The Adult and the Inner Child - Episode 1
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- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2024
- Hello guys!
Welcome to the first episode of the Adult and the Inner Child. This is a series all about strengthening our bond with ourselves and re-parenting work.
If you like the video, please like, comment, sub and share : )
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
0:55 What Is Inner-Child work?
1:56 Think of the Inner-Child as a Real Kid in Your Life
2:33 Security + Separation
3:27 Inner-Child vs Adult
6:16 The Child is the Expert on the Past / the Adult on Present
6:52 Examples of How the Inner-Child May Run Us
8:37 Assignment #1 - Childhood Photos
9:39 Assignment #2 - List of How Our Inner-Child Runs Us
10:21 Assignment #3 - Read "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child"
10:45 Final Thoughts
11:05 Outro
Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
➡️ linktr.ee/patrickteahan
⚠️ Disclaimer
My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
My therapist told me about the inner child thing and when my aunt heard that, she asked me "how come they say everyone has an inner child, but I never feel my inner child running me? I don't have an inner child because I have dealt with my personal problems not like you, and I'm very mature." That was awkwardly her inner child moment, a person who constantly need someone to tell her that she's more special than others.
Good insight! I have a cousin who needs to be the best all the time. She has a sister only 18 months older and her sister (also my cousin obviously) has always easily outshone all around her with her qualifications, career path, looks, charm, good luck..., it must have been hard to grow up beside. My cousins have a good relationship, but my younger cousin, the less accomplished one (conventionally) uses me as a tool to make her feel better about herself. I am not competitive and she tries to bait me in to competing with her so she can ''win''. Even when I haven't a clue what the prize is,
These sound like narcissists.
@@siouxmaelstrom4042 She does. But she's already so much better than my mom, who's a complete narcissist. My grandma has 7 daughters and 1 son, and my mom was the golden child of their household. My grandma abused other kids and let them serve my mom. I got abused by my mom to serve my sister too and ran away from my home to seek protection from my aunt, because she had the same experience I had. I have bipolar and needed to rely on someone to sustain my life. She provided me a home and a normal enough life and I provide her the satisfaction of being a better mom than my mom. That's what she needed for her whole life. And she indeed is better. It's still pretty tiring to feed her emotional needs especially when I'm depressed. But that's what it takes to survive.
I have a narcissist dad too and sometimes I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Im also diagnosed with BPD and my life stuck here not being able to stay stable to do anything, but I'm glad I'm stuck here and need to deal with these when I'm young. Otherwise I will just become my aunt when I get old. In fact, none of my mother's siblings has no problem. 7 out of 8 of them are divorced and the remained one is a widow. Their kids (my cousins) are either like them or hate them.
This aunt got into superstition and believed that the reason why I have mental illness is because I'm possessed. She doesn't understand that I'm bipolar and I'm sometimes hyper sometimes depressed, and she couldn't stand seeing me staying in my bed for the whole day. Basically I wasn't recovering according to her agenda, and that was mocked by other aunts. Then she started to think there's only evil spirit but not mental illness. I ran away from her again. I don't know if this is my borderline trait ruining my relationship with anyone, or is just my coping mechanism. After I got diagnosed, anything I did that didn't fit their taste became a sin of my borderline self. But the more I interact with them the more I feel like I'm normal.
@@SusanaXpeace2u I can definitely relate to that. My coping mechanism is, when you know that it's their inner child speaking then just treat them like a child. There's no prize for that comparison anyway so you don't lose anything letting them win. I don't have wisdom teeth but have a lot of facial hair (comparing with other East Asians). One time we were at dentist and I told her about not having wisdom teeth. The dentist said that it's a sign of evolution, that in terms of this I'm more "evoluted" than others. And she immediately responded "but she has so much facial hair and other people don't have that much. That's a sign of less evoluted." Immediately I wanted to say "how do you think of other races then? Are they inferior?" Because she admires my cousin's husband, who's a caucasian from Germany. But eventually I didn't say anything because such dispute is pretty meaningless, and if I "win", she would continue talk about whatever disadvantage I have until she wins.
@@user-cu1yo7ty5j I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I can’t imagine living with someone who thought I was possessed bc of my mental illness. Sending you the best vibes and I hope things get better for you.
When the therapist uses phrases like "get our shit together" that's when I'm most comfortable. Thank you for not being afraid to step away from a very rigid "clinician" kind of mind set.
Why did this video make me cry? I feel so sad for that little girl that was me.
Same. I’ve forgiven my mom and therefore let go of resentment though. I wouldn’t be who I am without my traumas.
