The Silent Treatment is Punishment!
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- Опубликовано: 4 фев 2023
- #shorts #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Just leave them alone and go on with your life- you do not need them.
Right on ..keep moving forward..and stay silent forever
Unless you made the mistake then you deserve it.
I completely agree
@@MJ98.thats still not good. No one deserve emotional abuse in early childhood
Standard 💯 👏🏻
I no longer fool with people who give me the silent treatment. It is provocative. I'm not doing it. I'm not participating.
Lucky you that you have the experience to deal with it. The crazy making at the receiving end of this can make you feel like you are crazy which further exacerbates this. I would definitely prefer confrontation with soneone who you can reason with over silence that is dead set in hurting someone else. The pain of realising that someone you love prefers to hurt you and tells you often that they dismiss everything that you have been through together is soul destroying. It changes you as a person. Dead set in stone thoughts and feelings that nothing even death can help them see the truth. I say its guilt something that I know that is untrue as they cannot see or feel anything only what they want. It's disturbing after years of putting up with the trauma.
i talk to them and they said its not about me ( they still dont talk about their feelings though) it is because that was how they deal with things:) its that count as silent treatment ? im confuse
The best way to deal with someone giving you a silent treatment is to forget about their existence. Do your job. Live your life. Let them be mad.
If they stay silent too long they shouldn’t be surprised to find that when they come back to you your not in the same place they left you in. You’ve moved on without them and don’t need them anymore.
Exactly! He's my abusive husband and I am sick of him and him getting ppl after me! Go away you huckster ( him not you)
It’s easier for them to feel anger vs. shame. Hence the passive aggressive silent treatment
The best way to deal with that kind of person is leave!! They are taught to react this way and things like that don't change over a conversation. It takes time and effort and therapy rhey should have.
So leave and find a healthier person
Yes they are selfish and don't consider other's feelings in crucial moments.
The moment you tell them your concern you will see their true face and leave or they make it more complicated rhan it is and then make it seem like you caused issues.
Narcissists are never aiming for a solution.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 totally agree. They are living in a seperate reality from the rest.
@@navarrenavarre how about not wasting your life and energy?
Sometimes, the silent treatment is the result of giving everything to someone who doesn't value you. There's nothing left to be said.
Exactly. I'm always the one initiating. Now I gave them silent treatment
@@taghazoutmoon5031actually this is an excuse. I get you but we all need to see ourselves and the impact we have on each other. People need truth. Silence just breeds contempt. It's evil xx
@@michaeljackson8857 he never talks to me. Trying to have a conversation with him is like talking to a rock. He fucking hurts me so much. Silent treatment kills me but it's all that's left
The silent treatment can be a way of letting the person who doesn't value you and they are ungrateful I would give the silent treatment to let them realize how good they had it when my attention was around and it also protects you frm continously being hurt if you initiate the no communication then its really pointless what they say next cuz you're not going to respond anyways unless it's a sincere apology
@@prencerichmand8494Bingo
Silent treatment used to really wind me up as I don't like to finish the day on a negative note.
However, one time I just brushed it off, and went around the house whistling cheerfully. That seemed to wind them up!
My husband does that every time I hold him accountable.
Same here, mine too. Another bout of it for me...
It's been 6 weeks of silence from him.
So sorry, I hope that you get to a place of comfort and peace without the pain, eventually. Focus on yourself and everything else that surrounds you.
Same Same
Well, my wife tried doing it to me over the years, that is, until she realized I really enjoyed it! I no longer have that small pleasure in my life!
Same here. He thought he's punishing me. Now he's sending ppl to my apartment to insult me but can't face me himself!!!!!!
I now see that it completely was a control tactic. This is very freeing to know.
And they also do it without any reason.
Even when we didn't disagree but we were kind or expressing sweet words for example,
they will ignore to make us feel unappreciated humiliated and rejected 💔
It's not worthy to wait for when the narcissist wants to talk.. that's too much control given to them. They give you the silence treatment, let them know you don't accept that. And if they continue, you take a decision and break up. People in their path must show them that silence treatment doesn't work.
