Well ...there is an agenda here, it's the agenda of the guardian desperately trying to claw back some respect and views as they have become a joke that is losing money at a phenominal rate.
@@thoughtcriminal3843 i do get the impression somebodies trying to save face here, or women have been relieved of pressures they put on themselves by being so controversial, anyway let's go along with it but never forget.
We are easy to manipulate when we are outraged or afraid. The warriors amongst us are easy to exploit what with the military running school recruitment sessions.
Great piece of transparent and truthful journalism. Thank you for uploading the entire interview. Thank you Neil for sharing your relatable story, it is full of useful wisdom.
@Truthful Chap So you have managed to infer her entire mindset as well as the biases of the Guardian from a slight smile on her face while she's speaking?
Well done for not cutting. People need to learn to increase their attention spans. Journalist's always seem to cut and edit things out of context. I wish everyone did this. More context, more info and let people think for themselves
I mean I think it's executives underestimating individuals craving for intellectual stimulation. Millions listen to podcasts for that reason. If you want to increase attention spans, fight to get people off of social media and read a book.
@Ligeia D.Aurevilly More than that, self-pity becomes difficult to pick up on when you will yourself to sadness. Sadness blunts one's own instincts to take charge, thus further reinforcing misery, weakness, and apathy.
@@theeagle488 Yeah, I understand that. If I may share an experience - being truthful is unbelievable. It really changes the (your) world for the better - especially if it hurts very much :-)
She state from the beginning that it's not the opinion of the Guardian. Why would she need to specify that an interview is not their opinion. And what is the Guardian opinion ? They simply need click to keep the light on....
Mr T. I would actually like to get the guardian’s new perspective on this as long is it doesn’t turn into raising questions over whether JP and his followers are racist homophobic misogynistic etc
@@yolodrol7500 You consider this video something that should have been done long ago? This is telling men to be completely subservient to women. Men need to be told to have dignity, not become second class citizens.
Thank you for this. As someone going through a divorce and who attempted suicide because of it, it really resonated with me. I couldn't agree more that meaning and responsibility are integral parts of masculinity (if not humanity) - I thought my meaning was my wife but sadly, I was wrong and it was a mistake to put meaning in another person as an attempt to avoid having to fix my own flaws. Now on a journey to finding that meaning.
I feel you. I separated from my ex. Ive been fighting to see my 2 boys of 3 and 5 years old. I really thought of ending. I seeked help with a therapist at kaiser hospitalhere in Los Angeles. I can go on. To make a long story short, I realized suicide is not the answer. I will see my kids and I will be happy. You and I are stronger than we think. Stay cool and strong.✌👍😀
I dont agree with everything he’s saying but I appreciate how you never tried to jump down his throat and get angry about what he was saying. You allowed him to speak honestly and openly without feeling judged. It seems like a weirdly rare thing to expect of a journalist nowadays.
@@Panzer_ze_tank Character exists as an impression left by the deluge of one's actions. Such a tattoo isn't a stoic action, and as a result of its prominent and permanent placement, contributes crucially to the impression that this character is no stoic.
Neil is hitting me so hard right now. Every word he says just carries so much power. There's no "small talk" here. It's big, soulful, and heart-wrenching. We just don't speak like this as a society. Iman also did a fantastic job at interviewing him and really engaging with him, whilst also adding to the conversation and exploring the topic with nuance and depth. This is a really fantastic series, and I sincerely hope for more content of this quality. Bravo to all involved.
I really appreciated both episodes of this series and was especially grateful for how open and talented Iman Amrani was with interviewing. Now that I've watched the full interview I have even more gratitude for Iman! Well done. Seriously. Well done.
@Brad Smith FFS this girl is just doing what journalists used to do day one of their "profession" and in the recent past was a run of the mill interview. Just tragic to see how far the cancer has progressed and that ANYONE would find this amazing.
@Brad Smith You may be right but I can't tell from the comments whether QT thinks its the Guardian reporting or Neil's story that he finds pedestrian. I hope it's the former.
I want to say a massive thank you to this interviewer and to Neil for this very much needed conversation. Me being a young troubled man ,trying to get through life, i found the ideas presented here not only very relatable and useful,but also very inspiring. I realised that i have wanted to have a discussion like this happen for a very long time. Great journalism ,a great man, and a great 42 minute video. I hope the Guardian keeps delivering great content like this. Kudos to everyone involved!!
Thank you for uploading the full interview and thanks Neil for sharing your ideas! There were lots of interesting ideas in this interview that I found really insightful but also really confrontational in a good way, things that made me really look at myself and at what I'm doing.
It doesn't seem to me that this is the case. He doesn't seem generous at all with who he was when he was younger. He understand what has happened to him, but sees the reality from a perspective of someone who doesn't forgive his own mistakes. Specially when he says that his suicide attempt was cowardice, so all suicides come from a place of cowardice. But yet this is an awesome interview.
Dumfries Spearhead he stated so because of his own experience, he even said so when talking about his attempt. I can relate as well to be honest. Examining my own attempt a few years back it also came from a position of not wanting to face the difficulties of life. In an objective view, most suicides could in fact be viewed as selfish, as he stated. In fact that’s what one person told me after my attempt. I denied it, yet that is exactly what it was.
Thank you for this. I can't even express how reassuring it is to hear the opinions & experience of someone I can relate to and learn from. I grew up without my dad, he left when I was 3 and I've probably seen him less than 20 times in my life. And I guess because of that, I've always felt like I had to fill his role. I had no idea what I was doing or really how to do it. My mum was and is amazing, but I'm lost and finding direction is very, very hard. Hearing thoughts and opinions like this seriously help and until now, and until I started watching some videos from Jordan Peterson, I've felt like there was nowhere that I could go for any advice - at all. Having a real news source in the UK explore and be genuinely interested in topics which directly relate to my life is eye-opening and the first time that I've felt included. So thank you again, great journalism & a great approach. I've turned on notifications for the series so I keep up with it.
