to where other people could be ✌️
I was struggling with this too, and someone suggested I think in terms of “safe enough” rather than “safe”. I don’t feel safe around other people, but in places i am comfortable and with people I am familiar with, I often feel safe enough. What’s great is once I regularly started recognizing “safe enough” situations, some of those started genuinely feeling safe!
As someone who's not normally anxious. I had a string of anxiety and brain fog for several weeks and am just now getting out of it. It began with a minor physical ailment that turned into catastrophizing. "Will I ever be normal again? Do I have a disease? Am I terminally ill?" It disrupted my sleep, my appetite, my digestion, my waking hours, everything. It was absolutely awful. But I changed to a low inflammation diet, ( which may be related to brain fog - not enough research has been done on this ) I began walking and excercising more, but what truly, truly helped - thanks to Emma's video with Nick, I found a nice quiet place to sit, and practiced mindfulness. Focused on my body, my breathing, and Nick mentioned, "...You're going to get distracted," so, I thought, I'm going to focus my distractions then, and I focused on positive self imagery, and as a byproduct, I began to meditate, for ten minutes I did this, and for the first time in several weeks, I had gotten rid of my brain fog during the day, which was heavily contributing to my anxiety. That's when I realized, "Wait, this isn't a terminal disease. My brain isn't broken. This is anxiety! It's just anxiety," I never felt so relieved. This is something I can tackle. This is something I have the power to change. I promise you, if you're reading this, you're not broken, you aren't incapable, you are so damn strong you can't even fathom the limits of your own strength that lies deep in your mind, your heart, your bones. If you stumble, if you fall, you will get back up, and you'll try again. You CAN become that version of yourself you see in your thoughts. Give yourself permission, it's okay to want that. One day, you will join that version of yourself in the light of the sun, and you will breathe deep the joy of regonzing your own strength and capacity to grow. I believe in you, but you must first believe in yourself. I love you. Be well.
Its so debilitating for me recently..after so many stressful events...losing my best furry friend..literally relationship uncertainty...and job stress..where my future was heading in my mind..my health dealing with pcos...and just infertility issues..like...it all felt like so much...i dont have my father cuz he was toxic asf...and my older brother is just similar and annoying..literally i only felt safe with one person...but they betrayed me and now its like ehhhh i just want to feel better again...and safe in my own skin...but its scary for sure. So many distractions and i feel like i have no place in this world
Knowing that I have my own work, home and food on the table keep me at peace. I'm more concerned about the stigma in my neighborhood. I pray hard if I see episodes with the neighbors.
My safe places are with my grandmother in the summers when I could get away from my mother's constant anger and criticism. Gram made me feel loved and like I was okay for who I was. So - many places in upstate NY - the Adirondacks, Lake George, Central and Northern Vermont, Western New Hampshire. The memories of summers in those places were bliss.
I visited New York state for the first time not too long ago. What beautiful memories you must have. I relate, alot of my first memories of feeling safe were being away from my mother, when I finally found some independence is a young adult.
SOO HAPPY I found these videos & such PERFECT timing as I just experienced some PTSD after contact from an abusive spouse I left (& went no contact) 4 yrs ago … I really needed this information to clarify what I’m experiencing & SOO GRATEFUL for the tools to WORK THROUGH this . It was really important to hear that “avoidance increases our anxiety “…. And you feel like a very safe person which is also so helpful ☺️… TY!
this one hit home, thank you for sharing yr gifts. im going through burnout at 54 and realizing ive got toxic shame etc, a total nightmare 24 7, you are helping me alot thank you so much
@@fairy7101 I love a hot bath with Epsom salts. But some how the pressure of staying in 20-30 minutes to let the salts soak in, doesn't allow me to relax like a shower. For a bath, I usually have to play a video or podcast, whilst in a shower I can just disappear into the water... (🤫 Don't tell anyone, but some days I do both. I call it hydro therapy! 🤫) Sending lots of love 💕 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷.
Thank you so much for your videos!! They have helped me tremendously! Anxiety and panic attacks are so confusing, overwhelming, and debilitating. Having anxiety can feel so isolating. Your videos make me realize that i'm not alone and that there are ways, tools, and tips to get through this. Thank you For taking tje time to provide free therapy to over a million of us.And i'm sure many more that feel healing and growth from your videos ❤
Thank you, thank you, thank you, at 57yrs old, I've realised how much my childhood trauma is affecting me, and I have lost that feeling of ultimate safety, I'll save this video and impliment these stragies ❤
I've made my mantra (unintentionally, but I use it continuously)- " I am safe. I am calm. I am loved." I get so much , and so many tools, from you. Thank you 🌟
I was sexually abused by male relatives as a child. Eventually I was able to forgive my abusers. However, things like the Madeline Soto case trigger me and I feel anger and resentment. I knew it was associated with my abuse but didn’t understand where it came from since I had forgiven the ones who hurt me. THANK YOU EMMA! Today’s video taught me why I can’t get past the feelings of anger that aren’t always present but crop up periodically. Now I know that triggers make me remember the trauma and the memories trigger subconscious feelings of danger. Fight or flight and it’s all fight. It only took me 60 of my 65 years to learn this. I wouldn’t have ever learned it in this lifetime if not for my church family doing a group prayer for me today and me seeing Emma’s video. Talk about providence!
I find myself wishing I could do something meaningful for you after reading your comment. While I'm not entirely sure what is helpful and I'm just a person on the internet, please know that I (and a lot of people out here in the world) respect, wish for and have faith in your well-being. May you always be at peace, safe and joyous.
@@TenHo-g9wThank you! I was raised by an unsympathetic mother who knew about the abuse but chose to allow it to continue. Knowing someone cares broke me. I needed to get past that pent up emotion and crying it out was so helpful. Thank you for that. I didn’t know I needed that piece to complete my puzzle. God bless you immensely!
This video was so so so so so incredibly helpful. I’m slowly working through your workbook as well. God is using you is mine and so many others ‘ lives in powerful ways: thank you for sharing this and the video you make ❤🙏🏻 God Bless you!
