I do have a depressing insecurity about being uncharismatic/uninteresting/not worth talking to, compared to some imagined hyperconversational extrovert that i think i used to be. Taken to its logical extreme, a psychologist would probably tell me I don't think I'm worthy of love or something. I do appreciate this video. Thanks Robin.
1: Listen to those who speak if want to be listened to. 2: Avoid arguing with indifferent things, and avoid asking useless questions. 3: Converse cordially according to the mood of the room. 4: One must avoid talking lot a long time about oneself. 5: Let people reach their own conclusions. 6: Never speak with airs of authority or use words and terms that are bigger than things. 7: Retain opinions that might hurt the feelings of others. 8: It is dangerous to always want to be the master of the conversation. 9: Remain silent if there's nothing to say. 10: Practice the art of silence.
@@Josh-vf2im they are really useful when you're making handwritten notes by yourself and English isnt your 1st language. And pausing the video isn't too convenient.
When asking questions try to elicit narrative response answers not just yes or no. So not “Do you like the meal? Try “what do you like about the meal? “Did you have fun” try “what did you enjoy” This will open up shy people and offer additional additional content to keep the conversation going.
This is exactly what i have been thinking about: what is a good conversation? I wanna learn this art to have a great conversation. Thanks for sharing!!! Love your content.
A perverted conversation isn't worth having. If truth isn't the objective and idle talk is what you seek, you can easily satisfy yourself by speaking to a brick in the wall.
One thing I would like to add to this, and that ties into the point of practicing the art of silence, is to avoid filler sounds like "Um", "Eeh", "Uuh", "Ehrm", and so on. It's incredibly annoying, people lose interest and stop listening to you, and it makes it seem like you have no idea what to say or what you are even talking about. Instead - master the art of silence and practice it! This is my main "trick" when talking to people, especially groups. They are like soft toffee in my hands and I can keep them interested for quite a while.
I have been coaching people with ASD on how to have conversations and stumbled onto a very similar rule set. The battle always seem to revolve around pertinence and brevity - to use rule 6, keeping it short and sweet.
4:26 I remember Simon Sinek's story on Steven Barlett's channel when you mentioned this. Basically, he watched his friend's play which he thought was terrible. When the show was done, and he met his friend backstage, he didn't confront immediately his thoughts on the performance (because the friend was still in full adrenaline out of happiness for finishing the play). He waited until the next day and gave this friend a call to open up about his opinions about the performance. This resonates with point 3 you mentioned (3:24): Converse cordially according to the mood of the room.
This is a very informative video. I managed to sit through the whole six minutes and nineteen seconds, just listening to you talk, and absorbing as much information as I can. This video is not only helpful for those who wish to learn to communicate better, but also for those who would like to practice listening. Thank you for making this video, Robin, and congratulations, for you have earned another subscriber.
I love your videos but the one thing I feel is missing is examples of each scenario. I love the broad but delicate way you explained each “step”, so to speak. Excited to see more!
Thanks for this brother. I really appreciate the insights, I actually watched this before work and had some very productive meetings today. I often feel like I blab half baked ideas just to say something. Today I said less and accomplished more. God bless!
These are very important points that could help us here in the USA where having a civil conversation with someone on the opposite side of your political stance is almost impossible.
Another excellent video. I read La Rochefoucauld’s book of maxims. He had a wonderful way of saying difficult things in a beautifully simple way. I agree with your points on a better conversation - specially on the art of letting the other person reason the conclusions by themselves.
Looking unfriendly is the only way I can hide my anxiety, which as a result leaves me depressed on all the good conversations I could’ve had so thanks for this video I’ll try these things out
Awesome ideas to keep front of mind! Thank you Robin. #7 reminds me of Anne Lamott saying, "...you don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it, too."
i like these, maybe do a few more of these, where most of your videos are longer essays, but every month or so you do one of these five minute things. tidbits if you will. great video as always
This has been the best video I've watched all week. Cheers. I love these fascinating tidbits of history that really show such a genuine insight, a peak, into the genuine human condition and the communities of.