We'll probably make it public eventually. We wanted people to watch the second episode in the series first but if enough people want it we can make this one public too.
@@theGuardian I think I understand, but disagree: the longer form conversations we are seeing sprout up on RUclips and other places are the future for "debates" such as these. The public is hungry for it. If you give people honest, deep and interesting content (such as this) they will keep coming back. As such I think all the videos related to series should be front and centre. I'm looking forward to the rest! Thanks Guardian!
i love this interview, this seems like such a scary dude, but to hear mans honesty and not being afraid of positioning himself into a vulnerable position makes him even a bigger person. massive respect to these two people, even the journalist not having prejudice towards big man !
Nice to see Guardian you are taking notice of the tide that is approaching. I stopped buying your paper about 7 years ago after being an avid reader for 10 years prior. Keep doing stuff like this and I will pick one up and have a read to see if anything has changed.
Don't think the paper is going to be around for much longer; it's really only there for those who grew up reading the paper and already have the habit ingrained, and they're not going to be a significant portion of the population for much longer
I love this guy. Not just men but we women must do the same thing. Are we conforming to the indoctrination of parents and all societal narcissism which is rampant or are we going to be critical thinkers and be who we really are meant to be. This man is beautiful bc he is obviously being authentic and has transferred his knowledge into wisdom.
You see what happens when you present balanced information, without an ideological agenda, Guardian? People love it! More please. And kudos to this excellent interviewer.
@@quewntenerif616 on the very definition of what Jordan Peterson teaches young people, no, ideology is not realistic or sustainable for anything, people who’ve watched his lectures understand that. Have you ever listened to what he teaches?
Women go on and on AND ON about the NEED for little girls to have female role models, and then turn right around and openly ask boys "why do you need a man to teach you that?" The lack of awareness, which gives the appearance of outright arrogance...it is actually a bit infuriating.
I agree, but at the same time we're talking about women as if they're 1 entity. She might not have ever even thought of female role models, and she's doing an interview where she wants him to explain it.
I dont comment much on videos, but the thing that really stuck out immediately is preparing young men on the hard times. He nailed it 100percent. Thank you for sharing and putting words to it, that's often the hardest thing for everyone.
These series are indeed what we need to bridge the ever growing gap between right and left. Problems are only being solved when we tackle them outside of the two party politics system. Bravo Guardian, You just won a conservative/libertarian over :)
when jordan peterson talks about masculinity, the guardian shouts: neonazi! dangerous! when some face tattoo'd dude reiterates what JBP has said, the guardian posts a 42 minute interview about it putting essential in the title. whats up with that?
Most of those articles are opinion pieces, written by people playing the status game where you have to drag someone else down to lift yourself up. This video, however, showcases a more honest and open form of journalism, where you let the subject do the talking, ask questions about their perspective, and make the watcher form their own conclusions. As a result of that you gain more insight and understanding of the issue at hand coming from a firsthand account. Kudos to Iman Amrani and The Guardian for this series.
It's sad and unfair when your opponents mischaracterize your arguments (often because they could not deal with your argument truthfully) but in a real debate the side that is most open to change is usually the right one, because they want truth, not just to score points. We need more of that, and less name calling, or our society will destroy the very freedom that makes it great in the first place.
I realised something! When I used to try to escape or practice escapism I was not the one in controll! Now, I am in controll of my own experience in my work, learning and living... and gradually taking controll of my life and how I view it will give me hapiness!
Neil is the man, hands-down. He has transformed his difficult and traumatic life experiences into wisdom and truth, and, thankfully, is unafraid to speak it with anyone and everyone. He is 100% correct when he says that we need more men, like him, to share this with young men. Equally important is to build young men who desire to hear his message and others like it. If this were to happen the women of this world who regularly say they want "good, strong, sensitive men" will receive what they're asking for.
This man is on the Quest to identify and express his true self. This is the Holy Grail and even the commitment to find it , once experienced, blows all other motivations out of the water. Now he is "lit from within" and outer conditions and circumstances don't really matter.
This guy has some very serious stuff to say. Very nice conversation, Iman kept the flow go naturally asking the right questions without trying to trap the guy.
@Kyle Mylo I agree to a point. When I was suicidal though, what kept me going is knowing the pain it would inflict on my parents. I used to think that I didn't care what happened to me, but I could never put anyone in a position of losing their child. And me taking myself out would in effect cause a woman to lose her child. I thought of it in that detached way. So it didn't hurt me to believe that suicide was selfish. In my particular case it kept me alive. But I imagine every person's case is different so I'm not making any sweeping generalizations here.
Thank you for the great work you are doing here, Iman. Journalism is crying out for raw, honest, open-minded, long form discussion. You are doing an exceptional job at capturing this issue with integrity and balance. It's refreshing to see.
"without a male in the home...without TWO PARENTS...the children fall behind in school" i think the takeaway is not a male absence but more that TWO parents provide more support for a child- both emotional and FINANCIAL - than one parent.
Love the fact that you uploaded the full-length interview, this long-form content really allows you to take away something from the journalism that you wouldn't without the full story.
Beautiful! The truth that this man has found for himself. Its not about what decision you make differently, but about actually making a decision, maybe for the first time in his life. Most people stumble from situation to situation...never knowing why they are and do.
He’s talking about empathy and our society is rampant with societal narcissism today. Not only does society and its leaders not have empathy they perpetrate more pain on all of us.
5 лет назад+50
The cirisis in Masculinity will and is being resolved by Men who have decided to go their own way by stepping outside the societal narratives and defining their lives on their own terms. They are useful for themselves first.
Kind of, but responsibility kind of entails being useful for/to others, defining part of your life on the terms of others as well as yourself, and stepping inside the societal narrative, no?
@@monroecorp9680 That only works if you choose who you wish to be useful to, for your own reasons. Bearing a burden just because others expect it of you means you're reliant on their regard for your own self-worth. When they're inevitably ungrateful and entitled about your service, your ego (and the willpower it fuels) goes hungry. Only when you are your own mental point of origin can you ascend past that mental slavery.