Now, I just cry and grieve for little me. To try and not take out my grievances towards others aka my adult self. It’s a lifelong exhausting marathon unfortunately.
I have to admit, I used to think the whole “inner child” thing was silly. Now I see the value in it because you don’t have to look to others for validation, reassurance or healing (and possibly being disappointed); you have the power to become a self healing and self sufficient person. I am looking forward to doing this work with a great sense of empowerment. Thankyou for giving everyone this opportunity! 😊
I always thought it was silly too until I understood what it actually was!
Me too, thankfully I got over that but I delayed some of my most important recovery by almost 30 years.
Same, yes I can see it being very healing and stablizing. ❤
I'm still thinking it's silly. Like an imaginary friend.
@@ravneiv 😆
Please don’t stop making these you could make a real impact
Freaking yay!!! I NEED this! My mom is a narcissist and my dad too. Very dysfunctional! I was feed and clothed but psychologically abused!
I know exactly this is also in my family, my former MIL was an excellent stay at home mom, “ILLUSION” and her adult kids have problems now!🥶
this is all too prevalent. me too.
Same here, Terry: fed, clothed, yet neglected. It has been hard to find support when others never saw physical violence. I am so grateful for these online groups for sharing, empathy, and guidance. I am eager to follow the advice given here. I hope you find healing, comfort, peace!
Same here, but barley clothed. I had two or three tops but if I wanted something different to wear I'd have to borrow my mom's b.o. stained tops--was never allowed new clothes.
My parents were MIA.😕
homework/tasks to help u
1. Make your baby/toddler pics your lockscreen
2. Make a list of how/when you think your inner child is running you
3. Read John Bradshaw's homecoming (chapters 1-4)
the first time my therapist did inner child work with me, i bawled. i never noticed my inner child and it made me devastated to see how afraid and insecure she was. i want to do anything to protect her, and that means the adult me needs to get better. thank you for this video:)
I realized that I've never really accepted or admitted to myself that I've been hurt and traumatized when I was a kid. And because of the lack of emotional support in our household, I either kept all my emotions to myself or I supressed it, and recognizing my inner child's survival strategies just saddens me.
Thank you for this. I hope more people gets to see this channel ❤️
8:56 to 8:59 "this is important because you were important." I hate how much I needed to hear this but thank you for saying that
💜
The idea of setting a picture of me as a kid as my phone background made me burst into tears - seems like there is a lot of needed attention that I haven't given myself.
I'm already invested in what you have in store for the next episodes.
Thank you and greetings from Germany!
Same. She was just so helpless.
Me too...I had a physical reaction to that. Whenever I see pictures of me from childhood, I *feel* sadness. I could never figure out why until the last few months of therapy.
Same to me
Gosh, me too 🐣
Me too. I was like she didn't deserve to be treated the she was treated.
I am so grateful for your videos. I grew up in a dysfunctional household and I struggle with emotional safety, which makes me hyper vigilant of other people and their "agendas" and I have made adult relationships difficult to navigate for me. I went to therapy and I was only given superficial fixes, which was only surface level help. I had started to get hopeless and resentful but thanks to you, You are really out there changing lives.
My inner child viciously hated me when I first started to contact her. Over time I have had to prove I am there for her and be consistent. It’s a process. I now have a good daily communication going on and it for real feels like an actual child is there. Also my inner teenager is there and is vibrant, courageous and can be extremely intimidating and I really have to work with her and explain a lot to calm her down, but this work has been the most healing for me hands down. I’m glad to have these videos to bring a good structure to my process as well as the ACA Fellowship. 💚🙏💚
Mine too. Very angry
My counsellor at school encouraged me to connect with my inner child. She gave me a box of sand and some kids toys and asked me to just do whatever i wanted to. She said there were no expectations or agendas it was just time for me to use the room as i pleased to do what i wanted to. I tried to but it genuinely gave me this intense uncomfortable feeling, i found it so awkward and unnatural. It was interesting to reflect on though, why am i so incredibly uncomfortable with it? It was weird, im still not quite sure why i was almost repulsed by the idea of acting like a child. Even though i literally am a child. Weird and uncomfortable but interesting lol
I somewhat relate to what you say here.
I never got to know the aspect of inner child, I only know about it now that I watched the video and discovered him.
But I do feel stupid and awkward as well when I am put in a position to be 'childish' and I think it is (for me, in this case) because whenever me and my sister were playing, my mother would get angry for the noise we made. When time went by, she would also shame us a bit with looking weirdly when we were doing stuff, like playing in the sand when we were 9 or something, bc it was something only little kids do.