My safe spaces: - my room (especially my bed) - my parent's house (where I grew up) - a peaceful site at the river in my city where I used to grow vegetables with my friends an where you an jump naked into the river after gardening (when I do a safe space imagination, I'll go there) - a bench on a hill of my city - the arms of my boyfriend - listening to an episode of a kids show I listened to as a kid ( I don't know what you call that in English) - a bench on a hill in my hometown where I can overlook the airport and nature surround it - any mountain of the alps :)) (now as I'm writing this I think I could do an imagination of me mountain climbing next time I feels worried/unsafe )
Really appreciated and enjoyed this video. Having made considerable headway with healing my CPTSD challenged nervous system, I was recently crashed into by a hit and run DUI driver. Luckily he was caught, is being prosecuted and was even insured, and I had no serious injuries. Unfortunately, my car was totaled, and he aggressively came into my lane and was flipping me off as he hit me. No idea what set him off, we had not engaged in any way before the impact. This has strongly activated residual trauma in my system, and I'm struggling with dysregulation. Your reminders of tools I already know, and teaching a couple of new ones is so helpful. I'll watch the other videos you've posted from the series as well, thanks to your generosity in sharing your wisdom. You're such a blessing, and deeply appreciated.
I live with two sociopaths in the same room. It's hard to find a sense of internal safety. I'm also an external locus of control type of guy due to C-PTSD, extreme anxiety and dissociation. Pray for me!
May you be safe. May there be kind connection between you and a better community of people. May you and peace discover each other and become good friends. Please know that I (and a lot of people out here in the world) respect, wish for and have faith in your well-being.
Everything is temporary ❤, may god remove anything not for your highest good . Also breathing exercises really help to regulate my nervous system and feel a sense of safety , this may help x
I have seriously lived in a near constant state of fight or flight for the majority of my life..... It's so bad.... that working through this exercise literally has my entire body tingling as it begins to relax! THANK YOU FOR THIS! TTvTT ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for all you do Emma. I'm in the middle of a divorce that i do not want, after 30+ years of marriage. I'm dealing with stress ,anxiety, & situational depression. You've been instrumental in helping me out of a dark place, and finding a "Christ based" therapist through Better Help. Keep doing this work. You are saving lives.
Long time I couldn’t recall any safe place. But finally I think I can call some safe places for me: it’s 5 star hotel lobbies). It’s always comfortable, spacious, good smell and deemed lights there, good background mucus or piano. All around people in relaxed mood. Although there are many people around they are on their own, not communicating with me. So I feel safe because all my senses tell me it’s good place and I’m not alone, and I can be on my own there
Making the safe places list made me realize that all my safe places have either been taken away, destroyed, or are unaccessable physically anymore. Imagining my self in these places is a bit scary too, because, well, I think I could very easily put myself there, and never come out of that imaginary state., a self induced coma if you will. There are no safe people left either, really. My existence has taught me very cruelly that these things to, are easily taken away so I'm afraid to depend on their comfort. To imagine their existence falls back to the aforementioned delima of how to do this and still come back to a reality that just so sucks that living in a virtual mental state is preferable.
God Bless You Emma!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I am working with a therapist Re: my struggle with anxiety…I watch your videos and they truly teach me A LOT of good information that I then take to my therapist in my notes… I bought “Love Anyway” tee shirts for myself and my daughter!!! I felt some stress a few minutes ago. I really don’t know why that unfortunately is one of my big issues I don’t know where my anxiety is coming from… But I am working on it. One issue that I had watching this video was when you said, “think of a safe space Like a place from childhood, etc.…” And that actually caused me to have a little anxiety panic attack because one of my issues is feeling out of control and dealing with loss, death, etc. so when I thought of something that was from my childhood or somewhere I don’t have access to now- it caused me to have a panic attack…is there some way you could address this? I am working with my therapist about this sort of thing, but I was hoping you might have some words of wisdom or some coping techniques regarding this type of issue. God bless and thank you so much.
My therapist once asked me where I feel safe, and I really couldn't think of anywhere in my current life where I truly feel at ease/normal/safe. So I suppose the suggestion of an imaginary place, or a place I can no longer get to, works best for this scenario. Safe, serene, seaside.
You are wonderful and an incredible healer! Thank you sooooo much. I just stumbled on your channel and you are saving my life. I mean that! I feel hope and happiness like I haven’t in a very long time. You are a gift from God. God bless you and your family. You are an angel of light. 🥹💕
Thank you so much for sharing this!! Not only does your insights INVALUABLE, but your compassion, your genuine drive to help leople and purely YOU, are such a pleasure to watch. Thank you😊🌱
Here's a simple technique. Set a meditation timer to 15 min. intervals. When you hear the "ding" check in to see if you are/feel safe. Notice how many times you are actually fully safe. After a few weeks change it to every 30 min, then at every hour... It has helped me to see that I truly am safe the majority of the time.(really, so far, all the time but things can happen!) Using a single chime sound makes it not disruptive to others.
My safe place is the sea wheather it’s surfing, sailing or swimming. Love calm dark start night sailing on a boat and snuggling up in my lounge with kids🙏
I have come back to this video because I remembered how relaxed I felt listening to you describing your place of safety. This is such a reassuring video and I particularly love that you talk about "imagined" people and places - there's a reason that certain books and movies can be so comforting, and many of us have a "comfort character"! Thanks for all you do, Emma. I've had counselling which has helped but doing further study using your videos has really empowered me to be able to continue looking after my mental health. ❤
I have this memory of me as a child on a double swing with my sister- us just having fun, swinging together wildly and shouting swear words. 😬 It just felt so good to be safe enough in that moment to shout out whatever we wanted and to feel free and strong together. 😊
I just wanted to add- I'm not a big fan of swear words now as an adult, but as a kid in that moment it felt really good to break the boundaries a bit and to allow myself to say/ shout-out whatever I wanted. I think kids can feel restricted a lot, I certainly did. It was great to find that safe space with my sister with no adults around so we could feel free.
These exercises may work for anxiety, but when you have severe trauma, you cannot THINK your way to safety. The only way to get there is through a felt sense of safety; it’s a somatic experience, not a cognitive experience. This is why affirmations and gratitude journals sound good on the surface but don’t actually move trauma victims out of trauma.
It’s a 30 day course, one suggestion isnt the fix and cure all for every degree of trauma….listen and take in and gain skills from the whole course and continue educating oneself on trauma to work with ones own level and condition of trauma. Not all teachings and suggestions or studies work for me, we are not all from the same mold.
I’d suggest watching more of her content. She has tons of videos addressing those concerns. I’m thankful for the incredibly helpful content she shares here for everyone.