This is seriously underrated. I am at a loss as to what is the reason for the lack of attention to this, not to common but important topic with excellent journalism.
i really like this guy. honesty is such a noble quality. any one willing to be this transparent is worthy of my time, and anyones, truth deserves to be heard. great interview. "as long as you're lying and manipulating situations you'll never become the person you want to be." true daaat
"It takes a man to teach a boy to be a man" love it. - As you cant use a bike to fix a car or a scooter to fix a motorcycle, relevance and identity is key.
Thank you, Neil, what an intelligent, thoughtful and respectful conversation. Great points and keep expanding our minds. Thank you, Iman Amrani very good content and wonderful interview.
Not sure about the ending... Sure, men who grow up in father-less homes do worse on average, but we can’t just assume it’s because of the lack of a male presence. What about mother-less homes? The abandonment issues that come with it? Children from lesbian parents don’t do worse off, neither do gay male parents’ so already gender doesn’t seem to be the issue. The footballer role model analogy also doesn’t really make sense to me? There’s nothing stopping a female footballer being his son’s role model, the only important factor should be that they can play football well. I guess it’s more down to the fact that footballers are already separated into genders (with one regarded much higher than the other). But the analogy wouldn’t really work if his son wanted to be a painter for instance, despite the fact that again there are a lot more famous male painters out there. There’s a lot of ill-informed comments about toxic masculinity down here. Toxic masculinity is not an inherent hated of all ‘masculine behaviour’ it’s the idea that a man can not be anything else other than society’s expectations of a masculine person - He should not show emotion, be feminine in anyway, he can’t back down, should be big and muscled, etc... It’s a lot to be burdened with and is what (mostly likely) causes the higher suicide rates amongst men. Sure maybe society does need masculinity, but masculinity’s definition needs to become a lot looser and femininity is just as important.
Men, especially young men, will not model themselves on women. They just wont. The answer to "why do men need fathers?" Is not "but what about moms?" Men need fathers, not obfuscation from feminists.
The greatest flaw in focus on "success" is that it distracts us from a proper focus on character. A person of great character who lives through tragedy and failure, especially outside of his own control, is an important story. Too many people get attached to the success story and don't bother to consider the character of the person they follow. And if some of those people get far enough down that path to discover it has no rooted meaning, that can be a real existential crisis. One of the best people I met aimed to get as much of his resources as possible from within his own being. And after all the ways my life has been dragged through the mud due to others being unstable and unreliable, I really have no interest in the success story, especially from people who don't understand sorrow, anger, grief- the reactions to tragedy and evil. With yin and yang, if you blind yourself to the dark parts of the world and life, you're missing an integral half of the recipe for meaning and purpose. After losing everything, all I have left is the proof of my character, the fact that I survived, and the chance to start over again.
When it comes to suicidal tendencies, I believe the need to provide value is primal, especially in men, and so we allow financial situations to overwhelm us. Not to mention the societal pressures inflicted through a variety of mediums that portray poverty as a lack of character, or manhood if you will. However, I'm not a psychiatrist, so please forgive me if I'm off the mark. I'm simply sharing thoughts derived from the darkest moments of my life, as well as how I view it in retrospect. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, take care.
Thank you so much for posting this! Such important conversations more of us need to be having. We also need more men like Neal, he's amazing...should start his own RUclips channel ;)
I think there’s a thin line between a man sinks into his feelings & doesn’t get help to move forward. And a man who acknowledges his feelings not afraid to take a moment & then move forward. We’ll living in time where as men we are allowed to acknowledge our emotions.
This series and John Harris Anywhere but Westminster stand out as the best videos this channel puts out. Why? Simple. You get out there, talk to people, ask question, listen and show us the unedited conversations. You afford us the ability to listen along with you and make informed opinions, but also learn anew about our own country from the ground up. Thank you.
100% RIGHT. CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK. I SUFFERED WITH DEPRESSION FOR 30 YEARS. ALL I DID WAS CHANGED THE WAY I THINK. HAVNT LOOKED BACK IN THE LAST TEN YEARS. LOVING LIFE. AND FREE.
The two most valuable things a person can know, are that they're living in the experience of the principle of thought taking form in the moment and who they really are. Well-being is innate, if you allow it to, without interference, the mind will correct itself. There's a built in psychological immune system.
Thank you. As a man-loving woman and a sex and transformation coach for both women and men, it's very hard to say this without gushing :-D. It's brilliantly and respectfully done and both parties really showed up in their authenticity. It's quite stunning. Gonna have to watch this over and over again. Thank you so much Neil for sharing and being your truth. Thank you Iman for being so brilliant, respectful and listening so deeply (it is rare to find). This is packed with truth, heart, and useful wisdom. I'm SO looking forward to more episodes in this series. Thank you.
I know this is unlisted, but I'd really hope that in the future you put more long form content like this on the main channel. This is what I come to RUclips for
Bravo Iman Amrani!!! More of this kind of honest probing and less closed-minded ideological preaching and I might actually regain some respect for the Guardian... that used to be my favorite newspaper back in the day!
I'm a father who had an opinion on how to raise his children. My wife degraded me in front of our children to many times. She forced me out. We are going through a divorce. We have been separate for 3 years and my children have stayed with me only one night. Been by myself for three Christmas. I'm beyond and just want this over so I can start my life over. My children have been poisoned about me. I pray someday they understand.... I'm now am part of the MGTOW movement... I will NOT commit ever again....