I ended up not playing anymore when I was 10. My sister, being 3yo younger than me cried often bc I didn't want to join, since it felt really stupid to do since 'I am too old for that'.
Because of your comment it made me realise that it is in fact 'not normal' to be uncomfortable to do stuff that you had done as a kid. But if you are being shamed on doing stuff as a kid, it is most likely your inner child is 'brainwashed' and tells your 'inner adult' to get their shit togerther and not be so stupid.
I don't really remember where I am going with this, but it was really interesting to start to think about it hehe
Hope it may be helpful ^^
I hope you are well~
@@kimberlyceulemans6015 This definitely helps me reflect on some stuff in my childhood too. I was always very conscious of how much sound i made when i was playing when i was younger because i didn't want people to hear me. My sister is about 6 years older than me and so she never really wanted to play with me when i was younger and because of stuff going on at home it put kind of a wedge between us. I also heavily relate to the having to grow up way too soon aspect of things, i grew up with a lot of instability in my household with my parents always having bigger issues so from about the age of 5 i've had to step in between their arguments and be the mediator. Its hard as well because i know that they didnt neglect me because of maliciousness or hate, they just have had a very rocky life themselves.
Im glad that its made you think about these things too because after i had told my counsellor that trying to do that had made me seriously uncomfortable i felt a bit pathetic, because its not a big deal for me to be childish i just struggle to connect with that part of me. She had also told me that some people come into her room and when asked to do that they just instantly connect with that part of themselves and use the room how they want to which i found really interesting to hear. It may have been that i was anxious about how she (or others) would view me for acting childish because i didnt want to be judged for acting "immature" since ive always been praised for being very mature for my age.
I also stopped playing at some point when i was younger and didnt want to play with kids younger than me because of how awkward it felt. I think i struggled to see myself in kids who were only like 2 years younger than me precisely because i had to grow up too soon and so i put myself in a parental position when around them because its the only way i knew how to interact with them.
Ive recently been thinking about my home life a lot and looking at videos about it and i heavily relate to the neglect side of things and how that manifests in the way i view myself and others. Id recommend u look into that too because it may help u to understand ur upbringing a lot more and provide some clarity. I recommend the channel psych2go!
I think, in my case, the part where he mentions that the inner child and the adult are merged is very true. My inner child has merged with my adult from a young age because i had to take on more responsibility and not cause any more trouble than we already had. I think im heavily critical of my inner child when it comes forward because in my head im being way too immature or selfish and i shame myself for it. What you said about my inner child almost being brainwashed into being the adult is really true to me! I think my inner child is just masking itself behind that front because its ashamed of itself and is almost cast in a shadow because of how it needs to take on both roles in order to feel in control. Always being praised for hiding that part of myself probably wasnt good for me either because it just reinforced that me shunning my inner child was good for me and for others. Im rambling now but it helped me to think more too so thank you!
I hope you're doing well too, Take care!
I love to play, but not around my mother. She isn't the abusive parent, but she was put in a position of trying to keep peace between the kids and our father. She still does this. She told me I was immature because my best friend was in a lower grade. She was literally 3 months younger than me. She disapproves. I would feel apprehensive about the free play too. I was harshly criticized by parents and classmates making me totally paranoid about being judged.
I had that feeling too, lol.
@@ojh.0_o being praised for hiding that part of you!! That rings bells with me. Can't really remember as kid to really have had the change of being a kid. Yes I could play but even that had to be in an orderly manner with no much noise and so on.
Plus always having to look out of how mum was (she'd been suffering from prbly bipolar or something like that, but back then the diagnoses was as usual "nervous breakdown").
Now I find myself as having many times this urge of wanting to do silly things - like really not adult like.
There's Dr Kim Sage who's got some good videos as well. One of them was - avoidant attachment and parentification - where she asked if you like doing thing by urself a lot of times, like just be by urself not wanting someone to share in the activity - a sign of not really having lived childhood....
Wishing U well!
Patrick, these videos are changing my life. I just started reading Homecoming, and it is the best money I've spent in a long time. I am on page 13 and have related to everything! I am 58 and my abusive father died 20 years ago, but the emotional scars have never left me. God bless you. I am ready to put in the work to be able to heal. I am sick of my PTSD interfering with my life! I am so sorry that you suffered as well. You are a choice human being.
Tomorrow I'm going to binge therapy watch...can't wait...this channel provides the most useful "self therapy " that resonates with me. Thank you for providing every one with an opportunity to heal by removing the barrier of cost.