Usually Immature & Prideful. Understanding the behaviour makes it easiest to just move on. The ignorance is not work it
It’s very immature for an adult man to not learn and find healthy ways to man up. It’s sad.
I did not hear her say anything about men or women, but you are right, sad that men do that as well as women.
It goes both ways. Don't just put this all on men.
So she is obviously referring to someone like you.
Oh shut up 😂 don’t make this just a man thing
Look both do it. It's crap either way
Silent is golden. Would you rather have confrontation and anger? This isn't a power move. It's avoiding unwanted conflict.
@@khanhngoc7030 Your response is confusing. Another reason to be silent.
It can be but I wonder if there's a difference between silence and the silent treatment? I told a guy for example that I needed space, it was silent between us and I came back to explain why and then assert a boundary. He is now silent so it feels like he is giving me the silent treatment. there's a difference between using it as a control tactic to make someone anxious or doing it genuinely for your peace .
This is the dumbest thing I’ve read
When they give me the silent treatment, I remove them from social media and from my life. Don't beg. It's disgusting.
Silent treatment is a immature way of dealing with things. Takes time for most people to understand it's a very ineffective way to communicate and solve problems. I know this because I've done like most people 😅 talking through things is the real challenge but the best option everytime.
Spot on correct ✅
This is true if they are the abuser. Sometimes if you are the victim of gaslighting when you try to communicate with abusers, the healthiest thing for yourself is to stop talking. The abuser will then twist it around and then call you the abuser for cutting them off.
By the time they started that I no longer wanted to talk to them😂 game over!
its a gift when the trash takes itself out..
Recently had an experience with someone I was dating who was taking things too fast. I’ve told him I admire the amount of effort and time he is putting into our connection but I need things to be a little slower in order for me to build trust and an understanding of who they are. I was scared to say it because I did see long term with him, I just needed things to be slower. It took less than a day for him to respond coldly and give me the silent treatment. Asked him twice was he upset, denied it, and then continued his behaviour. It’s been 3 days now without contact. I feel hurt and rather unsafe expressing my needs. Sadly this happened at least 3 times with me
It's hard to hear but i don't think this person is mature enough yet. Or may never be. Initially yes people react like that sometimes but if he can't be understanding to what you need as well as what he wants then that's not going to be a healthy relationship in my opinion. That's just my opinion though. Find someone who will let you feel safe to tell them any worries or anything in life and whos reaction is supportive. Good luck to you 🙌
Be glad - you dodged a bullet. The right person would never respond like that - they would understand and be AOK about it ❤️
Keep dealing with him if you want to. He’s immature and not the male for you.
that person has been instilled to Survive with that greedy selfish silent// Sonewalling Behavior// See it// REPEATEDLY...get out Quick// ASAP.....its Over// DONT LOOK BACK
That will likely continue, for him anyway . Do you want to deal with that day after day. ????
I stepped back from a guy because of his inconsistency and drama with his ex. I could tell he was hurt but he agreed with me and said I was right. He said he recognized that his words and actions didn't align.... Then next thing I know he's been mean to me and now has given me the silent treatment for a week.... I'm sure I'll never talk to him again.
He did you a favor girl be thankful.
I am facing this.. first silent treatment after our marriage ..its been a month..however, I decided to leave this toxic relationship.. He can keep that silent treatment in his pocket!
This strategy doesn't work with narcissists who weaponize the silent treatment.
It works for me because if they don’t want to talk that’s fine it’s better than screaming.
@Katydid Could you explain "weaponize" as it is supposedly a form of punishment anyway. It's there anything additional that they could do
To hell with them , and good riddance 👹👺👊🏿👎👎👎
@@drleo6409true man. My brother is a narc and I give him the silent treatment. No eye contact nothing.
A person like this, I'm cheering that they are leaving me alone. The real torture is when they are talking to me.