Watching this amazing video of yours made me realize that watching your videos and listening to you are on my safe places and safe sensations list! I can't thank you enough! ❤
#2 - Mary Mother of God, oldest grandson #3- classical, Gregorian chant #4 - sitting on grandpas lap watching TV and learning about President (Eisenhower), reading Christmas story to grandma while she made Christmas cookies #5 - incense at Mass, Chanel #5 perfume
Thank you so much 🙏 At the start, You explained every single day for me.😞 But I’m looking forward to to jumping in and working through your coping strategies 🙏❤ Amazing advice and guidance, thank you.
I'm mortified of vomiting, my wife has been sick over the last few days so literally any sound my stomach makes gets me very anxious. Hearing "I am safe enough, I've done hard things" was nice. It's so simple, but it's a nice reminder that I will get through it, even if I have to vomit.
This is powerful medicine and I'm so grateful to have found you🙏 just watching 2 videos has completely changed my approach. So many simple tips that are easily invoked when needed. You're a 💎!
I feel annoying sensations and feel weird as if it’s not me I am dealing with health anxiety I had fear and pain all the time for months it drove me insane. I am now starting to accept this so I can recover
Thats so normal, I was scared as shit that I am the only one feeling like that and that I loose my mind. But you are already in a process of healing, beliefe me. Your body always heals (eg. when you cut yourself the body will ALWAYS close the wound and not make it worse) but your mind is interprering it wrong. Go trust your body and give it a hug. Let it do what it wants. Breath deep and slowly in your belly button and give yourself love, love and love. Where is love, even anxiety itself turns into a safe protector telling you it just wanted attention on important topics. And thats what it does indeed. Anxiety tells us to pay attention when we neglect ourselves. So say a big thank you and give yourself all the love you have. My nervous system was tricking me and scaring me and guess what: the sensations giving me most fear turned out to be signals of discharging stress. Trust your body and give love to it. Put a loving hand on your sensations and hug yourself.
Safe places: At my sisters house with her and my nephews At my Aunt Jo’s house With my ex’s Mom at her home or at their family cabin Safe People: My Sister My Uncle Jason My Aunt Lori My StepDad? Safe Music: Available by Elevation Music Church Instrumentals on Spotify Distractible Podcast on Spotify Safe Memories: My ex setting up board games in front of the fire at the family cabin Safe Memories: spending the night at my Grandma’s house. I was always safe. It was always calm. I always knew what to expect.. and she spoiled us by making our favorite treats. Safe Memory: drinking hot cocoa and buttered toast while driving around to look at Christmas lights. Safe Sensations: - good smells -cuddling my cat -vitamin water (dragonfruit flavor)
What about when all the memories of safe places, music and people are tinged by grief, loss, sorrow, and these exercises seem to have the opposite effect?
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I don’t have a safe person or place. It sometimes feels as if my life didn’t start until I met my husband, but, he has become moderately unsafe. I am learning to stop focusing on the abuse fro. My family and his.
Emma u have so many ppl who r ur support system ppl who suffer from Anxiety have no one to lean on or no one who understand them that's why anxiety nd dipression hppn.
Hi Emma! This is Nan. Christy Whitman taught me another Vagus Nerve/Parasympathetic Exercise: Just inside the earlob ... I place my index finger. Hold and breathe. Switch to the other side. Hold and Breathe.
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
what tears me up is that i have no person in the world who i can trust. I grew up in an abusive family, was bullied in my school and college, have no job, never had a girlfriend, the girl i loved more than my life left me after exploiting me for months. I wish there was a person who i could hug, or even share how my day was. if you guys have such a person in your lives please appreciate them even more.
Same. I couldn’t identify anyone I trust and feel safe with completely. The closest I could think of is the dog at the farm where I live. I at least never feel judged by that dog and she always is happy to see me and loves me and is happy to spend time with me.
I feel that. And I understand. I don't have anyone either. It's not easy. Be kind to yourself. And i'm sorry you're in pain.i hope it eases up some.
I am in a similar situation. My dog is really a very good companion. My husband and I are working through things and rebuilding trust there , but I can't think of anyone who I feel completely safe with other than My God through relationship with Jesus Christ my savior.
Bless you on this healing journey. I pray a friend is sent to you :) I know it can be difficult to see when that happens when we have been through a lot, so I pray also that you can see it when it happens.
Take care❤
While growing up I felt similar to that. I couldn't trust my parents and felt very lonely and unsafe. So I built a a network of imaginary friends that I found in books and films and they accompanied me everywhere. I wrote so many letters to them and had so many conversations! They kept me sane. I even started writing letters to myself exactly as I wished someone would write or talk to me. I did that over many, many years and strengthened my imagine of them with every positive thing I witnessed in others. I made so many wishes over and over again to meet people like that in real life. And I eventually did. Gradually, slowly. Different than my imaginary friends, but real and friendly and trustworthy and I am grateful for them every single day. I also met quite a few idiots along the way, but I guess, that's life and I did learn something. I wish you deep from my heart that you will find someone you can trust.
You have yourself. Be that person for yourself and the rest will come
A sensation that helps me calm down a lot is just snuggling up in my bed and feeling my microwavable warming pillow (I think it's filled with buckwheat). I warm it up almost every night before I go to bed so I can put my hands on it, feel the grains and the warmth...so relaxing. I would recommend this to everyone who gets easily stressed, tense or anxious.
❤
Omg I have the same!!! I lay on my back and put it on my belly with my hands on it, the heat helps me relax my belly muscles and the weights helps me to slow my breathing. It's been a huge help in my recovery and through panic attacks, I LOVE IT
So glad you can relate and feel the same way! I put the warming pillow on my belly too at times, I agree with you, that's especially calming and relaxing! 😊 @@user-df2ue1tw2r
@@user-df2ue1tw2rif you like the weight you may also like a weighted blanket. My friend used to squirm restlessly all night but with the blanket just gets good sleep. You'll know within minutes if you have a positive response to the pressure!
Yes, a good, suggestion! Very similarly, I use a hot water bottle at night this way
When I was a kid I lived in a chaotic, abusive household . I struggled with insomnia from elementary school onward . The only way I could get to sleep was to imagine myself in a storybook type of environment I would imagine. My favorite was the inside of a beautiful gypsy wagon . I would imagine everything down to the smallest detail .