Perfect! Love the homework assignment. Started doing imner child work the last couple of months and kinda flying blind, glad to have some direction. I describe my inner child as the one who hides behind things and emotionally can't handle shit.😊 I keep telling her she is safe and I got this. I love the analogy of adoption because that's how it feels.Thanks so much for helping those who want and need it! ✨🧘🏼♀️✨
Love the computer analagy.😁
I did also! Unless you've been working on a the more efficient version and are forced to revert back...you can't understand how hopeless that feels
Okay! I’m STOPPING at where you say that CREATIVITY Is at the Inner Child part. FROM EXPERIENCING Adult TRAUMA, my CREATIVITY has virtually collapsed to NOTHING! I used to be a quite exceptional artist, but since extracting myself from the Abuser and going to therapy, I have UTTERLY NO INSPIRATION OR ABILITY TO EVEN START AN ART PROJECT!
Could you, or anyone PLEASE shed some light on this for me?
Thanks 🙏❤️
Edited …. Actually an addendum! Now after WATCHING this entire video, I’m blown away and KNOW that I’m HERE, IN THE RIGHT PLACE, FOR WHAT I NEED!!! I have been THINKING about a specific photograph of myself and older sister, for about 6-9 months. I cannot stop FEELING & REMEMBERING about how bloody confused I appear in this photo! It also tells me how I believe that ANIMALS, specifically 2 species have always been my rescue back to life! I cannot wait to do the assignments and read the material you’ve suggested!
Thank you SO VERY VERY MUCH!
I’ll be back!! 💕🙏❤️
I went to my mom's a couple of years ago specifically to bring home pictures of myself for this purpose. I need to put them in frames - thanks for the reminder!
We.never had any pictures on the wall, during covid, I found a few of me young and some deseased loved ones. I see them every day and it's true I have built compassion and love for myself and understand my childhood from a new perspective. I am that girl trapped as an adult with so many growth memories that lead me here.
Yeh, I get too ''heated'' in conflict with my parents. I say conflict, I mean, trying to be heard by them. They hurt me a lot but they will NOT acknowledge that and they tell me they have endured enough shouting from me. They make me so crazy with rage. Nobody else makes me feel like this. What do I say to my inner child? Like ''I would like to hear you''.
With everybody else, I avoid conflict totally, but with my parents, I"m still trying to be heard. That's my inner child. Also, feel like a good person, good humoured, sane, solvent, decent, but single FOREVER. That's something to do with my parents.
The hardest part of all this, is to stop trying to make our parents listen.
They never did, probably don't know how or don't care and we can scream our selves to death before they listen.
I'm/Minime is hurt every time I try to connect with my parent because he simply doesn't listen. My sister told me to stop expecting him to change, just because I do (she has seen the light about abuse).. And she is right.. He isn't doing anything New, I'm just trying different stuff to no avail, hurting myself all over again.
Sorry for the rant - short answer--just tell yourself that they are horrible for not listening, it sucks, but you Will listen to Minime (or what ever you call your younger selv) 😊
I understand how frustrated you feel. Over many years of healing work I've come to the pla e of realising that there is tremendous healing power in radically accepting these feelings of rage despair and rejection...realising that these are valid logical and powerful emotions.
.and the healing comes from receiving and valuing MY OWN validation and acceptance of my Self
Yes, 100x yes! This is how I've overcome most of my childhood trauma, by talking to myself as a child and telling her the truth, that she's not the things her step mother told her she was. That the voice in my head is the liar, the anti mother.
Thanks for the tip! 💜💚❤️
Imagine you fostered a kid, and they had had your childhood.
Wow.
That’s a great way to put that.
After seeing this video I purchased the homecoming book and I’m blown away by how it breaks down what I’ve been feeling for years. I’ve read so many self help books, but this was the one I’ve needed. Thank you for continuing to help so many people. You do more than what all of professionals would call “help” after a $200 session. Much love ❤
So happy to see this information provided for free. The kids that often need this information the most are often the ones whose parents would rather gnaw off their own arm than allow their own child to recover, much less to see a therapist who can help them.
Personality disordered parents WANT their children to grow up as dysfunctional as they are so that they can keep the pathology going. It's really sick how these parents really think. They last thing they want is someone to get out of the pit they've dug for their children.
Hi le th!! I can see that we are following some of the same channels ;)
I do have to disagree with u to a certain extend.
As already Dr Fox said in many of his videos it's maladaptive behaviours which drive our lives and therefore the ones around us are affected by it.
It may be that u are thinking about NPD ppl in u'r comment - but even those as sad as it is are deeply emotionally stunted in toddler age.