You just said it all, I totally agree!!!
Yea either that or I’m grey rocking because I’m tired of their chaos
This was my ex narcs favorite tactic
No to all of this advice. Do not beg or attempt to converse with a POS narc who’s sole purpose is to hurt you with the silent treatment 🤷🏾♀️. Narcissist are not normal people. Everything a narcissist does is strategic and calculating.
Mom's silence has blossomed into my silence towards her.
Same. Mine shut down over a year ago, idk why & I just refuse to take the bait (again). She’s 87. This is a dark time in my life bc I lost a child & that she would do this to me now is really unforgivable.
Mum, @ 85 has lived as healthy decades beyond her worth.
It's been 18 months since my obligation to being her supply has been Null. Her well BEING has suffered finally.
SUPER NOVA pending🙏😇🙏
Never bothered me. Silence is golden
I agree being silent is hurtful unless someone needs time before discussing which I would say is different than what your describing.
When you try to talk to them about the situation, and they throw lies in your face, saying that you're doing certain things that you're not doing is a problem. That's grounds for shutting down and completely giving them a silent treatment and ignoring them for the damage that they're trying to Cause you
I remember the first silent treatment I received like it was yesterday from a narcissist I dated. I had no clue what I was dealing with that night, but I've definitely learned a lot over the past 5 1/2 years.
Hey. Sorry you had to go through that. Can you please share your experience? What happened that night?
Same. Like a learning school. Unfortunately.
I’m guilty of this, as a result of shutting down due to my stress response. That being said, I do try to make it a point to return to the discussion or topic at a point when I’m no longer activated. Usually it takes space in order for me to collect my thoughts, and I’m sure the same is true for a lot of other people as well!
I think that's different to the silent treatment, you're not using it as a form of punishment to hurt someone you just need some space to calm down and hopefully people close to you will understand that.
@@adamsmith868 agree with this 👍
I think some people are silent as an abusive tactic, and other are silent because they need time to process and cope OR they are hurt and have not come to any sort of resolution with the other party. Sometimes the other party is toxic.
I’m the same. I need a small amount of time to think and calm down when I feel something is overwhelming to handle at that moment and because I tend to shut down and feel overwhelmed with hurt, I need to step back and soothe myself before I’m ready to talk.
It’s kinda like when Amber heard would follow Johnny depp in their recording of them arguing and he would run and hide. I tend to run and hide if I feel threatened which maybe my flight response. Idk 🤷🏻♀️
The silent treatment is what I use when they refuse to have a serious discussion like adults. If they dont want to talk about why our relationship is rocky then there is no discussion, as much as I tried.
Great Advice// Confrontationally INSIST On Better Communication// WHEN...READDDY... & Just end everything Instantly on the spot !!
Greaaaaat job putting this out there, in all this toxic medias, love it! 💪🏼😁
1. If u kove someone u dont give thrm silent treatment
2. If you love someone you dont have to get offended or upset with your partner for anything but forgive.
3. If u 💕 ur partner tell them how u feel when you feel they been rude to you communicate.tell them how you feel.
4. Getting angry w ur partner 😤 or silent treatment is not ❤
Ugh dealing with it now 😢 it’s so much more than that though it’s an inability to deal with adult issues like core personal responsibilities and just purely avoiding it until it’s an argument. It’s emotional freezing out it’s generally only giving affection when the conditions are warm. It’s a freaking roller coaster.
My husband did this to avoid answering questions or having a discussion where the out come would be wanting to leave
what if the only way that you have of setting boundaries with someone narcissistic is not talking to them (never) because you live in the same house (can't leave yet)? Trying to talk with these kind of people is much more hurtful than going no talking
Thank you I needed to hear this. I'm dealing with an ex girlfriend who is giving me the silent treatment but putting it over social media rather then talking to me directly to resolve the situation between my ex & me. We were very compatible in my relationship with my ex. This gives me reassure of having the conversation with my ex at some point.