Such an awesome interview and I respect Neil so much for what he's gone through and what he talks about in this video. One thing I do think is true is that boys need fathers but girls need fathers as well. I'm a 19-year-old girl that was raised by a single mother. My relationship with my dad isn't bad, I've seen him and been in contact with him all throughout my life and I love him dearly, but it's not as close as I think it should be and I too feel like listening to Jordan Peterson has been an immense help to me. And that's why I don't think that it's just boys that suffer from a loss of meaning without their fathers, but daughters as well. Because we live in a society with both sexes a man cannot be purely raised by a man nor can a female be raised only by another female. Children need both a mother and a father to raise them and to teach them about their responsibilities and life. Now, I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I just want to say that even though what Neil is saying applies to men, I think that those same problems of loss of meaning can also apply to women. And that Jordan Peterson's message doesn't just apply to men but also to women.
Год назад
31:04 1. Help others, help alleviate the pain 2. Be useful, don't cause unnecessary trouble, don't cause any harm 3. Actively seek out truth Make life worth living. Act as an anchor to the suffering and malevolence which will come your way
This is the man who should be filling arenas etc.! Neil speaks basically the same truth straight forward without all the confusing language games and woo-woo! Massive respect for his honesty and actual changes he made. I think he is what every lost young man in JP's audience is longing to be (-come)!
I remember always being treated like I was a problem waiting to happen to society... pretty much all through school, starting in the first grade. If a boy did something, all the boys sat out during recess. If the class was talking, "Boys be quiet". If I had a problem, and I asked the teacher, "Oh well." I literally stopped caring when I was 9 years old. I had 0 encouragement, and was completely ignored even up through high school. I was passed over when my teacher handed out Art AP sign up forms. I got up and took a sheet off my teachers desk and looked her straight in the eye and didn't say a word. I got the highest AP score the next year out of the entire class.
We've got a new episode with Neil in season 3. Watch it here ► ruclips.net/video/SMco-JZOuUo/видео.html
Isn't it funny how much people appreciate honest, balanced journalism without an intention to smear or drive an agenda. More please
If anything it’s sad that it’s such a rarity.
Well ...there is an agenda here, it's the agenda of the guardian desperately trying to claw back some respect and views as they have become a joke that is losing money at a phenominal rate.
@Truthful Chap yes, it will be interesting to see where they go with this series.
@@thoughtcriminal3843 i do get the impression somebodies trying to save face here, or women have been relieved of pressures they put on themselves by being so controversial, anyway let's go along with it but never forget.
Like the guardian normal,y does you mean
"Your feelings don't indicate truth" - this is SO true, and is more important to remember than ever in 2019. Emotion should never overpower truth.
@@danohyeah5893 Oh please people on the right are just as guilty of this.
This is one of the core tenets of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Challenge your Emotional Reasoning.
@@Lillithowl true that is
This all stems from Post modernism. In Post Modernism everything is subjective, ie you make your own truths.
We are easy to manipulate when we are outraged or afraid. The warriors amongst us are easy to exploit what with the military running school recruitment sessions.
Great piece of transparent and truthful journalism. Thank you for uploading the entire interview. Thank you Neil for sharing your relatable story, it is full of useful wisdom.
@Wizard X What's an interbirw?
@Wizard X what's "r"?
@Wizard X serieus question: why do you choose to be so angry? Whats the fun in that
Wtf is wrong with you “Wizard X”?
@Truthful Chap So you have managed to infer her entire mindset as well as the biases of the Guardian from a slight smile on her face while she's speaking?
Well done for not cutting. People need to learn to increase their attention spans. Journalist's always seem to cut and edit things out of context. I wish everyone did this. More context, more info and let people think for themselves
People have. Just look at how popular Joe Rogan is. It's the media that wants control
He’s easy to listen to 👍
I mean I think it's executives underestimating individuals craving for intellectual stimulation. Millions listen to podcasts for that reason. If you want to increase attention spans, fight to get people off of social media and read a book.
"There is comfort is sadness". You are so right.
@Ligeia D.Aurevilly More than that, self-pity becomes difficult to pick up on when you will yourself to sadness. Sadness blunts one's own instincts to take charge, thus further reinforcing misery, weakness, and apathy.
21:50 'I had lots of places to hide, and that's what I did.' Very powerful confession from someone recognising their own flaws, wow. Great interview.
This is such a fabulous interview. Thank you so much for uploading the entire interview.
This.
This guy needs a Podcast, and quick!
Its like the badass version Jordan Peterson.
@Kaktus123 It's no COMMAND or something, more like a WISH I guess, and I understand it, I'd subscribe to that immediately.
This bald guy with tatoos really needs to do public speaking at uni, schools etc . He changed my life with this short video.
Do you know Jordan Peterson? Check him out if you don't know him yet. The stuff here is all based on Petersons lessons.
@@tubehicks7037 yes I do but I feel like this bald guy can relate to it more because he has experienced it
@@theeagle488 Yeah, I understand that. If I may share an experience - being truthful is unbelievable. It really changes the (your) world for the better - especially if it hurts very much :-)
@@tubehicks7037 not sure if you are being sarcastic or not? 🤔
@@theeagle488 I'm mean it. To admit your own faults (and thus be truthful) can be quite painful. But it also helps to change.
I take my hat off to the guardian for this.
She state from the beginning that it's not the opinion of the Guardian. Why would she need to specify that an interview is not their opinion. And what is the Guardian opinion ? They simply need click to keep the light on....
Mr T. I would actually like to get the guardian’s new perspective on this as long is it doesn’t turn into raising questions over whether JP and his followers are racist homophobic misogynistic etc
@Moomin Wow the psychosis is strong on this one. Keep that tin foil on tight.
This is what they should've done long ago. It's too late now! F*@K THE GUARDIAN!!!!!
@@yolodrol7500 You consider this video something that should have been done long ago?
This is telling men to be completely subservient to women. Men need to be told to have dignity, not become second class citizens.
Thank you for this. As someone going through a divorce and who attempted suicide because of it, it really resonated with me. I couldn't agree more that meaning and responsibility are integral parts of masculinity (if not humanity) - I thought my meaning was my wife but sadly, I was wrong and it was a mistake to put meaning in another person as an attempt to avoid having to fix my own flaws. Now on a journey to finding that meaning.