I NEVER EVER wanted my kids to end up having any kind of dysfunction which would impair their lives, and I repeat NEVER.
Growing up with mum who had her own issues which were back then only brushed away as nervous breakdowns was challenging.
I would say that my childhood time was spent a lot dissociating in order to cope with what was going on around me and then later on taking on the fourth trauma response - to fawn. Till I was 18 and then I was gone!
I moved halve way round the world but didn't realise that my inner child came as well and in my luggage amongst the belongings were as well my unresolved issues from growing up.
Long story cut short.
Married, three kids. The ledest is very aware about mental health issues and does his own reading.
The second one still at home has got some issues but the one hardest affected was my girl.
I was an emotional unavailable mum, with my own constant level of mild depression and OCD but cos of the way I was taught - "U got responsibility, u can't be weak, u got to stand up" - I never realised my own state of being.
The final blow for her was when her gran passed away, she was a stable person my girl would always turn to since little.
After her death she developed severe anxiety, started self harming, withdrawal from everyone, psychotic breaks (hallucinations).
Treatment was very limited available, as from what I saw the therapists didn't have much experience with PD's.
She commited suicide on the 11. February 2022.
It's 301 days to the day.
Please don't put every parent with a disorder into the same pot of them wanting their kids to be that way!
I'm 48 and it's only recently that I've come to realise that even my mum (despite having traits of overt narcissism) never purposely wanted bad for me.
Her getting older (77) she is becoming more vulnerable and enquiring about me and my mental state from time to time!
Thanks for reading and hope my English is understandable. Native German speaking here :)
100%!! Accurate
I've often felt like other people are asking me to be an adult and that I don't know how, and I don't understand how other people know how. Yet, I HAVE been adulting for 24 years. I've bought houses, Ive obtained jobs, I've planned and executed international travel, I've started and run a business, I've obtained rentals, learned a tonne of skills from carpet cleaning to timber frame joinery, AND raised a child! I often feel I'm stuck at 16 though, in the way I think, talk, and deal with problems, and I struggle to earn people's respect. Some development stage is missing. I think all of the above apply in what you say about how my inner child runs me. I think I'm starting to develop though now that my father had died. Just waiting for the last bit of the estate to be distributed, then it will be closed, and the strings cut. I still feel vulnerable. What will he do next? I bought The Emotional Incest SYndrome and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Homecoming is on my list too. I got stuck in the first of them because it asks you to write your life story. That's supposed to be a 3 hr assignment, but no way, not for me! It's a good project, pretty emotional. Good to look back though, with adult perspective, on things I've kept buried all my life. When Dad died, I did a video on how he affected my life. Unfortunately it's banned on RUclips because I used a Don Henley song in it. : ( I'm not changing the music though, the songs are important. It's for me anyway.
I also like to think of this as if I'm going back in time to my childhood and parenting my younger self.
Thank you so much, Patrick. At almost 60, I wanted to let you know that I still occasionally lack coping skills. So, I am following this episode very carefully. I ordered Homecoming, pulled out some pictures, and worked on that list. Sadly, I have to wait up to 6 weeks before the book arrives to Germany. Just image, 20 years of therapy and this was mentioned!
Good luck!
Thanks for doing this series. I just found these on You Tube and I'm soaking it up. Does this inner child concept trigger anyone else? If so and you've gotten past it, how did you do it? When my former therapist would bring this up, it always felt a little like she was handing me a child and saying, "Here, parent her." My internal response is always, "Wait a minute. I don't know how to parent anything. I'm a wreck. I still need parenting myself. Now I'm supposed to care for this child?" Anyone else?
Thank you. I've often wanted just to sit with a therapist and recount the violence I witnessed and the unintentional emotional abuse I experienced. What stops me is not wanting to place that burden on anyone else. I'm pleased with the chance to do some work here. My inner child and her attitudes toward men can be very annoying and counter productive.
Therapist wouldn't feel that as a burden. It is just normal for their job. You might have felt lke a burden to your parents so now you feel this way...
Dear pursuit, find a counselor who does EMDR therapy. It will possibly change your life!!
I realize it's been a while but I do hope you have or will work with a professional if it's available to you. A therapist will not feel any more burdened than a mechanic would when you bring in your car with a problem.
To keep using the car example: it's not your fault that your suspension got damaged due to poor road conditions, but you CAN prevent further damage by bringing it in and fixing it sooner rather than later.
I don't have access to photos of myself from childhood, but I think if I did I'd find it so so so hard to even look at them. That tells me I have some work to do there. I can't bear looking into the eyes of that girl and knowing what she's going through and how far she still has to go before she finds safety.