Yes, this is great
My ex-husband was famous for this…. He would put his hand up and say he didn’t want to discuss it… this happened from the beginning of our marriage which led to nothing ever being talked about or settled.
I submerged myself in our children and their activities, he submerged himself in beer.
After 29 years of marriage, and his refusal to attend counseling, the marriage ended.
I am happier than I have ever been but my children suffered as a result of the breakdown of the marriage. they are all very well rounded and successful and happy, but not without many stressful days and nights. 😩
Good grief this sounds like my shitty marriage. Always about him but it took me 23 years to realise that it was him. I now feel so sorry for him. He gets his rocks off of a fantasy of submissive oriental women. Good luck to him I say.
Congratulations on loving your children the way they deserve to be,you did good 👍
This is perfect advice. Thank you Stephanie. You are so awesome, so smart, beautiful person and psychologist. Appreciate your wisdom. I am on this situation so excellent timing for me to hear this. 😅😮❤
I hate the silent treatment. I never use it because my friend used to give me the dilent treatment when we fought. It was unbearably annoying. Thankfully, i explained to her that its better to talk out our issues and she stopped doing that
Bringing it up, but they always deny and come up with excuses as to why they haven't responded to my text (for upto 5 days). This is even more insidious because there is no way for me to prove they were lying....
So Steph, as much as I love your advise, this one is not working and I have seen this in multiple situations.
This might be because you're around the wrong kind of person. If these people have excuses like you've mentioned it's probably time for you to move away from them and find people who respond in a mature way.
@@MroZzzzz I get that, but her videos are about such people and advises us to confront them. I am here to say that this will not work. Emotionally mature people do not play silent treatments amyway.
@@zion367 i dont think she's saying we have to confront people like, she's explaining how to approach the situation in the best way if you want that. Some people react using the silent treatment but they could benefit immensely from a partner helping them to understand this behaviour is not ok. We all have to teach each other things in life unfortunately but theres a line of course with some personalities of people.
@@zion367 also i agree, emotionally mature people don't. Se lets not waste our time with those who aren't that!
@@MroZzzzz I dont agree with cutting people off just like that. I believe in expressing my needs and see if they align with that or wamt to change. If not, cool, then we seperate ways, but some people need to be made aware of stuff. Boundaries are key before cutting them off.
Thanks Stephanie for sharing your posts! Listen to you speak about NACISSIISST, has been so HELPFUL. There no where to go get Help. GOD BLESS YOU ✌💞
Dealing with this right now!
3 days! It was 17 months for me! Cruel, evil, demonic Narc mother.
Almost 8 months no contact and struggling to heal
So many health problems from her stress!!!
@SweepDailyWin....my mother does the same thing even for no good reason!!! It's just plain ridiculous. And if you call out her bad behavior it becomes a fight.
@@lindzyluu they're just so miserable inside that the only way they feel better is to destroy us!
In my case, silent treatment made the situation worse than it would’ve been if we had talked it out, now we have a court case
100% my exwife. 100% covert narcissist.
She's so awesome when there is an audience. A nightmare in private. Passive aggressive in the extreme!!
I'd rather just leave someone alone when they are doing this but saying that when you have a Father who's actively telling you to apologize to your Mother growing up whilst she is doing that is a degrading experience that takes away a lot of your pride and self respect. Plus, I'd find my trigger point easily and quickly end up doing something I regretted so it's not a good idea for me to do that. As awful as that is to admit you have to see that you are in effect begging for scraps of their time and attention because my initial response was to walk away and leave her to it. If someone can verbally communicate they're too angry to talk right now but will chat later with me that's fine otherwise it is used as a form of punishment and when they come to talk to you later it can't be a one way street about their grievances. It needs to be a conversation because for all they know they've made up their own reasoning and have been stewing about it for ages when it's all been a misunderstanding how silly must they feel over something that could have been cleared up in like two seconds, had they had the time of day to turn around and hear the actual problem but people don't like feeling guilty it's easier for them to place blame than admitting okay so maybe I overreacted it's easier to say oh, so it's your fault you didn't set things straight but you probably would have if they gave you the time of day!