I feel you. I separated from my ex. Ive been fighting to see my 2 boys of 3 and 5 years old. I really thought of ending. I seeked help with a therapist at kaiser hospitalhere in Los Angeles. I can go on. To make a long story short, I realized suicide is not the answer. I will see my kids and I will be happy. You and I are stronger than we think. Stay cool and strong.✌👍😀
I wish you luck in your journey.
Lucas Ferreira thank you!
I dont agree with everything he’s saying but I appreciate how you never tried to jump down his throat and get angry about what he was saying. You allowed him to speak honestly and openly without feeling judged. It seems like a weirdly rare thing to expect of a journalist nowadays.
Dylan O Brien what is it that you disagree with?
@@davidcross9811 If you have the word STOIC tattood on your forehead, you are not a Stoic.
@@Panzer_ze_tank Character exists as an impression left by the deluge of one's actions. Such a tattoo isn't a stoic action, and as a result of its prominent and permanent placement, contributes crucially to the impression that this character is no stoic.
@@Panzer_ze_tank Stoicism is a school of philosophy.
Neil is hitting me so hard right now. Every word he says just carries so much power. There's no "small talk" here. It's big, soulful, and heart-wrenching. We just don't speak like this as a society. Iman also did a fantastic job at interviewing him and really engaging with him, whilst also adding to the conversation and exploring the topic with nuance and depth. This is a really fantastic series, and I sincerely hope for more content of this quality. Bravo to all involved.
If this guy writes a book, I'll buy it.
He was essentially citing Jordan Peterson for most of his answers, you realize that?
@gillysuit2 Quite a few people have.
@@SWIFTzTrigger and Peterson cites Carl Jung and Dostoievski. Who cares.
@@JustLikeRAV exactly so go read the source
@gillysuit2 Chillax
I really appreciated both episodes of this series and was especially grateful for how open and talented Iman Amrani was with interviewing. Now that I've watched the full interview I have even more gratitude for Iman! Well done. Seriously. Well done.
I never would have thought that The Guardian would make such an amazing piece
what do you find amazing about this?
@Brad Smith it's a guy talking about his life and opinions.
Me too these days with it's appalling liberal sickness running right through it's core, tomorrow, back to same Spots....
@Brad Smith FFS this girl is just doing what journalists used to do day one of their "profession" and in the recent past was a run of the mill interview. Just tragic to see how far the cancer has progressed and that ANYONE would find this amazing.
@Brad Smith You may be right but I can't tell from the comments whether QT thinks its the Guardian reporting or Neil's story that he finds pedestrian. I hope it's the former.
I don't know if this is purely strategic or not, but I did not see this coming from The Guardian! It's a breath of fresh air. Keep on going!
I want to say a massive thank you to this interviewer and to Neil for this very much needed conversation. Me being a young troubled man ,trying to get through life, i found the ideas presented here not only very relatable and useful,but also very inspiring. I realised that i have wanted to have a discussion like this happen for a very long time. Great journalism ,a great man, and a great 42 minute video. I hope the Guardian keeps delivering great content like this. Kudos to everyone involved!!
Do an episode where you interview regular factory workers and blue collar workers to see how much we have in common in spite of our occupation.
Do you not mean factory workers (blue collar), and white collar workers and see how much we have in common? Or have I misunderstood your comment
seriously......one of the best videos i have watched this year. Very refreshing to hear people talking about genuinely important topics
One of the Guardian’s top journalists at the moment. Just pure journalism without the intent to push an agenda or catch people out.
she is a top journalist because she interviewed a jordan peterson fan boy? you people are delusional.
quewn tenerif that’s what you got out of their entire conversation? I pity you.
Thank you for uploading the full interview and thanks Neil for sharing your ideas! There were lots of interesting ideas in this interview that I found really insightful but also really confrontational in a good way, things that made me really look at myself and at what I'm doing.
This is a guy who's integrated his shadow...
He integrated it all over his face.
It doesn't seem to me that this is the case. He doesn't seem generous at all with who he was when he was younger. He understand what has happened to him, but sees the reality from a perspective of someone who doesn't forgive his own mistakes. Specially when he says that his suicide attempt was cowardice, so all suicides come from a place of cowardice.
But yet this is an awesome interview.
@@lucaspiccoli are you saying that all suicides are cowardice, or are you saying that he thinks all suicides are cowardice?
@@Toolmybass He does say at the beginning that suicide is a selfish (and cowardly?) act.
Dumfries Spearhead he stated so because of his own experience, he even said so when talking about his attempt. I can relate as well to be honest. Examining my own attempt a few years back it also came from a position of not wanting to face the difficulties of life. In an objective view, most suicides could in fact be viewed as selfish, as he stated. In fact that’s what one person told me after my attempt. I denied it, yet that is exactly what it was.
As a 17 year old who has been nihilistic, I am grateful to have the ability to hear the words of masculine men.
We live in an age where we can eavesdrop on the most fantastic conversation anyone can have. Thank you Guardian for providing us with this interview.
Thank you for this. I can't even express how reassuring it is to hear the opinions & experience of someone I can relate to and learn from.
I grew up without my dad, he left when I was 3 and I've probably seen him less than 20 times in my life. And I guess because of that, I've always felt like I had to fill his role. I had no idea what I was doing or really how to do it. My mum was and is amazing, but I'm lost and finding direction is very, very hard. Hearing thoughts and opinions like this seriously help and until now, and until I started watching some videos from Jordan Peterson, I've felt like there was nowhere that I could go for any advice - at all.
Having a real news source in the UK explore and be genuinely interested in topics which directly relate to my life is eye-opening and the first time that I've felt included. So thank you again, great journalism & a great approach. I've turned on notifications for the series so I keep up with it.
Great story, thank you for sharing 🕊
This is a fantastic interview. It really resonated with me. Thank you Neil for sharing as you did here, speaking the truth.
Why is the video unlisted?
We'll probably make it public eventually. We wanted people to watch the second episode in the series first but if enough people want it we can make this one public too.