I've got a conversation tip, whenever you're presenting information to an audience, try to condense your thoughts and make them pithy. If you have to do an introduction before you get to the meet of your presentation, make that introduction grief and shorter in length then the actual meat of your content
I just stumbled onto this problem myself actually. I feel like I’m boring plus I have some anxiety which doesent help matters. I think what I’m going to do is try to get people to tell me more about themselves then use that to make conversation.
@ Robin Waldun ---------- I am going through a period of refreshing my relationship with "actual reading" of books versus mostly listening to them through audio versions. And even though I came across your channel just yesterday ( May 5th, 2023 ), I know I will be returning for more because I'm enjoying your content very much. Anyhow I just wanted to let you know...and also share my genuine appreciation of your creativity through your RUclips channel.
The title card or video image pic can be tweaked if your accepting feedback as far as shot type and angle. However, right off the bat, your content was really engaging! Hopefully continuing to watch your videos hosts the energy I experienced in the first couple secs of this one! Sorry if this is long-winded .....;-\
I've gotten accustomed to these tips and they do help, but I find myself sometimes just not knowing what to say, I force myself to be present in conversation (a common tip) but at times I have nothing to say, is that normal or is there a way to keep the flow of conversation
Bonne vidéo ! Personnellement, je conseille le livre "CONVERSATION & RÉPARTIE", de Nathan Stone. Y a tout ce qu'il faut savoir, c'est clair, très complet, pas de discours superflu, le top. Tous ceux à qui je l'ai conseillé en sont très contents ! C'est un indispensable.
No until La they told me everything - as I said a message delivered by my fav singer - so let’s say 12 years ago or when was the housing crisis? -after that things started to go south.
Who here like me like to use fancy words when speaking so that you sound like you speak English very fluently such as "interesting" or "strange" and "extraordinary".
Well I could be the most interesting person to talk to and be great at conversation but that could be due to the fact that I'm doing all the work. If I'm doing all the work what if I end up hating the conversation myself. Even if it's a pretty girl. Maybe I'm miserable in hopes that she will like me. So I go for hours of boredom. One also has to learn to enjoy conversations and be present. That's one trick I think. Just focus on what the person is saying. It's great to be able to get a person talking but after a while they will start to get rude. I'm talking about after years. They will notice when you stop listening because they are talking non stop for hours and never asking anything except "Are you listening?".
5:00 okay...then when will I ever learn to be good at conversations if I never have anything to say? In my opinion, if you are trying to learn how to converse more, you should be trying to fill up the silence. Even if it's meaningless. Just do it and learn what you could've done instead to make it seem less forced or awkward, etc.
I came here because I have a few aquantances who always dominate the conversation. In one group one of them spent about twenty minutes telling me the intricacies of assembling a kitchen cupboard without interruption, while another always talks about himself and you can't get a word in edgeways (I've since left the group for this reason). Another, a girl I know, speaks at one hundred miles an hour and might give you a few seconds to reply before she's off again. I just don't understand the lack of self-awareness of these 'friends'. It's just another of many reasons why I don't like people.
Honestly can't agree with rule nine. Yeah, for some people it applies, some people just need to shut up, but I'm silent most of the time because I have nothing to say and people seem to be scared of or disgusted by me because of it. I don't know if the people around me are just very judgmental or what, but it hasn't been working too well tbh
Well this wasn't really what i was looking for, no offense. I think maybe if i put my phone down for a while i might be able to work on the conversation part of my brain. I have conversations with myself all the time. I'll have to memorize a list of topics to talk about, then i can free style from there
Tips such as these (which by the way are simple common sense) Do not accommodate for natural shortcomings. The gift of the silver tongue, after all... Can not be taught.
Because I’m a private person. I don’t like to go many places, people are too nosy. Where do you live? Where do you work? Do you have any kids? Are you married?
I do have a depressing insecurity about being uncharismatic/uninteresting/not worth talking to, compared to some imagined hyperconversational extrovert that i think i used to be. Taken to its logical extreme, a psychologist would probably tell me I don't think I'm worthy of love or something. I do appreciate this video. Thanks Robin.