To me, im not punishing anyone. Im not wasting my breath on their toxic manipulation, or giving anymore opportunity to have any.
He gave me the silent treatment for 18 months. I got a lawyer, then covid-19 appeared.
I moved out a year later.
Divorced him 15 months later.
Never happier! Being alone is a gift.
🌈🌈🌈🌸🌸🌸✨✨✨
Ohh i had a friend who calls me like once a month asking to go here and there. I am having health issues at the moment and explained several times that i am unable to meet. Never asked me how am doing, no calls or texts, never offers to come visit me. except for those once a month call can we meet up? Are you not better already messages. Finally fed up and left her a brief explanation of what she was doing wrong and how disappointed i am of her attitude. She apologies but back to doing the same thing. .. i realised i had to prioritize my health because her excuse and argument was draining me, and it just never ends. So i ignored all her calls and kept my distance. I would hate to give someone a silent punishment, but unfortunately, sometimes its the only way
Let me just say that some feelings and thoughts do not need to be shared. If someone isn't everything in the world to you it is still possible to be polite.
It seems that everyone should be polite. But some people don’t feel the need to be polite .
They can go to the left to the left.
I never saw it as punishment, even though they might think so. It was a gift. I preferred that my mother ignore me, because when she wasn't ignoring me, she was either screaming like a lunatic or saying the meanest things she could think of. And an ex bf gave me the silent treatment for a week after I confronted him about lying to me. On the second day of it, I realized that I felt happier and more relaxed without him around and decided to end that relationship.
Thanks !!! For your information
I'd disagree. I had a narcissist accuse me of everything she was doing. No matter what my answer the argument would continue. The accusations never stopped. There was no way to stop her other than not playing the game. No answer. I'd need hours or days to formulate an answer that would not set her on more accusations. In the end she craved immediate conflict and I craved peace. The "silent treatment" was for MY sanity. So why was she always stirring a fight? She was having an affair and needed validation that it was justified. I just didn't feed that justification well enough because I was boring and drama free
I wouldn't call that the silent treatment... you weren't trying to cause harm, you were removing yourself from it
That is the exact thing that I did, and also for my sanity. It was my only choice. Nice to read that I'm not alone. Eventhough it was the best decision, I still don't feel comfortable about it, I feel like I'm doing something bad, that I'm the bad one, when they hurted me so much over and over again through so many years
@@noramein If what you say is true, you did the right thing looking after yourself first
@@brettanderson4021 Thank you, I wish it wasn't true, but unfortunately it is
What you did was “grey rocking”.
It’s to protect you peace.
While - Silent treatment is to torture others and make them feel guilty.
♥️👉 Stephanie Lyn Is The Best 👈♥️
Im just discovering her
Shes pretty darn amazing...
So true. Thanks. I now know what I didn’t know.
I just caught a woman cheating. We’ve only been dating a few weeks. I am normally an over communicator. Now, giving her the silent treatment. Possibly indefinitely. I am so disgusted by her behavior I have nothing to say. Thoughts?
😢
Steph is so pretty.
Definitely Punishment.
I just keep doing me, eventually they will see it aint working and the moment they try to talk to me again my scorpion stinger will strike 😂 keep that energy all the way to your grave. You started this i will have the last laugh, trust me
I love your spunk!!!
Thank you! 💜
Can you do a video on the difference between the “silent treatment” vs I’m not talking to you because you continue to cross my boundaries?
I had a boundary with my ex-gf which was that I was not ok with her being friends with guys that she had sex with in the past. That was my boundary. My thinking is that if they had sex, they aren’t “just friends”.