My own upbringing in the same type of environment brought me to reading books from a young age.
@@Atom_Stone yes ! Books raised me .
@@KarenSharin 😊😊 So grateful for books! Be well.
I had the same experience, including insomnia from a young age. I started meditating and imagining I was in a different beautiful place. And that I had a gardian angel that was protecting me each night, and wrapping me in a blanket of protective light.
That's the only way I've been able to sleep for years.
One thing that strikes me as hard is when you feel like you can’t remember any places that feel safe, or any people that feel safe, or anything that you feel like you’ve overcome, or any strengths that you think you have. Anyone else ever feel this way?
Yea me too a bit. But if you dig deeper you'll find some I'm sure
Can only think of coffee and cigarettes 😂
make one in your mind, can be a hopeful future. or like barbie movies or fav food
You can think of qualities you would like to have, or admire in others, and aspire towards them ❤
@@tammygonzalez4992😂😂
My safe places... The beach, nature, being cozy up in a blanket, being in prayer
I'm strugglig with panic attacks years after a really bad breakup. I'm feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, ashamed and inadequate most of the time, lots of uncomfortable sensations as well. I began avoiding places where I could see her or her relatives and I began to be more closed and reserved. It's like you become a completely different person. I've done a lot of inner work and I feel like sometimes things are better, but then comes a period when I feel as if I'm back to zero. That's when it messes with you, because you get discouraged that you'll ever be yourself again.
1. My safe place are the woods. I love roaming pine forests in the winter, the golden beech forests in the autumn and oak forests in the summer. I love climbing mountains, taking photos of nature, gathering mushrooms and herbs, sliding down hills and whatnot. I also love immersing myself into a well-written book world, like Middle-Earth, Roshar or the Wheel of Time World.
2. This one's a bummer. I don't have any people around me that I can call "safe".
3. I listen to a lot of different music, but I would say that Ambient music, Post-Rock and Metal soothe me or help me deal with my emotions the most.
4. A fond memory is me and my friends gathered around the fire in the summer evening, telling stories and joking around.
5. Sensations that makes me feel safe - the smell of pine wood, the crackling of fire, the wind blowing in my face, the sound of rain, the smell of a new book, a warm cup of tea, a hug.
💖🤗
You’re so right. I feel like a completely different person now, too. I asked my therapist what happened to that girl? It feels like she died.😢
I hope you heal and are able to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes, it takes time...but we truly do need to be willing to feel what we feel and accept what we think. To keep moving forward..feeling safe again...or if not safe at least neutral..🎉
I'm so sorry. Keep being kind to yourself and healing, you're worth it, and the rest of your life is worth it xx
Oh wow, that's exactly like me and my history! And I hope someday you can come to Alaska, you'd love it here.
Maybe you could address more bottom-up approaches. People with major trauma can’t always start with cognitive based techniques, we’re already too “in our heads” we need to be safe in our bodies first.
EMDR
Irene Lyon is on RUclips and has somatic/ body focused exercises to work on the feeling if safety.
Tapping.
Yoga, guided breathing exercises, guided meditation and grounding exercises can be helpful for that
@amanda, I just commented basically the same thing (before I saw your comment). You are spot on!
I feel like I don't have any safe people now, but I can invoke the feeling of my grandmother when I was little. The smell of her sewing room, the texture of her sofa, picking sour gooseberries in her garden. Those are my safest memories.
Love this visual picture! I have some of those same memories about my grandma. Thank you for sharing.
That’s a great image! I can’t smell very well so I am sure how that room smells for you. What are gooseberries like? You don’t hear about those very often these days.
Emma do you know what would be really useful? A video on how to manage stress and anxiety when the factors causing this cannot be changed. For example leaving a horrible husband when you have no support network and money would be a real problem. And working in the same office as an extremely toxic Co worker. Please tell me what you are supposed to do when you can't remove the triggers. So many videos say just leave your job or leave your husband. Life isn't that simple sometimes ❤😢
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we can’t leave. Because it looks harder than the place that we are in now. When I was younger I left my mother’s place because being homeless and squatting was a much more healthy option than staying there. After that I got in a not healthy relationship. And told myself for years that I couldn’t go away because I would be helpless. Well eventually I picked myself up and worked to change and build my own support network again.
It’s hard but every thing is doable.
My mom had narcism, and my grandfather raped me and hit me and my mom got money for it. My father was a heroin addict. And my ex was all those things combined. And it was really messy to get away from and was scared for my life. Also was pushed into sex with friends of him that I didn’t want to and pushed in adult content that I didn’t wanted to. It scared me big time.
Now my parents are dead from suicide, have a awesome boyfriend. And bought a home. So I don’t believe anymore that people can’t leave. It’s hard to face the unknown. And scary. But being stuck somewhere that makes you miserable is not a life worth living. And I don’t like suicide.
So the only way forward is going to hell, and don’t give up.
you might want information on social work e.g. phone 211 in usa? your situation sounds more like you need practical help and maybe some coping skills to support you during a necessary high stress period? grounding excercises might help e.g. square breathing
I have a chronic illness and I can’t get away from my own body. I focus on what I can control and then create an action plan focusing just on what is within my control. The rest I have to accept.
I also use mantras to rewire my brain such as ‘ I am safe’ (even though I don’t feel safe inside my own body, but, the more I tell myself, I am safe, the more I actually feel that it is true)
I also use gratefulness, and focus on all of the things that I do have, and all of the things that I can do.
Also, acknowledging that nothing by itself is absolutely good or absolutely bad, everything is consequential. Leaving an abusive husband without a support network is very difficult, but the future consequences will be better than the current situation.
So for me, it’s all about changing the way I think . And I have managed to go from severe PTSD to actually feeling happy and safe. And I think if I can do it, anyone can. And now that I have managed to do that, I am actually starting to recover.
Ps I also take medication.
You can’t remove triggers but you can control how you react to triggers
Internal family systems is good for this
@@devikahendriks1976 omg :( You've been through so much hell, so happy that you've managed to build your life even despite such horrific experiences
My son has C-PTSD from the Marine Corps and hurtful marriage/divorce. I've been watching Emma's beautiful videos for a couple of weeks, trying to understand what he's going through and how to help him. I started reading the comments and my heart breaks for so many hurting people. I would give you all the biggest hug if I could. I pray for all those who need it, that you will have safety, healing, peace, and love in your spirit, soul, and body.