Become worthy.
@@skrywar7598 who isn't worthy of love?
@@b_delta9725 Everybody who thinks he isn't? In a manner of speaking.
@@skrywar7598 I don't think it works like that.
@@lalaithan No, it most certainly does not.
1: Listen to those who speak if want to be listened to.
2: Avoid arguing with indifferent things, and avoid asking useless questions.
3: Converse cordially according to the mood of the room.
4: One must avoid talking lot a long time about oneself.
5: Let people reach their own conclusions.
6: Never speak with airs of authority or use words and terms that are bigger than things.
7: Retain opinions that might hurt the feelings of others.
8: It is dangerous to always want to be the master of the conversation.
9: Remain silent if there's nothing to say.
10: Practice the art of silence.
These types of comments are the worst.
I appreciate the shortcut. Thank you.
@@Josh-vf2im they are really useful when you're making handwritten notes by yourself and English isnt your 1st language. And pausing the video isn't too convenient.
Thanks a lot for this buddy
im fucked
I love that the "art of silence" is something so crucial to a good conversation.
Being a good listener is actually a important skill. People can like you instantly. The salon concept is so interesting btw thanks for sharing
i love how concise and clear this is, no fluff, just good content.
When asking questions try to elicit narrative response answers not just yes or no. So not “Do you like the meal? Try “what do you like about the meal?
“Did you have fun” try “what did you enjoy”
This will open up shy people and offer additional additional content to keep the conversation going.
yes, but also don't ask about mundane things if you don't want the conversation to be mundane
id rather not ask the examples you have given
@@cevcena6692i never know what to talk about
honestly if someone talked to me like that id start screaming
This is exactly what i have been thinking about: what is a good conversation? I wanna learn this art to have a great conversation. Thanks for sharing!!! Love your content.
"There are more artful ways!" Great topic Robin. Sadly it is too easy to try be right than to craft the art of conversation.
A perverted conversation isn't worth having. If truth isn't the objective and idle talk is what you seek, you can easily satisfy yourself by speaking to a brick in the wall.
One thing I would like to add to this, and that ties into the point of practicing the art of silence, is to avoid filler sounds like "Um", "Eeh", "Uuh", "Ehrm", and so on. It's incredibly annoying, people lose interest and stop listening to you, and it makes it seem like you have no idea what to say or what you are even talking about. Instead - master the art of silence and practice it! This is my main "trick" when talking to people, especially groups. They are like soft toffee in my hands and I can keep them interested for quite a while.
I have been coaching people with ASD on how to have conversations and stumbled onto a very similar rule set. The battle always seem to revolve around pertinence and brevity - to use rule 6, keeping it short and sweet.
4:26 I remember Simon Sinek's story on Steven Barlett's channel when you mentioned this. Basically, he watched his friend's play which he thought was terrible. When the show was done, and he met his friend backstage, he didn't confront immediately his thoughts on the performance (because the friend was still in full adrenaline out of happiness for finishing the play). He waited until the next day and gave this friend a call to open up about his opinions about the performance.
This resonates with point 3 you mentioned (3:24): Converse cordially according to the mood of the room.
This is a very informative video. I managed to sit through the whole six minutes and nineteen seconds, just listening to you talk, and absorbing as much information as I can. This video is not only helpful for those who wish to learn to communicate better, but also for those who would like to practice listening. Thank you for making this video, Robin, and congratulations, for you have earned another subscriber.
This is so convenient since I've been trying to better my speaking skills recently. Thanks!
I love your videos but the one thing I feel is missing is examples of each scenario. I love the broad but delicate way you explained each “step”, so to speak. Excited to see more!
the art of silence is the only thing I mastered. I just keep silent all the time 🥲
lol same here
aw hope you're okay I was the same for a long time but I'm starting to come out of my shell and it's amazing. all the best
It's really problematic for me when usually all I do is listen and not talk
To too kkkkkk
Me too* kkkkkkk to too is tomas and friends
Thanks for this brother. I really appreciate the insights, I actually watched this before work and had some very productive meetings today. I often feel like I blab half baked ideas just to say something. Today I said less and accomplished more.