She would then lie to me about different guys as a means to keep them “as friends” and I would eventually find out. I would ultimately stop answering her calls and would stop talking to her. However, as soon as I would do that, she would claim that I am abusive because I’m giving her the silent treatment and would use videos like this to prove that I’m “abusive” because I’m refusing to talk to her.
I thought I would communicate multiple times what my boundaries and values were and I would never stop talking to her until it was clear that she was not going to respect my boundaries with other guys that she had sex with.
I eventually started to question the difference between using the “silent treatment” as a manipulative punishment vs “I refuse to talk to you because you keep disrespecting me”
I would love for someone to make a video and clarify the difference because there are girls out here calling us abusive and accuse us of using the “silent treatment” after they cheated.
I’m not talking to you because you cheated. But I’m abusive ?
I’m loosing faith in relationships unfortunately.
As a woman, I can confirm she is evil herself. Your boundaries are reasonable. There is no point in being friends with someone who had a physical relationship, meaning friends with benefits. She kept flings while in a relationship with you, which is not normal and utterly selfish. Keeping options open is not a trait of genuine love. My overt narcissist husband had similar behavior before marriage, and I'm unsure if he still maintains those flings. It's been a month of silent treatment, and he hasn't asked about my well-being. Abandoning in a distant city without concern is not acceptable. Standing up for your self-respect is essential when uncomfortable topics are avoided. If she truly loves you, her priority should be to make you feel comfortable. You did the right thing.
U explain it really the way it is
This happened me 4 days of silent treatment and I let it play out. Now this was a friend of a friend we were stuck with on vacation. Def uncomfortable but I don’t have to deal with that person on a regular basis. I’m still feeling crummy but I know it’s not me and so happy to be away from the abuse. I feel awful for his gf.
Oh yes, they will not discuss. This is painful. I am listening Stephanie
The silent treatment is to get rid of toxic people some people go silent because the other person refuses to acknowledge their point of view or boundaries
I need this for real
The last two years of our relationship
I asked for space and didn't talk for two days. Came forward and asserted my boundaries. Now he is giving me the silent treatment. :(
My mom uses this as a punishment even if i bend and apologize. She will ignore me until she needs me again. She is well aware I have bad anxiety and it makes me panic. So it’s horrible. I have to apologize for setting boundaries with her just to keep the peace. I never let my anger go that far. She claims she does it so she doesn’t want to say something that she can’t take back. Which I think is bs.
To ignore someone you need to remain in their space.
If someone all of a sudden starts ignoring me Im gonna probably have a clue as to why they're doing it. At that time im not the victim of abuse. In fact it could be the opposite.
However, if i ask them why or ask if we can have a talk and they act like they can't hear me, yeah that's abusive and immature. If i don't end that relationship, Im dealing with some serious self esteem issues and would be best served to leave
Please do more about this topic!
I didn’t know what narcissist meant and I saw a lot of videos about narcissist I use to skip because I didn’t know so it didn’t apply to me then one day I watched a video and I realized what narcissist meant and my mother was a narcissist I know that because my mother was very angry person and call me names all the time tell me how I could do anything right I was a baby sitter at age 3 and I was first daughter and child number out of 15 so I worked from in the morning to the night I started praying for freedom and God grants and free me
The awful silence he has given me he is now messaging me saying i have no moral compass. Doesn't matter that he has treated me for how his mum humiliated him years ago but after 3 years of silence and then manipulating me to not go out in three days with lovely friends who know shit. Hes a coward
He knows hes a coward and now after three years of isolation
. Im coming back. Ive realised the hurt and pain he has caused me that i could not ever do to him. Ever. What comes of my own freindships that i ignored to protect my marriage but it did not at all. He got worse. Stuff him. Enjoy your new relationship you awful person. What he doesnt realise is that i have not ever disrespected him. He knows full well that he has said lies about me. Good luck babe
Please thank you.. please they're doing that to me and it 3yrs now.😢. please thank you
The times when I've given ppl the silent treatment, ot wasn't out of a desire to punish. I just felt unable to talk to them anymore.