"Im ok. You're ok." The book assignment from Psych 101 back in the day. 😉
Wow. Great video. I love how you give homework and put great visuals to explain. I am extremely grateful for you and the work you are doing to help. Thank you!
I love that you’re interactive with your followers. I am in the process of learning about my inner child. It’s so uncomfortable. Is that common? Feeling so uncomfortable with this, and these videos?
Same here.
You are the likely the best authority to speak to your own experience, however I think it's really common to feel uncomfortable when we are challenged about patterns / habits that helped us survive these types of things as we were growing up but are no longer relevant or helpful because our nervous systems / automatic processing patterns haven't yet been updated. So, this kind of information could feel, on the neurological level, like your very survival is being threatened. You likely know that this isn't actually literally true but those old deep neural patterns take time and support to re-form. Hope you can be gentle with yourself across your healing process and that you are able to get the supports you need for your healing. Know that you are in good company! Many of us find this very uncomfortable, especially in the beginning of growing our awareness.
I'm going to do my homework tomorrow... Everybody you do it too because you owe it to yourselves as an act of compassion and love.
I’m not sure if you are on the spectrum but it’s so helpful to hear computer analogies and lots of visual pictures so I appreciate you doing that. I have Aspergers and your videos are very effective.
"mike from accounting isn't actually evil" lmao but his dry sense of humor and hands off attitude are sabatoging meeeee 😂😭😂
I need this. Never prepared, pick wrong people, chaotic mornings, all if it!! Shew!!
The first task alone just made my heart race. That sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. I don't want to see her or think about her. But I think that's probably also the exact reason I should do it. I paused the video, but now I'm even more anxious about what this second task will be. 😱
This was a fantastic wake up call for me, that I'm letting the inner child take control. Every single behaviour you listed is something I'm prone to doing. I feel like I can use this information as a tool to function better in my day to day life, literally starting today. Thanks for sharing the knowledge
Anytime I had a role in a play or having a chance to sing at church anything she either didn’t let me go or never wanted to attend. And she told me she wasn’t going!!! But I mustered enough strength to go and sing. I remember my aunt saying when they gave me the verse she can’t do that! The choir director looked at her and said “yes this baby is” and I lead that song! But I see where this came from. No one wanted me to shine so I learned to dim my own light. But I’m slowly learning how to heal from all of this. It hurts a lot sometimes I cry for hours thinking about it, but I know I need a way to release pain. You are loved and I admire your strength love!!!! Stay blessed.
Thank you! When you said "You are important" I just broke because I was not important in my family so I have lived like I am not important or worth anyone's real time. WOW!
I'm in a strange situation where I am a teen, however I feel like I have an adult and an inner child part of myself.
Omg!! I thought it was stupid to feel this way!
I feel the same, and I think it is because the inner child has been 'damaged' and so had to 'grow up', which became the adult. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is the best explaination I can come up with atm
I hope you're well ^^
Omg me too! It's like I always have these two people interacting inside my head! One is always more panicky and scared and angry and the other one is always more soothing and rational and colected so to speak
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. These types of content are what makes me most grateful RUclips exists.
Patrick your videos make so much sense to me its frightening and exciting at the same time. Im older and I wish i had learned this earlier. TY.
My very favorite thing about you and your channel is not only do you provide information and validation, but also A SOLUTION 💜
❤❤❤
Thank you - great timing!
Started doing the work a couple of days ago, and man did it make a difference in my stress levels! Then yesterday kinda didn't go as planned and mini me took over😑🤷♀️
I'll just have to talk to my self some more😊
I couldn’t imagine my Saturday night having been any better, thanks to your videos which prompted me to pull out my “therapy notebook” and dive head first. Big emotional activation right away was a sign that I was online and ready to spend some quality time with myself, present and rooted in my feelings. Blessed to have healers like yourself providing tools like this so readily available. 🙏🏼💙
"Shame panic attack" I need to get that as a tattoo or something.
Honestly!
Bradshaw is in libraries too. I love having homework. Thank you
Doctor, it took me a year of therapy and several successful talks with the inner child and holding parents accountable to being able to practice extra therapy based on your videos. Before this year of therapy I consumed all your videos as a practical information. Now this is a new level of diving deep into my psyche.
I'm still on chapter one of this book. I've been taking breaks at every paragraph that relates to me and it has opened my eyes alot. I was so confused at alot of things and I knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. Now I am slowly understanding the reason why I lived in so much shame with no identity whatsoever, and why I was deeply afraid of expressing my own desires.