@@theGuardian I think I understand, but disagree: the longer form conversations we are seeing sprout up on RUclips and other places are the future for "debates" such as these. The public is hungry for it. If you give people honest, deep and interesting content (such as this) they will keep coming back. As such I think all the videos related to series should be front and centre.
I'm looking forward to the rest! Thanks Guardian!
@@theGuardian please make it public its too good to be left unlisted
@The Guardian The second episode is great, but this is the type of content that is really needed. What Josh says about it is so true.
@Everyone here. It's public now. Have a great weekend.
i love this interview, this seems like such a scary dude, but to hear mans honesty and not being afraid of positioning himself into a vulnerable position makes him even a bigger person.
massive respect to these two people, even the journalist not having prejudice towards big man !
Exactly why society needs to learn to stop judging people on their appearances.
@@mad555max ❤❤❤❤
Nice to see Guardian you are taking notice of the tide that is approaching. I stopped buying your paper about 7 years ago after being an avid reader for 10 years prior. Keep doing stuff like this and I will pick one up and have a read to see if anything has changed.
Watch John Harris's series Anywhere But Westminster, it's awesome
Don't think the paper is going to be around for much longer; it's really only there for those who grew up reading the paper and already have the habit ingrained, and they're not going to be a significant portion of the population for much longer
I love this guy. Not just men but we women must do the same thing. Are we conforming to the indoctrination of parents and all societal narcissism which is rampant or are we going to be critical thinkers and be who we really are meant to be. This man is beautiful bc he is obviously being authentic and has transferred his knowledge into wisdom.
You see what happens when you present balanced information, without an ideological agenda, Guardian? People love it! More please.
And kudos to this excellent interviewer.
so jordan peterson fan boys don't have an ideology?
@@quewntenerif616 on the very definition of what Jordan Peterson teaches young people, no, ideology is not realistic or sustainable for anything, people who’ve watched his lectures understand that. Have you ever listened to what he teaches?
Women go on and on AND ON about the NEED for little girls to have female role models, and then turn right around and openly ask boys "why do you need a man to teach you that?"
The lack of awareness, which gives the appearance of outright arrogance...it is actually a bit infuriating.
I agree, but at the same time we're talking about women as if they're 1 entity. She might not have ever even thought of female role models, and she's doing an interview where she wants him to explain it.
You really owned that straw-woman 👏👏
@@maggiescarlet whatever.
Thank you for doing this. I'm only halfway through it and I'm glued in. There is a lot of resonation in his story.
I dont comment much on videos, but the thing that really stuck out immediately is preparing young men on the hard times. He nailed it 100percent. Thank you for sharing and putting words to it, that's often the hardest thing for everyone.
Thank you Ms. Amrani! I am engaged to keep following your work; this series and beyond.
These series are indeed what we need to bridge the ever growing gap between right and left. Problems are only being solved when we tackle them outside of the two party politics system. Bravo Guardian, You just won a conservative/libertarian over :)
when jordan peterson talks about masculinity, the guardian shouts: neonazi! dangerous!
when some face tattoo'd dude reiterates what JBP has said, the guardian posts a 42 minute interview about it putting essential in the title.
whats up with that?
I think they're trying to change.
Maybe they finally realized they were apart of the problem? Who am I kidding, their ratings were probably down and they needed to switch it up.
Most of those articles are opinion pieces, written by people playing the status game where you have to drag someone else down to lift yourself up. This video, however, showcases a more honest and open form of journalism, where you let the subject do the talking, ask questions about their perspective, and make the watcher form their own conclusions. As a result of that you gain more insight and understanding of the issue at hand coming from a firsthand account. Kudos to Iman Amrani and The Guardian for this series.
It's sad and unfair when your opponents mischaracterize your arguments (often because they could not deal with your argument truthfully) but in a real debate the side that is most open to change is usually the right one, because they want truth, not just to score points.
We need more of that, and less name calling, or our society will destroy the very freedom that makes it great in the first place.
Probably because Jordan B. Peterson denounces identity politics but this guy has probably not done it officially (my guess).
I realised something! When I used to try to escape or practice escapism I was not the one in controll! Now, I am in controll of my own experience in my work, learning and living... and gradually taking controll of my life and how I view it will give me hapiness!
Neil is the man, hands-down. He has transformed his difficult and traumatic life experiences into wisdom and truth, and, thankfully, is unafraid to speak it with anyone and everyone. He is 100% correct when he says that we need more men, like him, to share this with young men. Equally important is to build young men who desire to hear his message and others like it. If this were to happen the women of this world who regularly say they want "good, strong, sensitive men" will receive what they're asking for.
This man is on the Quest to identify and express his true self. This is the Holy Grail and even the commitment to find it , once experienced, blows all other motivations out of the water. Now he is "lit from within" and outer conditions and circumstances don't really matter.
This guy has some very serious stuff to say. Very nice conversation, Iman kept the flow go naturally asking the right questions without trying to trap the guy.
@Kyle Mylo I agree to a point. When I was suicidal though, what kept me going is knowing the pain it would inflict on my parents. I used to think that I didn't care what happened to me, but I could never put anyone in a position of losing their child. And me taking myself out would in effect cause a woman to lose her child. I thought of it in that detached way.
So it didn't hurt me to believe that suicide was selfish. In my particular case it kept me alive. But I imagine every person's case is different so I'm not making any sweeping generalizations here.
Kyle Mylo I think he qualified his point well enough to not be "dumb" in that regard
This is what the guardian would look like without the opinion section. Great, totally transparent work.
Thank you for the great work you are doing here, Iman. Journalism is crying out for raw, honest, open-minded, long form discussion. You are doing an exceptional job at capturing this issue with integrity and balance. It's refreshing to see.
29, former mormon. I really feel for this man.
JBP has really helped me through some difficult times.
"without a male in the home...without TWO PARENTS...the children fall behind in school"
i think the takeaway is not a male absence but more that TWO parents provide more support for a child- both emotional and FINANCIAL - than one parent.