❤
Hi Christina! Sorry for what your son is going thru. I too have PTSD. Another channel on RUclips that may benefit is Tim Fletcher. Wishing you the best! ❣️
My grandma grew flowers for the local florist. Imagining her garden calms me.
My grandma had a huge flower garden and I would sit in the middle of the garden and feel safe. It is so hard to find a safe place now.
I hope this helps at least 1 person.
I remember seeing something recently that said the part of your brain that harbors bad thoughts, anger, anxiety.and the part of your brain that has good thoughts and joy are the same part of the brain. the 2 emotins cannot coexist at the same time. So when you begin to feel anxious start praising God. Speak truth to yourself and be grateful ... count your blessings one by one, and all that negativity will go away.
Pause, ponder, pray, praise. That’s how I’m learning to cope, through Proverbs 31 ministries. Prayer helps get it off your chest, praising God makes the devil flee. It breaks the neverending loop of anxiety, guilt and fearful thoughts. Gets your mind off the harmful thoughts and gets them into gratitude where they belong. Every morning I thank God for a safe and peaceful sleep because so many don’t sleep in safety or peace. Then I thank Him for my coffee and everything that went into making it, (including electricity.) That goes on til I’ve thanked Him for everything that’s good in my life. Then I listen to Dan Vasc’s Amazing Grace, O Holy Night and Adeste Fideles (Oh Come All Ye Faithful) which gets me to a place of joyful triumph. Then I tackle my day, and no, everything isn’t perfect but it never will be til I’m in heaven. Emma has helped me immensely by teaching me that triggers will still happen because we’re hardwired that way for survival. I had guilt feelings for not resolving those triggers myself. Now I know they are biological in nature and not something I can stop. I can learn to deal with them in a healthy way, however, through watching Emma’s awesome videos.
One thought that comforts me, especially when traveling, is the memory of my grandma, praying for me and my sisters with us, that "the angels may always protect us and be at our side".
I imagine my grandma (who died already 20 years ago) still sending those angels to watch over us. It may seem cheesy for others, but that thought has helped me many times. My grandma was also a comforting presence for me, very confident, decisive and determined but always warm and loving towards us.
I still feel a connection to her in a way, even after all those years that she's no longer here on earth.
What a wonderfull Grandmother you have! Even though she is no longer physically present here on earth her soul is eternal and her impact is still alive in you. Those angels are real and will protect you. You can pray for God to keep them ever beside you.
@@korneliadelzer73 ❤️
Being in a relationship with a narcissist for five years has changed me in ways I could have never thought. Slowly coming back to myself and my inner safety after three years.
After 20 years of anxiety. Substance abuse to try to manage it. Endlessly searching for a fix I feel these videos may have finally given me the solution. Discovered them a few days ago and I can't quite believe the change I'm feeling already.
Thank you.
me too. same story, instead I believed for 3 years I was hiv positive, and I wasn´t thank God. but since then, this was more than ten years now, but can you imagine to lieve believing that, was like , I dont even want to remember, the thing is I believed that I have a desregulated nervous system. I been doing humming technique today... feels great
No dog could ever scare me. After decades of caring for them, I know them, they can't scare me. I know all their tricks.
So many of my safe memories revolve around my grandparents, their house and my moments in time with them. They were such a decent, kind, stable presence and I miss them so much. Even more so now. But the safe places and people exercise is a great reminder of how lucky I am to have had them as part of my life, and that I have them still; a intrinsic part of who I am. May you all have an Alf and a Florrie. 💜
❤
Blanche & Howard
❤❤
@@shweetiepetina1563 Such great names for two surely wonderful people 🌻
Poppy Tom and Nanna Barb ❤❤
@@carolynhocking4569 How lovely - I’m so happy that you will always have them 💜
Dear Emma,
I want to really thank you from bottom of my heart. You're so kind and compassionate, this is rare quality in society and therapists. Thank you for shedding light into our hearts. God bless you!
❤
Emma,I am a 77 year old Canadian male and appreciating how much I learn from your videos
Safe places- a forest, beach, nature, Shoshoni yoga ashram
Safe people- my boyfriend, my son
Safe music- meditation music, singing bowls, nature sounds
Safe memories- camping, hiking, yoga retreat
Safe sensations- lilac, lavender smells, smell of campfire, feeling deep yoga stretches, petting my cat(s), my blanket
Thinking of sensations that make me feel safe - the feeling of eating a warm bowl of soup or drinking a hot cup of tea. Those sensations make me feel so safe, calm and relaxed.
Thanks💌
1. Safe places: My house, my room, a library, cozy rainy classroom
2. Safe people: my friends and family
3. Laufey songs
4. Study hall with my friends
5. Satin, weighted blanket, chocolate ice cream, petting animals, good book by a fire,
I can never get past step one here. I cannot think of a place, real or imagined, that I feel safe. Mind you, I am perfectly safe where I live and who I live with. I just do not ever "feel safe" anywhere. Any wisdom on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
If it’s impossible for you to even think of somewhere feeling safe, try imagining IN the imagination. For example, imagining youre at a beach doesnt feel safe to you, but try IMAGINING in that image that you do feel safe. That will help put the idea of safety into your head, even though it may not work as strongly at first.
That's a wonderful idea. Thank you very much. I will try that.
I like to refer to it as a 'calm or peaceful place' if 'safe' doesn't feel available to you. And whilst you are working on imagining your peaceful place you can experiment with putting an imaginary fence around it, or a bubble, or even giving yourself a 'magic wand' to banish anything unwanted that might feel like it's making its way into your space. Good luck and go gently on yourself ❤️
I'm reading a book by Pete Walker about CPTSD and he talks about using "enough" in our thoughts. For example, "safe enough," "good enough," etc... Perhaps using the suggestions above with a safe enough space will help. I know that some of my really early healing safe spaces were very remote, away from anyone or anything, and now the images are closer to where other people could be ✌️
I was struggling with this too, and someone suggested I think in terms of “safe enough” rather than “safe”. I don’t feel safe around other people, but in places i am comfortable and with people I am familiar with, I often feel safe enough. What’s great is once I regularly started recognizing “safe enough” situations, some of those started genuinely feeling safe!
As someone who's not normally anxious. I had a string of anxiety and brain fog for several weeks and am just now getting out of it.