God bless!
I am satisfied that he knows how well his themes and ideas are cooperative and effective content. Love it!
These are very important points that could help us here in the USA where having a civil conversation with someone on the opposite side of your political stance is almost impossible.
Another excellent video. I read La Rochefoucauld’s book of maxims. He had a wonderful way of saying difficult things in a beautifully simple way. I agree with your points on a better conversation - specially on the art of letting the other person reason the conclusions by themselves.
Looking unfriendly is the only way I can hide my anxiety, which as a result leaves me depressed on all the good conversations I could’ve had so thanks for this video I’ll try these things out
Awesome ideas to keep front of mind! Thank you Robin. #7 reminds me of Anne Lamott saying, "...you don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it, too."
Thank you for the video. Love your touch in mixing the idea of history and a lesson in communication. 😊
Gotta say, I love the 12th Doctor linen coat look you have on the thumbnail
i like these, maybe do a few more of these, where most of your videos are longer essays, but every month or so you do one of these five minute things. tidbits if you will. great video as always
This is gold but surface level only. Should go in depth on each topic with a few examples. But thank u for this guide line 🙏🏾
✔️ ⚙️ 🧠
This has been the best video I've watched all week. Cheers. I love these fascinating tidbits of history that really show such a genuine insight, a peak, into the genuine human condition and the communities of.
Hey man ! Thanks for the video ! As a french guy, I didn't know about La Rochefoucauld ! Thanks for the insight ! Take care !
First time checking this channel out, enjoyed it and subscribed right away.
In a relationship and I don't want to be seen as boring or uninteresting because I am terrible at conversations, really hope this helps me
I loved the video. Very useful tips and a very engaging research about the topic.
Thank you for this great tips ♥
Probably the most important skill on the planet.
I need these. I'm terrible in social settings with large groups of people
I love la rouchefoucauld so much! If anyone knows any similar authors please do tell!
This is a really insightful video-giving me something to think about.
I like you a lot, dude. Well done improving. 😊
This is fantastic! Thank you!
I've got a conversation tip, whenever you're presenting information to an audience, try to condense your thoughts and make them pithy.
If you have to do an introduction before you get to the meet of your presentation, make that introduction grief and shorter in length then the actual meat of your content
Noted! :)
Great content, Robin loved it!!❤
Pray for everyone here God bless you all in your lives Amen❤
More of this tips please
Thank you for this
“No one likes self-absorbed monologues, which is why a lot of people find Hamlet especially insufferable.” 👏🏼🤣
Thanks for this!
I just stumbled onto this problem myself actually. I feel like I’m boring plus I have some anxiety which doesent help matters. I think what I’m going to do is try to get people to tell me more about themselves then use that to make conversation.
Thank you
@ Robin Waldun ----------
I am going through a period of refreshing my relationship with "actual reading" of books versus mostly listening to them through audio versions. And even though I came across your channel just yesterday ( May 5th, 2023 ), I know I will be returning for more because I'm enjoying your content very much. Anyhow I just wanted to let you know...and also share my genuine appreciation of your creativity through your RUclips channel.
The title card or video image pic can be tweaked if your accepting feedback as far as shot type and angle. However, right off the bat, your content was really engaging! Hopefully continuing to watch your videos hosts the energy I experienced in the first couple secs of this one! Sorry if this is long-winded .....;-\
Ty!
incredible explanations to help us understand!
The T&Cs of conversations
really useful and interesting videos!!!
You are my best friend ❤
V helpful!
I've gotten accustomed to these tips and they do help, but I find myself sometimes just not knowing what to say, I force myself to be present in conversation (a common tip) but at times I have nothing to say, is that normal or is there a way to keep the flow of conversation
Hey, can you do a video in more depth about the life of Simone Weil?
very helpful video!!
Littering is a fine.
Could you please create a video on metafiction?
you are great
I wish saloons were still a thing
tip 11 - use texting instead of voice chat to be able to have an easily accessible history of what has been said previously.
