A Conversation With Dr. Elinor Greenberg About Narcissism, Borderline, & Schizoid Disorders

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
  • Several months ago I had an incredible live FaceBook conversation with Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a licensed psychologist, internationally known Gestalt Therapist and trainer who is also certified in the Masterson Approach to the Psychodynamic Treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic and Schizoid Disorders; Ericksonian Hypnotherapy and Group Psychotherapy.
    Don't let the titles put you off - she is a dynamic, lively, deeply insightful person who is a wealth of information!
    In this video, she goes into depth about NPD, BPD and Schizoid Personality Disorders in ways that are real, tangible, relatable, educational and insightful, while retaining the human and the humane.
    If you would like to read her work, she is a prolific and recognized Top Writer on Quora.com where she talks eloquently about these disorders. www.quora.com/.... And she is also the author of, "Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety" www.amazon.com...
    I hope you enjoy it and get as much out of it as I did when we spoke!

Комментарии • 72

  • @MindsetMom
    @MindsetMom 3 года назад +28

    This was amazing. I literally said to my husband recently that the whole world is walking around fragmented and seeing a fragmented world because of it.

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад +4

      Agreed! Especially ever since covid-19 started. We’re all to varying degrees in a collective state of alarmed aloneness and shock.
      Thank you for your insightful comment 😊

    • @lionswimmer4637
      @lionswimmer4637 2 года назад +1

      Indeed. In fact, contemporary academic theories of deconstructivism discuss the phenomenon of a "seemingly incoherent reality," which is, in fact, a fragmented experience.

  • @NativeHorsemanship
    @NativeHorsemanship 2 года назад +16

    Dr. Greenberg is so compassionate, I have learned so much from her.

  • @BledaRassmar
    @BledaRassmar 3 года назад +5

    I very much enjoyed hearing Doctor Elinor Greenberg’s life story, journey, experiences, perspectives, and suggestions. The good Doctor’s book and articles have been a literal lifesaver for me. Nowhere else, no matter how hard I looked, offered such actionable, practical, helpful, and effective methods and revelations-without shaming, dooming, or infantilizing. Too many sources are too vague and / or don’t know what they are talking about, are totally ignorant of personality adaptations and claim that people that have said adaptations are beyond hope. Or they simply say “go to therapy” and refuse to offer any guidance beyond that. Not every therapist is helpful, not everyone is too stupid to learn through reading, and not everyone can afford to hire a therapist week after week! I am glad Doctor Greenberg made these concepts accessible and available instead of writing people like me off and leaving us to our “just desserts”.

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад +2

      I sent Dr. Greenberg your lovely note. ❤️ Thank you for your comment. Your takeaway is the reason why I have this channel. 💓💓💓

  • @levanahbatlila859
    @levanahbatlila859 4 месяца назад +2

    Wonderful info! Very useful and helpful explanations!

  • @MariannKnudsen
    @MariannKnudsen 3 года назад +9

    I respect Dr. Greenberg a lot, I have followed her replies on narcissism on Quora and learnt a lot from her 💕

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад +2

      I love her and respect her so much as well. She’s such a gift.
      Thank you for your comment! And for subscribing ♥️

  • @user-yc6tv8sw5e
    @user-yc6tv8sw5e 3 года назад +5

    Thank you very much for this interview!

  • @klrp3246
    @klrp3246 Год назад +3

    ME! Love, unconditional, security and safety!

  • @bellakrinkle9381
    @bellakrinkle9381 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you Disorderly Conducts for this interview with Elinor Greenberg. She is loving and caring, and extremely generous with her knowledge. ❤‍🩹💝💖
    I feel that I understand these disabilities, since she speaks plain English that is not cloaked in secretive DSM code language.

  • @geralldus
    @geralldus 2 года назад +2

    This is insightful and very helpful.
    Greenberg's reference to the Tarot was interesting. I see the Tarot as a kind of personal physic support mechanism which allows the person with insight to assign their understanding to forces outside themselves when in reality the understanding comes from within themselves, although from depths they do not have access to or awareness of.

  • @soldyrkare5790
    @soldyrkare5790 Год назад +4

    Can a narcissists who really wants to change, is aware of their behavior and has developed new realistic ways of percieving themselves and others (whole object relations) make a full recovery? I am NOT speaking as an abuse victim, I'm speaking of someone who suffers from the disorder with comorbid Borderline disorder. I am sick and tired of hearing people demonize and speak of us like we aren't human. I understand the angry feelings towards narcissists and they are justified, I don't expect you to forgive us, but we are not all the same. That being said I don't encourage anyone to seek relationships with them, or the narcissist seek relationships until they have made a significant recovery and have developed better object relations. At that point they're aware of what their harmful behavior is and how it manifests.