Hi Steph
Just broke up with gf i had for over 3 years. She started ignoring me more and more over the last 3 months. Not responding to texts, no good morning or good night and straight up refusing to take my calls. I have to mention, that she took a job in another City, which resulted on us only seeing us on the weekends. I started to discuss my issue with that ghosting multiple times. She didnt care and said she wont change anything. Broke up with her. I kinda regret it, because she got a lot of stress due to work. On the other hand i need to care for myself and i was sad and heart broken for too long.
I'm so sorry. For everything you've gone through with her. 😢😢
i've been good friends on a intimate level with a women for a year and a half, kind of a no strings attached deal.
So the story is: We both went to go out dance last week that we had talked about it in advance and i told her i would find her when i got there as she was going with her friends but she seemed exited about it. Well turns out her friends brought another guy shes been seeing that wasn't expected to be there. Although when i got there she pretty much just ignored me and said "im not feeling well". So I tried to approach her a little later on to ask her why she didn't come say hi. She then proceeded to yell at me and said " I told you I wasn't felling well!" yet she was all over this other guy. So i just let her leave without saying anything in return. All i wanted was a "sorry I was being cold and a hug" thats it! but she couldn't even do that or even explain the situation. It wasn't the fact some other dude was there it was more her absolute indifference towards me that really hurt me, when i've been nothing but kind to this women.
So i know where i stand with her now and i really don't see the point in reaching out to her her again unless shes reaches out willing to talk about it im not begging her to talk about it. she should knows what she did. So at this point Im ready to just walk away i don't need this toxic behavior in my life i have other options im not desperate for her attention i just genuinely liked her. thats why im going silent it to protect my integrity. i don't think im being toxic at all in this situation. if anyone has any impute tho i certainly would appreciate it.
After being a screamed at in your face causing serious ptsd the other problems I have> d.i.d >>the silent treatment is miraculously healing. That probably sounds weird but I like that part. It does not feel like punishment to me. Maybe I'm stupid or maybe d.i.d is not such great parts & that's why it feels better?
3 days was normal for me to go through, but then when it happened for 2 weeks or more something is wrong.
CPTSD person here. I do this, but for me, it’s a form of protection. Someone hurts me, and rather than show them I’m hurt, which shows them weakness, I give off “stay away from me, I will not let you hurt me” vibes. It’s a a terrible and immature way to handle being hurt, it ruins relationships, but I am working on it. Just thought I would give you a different perspective on why some of us react this way.
why do people assume that this is a trait by narcissists. Sometimes its just a way to avoid silly arguments and unnecessary fights. If you know you can't speak without using hurtful words, it's better to be silent
Going through this now. It's been his go to for a year. I've never went through this till now. I begged several times to speak to me and he'd ignore me for days. It's like a very toxic addiction. The victim has to decide no more! I have now gray rocked him and I already see signs he's uncomfortable. THATS NOT TO GIVE VICTIMS HOPE! It's to show karma shows up so you can see the emotional abuse and heal!
When my husband (ex) wouldn't talk to me during the day (for months and weeks), and then try to have sex with me at night, I would tell him "if you don't talk to me during the day you sure as heck ain't gonna touch me at night". I learned to say that during our 43 years roller-coaster marriage.
Many times there was no anything to bring it on. It was an abusive way of making the bully feel power over you. And to show their disdain and dislike of you.
I said her either block me or talk to me.
But she did Nither..🤦🤦🤦
I need to process big emotions and sometimes it takes days to get my thoughts together because arguments disregulate me...js
3 days ❌
3 months ✅
I don't beg people to speak to me
I grew up with the silent treatment, as mother and stepdad #2 forever argued. There would be the weekly screaming match and then the silent treatment for 2 weeks. Ever since then, I vowed to myself to never do that with anyone I was with. I had to learn how to do that. But it's learn or repeat patterns that you hate.
Mine gave me the silent treatment after accused me for giving wrong information to our students during lesson.
Thanks