Love the fact that you uploaded the full-length interview, this long-form content really allows you to take away something from the journalism that you wouldn't without the full story.
Beautiful! The truth that this man has found for himself.
Its not about what decision you make differently, but about actually making a decision, maybe for the first time in his life. Most people stumble from situation to situation...never knowing why they are and do.
Man... This Brother is real. I appreciate this. This is profound.
Amazing. His story is much like my own. I wish I had a male role model in real life. He’s mine until then. I look up to this man immensely
He’s talking about empathy and our society is rampant with societal narcissism today. Not only does society and its leaders not have empathy they perpetrate more pain on all of us.
The cirisis in Masculinity will and is being resolved by Men who have decided to go their own way by stepping outside the societal narratives and defining their lives on their own terms.
They are useful for themselves first.
Great comment. 'Stepping outside the societal narratives' should be the first advice for people struggling with depression and such.
Kind of, but responsibility kind of entails being useful for/to others, defining part of your life on the terms of others as well as yourself, and stepping inside the societal narrative, no?
@@monroecorp9680 Not if "others" are driven by a poisonous ideology
@@joegrumpy1268 Fair enough, we are tribal like that.
@@monroecorp9680 That only works if you choose who you wish to be useful to, for your own reasons. Bearing a burden just because others expect it of you means you're reliant on their regard for your own self-worth. When they're inevitably ungrateful and entitled about your service, your ego (and the willpower it fuels) goes hungry. Only when you are your own mental point of origin can you ascend past that mental slavery.
Totally agree about depression from having lived through the same. Honesty and responsibility is the key.
This series is excellent work, Iman!
This is seriously underrated. I am at a loss as to what is the reason for the lack of attention to this, not to common but important topic with excellent journalism.
i really like this guy. honesty is such a noble quality. any one willing to be this transparent is worthy of my time, and anyones, truth deserves to be heard. great interview. "as long as you're lying and manipulating situations you'll never become the person you want to be." true daaat
Excellent interview, thanks for posting the full unedited version. Great work, can't wait to see the next episode of this series.
"It takes a man to teach a boy to be a man" love it. - As you cant use a bike to fix a car or a scooter to fix a motorcycle, relevance and identity is key.
Thank you, Neil, what an intelligent, thoughtful and respectful conversation. Great points and keep expanding our minds.
Thank you, Iman Amrani very good content and wonderful interview.
who is this frikking wizard, how he answered the question about making your bed is just phenomenal
Not sure about the ending... Sure, men who grow up in father-less homes do worse on average, but we can’t just assume it’s because of the lack of a male presence. What about mother-less homes? The abandonment issues that come with it?
Children from lesbian parents don’t do worse off, neither do gay male parents’ so already gender doesn’t seem to be the issue.
The footballer role model analogy also doesn’t really make sense to me? There’s nothing stopping a female footballer being his son’s role model, the only important factor should be that they can play football well. I guess it’s more down to the fact that footballers are already separated into genders (with one regarded much higher than the other). But the analogy wouldn’t really work if his son wanted to be a painter for instance, despite the fact that again there are a lot more famous male painters out there.
There’s a lot of ill-informed comments about toxic masculinity down here. Toxic masculinity is not an inherent hated of all ‘masculine behaviour’ it’s the idea that a man can not be anything else other than society’s expectations of a masculine person - He should not show emotion, be feminine in anyway, he can’t back down, should be big and muscled, etc...
It’s a lot to be burdened with and is what (mostly likely) causes the higher suicide rates amongst men.
Sure maybe society does need masculinity, but masculinity’s definition needs to become a lot looser and femininity is just as important.
Men, especially young men, will not model themselves on women. They just wont. The answer to "why do men need fathers?" Is not "but what about moms?"
Men need fathers, not obfuscation from feminists.
The only people who think suicide is selfish are people who have not seen despair.
The greatest flaw in focus on "success" is that it distracts us from a proper focus on character. A person of great character who lives through tragedy and failure, especially outside of his own control, is an important story. Too many people get attached to the success story and don't bother to consider the character of the person they follow. And if some of those people get far enough down that path to discover it has no rooted meaning, that can be a real existential crisis. One of the best people I met aimed to get as much of his resources as possible from within his own being. And after all the ways my life has been dragged through the mud due to others being unstable and unreliable, I really have no interest in the success story, especially from people who don't understand sorrow, anger, grief- the reactions to tragedy and evil. With yin and yang, if you blind yourself to the dark parts of the world and life, you're missing an integral half of the recipe for meaning and purpose. After losing everything, all I have left is the proof of my character, the fact that I survived, and the chance to start over again.
Nemo Sundry wow, thanks for the insight
Am I really on The Guardian channel or is this some kind of a RUclips bug? :-O
Yeah what is going on haha, thought the same thing. Excellent interview.
Maybe ya slipped into an alternate dimension?
Maybe the Guardian is more open to debate than we thought.
@@andreaslind6338 They're being forced to be more open, or go broke.
When it comes to suicidal tendencies, I believe the need to provide value is primal, especially in men, and so we allow financial situations to overwhelm us. Not to mention the societal pressures inflicted through a variety of mediums that portray poverty as a lack of character, or manhood if you will. However, I'm not a psychiatrist, so please forgive me if I'm off the mark. I'm simply sharing thoughts derived from the darkest moments of my life, as well as how I view it in retrospect. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, take care.
This man is very inspiring! Thank you for interviewing him!
great interview, i wish journalism was more in this format. Keep up the same type of work and you will get me and a tons of new subscriber.
I could listen Neil talk for hour. what an inspirational lad.
"There's some confort in having an identity of sadness" ouch that hits right home
Thank you so much for posting this! Such important conversations more of us need to be having. We also need more men like Neal, he's amazing...should start his own RUclips channel ;)
Maybe you should stop calling anyting you don't understand or don't like toxic masculinity then ...