It began with a minor physical ailment that turned into catastrophizing. "Will I ever be normal again? Do I have a disease? Am I terminally ill?" It disrupted my sleep, my appetite, my digestion, my waking hours, everything. It was absolutely awful. But I changed to a low inflammation diet, ( which may be related to brain fog - not enough research has been done on this ) I began walking and excercising more, but what truly, truly helped - thanks to Emma's video with Nick, I found a nice quiet place to sit, and practiced mindfulness. Focused on my body, my breathing, and Nick mentioned, "...You're going to get distracted," so, I thought, I'm going to focus my distractions then, and I focused on positive self imagery, and as a byproduct, I began to meditate, for ten minutes I did this, and for the first time in several weeks, I had gotten rid of my brain fog during the day, which was heavily contributing to my anxiety. That's when I realized, "Wait, this isn't a terminal disease. My brain isn't broken. This is anxiety! It's just anxiety," I never felt so relieved. This is something I can tackle. This is something I have the power to change.
I promise you, if you're reading this, you're not broken, you aren't incapable, you are so damn strong you can't even fathom the limits of your own strength that lies deep in your mind, your heart, your bones. If you stumble, if you fall, you will get back up, and you'll try again. You CAN become that version of yourself you see in your thoughts. Give yourself permission, it's okay to want that. One day, you will join that version of yourself in the light of the sun, and you will breathe deep the joy of regonzing your own strength and capacity to grow. I believe in you, but you must first believe in yourself.
I love you. Be well.
Love can heal anxiety. No matter if thoughts, body sensations, give a big hug towards it.
Its so debilitating for me recently..after so many stressful events...losing my best furry friend..literally relationship uncertainty...and job stress..where my future was heading in my mind..my health dealing with pcos...and just infertility issues..like...it all felt like so much...i dont have my father cuz he was toxic asf...and my older brother is just similar and annoying..literally i only felt safe with one person...but they betrayed me and now its like ehhhh i just want to feel better again...and safe in my own skin...but its scary for sure. So many distractions and i feel like i have no place in this world
Knowing that I have my own work, home and food on the table keep me at peace. I'm more concerned about the stigma in my neighborhood. I pray hard if I see episodes with the neighbors.
My safe places are with my grandmother in the summers when I could get away from my mother's constant anger and criticism. Gram made me feel loved and like I was okay for who I was. So - many places in upstate NY - the Adirondacks, Lake George, Central and Northern Vermont, Western New Hampshire.
The memories of summers in those places were bliss.
I visited New York state for the first time not too long ago. What beautiful memories you must have. I relate, alot of my first memories of feeling safe were being away from my mother, when I finally found some independence is a young adult.
SOO HAPPY I found these videos & such PERFECT timing as I just experienced some PTSD after contact from an abusive spouse I left (& went no contact) 4 yrs ago … I really needed this information to clarify what I’m experiencing & SOO GRATEFUL for the tools to WORK THROUGH this .
It was really important to hear that “avoidance increases our anxiety “….
And you feel like a very safe person which is also so helpful ☺️… TY!
this one hit home, thank you for sharing yr gifts. im going through burnout at 54 and realizing ive got toxic shame etc, a total nightmare 24 7, you are helping me alot thank you so much
One of my favorite sensations is taking a shower. It's one of the few times my mind is totally in the moment. 💖🌞🌵😷
Mine is a hot bath 🛀😌
@@fairy7101 I love a hot bath with Epsom salts. But some how the pressure of staying in 20-30 minutes to let the salts soak in, doesn't allow me to relax like a shower. For a bath, I usually have to play a video or podcast, whilst in a shower I can just disappear into the water... (🤫 Don't tell anyone, but some days I do both. I call it hydro therapy! 🤫) Sending lots of love 💕 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷.
Thank you so much for your videos!! They have helped me tremendously! Anxiety and panic attacks are so confusing, overwhelming, and debilitating. Having anxiety can feel so isolating. Your videos make me realize that i'm not alone and that there are ways, tools, and tips to get through this. Thank you
For taking tje time to provide free therapy to over a million of us.And i'm sure many more that feel healing and growth from your videos ❤
Ironically I'm 53, and Cedar Point, the amusement park, is my most amazing memory. Thanks for taking time, to educate the hundreds of suffering.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, at 57yrs old, I've realised how much my childhood trauma is affecting me, and I have lost that feeling of ultimate safety, I'll save this video and impliment these stragies ❤
Healing PTSD feels so complex and daunting. Thank you for your videos
I've made my mantra (unintentionally, but I use it continuously)-
" I am safe.
I am calm.
I am loved."
I get so much , and so many tools, from you. Thank you 🌟
Me too🙏🙏🙏
I was sexually abused by male relatives as a child. Eventually I was able to forgive my abusers. However, things like the Madeline Soto case trigger me and I feel anger and resentment. I knew it was associated with my abuse but didn’t understand where it came from since I had forgiven the ones who hurt me. THANK YOU EMMA! Today’s video taught me why I can’t get past the feelings of anger that aren’t always present but crop up periodically. Now I know that triggers make me remember the trauma and the memories trigger subconscious feelings of danger. Fight or flight and it’s all fight. It only took me 60 of my 65 years to learn this. I wouldn’t have ever learned it in this lifetime if not for my church family doing a group prayer for me today and me seeing Emma’s video. Talk about providence!
I find myself wishing I could do something meaningful for you after reading your comment. While I'm not entirely sure what is helpful and I'm just a person on the internet, please know that I (and a lot of people out here in the world) respect, wish for and have faith in your well-being. May you always be at peace, safe and joyous.
@@TenHo-g9wThank you! I was raised by an unsympathetic mother who knew about the abuse but chose to allow it to continue. Knowing someone cares broke me. I needed to get past that pent up emotion and crying it out was so helpful. Thank you for that. I didn’t know I needed that piece to complete my puzzle. God bless you immensely!
I'm in the freeze part of fight flight freeze right now and I'm picturing being in my Mum's arms on the couch at her house.
This video was so so so so so incredibly helpful. I’m slowly working through your workbook as well. God is using you is mine and so many others ‘ lives in powerful ways: thank you for sharing this and the video you make ❤🙏🏻 God Bless you!