    • @klrp3246
      @klrp3246 Год назад +1

      can you love, and admire? Listen again!

  • @remmy29
    @remmy29 Год назад +1

    Incredibly moving discussion. Thank you both. I've connected so much in my life after hearing this.

  • @leonaandreea9335
    @leonaandreea9335 11 месяцев назад

    So insightful and had no idea Dr. Greenberg has gone through this in her youth. I have been honoured to have one of my questions answered by herself on Quora. It was regarding narcissism, but don't remember entirely what it was regarding, however I think I could still find the post. Anyway, it has given me a sense of hope that things can be 'fixed', more like worked through as well as hearing some clinical side of it. Because I am a trainee counsellor, I love the humanistic side of it, but I have to be honest and say I lean towards the clinical aspect of therapy, because I believe in diagnosis. Probably coming from a really unhealthy environment where I had lots of family members with mental health issues from NPD, to schizophrenia etc and might be on the low end of autism, hence I prefer labels.. It helps me make sense of things and just knowing that with the right diagnosis, you can get the right treatment to live a healthy happy life! Thank you for this video, I was at the edge of my seat and highly enjoyed it 😊

  • @AliciaM5555
    @AliciaM5555 Год назад +1

    This is awesome! I'm an astrologer and a Borderline, and I am also learning Tarot thank you!

  • @CharisAsgard
    @CharisAsgard 3 года назад +5

    Thank you for this Conversation!
    It was really great to hear things that I suspect for a long time!
    Elinor is absolutely right telling about "instant bond on the first glance" with others borderlines. It's something supernatural nevertheless it's really exists )
    A lot of the people who came to me for consultations -- have more or less borderline adaptation characteristics.
    And "adaptation" is a really great way to name those things, I gonna use it from now on )

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад +3

      Thank you for your comment. Agreed; the term "adaptations" really takes the 'wrongness' out of the diagnosis.

  • @user-pg5gz3ov6y
    @user-pg5gz3ov6y Год назад +1

    amazing..just wonderful hopeful content

  • @MrMarbles77
    @MrMarbles77 3 года назад +2

    This was great. The message about spirituality at the end gave me a lot to ponder.

  • @Bammaaa1
    @Bammaaa1 Год назад +1

    Thank you. It’s all making sense now.

  • @trushyna
    @trushyna 3 года назад +1

    Thank you very much for this conversation!

  • @AquaticHedgehog
    @AquaticHedgehog 2 года назад +1

    Brilliant, sensitive, insightful and brave! ❤️

  • @AscendedVitality
    @AscendedVitality Год назад

    Thank You Ana + Dr. Greenberg ✨🙏🏼✨

  • @anjachan
    @anjachan 3 года назад +2

    I really like the videos of you both together very much !!

  • @klrp3246
    @klrp3246 Год назад +1

    I am #3 Narc Mother, maybe #2, my mother was competitive, I gave it up until I didn't. 4th is when she wanted to kill me!! I could absolutely not believe. I loved her and then I decided, no more! I did not know this, but weird, at 7 and memory (65 now) my sister is born and as a child she gave my brother and I a break. I doubt you will ever respond - but our mother never had any mercy for my brother. Oh well, I would like to be a candidate for Dr. Elinor Greenberg, we could probably write a best selling novel to heal others! TY K

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад +1

    thanks

  • @uglyawesome
    @uglyawesome 7 месяцев назад +1

    I wonder if she has heard about the organ harvesting schizoid dream: You wake up on a cold table in a lab, like a forensic pathology lab. You look around in the fluorescent light and everything seems shiny and gray and it somehow seems dark. There surrounding you are all figures you’ve known and maybe some you’ve invented in your head. You ask “what are you all doing here??” And they stare blankly with no response. You look down and realize you have an incision scar on your abdomen or back. They’re here to harvest your organs.

    • @bellakrinkle9381
      @bellakrinkle9381 5 месяцев назад

      OMG! Hopefully you will find someone who can work with you to unravel this dream. I've been observing my dreams 50 years and I know the importance of dreams on a feeling/emotional level.

  • @mandyschwartzberg3849
    @mandyschwartzberg3849 Год назад

    Wow, that Book Cover... BEAUTIFUL 🌳 ❤⭐🗝 🌳

  • @RockstarSissy
    @RockstarSissy 3 года назад +3

    Why was it when you said Elderberries I was looking in my plant identification book at the Common Elderberry illustration.

