MARRIAGE AND SEVERE AVOIDANT ATTACHERS
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- It may seem bizarre that someone who was adamant about not wanting commitment for one person would walk the aisle for the next person, there may be reasons as to why this might be the case… and no, it’s not necessarily because they found the ‘right person’.
In fact, many of these people may choose to date and marry people because they want to prove to others and themselves that they don’t have a problem with commitment to avoid any accountability or need to work on themselves.
In other cases, the idea of marriage might be very compelling until it feels like reality and cause this person to freak out and destroy their marriage abruptly or over time.
Just because avoidant attachers have a fear of intimacy and commitment doesn’t mean they’ll stop at the aisle for someone if it serves a purpose for them.
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own.
Was told every day from the moment I woke up “Marry Me” after only being together for a few months and like a dummy I did and now fast forward through all the betrayal and abuse (mental, emotional, and physical) currently going through the divorce process. I’ve learned so much from it just wish I didn’t have to endure so much pain.
This channel, Ken and its subscribers, have helped me SO MUCH to validate how I've been reeling and feeling after a discard by my 2.5 yr situationship with my DA. It feels so much better to have some answers as to this confusing process. All the best to those of us healing.
Watching your videos have honestly been a series of a-ha moments.
You put things so well and the insights are so helpful.
I feel like after many years I can finally move on without blaming myself.
Thank you.
In short, they use people as band aid⛑️
Yep
I cannot get over how the person I dated must have lived his whole life. As an older person, I'm like WOW, what a complete waste - it's not living - it's skimming the surface - he actually expressed how the potentiality of choices in life was an issue and always has been - be it career, relationships, you name it probably. I am so damn thankful I am not like this person as it is a certain kind of hell they live it and quite frankly they aren't even aware of the depth or the extent to which they are missing out - which makes it someone to be pitied as they are missing what life is all about - and I'm not just talking relationships. When one cannot process problems and work things out for themselves, they aren't just operating with one hand tied behind their back, hell they've got all their limbs hacked off. That's the way I see it - and so no wonder they can't solve anything to boot - life can indeed be cruel for humans who are born into terrible circumstances and which makes you wonder what's their life all about anyway. Makes me thankful every time I think about what some people are enduring as their 'life'
Happened to me- FA left after eight years and the marriage. Three months later, I was discarded. She rebounded with a guy she was seeing before she left me. Still heartbroken after nine months.
Sorry you’re going through this. You deserve better
DON'T DO IT 😭
Omgosh this helps so much. Mine told me he was ready for marriage he just hadnt met "the one" after 3 years ago telling me he told his mom i was...and then 4 years of gamut running (more intimate then ghosting) over and over....dating turned to friendzone bs dating situationship bs because gf freaked him out so he called dates hanging out and us being emotionally intimate friendship. We never had sex, but talked about it often. He was raped as a child and cant bring himself to experience anything other than pornography.
Stupidly i poured out my heart telling him i loved him and wanted to be a family. Poof gone. Lol. I see him around as i live in a small towm and he'll tip his hat at me. I get a howdy and a how ya doin even tho he knows he kicked my heart in the ass. Hes apologized before for seeing how negatively his actions and inactions have wounded me
....yet here we are playing the same game for what feels like the thousandth time...
I think this time he is really gone as he is not even willing to do something like give me a ride somewhere...which he always did no matter how bad of shape we were in.
This just happened to me. It has been devastating.
When they feel like they need to prove they don't fear intimacy, how much aware are they deep down they fear intimacy? Cause you don't feel the need to prove anything that comes naturally right?
They tend to not be self aware at all and dont self reflect
These people are so dangerous. They cause so much damage. And there is so much lying involved; to Self And Partner. 😔
Absolutely.
Idea for a new talk: self-sabotage, repetition compulsion and projective identification.
Is there a way to learn where on the spectrum of avoidance I can be? I don't think I'm severe avoidant, but not really sure.
Base it on how willing you are to work through challenges and talk vulnerably about feelings.