My safe spaces:
- my room (especially my bed)
- my parent's house (where I grew up)
- a peaceful site at the river in my city where I used to grow vegetables with my friends an where you an jump naked into the river after gardening
(when I do a safe space imagination, I'll go there)
- a bench on a hill of my city
- the arms of my boyfriend
- listening to an episode of a kids show I listened to as a kid ( I don't know what you call that in English)
- a bench on a hill in my hometown where I can overlook the airport and nature surround it
- any mountain of the alps :))
(now as I'm writing this I think I could do an imagination of me mountain climbing next time I feels worried/unsafe )
Really appreciated and enjoyed this video. Having made considerable headway with healing my CPTSD challenged nervous system, I was recently crashed into by a hit and run DUI driver. Luckily he was caught, is being prosecuted and was even insured, and I had no serious injuries. Unfortunately, my car was totaled, and he aggressively came into my lane and was flipping me off as he hit me. No idea what set him off, we had not engaged in any way before the impact. This has strongly activated residual trauma in my system, and I'm struggling with dysregulation. Your reminders of tools I already know, and teaching a couple of new ones is so helpful. I'll watch the other videos you've posted from the series as well, thanks to your generosity in sharing your wisdom. You're such a blessing, and deeply appreciated.
I live with two sociopaths in the same room. It's hard to find a sense of internal safety. I'm also an external locus of control type of guy due to C-PTSD, extreme anxiety and dissociation. Pray for me!
I hope you can find a way to move.
May you be safe. May there be kind connection between you and a better community of people. May you and peace discover each other and become good friends. Please know that I (and a lot of people out here in the world) respect, wish for and have faith in your well-being.
@@TenHo-g9w aww, thank you! That's beautiful! I wish you the same!
Everything is temporary ❤, may god remove anything not for your highest good . Also breathing exercises really help to regulate my nervous system and feel a sense of safety , this may help x
Wishing the best for you. Keep living!
I've come to realize that I can't remember any places, people, or times when I felt safe and secure and I'm now 65 years old
Using humour gives me a huge sense of safety, it's a strong shield... even absurd and black humour those are resonating with life well
I have seriously lived in a near constant state of fight or flight for the majority of my life..... It's so bad.... that working through this exercise literally has my entire body tingling as it begins to relax! THANK YOU FOR THIS! TTvTT ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for all you do Emma. I'm in the middle of a divorce that i do not want, after 30+ years of marriage. I'm dealing with stress ,anxiety, & situational depression. You've been instrumental in helping me out of a dark place, and finding a "Christ based" therapist through Better Help. Keep doing this work. You are saving lives.
Long time I couldn’t recall any safe place. But finally I think I can call some safe places for me: it’s 5 star hotel lobbies). It’s always comfortable, spacious, good smell and deemed lights there, good background mucus or piano. All around people in relaxed mood. Although there are many people around they are on their own, not communicating with me. So I feel safe because all my senses tell me it’s good place and I’m not alone, and I can be on my own there
this is the first time a youtube video has actually been helpful with my anxiety
I use these techniques in my EMDR sessions. Thanks for sharing this. I don’t feel so strange now dealing with the beam of light for healing ❤
Safe place is home, gym, I feel fully accepted by a loving mom who transitioned in 2022.
Transition to what
@@e.williams13 transitioned is a better term meaning passed away or saying "died".
@@thinkpink0608ify oh ok😢
Beautiful video, the way Emma blended many ways to help ourselves.
Making the safe places list made me realize that all my safe places have either been taken away, destroyed, or are unaccessable physically anymore. Imagining my self in these places is a bit scary too, because, well, I think I could very easily put myself there, and never come out of that imaginary state., a self induced coma if you will. There are no safe people left either, really. My existence has taught me very cruelly that these things to, are easily taken away so I'm afraid to depend on their comfort. To imagine their existence falls back to the aforementioned delima of how to do this and still come back to a reality that just so sucks that living in a virtual mental state is preferable.
This is just what I need right now. Thank you so much. I love your videos and find them very helpful. You are amazing.
Hi this sense of anxiety stayed with me all day yesterday, this video is for me thanks!
I love your safe place. I am keeping that image in mind.
God Bless You Emma!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I am working with a therapist Re: my struggle with anxiety…I watch your videos and they truly teach me A LOT of good information that I then take to my therapist in my notes…
I bought “Love Anyway” tee shirts for myself and my daughter!!! I felt some stress a few minutes ago. I really don’t know why that unfortunately is one of my big issues I don’t know where my anxiety is coming from… But I am working on it. One issue that I had watching this video was when you said, “think of a safe space Like a place from childhood, etc.…”
And that actually caused me to have a little anxiety panic attack because one of my issues is feeling out of control and dealing with loss, death, etc. so when I thought of something that was from my childhood or somewhere I don’t have access to now-
it caused me to have a panic attack…is there some way you could address this? I am working with my therapist about this sort of thing, but I was hoping you might have some words of wisdom or some coping techniques regarding this type of issue. God bless and thank you so much.
My therapist once asked me where I feel safe, and I really couldn't think of anywhere in my current life where I truly feel at ease/normal/safe. So I suppose the suggestion of an imaginary place, or a place I can no longer get to, works best for this scenario. Safe, serene, seaside.
Emma, you're truly a blessing
I love such straight forward common sense and logic to help. It’s the point about practising, exercising the “muscles”. Thank you so much
Emma I hope you're doing sooo well and your family and loved ones too! Thank you as always for your warmth and wisdom. God bless you
You are wonderful and an incredible healer! Thank you sooooo much. I just stumbled on your channel and you are saving my life. I mean that! I feel hope and happiness like I haven’t in a very long time. You are a gift from God. God bless you and your family. You are an angel of light. 🥹💕
Thank you so much for sharing this!! Not only does your insights INVALUABLE, but your compassion, your genuine drive to help leople and purely YOU, are such a pleasure to watch. Thank you😊🌱
Here's a simple technique. Set a meditation timer to 15 min. intervals. When you hear the "ding" check in to see if you are/feel safe. Notice how many times you are actually fully safe. After a few weeks change it to every 30 min, then at every hour... It has helped me to see that I truly am safe the majority of the time.(really, so far, all the time but things can happen!) Using a single chime sound makes it not disruptive to others.
My safe place is the sea wheather it’s surfing, sailing or swimming. Love calm dark start night sailing on a boat and snuggling up in my lounge with kids🙏
I have come back to this video because I remembered how relaxed I felt listening to you describing your place of safety. This is such a reassuring video and I particularly love that you talk about "imagined" people and places - there's a reason that certain books and movies can be so comforting, and many of us have a "comfort character"!