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад +2

      Ha! That's actually sort of amazing! 🤯

    • @RockstarSissy
      @RockstarSissy 3 года назад

      And now as I suffer from covid, elderberry syrup has been eaten…the entire tasty bottle. I was told to get many bottle. It ain’t cheap.

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  3 года назад

      @@RockstarSissy lol 😂

  • @ullaskoglund9926
    @ullaskoglund9926 2 года назад

    Thank you ♥️

  • @nathankoehler2143
    @nathankoehler2143 3 года назад +1

    fantastic

  • @emusnunez5512
    @emusnunez5512 6 месяцев назад

    Hi
    I admired your dedication to this field
    I have a question. My situation is that there is a person who wants me to fill puzzled for not authorized research on one I care about. What should I do?
    Well if I find out I will go for jail time.
    But what is your professional opinion?

  • @kattekongen
    @kattekongen 2 года назад

    Great interview!

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад +1

    52:30 pragmatic advice.

  • @parusahu6961
    @parusahu6961 Год назад

    I think, I have borderline disorder as I enjoy certain sufferings of others, and I never felt bad about those who suffer as I mostly remain indifferent and enjoy them. I act as if it bother me but it doesn't. Is it a serious issue or common in today's day and age. Great interview....Thank you

  • @joannahardwick192
    @joannahardwick192 2 года назад +1

    I find her book very helpful

  • @marilynsturgess370
    @marilynsturgess370 2 года назад +1

    I love Docto Greenberg"s book on the sv⁷hoid perso nality. I feel she im
    S right about not ttrusting people and beimg fiercely independent i am going right out to buy her book

  • @jrbknyc8785
    @jrbknyc8785 2 года назад +2

    This video is so helpful. I’m a male borderline though I’ve been through extensive treatment and have a pretty stable normal life at 35 except for relationships lol but career and health wise in good shape. I’ve started to feel I possibly had or have npd as well but the truth is I know above average narcissism is present in bpd . I can be so jealous or rage consumed . So vindictive. Granted Dbt skills have helped me from resorting to destructive and chaotic behavior. The level of passive aggressive insensitivity I can sometimes show people really had me believing i was also a narcissist . I try my best to be a good person and when I hurt someone with words or selfish behavior I do feel genuine remorse but I also engage in a lot of “one upping “ and other narcissistic behavior. I just want to be normal. Some people my age want a wife or a husband, or a certain amount of money or status . All I really want is inner peace . My fear is that if I am a narcissist than inner peace is off the table atleast in this lifetime. I’ve been becoming more religious lately which is something I do when I feel I’m near an existential crisis. I just want to be okay with myself and know who I am . To shed the false self. All other material or relationship success stuff it’s be nice to have but inner stillness I’d take over all those things any day of the week

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  2 года назад +1

      I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR! It says a LOT about where you are in your recovery. Bravo! You've come a long way. I get that you want more, but the fact that you have a deep desire for inner peace is a sign of deep healing. ✨❤

  • @ecnoto
    @ecnoto 6 месяцев назад +1

    Does Dr Greenberg do virtual counseling?

    • @DisorderlyConducts
      @DisorderlyConducts  6 месяцев назад +1

      I believe she does however I’m not sure if she’s taking new clients. You can reach out to her via Quora.

    • @ecnoto
      @ecnoto 6 месяцев назад

      Thank you

  • @sazzthug99
    @sazzthug99 3 месяца назад

    Has she developed and used that accelerated treatment she had mentioned?

  • @asgharmohammad9687
    @asgharmohammad9687 Год назад

    ❤awesome

  • @AR-gw3nd
    @AR-gw3nd 5 месяцев назад

    Does she see patients still?

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад

    47:30

  • @LadyLuck8_4
    @LadyLuck8_4 Год назад +2

    The millionaire casino player in Indecent Proposal strikes me as some flavour of narcissist.

  • @klrp3246
    @klrp3246 Год назад +1

    Good grief, I accepted Mommy abuse to please Mommy with my younger brother! I ran away at 16 to survive from Mother, I married at 16, but I was glad to leave!

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад

    15:15

  • @MiraMira-ri8gz
    @MiraMira-ri8gz 9 месяцев назад +1

    I think this dimunizes the danger of narcissists. They are like a social bomb causing mass trauma. They need help. Get out.

  • @musicmadeforyou6316
    @musicmadeforyou6316 2 года назад +1

    Well. Where was all this when I was young.

  • @Ian24s
    @Ian24s Год назад

    28:20

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад

    8:05

  • @agnescroteau8960
    @agnescroteau8960 8 месяцев назад

    1:28

  • @Ian24s
    @Ian24s Год назад

    40:15

  • @scottthomas5819
    @scottthomas5819 2 года назад

    👍