Bonne vidéo ! Personnellement, je conseille le livre "CONVERSATION & RÉPARTIE", de Nathan Stone. Y a tout ce qu'il faut savoir, c'est clair, très complet, pas de discours superflu, le top. Tous ceux à qui je l'ai conseillé en sont très contents ! C'est un indispensable.
Merci pour la recommandation! :)
@@RCWaldun De rien ! Merci pour ce que vous faites sur cette chaîne. 🙂
can i see your desk,how are you organize all your notes,cuz,me and my notes just mess
conversation
I wonder what you think about nodding or saying 'yeah' as the speaker talks? Is it considered thoughtful or annoying?
What does #6 mean in some more detail?
That’s the problem I be too quiet and be stuck thinking on what ima say next 😩🤦🏾♂️
I really enjoy ur way of thinking ❤️ Feels refreshing to hear pure crisp thoughts🍀
PS: u r cute so it helps too🐨
It was my first day in highschool today, I fumbled my one chance to make a friend, everyone could hear my voice shake when I spoke😓
No until La they told me everything - as I said a message delivered by my fav singer - so let’s say 12 years ago or when was the housing crisis?
-after that things started to go south.
Who here like me like to use fancy words when speaking so that you sound like you speak English very fluently such as "interesting" or "strange" and "extraordinary".
I can do the art of silence…. But I have a very hard time know when to talk, especially when I encounter people that are long winded or boisterous…..
just read Gaddis' Recognitions
Well I could be the most interesting person to talk to and be great at conversation but that could be due to the fact that I'm doing all the work. If I'm doing all the work what if I end up hating the conversation myself. Even if it's a pretty girl. Maybe I'm miserable in hopes that she will like me. So I go for hours of boredom. One also has to learn to enjoy conversations and be present. That's one trick I think. Just focus on what the person is saying. It's great to be able to get a person talking but after a while they will start to get rude. I'm talking about after years. They will notice when you stop listening because they are talking non stop for hours and never asking anything except "Are you listening?".
hot damn, very good
1:50 how long it took you to pronounce this name 😂
5:00 okay...then when will I ever learn to be good at conversations if I never have anything to say?
In my opinion, if you are trying to learn how to converse more, you should be trying to fill up the silence. Even if it's meaningless. Just do it and learn what you could've done instead to make it seem less forced or awkward, etc.
I’m a very anxious person so I avoid conversation and idk what to do
Toad from super mario!
i know i’m not boring but it’s so hard to show that in comversation
Rule number one breathe in between your sentences.
Video starts at 2:55
Petty
I came here because I have a few aquantances who always dominate the conversation. In one group one of them spent about twenty minutes telling me the intricacies of assembling a kitchen cupboard without interruption, while another always talks about himself and you can't get a word in edgeways (I've since left the group for this reason). Another, a girl I know, speaks at one hundred miles an hour and might give you a few seconds to reply before she's off again. I just don't understand the lack of self-awareness of these 'friends'. It's just another of many reasons why I don't like people.
I'm sorry but you can't tell me that the thumbnail doesn't give 'babygurl' vibes 😂
💜💜
starts at 2:50
Honestly can't agree with rule nine. Yeah, for some people it applies, some people just need to shut up, but I'm silent most of the time because I have nothing to say and people seem to be scared of or disgusted by me because of it. I don't know if the people around me are just very judgmental or what, but it hasn't been working too well tbh
Well this wasn't really what i was looking for, no offense. I think maybe if i put my phone down for a while i might be able to work on the conversation part of my brain. I have conversations with myself all the time. I'll have to memorize a list of topics to talk about, then i can free style from there
La hocus pocus
Tips such as these (which by the way are simple common sense) Do not accommodate for natural shortcomings. The gift of the silver tongue, after all... Can not be taught.
Looks like lashdbrjxhrdkc was a wise man.
First one
im staying silent
I just think really fast and interrupt people
..
Are your parents rich?
La Rochewho?
Because I’m a private person. I don’t like to go many places, people are too nosy. Where do you live? Where do you work? Do you have any kids? Are you married?
Toook you a really long time to get to the point