Thanks for all you do, Emma. I've had counselling which has helped but doing further study using your videos has really empowered me to be able to continue looking after my mental health. ❤
Your always so positive and brave wow climbing mountains
I have this memory of me as a child on a double swing with my sister- us just having fun, swinging together wildly and shouting swear words. 😬
It just felt so good to be safe enough in that moment to shout out whatever we wanted and to feel free and strong together. 😊
I just wanted to add- I'm not a big fan of swear words now as an adult, but as a kid in that moment it felt really good to break the boundaries a bit and to allow myself to say/ shout-out whatever I wanted. I think kids can feel restricted a lot, I certainly did. It was great to find that safe space with my sister with no adults around so we could feel free.
These exercises may work for anxiety, but when you have severe trauma, you cannot THINK your way to safety. The only way to get there is through a felt sense of safety; it’s a somatic experience, not a cognitive experience. This is why affirmations and gratitude journals sound good on the surface but don’t actually move trauma victims out of trauma.
It’s a 30 day course, one suggestion isnt the fix and cure all for every degree of trauma….listen and take in and gain skills from the whole course and continue educating oneself on trauma to work with ones own level and condition of trauma. Not all teachings and suggestions or studies work for me, we are not all from the same mold.
I agree, what resources have you used?
🙏🏽
I’d suggest watching more of her content. She has tons of videos addressing those concerns. I’m thankful for the incredibly helpful content she shares here for everyone.
I agree
I love that you offer actionable exercises. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge so freely with us.
¡Gracias!
Watching this amazing video of yours made me realize that watching your videos and listening to you are on my safe places and safe sensations list! I can't thank you enough! ❤
Thank you Emma. Once more, a very great video full of useful and helpful suggestions.
Thanks
Teşekkürler.
Nature can feel safe together with expressing your thoughts on what you feel safe and good,collecting leaves an branches, and the smell of it
#2 - Mary Mother of God, oldest grandson
#3- classical, Gregorian chant
#4 - sitting on grandpas lap watching TV and learning about President (Eisenhower), reading Christmas story to grandma while she made Christmas cookies
#5 - incense at Mass, Chanel #5 perfume
Thank you so much 🙏
At the start, You explained every single day for me.😞
But I’m looking forward to to jumping in and working through your coping strategies 🙏❤
Amazing advice and guidance, thank you.
I'm mortified of vomiting, my wife has been sick over the last few days so literally any sound my stomach makes gets me very anxious.
Hearing "I am safe enough, I've done hard things" was nice. It's so simple, but it's a nice reminder that I will get through it, even if I have to vomit.
This is powerful medicine and I'm so grateful to have found you🙏 just watching 2 videos has completely changed my approach. So many simple tips that are easily invoked when needed. You're a 💎!
This video is wonderfully reassuring. Thanks for sharing.
I feel annoying sensations and feel weird as if it’s not me I am dealing with health anxiety I had fear and pain all the time for months it drove me insane. I am now starting to accept this so I can recover
Thats so normal, I was scared as shit that I am the only one feeling like that and that I loose my mind. But you are already in a process of healing, beliefe me. Your body always heals (eg. when you cut yourself the body will ALWAYS close the wound and not make it worse) but your mind is interprering it wrong. Go trust your body and give it a hug. Let it do what it wants. Breath deep and slowly in your belly button and give yourself love, love and love. Where is love, even anxiety itself turns into a safe protector telling you it just wanted attention on important topics. And thats what it does indeed. Anxiety tells us to pay attention when we neglect ourselves. So say a big thank you and give yourself all the love you have. My nervous system was tricking me and scaring me and guess what: the sensations giving me most fear turned out to be signals of discharging stress. Trust your body and give love to it. Put a loving hand on your sensations and hug yourself.
Your voice is so calm I don't even need to do the exercises. I just need to listen to the video!
Thank you for your help and kindness 💚⭐️💎
Safe places:
At my sisters house with her and my nephews
At my Aunt Jo’s house
With my ex’s Mom at her home or at their family cabin
Safe People:
My Sister
My Uncle Jason
My Aunt Lori
My StepDad?
Safe Music:
Available by Elevation Music
Church Instrumentals on Spotify
Distractible Podcast on Spotify
Safe Memories: My ex setting up board games in front of the fire at the family cabin
Safe Memories: spending the night at my Grandma’s house. I was always safe. It was always calm. I always knew what to expect.. and she spoiled us by making our favorite treats.
Safe Memory: drinking hot cocoa and buttered toast while driving around to look at Christmas lights.
Safe Sensations:
- good smells
-cuddling my cat
-vitamin water (dragonfruit flavor)
What about when all the memories of safe places, music and people are tinged by grief, loss, sorrow, and these exercises seem to have the opposite effect?
I can relate 100%. These exercises don’t work for people like us.
Wow. I cried thro this whole video. I believe I have feeling safe issues.
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤ I enjoyed the exercises. It’s so helpful. I love your warm smile and gentle style of teaching ❤
You are very generous and loving in your advice, thank you.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
Can Dr.sporessss send to me in UK?
My safe place is listening to you rite now! Thank you.
My safe place is my parents, just talking to them makes me feel better. I don't know if I have a physical place where I feel safe
I don’t have a safe person or place. It sometimes feels as if my life didn’t start until I met my husband, but, he has become moderately unsafe. I am learning to stop focusing on the abuse fro. My family and his.
There is no moderately unsafe. There is safe and not safe. Get out and get help. You are your safe person.
@@e.a.miller6503 I am not in physical danger. This is an emotional issue. Thank you.
I just love your information, the way you deliver it.. and you! 😊
Listening to your voice makes me feel safe.
Thank you Emma….you are a national treasure. God bless you
Emma u have so many ppl who r ur support system ppl who suffer from Anxiety have no one to lean on or no one who understand them that's why anxiety nd dipression hppn.
God Bless Emma
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thanks!
I know how you feel. I went through the same thing for 3 years + I hope you find some peace ✌️
Hi Emma! This is Nan. Christy Whitman taught me another Vagus Nerve/Parasympathetic Exercise: Just inside the earlob ... I place my index finger. Hold and breathe. Switch to the other side. Hold and Breathe.