Edit: I reached chapter 4. It's painful but I'm learning alot and doing the exercises with trusted friend.
Omg windows 95 was the best! Haha love that analogy! Thank u for ur awesome videos! I’m going to try to write that list..wow!
❤️
Omg I got called out so bad when you said "binge-watching Netflix till 3am and polishing off a whole thing of Oreos when we have to get up at 7am" yikes
Such a struggle to even find my inner child. I was abused by a narcissistic mother and emotionally absent father, as where my siblings (3 older brothers). Also sexual abuse by a brother. I’m 71 now and being on a uk pension I cannot afford a therapist, never could. I try to ignore the pain as much as possible. I’ve seen quite a few of your videos now. ❤️ from England
How beautiful it would be to heal and to have my daughter heal . My grandchildren deserve it. I love them all so much. Thank you Patrick.
Ive been acknowledging my inner child lately, she even came out to say she loves me and to be strong ❤️
I saw her and tried my hardest to comfort jer
I'm grateful for you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ the world needs you
I paused the video and downloaded Bradshaw’s book. Couldn’t get through the prologue without crying. I hope you realize how much you are helping.
Love to you.
I was adopted at 6 months. The one and only time I stopped trying to please my adopted mother I was SHOT DOWN and told; « I can always return you, you know. » I have been unable to defend myself without overreacting or crying ever since. (Except for during COVID when I was meditating daily) I am 69. Buying that book to read TODAY!!! Thank you!
That’s what I’ve been doing lately, parenting my inner kid. That’s probably why the algorithm started showing me these videos. It’s very smart to listen to me tell people how I’m buying my inner child a root beer or when I’m at work talking about why I dyed my hair. It’s for my inner kid. This fucking androgynous child that in a way helped me connect with my own androgyny in such a way that I’m surprised to say I didn’t anticipate. Some times you really do need a child’s blessing. And it’s great knowing that at least I’m not the only one with an inner child.
Man, you were the cutest kid! I actually cried when I saw the photo. It makes me sad that little children get hurt the way they do…even when the parents are trying their best. Thanks so much for all you do and explain!
You're a god send. I honestly thought I was the only person who felt like this, and so shameful. Then you said exactly what I was feeling. I'm older and single. New neighbor kids moved in across the street and the 9 year old twins visit me a few times a day. Somehow it's helping heal my inner child and become the adult. I'm starting to live in the moment like a child and move on. Does that sound strange?
"and hopefully get our shit together"...that was well
placed and was comforting by keeping it real, lol 👍
Totally get this. I recognised this problem instinctively myself after suffering a parental bereavement. At the point of bereavement the inner child hidden rage immediately calmed. Up to that point the rage was a constant perpetuating thing because I was having to continually deal with trauma every day. But with the rage came a lot of hurt and that hurt still remained. So my inner child and I started to converse and I started to parent her. She knows she's protected and loved now and that it was OK to feel that hurt but together we'll move forward and she can have everything she didn't get but deserves. That being unconditional love but above all, validity. A child must have validity. Now she has it and we both feel much better. I'll cherish her and she will want for nothing now.
I'm going to therapy but your videos really help me get through the week in between sessions and keep working on myself outside of them
Thank you so much for making this series. In conjunction with talk therapy, EMDR, and ACOA meetings I have made many attempts at doing inner child work but it is so difficult for me to connect to her because of the pain barrier of intense grief. I have also not been encouraged to do such workable steps to help connect, so I thank you for these first few activities. I know exactly which picture I will select and am looking forward to diving into 'Home Coming'. Hopefully I can break through my resistance! You are a gem!
I started watching a lot of these videos lately and even though it's been really hard, my inner child told me today that she was thankful to me for finally making a space where she could be safe to be noticed. Even though she often causes disruptions and feels uncontrollable when I notice her, I'm glad she can finally start saying how she feels so I can figure out what to do next
I love your stuff. A LOT of people on here do what you do - but you're the only one where I've said, "ok he gets it"...
when you made the foster care analogy i bust out crying loool I work with foster kids, and i was watching this bc i was upset/triggered by a situation that one of my kids is going through, which is something that i also went through SOOOOOO i aint gotta imagine that
This is what I have been searching for for a while. I've been on the journey of self discovery in earnest for a few years now and you have helped me get off the plateau I have been on for months. Definitely a lot of climbing to do still and I appreciate your work more than I can describe here.