I think there’s a thin line between a man sinks into his feelings & doesn’t get help to move forward.
And a man who acknowledges his feelings not afraid to take a moment & then move forward.
We’ll living in time where as men we are allowed to acknowledge our emotions.
This series and John Harris Anywhere but Westminster stand out as the best videos this channel puts out. Why? Simple.
You get out there, talk to people, ask question, listen and show us the unedited conversations. You afford us the ability to listen along with you and make informed opinions, but also learn anew about our own country from the ground up.
Thank you.
No bullshit inquisitive journalism. One of the few channels you can find this done this well.. maintain that integrity!
Phenomenal journalist. Finally some actual professional unbiased journalism. Thank you The Guardian and Iman
Mohamed Hindawy BS.
The fact that The Guardian is willing to entertain this conversation is a reason for hope for our culture.
100% RIGHT. CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK. I SUFFERED WITH DEPRESSION FOR 30 YEARS. ALL I DID WAS CHANGED THE WAY I THINK. HAVNT LOOKED BACK IN THE LAST TEN YEARS. LOVING LIFE. AND FREE.
Love it. Massive props to the Guardian for putting the whole interview out there and for doing this series. This is why I gave you guys $2!
The two most valuable things a person can know, are that they're living in the experience of the principle of thought taking form in the moment and who they really are. Well-being is innate, if you allow it to, without interference, the mind will correct itself. There's a built in psychological immune system.
Wow! I just suscribed to the guardian because of this series. You dont get real talks like this in the media anymore.
Kudos guys
Thank you. As a man-loving woman and a sex and transformation coach for both women and men, it's very hard to say this without gushing :-D. It's brilliantly and respectfully done and both parties really showed up in their authenticity. It's quite stunning. Gonna have to watch this over and over again. Thank you so much Neil for sharing and being your truth. Thank you Iman for being so brilliant, respectful and listening so deeply (it is rare to find). This is packed with truth, heart, and useful wisdom. I'm SO looking forward to more episodes in this series. Thank you.
I know this is unlisted, but I'd really hope that in the future you put more long form content like this on the main channel. This is what I come to RUclips for
It was just unlisted for a week to give people a chance to watch the edited video.
Does Neil have a channel if not he should. I would love to see content on his growth consistently. Please follow up with him.
"De ce îi este omului de astăzi foame? De iubire și de sens." Thanks for the wonderful interview!
Bravo Iman Amrani!!!
More of this kind of honest probing and less closed-minded ideological preaching and I might actually regain some respect for the Guardian... that used to be my favorite newspaper back in the day!
so refreshing hearing people talk calm and rational
The Guardian needs more journalists like her and less like Owen Jones
You class Owen Jones as a journalist? That's generous.
I've never had a 42 minute video capture my attention like this. Wow. I'd like to shake this man's hand and say thank you.
I love this the line:
"I question my own beliefs system constantly"
I like this guy *ANOTHER*
*Smashes table*
This is wonderful, the best part of it being the honesty. In so much of what he says, there is a Jordan Peterson shadow lurking. Loved the interview.
This interview and what these men are saying reminds me a lot of dR. Myles Munroe on 'Why men need visions and dreams''. Worth the watch guys
Hardest pill to swallow. But there’s so much truth in what he said.
I'm a father who had an opinion on how to raise his children. My wife degraded me in front of our children to many times. She forced me out. We are going through a divorce. We have been separate for 3 years and my children have stayed with me only one night. Been by myself for three Christmas. I'm beyond and just want this over so I can start my life over. My children have been poisoned about me. I pray someday they understand.... I'm now am part of the MGTOW movement... I will NOT commit ever again....
Such an awesome interview and I respect Neil so much for what he's gone through and what he talks about in this video.
One thing I do think is true is that boys need fathers but girls need fathers as well. I'm a 19-year-old girl that was raised by a single mother. My relationship with my dad isn't bad, I've seen him and been in contact with him all throughout my life and I love him dearly, but it's not as close as I think it should be and I too feel like listening to Jordan Peterson has been an immense help to me.
And that's why I don't think that it's just boys that suffer from a loss of meaning without their fathers, but daughters as well. Because we live in a society with both sexes a man cannot be purely raised by a man nor can a female be raised only by another female. Children need both a mother and a father to raise them and to teach them about their responsibilities and life.
Now, I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I just want to say that even though what Neil is saying applies to men, I think that those same problems of loss of meaning can also apply to women. And that Jordan Peterson's message doesn't just apply to men but also to women.
31:04
1. Help others, help alleviate the pain
2. Be useful, don't cause unnecessary trouble, don't cause any harm
3. Actively seek out truth
Make life worth living. Act as an anchor to the suffering and malevolence which will come your way
Really appreciate the full interview.
This is the man who should be filling arenas etc.!
Neil speaks basically the same truth straight forward without all the confusing language games and woo-woo!
Massive respect for his honesty and actual changes he made. I think he is what every lost young man in JP's audience is longing to be (-come)!
I’m so glad, I think people are starting to wake up from this Polarizing ideologies and trying to perceive other points of view finally.
people allways have, jusy depends on who you talk to.. and people never will
cool. I'll be here waiting men starting to perceiving feminists points of view, sweetheart
quewn tenerif I wish you the best of luck in doing that
I remember always being treated like I was a problem waiting to happen to society... pretty much all through school, starting in the first grade. If a boy did something, all the boys sat out during recess. If the class was talking, "Boys be quiet". If I had a problem, and I asked the teacher, "Oh well." I literally stopped caring when I was 9 years old.
I had 0 encouragement, and was completely ignored even up through high school.
I was passed over when my teacher handed out Art AP sign up forms. I got up and took a sheet off my teachers desk and looked her straight in the eye and didn't say a word. I got the highest AP score the next year out of the entire class.
I really enjoyed this interview. Lots of interesting points made here, thank you both :)
This was so much better than the cut down version. Please don't feel like you have to try to fit these discussions into a 10 minute video.