I have a picture of my younger self on a make up mirror. It first it was a dissociation, now I am used to doing make up every day with this child. Caring about this child makes me care about myself
Your videos have had me taking the most fervent notes I’ve taken in my life. No school lesson has compared! Thank you so much! I’ve had such a hard time relating to my inner child and communicating, I think because I didn’t understand what it was.
I wish I had someone explain inner child like this to me years ago, I would have resisted it way less. Excellent videos.
This channel has been more supportive and helpful to me than almost any other on RUclips
I remember when Bradshaw was on public television. That was a long time ago.
I met my inner child for the first time back then. It was frightening to see her back then… she was emaciated,sheet white, sick and dying on a little bed in the dark with only a bare light bulb overhead..she didn’t speak or acknowledge my presence nor did she even move 😢. I thought she was dead at first but I kept visiting her anyway… it was horribly painful to see her but I didn’t give up…
With time, therapy, love, patience, perseverance, understanding and 12-step program little Jill eventually got out of her death bed and gradually came alive… and it turns out she is actually a very lively outgoing tomboy wearing redhead pigtails, sneakers, sporting a sprinkling of freckles across her little nose, loves to run around/ have fun , wearing overalls and her nickname is PETE! I adore her and am developing a good relationship with her 💙… which has been tough for her because she doesn’t trust me because I have not protected her in the past. She requires a lot of reassurance and proof that I am becoming trustworthy.
Just bought HOMECOMING and looking forward to even more recovery 😊🌸❤️😇
You are a God-send. Those of us who know, know. These silent pains and horrors that dictate our lives. Until....key souls like you bring light and show the path...xx
Thank You Patrick for sharing these. My therapist recommended Homecoming too. I’m on a solo holiday to relax by the beach and focus on me & your channel is a comfort & informative source to listen to. 🙏🙂 I’m able to forget my marc mum at home & not be triggered
Patrick, I’m so happy I found you. At almost 55 years old, I’ve been busy trying to deny the impact of my traumatic childhood for decades. I’ve not allowed myself to grieve or recognized the impact the trauma has had on my life. What a gift your body of work is to me!! Thank you.
So weird. I always felt like I am not an adult like everyone I know. I even study and work in psychology and it brings me such shame that I only realized "zero ornvery little presence of an adult" is really what's happening with me and has been happening as far back as I can remember. Waiting for more insight and help.
Late reply, but I started therapy a couple months ago and am just not coming to this same realization. It's crazy, but in just the two months of working through thoughts and behaviors w/ my therapist, I've noticed a huge improvement. It's insane to think of how long I've been letting my feelings from adolescence run my life, and I'm finally starting to understand and improve things day by day.
I think we are all just larger versions of our childhood selves!
@@Joelswinger34
Absolutely! 🐨
Inner child - treat this as you imagining your adopting a child and be a parent to the child. Reinvent a connection to yourself. Things for me to reflect on: is my inner child too emotional or shows very little emotion, find a pic that speaks to me. Good video thank you 😊
Thank you Dr. Teahan for your channel. I found one of your videos a few months ago when I was struggling with extream negative emotions and I think flash backs to my personal trauma. not gunna lie I almost lost my fight and was getting ready to take a perminate nap but I was so interested and engaged by your videos I just kind of started to binge watching your channel and next thing I knew it was time to get my daughter to school.
I have no doubt that If i didn't see your channel my daughter would not have her mother and my husband would not have his wife today.
so again thank you for all the hard work you do and I can't begin to explain how Proud I am to see how successful and happy you are.
I’m very glad I found your videos.
Great stuff Patrick! Thank you
I have no doubt that these videos save peoples lives. Thank you Patrick!
Thank you for this. Please continue
This is a great demonstration. thank you!
Thank you, your videos are healing and much needed
This is perfect timing. Thank you. I look forward to doing this work.
You have such a gentle soul, Patrick. Thanks for all you do❤️
Thank you. This was so clear and so so useful.
Thank you for uploading
I like you. I’m going to watch all the ads all the way through from now on.
THANK YOU❤️ omg you are so calming we are lucky to have access to these videos
I've started to read the book today. Thank you so much for your work!
You are wonderful, so grateful I found your channel.
Can I just say how ADORABLE your childhood photos are??!!❤❤
Thank you. You are incredible for doing this!
I signed up to your email update list. I know you are not accepting new clients or couples (I'd want either) but I wish you had a patreon or more videos...you really nailed my mother in those narcissistic mom videos and the inner child stuff has helped me alot. Really great content,please keep it up! If you wrote a book I would also buy it. I watch a good amount of psychology videos but yours definitely stand out-you make it easy to understand thank you
That is me.😭😭♥️ I am so grateful to find you ❤️. Thanks